Producer 0:05
Hello it’s me producer Eric and then here in the banter podcast, and today we’re going to play a new game. We’re gonna clean this right?

Natty Bumpercar 0:14
Hey, hey, hey producer What’s going on? This is some wacky little music because there’s no I think all right, whatever. Hey everybody thanks producer I’m just gonna take it from here if you don’t mind

Producer 0:26
totally, totally fine it’s your show and I’m just sharing just a frog over here in the pushing the buttons and doing the things and you know

Rufus T. Rufus 0:39
now it’s it’s it’s it hold on one second. I got a little slow take on it. It Yeah. Night is Rufus my sound okay. All right. It is Rufus T. Rufus here and, producer. If you have a need to work on your contract, then of course, you know, who really who is to work with contact to in practice and who to interact with jack that would be all right.

Natty Bumpercar 1:10
Hey, Rufus. So anyway, now it’s me Natty Bumpercar. And we’ve had a weird couple of weeks last week we talked about sad stuff the week before that was kind of sad when so now we’ve got this weird dude who did doo dee doo dee doo doo doo doo doo music that is I guess supposed to be happy. I don’t know who made this.

Doodle Poodle 1:33
Hi, Natty, it’s me. Doodle Poodle. make music I like to make things. And sometimes people say that music notes look like drawings on pages.

Aloysius J. Pig 1:56
Like, yeah, Natty. I don’t know. Like, what you’re two minutes into the episode. Who’s here so far? We got that. Rufus t roll fish over there. I think doodle portal we just heard produce show at yummy. I heard your talk for a second now. I’ll be Halloween. Yes. Well, what’s this episode about? anyway? That’s

Natty Bumpercar 2:18
a great question. So this episode, so I haven’t been catching you guys up. I had three comedy shows last week, three night after night after night. And it was so much fun. But here’s the craziest thing that happened at one of them. It was an hour away. And I was so stressed out because there was a lot of traffic and I was supposed to get there at 645 No, wait. 630 I don’t know. But I was getting there at seven. And I was really nervous. And it was at a country club which is like a big golf course like a big fancy rich people golf course. And the way my map took me it took me past the main entrance which I didn’t even notice because I was so insanely late. You’re like my brain was like, Nah, and I wasn’t literally in through the back. I’ll wait to the back. Who am I was just gonna say oh, you bright? Well

Aloysius J. Pig 3:15
you looped yellow.

Rufus T. Rufus 3:16
Now hold on a second. If someone’s going to be looping looping today. I need to know about that. Because I’m gonna have to get the human resources department up and yeah, and and actuate some, some external Sam systems. No, I don’t even but I know it’s gonna be a situation.

Natty Bumpercar 3:37
Great to know, no one was loop de loop. Everyone was fine. I was just, I was I was in such a rush. I wasn’t super paying attention. And then when it took me into the back, like there was a giant barn. And this big, big, big, big, big mountain of what it is that’s mulch and stuff. And I was like this and tractors were tractors, too. And I was like, well, this, this doesn’t seem this is this is weird. This isn’t a normal entrance to a big ritzy golf course. But you know, it makes if this is the way the blue line is pointing me then I guess this is the way I go. So I came in when behind or pass the barn around the hill of mulch. And then there were two roads, one to the left one to the right. The one to the left was overgrown and gravel. The one to the right, looked like it was kind of more of a road. And so I was like, Oh, well, clearly it’s the one to the right. And I started going that way and then the map was like, This isn’t the way you want to go. You want to go down this scary gravel road. And so I pulled back and I started going down that road. Now

Rufus T. Rufus 4:43
I’m wondering as a lawyer of the law of the ball system, if I am going to have to recuse myself from the rest of this podcast as I don’t want to be implicated or infatuated. Or a regulated by whatever information you’re going to put out if I have to represent you Natty Bumpercar in a court of law then I don’t want to have let’s say split different

Natty Bumpercar 5:16
split I don’t think you’re gonna have split differences from this situation but maybe you will

Producer 5:25
I don’t know Natalie one time I went to a family reunion and the swamp inland we had several split differences that we still had to go to the doctor to diet and diet family frog family therapy to talk about with these split differences it’s been very difficult around the swamp I’ve taken to look at people I can talk to people I can do anything you know, and normally as frogs are very close in the family voted to recursively split rooms is very very difficult.

Aloysius J. Pig 6:01
I’m pretty sure that split differences isn’t even a thing and it’s one of the one of the things that rolfers shows and we don’t as we talked about in the meeting for the podcast. Whenever robots or any of us you mostly say these ridiculous things. We don’t then have to respond to them as if they’re true or real. Okay, so if if Rufus is like are you gonna pay me in putting this week we don’t you don’t have to respond to that did they say I’m gonna pay you or I just to smile and walk away you could just smile that’s fine. Because what happens is we start to to simulate these things split differences in the bad case people listening they’re driving that do whatever they’re doing, they’re on their walks, maybe eating a scone I’m so hungry right now. But they hear these things and then they hear us continue to talk about them for a long time and they’re like Oh, do I do I need to learn about split differs? No, you don’t because? jibberish So anyway, yeah, I

Natty Bumpercar 7:06
agree. Bumpercar Yeah,

Aloysius J. Pig 7:07
were you trespassing I think that’s one of the fears Yeah, I

Natty Bumpercar 7:10
don’t think I was I mean like because the map I mean, this isn’t my defense but like the map took me to this road and it took me behind the barn and so once I couldn’t go down the the seemingly more rodie Road is how I’m going to describe it and I had to go down this scary road right and it was like there was an overgrown like but like there were bushes like really close in and it was basically the width of the car like it was a tiny little road and I was again my brain was just like red flag doesn’t seem right. But I kept going and about a minute and a half in as I’m driving and it’s dark like really dark headlight it’s night everything I start looking around and I’m like well okay, I’m on this little road I’m just gonna go really slow and huh I’m right in the middle of the the golf course. Right in the middle of Zetas sand trap is this a hill like I’m in the Oh gosh, I think I might be on a golf cart path I think I might be driving on the golf golf car path in my car to this show to this benefit oh my gosh, what am I going to get and then

Rufus T. Rufus 8:23
you’re going to get in big trouble because I’m looking over your insurance paperwork here and for the vehicle and nowhere does it state that you are allowed to be operating machinery upon the the links the golf course the greens the the the driving range though you know all these things. The front peg the back I don’t the whole the flag I don’t know a lot of stuff about golf courses. I’m just kind of rattling some stuff off You understand? But yeah, you clearly were against the grain this

Natty Bumpercar 9:02
time I was against the grain I don’t care but like I was so nervous like I was freaking out because like I was at a point where I couldn’t back out because the road was just too tiny and I was I was like looking I put it in reverse and you have a little camera and the camera was just like I don’t I don’t think you should do it man. And I was like okay, so I’m just gonna keep going forward. And then out of nowhere this golf cart was on the garden it was flying at me like coming very fast.

Aloysius J. Pig 9:34
Was it like a police golf cart? Do they have those didn’t have like lights? Was it like this is a golf cart police. Were gonna talk to you. I don’t know it wasn’t like that.

Natty Bumpercar 9:46
I know it wasn’t like that. But I do appreciate the care as one reference there. So now but it was it was just a guy in a golf cart and coming at me real fast and my window was still Cuz he kind of appeared and came over to me quickly and he was yelling at me and I threw the glass in the car still running. And it wasn’t driving, but it was and I was just like, Hmm, I put up the hold on a second sign the with the finger like, excuse me, one second. I’m, I’m working on

Producer 10:18
this. And by working on this, you mean you were working on making the window go down, it doesn’t really work and you push a button and goes down. It’s automatic.

Natty Bumpercar 10:28
Yeah, fine. But I was just I was kind of freaked out. And it took me a second to push the button and it went down. And the guy was in mid yell, but the gist of what he was saying was, what are you doing here? You’re driving on the golf course. And I was like, oh, but a guy was me being nauseous. And I was like, I didn’t the road. And I pointed started pointing at the screen, you know, in my car. And I was like map, blue the line. Because here’s the thing. Google Maps, like, they drive cars around. I wasn’t supposed to say which map it was it was Google Maps. But they they have cars to drive around with sensors and cameras and whatnot, that map the roads. But the golf cart, lead lane, I’ll call it that little road was was mapped. So how is that even possible? That I’m I’m on a mapped road, but it’s a golf cart road. And I was trying to explain and he didn’t he didn’t really want to care for me. He didn’t really care. He was just like, follow me, you know, okay. And so I very slowly, like he got in front of me, and he’s driving, and I’m following. And then we get to a fork in the road left or right. And he kind of pulls off and I pull next to him. And he was like, go that way and now he’s just like, okay, and he’s like, why are you even here? I was like, this is it. This is my least favorite thing. I just like I’m I’m the I’m a comedian. I mean, no, you never want to own the comedian. I’m here to make people laugh. And he was like, home park right there. Like he’s yelling at me. And I don’t blame him. If he if it’s his golf course. And I’m driving on it. I would be upset too. But tonight I parked and then I made my way in and I was late to so that freaked me out. And then I got inside and I was setting everything up my microphone and everything. And yeah, and then the show happened.

Rufus T. Rufus 12:35
The show happened did they lead you off after the show in handcuffs? Were you in country club? the brig the jail and whatever you under the staff

Natty Bumpercar 12:49
know that. I mean, actually, honestly, they fed me. I did the show. It went fine. It wasn’t the best show, but it was fine. And I even told him this story thinking like, Oh, you guys are not gonna believe what happened to me tonight. And they were like, tell your jokes, silly man. And it was fine. It was great. It was fun. And then so I had that show. And I think that’s probably one of my favorite comedy memories that I can remember certainly because it was just so silly. I was just like this is such a me thing. That has just happened I’m on a golf course.

Why Why does this happen to me?

Aloysius J. Pig 13:28
You think it’s because the universe is out to get you

Natty Bumpercar 13:31
know like Is that a thing is that is that real

Producer 13:33
route doing frog if I’m brand friendly there are some rules about such things and you know so it’s possible that mandanna things yes the dots to get to but you know it’s you do what you do man you could just can’t okay, right? Okay,

Rufus T. Rufus 13:53
I know why y’all make fun of me sometimes because I’m livid and bla bla and talk a little bit of gibberish but that frog today and lick assume I agree

Aloysius J. Pig 14:02
wholeheartedly. He does he’s why he’s more of a like behind the scenes behind the board. He’s a button pusher and that’s fine. There’s no prominent there’s no issue really your great producer at what you do, which is produce unicorn. Yeah, well, hey,

Natty Bumpercar 14:18
listen, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. My silly golf course story. I’m so happy that the bumper podcast is back to being silly. Maybe next week, I’ll tell you about how I got in a fight with the town council of my town and had to start an arts organization and arts Alliance if you will, or I can give you a progress report on the studio build out we’re hopefully we’re going to have some soundproofing so I don’t have to listen to banjo barking and big motorcycles going by anyway, bumper, Bond casket tears, you know what you are? Of course you do. You’re the bass

Outro 15:05
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com. forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded, mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius JPG Rufus t Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar we also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar comm slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts See you soon.

NonPro 16:25
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license please share it but asked before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com