Natty goes to an event in his town to talk, and the results are less than awesome.
The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
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Natty Bumpercar 0:00
Hello, bumper podcast. It’s me Natty Bumpercar and before big episode and this is a big episode because it’s number 400, which is huge. I just wanted to say a couple things. I’m sorry that we’re in our August doldrums. What are those? Well, late summer it seems that I’ll record an episode and then a couple of weeks will go by with no episode and that’s where we are. add on top of that, that I wanted to have a super special thing happened for Episode 400. It didn’t, but that’s okay, cuz it’ll happen soon enough. So anyway, strap in, get ready, get your bottle, your Baba, your whatever, whatever you do to listen to this show and get ready because here we go. It’s Episode 400 of the bumper badass.
What’s going on bumper podcast? It’s me Natty Bumpercar. I’m so happy. It’s the 400th episode. So what we were going to do was we’re going to make a new intro and we’re still working on that because that’s how things work. I get big ideas and then sometimes I can’t do them. Also, I’ve been insanely busy because Hey, guys, oh, hey, Bumpercar Hey, not much. I’m just hanging out. This is the 400th episode. I’m so glad that you guys did you guys bring me flowers. Now.
Rufus T. Rufus 1:12
We have one wanted it to be a very special episode. Very special bumper crop. What’s it called again?
Aloysius J. Pig 1:19
It’s a bumper podcast. He’s like his name. Natty. Bumpercar. So bumper pod Bumper To Bumper Car podcast? No,
Natty Bumpercar 1:28
it’s the bumper podcast. It’s just it’s like bumper car. But you take off the car bumper, and then you put podcast and you squish them together. So podcasts are fun. Natty Bumpercar is fun. So you squish them together. And you get podcast or copper.
Rufus T. Rufus 1:44
Yeah, no, I think you did it back. But okay. I just wanna make sure
Doodle Poodle 1:47
yeah, yeah, so a bumper podcast. But also I’ve been super busy.
Aloysius J. Pig 1:51
are we calling napping busy? Because I’ve seen you sleeping a lot lately.
Natty Bumpercar 1:54
You watch what? Watch me sleep. We’re
Rufus T. Rufus 1:57
not we don’t. I mean, we have a monitor in your room. And we also have one of those things on the mattress, like, you know, they have in a baby’s crib, just to make sure that everything is all right.
Natty Bumpercar 2:08
Why do you have those things I don’t understand?
Aloysius J. Pig 2:10
Well, it’s because you know, like you said, this is a 400th episode, the whole thing is kind of wrapped around you bumper car. And so we figure we’re too deep in at this point, to be able to switch things up very well. So we just want to protect you. All right,
Natty Bumpercar 2:26
I appreciate that. Um, while I was speaking of protecting me, this is one of the things that’s kept me so incredibly busy. So a few weeks ago, in my town, there was a BOE meeting, which is Board of Education Board of Ed. And and these are people that are like elected to, I guess, help the schools get stuff done and whatever. And, and so they sit on a stage, and I don’t there’s like, I don’t know, 1000 of them, there’s a lot of them, there’s not 1000. And they go through all their little notes. And then they they like handed over to the crowd, and everybody gets three
Rufus T. Rufus 3:02
minutes, three minutes. That’s more microphone time than you’re going to get in any New York City. Open Mic
Aloysius J. Pig 3:09
isn’t a it’s more than an open mic. But it’s even more than a lot of bring us because if you don’t bring enough people, then they ain’t gonna give you your full five. So three minutes is good. How’d you do? No, I
Natty Bumpercar 3:20
well. So it’s crazy, because I got up and I was I was number like, 21 on the list. There were 21 other people in front of
Rufus T. Rufus 3:29
me. Oh, no. So this is more like a showcase situation where you just kind of have a host? How do they do that?
Aloysius J. Pig 3:36
Is it like a name out of a hat type of situation? Like, oh, you’re next?
Natty Bumpercar 3:40
No, no, no, no, they had a list and they just kind of went down the list. And they would call out names. And
Rufus T. Rufus 3:47
so legally, what did you use? Bumpercar? Because if you did, we’re gonna have to file some legal documents, probably just because that’s supposed to be a stage where you want to stay now
Natty Bumpercar 3:58
I wasn’t representing the company. Don’t worry. I used the the other name that no one speaks of. But here’s it so I get up. And it’s been a little contentious through the course of the night. What is
Aloysius J. Pig 4:12
what is content content? content?
Rufus T. Rufus 4:15
It sounds a little bit like a pasta like, excuse me a waiter? Do you have content to sound on the menu tonight as a special I’d like a big plate of
Natty Bumpercar 4:27
content. Now. It’s so contentious means people were kind of arguing a little bit. And and that was one of the reasons that I even felt like I had to go and talk to some friends of mine. We had seen what has happened at the previous meeting, where there were groups of high school kids who were giving a presentation on LGBTQ rights and their experiences. And there were parents in the audience who actually heckled them who got up and like that kind of stuff to kid
Rufus T. Rufus 4:59
on You know, I do not appreciate that type of rabble. That type of bluster. Don’t send them booing children. I don’t. I don’t like that one bit.
Aloysius J. Pig 5:12
Yeah, that sounds terrible. Like what kind of happened? It doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s
Natty Bumpercar 5:18
really it’s terrible. Yeah. And so like, I was watching that virtually on the computer. And I was just like, I can’t let those people be the only ones who are getting the chance to talk. Like, I feel like, I’m pretty okay. Talk on a microphone. Well,
Rufus T. Rufus 5:33
I mean, you did buy all these microphones. So I mean, I don’t know if you’re good, necessarily. But you certainly know how to. I mean, you speak. So that’s acceptable as well. Yeah. Next time,
Aloysius J. Pig 5:43
if you want somebody who’s really versed in the microphone, maybe you should send me Okay, bro. I’ll go out and I’ll do that things. And I’ll say some words, and then everybody will sing around.
Natty Bumpercar 5:55
Me mean, yeah, I know you are really good at the microphone. But I don’t, I don’t think you would have wanted to do this. I. So I get up. And there was a person earlier who was speaking and she said that she said this phrase a couple of times. And I show then I jokingly when I went up and she was making fun of the other people. She called everyone super duper, super duper liberal elites. And she made you know, she was mocking people. And so when I got up, I was just like, Hey, everybody, my name is Natty Bumpercar. And
Rufus T. Rufus 6:31
I thought you say didn’t use bumper car? No, I didn’t. I didn’t want to
Natty Bumpercar 6:36
Yeah, so Hey, everybody, I’m legal name. And I’m a superduper liberal leaf. And it was like I got laughs and claps right off the bat. I was trying to set the tone set the tenor for my three
Aloysius J. Pig 6:47
minutes. You got laughs like, first line, like that’s what you’re supposed to do. He’s supposed to get on stage and just hit immediately. We learned that in in the art clubs. They don’t like you to monkey around.
Natty Bumpercar 6:57
They just want you to get up, boom, get a laugh and then roll with it. Yes, yes, yes. Just Yes, exactly. And I was in my head. I was even like, Man, I wish I could do this at a comedy show. But anyway, so then I go into my speech and I had written a nice speech. And it was all about kind of inclusion and diversity in the importance of experiences and that your perspectives in life are they only grow the more experiences that you have and the more you know, other kind of people that you get to hang out with that aren’t just you you don’t want to live in this homogenous little bowl like you want to throw some yummy stuff in it like if we’re a salad. You don’t want to just have celery in there that’s not a good salad like maybe let’s throw some onions and some tomato
Rufus T. Rufus 7:47
peppers a Okay. Are you hungry? Because right now you’re making me starving like I can barely stand how hungry I become just listening to your salad.
Aloysius J. Pig 7:56
And that led now I’m curious now I your salad thing sounds fine, but I don’t love salad was can we do this with pizza? Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. Okay, so like, I we just want plain pizza pie? Or do you want to start adding stuff on to it? Like maybe some parmesan? Some
Natty Bumpercar 8:15
reggiano cheese. Yeah, of course. And then you can like, you know, you can go crazy. Like, look at me, I’m throwing black olives and pepperoni and mushrooms. Yeah, my meatballs. I mean, you can, the more stuff. I mean, you hit a guess you do hit a limit at some point. But like, the more stuff you put on a pizza, the better the meat is gonna be. Same thing happens in life, the more stuff you throw into life, the better off cuz you’re gonna have a better tasting life, then maybe I messed it up.
Rufus T. Rufus 8:43
I think we need to workshop this a little bit. And maybe we can this can be your TED talk when you get up and you’re like, life is like a pizza pie. And the more toppings you put on it, the better renews, but then you’re going to get you know, some naysayers are gonna say Oh, but if you put too many vegetables on there, then it’s gonna make too much liquid and you’re gonna make the pizza soggy. And then people you know, depend on spicy sauce, or do you just want a sweeter sauce?
Aloysius J. Pig 9:09
Yeah, honestly, it’s the sweet sauce where they put the sugar and I don’t like that. It freaks me out. I’m like, I want my tomatoes to be
Natty Bumpercar 9:16
robots. Yeah, me too. Anyway, so I gave my speech. And the it happened to be the same woman who had said the superduper liberal elites had also said something about Martin Luther King and she’d made a quote, but then her little her speech, her talk, kind of veered away from what I feel Martin Luther King was his his true direction, his true feelings. And I randomly had an MLK tweet in my speech as well. And so I just acknowledged that we were both quoting Martin Luther King, but maybe from different perspectives, right. And then the third thing that I did was I kind of sent to the crowd. I said three things I said one thing was, if you’re because there are people who said they want to teach their kids at home, and I said, if you want to do that, that’s great. Start by teaching them empathy.
Rufus T. Rufus 10:13
Now the textbooks for that, and it kind of worksheets or anything, you just
Natty Bumpercar 10:17
teach them to acknowledge other people’s feelings and other people’s experiences, you know, they’re good, and they’re bad, the suffering and you know, the highs and the lows, you, you are acknowledging and accepting and just understanding people’s feelings and emotions. Because we live in a society.
Rufus T. Rufus 10:36
It’s something that I believe we still Yeah,
Natty Bumpercar 10:39
yeah. And so also like, I forget what else but then I said something about the prior meeting, where they were heckling, and being mean to the teenagers who were giving their presentation. And a woman yelled out, don’t shame the parents. And I turned and I said, the parents were the ones who were doing this, you were the ones who were responsible for yourselves for saying mean things to children. And then I turned back to the POV, because someone else has done this earlier in the meeting. And I said, Can I have my time back? no joking. You know, trying to lighten the mood. It was a very tense room. And then, you know, the meeting happened and it ended and at the end, something that’s never happened to me in my life. A big group of people will say like six people or so gathered around the people that I was with and me in particular, and got all up in my grill all up in my face and started threatening me
Rufus T. Rufus 11:35
tart me Do you right? It is illegal activity. Do you do need representation because you know that I’m always willing and able, of course,
Natty Bumpercar 11:44
that’s the thing. I actually had to go to the police and like file a police report because it was just so bananas. It was I had to wait inside for like 20 minutes. They pulled me onto the stage because they were worried for my safety. And then they had to escort me to the car. It was not speaking of not a robot you sound younger, you’re like young robot now.
Did you consider making a drawing for the meeting? People are visual learners.
Rufus T. Rufus 12:25
You know, the dog does have a point there. Yeah,
Natty Bumpercar 12:27
he really does. But no, I didn’t consider that Hi, doodle poodle, by the way. But anything, everything’s okay for now. But be kind be nice to everybody. Okay. The 400th episode of the bumper pod guy.
Aloysius J. Pig 12:40
Why are you yelling? What just happened? I just I thought the episode was ending. And so you know, usually we just kind of end on that like, in like,
Natty Bumpercar 12:47
I don’t know, I don’t know, I
Rufus T. Rufus 12:48
got confused. I’m sorry. Well, now, I want to say I’m proud of you. And I’m happy for you. And you know, you got to keep fighting the good fight standing up for people getting your foot into the door making good trouble, you know,
Natty Bumpercar 13:00
yeah. Thank you. And I appreciate that. No, but it was it was a really hard week. It was really a couple of weeks. It’s been just mentally to think about
Aloysius J. Pig 13:08
it. Yeah. And how did the kids take we didn’t tell them because we don’t want
Natty Bumpercar 13:11
them to worry. But what I just said mentally as far as going through it. It also shone a light on me of other people’s experiences that they go through this stuff every day, and I just got to taste and we got to make the world a better place for you and for me and for everybody. Okay, let’s do that.
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius JPG Rufus t Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar we also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar comm slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts. See you soon.
Unknown Speaker 15:06
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Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Every week, Natty Bumpercar presents a few ounces of ridiculousness with a dash or two of stupefaction. It's totes banoo!