Category: Bumperpodcast

So here I sit. In my castle. Whiling my time away. I can get a mite bored – so I talk to my dog – but he usually doesn’t have much to say. So now I talk to a mic – because that’s less crazy – and it’s easy to convince myself that I am just procrastinating . . . and not being lazy. So – thanks for the listen – you get a gold star. Hopefully you will enjoy what you hear. Hardy-har-har-har.

  • Bumperpodcast #428 – Season 3 – News

    Bumperpodcast #428 – Season 3 – News


    “News” is a side-splitting episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast set in the wacky town of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, and Aloysius J. Pig engage in a series of humorous tangents as they attempt to discuss some exciting news. As they get sidetracked by everything from current events to bizarre hypothetical scenarios, the gang’s banter becomes increasingly absurd and comical.

    Despite the numerous distractions, the gang eventually receives the exciting news they were waiting for, leading to even more hilarity and unpredictable twists. With its quick wit, playful banter, and unexpected punchlines, “News” is a prime example of the Bumperpodcast’s ability to create unforgettable improvised comedy. The show celebrates the art of improvisation, and this episode is a testament to the cast’s comedic talent.

    Listeners will be entertained from beginning to end, as the gang navigates their way through the absurdity of Coffee-Can Alley with humor and grace. “News” is a must-listen for anyone looking for a good laugh and a break from the mundane.

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Another story about saving baby animals!

    A feel good story!

    Previous episode!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe


    [av_toggle_container faq_markup=’faq_markup’ initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” size-toggle=” av-desktop-font-size-toggle=” av-medium-font-size-toggle=” av-small-font-size-toggle=” av-mini-font-size-toggle=” size-content=” av-desktop-font-size-content=” av-medium-font-size-content=” av-small-font-size-content=” av-mini-font-size-content=” heading_tag=” heading_class=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-lh0oasbv’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”]
    [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-lh0oadj1′ sc_version=’1.0′]
    Natty Bumpercar 0:00
    For you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys. You guys. You guys. You guys.

    Aloysius J. Pig 0:07
    What is it Bumpercar What’s so excited about what you’ve seen he came in really hot, you seem very excited I am I’m super excited. But I’m also

    Producer 0:15
    really bothered just nippy, I didn’t do what you are super excited about. But maybe you want to tell us because your team very happy

    Natty Bumpercar 0:23
    I am producer but the house will have a problem I have I have something that I’m super excited about. But then I also have something that I’m kind of frustrated and bothered about. So which one do you want first?

    Rufus T. Rufus 0:33
    Well, not here as your lawyer. I recommend that we’re gonna get the bad news out of the way first, and then we can end on the high note. Because you know, that’s what I think it’s a better way to do business.

    Aloysius J. Pig 0:49
    You know, Rufus has a point because I always said you’re just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down into that same way that CRD it opposite roofers, that when you get the good news fires, and then it softens the blow of the of the of the bad nose. So I don’t know, I guess we’re of two minds,

    Producer 1:08
    or two seems like a lot of sugar that you’re taking a whole spoonful, it’s going to definitely go over your daily requirements of sugar. So yeah, that seems like it’s a bad equation. You know, if you’ve got to take your medicine, you just kind of let it go medicine, you don’t have to be taking all of it. Sugar as well. And you know, they say if you’re sick, you don’t want to be taking a lot of sugar.

    Natty Bumpercar 1:31
    Okay, yeah. Well, that’s, that’s that’s a good point. I you know, I Rufus, I see what you’re saying, you know, bad news, get it out of the way. Good news. And on a high note, pig, I see what you’re saying. Also, the good news is going to ease you into the bad news. And, and and producer, I think you’re right. I think that probably too much sugar isn’t really going to help if someone is sick. And you know, what kind of medicine is it that we’re taking that you’re going to need a spoonful of sugar? And is it just a spoonful of sugar? And then is it a spoonful of medicine? Because that one to one ratio is just not going to be good? I’m gonna have to reach like, if you ever tried to eat a spoonful of sugar, it is not easy

    Rufus T. Rufus 2:16
    at all. Now not as your lawyer it’s me. Hi, everyone. It’s Rufus here. We are not a medical advice. No. And so I’m hesitant for you to be out here with your equations and your representations. And your I don’t know you’re just kind of spewing some medical advice and I don’t think we’re comfortable and number one be telling you Okay, so watch ourselves a little bit here. i So, what we will do is everyone please ignore nine, the sugar medicine that was that was previously discussed on this bar now. Okay. And I think we may not it will just move forward with whatever your big news is or whatever. Okay, okay.

    Natty Bumpercar 3:08
    Okay. Totally makes sense. Totally agree. Yeah, I don’t really think we were giving medical advice, but you are the lawyer so I will listen to you. So here’s what I’m gonna do. I have two numbers. In my head. Pig. I’m gonna let you count the numbers that

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:24
    are between 711 Seven left seven.

    Natty Bumpercar 3:27
    You went a little too fast there. I didn’t tell you what they were in between. So pickle is in a pickle. No, that’s also that’s actually not even a number. That’s it’s yeah,

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:37
    it’s delicious. Are you gonna agree that pickles are wonderful. You get sweet pickles? You got sour pickles? You could sometimes I spicy pickle. I mean pickles. Really? They could they run the gamut of different kinds of I don’t know if they what are they called? They’re not condiments are not side items. What does it pick up? Exactly?

    Rufus T. Rufus 3:54
    I think that the word you’re looking for as a contract ma I think what you’re looking for is kind of a flourish you know on a plate. I think a pickle is one of those things. It’s an add on the just elevates your meal a little bit. Let’s say I’m having a butter sandwich which is of course delicious. You take your bread and you put your butter on and then you sprinkle a little a little sugar and the

    Producer 4:24
    sugar there. Yeah. A lot of sugar.

    Rufus T. Rufus 4:27
    We’ve been sponsored by big sugar this week. Nothing sugar. Did they call him

    Natty Bumpercar 4:31
    no no excuse. No one called in and watch the microphone. You just ran into it? No, but first off I’ve never had a butter sandwich. That sounds great. It sounds really great. But so it’s it’s it’s it’s bread and butter and then sugar and then more bread. Yeah, that just I I don’t see any nutritional value coming Any any of that? Really? Yeah. And

    Aloysius J. Pig 5:01
    I’m wondering, what is real fish with a woody giving you this butter sandwich with the sugar before they were giving you some sort of medicine? Just a sandwich and helps that. And with I don’t know what I was doing there Yeah,

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:23
    you will you would be ruining the whole day we were here we were talking about butter sandwiches. It’s a delicious treat. And we were talking about pickles, and I finally figured out what they are the Okay, just don’t worry.

    Natty Bumpercar 5:39
    Don’t worry about it. Cool. I don’t want to talk about pickles anymore.

    Producer 5:43
    Hold on one second that they pickled is actually a cucumber then. So it’s like you magically you take the cucumber, and you just have to do some I don’t know things to it, and then it becomes a little bit of a pickle.

    Aloysius J. Pig 5:57
    Everybody knows what a pickle is?

    Producer 6:01
    Not a yes or no, no.

    Aloysius J. Pig 6:03
    Why don’t produce Why don’t you go back behind the board. You’ve done a lot of talking done today’s episode. And you just handle the buttons and knobs and the tubes and the wires and everything back there. And oh, come on pump like I was you know, yeah, we’re like 17 minutes into we’re not we’re not and I finally I’m ready. I’m actually what it is, is I’m not ready for the news. But I’m just done with this whole thing. Whoa. And so I’m ready to be done. Okay, if that’s okay, yeah, that’s

    Natty Bumpercar 6:30
    totally fine and totally understandable and totally acceptable. So, here’s the news. The good news, and it’s pretty phenomenal, I think, is that the bumper podcast just past 80,000 listens in the time that 80,000 listeners to this podcast since we started.

    Rufus T. Rufus 6:54
    A lawyer here. Let me just get some papers out here are 80,000 I feel like we have reached some sort of out here. We have a contract threshold here and the contract. Yeah. Yeah. At 8000 and every 20,004. After that. We are on to receive a PayPal.

    Aloysius J. Pig 7:19
    So we get paid.

    Rufus T. Rufus 7:23
    A percentage, I think. I suppose I can circle up and I’m gonna come back on this if you don’t mind, because my list is wonderful news. Congratulations to everyone. Yeah, good job. We should have some sort of a party, maybe get some sandwiches and put some pickles.

    Aloysius J. Pig 7:43
    Don’t come Don’t do that to him rule for you. Wow, good job. Bomberger. Everyone is super thrilled at the bumper podcast, it’s been listened to over 80,000 times. That’s amazing. And we’re why like 430 episodes in 12 years, can somebody do the math and tell me like, What is that like eight listens per episode? Like two, two lessons per year? Like what is it a good number I don’t even know allergies.

    Producer 8:10
    I know, I’m not supposed to talk, but I respect her crunching some numbers and I came up with this. So 430 episodes, it means divided by, well, you have 280 1000 divided by 430. And it comes up to like 187 episodes. Okay. And then if you think there’ll be deeper

    Rufus T. Rufus 8:34
    now, it was a one second I don’t I don’t mean to interrupt, because these wonderful numbers you’ve come up with. But I was wondering, can you make some sort of spreadsheet with some sort of shot? Maybe a bar chart? Maybe it’s a good idea? I don’t know. Maybe it’s some sort of a pie chart or something.

    Natty Bumpercar 8:51
    Now you now you’re talking I did not enjoy the reference to the pickle party. But I very much enjoy the reference to a pie chart because I think you all know I love a good pie. Yeah, I

    Aloysius J. Pig 9:03
    mean, how could you not pie pie pies? Pies. Good. Because you can have a sweet pie. You can do like an apple. Or like Apple rhubarb or strawberry rhubarb. A little berry is another good pie.

    Rufus T. Rufus 9:19
    I mean, you can do a Marang also, you can do like lemon Marang you can I mean there’s so many options for pie.

    Producer 9:26
    You know, was one of the talks about the numbers but nothing we’re talking about bias. You can have sweet pies you can have savory pies, which are just delicious. You know, you can have like a good dumpling kind of pie. Or you can have a minced pie I don’t know really what that is. You can have a Thanksgiving pie

    Natty Bumpercar 9:49
    weird Turkey you didn’t show up for the Thanksgiving episode you forgot to come I guess. But now you just appear when when when when producer mentioned A Thanksgiving pie I

    Producer 10:09
    completely understand and you know, I was not going to be in tentative, I was just going to go over the numbers, and we were talking about pies. And then I got a little bit over my skis. But really quickly, I just wanted to tell everybody, so if you take the numbers or 800,000, I think we’ve been doing this or something like 12 years, and you divide the 8000 by 12 years, you come up with how many episodes are no Debbie, listen to? You don’t think of that.

    Natty Bumpercar 10:39
    Yeah, that sounds like yes, I would very much like to hear that. I mean, it’s not going to be super representative, because I’m sure as less listens in the beginning that maybe it is now but yeah, tell us what, how what that number breaks down.

    Producer 10:50
    Okay, with everyone from freaking the one out but if you divide 1000 by 12, you know, the year, it comes up to 6,666.66666?

    Rufus T. Rufus 11:05
    Nope, you’re gonna we’re gonna either than we we’ve been doing it shorter or longer, because that number is not acceptable. And that is the good news was the 80,000. That’s the bad news. And is that we just does this doesn’t seem acceptable to me at all. Bad luck home in Canada

    Natty Bumpercar 11:20
    number. No, it has nothing to do with the bad news that I think that that number is totally random. And you know, we’d have to go back and look at see when we actually started and everything because I don’t really no, but no, don’t let, let’s let’s not freak out about that. We’ll just say it was around 6500 per year, roughly. And then that feels a lot better. I agree. But no, no, no, no, that’s this is all great news. This is all the good news. Good news. 80,000 listens way to go. Bumper podcast. Thank you so much bumper podcast, good tears. You know, we’ve been on the non pro network. We’ve been on the shining wizards. Podcast Network. We’re currently on Radio Free Montclair. So it’s great. We’re doing things. I appreciate it. But we also have some bad news. I think we have time that I should probably talk about

    Aloysius J. Pig 12:11
    that. Yeah, you should probably get to it. What is the what is the bad news?

    Natty Bumpercar 12:14
    Well, the bad news is I don’t know if you listen to the last week’s episode, but that guy still has all of our equipment and so we haven’t even been recording this. I’ve this is just a brick that I put in front of you all and this isn’t really an episode. This was we didn’t have an episode this week, right.

    Outro 12:42
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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  • Bumperpodcast #427 – Season 3 – Storage Wars

    Bumperpodcast #427 – Season 3 – Storage Wars


    “Storage Wars” is a hilarious episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast set in the quirky town of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, a new character named Sir Reginald makes an appearance and stirs up trouble as he lays claim to the gang’s storage facility that contains all of their podcasting equipment. As the gang tries to fight back, they engage in a series of witty and zany banter that will have you laughing out loud.

    The episode also features the return of beloved characters Rufus T. Rufus and Aloysius J. Pig, who lend their unique personalities and comedic talents to the show. As the gang attempts to outsmart Sir Reginald and regain their storage facility, chaos ensues and hijinks ensue. With unpredictable twists and turns at every corner, “Storage Wars” is a must-listen for anyone looking for a good laugh. The Bumperpodcast is a show that celebrates improvisation and spontaneity, and this episode is a prime example of its comedic genius.

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Another story about saving baby animals!

    A feel good story!

    Previous episode!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe


    [av_toggle_container faq_markup=’faq_markup’ initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” size-toggle=” av-desktop-font-size-toggle=” av-medium-font-size-toggle=” av-small-font-size-toggle=” av-mini-font-size-toggle=” size-content=” av-desktop-font-size-content=” av-medium-font-size-content=” av-small-font-size-content=” av-mini-font-size-content=” heading_tag=” heading_class=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-9b2jdj’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”]
    [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-6t75lz’ sc_version=’1.0′]
    Sir Reginald 0:03
    Get out, get out, get out.

    Who are you? And

    why are you here? I have purchased a storage container with all of these monies. And everything that is in here is mine. Are you doing coming in trying to rifle through on my good deeds, the things that I have purchased? Who are you? And what is your business? Oh, okay.

    Natty Bumpercar 0:33
    Wow, Hi, sorry. I’m Natty Bumpercar. And this is my storage container. And I, I don’t know what’s going on because I was supposed to be paid up through the entire year. And so are you telling me that the management like sold my storage unit to to you have

    Sir Reginald 0:55
    no bearing you have no business here? I have the deed of goods, I have the deed of rent, I have the receipts right here. And so what you will do is, accept this property. Be on your way? No,

    Natty Bumpercar 1:15
    no, I’m actually no, I’m not gonna. First off. You don’t own the whole property for the storage unit building here. But also, this wasn’t, this isn’t right. We’re both gonna have to go and find like, I guess the guy who’s running the place or manager, whatever, and sort this out, because obviously, this is a huge misunderstanding. And yeah, we’re gonna figure it out. I’m not gonna get too freaked out or angry. But I am kind of frustrated right now. So hold on one second. I just have to send a quick call. And we’ll we’ll get this figured out.

    Sir Reginald 1:54
    No, I say no, I am not on your time. You are on borrowed time, even just being here. You shouldn’t be here. You do even have you walked away. He doesn’t even have a storage unit here. And the more you know how I know because it’s now my storage unit and them friend thing I see. And now many boxes, many crates. Many containers of such right goods are all mine.

    Natty Bumpercar 2:28
    I’m back. Just my friend was in the car. And oh, hey, hey, Ruth. Rufus. Please help me please. Hi. Yeah.

    Rufus T. Rufus 2:39
    It’s a lot of lows matter now. Have what is it? I was just in the car, doing my saw duco and I need to say so myself. Can you focus with the numbers? I’m more of a word. Oh, sorry. Who’s this gentleman now,

    Natty Bumpercar 2:58
    I don’t know his name, but he claims that he purchased the storage unit, which has all the equipment and everything in it. And not He’s not letting me go in. And I don’t I think it’s a misunderstanding. But I don’t I don’t I don’t really know what’s going on.

    Rufus T. Rufus 3:15
    Now. Hello. My name is Rufus T. Rufus. I’ve accidentally run out of business cards. I would of course, give you one. If you want to just jot it down though. It’s Rufus Are you f u s, and then the T you understand Rufus? Again I you asked us and I am lawyers. I’m privileged to make your acquaintance. And how can we settle this? This seems like a little bit of a

    Sir Reginald 3:51
    miscommunication perhaps we do have documentation you understand? Oh, so you’re a lawyer? Is that what I’m to understand? Oh, I’m so terrified. I’m shaking in my boots. Why don’t you just take yourself outside away from me and y’all can figure out whatever you’re going to do out there. Well hmm not he’s not very nice. Just I don’t know. Yeah, yeah. Maybe we should regroup with something outside.

    Natty Bumpercar 4:25
    I know. I think we should probably just stay here and figure this out. I don’t even know his name. i Oh, hey.

    Aloysius J. Pig 4:34
    Yeah, what’s going on? Everybody hurt pig how’s it going? What are we doing who’s this? Who’s this dude? I got I got all I got the food and the Chi waited but it didn’t all in the car. So I think if we did you get whatever you need it for the podcast and then we can go that’d be fine with me. And very interesting. You

    Sir Reginald 4:54
    have podcasting equipment in here. Well, I’m I really have struck gold. I really would have won the lotto as they say yeah, I can sell everything for 10 times the amount that I paid for this little box of stuff. Oh, I think that is what I will do.

    Aloysius J. Pig 5:19
    Okay, can somebody cuts me up on this situation and also what was with the stuff you sounded like you ran out of words is something these big box tests this guy’s hilarious Is this your new friend Natty? I don’t know. Exactly Reggie

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:35
    you seem like more of like when a roof is friends. It’s hard to be completely on now Aloysius, I appreciate that you, you know, tribute him to being one of my friend but we I just now made the acquaintance of this gentleman. And it was it was not a good meeting. It was I would go so far as to say a bad meeting. And the situation is that evidently, the storage facility has sold our our space out from under us with all of us stuff in it, you understand? And so not to came here to kind of figure out where stuff was and then he couldn’t get in because this gentleman was standing in the door and now we can catch him now.

    Natty Bumpercar 6:23
    Rufus? What just happened to your voice? It you kind of sounded a little bit. I don’t know. European kind of like that guy. Is it just from hanging out next to him that you’re starting to take on his is accent a little bit?

    Sir Reginald 6:39
    I don’t think he sounds anything like Matt’s Oh, he sounds like pollywog if I’m to be completely factual, and listen, you have no standing here. I am not friends with you. I have not met you. You are just interloping you are just in my way. And if you do not leave, I will have to call the constable and they will come in and they will take you away to switch so

    Aloysius J. Pig 7:05
    cool. Cool. Cool. I’m gonna go again. I’m gonna go to the car. Because I’m gonna I’m hungry. And that’s where the food is. But yeah, interesting little pickle. You got yourself in here again. Bumpercar. Good luck figuring it out. And you didn’t tell him about all of the s Nake s data in the storage. I can’t spell storage. Might certainly can’t spell facility.

    Sir Reginald 7:45
    Did you want to even talking about what kind of play the blather is this? You’re telling me that there are? What was this again?

    Aloysius J. Pig 7:55
    Yeah, I said Dara s. And a ke s in this? Dire edge. Fusce selati. You see what I’m doing there? Now hold on everybody.

    Rufus T. Rufus 8:14
    You could tell on me that the storage facility is full of snacks because I am hungry. And I know there’s food in the car. But if I’m here, and there are snacks right here, why not just have a taste or two? You know,

    Natty Bumpercar 8:28
    I can’t even fathom that. You’re my lawyer. No, pig, I did not tell him about the s in a kes center. loaded all through the storage facility. Of course, sure, there is some podcasting stuff that we use to make the bumper podcast and that we had to put in the storage facility because we went away for a little while. But there’s also a lot of the thing that you are mentioning. There’s not an S there. Sorry, I

    Rufus T. Rufus 9:07
    feel so smart. Don’t you think that you’ve got me over a barrel that you’re over here? Spelling all your words. I know exactly what I said. A ke I saw I went to the wall of Butan School for Young prospective gentleman and so I am sarolea Oh wow. And understanding that you’re saying that this whole facility is riving with snakes. And with that, I’m going to have to bid you adieu because I’m highly allergic to snakes. I don’t know how you found my one weakness in the world but i i relent I’m now going to rip this piece of paper up that says that I And the proper owner of the facility goes double rips can’t believe I’ve been foiled like this by a pig

    Aloysius J. Pig 10:20
    that was pretty anticlimactic you just you’re allergic to snakes you’re given up after all that you’ve been yelling at us for 10 minutes and you’re just saying goodbye i usually these things you know they can be drawn out for months like like we’re all standing here for months talking about the storage thing, but you have not he’s he’s walking away yeah. Very strange thing.

    Natty Bumpercar 10:48
    I kind of don’t believe Hold on let me look at these pieces of paper that he just hey, Rufus. Can you just try the door real quick while I’m trying to put these pieces of heat he double ripped it so that means it’s it’s serious I

    Rufus T. Rufus 11:11
    can actually hold

    Natty Bumpercar 11:12
    on No, what’s the key here? Okay, here there go description

    Rufus T. Rufus 11:19
    alright, I’ll go over and check the DOJ seems like I should be looking at the documents because I’m not really a key man you

    Aloysius J. Pig 11:33
    natty the lock evidently he locked it before he ran away and it’s a different key than the key that we have so we ain’t gotten okay to get into the once you figure out what the pieces of paper so

    Natty Bumpercar 11:47
    when I got the pieces of paper back it’s a it’s a menu for a local restaurant and that he must have just had and on it he he wrote hahaha. To the victor goes the spoils and then it says tallyho you fools and that’s it. No signature anything that’s not a contract Natty. I

    Aloysius J. Pig 12:18
    just want to point that I even serious with this. We know it’s not a contract. The man gave us a menu and then ran away with the keys to locked off we lose this time.

    Outro 12:42
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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  • Bumperpodcast #425 – Season 3 – Gramps

    Bumperpodcast #425 – Season 3 – Gramps


    “Gramps” is an episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast set in the whimsical town of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, the show introduces a new character, Gramps, who adds a new layer of humor and craziness to the already lively town. Gramps, with his wild stories and unique personality, quickly becomes a fan favorite.

    The episode also features the return of familiar characters such as Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysius J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, and the always reliable Producer. As they all come together, the town of Coffee-Can Alley becomes a hub of comedic chaos as they engage in a series of improvised sketches and scenes. From witty banter to off-the-wall jokes, this episode is sure to have you in stitches. The Bumperpodcast is a celebration of the unexpected, where anything can happen and no two episodes are ever the same.

    (I have started using AI to write my show descriptions. They are marvelous!)

    Links:

    We have started adding the podcast to Youtube with ridiculous background videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzha2MH5Rf6T89JtRPNqbC0UOxRXxyU0v. Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Email us at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Cute old stuff:

    Another story about saving baby animals!

    A feel good story!

    Previous episode!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe


    [av_toggle_container faq_markup=’faq_markup’ initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” size-toggle=” av-desktop-font-size-toggle=” av-medium-font-size-toggle=” av-small-font-size-toggle=” av-mini-font-size-toggle=” size-content=” av-desktop-font-size-content=” av-medium-font-size-content=” av-small-font-size-content=” av-mini-font-size-content=” heading_tag=” heading_class=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-8hod85′ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”]
    [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-87xi1x’ sc_version=’1.0′]
    Gramps 0:05
    bother. I ain’t got time for nothing. I checked my calendar and schedule is awful up. I don’t have any, any even I don’t even I don’t. I don’t have even any time to even think about doing anything. And hey, girl, Hello,

    Natty Bumpercar 0:28
    how you doing? What’s

    going on? What do you do?

    Gramps 0:31
    I saw this telephone set up and I was trying to make a phone call to the doctor, because I have to have to go to the doctor. Yeah, well, oh, you have to go to

    Natty Bumpercar 0:43
    the doctor. Well, that seems like something that we should figure out. Definitely. But we’re not going to do it with that stuff. Because that’s the equipment that we use for the podcast here at

    Gramps 0:58
    lot is called please hand corner.

    Anyway, the kind of headquarters is it?

    What are you doing here that you’re like, Oh, I flew. You know, you were raised to be high flow. But looking at your own. I got all my quick man.

    Y’all got a headquarters.

    I don’t even understand half the words that you even say. What’s up?

    Like, toe cat? Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar 1:30
    Yeah, so we I don’t know. We started calling it headquarters a long time ago, when we were you know, we’re in coffee. Ken alley here and the adjusters superhero team. The zooper Yeah, the superhero team. They have their headquarters and and so they used to a long time ago actually hanging out here and so I guess now that I think about it, they must have named it headquarters and we just kind of moved in. And as far as Bobcat it’s a podcast, podcast podcast. Oh, it’s just like an old radio show basically kind of year you’re talking to people and you have a show and you talk and you say things and say what kind of thing are you saying?

    Gramps 2:14
    Are you giving out your your banking information your social security number or recipes? You got some good like maybe for cornbread biscuits? Or are you tired like doing reviews? Like you know, I want cedar in my fire and not pine because Pon

    Aloysius J. Pig 2:37
    a cramps? What’s going on? What are you doing it? I never seen you in the podcast studio. Pig. Sherry is little ham himself. Yeah. Oh, yes. coming in and talking and talking pig again. Yeah. Good to see you. Yeah, anyway, sorry that I had Bumpercar I’m gonna probably just leave you guys to this today. But there’s a little bug going around the house. So if anybody cook a

    Gramps 3:09
    cockroach,

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:10
    no, not like a kaka wrote? Like a upper respiratory sickness. You know, it’s a little bit. Everybody’s a little gunked up right now. So I just want you to watch out for it. Wash your hands. You should probably put a mask on. Oh, look those masks at all? Yes, of course. Cramps of course. But you should be should just take care. Okay. Okay. I’m out. Go back to your star. Yeah.

    Gramps 3:37
    Back to the star.

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:39
    One Gramps. Good one. Thanks.

    Gramps 3:41
    Oh, Natty I don’t know why you hang out with that little man with me. He’s fun everything but he’s a pig. You know, you cannot Yeah, you should like oh, he’s my best friend and he’s a beast pig. You know are people people talk is all I’m saying. You can’t go into town and people are like, Oh, I wonder if he’s gonna issue Granger gonna bring that pig out. I’m like, I don’t I can’t control him. He’s up there in his headquarters, you know, loop de loop

    Rufus T. Rufus 4:14
    raps what’s going on? It’s me. Rufus tearoom. The lawyer you want to stay now I heard you say looped in with somebody here. Let’s act in a little loop. delu that seems a little loop to Lou to you. Because you know what happens if anyone isn’t familiar loopty loop is the term around here and it’s in the contract course that I drew up because I am a lawyer that states and definitive and to that. If you live too low, then you’re out of the show. Basically Bumpercar was looped to glue at some point and he no longer had control of his faculties we sell say and I had to turn over the keys to the to the show to the bumper podcast. It was a time of growth a time of now.

    Gramps 4:58
    You owe me money.

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:00
    What what is that gramps?

    Gramps 5:02
    Remember, I gave it you alone. And I feel like you owe me so a lot of you owe you a you owe me some money and I would appreciate it if you would. Rate you know,

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:19
    as they say, give me Well, as I always say natty grams is great to see now I’m busy right now Oh, triple quadruple booked and, and also reading triple books. So I gotta scoot on out of here but always good to see you grabs and we’ll be

    Gramps 5:40
    watching. You come back. I’m gonna allow

    somebody stop. Okay, this is incorrigible. I can’t even believe I’m being treated today. I’m home grown song.

    Room studio,

    y’all quit mass think and I don’t appreciate none of this. Oh,

    Natty Bumpercar 6:06
    I’m happy that you stopped by and that you’re here. You know, but this is we’re making a podcast and so I it’s kind of it says, you know, I’m sorry about Rufus owing you money. I wish you were nicer to pig. But

    Producer 6:28
    naughty, it’s me, our producer. And I noticed that we have the grand the grand man here. And I don’t Is Is he on the podcast today as he levels? Are we should we just I don’t what are we doing? And he stopped the outline for the show. Or anything? Yeah,

    Natty Bumpercar 6:49
    I I didn’t see the outline.

    Gramps 6:53
    Tell me that this thing is is recording right now. You’ve had this whole conversation for the last 10 minutes. And it’s being recorded. That’s what I talk about this. There’s cameras everywhere. There’s microphones everywhere there. You’re, you’re out to get us your your generation, your younger generation is out to get us and I don’t appreciate it. I didn’t sign anything. And I don’t want to be recorded.

    Producer 7:24
    I was wondering if Rufus maybe could help with

    Gramps 7:30
    roofers, your

    Producer 7:32
    car seat, sir. Yeah, of course. I know. He does. Take your money from time to time for me that’s been the back No. Well, anyway, I’m so sorry that they confusion I. Normally when people come in, I just start recording because I don’t know when we’re going to, you know, make the podcast or when we’re not. And so I say okay, this looks like my chance. And then I hit the bathroom. And I’m very, you know, apologetic. But I think we’ve done a wonderful job so far. If I’m to be honest,

    Gramps 8:07
    I am sorry to pop my head back in here. So I don’t mean to interrupt twice now. But did I hit something about scripts? Like our outlines? I didn’t know we were starting to do that kind of stuff. Are we going to start having scripts? Because that actually seems like it might be work. And I don’t know if I’m into that is what I’m trying to. I have my hands up and I’m rolling them out. I’m saying I am pointing at myself. I don’t know both hands pointing at you. If I both again, it may am into that. And that’s me putting my hands up like whoa, I don’t that’s if this is just me showing up and saying jibber jabber up on it. You know this. If this is me, having to sit down with you guys at a writers table

    Aloysius J. Pig 8:51
    who’s you don’t know about

    Gramps 8:53
    me like

    maybe friend is just a layabout. He doesn’t even want to work for anything. He just expects the world to come to him and I say that’s not how it works. In my day, if I wanted to eat, I had to walk up a mountain, cross a river and then into a valley and then wrestle a bear and then get the map to where the food was from the bear and then go to the frozen tundra because the food was there because that’s where it was kept cold it makes sense and I put it in my satchel and then we’ll go all the way back okay give a little bit to the bear because I feel bad that’s wrestling with a very nice and then heated up it would I would go three weeks in between my meal three weeks, really three four times a year I would eat.

    Natty Bumpercar 9:54
    I I don’t want to question you, but I don’t know think that that the stories that I’ve heard this aren’t, this isn’t true, maybe I mean, like, you can’t go three weeks without eating. I don’t know what you would do you wouldn’t do well, and then just say you only ate three or four times a year, even four times a year that would that would say at that three weeks a clip that’s 12 weeks. So that’s that’s that’s only full. Let’s do the math. Three months. I I again, I’m not questioning you. You have you. i Oh, I don’t

    Gramps 10:38
    that eats me doodle total. Time. Who makes drawings? Hey, doodle. Hey, Grant was

    talking dog. You’re talking frog? Talking ping? It

    is played? It’s like the Berenstein No,

    I can’t remember what it’s called.

    Natty Bumpercar 11:03
    The Bremen Town Musicians, which was a favorite book of mine growing up and there was Davis chicken and there’s cat and there was a dog and maybe trying to think a goat. Maybe a horse. I don’t remember. But yeah, I know what you’re talking about. But there was a lot of animals in that good catch. Hey, Judo poodle. Thanks so much for stopping by. That’s very weirdly well timed for you. Could you maybe do me a favor and see if gramps wants to go with you to your studio to maybe you could show him some of your some of your doodles some of your artwork

    Doodle Poodle 11:38
    just sounds like the best idea that I’ve ever heard in my life. Would you be interested in baby going away studio checking out some of my amazing

    Gramps 11:57
    genius gonna send me away with this talk and dog high pitched voice to his art studio.

    Sees doodles.

    Natty Bumpercar 12:09
    I think that’d be nice.

    Gramps 12:11
    I don’t know about this. Well, I

    Natty Bumpercar 12:13
    just I want you to if you’re gonna be hanging around, I want you to meet some of the other people here at headquarters. And I mean, it’s not like you have a lot on your schedule. Anyway, isn’t.

    Gramps 12:23
    That reminds me my schedule is so JAM PACKED again do anything.

    Outro 12:42
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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  • Bumperpodcast #424 – Season 3 – How Are You

    Bumperpodcast #424 – Season 3 – How Are You


    “How are you?” is an episode from the hilarious and unpredictable improvised comedy podcast, Bumperpodcast, set in the quirky town of Coffee-Can Alley. This episode features the lovable and zany main character, Natty Bumpercar, as he navigates through his day-to-day life and all its absurdities.

    In this episode, Natty runs into a series of unlikely and humorous encounters as he attempts to answer the titular question, “How are you?” From interacting with eccentric town residents to getting into wacky situations, Natty’s unique perspective and quick wit never fail to bring laughter to the listener. The Bumperpodcast is a non-scripted and unplanned show, meaning each episode is fresh and full of unexpected twists and turns that will keep you entertained from start to finish.

    The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    Where to find us:

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    We have started adding the podcast to Youtube with ridiculous background videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzha2MH5Rf6T89JtRPNqbC0UOxRXxyU0v. Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Older Stuff:

    Another story about saving baby animals!

    A feel good story!

    Previous episode!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe


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    Natty Bumpercar 0:04
    I actually had to come out to the studio today and defrost the microphone. And and the board because it’s so it’s cold. It’s so chilly out here. It’s 55 degrees currently in the studio, which is kind of insane to me, but fine. This is the bumper podcast. I am Natty Bumpercar It is wonderful to talk to you today. How are you? I’ve missed you so much. No, no, really, I have I, sometimes people say how are you? And they don’t actually want you to answer because it’s like a formality. Right? It’s like, oh, how are you doing? And then you have to make the mental societal calculation of, do I actually tell them how I’m doing? Do they really want to know how I’m doing? Or do I just go? Ah, I’m fine. Things are good. Like, right. But then sometimes they’ll press a little bit. They’ll go, ah, how’s the family? How’s the Giles’s of wife? And it’s like, oh, you’re opening the door, you’re really opening the door to do I’m gonna start talking, I’m gonna give you information. And then you’re gonna, you know, wish you hadn’t, you know, because a lot of times the how’s it going? Is pretty surface. Because the people that you’re saying, how’s it going to? That generally implies to me at least that you haven’t, you know, talked to them in a little while, and maybe you’re not up on the day to day. And so, you know, the people who do know how it’s actually going, they probably know for, you know, for the most part, so they don’t have to say how’s it going? Because they just know. So then the people who come up to you and say, How’s it going? They aren’t up on the news, right? They know they don’t get your they don’t subscribe to your newsletter. Right? They don’t read your, your, your blog, their your RSS feed, they’re not watching your tic TOCs. They don’t know how it’s going. And so when you’re like, Well, who actually there’s a lot going on, then you can see like their, their the skin on their face kind of tighten up a little bit. And they go Oh, no, what have I gotten myself into? Ah, all right, and then they try to what? Okay, there’s you Well, that’s great. See, I’m gonna No, no, no, no. Oh, friend. You just asked me how it was going. And I am going to do you have 45 minutes? Because I’d like to tell you how it’s going. I’d like to tell you every single bit of how it is going. And so that’s why it’s a very not transitional but just it’s a very transitory I don’t know what the word I’m going for. But it’s it’s not a real question. It’s not, you know, like, Hey, bud. Let’s hang out. Let’s sit down right now and hash this out. Let’s have a cup of hot liquid. Whatever. I don’t know what hot liquid you drink. I don’t like coffee. I should you know, we should let you know that. I don’t like coffee. I think coffee is yucky. I do like tea. Big fan of tea. Right? Not fruit fruity kind of teas. kind of freaked me out a little bit. But like black tea, like an earl grey, which is a black tea, but it’s gray. I don’t know. English breakfast. Now that’s a tea I can get behind. That’s a solid tea. Right? What other hot drinks cider? Oh, man, I will drink a cider. Like all day long. I will drink a cider. I will. I will take some cinnamon and I’ll put it in my cider. Yeah, that’s gonna make my day better. I’m just gonna tell you right now. A Chai now. That’s a tea though. So I don’t know if it really counts. What other kind of hot beverages are there? I don’t know. Do you consider like broth to be a hot beverage? Like a miso soup that you know maybe just has a couple of little scallions in there. Feels kind of soupy I don’t know. There’s like what kind of what kind of tea do you like? Oh, I’ll take the chicken tea today please. warms me up. fills me up makes me feel good about everything out there. Oh, sorry. We don’t have any chicken tea. But we do have these dried up leaves that you can put in hot water and then it’ll turn your water Brown. Oh, wow. That sounds delicious. My my youngest kid. He’s I don’t know how old he is. 710 43 I don’t know, but he’s adorable. And he said, I drink a lot of tea. And he recently, he was like, you know, I’m gonna, I’m gonna try some of that tea and I said, Oh, are you and I let them have a little sip of my tea, you know, not wanting to get the child caffeinated. Because he doesn’t need the energy for him. To be honest, I need I need all of the energy. I am a robot whose battery is always low. And so I need the energy. And but I let him have a little sip just to see if he liked it. And he did. And so I went out and I bought him a little box of decaffeinated tea. And now that I’m saying that I kind of wonder if there’s any caffeine in that because though, even though it says decaffeinated, I wonder if it’s just that means has less caffeine, or if it means there’s none, I don’t know, but I should. Now I’m thinking I should find that out. And he loves the whole process of making tea. And I think I like part of that too. Where are you, you have your your water the kettle, it’s on the fire and it’s it’s boiling, and it’s whistling while that whole thing is happening. You you go and you get your mug or whatever, you know, kind of thing. You’re putting your your your hot tea into, you put the tea bag and you’ve we we’ve discovered because I used to put sugar in my tea because I like a little sweet D because I’m from the south. That’s what we drink. But now I’ve discovered something called monk fruit, which is I don’t know what it is. I know nothing about it. I just know, I was in the store. And someone said, Would you like to try these strawberries? They’ve got a little monkfruit on them. And I was like, yeah, oh, sure. And this wasn’t even like someone who worked in the store. This was just like a random person. I think they pulled it out of their pocket. If I’m gonna be honest, I wasn’t like at a station. It wasn’t branded. It was just, yeah, wow. I don’t know, maybe. Maybe monkfruit is doing some guerilla marketing. Now they’re just going into stores, berries in their pocket, and trying to turn to turn the masses, or something like that real grass roots is what they’re doing. So no, I, I tried it. And it was it was I was like, Well, this is this tastes fine. This tastes yummy. This is good. And so then it took me two months for that thought to work its way through my brain and get to the point where I was like, I wonder if this monkfruit will be good and my tea. And then it took another month and a half for me to then go fight like be at the store. And remember that that was something that I was curious about. So it’s it’s a six month process at most. So any, any thought that comes into my brain anything that I’m like, you know, that’s a good idea. It doesn’t just then happen. It has to sit on the shelf for a little while, you know, like, actually what we do is we, we cook it with and then we put it in a mason jar and then we put it on the shelf and then you let it rest there and then we open it in. Oh, and it’s delicious. And then we put it back in the fridge. I mean, it’s a whole process is what I’m saying. And so I finally it happened though, I got it. And it’s delicious. It doesn’t in Thai it doesn’t 1,000% tastes like sugar. But I would say it’s a good 80% And it doesn’t taste like the I don’t like unnatural sweeteners, like the pink packet or the blue packet or the yellow packet. Those all kind of just leave a bad taste in my mouth don’t like diet sodas, either for the same reason. I just don’t think Yeah. But this stuff

    so far, so Okay, so, you know, keep drinking it, drinking it, no putting it in my tea and then drinking it. That’s what I’ll do. So the child he loves the process of we put the teabag into the mug while the water is boiling. I’ve started putting this monk fruit and it was tea and he doesn’t seem to notice which is nice. And then you know, you put the water in and he he enjoys watching it steep. And I would like to know the etymology of the word steep because it’s your, you know, just putting the teabag into the hot water and releasing the deliciousness from the leaves that have been dried. And I don’t know what steeping is. Hmm. But, you know, initially we were trying to teach him like alright, so you have a tea bag And then you put it in the water. And and you know, it has to sit in there for a certain amount of time the water should be a certain temperature, it should sit in the water for a certain amount of time and we’re not that scientific about it, if I’m to be honest, but you can look at it and you can see like, okay, that that water looks plenty dark to me. Like, I feel like it’s got enough tea flavor. And then also try to explain to them that if you leave the teabag in there for too long, if you forget it in there, it might turn bitter on you. You don’t want that No, no, no bitter, no bitter. Nope, no, buddy, no bitter. So you know, he’s caught. He’s like, has it steeped enough as it steeped in it, and I’m like, I think it is steeped enough. And so then he takes it out. And then what we do is we leave like an inch at the top of his mug. And we put some ice cubes in there just to cool it down. You know, I don’t want to burn them. I want them to enjoy his tea. And so then we have I have a tea buddy. Like we go to we go to the restaurant, and we get breakfast. And he’s like, she’s like, and what what will you have little man some chocolate milk. And he’s like, actually, I’d like some tea. decaffeinated, please. And I’m like, Oh, you’re so fancy. Look at you a little fancy man. And the waitress is always, you know, they’re always really amused by it, that he’s being so fancy. And he. And the last time we went, she was like, and would you like some cream? Or should he was like, no, no, no half and half for me. He knows what half and half is. I don’t even know what half and half is. I just know it’s kind of milky stuff. And it’s all a it comes in a little bowl type situation. And it’s put on the table. And then you put it in coffee and stuff. And it makes it look neat and cloudy and everything. I don’t really know if it if it changes anything, but you know, so she was asking him this. And so we go to the same diner every so often. And it was great because we went there just he and I the other day. And we’re at the table. It’s the same waitress that we normally get. And she comes up and she has all these, you know, big smiles and oh, how are you? When you look at you guys and we’re like, hey, and then she looks she goes. So how’s it going? And my younger son has picked up on this social cue, and he said, I’m not sure you really want to know how much time do you have

    Outro 12:42
    the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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  • Bumperpodcast #423 – Season 3 – Transparancy

    Bumperpodcast #423 – Season 3 – Transparancy

    We are back for a whole new year and a whole new season of ridiculousness! The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    [av_toggle_container faq_markup=’faq_markup’ initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” size-toggle=” av-desktop-font-size-toggle=” av-medium-font-size-toggle=” av-small-font-size-toggle=” av-mini-font-size-toggle=” size-content=” av-desktop-font-size-content=” av-medium-font-size-content=” av-small-font-size-content=” av-mini-font-size-content=” heading_tag=” heading_class=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-lcqgrzvu’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-lcqgrwmr’ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:00 I can eat Check, check, check any check, check. Hi everybody. It’s me Natty Bumpercar. And well, I guess it’s a new season. Well, I guess it’s a new year. New Me. I don’t know. I Rufus T. Rufus 0:16 think it should be an entirely new podcast given the fact Hi everyone. This is me. Rufus. T. Rufus. Given the fact that you’ve been disappeared for quite some time. Do you have any kind of explanations for the audience? You can’t just leave them hanging like Producer 0:32 everyone needs me producer and not that you don’t have to actually say anything. You’re just you are a very busy man. And not everyone knows. You’re doing lots of things and sometimes you get bogged down which is funny coming from a frog bug go good frog only log in a bog it’s funny to me. It’s a frog joke. Anyway. You don’t have to tell Rufus anything. Okay, Aloysius J. Pig 0:54 Natty, I have you want to see me? I always just J pig heart coming in here. Hot. I’m coming in here hot. And I am bothered by this whole situation. Because here’s the thing. I think you don’t need it. I give an explanation. Everybody Bumpercar Because the last time you put out an episode was a the I don’t know. I don’t even I honestly, I don’t even know my calendar doesn’t go far that far back. Okay. So I appreciate when I think everybody would appreciate it as you maybe just a little bit of transparency. That’s, you know, kind of one of those words these days. Oh, again, good, a little bit of transparency and let us know what’s going on. Which is Natty Bumpercar 1:32 fine. Yeah, well, full transparency. I just went through 15 minutes with my computer with a giant spinning rainbow ball that was saying to me, Hey, we just everything just got lost, but evidently it didn’t. So we’re back. And that makes me happy. That’s my transparency for you for right now. Santa 1:52 Now Natty, as your lawyer, I’m going to come out and tell you that that’s not the kind of transparency that we are talking about. That’s more like a translucency that’s more like a or pigness or something like that what the people are looking for. They’re looking for a clear window in which they can look through and see what you’re talking about. Okay, and I don’t feel like that’s quite enough for you understand? Natty Bumpercar 2:21 Yeah. Okay, cool. What? What is happening right now? Is that do we? Do we get a telephone? I’ve always wanted to be a call in show. Somebody, answer quick. Aloysius J. Pig 2:38 Ha, ha allow this bump. I don’t have high who who’s? Natty Bumpercar 2:45 It’s turkey in Turkey. Oh. Good point. Okay, thanks, Turkey. Wow, that was great. But thing I think maybe you hung up on him a little bit too fast. Like he was still talking or clicking are gobbling. I don’t know. What is doesn’t i Does anyone know Turkey talk? What is the gobble so God like you still got to be fair. Aloysius J. Pig 3:10 I was caught unawares. I was caught off guard. I didn’t know that I was gonna be unfound duty. I kind of feel like maybe that’s producers kind of kind of jam. And I I did I kind of I kind of freaked out a little bit and I just hung up. I didn’t I didn’t. Natty Bumpercar 3:28 Another one. Oh, producer get this good. This one producer. Producer 3:36 Oh, hello, this is the show’s producer. We’re not going to the Natty Bumpercar bumper podcast site. today. Her name who’s calling? Rufus T. Rufus 3:49 Well, I’m quite sure that you understand who’s calling. I know you’re having a call caller ID are Natty Bumpercar 3:58 we Hi, Santa Claus. We don’t have any kind of caller ID but because this is our first time having a telephone on the show. But I recognize your voice. And it’s super cool that you’re calling in and I’m so happy to hear from you. And I Rufus T. Rufus 4:09 don’t think you’ll think so in a second. Oh, yes. You see not to you didn’t record your podcast for the last bit of the year. And that is upset a lot of people. For instance, I believe Turkey called earlier. You never had him on the show last year. I am calling you again. Because you did not have me on the show. This is a traditional thing that we do every single year where Thanksgiving comes around Turkey comes on the show. December comes around and then I’m on the show as well. Do you have any thing to say not to well now as Natty’s Santa 4:54 Ruffus? Oh yeah, I’m not asking you to stand in front of Mr. Bumpercar. Oh, I’m just asking for a little bit of transparency is Natty Bumpercar 5:05 fine. Okay, here’s what happened last year. This is late November and December. In late November, I was out in the bumper barn and I was trying to get some Christmas decorations down off of the loft loft is about 10 feet up in the air, and I was getting a giant storage crate full of decorations down. And I was using the ladder kind of to guide the big box down. And then the ladder shifted, and then the box fell and it whacked me in the head. Aloysius J. Pig 5:41 This is all true. I was there. I witnessed the whole thing. It was it was quite the wallop that he taught. Santa 5:47 I understand. Keep talking, please. Yeah, Natty Bumpercar 5:49 absolutely. So it hit me and I kind of went down on one knee. And I don’t think I passed out. But people were asking that but Oliver was out here with me. And he was like, are you okay? And I was like, ah, yeah, I was like, Is there any, any blood? And he looked, and he’s like, no blood. And I was like, Ah, all right. And then I proceeded to get down for more giant boxes, because I’m silly that way. Now. I put my hand on the back of my head. And when I pulled it back blood, there was a lot of blood. Sorry, I don’t want to freak you out. But it was true. This this actually happened. And Oliver said, I think we should go find mommy. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s a good idea. Good. Good call. Sweet Child. And so I stumbled back into the house. Dear, I think I have a concussion. What should I What should I do? And it was hilarious, because I said, Can you look at my eyes, I need to see if my eyes are dilated? I Producer 6:56 don’t understand what exactly died or die. You die. You later. What is What are you talking? What does that mean? I don’t I’m not a medical professional. I’m there. So fraud, who is good at producing a bandit. Natty Bumpercar 7:08 Very good at it. Yes. So dilated, it just basically means so there’s in the center of your eye, there’s something called a pupil. It’s like the little circle black part. And that’s actually how the light gets into your eyes. And that’s the whole thing. But sometimes, if they’re really big or really small, then you can kind of see that there’s stuff going on with them. And she said, and so and when you have a concussion, that’s one of the things that they check. They’re like, let’s look at your eyes and see if your pupils are dilated. And so she looked at my eyes and she said, I don’t know, I think that one is bigger than that one talking about my eyes. And I was and she’s like, but I don’t know if that’s just because of where you are in relation to the the light in the room. And, like, I don’t think that’s how it works. But you know, and then I said, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go take a shower. So I did that I went, I took a shower. And definitely was feeling pretty pretty off. Now. Rufus T. Rufus 8:10 I’m feeling pretty off. It’s just something that is it. Can we sue this box? I mean, I don’t want to be litigious this early in the new year, but I am the lawyer. So I just think I could probably look into it. And there’s a there’s a box have any kind of assets that we can go and Aloysius J. Pig 8:27 settle down roof is I keep telling story bumper, Natty Bumpercar 8:29 okay. So my whole life, I’ve been told, if you have a concussion, don’t go to sleep. But then I went on the internet and they said, Hey, you can go to sleep. And I was like, okay, and I fully am aware and know that I could have gotten any answer that I wanted. And I was very tired. It was like at 930 at night, and I went to sleep. And I slept all day. The next day. It was a Saturday. And I really I felt like I couldn’t move. I was just on the couch. And Saturday night, a friend of mine, Dave from Cedar beans coffee joint where I host the Thursday open mic, the caffeinated open mic. It was their four year anniversary, and I was I got up and I was like I am gonna go to this thing. And my wife was like, I don’t want you to go to that thing. And I was like, I have to go to this thing. And she’s like, again, I would rather you not go to the thing. So I went to the thing. And I took all of her with me. And I got there and within like a minute and a half all the noise and the people in the lights. I was like this was a mistake. I’ve made a terrible mistake. And I found a mom like a friend of Oliver’s mom and I said can I give him to you? And they’re like, yeah, what are you doing? I was like, I wanted to go to the emergency room. And so I did that. And they ran me through all kinds of tests and they were like, Yeah, you you have got a concussion and I was like I yeah, I know, I know. And that’s really all they did. They were like, alright, you just got to take it easy for might take a couple of weeks and good luck to you. Now I was like, Ah, all right. And so so that was the that was in November. That was the week before Thanksgiving. And then Thanksgiving happened. And we had all kinds of people at our house and I overextended myself. And so I made it worse, because that’s what I tend to do. So, Santa, if you could tell Turkey that that’s why he wasn’t on the podcast in November, Santa 10:33 all of a sudden, Santa I’m being your messenger. That’s fine. Well, I’m terribly sorry about your head. And I hope that you’re doing things to reconcile that situation and that you’re going to take better care of yourself and live here. Natty Bumpercar 10:48 I absolutely will. I promise steps have been taken. I got smaller containers. So I don’t have these monstrous containers to get down. And yes, I’m definitely going to try. It’s funny, every single doctor that I ever talked to, they’re like, are you taking care of yourself? And I’m like, no. So much, not so much. It’s not really what I do. I don’t take care of myself a lot. And they were like, You should probably start. And I’m like, okay, like I do it. But grudgingly I don’t know if you if you do that when you go to the doctor, but I’m like, fine. I’ll take care of myself. Blah, blah, you know? Santa 11:25 Yes. And that’s yeah, I do appreciate that. Very much. I do. I tend to overextend myself as well, especially at towards the end of the year where there’s a lot going on and I have to go around all the places and this elves in the building things and the rain do you have to take care of them and so I understand what about Pat what happened in December because I also was not on the podcast. Producer 11:53 All right, actually. Sorry to interrupt. Natty and Mr. Claus. i This is producer. We only have 30 seconds to go on the show. So maybe we can you can test it. Can you I know you’re busy man. You made it back next week. Oh man, figure it out. Are Rufus T. Rufus 12:10 you seriously asking sam I’m so cool back on the show. I’m Natty Bumpercar 12:14 terribly sorry Santa, but we I don’t know what to do I Aloysius J. Pig 12:17 and scene Natty Bumpercar 12:20 did you just hang up on Santa Claus. Aloysius J. Pig 12:23 shows gonna end shows Natty Bumpercar 12:26 do not answer that no one answered the phone just run. Outro 12:42 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon. NonPro 14:01 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container] [av_postslider link=’category,1881′ wc_prod_visible=” wc_prod_hidden=’hide’ wc_prod_featured=” prod_order_by=” prod_order=” date_filter=” date_filter_start=” date_filter_end=” date_filter_format=’yy/mm/dd’ period_filter_unit_1=’1′ period_filter_unit_2=’year’ items=’10’ offset=’0′ contents=’excerpt’ columns=’3′ preview_mode=’auto’ image_size=’portfolio’ control_layout=’av-control-default’ slider_navigation=’av-navigate-arrows’ nav_visibility_desktop=” autoplay=’yes’ interval=’5′ img_scrset=” lazy_loading=’disabled’ alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-lcqg1s7q’ sc_version=’1.0′]