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[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-kufn2ohn’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-kufn2n0c’ sc_version=’1.0′] Producer 0:05 Hello it’s me producer Eric and then here in the banter podcast, and today we’re going to play a new game. We’re gonna clean this right? Natty Bumpercar 0:14 Hey, hey, hey producer What’s going on? This is some wacky little music because there’s no I think all right, whatever. Hey everybody thanks producer I’m just gonna take it from here if you don’t mind Producer 0:26 totally, totally fine it’s your show and I’m just sharing just a frog over here in the pushing the buttons and doing the things and you know Rufus T. Rufus 0:39 now it’s it’s it’s it hold on one second. I got a little slow take on it. It Yeah. Night is Rufus my sound okay. All right. It is Rufus T. Rufus here and, producer. If you have a need to work on your contract, then of course, you know, who really who is to work with contact to in practice and who to interact with jack that would be all right. Natty Bumpercar 1:10 Hey, Rufus. So anyway, now it’s me Natty Bumpercar. And we’ve had a weird couple of weeks last week we talked about sad stuff the week before that was kind of sad when so now we’ve got this weird dude who did doo dee doo dee doo doo doo doo doo music that is I guess supposed to be happy. I don’t know who made this. Doodle Poodle 1:33 Hi, Natty, it’s me. Doodle Poodle. make music I like to make things. And sometimes people say that music notes look like drawings on pages. Aloysius J. Pig 1:56 Like, yeah, Natty. I don’t know. Like, what you’re two minutes into the episode. Who’s here so far? We got that. Rufus t roll fish over there. I think doodle portal we just heard produce show at yummy. I heard your talk for a second now. I’ll be Halloween. Yes. Well, what’s this episode about? anyway? That’s Natty Bumpercar 2:18 a great question. So this episode, so I haven’t been catching you guys up. I had three comedy shows last week, three night after night after night. And it was so much fun. But here’s the craziest thing that happened at one of them. It was an hour away. And I was so stressed out because there was a lot of traffic and I was supposed to get there at 645 No, wait. 630 I don’t know. But I was getting there at seven. And I was really nervous. And it was at a country club which is like a big golf course like a big fancy rich people golf course. And the way my map took me it took me past the main entrance which I didn’t even notice because I was so insanely late. You’re like my brain was like, Nah, and I wasn’t literally in through the back. I’ll wait to the back. Who am I was just gonna say oh, you bright? Well Aloysius J. Pig 3:15 you looped yellow. Rufus T. Rufus 3:16 Now hold on a second. If someone’s going to be looping looping today. I need to know about that. Because I’m gonna have to get the human resources department up and yeah, and and actuate some, some external Sam systems. No, I don’t even but I know it’s gonna be a situation. Natty Bumpercar 3:37 Great to know, no one was loop de loop. Everyone was fine. I was just, I was I was in such a rush. I wasn’t super paying attention. And then when it took me into the back, like there was a giant barn. And this big, big, big, big, big mountain of what it is that’s mulch and stuff. And I was like this and tractors were tractors, too. And I was like, well, this, this doesn’t seem this is this is weird. This isn’t a normal entrance to a big ritzy golf course. But you know, it makes if this is the way the blue line is pointing me then I guess this is the way I go. So I came in when behind or pass the barn around the hill of mulch. And then there were two roads, one to the left one to the right. The one to the left was overgrown and gravel. The one to the right, looked like it was kind of more of a road. And so I was like, Oh, well, clearly it’s the one to the right. And I started going that way and then the map was like, This isn’t the way you want to go. You want to go down this scary gravel road. And so I pulled back and I started going down that road. Now Rufus T. Rufus 4:43 I’m wondering as a lawyer of the law of the ball system, if I am going to have to recuse myself from the rest of this podcast as I don’t want to be implicated or infatuated. Or a regulated by whatever information you’re going to put out if I have to represent you Natty Bumpercar in a court of law then I don’t want to have let’s say split different Natty Bumpercar 5:16 split I don’t think you’re gonna have split differences from this situation but maybe you will Producer 5:25 I don’t know Natalie one time I went to a family reunion and the swamp inland we had several split differences that we still had to go to the doctor to diet and diet family frog family therapy to talk about with these split differences it’s been very difficult around the swamp I’ve taken to look at people I can talk to people I can do anything you know, and normally as frogs are very close in the family voted to recursively split rooms is very very difficult. Aloysius J. Pig 6:01 I’m pretty sure that split differences isn’t even a thing and it’s one of the one of the things that rolfers shows and we don’t as we talked about in the meeting for the podcast. Whenever robots or any of us you mostly say these ridiculous things. We don’t then have to respond to them as if they’re true or real. Okay, so if if Rufus is like are you gonna pay me in putting this week we don’t you don’t have to respond to that did they say I’m gonna pay you or I just to smile and walk away you could just smile that’s fine. Because what happens is we start to to simulate these things split differences in the bad case people listening they’re driving that do whatever they’re doing, they’re on their walks, maybe eating a scone I’m so hungry right now. But they hear these things and then they hear us continue to talk about them for a long time and they’re like Oh, do I do I need to learn about split differs? No, you don’t because? jibberish So anyway, yeah, I Natty Bumpercar 7:06 agree. Bumpercar Yeah, Aloysius J. Pig 7:07 were you trespassing I think that’s one of the fears Yeah, I Natty Bumpercar 7:10 don’t think I was I mean like because the map I mean, this isn’t my defense but like the map took me to this road and it took me behind the barn and so once I couldn’t go down the the seemingly more rodie Road is how I’m going to describe it and I had to go down this scary road right and it was like there was an overgrown like but like there were bushes like really close in and it was basically the width of the car like it was a tiny little road and I was again my brain was just like red flag doesn’t seem right. But I kept going and about a minute and a half in as I’m driving and it’s dark like really dark headlight it’s night everything I start looking around and I’m like well okay, I’m on this little road I’m just gonna go really slow and huh I’m right in the middle of the the golf course. Right in the middle of Zetas sand trap is this a hill like I’m in the Oh gosh, I think I might be on a golf cart path I think I might be driving on the golf golf car path in my car to this show to this benefit oh my gosh, what am I going to get and then Rufus T. Rufus 8:23 you’re going to get in big trouble because I’m looking over your insurance paperwork here and for the vehicle and nowhere does it state that you are allowed to be operating machinery upon the the links the golf course the greens the the the driving range though you know all these things. The front peg the back I don’t the whole the flag I don’t know a lot of stuff about golf courses. I’m just kind of rattling some stuff off You understand? But yeah, you clearly were against the grain this Natty Bumpercar 9:02 time I was against the grain I don’t care but like I was so nervous like I was freaking out because like I was at a point where I couldn’t back out because the road was just too tiny and I was I was like looking I put it in reverse and you have a little camera and the camera was just like I don’t I don’t think you should do it man. And I was like okay, so I’m just gonna keep going forward. And then out of nowhere this golf cart was on the garden it was flying at me like coming very fast. Aloysius J. Pig 9:34 Was it like a police golf cart? Do they have those didn’t have like lights? Was it like this is a golf cart police. Were gonna talk to you. I don’t know it wasn’t like that. Natty Bumpercar 9:46 I know it wasn’t like that. But I do appreciate the care as one reference there. So now but it was it was just a guy in a golf cart and coming at me real fast and my window was still Cuz he kind of appeared and came over to me quickly and he was yelling at me and I threw the glass in the car still running. And it wasn’t driving, but it was and I was just like, Hmm, I put up the hold on a second sign the with the finger like, excuse me, one second. I’m, I’m working on Producer 10:18 this. And by working on this, you mean you were working on making the window go down, it doesn’t really work and you push a button and goes down. It’s automatic. Natty Bumpercar 10:28 Yeah, fine. But I was just I was kind of freaked out. And it took me a second to push the button and it went down. And the guy was in mid yell, but the gist of what he was saying was, what are you doing here? You’re driving on the golf course. And I was like, oh, but a guy was me being nauseous. And I was like, I didn’t the road. And I pointed started pointing at the screen, you know, in my car. And I was like map, blue the line. Because here’s the thing. Google Maps, like, they drive cars around. I wasn’t supposed to say which map it was it was Google Maps. But they they have cars to drive around with sensors and cameras and whatnot, that map the roads. But the golf cart, lead lane, I’ll call it that little road was was mapped. So how is that even possible? That I’m I’m on a mapped road, but it’s a golf cart road. And I was trying to explain and he didn’t he didn’t really want to care for me. He didn’t really care. He was just like, follow me, you know, okay. And so I very slowly, like he got in front of me, and he’s driving, and I’m following. And then we get to a fork in the road left or right. And he kind of pulls off and I pull next to him. And he was like, go that way and now he’s just like, okay, and he’s like, why are you even here? I was like, this is it. This is my least favorite thing. I just like I’m I’m the I’m a comedian. I mean, no, you never want to own the comedian. I’m here to make people laugh. And he was like, home park right there. Like he’s yelling at me. And I don’t blame him. If he if it’s his golf course. And I’m driving on it. I would be upset too. But tonight I parked and then I made my way in and I was late to so that freaked me out. And then I got inside and I was setting everything up my microphone and everything. And yeah, and then the show happened. Rufus T. Rufus 12:35 The show happened did they lead you off after the show in handcuffs? Were you in country club? the brig the jail and whatever you under the staff Natty Bumpercar 12:49 know that. I mean, actually, honestly, they fed me. I did the show. It went fine. It wasn’t the best show, but it was fine. And I even told him this story thinking like, Oh, you guys are not gonna believe what happened to me tonight. And they were like, tell your jokes, silly man. And it was fine. It was great. It was fun. And then so I had that show. And I think that’s probably one of my favorite comedy memories that I can remember certainly because it was just so silly. I was just like this is such a me thing. That has just happened I’m on a golf course. Why Why does this happen to me? Aloysius J. Pig 13:28 You think it’s because the universe is out to get you Natty Bumpercar 13:31 know like Is that a thing is that is that real Producer 13:33 route doing frog if I’m brand friendly there are some rules about such things and you know so it’s possible that mandanna things yes the dots to get to but you know it’s you do what you do man you could just can’t okay, right? Okay, Rufus T. Rufus 13:53 I know why y’all make fun of me sometimes because I’m livid and bla bla and talk a little bit of gibberish but that frog today and lick assume I agree Aloysius J. Pig 14:02 wholeheartedly. He does he’s why he’s more of a like behind the scenes behind the board. He’s a button pusher and that’s fine. There’s no prominent there’s no issue really your great producer at what you do, which is produce unicorn. Yeah, well, hey, Natty Bumpercar 14:18 listen, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. My silly golf course story. I’m so happy that the bumper podcast is back to being silly. Maybe next week, I’ll tell you about how I got in a fight with the town council of my town and had to start an arts organization and arts Alliance if you will, or I can give you a progress report on the studio build out we’re hopefully we’re going to have some soundproofing so I don’t have to listen to banjo barking and big motorcycles going by anyway, bumper, Bond casket tears, you know what you are? Of course you do. You’re the bass Outro 15:05 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com. forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded, mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius JPG Rufus t Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar we also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar comm slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts See you soon. NonPro 16:25 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license please share it but asked before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]Author: natty bumpercar
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Bumperpodcast #403 – Season 2 – Golfing
Natty and, really everyone, talks about a ridiculous situation that Natty recently got himself into. Listen. You’ll LOVE it! The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode! -
Bumperpodcast #402 – Season 2 – Story about 20 Years Ago
There is a little warning at the beginning of the episode this week, as Natty answers a listener question about where he was on 9/11. Nothing horrible is said, but — I wanted to let you know the topic, as it can be upsetting. ❤️The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-ku733er2′ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-ku733cro’ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:00 Today’s episode comes with a little bit of a trigger warning. I’m going to talk about 911 September 11 2001 somebody asked me about my experience and I thought it’d be easier for me just to talk through it then to type everything out because it was an eventful day not just for me but for the world obviously. But just so you know. So, I lived in Brooklyn, in a place called the East Williamsburg industrial park. Nowadays everybody you’ve heard of Williamsburg probably it’s like hipster capital central central capital whatever. You take the the El train over from you get over there and we’re in Williamsburg and but at the time I lived in East Williamsburg which was factories and stuff the building I lived in it was an illegal loft, which is fun. Across the street was that where they put all the dump trucks for the night that’s where they slept the dump trucks, the garbage trucks I want to be specific because dump trucks they don’t smell that bad garbage trucks smell horrific and bring along a lot of vermin a lot of rats also in my neighborhood, and maybe I’ll go more into depth about this another time but there were packs of wild dogs that would just roam the streets and it was and and people would go to this neighborhood to set cars on fire it was it was a wasteland It was a terrifying place but it was also kind of magical the the apartment that we had but just an old building, it was raw and we built our space out and I had your two stories because that I built because the ceilings are so high and my office was on the second and I had a slide a spiral slide that that came down from the top to the bottom and it was deep but that’s where I was I was in East Williamsburg and the morning that it happened my roommate kind of came and grabbed me and he’s like hey, come up to the roof something something weirds happening. And so I ran up and you know, the first tower was was already smoking and everything and it was just like oh, this is this is weird. I’m gonna run back downstairs and we turn the TV on and I grabbed my camcorder and I ran back upstairs and we were all standing up there and there’s a crowd of people on the roof at that point we’re all watching and I’m filming and because at the time I worked at the New York Times and in the the photos and graphics division, and I was like and I really honestly I didn’t think anything crazy. Like I don’t even know if I knew what happened to the first hour that’s that point I saw there’s a fire in the World Trade Center This is That’s crazy. Look at this look at that smoke Wow. And didn’t even really think about people being hurt and everything because it was just like, you know fires happen in New York City and skyscrapers it’s certainly scary and precarious but I think it’s gonna be Oh my god. Just sec second tower. There isn’t there’s got just got hit. And I was filming. And so then at that point, that’s when Yeah, your whole body just kind of it’s a shutter. It was just a chill like a gut feeling. my now wife, then girlfriend worked in the city in Manhattan on Spring Street, and that’s if you need a location, it’s kind of it’s Southern Manhattan. So it’s it’s not very far from all the shenanigans, all the badness. And so first thought was, how do I get in touch with her? I start calling and calling and calling and I can’t get her. At the time we had two very close friends living in the city very near to me, and I had a truck that I would zoom around and his name is Gomez, gogo Gomez and silver truck. And so I called the friend and I was like are you seeing this? Do you see what I’m coming over and drove over and his his girlfriend also worked in Manhattan. So now it’s the two of us and we’re trying to get in touch with to find these people. These close people of ours that are in the city. You’re it’s it’s, it was a real moment of like, you know, you have to think about what’s happening you have to process what’s happening, but you also have to like, figure out how to get your people safe. The people you love safe. And I don’t really and cell phones were basically non existent. Like it was the the system was down. The traffic was everywhere. There’s cars, gridlock, there’s people just in the streets. And eventually, we found his girlfriend and I don’t remember how that happened. But we found her and we got her in the car. And then we went to the Manhattan Bridge, I think it was the Manhattan and not the Brooklyn I think was a Manhattan Bridge. But there were just just droves of people coming across the bridge. And you know, we kept trying to text and call and everything. And this was I had a Nokia we did have a I have a razor is crazy old phones. No, I think it was it was this Nokia and it was called like it was like a candy bar. And it was this little plastic phone. And it was bright yellow. And I think the back had fallen off. And it was it was it was great because it just kept going and kept doing it. But it was it was it was a little bit of a wreck that phone. But I think I finally managed to text her. You know, like, have friends in truck. base of bridge, we’ll wait we’ll find you whatever. And it was a tense few hours, you know, and so we finally found her and then we’re all in the truck. And we were all starving because it was later in the day at that point and we ate I feel like we ate at McDonald’s and it was a weird thing because that’s not really someplace we ate. But it was it felt very, for lack of a better term jingoistic like we it made us feel like America like Uh huh, what’s happening? Oh, eat at McDonald’s. That’ll make things it didn’t make it better, but, and then you’re glued to the television, really? And trying to take it all in and contacting relatives who aren’t in the city and know you are in this city. That was another mad rush of people calling or texting. Are you okay? Is everything okay? No, it’s not. I as I said, I saw I worked at the New York Times. And I couldn’t get into the city that day, because they closed off all the bridges and everything in the trains and everything shut down. But when I finally was, I think it was the next day that I was able to get into the city. And I was talking to somebody about this recently, that I worked something like 35 straight days, like every single day. And these were long shifts too, because it just the amount of information, the amount of images and just everything that were coming through our pipeline to get out to other papers across the world was was massive. And I feel like the way I got into the city if my brain is right, is I rode my bike up over the Queen’s was a 50/51 Street Bridge 54th Street, 57th Street, there’s a bridge up there that I went across. Yeah, it’s the 59th Street Bridge, the Queensboro Bridge, kind of near Long Island City kind of over I don’t know it, but I that’s what it is. So I was able to ride across on my bike and get to the times building and basically to stay there. And my experience is slightly different from a lot of people. Everyone’s experience is different, obviously. But being in that building and being so tied to the news and all the images that are coming in. And many images that couldn’t be published or couldn’t be sent out for print or anything was intense, and it really kind of mess my brain up because I’m seeing things that are truly horrific. And then also doing it every single day it meant you didn’t have a second to really kind of take a breath or bounce back or anything like that. And yeah, it was just constantly being exposed to these things. Speaking of exposed and this is is a really terrible thing in the city and this was for a while there was it I mean it was basically smoke but it felt like you know just smog or whatever but it was just this pervasive ever present just white ish cloudy I don’t know bro that was there for a while but much worse than that even was the smell the burning you know like the electrical burning just the building burning metal and glass and whatever and at that hung in the air for a long time and it’s weird I think it was like a week or two ago there was a fire and it was probably like 10 miles from my house 810 miles but it was an industrial fire and it was I was I was walking to get the kid at school or something like that and I got hit by this smell and you know they always say that smell is one of the most powerful triggers of memory or whatever but man that smell hit me and I was I was right back and that it was it was I don’t know it’s I don’t know how you do but the way i i i like to experience things and sometimes I’ll take a step back and I’ll look at how long the experience things and I’ll try to figure out how I’m experiencing them and why I’m experiencing them in that way and maybe why my brain is thinking of x y and z and why banjo loves to bark every time I’m doing a podcast like these are just things that I think of and that’s okay but yeah, it was 20 years ago and it it still weighs heavily on my heart and on my mind and every so often depends like you know if I am thinking about something or whatever like I can definitely still like it a little early and get upset by the whole thing oh you know as I should. It was a terrible day. It was a it was a day that I think a lot of stuff changed the world and not not for the better certainly. But that’s for another day. Speaking of another day, really quick I want to address the last podcast I had a song and some people got very worried about me. They were like are you okay? It sounds very sad. It sounds very ominous. And it was not my intention. I always I was kind of trying to I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the Willy Wonka movie The first one the original one but there’s a there’s a scene where Wonka is on a boat kind of thing in the chocolate river with all the kids and he’s singing this song and it also is pretty ominous also if I’m if I’m To be honest, but that was kind of like I was trying to try to capture that in a way and and I made the song up on the spot so there was no intentionality behind it. There was no like, I’m gonna sit down and write out this sad, you know, skit wherever I was. So I apologize if if I made anyone upset or worried. And now we’re doing this episode. Maybe next I think next episode, let’s get back to the fun. What do you think of that? I think that would be amazing. I would love that it’s October it’s rocktober. Let’s kick out the jams. Let’s raise the roof. I mean, is this the bumper podcast? Or is this the bumper podcast? It is the bumper podcast. And you guys have my bumper podcast, cut tears. And I want you all to take a minute today. Take a deep breath. Look at the sky, right? Or look at the mirror, look at yourself, and just give yourself a hug. Because the world is a lot and you need to take care of yourself. That’s important, you’re important. And you need to take care of yourself. Okay? And if you ever get you know, a little too if things are too bunu then, you know, send me an email and well I know I’ll try like helping people that’s what I do. And, and you guys helped me everyday by listening to this and I appreciate it. And now I’m gonna go drink some tea because that’s what I do. That’s what I do. Outro 15:26 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com. forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded, mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius JPG Rufus t Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar calm slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts. See you soon. NonPro 16:45 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but asked before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container] -
Bumperpodcast #401 – Season 2 – Singy
Natty sings an odd song. A really odd song. The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-ktn7f46s’ sc_version=’1.0′] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-ktn7f343′ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:00 I sometimes feel like maybe I’m not obvious I sometimes feel like maybe I’m a blog obvious oblivious. oblivious to all the things and all this stuff. I wonder if all like two will ever be and yeah, Aloysius J. Pig 0:33 it probably won’t. Unknown Speaker 0:37 I said and making do and think in everything everything though I even though I even though I don’t even know sometimes what I mean probably sleepy, tired grumpy out of steam probably woke up on the bed wrong. I guess. Tomorrow’s another day? I think so let’s hold out hope for brighter things. And better days. Don’t let the goose’s weigh you down. How heavy can Natty Bumpercar 1:35 crowd crying inside outside turn that smile around a frown flowers in the ground are bright bird up in the air I think I can I think I might around in circles. Tonight I’m fine. Okay. Fine. I’m okay. Fine, okay. here more than five more than okay. Over under the stars much too close. And much too far. More brains a spongy one g fuzzy. Unknown Speaker 3:01 Few fuse. tangental paradox. I go high lately since bid up to a smidge of dread. That’s okay. We just move forward Porsche so we can do everything and every day wake up and go on and on about your day. I mentioned this to you my friends. My podcast pounds in hopes you’re good in hopes you’re well in hopes you smile. Rufus T. Rufus 3:59 Now, Aloysius, what’s the word here? Was it what would what just happened? Was that the episode or was he okay once I mean what’s happened is I don’t understand that was very different from anything that we have produced in the past so this is this is new territory. Aloysius J. Pig 4:15 Yeah, so I don’t know that was pre recorded. And he’s he’s sleeping right now. It seems fine to me. Are you sleeping I could be any better than that. My take on it is he’s okay. However, the he’s a little bit upset with himself because he recorded the 400th episode big episode big planes and then kind of took a month off so now I didn’t get happening sorry. Got a little popcorn seat up but my teeth Rufus T. Rufus 4:15 popcorn I know what it told me there’s gonna be popcorn is as any as any I left now just read it. Aloysius J. Pig 4:53 Oh, yeah, no, I you know, you got to put food in front of it. What am I gonna do? I’m gonna finish it. That’s what I do. Yeah, But anyway, I’ll talk to him. We’ll see what happens and he’s good. We’ll see. We’ll talk to him. Hopefully we’ll do another episode next week we can pick out get back on track. You know how it is. So it’s always that that August slump and then when there’s a big episode sometimes then there’s a lag so we’re fine. Everything’s good Bumperpodcastketeers I’ll say hi. Hello. wacky funny jokes and everything. I’ll always just JPG here with Rufus T. Rufus. And I don’t know man I that song though. Oh, wow. He Rufus T. Rufus 5:35 is that what we’re calling the song that’s the title of it off off Eve? Because I need to you know if we’re gonna be putting that out I don’t know if we are but I do need a title. So right now I’m going to pin cillian off Aloysius J. Pig 5:49 off so perfect. Oh, lately I had to go Oh, he or not something is a different song. But he I get the I get the drift. I mean, like the bad guy, but he was just like a drone. I don’t want to I don’t want to upset him and I’ll feel Listen to this. But Wow. Wow. Give that kid some milk. Right. So energy. I don’t know what a nice piece of cheese Maybe? Maybe a pretzel. Oh, I would know a pretzel Rufus T. Rufus 6:22 with a pretzel now you’re gonna go a classical with the salt on top of salted pretzels. Are you gonna go with the new kid on the block? But I feel like a strong contender the cinnamon and sugar? Aloysius J. Pig 6:36 That’s an excellent question. Um, for me, you know, it’s the classic that I want savory, or do I want sweet? That’s going to depend on the time of the day. It’s going to be in you know, depending on my my, just my mood in general, what am I having to drink with it? some sort of a beverage. I do know that the cinnamon and sugar is going to wear me out because I’m going to have a sugar rush, obviously. So there’s a lot of bits and pieces variables to consider. But I you know, I think they all have their merits. They have the pros so and they have their cons obviously or not. Rufus T. Rufus 7:10 Here’s my plan. I think we should get together and discuss this. But what we’re going to do is we’re going to have a pretzel meal. We’re also going to start off with the salt pretzle. So big salt in pretzel, you know, you get your meal there. And then for dessert now for dessert, I’m thinking we’re gonna have the cinnamon and sugar pretzel, how about that? Why don’t they promote it this way? Hey, you you want to prep so you can’t decide between this one or that one? We’re gonna give it to you half and a half. We’re gonna give you the salted and then later on, you’re going to come back with the cinnamon and sugar. We’re going to call it a pret a duo of pretzels. duet of breads do i do Aloysius J. Pig 7:52 Oh, do what do what? pretzel two ways? Yeah, I don’t know. But yeah, okay. I was gonna stay here and hang out with Bumpercar because it was kind of worried or whatever. But like now Yeah, let’s let’s pretzel. Rufus T. Rufus 8:04 It is pretzel time. Outro 8:20 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius JPG Rufus t Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar we also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar comm slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hudson hearts See you soon This NonPro 9:42 has been a non productive media presentation executive producer Franco blaue this program and many others like it on the nonproductive now network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license please share it but asked before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dashboard diff.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container] -
Bumperpodcast #400 – Season 2 – Threats and Celebrations
Natty goes to an event in his town to talk, and the results are less than awesome. The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Podcast about camps! An old podcast about shellfish!Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_background_color=” hover_font_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-ks4vmziq’ sc_version=’1.0′] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-ks4vmxhe’ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:00 Hello, bumper podcast. It’s me Natty Bumpercar and before big episode and this is a big episode because it’s number 400, which is huge. I just wanted to say a couple things. I’m sorry that we’re in our August doldrums. What are those? Well, late summer it seems that I’ll record an episode and then a couple of weeks will go by with no episode and that’s where we are. add on top of that, that I wanted to have a super special thing happened for Episode 400. It didn’t, but that’s okay, cuz it’ll happen soon enough. So anyway, strap in, get ready, get your bottle, your Baba, your whatever, whatever you do to listen to this show and get ready because here we go. It’s Episode 400 of the bumper badass. What’s going on bumper podcast? It’s me Natty Bumpercar. I’m so happy. It’s the 400th episode. So what we were going to do was we’re going to make a new intro and we’re still working on that because that’s how things work. I get big ideas and then sometimes I can’t do them. Also, I’ve been insanely busy because Hey, guys, oh, hey, Bumpercar Hey, not much. I’m just hanging out. This is the 400th episode. I’m so glad that you guys did you guys bring me flowers. Now. Rufus T. Rufus 1:12 We have one wanted it to be a very special episode. Very special bumper crop. What’s it called again? Aloysius J. Pig 1:19 It’s a bumper podcast. He’s like his name. Natty. Bumpercar. So bumper pod Bumper To Bumper Car podcast? No, Natty Bumpercar 1:28 it’s the bumper podcast. It’s just it’s like bumper car. But you take off the car bumper, and then you put podcast and you squish them together. So podcasts are fun. Natty Bumpercar is fun. So you squish them together. And you get podcast or copper. Rufus T. Rufus 1:44 Yeah, no, I think you did it back. But okay. I just wanna make sure Doodle Poodle 1:47 yeah, yeah, so a bumper podcast. But also I’ve been super busy. Aloysius J. Pig 1:51 are we calling napping busy? Because I’ve seen you sleeping a lot lately. Natty Bumpercar 1:54 You watch what? Watch me sleep. We’re Rufus T. Rufus 1:57 not we don’t. I mean, we have a monitor in your room. And we also have one of those things on the mattress, like, you know, they have in a baby’s crib, just to make sure that everything is all right. Natty Bumpercar 2:08 Why do you have those things I don’t understand? Aloysius J. Pig 2:10 Well, it’s because you know, like you said, this is a 400th episode, the whole thing is kind of wrapped around you bumper car. And so we figure we’re too deep in at this point, to be able to switch things up very well. So we just want to protect you. All right, Natty Bumpercar 2:26 I appreciate that. Um, while I was speaking of protecting me, this is one of the things that’s kept me so incredibly busy. So a few weeks ago, in my town, there was a BOE meeting, which is Board of Education Board of Ed. And and these are people that are like elected to, I guess, help the schools get stuff done and whatever. And, and so they sit on a stage, and I don’t there’s like, I don’t know, 1000 of them, there’s a lot of them, there’s not 1000. And they go through all their little notes. And then they they like handed over to the crowd, and everybody gets three Rufus T. Rufus 3:02 minutes, three minutes. That’s more microphone time than you’re going to get in any New York City. Open Mic Aloysius J. Pig 3:09 isn’t a it’s more than an open mic. But it’s even more than a lot of bring us because if you don’t bring enough people, then they ain’t gonna give you your full five. So three minutes is good. How’d you do? No, I Natty Bumpercar 3:20 well. So it’s crazy, because I got up and I was I was number like, 21 on the list. There were 21 other people in front of Rufus T. Rufus 3:29 me. Oh, no. So this is more like a showcase situation where you just kind of have a host? How do they do that? Aloysius J. Pig 3:36 Is it like a name out of a hat type of situation? Like, oh, you’re next? Natty Bumpercar 3:40 No, no, no, no, they had a list and they just kind of went down the list. And they would call out names. And Rufus T. Rufus 3:47 so legally, what did you use? Bumpercar? Because if you did, we’re gonna have to file some legal documents, probably just because that’s supposed to be a stage where you want to stay now Natty Bumpercar 3:58 I wasn’t representing the company. Don’t worry. I used the the other name that no one speaks of. But here’s it so I get up. And it’s been a little contentious through the course of the night. What is Aloysius J. Pig 4:12 what is content content? content? Rufus T. Rufus 4:15 It sounds a little bit like a pasta like, excuse me a waiter? Do you have content to sound on the menu tonight as a special I’d like a big plate of Natty Bumpercar 4:27 content. Now. It’s so contentious means people were kind of arguing a little bit. And and that was one of the reasons that I even felt like I had to go and talk to some friends of mine. We had seen what has happened at the previous meeting, where there were groups of high school kids who were giving a presentation on LGBTQ rights and their experiences. And there were parents in the audience who actually heckled them who got up and like that kind of stuff to kid Rufus T. Rufus 4:59 on You know, I do not appreciate that type of rabble. That type of bluster. Don’t send them booing children. I don’t. I don’t like that one bit. Aloysius J. Pig 5:12 Yeah, that sounds terrible. Like what kind of happened? It doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s Natty Bumpercar 5:18 really it’s terrible. Yeah. And so like, I was watching that virtually on the computer. And I was just like, I can’t let those people be the only ones who are getting the chance to talk. Like, I feel like, I’m pretty okay. Talk on a microphone. Well, Rufus T. Rufus 5:33 I mean, you did buy all these microphones. So I mean, I don’t know if you’re good, necessarily. But you certainly know how to. I mean, you speak. So that’s acceptable as well. Yeah. Next time, Aloysius J. Pig 5:43 if you want somebody who’s really versed in the microphone, maybe you should send me Okay, bro. I’ll go out and I’ll do that things. And I’ll say some words, and then everybody will sing around. Natty Bumpercar 5:55 Me mean, yeah, I know you are really good at the microphone. But I don’t, I don’t think you would have wanted to do this. I. So I get up. And there was a person earlier who was speaking and she said that she said this phrase a couple of times. And I show then I jokingly when I went up and she was making fun of the other people. She called everyone super duper, super duper liberal elites. And she made you know, she was mocking people. And so when I got up, I was just like, Hey, everybody, my name is Natty Bumpercar. And Rufus T. Rufus 6:31 I thought you say didn’t use bumper car? No, I didn’t. I didn’t want to Natty Bumpercar 6:36 Yeah, so Hey, everybody, I’m legal name. And I’m a superduper liberal leaf. And it was like I got laughs and claps right off the bat. I was trying to set the tone set the tenor for my three Aloysius J. Pig 6:47 minutes. You got laughs like, first line, like that’s what you’re supposed to do. He’s supposed to get on stage and just hit immediately. We learned that in in the art clubs. They don’t like you to monkey around. Natty Bumpercar 6:57 They just want you to get up, boom, get a laugh and then roll with it. Yes, yes, yes. Just Yes, exactly. And I was in my head. I was even like, Man, I wish I could do this at a comedy show. But anyway, so then I go into my speech and I had written a nice speech. And it was all about kind of inclusion and diversity in the importance of experiences and that your perspectives in life are they only grow the more experiences that you have and the more you know, other kind of people that you get to hang out with that aren’t just you you don’t want to live in this homogenous little bowl like you want to throw some yummy stuff in it like if we’re a salad. You don’t want to just have celery in there that’s not a good salad like maybe let’s throw some onions and some tomato Rufus T. Rufus 7:47 peppers a Okay. Are you hungry? Because right now you’re making me starving like I can barely stand how hungry I become just listening to your salad. Aloysius J. Pig 7:56 And that led now I’m curious now I your salad thing sounds fine, but I don’t love salad was can we do this with pizza? Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. Okay, so like, I we just want plain pizza pie? Or do you want to start adding stuff on to it? Like maybe some parmesan? Some Natty Bumpercar 8:15 reggiano cheese. Yeah, of course. And then you can like, you know, you can go crazy. Like, look at me, I’m throwing black olives and pepperoni and mushrooms. Yeah, my meatballs. I mean, you can, the more stuff. I mean, you hit a guess you do hit a limit at some point. But like, the more stuff you put on a pizza, the better the meat is gonna be. Same thing happens in life, the more stuff you throw into life, the better off cuz you’re gonna have a better tasting life, then maybe I messed it up. Rufus T. Rufus 8:43 I think we need to workshop this a little bit. And maybe we can this can be your TED talk when you get up and you’re like, life is like a pizza pie. And the more toppings you put on it, the better renews, but then you’re going to get you know, some naysayers are gonna say Oh, but if you put too many vegetables on there, then it’s gonna make too much liquid and you’re gonna make the pizza soggy. And then people you know, depend on spicy sauce, or do you just want a sweeter sauce? Aloysius J. Pig 9:09 Yeah, honestly, it’s the sweet sauce where they put the sugar and I don’t like that. It freaks me out. I’m like, I want my tomatoes to be Natty Bumpercar 9:16 robots. Yeah, me too. Anyway, so I gave my speech. And the it happened to be the same woman who had said the superduper liberal elites had also said something about Martin Luther King and she’d made a quote, but then her little her speech, her talk, kind of veered away from what I feel Martin Luther King was his his true direction, his true feelings. And I randomly had an MLK tweet in my speech as well. And so I just acknowledged that we were both quoting Martin Luther King, but maybe from different perspectives, right. And then the third thing that I did was I kind of sent to the crowd. I said three things I said one thing was, if you’re because there are people who said they want to teach their kids at home, and I said, if you want to do that, that’s great. Start by teaching them empathy. Rufus T. Rufus 10:13 Now the textbooks for that, and it kind of worksheets or anything, you just Natty Bumpercar 10:17 teach them to acknowledge other people’s feelings and other people’s experiences, you know, they’re good, and they’re bad, the suffering and you know, the highs and the lows, you, you are acknowledging and accepting and just understanding people’s feelings and emotions. Because we live in a society. Rufus T. Rufus 10:36 It’s something that I believe we still Yeah, Natty Bumpercar 10:39 yeah. And so also like, I forget what else but then I said something about the prior meeting, where they were heckling, and being mean to the teenagers who were giving their presentation. And a woman yelled out, don’t shame the parents. And I turned and I said, the parents were the ones who were doing this, you were the ones who were responsible for yourselves for saying mean things to children. And then I turned back to the POV, because someone else has done this earlier in the meeting. And I said, Can I have my time back? no joking. You know, trying to lighten the mood. It was a very tense room. And then, you know, the meeting happened and it ended and at the end, something that’s never happened to me in my life. A big group of people will say like six people or so gathered around the people that I was with and me in particular, and got all up in my grill all up in my face and started threatening me Rufus T. Rufus 11:35 tart me Do you right? It is illegal activity. Do you do need representation because you know that I’m always willing and able, of course, Natty Bumpercar 11:44 that’s the thing. I actually had to go to the police and like file a police report because it was just so bananas. It was I had to wait inside for like 20 minutes. They pulled me onto the stage because they were worried for my safety. And then they had to escort me to the car. It was not speaking of not a robot you sound younger, you’re like young robot now. Doodle Poodle Did you consider making a drawing for the meeting? People are visual learners. Rufus T. Rufus 12:25 You know, the dog does have a point there. Yeah, Natty Bumpercar 12:27 he really does. But no, I didn’t consider that Hi, doodle poodle, by the way. But anything, everything’s okay for now. But be kind be nice to everybody. Okay. The 400th episode of the bumper pod guy. Aloysius J. Pig 12:40 Why are you yelling? What just happened? I just I thought the episode was ending. And so you know, usually we just kind of end on that like, in like, Natty Bumpercar 12:47 I don’t know, I don’t know, I Rufus T. Rufus 12:48 got confused. I’m sorry. Well, now, I want to say I’m proud of you. And I’m happy for you. And you know, you got to keep fighting the good fight standing up for people getting your foot into the door making good trouble, you know, Natty Bumpercar 13:00 yeah. Thank you. And I appreciate that. No, but it was it was a really hard week. It was really a couple of weeks. It’s been just mentally to think about Aloysius J. Pig 13:08 it. Yeah. And how did the kids take we didn’t tell them because we don’t want Natty Bumpercar 13:11 them to worry. But what I just said mentally as far as going through it. It also shone a light on me of other people’s experiences that they go through this stuff every day, and I just got to taste and we got to make the world a better place for you and for me and for everybody. Okay, let’s do that. Outro 13:43 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius JPG Rufus t Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar we also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar comm slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts. See you soon. Unknown Speaker 15:06 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but asked before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container] -
Bumperpodcast #399 – Season 2 – Camps
Natty has been to three camps in the last week to tell the jokes. It has been quite an adventure. Quite an adventure! The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ hover_colors=” hover_background_color=” hover_font_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=” sc_version=’1.0′] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=” sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:03 Hey everybody, it’s me Natty Bumpercar. And and and I want to let you know that we’re only three episodes away from our 400th episode, wait, including today, it might be 297 9899 and then 400 Whoa. And so we want to do something super special for the 400th episode. So what I’ve done is I’ve written a an intro, and it’s like a song type of thing. And I sent it out to a bunch of people. And I was just like, hey, just you can read this or you can sing it or whatever. And here’s the thing. I was wondering if you would want to be part of the intro to if you do, just find me at Natty Bumpercar on Twitter and send me a message. And then I’ll send you the script for the intro. And then I’ll put it all together. And then maybe you can be part of something that’s pretty cool. At least I think it’s pretty cool. I think it’s pretty special. Pretty super special. Just like you. Come on. Let’s do it. What’s going on everybody? It’s me. Natty. Natty. Natty. He is Natty Bumpercar. And I’m thrilled to be with you here today because I’ve got an amazing story. A phenomenal story. Something that same Aloysius J. Pig 1:23 Natty, What’s your story? Well, you can get to it soon, I’m sure. But before you get to it, I had a pretty cool story is well, Natty Bumpercar 1:31 that’s great pig. But this like, I really want to share this story. And I kind of thought this was just going to be one of those like Bumpercar tells a story kind of episode. Rufus T. Rufus 1:40 That would be unfortunate and indiscriminate as I also have a couple I actually have several 123 if you have two now that’s a couple. Right? And three, what is that several as several stories that I wanted to impart upon two days. Okay, my podcast. Natty Bumpercar 2:00 I don’t think that I really don’t think we have time because I wanted to help my I have one story and I was super excited about telling it and so maybe can we can I can I just tell my story? Aloysius J. Pig 2:13 Yes. So wait. So now you’re saying that nobody else gets to tell a story. It’s gonna be all you the whole time. Rufus T. Rufus 2:20 You know, I had three scores, and I wanted to tell it as all the truth, truth and if so facto. Okay, think of the word. Natty Bumpercar 2:34 But guys, you’re just speaking gibberish. I just, we’re already, like, almost three minutes in and I want to tell my story. And so how about I’ll tell my story, then pig, you can tell your story. And then Rufus, if we can, you can tell as many stories as you want with the time that we have left. Aloysius J. Pig 2:51 I mean, that seems okay to me is whatever I don’t want even I don’t even want to fire energy. Rufus T. Rufus 2:56 I’m gaining the fuel gauge. Okay, so let’s, let’s proceed. Natty Bumpercar 3:00 Okay, great. So in taking care of time, we had a yard sale last weekend. In the morning, I got up and I moved the car around the corner so that there’ll be more room in the driveway for the stuff. And when I moved the car was like 730 in the morning. There was a mama duck. And she was gray. And she had this bright blue stripe on her. And she was standing there with with with five little ducklings, right right on the corner. And so I got out, but Lily said it was a mother’s a duck. She’s like a mom. There was a mama and five little ducklings and they were standing on the corner. Aloysius J. Pig 3:39 And so your story’s about ducks. Natty Bumpercar 3:41 Yeah, why I don’t like that’s the name of the episode is lucky ducks and so yeah. Aloysius J. Pig 3:47 Okay, whatever I don’t care about and I’ve never read the title. But the thing is, my story is also about ducks. Natty Bumpercar 3:54 Really? Okay, what is yours? Aloysius J. Pig 3:56 Yeah. So I’m walking down by Dr. stream. And there’s some ducks around doing duck things. quacking swimming, whatnot. And all of a sudden this mama doc runs over. She’s got some little baby ducks winner. Right. And she’s freaked out. Okay. Natty Bumpercar 4:16 Oh, okay. Well, this is interesting, because I think I know why she was Rufus T. Rufus 4:20 now hold on one second as your legal representation here not a Rufus T. Rufus and telling you not to say another word. I believe that this is being recorded somehow, somewhere some ways somehow. I did that twice. But so I would say do not implicate yourself if you if you consider yourself happy as a free man, Natty Bumpercar 4:43 obviously happy as a free man. But I’m not going to implicate myself because I didn’t do anything wrong. So pig. I think what happened was, so I saw the ducks, I took their picture, and I was gonna show it to the kids. And then she wandered off right and the little ducklings followed Her but then I still heard this like, all around me. It was baby ducks. And I was looking around everywhere. And, Aloysius J. Pig 5:13 and I know and they had fallen into the sewer great Is this what is this true? This is what she was saying she was saying to all the ducks, she was like, ducks, ducks, we gotta go save my babies they fell down into. She didn’t say super great because she said metal hole is what she said. Natty Bumpercar 5:31 Yeah, so that’s exactly what happened. I looked down. And there were I think I counted like six baby tiny little ducklings. And they were stuck down in the sewer. And then I lay down. And I saw I tried to see if I could get my arm in there to get them but there wasn’t enough space. And so then I Rufus T. Rufus 5:48 hold on one second because this was right around when I would have received a phone call woke me up out of my slumber, my beauty sleep. And it was a mama duck and she was honking and squawking about the greats, the metal holes. She said, this town, my babies, I need help. I need representation. And I said, Ma’am, I will be there. Sweet. Aloysius J. Pig 6:15 So I saw her on the phone. When she was she was talking all the ducks to get them to help but nobody could help because you know, where’s it gonna go? And then she said she was on the telephone. And so she must have been talking to you because then she scooped up all her babies. And she ran off. She said, I gotta I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go. Natty Bumpercar 6:34 Don’t go. No, I’m just kidding. So here’s the thing. I called home because I was about a block and a half away. And I was like, here’s a situation. It’s a very serious situation, get over here with the kids. And then while they were coming over, actually called the police. And they sent over three cars to help. Rufus T. Rufus 6:58 That’s interesting to me because I actually met mama duck at the police station and there were no cars there. There wasn’t there was no one that to help us. They said they also said they are often very important business and they would not tell me what was going on. Aloysius J. Pig 7:14 So in and I’m still over by the string with the ducks. And we actually got out some we were going to we were drawn up on paper some plans to see how we could figure out how to get the dogs out and there was we thought your ducks are not great planets. Okay, don’t I’m not besmirching. But from my experience my own personal experience, ducks. Not so great. Natty Bumpercar 7:37 Okay, well, so what I said the police came, and I had, I was able to lift the great, like, maybe a half an inch up, but it was really heavy. And so these guys, they were giant, they were really big. And they came and they, you know, they’re looking at it, they’re like, oh, we’re gonna call the town that you know, they’re gonna have to bring over a tractor to lift this and also and I was just like, Guys, I’m scrawny, I was able to lift it a bit, I think that you can do it. And they got these tools out. And we figured out the physics of where the fulcrum where you should put the thing to pull the things you can get down in there. And it was like a 45 minute ordeal. And the thing was, there were two pipes under the street. There’s one under the whole street, and then one smaller one. And what they would do is they would run back and forth so we had to take off two grades, and they would just ppppp in there would you get him get quieter as they were going under the street. And you’re like oh the ran over that way. And and we even like that we put like a something into the great to kind of like make them make the decision to come closer towards and they finally did. And while we were getting the ducks, we realized, wait, we gotta have somewhere to put these ducks. So I ran home and I got a little container. And it was so funny because my kid he grabbed like, like, a little sauce pot like small and I was like what do you that’s, that’s big enough for one duck. We got 767 ducks over there. Rufus T. Rufus 9:09 I want to make sure he was not grabbing a sauce bought for any other reason. I’m just gonna make a notation here. Okay, Aloysius J. Pig 9:17 real fancy doing okay, your voice got a little grizzled. Rufus T. Rufus 9:20 I’m just worried about the duck lenses all you understand. Natty Bumpercar 9:25 He wasn’t gonna do anything the ducks. But we brought a bigger container. We put them in there. I brought a towel because they kept hopping out Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop. And we eventually got all the ducklings Hooray. It was a big deal. In the process, one of the ducklings had jumped out and run under a bush. And so that was a big deal. And I thought that they had gotten that duck. So then I carried all of them over. The police and I we made a parade across the street. And I went to where I had seen the mama duck kind of go early exit down by the Double string riveting, huh? Yeah, yeah. And so we went there was this house that someone had bought and they were doing work on it so there was no one there. So we went down that driveway and at the end of the driveway It was like this crazy hedge that someone had cut a an entrance into it but it was all it wasn’t like a nice It was like all the draggled and scary and like Narnia and bad times and then we got back there and there’s this like dilapidated shed house and a tree and fall and there was a bridge over the steel was a lot to take this Rufus T. Rufus 10:34 and there was a tree that had fallen. I wonder if I can litigate that situation for them. Did you get the no address for me? Sir? Natty Bumpercar 10:42 Of course I didn’t. I didn’t. That’s not the first thing that I think of it’s not even like the fifth thing I think of if I’m gonna be completely Aloysius J. Pig 10:48 alright settled down bump a guy that’s you don’t need to be mean. All right, just tell you that story. Natty Bumpercar 10:52 Yeah. So all ducks saved. And we I walked over the bridge around ended up getting poison ivy Ray, and went to the edge of the of the little stream. And to the right of us into the leftover series. There was a lot of ducks, I would say about 2030 ducks. And my my family were worried they were like, well, I don’t see the mom do you? And I was like, Listen, I’m sure one of these ducks knows mama duck. And she’s gonna relay the information to where they are to her that you know the babies are here. So we just kind of took the container over and all the ducklings they just hopped out. And it was the cute like it was so and then here’s the fun thing. Like they could walk right? But they also they just hopped right in the water and they started swimming. And it was like, just like, I was like, look at you guys with your swimming. Aloysius J. Pig 11:49 All right. So any Did you have any other like, debts your whole story? Natty Bumpercar 11:54 You know? No. So then later in the day after the yard sale, our neighbor had somebody who bought something from us was a blender and she didn’t know how to use a blender and she was asking me how to use the blender. And so I went over and I was trying to show her Now bear in mind she had bought this blender for $3 which in my mind at a yard sale. If you buy something for $3 and you take it away, the transaction is done. I’m not I’m not your tech support. I’m not I don’t have to explain how the blender works. It’s a blender, but I went over to show her. I’m standing on the stairs and I looked down I heard PPP. I looked down and went Oh, and then she looked down and screamed. It was one it was a baby duckling. And when she yelled he ran around the house to move and baby ducklings gonna run really quick and the dogs barking Can you contain them? Rufus T. Rufus 12:43 I am not on doggy duty I cannot those dogs, they are more than I can handle back to you Bumpercar Natty Bumpercar 12:51 So I ran around he kind of fell into this little hole like some stairs so I was able to wrangle him and then I held them close to my heart and he calmed down and then we walked back over across the street through the same place and and I just kind of gently had put him down on the ground and he went PPP down some rocks and then he hopped into the stream and then he just swam away. It was the cutest seller. Aloysius J. Pig 13:20 I think in between those times duck save in one and duck save the dough. I was no longer down at the creek I go 100 take a nap if I’m to be completely honest. And huh so odds are two stories were the same story just from different perspectives Rufus T. Rufus 13:36 here now and and sounds like one of my stores was also tied up as mama duck. And just so you know, we did come back she and I to the correct and we found no babies so she was reunited and I but she was still missing that one. So I hope that he got back to you because that’s that’s that sounds like a beautiful story. Natty Bumpercar 14:00 See, at the beginning of the episode, we were all fighting over who’s gonna tell our stories and it sounds like my story and pig story and Rufus. His story. were all the same. So they were all tied together. Aloysius J. Pig 14:09 I think he had three stories. Natty Bumpercar 14:12 Yeah, yep. Yep. Yep. I was kind of hoping that we managed to avoid that. But sure. Rufus. Do you have other stories? Rufus T. Rufus 14:18 I do. I do. I do. Both of my other stories they really rely on circumnavigate around the grocery store where I went and I was looking for some peanut butter. But I have since discovered that I’ve got a bit of a peanut butter allergy. And then but I do miss very much peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And then I cannot tell you that they have invented a peanut free peanut butter is what it’s called, is it could just be called butter I suppose. But I got it and it’s delicious and just thrilled to be here. back in the saddle back in the peanut butter and jelly sandwich said all right, Natty Bumpercar 15:04 well, I’m thrilled at you. Good job. Um, that makes me happy. So that’s two stories. We’re already running late. So what’s your last story? Rufus T. Rufus 15:13 Well, it all began when I was a child growing up in the woods Aloysius J. Pig 15:19 now the mount can’t do it. Nope, nope. Nope. Any story that starts off when I when I was a kid, I am out maybe other episodes. Yeah, kid. Natty Bumpercar 15:28 We can’t sorry. Rufus That’s weird. Yeah, maybe maybe you can have your own episode coming up at some point, but probably not. We’ll see. Alright, everybody. I hope the little ducklings are listening. We save your lives. Yay. Outro 15:56 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous things a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius JPG Rufus t Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar we also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar comm slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts. See you soon. NonPro 17:19 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license please share it but asked before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]