[update #6]

What in the beans?! What kind of a place is this anyway? Today when I got into the shower – expecting to fall into the world of cleansing ribbons that I had been enjoying up to this point – there it was – staring at me from it’s divot in the wall . . . from it’s little soap kingdom – [which I had never paid a lick of interest to before it became occupied (probably with much bloodshed and force) by (one of) the current scourge(s) of my (shower)] – was . . . a pink bar of soap full of such malice and mischief that I felt forced to reach (slowly) out of the curtain and proceed to get fully dressed for the remainder of my shower.

Now – obviously – you are yelling at your monitor “What the pinto you ninny?!” or something probably very similar to that about my “getting all kinds of clothed in the shower” method of dealing with this situation . . . but the look that was thrown my way by that bar of soap was really too much.

I don’t want to scare any of the weaker knee(ed) folks that are reading this . . . but I do feel the need to again point out some definite facts. The bar of soap was pink – very pink – and it is highly probable that it had some sort of fangs or at the very least a grappling hook (it did get where it got all by itself) – and I’m not sure – but I really think that I heard it speaking to a tube of shampoo in French about some form of an assault or something. People . . . this thing is a triple threat – pink/hook/(at least) bilingual . . . need I say more?!

[Well – of course the answer to that is probably not . . . but why stop now when the getting is getting good?!]

[Okay – this is annoying and uncomfortable after the last little brackets – but I actually do need to stop . . . evidently the pink bar of soap caught wind of me writing this up – and is threatening to sue me for liable if I don’t cease and desist. So now I guess that we can add litigious to his ever growing list of attributes.]

(I’m – a guessing that we haven’t heard the last of all of this . . . )