(See you January 4 – with a new Snowflake!)
I think that this is where all kinds of stuff goes.
Howdy all.
This is a quick follow-up to the mountain of stress that was last night. It will hopefully put your minds at ease – and make you feel a touch better about where things were left off in my last little report.
As I think I put at the end of my last note – the baby is back to being a baby who loves to breathe. I sat up with him until this morning – and then there was a shift change – and the next crew came in to make sure that the situation was going smoothly.We then all went to the doctor’s office – where we were met with randomly oscillating waves of “the baby is fine” and “you should have taken him to the emergency room immediately.” That was perfect – just what our brains needed – confusion, guilt and more stress!
Lastly – we went to a children’s hospital (which I tried to amuse myself by calling a ‘horse-pi-tal’ – cough – yep!) – and saw a gastroenterologist who was tremendously nice – and answered all of our questions (with none of the guilt!) and checked J-em from head to toe. She determined that he was a “thriving baby” – which is a great way to describe a baby – and that as healthy as he was – that it was just a random freak occurrence that possibly some mucus had gotten stuck in his throat – and that while we should – obviously – keep an eye on him . . . Basically – he didn’t break – he was no worse for the wear – we had done good by him – and the world was a decent place to be.
It was a good way to wrap up the day. The long – long day. At the end . . . the baby was fine – we were exhausted – and now all we have to do is figure out how to get some sleep – with all of the miserable of last night floating around. All in all – a definite win for the home team!
I got asked why I wrote about the whole thing . . . Why would I put it out there . . . What was the point? Pretty simple – actually – I didn’t want to have it all jumbling up in my head – and it makes me feel better to write stuff down – or draw silly pictures – or make cartoons – or – or – or whatever. So – that is what I did – and I’m totally totally glad that I did. Did. Did. Did.
Thanks a bunch for all of your well wishes . . .
Everybody – remember to keep breathing.
Toodles,
N.Numpercar
Hi there website . . . I see you – over there – looking at me . . . all hang-dog expression – all sad – because you think that I have run away and forgotten all about you.
Well – buck up camper . . . You see – there was this teeny tiny baby born – and so there had been a bit of transitioning going on – but that is all going super well – and so – I swears that I’ll be back writing silly stuff and putting pictures of the things up really – really soon. Look at it this way . . . the baby is definitely going to give me all kinds of new stuff to write about – right?!
I guess that it could be debated – that in writing this post – that I am actually fulfilling some of my website duties . . . But look at me being all logical – sorry about that.
Oop! That baby is making some funny noises – so I have to run – but I will be all kinds of back really really soon.
Seriously – I swears!
I don’t like to brag, and normally I don’t feel the need to boast – but what I am about to lay out in front of you is definitely worthy of banners and parades and being shouted about from the highest of ramparts in the castle.
Sometimes I pretend that Headquarters is a castle . . . It makes (Irving Brown) Socks sleep better at night – because it makes him feel safer from the marauding hordes . . . And that is important to both him and I.
Our major tremendous event occurs at an odd location . . . A place by the name of Red Lobster.
Wait – you’ve heard of it?! How exciting!!
Well – the story begins while I was minding my own business – in the lab – where my dog sleeps . . . The challenge rang out lout and clear from the televisions tube. “Endless Shrimp!” It trumpeted at me. “Endless Shrimp!!” It continued to bellow. And then – again – before I could alter my course to gain my footing I was slapped with a final gauntlet across my cheek . . . “Only for a limited time.”
I knew that I could not escape the battle that was to come.
An evening came – when the stars were aligned . . . and I knew that the time had come. I went to the restaurant. I sat at the table and dug in for what was going to be a long long night.
The first wave that hit consisted of an order of Garlic Shrimp Scampi and Hand Breaded Shrimp. They were coming two at a time – and no sooner than they had arrived – a request for the next two plates was put in . . . This time it was for Cajun Shrimp and Coconut Shrimp Bites. I was feeling great. I had a goal and there would be no stopping me.
I had raced to around 32 shrimp – but – unfortunately the breading was starting to take a real toll. My assistant – who kept risking life and limb by running into the place that they called the “kitchen” suggested that if I was really going to be in it for the long haul – then I should focus on the unbreaded varieties . . . It felt like a small defeat – but I had to keep moving forward. An order of Teriyaki Grilled shrimp and another order of the Garlic Shrimp Scampi came to the table. I officially ate one of the Hand Breaded Shrimps as number 50 – just to prove that I was still in charge of the table.
From this point, things started to slow down greatly. I was starting to feel twinges of pain. The lights didn’t look quite as bright . . . And then I started to repeat – over and over in my head – a mantra that I had heard a ragged child sing into the misty night of a battle . . . long since though lost.
The blackest black came at night. It’s darkness broken – only – by the candle’s light . . .
His voice haunts me to this day. His song drove me on.
The Coconut Shrimp Bites were gone as was another order of both the Cajun Shrimp and the Teriyaki Grilled Shrimp. The shrimp tails were piling up. I had set my number and I was done.
Seventy-Three shrimp were vanquished at that table. Seventy-Three shrimp that will never be able to bring their form of malice and tiny discontent to the countryside. My job was done – and I am happy to say that it was done right.
On the way home, even with my head swimming in the elated clouds of victory . . . I was feeling the cold hard effects of the long hard fight. There were leftovers in the car that were giving me fits of remorse . . . and even to this day – when a commercial comes on the television – trying to tempt me back into battle with it’s cry of “Endless Shrimp!!” I look away. I had made it through my test and I was happy to have walked away in one piece.
As a quick aside to anyone foolish enough to want to jump into the fray themselves . . . If I had to rate the shrimp, – which after all of this – I would be dumb not to – I would say that the Cajun were my favorite – they were very flavorful and had a small bit of spice to them. The Teriyaki were also very tasty – if you like the sweetness of teriyaki sauce – which I do – to a point. The Garlic Scampi Shrimp were a little watery and not as wonderful as I was expecting – which was sad. And both of the Breaded varieties were fine – just too heavy for what I was going for that night. The Coconut Shrimp Bites did come with a sweet pineapple-coconut chutney that set them apart from the normal cocktail sauce that comes with the Hand Breaded. All in all – very accomplished – and tasty foes.
I just got back from a truncated walk with Mister (Irving Brown) Socks.
It was a walk that started with my diligent adherence to duties with the taking out of a bunch of recyclables and then it became a slightly more troubled walk as I stumbled deliriously through my typically ire-raising gauntlet of spider webs. The walk was going downhill. I should have read the signs. The signs in the webs.
The night was so splendidly pleasant that I was all ready to make up for the days short-short walks that we had taken earlier . . . and then woosh! One police car whizzed by from behind me. Then, at the corner, I saw another patrol car go by and then, in the other direction, two more – with one continuing straight and the other taking a left away from me.
I was starting to get a bit antsy – because even though I evidently live on a normal thoroughfare for Montclair’s finest . . . This was getting a touch out of control.
From behind me – a police car came up – and I could feel it slow down to check me out. But then, as we got to the corner, it zoomed off. Three more zipped by in all different directions and then, just as soon as I crossed the street, one of the cars pulled over to the curb.
“Excuse me sir.” came the serious voice from the dark of the car. “Uh. Yes?!” I said back – very composed – considering the fact that I wanted to really get to the bottom of all of the cars flying around . . . Who were they hunting? What did that person do??
“Did you just come down that street?” He asked. And again I replied with my completely self-unassured. self-questioning response of “Uh. Yes?!” Then – as he was asking the next question – I heard the little radio say ” . . . wearing a white shirt . .. ” I was wearing a white shirt and was starting to get needlessly skittish. The radio voice continued ” . . . dreadlocks . . .” Well – friends – I don’t have any of those – so I figured that I was in the clear.
The policeman got even more serious than he had been and asked if I had either seen anyone or walked past anyone while I was walking around . . . And even though those two things weren’t necessarily mutually exclusive . . . I pushed my brain past that speed-bump of a paradox and gave him a stern “No, sir.”
This was when I took my opportunity to present my boldest of queries . . . I took a shallow breath and said “Should I . . . Uhm . . . Go back home?!?”
He looked at me . . . and with measured weight said “Yes. You. Should.”
So – when the man with the gun suggests that something be done . . . Guess who jumps to the front of the line to make sure that it is done with a quickness?? Yep – Yep – You guessed it . . . Me. That’s right!
The night and the walk back was’t very far – but – I kind of allowed my imagination to run freely and yowza did I contract some serious case of nerves! I kept looking over my shoulder and hopping at every shadow that Socks was itching to investigate . . . But nothing happened.
A couple of streets away – I could hear little bits of siren and the occasional flash of blue light . . . But nothing beyond that. So now I go to sleep wondering if everything in the world is okay . . . And wondering what the person wearing a white t-shirt with dreadlocks maybe did . . . And why they did it . . . Or – maybe – if something was done to them – and the police are looking for them so that they can help . . . Or something.
The possibilities make my mind race . . . Which is exactly what I am not looking for before I lay my head down to sleep.
Pleasant dreams all.