We are back for a whole new year and a whole new season of ridiculousness!

The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

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Natty Bumpercar 0:00
I can eat Check, check, check any check, check. Hi everybody. It’s me Natty Bumpercar. And well, I guess it’s a new season. Well, I guess it’s a new year. New Me. I don’t know. I

Rufus T. Rufus 0:16
think it should be an entirely new podcast given the fact Hi everyone. This is me. Rufus. T. Rufus. Given the fact that you’ve been disappeared for quite some time. Do you have any kind of explanations for the audience? You can’t just leave them hanging like

Producer 0:32
everyone needs me producer and not that you don’t have to actually say anything. You’re just you are a very busy man. And not everyone knows. You’re doing lots of things and sometimes you get bogged down which is funny coming from a frog bug go good frog only log in a bog it’s funny to me. It’s a frog joke. Anyway. You don’t have to tell Rufus anything. Okay,

Aloysius J. Pig 0:54
Natty, I have you want to see me? I always just J pig heart coming in here. Hot. I’m coming in here hot. And I am bothered by this whole situation. Because here’s the thing. I think you don’t need it. I give an explanation. Everybody Bumpercar Because the last time you put out an episode was a the I don’t know. I don’t even I honestly, I don’t even know my calendar doesn’t go far that far back. Okay. So I appreciate when I think everybody would appreciate it as you maybe just a little bit of transparency. That’s, you know, kind of one of those words these days. Oh, again, good, a little bit of transparency and let us know what’s going on. Which is

Natty Bumpercar 1:32
fine. Yeah, well, full transparency. I just went through 15 minutes with my computer with a giant spinning rainbow ball that was saying to me, Hey, we just everything just got lost, but evidently it didn’t. So we’re back. And that makes me happy. That’s my transparency for you for right now.

Santa 1:52
Now Natty, as your lawyer, I’m going to come out and tell you that that’s not the kind of transparency that we are talking about. That’s more like a translucency that’s more like a or pigness or something like that what the people are looking for. They’re looking for a clear window in which they can look through and see what you’re talking about. Okay, and I don’t feel like that’s quite enough for you understand?

Natty Bumpercar 2:21
Yeah. Okay, cool. What? What is happening right now? Is that do we? Do we get a telephone? I’ve always wanted to be a call in show. Somebody, answer quick.

Aloysius J. Pig 2:38
Ha, ha allow this bump. I don’t have high who who’s?

Natty Bumpercar 2:45
It’s turkey in Turkey. Oh. Good point. Okay, thanks, Turkey. Wow, that was great. But thing I think maybe you hung up on him a little bit too fast. Like he was still talking or clicking are gobbling. I don’t know. What is doesn’t i Does anyone know Turkey talk? What is the gobble so God like you still got to be fair.

Aloysius J. Pig 3:10
I was caught unawares. I was caught off guard. I didn’t know that I was gonna be unfound duty. I kind of feel like maybe that’s producers kind of kind of jam. And I I did I kind of I kind of freaked out a little bit and I just hung up. I didn’t I didn’t.

Natty Bumpercar 3:28
Another one. Oh, producer get this good. This one producer.

Producer 3:36
Oh, hello, this is the show’s producer. We’re not going to the Natty Bumpercar bumper podcast site. today. Her name who’s calling?

Rufus T. Rufus 3:49
Well, I’m quite sure that you understand who’s calling. I know you’re having a call caller ID are

Natty Bumpercar 3:58
we Hi, Santa Claus. We don’t have any kind of caller ID but because this is our first time having a telephone on the show. But I recognize your voice. And it’s super cool that you’re calling in and I’m so happy to hear from you. And I

Rufus T. Rufus 4:09
don’t think you’ll think so in a second. Oh, yes. You see not to you didn’t record your podcast for the last bit of the year. And that is upset a lot of people. For instance, I believe Turkey called earlier. You never had him on the show last year. I am calling you again. Because you did not have me on the show. This is a traditional thing that we do every single year where Thanksgiving comes around Turkey comes on the show. December comes around and then I’m on the show as well. Do you have any thing to say not to

well now as Natty’s

Santa 4:54
Ruffus? Oh yeah, I’m not asking you to stand in front of Mr. Bumpercar. Oh, I’m just asking for a little bit of transparency is

Natty Bumpercar 5:05
fine. Okay, here’s what happened last year. This is late November and December. In late November, I was out in the bumper barn and I was trying to get some Christmas decorations down off of the loft loft is about 10 feet up in the air, and I was getting a giant storage crate full of decorations down. And I was using the ladder kind of to guide the big box down. And then the ladder shifted, and then the box fell and it whacked me in the head.

Aloysius J. Pig 5:41
This is all true. I was there. I witnessed the whole thing. It

was it was quite the wallop that he taught.

Santa 5:47
I understand. Keep talking, please. Yeah,

Natty Bumpercar 5:49
absolutely. So it hit me and I kind of went down on one knee. And I don’t think I passed out. But people were asking that but Oliver was out here with me. And he was like, are you okay? And I was like, ah, yeah, I was like, Is there any, any blood? And he looked, and he’s like, no blood. And I was like, Ah, all right. And then I proceeded to get down for more giant boxes, because I’m silly that way. Now. I put my hand on the back of my head. And when I pulled it back blood, there was a lot of blood. Sorry, I don’t want to freak you out. But it was true. This this actually happened. And Oliver said, I think we should go find mommy. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s a good idea. Good. Good call. Sweet Child. And so I stumbled back into the house. Dear, I think I have a concussion. What should I What should I do? And it was hilarious, because I said, Can you look at my eyes, I need to see if my eyes are dilated? I

Producer 6:56
don’t understand what exactly died or die. You die. You later. What is What are you talking? What does that mean? I don’t I’m not a medical professional. I’m there. So fraud, who is good at producing a bandit.

Natty Bumpercar 7:08
Very good at it. Yes. So dilated, it just basically means so there’s in the center of your eye, there’s something called a pupil. It’s like the little circle black part. And that’s actually how the light gets into your eyes. And that’s the whole thing. But sometimes, if they’re really big or really small, then you can kind of see that there’s stuff going on with them. And she said, and so and when you have a concussion, that’s one of the things that they check. They’re like, let’s look at your eyes and see if your pupils are dilated. And so she looked at my eyes and she said, I don’t know, I think that one is bigger than that one talking about my eyes. And I was and she’s like, but I don’t know if that’s just because of where you are in relation to the the light in the room. And, like, I don’t think that’s how it works. But you know, and then I said, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go take a shower. So I did that I went, I took a shower. And definitely was feeling pretty pretty off. Now.

Rufus T. Rufus 8:10
I’m feeling pretty off. It’s just something that is it. Can we sue this box?

I mean, I don’t want to be litigious this early in the new year, but I am the lawyer. So I just think I could probably look into it. And there’s a there’s a box have any kind of assets that we can go and

Aloysius J. Pig 8:27
settle down roof is I keep telling story bumper,

Natty Bumpercar 8:29
okay. So my whole life, I’ve been told, if you have a concussion, don’t go to sleep. But then I went on the internet and they said, Hey, you can go to sleep. And I was like, okay, and I fully am aware and know that I could have gotten any answer that I wanted. And I was very tired. It was like at 930 at night, and I went to sleep. And I slept all day. The next day. It was a Saturday. And I really I felt like I couldn’t move. I was just on the couch. And Saturday night, a friend of mine, Dave from Cedar beans coffee joint where I host the Thursday open mic, the caffeinated open mic. It was their four year anniversary, and I was I got up and I was like I am gonna go to this thing. And my wife was like, I don’t want you to go to that thing. And I was like, I have to go to this thing. And she’s like, again, I would rather you not go to the thing. So I went to the thing. And I took all of her with me. And I got there and within like a minute and a half all the noise and the people in the lights. I was like this was a mistake. I’ve made a terrible mistake. And I found a mom like a friend of Oliver’s mom and I said can I give him to you? And they’re like, yeah, what are you doing? I was like, I wanted to go to the emergency room. And so I did that. And they ran me through all kinds of tests and they were like, Yeah, you you have got a concussion and I was like I yeah, I know, I know. And that’s really all they did. They were like, alright, you just got to take it easy for might take a couple of weeks and good luck to you. Now I was like, Ah, all right. And so so that was the that was in November. That was the week before Thanksgiving. And then Thanksgiving happened. And we had all kinds of people at our house and I overextended myself. And so I made it worse, because that’s what I tend to do. So, Santa, if you could tell Turkey that that’s why he wasn’t on the podcast in November,

Santa 10:33
all of a sudden, Santa I’m being your messenger. That’s fine. Well, I’m terribly sorry about your head. And I hope that you’re doing things to reconcile that situation and that you’re going to take better care of yourself and live here.

Natty Bumpercar 10:48
I absolutely will. I promise steps have been taken. I got smaller containers. So I don’t have these monstrous containers to get down. And yes, I’m definitely going to try. It’s funny, every single doctor that I ever talked to, they’re like, are you taking care of yourself? And I’m like, no. So much, not so much. It’s not really what I do. I don’t take care of myself a lot. And they were like, You should probably start. And I’m like, okay, like I do it. But grudgingly I don’t know if you if you do that when you go to the doctor, but I’m like,

fine. I’ll take care of myself. Blah, blah, you know?

Santa 11:25
Yes. And that’s yeah, I do appreciate that. Very much. I do. I tend to overextend myself as well, especially at towards the end of the year where there’s a lot going on and I have to go around all the places and this elves in the building things and the rain do you have to take care of them and so I understand what about Pat what happened in December because I also was not on the podcast.

Producer 11:53
All right, actually. Sorry to interrupt. Natty and Mr. Claus. i This is producer. We only have 30 seconds to go on the show. So maybe we can you can test it. Can you I know you’re busy man. You made it back next week. Oh man, figure it out. Are

Rufus T. Rufus 12:10
you seriously asking sam I’m so cool back on the show. I’m

Natty Bumpercar 12:14
terribly sorry Santa, but we I don’t know what to do I

Aloysius J. Pig 12:17
and scene

Natty Bumpercar 12:20
did you just hang up on Santa Claus.

Aloysius J. Pig 12:23
shows gonna end shows

Natty Bumpercar 12:26
do not answer that no one answered the phone just run.

Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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Every week, Natty Bumpercar presents a few ounces of ridiculousness with a dash or two of stupefaction. It's totes banoo!