Natty has been to three camps in the last week to tell the jokes. It has been quite an adventure. Quite an adventure!
The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
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Natty Bumpercar 0:03
Hey everybody, it’s me Natty Bumpercar. And and and I want to let you know that we’re only three episodes away from our 400th episode, wait, including today, it might be 297 9899 and then 400 Whoa. And so we want to do something super special for the 400th episode. So what I’ve done is I’ve written a an intro, and it’s like a song type of thing. And I sent it out to a bunch of people. And I was just like, hey, just you can read this or you can sing it or whatever. And here’s the thing. I was wondering if you would want to be part of the intro to if you do, just find me at Natty Bumpercar on Twitter and send me a message. And then I’ll send you the script for the intro. And then I’ll put it all together. And then maybe you can be part of something that’s pretty cool. At least I think it’s pretty cool. I think it’s pretty special. Pretty super special. Just like you. Come on. Let’s do it.
What’s going on everybody? It’s me. Natty. Natty. Natty. He is Natty Bumpercar. And I’m thrilled to be with you here today because I’ve got an amazing story. A phenomenal story. Something that same
Aloysius J. Pig 1:23
Natty, What’s your story? Well, you can get to it soon, I’m sure. But before you get to it, I had a pretty cool story is well,
Natty Bumpercar 1:31
that’s great pig. But this like, I really want to share this story. And I kind of thought this was just going to be one of those like Bumpercar tells a story kind of episode.
Rufus T. Rufus 1:40
That would be unfortunate and indiscriminate as I also have a couple I actually have several 123 if you have two now that’s a couple. Right? And three, what is that several as several stories that I wanted to impart upon two days. Okay, my podcast.
Natty Bumpercar 2:00
I don’t think that I really don’t think we have time because I wanted to help my I have one story and I was super excited about telling it and so maybe can we can I can I just tell my story?
Aloysius J. Pig 2:13
Yes. So wait. So now you’re saying that nobody else gets to tell a story. It’s gonna be all you the whole time.
Rufus T. Rufus 2:20
You know, I had three scores, and I wanted to tell it as all the truth, truth and if so facto. Okay, think of the word.
Natty Bumpercar 2:34
But guys, you’re just speaking gibberish. I just, we’re already, like, almost three minutes in and I want to tell my story. And so how about I’ll tell my story, then pig, you can tell your story. And then Rufus, if we can, you can tell as many stories as you want with the time that we have left.
Aloysius J. Pig 2:51
I mean, that seems okay to me is whatever I don’t want even I don’t even want to fire energy.
Rufus T. Rufus 2:56
I’m gaining the fuel gauge. Okay, so let’s, let’s proceed.
Natty Bumpercar 3:00
Okay, great. So in taking care of time, we had a yard sale last weekend. In the morning, I got up and I moved the car around the corner so that there’ll be more room in the driveway for the stuff. And when I moved the car was like 730 in the morning. There was a mama duck. And she was gray. And she had this bright blue stripe on her. And she was standing there with with with five little ducklings, right right on the corner. And so I got out, but Lily said it was a mother’s a duck. She’s like a mom. There was a mama and five little ducklings and they were standing on the corner.
Aloysius J. Pig 3:39
And so your story’s about ducks.
Natty Bumpercar 3:41
Yeah, why I don’t like that’s the name of the episode is lucky ducks and so yeah.
Aloysius J. Pig 3:47
Okay, whatever I don’t care about and I’ve never read the title. But the thing is, my story is also about ducks.
Natty Bumpercar 3:54
Really? Okay, what is yours?
Aloysius J. Pig 3:56
Yeah. So I’m walking down by Dr. stream. And there’s some ducks around doing duck things. quacking swimming, whatnot. And all of a sudden this mama doc runs over. She’s got some little baby ducks winner. Right. And she’s freaked out. Okay.
Natty Bumpercar 4:16
Oh, okay. Well, this is interesting, because I think I know why she was
Rufus T. Rufus 4:20
now hold on one second as your legal representation here not a Rufus T. Rufus and telling you not to say another word. I believe that this is being recorded somehow, somewhere some ways somehow. I did that twice. But so I would say do not implicate yourself if you if you consider yourself happy as a free man,
Natty Bumpercar 4:43
obviously happy as a free man. But I’m not going to implicate myself because I didn’t do anything wrong. So pig. I think what happened was, so I saw the ducks, I took their picture, and I was gonna show it to the kids. And then she wandered off right and the little ducklings followed Her but then I still heard this like,
all around me. It was baby ducks. And I was looking around everywhere. And,
Aloysius J. Pig 5:13
and I know and they had fallen into the sewer great Is this what is this true? This is what she was saying she was saying to all the ducks, she was like, ducks, ducks, we gotta go save my babies they fell down into. She didn’t say super great because she said metal hole is what she said.
Natty Bumpercar 5:31
Yeah, so that’s exactly what happened. I looked down. And there were I think I counted like six baby tiny little ducklings. And they were stuck down in the sewer. And then I lay down. And I saw I tried to see if I could get my arm in there to get them but there wasn’t enough space. And so then I
Rufus T. Rufus 5:48
hold on one second because this was right around when I would have received a phone call woke me up out of my slumber, my beauty sleep. And it was a mama duck and she was honking and squawking about the greats, the metal holes. She said, this town, my babies, I need help. I need representation. And I said, Ma’am, I will be there. Sweet.
Aloysius J. Pig 6:15
So I saw her on the phone. When she was she was talking all the ducks to get them to help but nobody could help because you know, where’s it gonna go? And then she said she was on the telephone. And so she must have been talking to you because then she scooped up all her babies. And she ran off. She said, I gotta I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go.
Natty Bumpercar 6:34
Don’t go. No, I’m just kidding. So here’s the thing. I called home because I was about a block and a half away. And I was like, here’s a situation. It’s a very serious situation, get over here with the kids. And then while they were coming over, actually called the police. And they sent over three cars to help.
Rufus T. Rufus 6:58
That’s interesting to me because I actually met mama duck at the police station and there were no cars there. There wasn’t there was no one that to help us. They said they also said they are often very important business and they would not tell me what was going on.
Aloysius J. Pig 7:14
So in and I’m still over by the string with the ducks. And we actually got out some we were going to we were drawn up on paper some plans to see how we could figure out how to get the dogs out and there was we thought your ducks are not great planets. Okay, don’t I’m not besmirching. But from my experience my own personal experience, ducks. Not so great.
Natty Bumpercar 7:37
Okay, well, so what I said the police came, and I had, I was able to lift the great, like, maybe a half an inch up, but it was really heavy. And so these guys, they were giant, they were really big. And they came and they, you know, they’re looking at it, they’re like, oh, we’re gonna call the town that you know, they’re gonna have to bring over a tractor to lift this and also and I was just like, Guys, I’m scrawny, I was able to lift it a bit, I think that you can do it. And they got these tools out. And we figured out the physics of where the fulcrum where you should put the thing to pull the things you can get down in there. And it was like a 45 minute ordeal. And the thing was, there were two pipes under the street. There’s one under the whole street, and then one smaller one. And what they would do is they would run back and forth so we had to take off two grades, and they would just ppppp in there would you get him get quieter as they were going under the street. And you’re like oh the ran over that way. And and we even like that we put like a something into the great to kind of like make them make the decision to come closer towards and they finally did. And while we were getting the ducks, we realized, wait, we gotta have somewhere to put these ducks. So I ran home and I got a little container. And it was so funny because my kid he grabbed like, like, a little sauce pot like small and I was like what do you that’s, that’s big enough for one duck. We got 767 ducks over there.
Rufus T. Rufus 9:09
I want to make sure he was not grabbing a sauce bought for any other reason. I’m just gonna make a notation here. Okay,
Aloysius J. Pig 9:17
real fancy doing okay, your voice got a little grizzled.
Rufus T. Rufus 9:20
I’m just worried about the duck lenses all you understand.
Natty Bumpercar 9:25
He wasn’t gonna do anything the ducks. But we brought a bigger container. We put them in there. I brought a towel because they kept hopping out Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop. And we eventually got all the ducklings Hooray. It was a big deal. In the process, one of the ducklings had jumped out and run under a bush. And so that was a big deal. And I thought that they had gotten that duck. So then I carried all of them over. The police and I we made a parade across the street. And I went to where I had seen the mama duck kind of go early exit down by the Double string riveting, huh? Yeah, yeah. And so we went there was this house that someone had bought and they were doing work on it so there was no one there. So we went down that driveway and at the end of the driveway It was like this crazy hedge that someone had cut a an entrance into it but it was all it wasn’t like a nice It was like all the draggled and scary and like Narnia and bad times and then we got back there and there’s this like dilapidated shed house and a tree and fall and there was a bridge over the steel was a lot to take this
Rufus T. Rufus 10:34
and there was a tree that had fallen. I wonder if I can litigate that situation for them. Did you get the no address for me? Sir?
Natty Bumpercar 10:42
Of course I didn’t. I didn’t. That’s not the first thing that I think of it’s not even like the fifth thing I think of if I’m gonna be completely
Aloysius J. Pig 10:48
alright settled down bump a guy that’s you don’t need to be mean. All right, just tell you that story.
Natty Bumpercar 10:52
Yeah. So all ducks saved. And we I walked over the bridge around ended up getting poison ivy Ray, and went to the edge of the of the little stream. And to the right of us into the leftover series. There was a lot of ducks, I would say about 2030 ducks. And my my family were worried they were like, well, I don’t see the mom do you? And I was like, Listen, I’m sure one of these ducks knows mama duck. And she’s gonna relay the information to where they are to her that you know the babies are here. So we just kind of took the container over and all the ducklings they just hopped out.
And it was the cute like it was so and then here’s the fun thing. Like they could walk right? But they also they just hopped right in the water and they started swimming. And it was like, just like, I was like, look at you guys with your swimming.
Aloysius J. Pig 11:49
All right. So any Did you have any other like, debts your whole story?
Natty Bumpercar 11:54
You know? No. So then later in the day after the yard sale, our neighbor had somebody who bought something from us was a blender and she didn’t know how to use a blender and she was asking me how to use the blender. And so I went over and I was trying to show her Now bear in mind she had bought this blender for $3 which in my mind at a yard sale. If you buy something for $3 and you take it away, the transaction is done. I’m not I’m not your tech support. I’m not I don’t have to explain how the blender works. It’s a blender, but I went over to show her. I’m standing on the stairs and I looked down I heard PPP. I looked down and went Oh, and then she looked down and screamed. It was one it was a baby duckling. And when she yelled he ran around the house to move and baby ducklings gonna run really quick and the dogs barking Can you contain them?
Rufus T. Rufus 12:43
I am not on doggy duty I cannot those dogs, they are more than I can handle back to you Bumpercar
Natty Bumpercar 12:51
So I ran around he kind of fell into this little hole like some stairs so I was able to wrangle him and then I held them close to my heart and he calmed down and then we walked back over across the street through the same place and and I just kind of gently had put him down on the ground and he went PPP down some rocks and then he hopped into the stream and then he just swam away. It was the cutest seller.
Aloysius J. Pig 13:20
I think in between those times duck save in one and duck save the dough. I was no longer down at the creek I go 100 take a nap if I’m to be completely honest. And huh so odds are two stories were the same story just from different perspectives
Rufus T. Rufus 13:36
here now and and sounds like one of my stores was also tied up as mama duck. And just so you know, we did come back she and I to the correct and we found no babies so she was reunited and I but she was still missing that one. So I hope that he got back to you because that’s that’s that sounds like a beautiful story.
Natty Bumpercar 14:00
See, at the beginning of the episode, we were all fighting over who’s gonna tell our stories and it sounds like my story and pig story and Rufus. His story. were all the same. So they were all tied together.
Aloysius J. Pig 14:09
I think he had three stories.
Natty Bumpercar 14:12
Yeah, yep. Yep. Yep. I was kind of hoping that we managed to avoid that. But sure. Rufus. Do you have other stories?
Rufus T. Rufus 14:18
I do. I do. I do. Both of my other stories they really rely on circumnavigate around the grocery store where I went and I was looking for some peanut butter. But I have since discovered that I’ve got a bit of a peanut butter allergy. And then but I do miss very much peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And then I cannot tell you that they have invented a peanut free peanut butter is what it’s called, is it could just be called butter I suppose. But I got it and it’s delicious and just thrilled to be here. back in the saddle back in the peanut butter and jelly sandwich said all right,
Natty Bumpercar 15:04
well, I’m thrilled at you. Good job. Um, that makes me happy. So that’s two stories. We’re already running late. So what’s your last story?
Rufus T. Rufus 15:13
Well, it all began when I was a child growing up in the woods
Aloysius J. Pig 15:19
now the mount can’t do it. Nope, nope. Nope. Any story that starts off when I when I was a kid, I am out maybe other episodes. Yeah, kid.
Natty Bumpercar 15:28
We can’t sorry. Rufus That’s weird. Yeah, maybe maybe you can have your own episode coming up at some point, but probably not. We’ll see. Alright, everybody. I hope the little ducklings are listening. We save your lives. Yay.
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous things a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius JPG Rufus t Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar we also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar comm slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts. See you soon.
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Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Every week, Natty Bumpercar presents a few ounces of ridiculousness with a dash or two of stupefaction. It's totes banoo!