What in the beans?! What kind of a place is this anyway? Today when I got into the shower â€“ expecting to fall into the world of cleansing ribbons that I had been enjoying up to this point â€“ there it was â€“ staring at me from itâ€™s divot in the wall . . . from itâ€™s little soap kingdom – [which I had never paid a lick of interest to before it became occupied (probably with much bloodshed and force) by (one of) the current scourge(s) of my (shower)] – was . . . a pink bar of soap full of such malice and mischief that I felt forced to reach (slowly) out of the curtain and proceed to get fully dressed for the remainder of my shower.
Now â€“ obviously â€“ you are yelling at your monitor â€œWhat the pinto you ninny?!â€ or something probably very similar to that about my â€œgetting all kinds of clothed in the showerâ€ method of dealing with this situation . . . but the look that was thrown my way by that bar of soap was really too much.
I donâ€™t want to scare any of the weaker knee(ed) folks that are reading this . . . but I do feel the need to again point out some definite facts. The bar of soap was pink â€“ very pink â€“ and it is highly probable that it had some sort of fangs or at the very least a grappling hook (it did get where it got all by itself) â€“ and Iâ€™m not sure â€“ but I really think that I heard it speaking to a tube of shampoo in French about some form of an assault or something. People . . . this thing is a triple threat â€“ pink/hook/(at least) bilingual . . . need I say more?!
[Well â€“ of course the answer to that is probably not . . . but why stop now when the getting is getting good?!]
[Okay â€“ this is annoying and uncomfortable after the last little brackets â€“ but I actually do need to stop . . . evidently the pink bar of soap caught wind of me writing this up â€“ and is threatening to sue me for liable if I donâ€™t cease and desist. So now I guess that we can add litigious to his ever growing list of attributes.]
(Iâ€™m â€“ a guessing that we havenâ€™t heard the last of all of this . . . )