Category: Bumperpodcast

So here I sit. In my castle. Whiling my time away. I can get a mite bored – so I talk to my dog – but he usually doesn’t have much to say. So now I talk to a mic – because that’s less crazy – and it’s easy to convince myself that I am just procrastinating . . . and not being lazy. So – thanks for the listen – you get a gold star. Hopefully you will enjoy what you hear. Hardy-har-har-har.

Bumperpodcast #407 – Season 2 – Mystery

Natty is thrilled to be in the studio — and is even more thrilled when a couple of his old pals show up!

The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar.

And – and – and — Natty Bumpercar is now an Ambassador for the Improv channel on Vurbl!! Here is a link to that page: https://vurbl.com/browse/comedy/improv/ go hang out — it’ll be fun!!

Another story about saving baby animals!

A feel good story!

Previous episode!

Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

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[av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-6vzgjv’ sc_version=’1.0′]
Natty Bumpercar 0:03
Well, well. Well, well, well, if it isn’t the bumper broadcast. There’s sirens outside. They’re coming to get me. For what? For not recording a podcast the last couple of weeks I’ve been busy. The holiday season, it’s holiday season it cetera, et cetera.

Rufus T. Rufus 0:28
Is that just gonna? Are you just gonna? You seem like you’re in good spirits, Natalie, but well, you know, what is holiday season? Sorry. It’s already Yeah, I

Natty Bumpercar 0:41
understand. No, Rufus. It’s I’m just happy to be here. And I’m thrilled. And I’m in the bumper barn. And you know what, we’ve made a lot of progress. I would say that we are about six 70% Done with the insulation, which means I can be in here. Well, it’s really I can be in here because it’s like 62 degrees, which in December is weird and scary. And but we’re just gonna roll with it and try to make lemons out of lemonade. Well, that’s not something we can do. Is that so? Is it. A big Do we have a recipe to turn lemons into lemonade? Lemonade? Lemonade in the lemon?

Producer 1:24
No, I don’t I don’t we she’s not here yet for these shots, right? But I don’t know if you need recipe bursting here in the lab where we make the bumper pad case. Okay, here and get quieter. Yep, sorry. I’m not really entirely sure if we have those.

Natty Bumpercar 1:40
You know what, you’re probably right. I usually they’re probably in the kitchen or maybe in the library, but it makes sense that they are not here in the studio because we don’t cook here. So why would we need

Peanut Lou 1:52
to hire me Pina loo? I haven’t been on the podcast. Yo. Yeah, I forgot what I’m supposed to do here. Anybody please tell me what I’m supposed to do on the

Natty Bumpercar 2:05
piano below. knows what’s going on kitty cat man

Spot Elliot 2:16
is going on. It’s me.

Natty Bumpercar 2:22
Yeah, what’s going on? For anyone who doesn’t know because they have not been on the show in a long time. Spot Elliot and peanut Lou. Were cats that I rescued a long time ago and they’re best friends. And they’re so sweet. And I love them to pieces.

Peanut Lou 2:39
So so so so so buttons we I keep wanting to find who I see you.

Rufus T. Rufus 2:49
You know it? I love talking to new people who has it? Who is it? I’m so excited. Why are you why are you so you’re very amped on this episode. Now there were two almost three minutes in it if your energy is F is too much if I’m to be honest, let’s Can we just tamp it down a little bit fine.

Producer 3:06
I was going to say something but you know cuz I’m producing the whole show. So my name is on the credit in so yeah, this it really impacts me if you are acting the little looky loo and you’re going out and people are like our producers on that chair. I don’t know if I want to hire him. And I’m like, oh, please hire me because just don’t ignore the horse. If you could just focus on the engineering but the producing

Unknown Speaker 3:32
anyway, so he special guest Okay, hold on. Here we go.

Santa 3:37
Well, Lou, it’s wonderful to see. I’m so happy to be here on this. DREW. Is everyone been nice to show I’ve been a bit naughty.

Rufus T. Rufus 3:51
I’d like to know you’re saying I don’t like you. And it’s nice to be here. Obviously everyone loves it when Santa Claus comes into town. However, you can’t just come in and immediately start asking people if they have been naughty or they have been nice it’s it’s they have the rights you understand as citizens of the United States of America. And so for you to start implying and infer and that maybe they haven’t been on the ice is a little bit too much

Santa 4:21
Now Rufus ervice it’s wonderful for you to be here. First and foremost, I have a couple of issues or a couple of bones to pick with you if you if you don’t mind. I have been keeping my eye on everyone but you in particular have have certainly caught my eye over the course of a year. What

Natty Bumpercar 4:44
did you do? What did you do? What did you do? Why are you sad? Oh, you’re in trouble. Oh,

Rufus T. Rufus 4:53
no, I will not have the spotlight of injustice turned upon me. As the light is so bright that when you shine it upon me, you will see that I have done nothing incorrect. Nothing, introspect, nothing that you would ever reject. I say to you that I’ve been wonderful this year, everybody knows that you can look at my Yelp reviews, up to a 3.5 star rating. That’s three and a half out of five. So I feel like this year I’ve really turned things around.

Santa 5:31
Of course, you’ve turned things around reviews, but it’s not all about the star ratings and star reviews you understand. It’s about did you help anyone? Were you kind to anyone? Did you give of yourself? Did you did you go out of your way to try to make someone feel better? Did you notice that someone was down and think to yourself, I couldn’t pick them up? I can help them out. Right? Did you do any of these?

Producer 6:02
I didn’t know that this one time that I was in the hallway. And I was working on some wiring systems and Rufus was trying to get through and he did he picked me Oh, okay, so he picked you up. So that’s what you’re talking about? Yes. But then he just moved me to design I don’t know if he’s the type of peeking you’re talking about you actually physically oh boy picked up and kind of he was really tossed to me didn’t really display down he could have just very busy lifted me and then we’re talking about

Santa 6:40
No No, obviously this is not the type of pick me up that we’re talking about when talking about emotionally picking people up when they’re down in despair when they’re in the dumps when they’re sad. This however, this feels like borderline assault if I’m to be completely honest, Rufus. For the moment I feel like you’re not on the nice list. You’re not on any list at all. You’re kind of in between lists if you will. I know most people don’t even realize that but I do have those the naughty list and there’s a nice list but there’s also kind of this in between list that will that we’re gonna sit you upon right now you’re on. You’re on the fence as it were.

Unknown Speaker 7:24
So I’m noticing something kind of strange. Yeah, I’m dying Santa Claus. Santa Wilbur like Well, first

Natty Bumpercar 7:31
off, I noticed that too. Peanut Lou and I it’s kind of strange. Because every time Santa comes in the room, Rufus leaves the room and every time Rufus is in the rooms, waiting, every time Sam is in the room, Rufus leaves the room and every time Rufus is in the room, Santa leaves. Yeah, you guys aren’t ever in the room at the same time right now. No roof is it’s just you what’s going

Rufus T. Rufus 7:55
on? You’re being a bit conspiratorial, and there’s nothing to see. I think you know, Sam is obviously a very busy man. I’m a very busy man myself. We’re in the time of year right now. People need lawyers more than they need. I don’t know fishing the sea or whatever that the phrase is. People need lawyers more than they need a honey bee now that just rhymed. It didn’t make any more sense. I did it people need lawyers more than wool socks. I use the phrase good No, you’re usually better off usually I am. But yeah, no, I’m not.

Natty Bumpercar 8:34
Are you a little You seem like you’re a little bit flustered. Maybe a little bit freaked out is that is what’s going on.

Santa 8:41
Now. Rufus has had to leave the room as he had a lot of things. He had other engagements to take care of. But now I sent him here to talk to everybody. Now, Rufus, I feel like again, you’re on the fence, but I know that you can probably pull it all together. I believe in you and you should also believe in yourself.

Aloysius J. Pig 9:03
Hi, everybody. It’s me Aloysius. JPEGs really weird energy in the room right now. I Santa’s I guess is here. Wow. Spawn le and Vina Lu What’s up kids? You guy What are you doing? Are you bad seniors so long. We’re

Spot Elliot 9:21
just hanging out here. So I used to do I do talk he does sing now what’s right and you give me honest, your voice seems to be a lot deeper.

Peanut Lou 9:32
Yes. He’s got some sort of a Trojan going on how it’s happening. Really? Yeah, he’s your wife. Oh, I do a lot deeper. Yeah, you’re right.

Aloysius J. Pig 9:42
But you sound just like you normally did so I but it’s anyway, it’s splendid to see you guys with an agenda room. Has anybody seen real fast?

Natty Bumpercar 9:50

No, but it’s weird because every time Rufus talks san is not here, and every time Santa talks, Rufus isn’t here. I think there’s something strange going on with your hours

Producer 9:59
so far. Just To say that it totes banoo because you say that this whole situation is taught.

Natty Bumpercar 10:04
Not only what I say it’s totes banoo, but I would say it’s a total mystery

Outro 10:20
the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs in hearts See you soon.

NonPro 11:39
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
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December 18, 2021
Bumperpodcast #406 – Season 2 – People in the house

Something odd is happening at Headquarters. There are people that no one knows — IN THE HOUSE. The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!
Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-kw54nusa’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-kw54nt8g’ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:03 There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. Rufus T. Rufus 0:25 Oh, no, excuse me, that is just a new song you’re singing? Are there actually people in the domicile that we are not familiar with that we are not have not been properly identified and, you know, checked out and whatnot. And there Natty Bumpercar 0:40 there are people in my house. And I don’t know who they are. Producer 0:45 Okay, hold on one second here, because I’m trying to look over the schedule here to see how you’re supposed to be in the house and the don’t know, there’s no one listed in SA what I’m going to say also don’t mean, I’m not trying to be facetious is that I think that there are some people in the house and maybe we don’t know who they are. Exactly. All Unknown Speaker 1:05 right. Well, now as as a lawyer, I am the closest to a law enforcement officer here. And so I think that means courses that I’m gonna have to go inside and now they they launch people there and I shouldn’t be intimidated. I’m a little bit nervous if I’m to be on. Natty Bumpercar 1:24 There are people in the house and I don’t I don’t know who they are. All right. People in the house. And I don’t know who they are. Producer 1:33 Yes, sir. I’m hearing from you. Nadine, you’re doing a very good job of I think trying to illustrate the situation and to really let us know what’s going on. He said there are so people who are inside of the house right now. And you don’t exactly Rufus T. Rufus 1:50 I’m catching the same drift over here, producer. anybody’s seen piggy Lu ello issues. Maybe he has some insight into the situation. There’s some people in my house and I don’t know who they are. Natty Bumpercar 2:05 There’s people in my house and I don’t know who they are. Producer 2:27 So I’m looking at this is it? I mean, it does look like a parrot. I mean, hmm. This is more of a sketch. I think it’s a doodle. You don’t he didn’t really mean you captured some things on it. But I can’t really tell from your drawing who it is. People might be many information you got maybe names, anything. Doodle Poodle 2:49 I don’t usually draw names. I just kinda like to draw pictures. So no. Rufus T. Rufus 3:03 Yeah, well, yeah, I’m so glad that your name isn’t God dog. Boom, I guess I wouldn’t work as well God because you’re not very good guard dog is what I’m saying. You’re really instincts do not lean towards protecting the house. The moves, look at these drawings. So is everybody here? Alright, it looks like we got two or three. Okay. And it looks like where you have drawn them. This seems to be in the near the foyer. Doodle Poodle 3:37 Say for you Rufus T. Rufus 3:40 know, it’s just you know, as learning different language, different accents, or whatever I say for you. Well, yeah, I understand. You Producer 3:48 know, when I was growing up, we used to say the five years well, he sounded more fancy. He’s like we say, are you going to go through the fire? Yay. You’re going to see the surfer. Read the chaise lounge. You’re going to go past that. Some people say Oh, I go into the Foreo and I got to pass the couch is like come on, man. This is nicer stuff. This is just lounge and this for a year. So Natty Bumpercar 4:16 there’s people in the house right and and and and and and I don’t know who they are. Okay, there’s people Ah, yeah. Inside the house. And and I don’t know I don’t know where they are. No, no. Rufus T. Rufus 4:32 I hesitate to ask this of course. But it’s a sensitive situation but now you’re going a little bit looky loo right now. It does seem and feel a little bit like a little a little loop de loop. People Producer 4:51 they are dry. You know, we all kind of live here in all of our house that kind of nervous about the people you In the currently done, you don’t really even know Rufus T. Rufus 5:04 taking control of the situation the next person or dog or frog anyone who says that phrase is going to be out on the sidewalk taking a break because we understand the whole thing we understand the situation that we’re in. We don’t need to keep repetitively repeating it and one up and repeating the one up and too often, because that’s just too much All right, everybody calm down. We’re gonna figure this situation out. Hey, everybody, it’s me. Aloysius jpg coming in. And why is everybody so freaked out about I can see it on your faces. Holy cow. What did I just walk into? Well, Natty Bumpercar 5:43 so there’s some people who are inside of the house. Right? Who we and we don’t know who they are. Yeah, Rufus T. Rufus 5:50 I’m gonna let that one slide because he elevations did just as exactly what you saw. I understand what just happened there. Oh, yeah. Like, seriously, you guys are freaked out about you don’t know what that is. This is hilarious. I didn’t even realize we were doing a podcast. Like I thought we were done doing it. I mean, I looked at the schedule and it was just like a Halloween we did a show and it’s been like a long time and so I thought that we maybe you guys had just moved on to something else. Like maybe you’re just making NF TS or whatever. I don’t know the bump of pod can NF T’s i don’t i don’t know maybe crypto coins? I don’t know whatever you kids do these days. No but so we’re recording an episode right now Producer 6:31 if you’ve recovered the light over there says on the air that we need to be recording we’re not actually on the air as we’re doing a bad case so we’re on the computer but they didn’t have a light that said on computer you understand I also I thought it’d be very confusing if we did you said on computer because he realized what are we doing on the computer I don’t understand your your recording you’re gone gone computer and it is still a red light or is it just for on air? And so you just really a lot of variables and things to look into for me you know, I’m very busy too. Yeah, so Rufus T. Rufus 7:06 so it has been a long time we’ve been very busy and it’s been chilly. In fact, we’ve been chilly out here in the old bumper barn and we’re still working on getting it insulated and people are not responding to calls and you know hopefully we’ll be able to get in here soon and record or we’re gonna have to move all the equipment back over the into the house with the people on we don’t know Aloysius J. Pig 7:30 ah okay, I guess that makes sense. So anyway the people who already own the house or who you guys don’t know but I think you actually don’t own them. They were just dropping somebody off Doodle Poodle 7:43 three people said I’m curious cuz I made a drawing. And who are they dropping? Rufus T. Rufus 7:49 Let me see that. Drew No no, you missed it totally if you didn’t look down the person they were dropping off I mean I really a person it’s a one he only ladies in case char Natty Bumpercar 7:59 gay Wait a minute, so there were some people inside my house and I didn’t know who they are and the whole time they were just dropping you off Turkey I haven’t seen you in a year this isn’t Sam so happy to see you. Rufus T. Rufus 8:20 Good. So now evidently he can see other things perfect and now this episode can take off for only eight and a half minutes in so now I guess we can just pretend like nothing happened Aloysius J. Pig 8:37 yeah, exactly. It’s a beautiful song that you just saying. It’s a turkey is here of course it’s his yearly tradition to come into our house be on the podcast to well, you know to hide from all the people because it is Thanksgiving and we give him safe refuge. And it’s good good thing we toe every year right and every year you come back you spread the turkey word you let people know about Turkey issues Turkey dealings Turkey whatnot etc Producer 9:15 Oh yeah, yeah, no, he’s not kidding around. I know I’ve read the articles as well if you’ve been really prolific in the last year with your writing and everything it’s it’s it’s almost like poetry you’re not you’re the way you write about these issues is it’s gripping in it really yeah did did pulls on my heartstrings. Yeah, we Natty Bumpercar 9:33 actually we subscribed to all the magazines and everything Turkey because we wanted them and we put up an alert a turkey alert so that we could make sure that anytime you published anything that we could read it because it’s it’s you’re great and we love having you around. I’m so sorry. This episode got off to a strange start and it’s not just because we haven’t been recording a lot lady. It’s just it’s just it’s been a lot Rufus T. Rufus 9:53 not to freak anyone out but I just looked through the window and I saw some people walking around the house and I’m just I’m blown nervous because I don’t know who they are. Oh wait what Natty Bumpercar 10:04 is people asked me know who they are Outro 10:20 the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs in hearts See you soon. NonPro 11:39 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]

November 18, 2021
Bumperpodcast #405 – Season 2 – Halloween

It’s a scarifying (scary and terrifying) Halloween episode where all of the calls are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!
The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!
Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-kve16v7s’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-kve16tl4′ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:04 What’s that? You said the calls coming from inside the house but doesn’t even make sense. It’s not how phones work. I mean, we don’t even have a landline so if there’s a phone call that’s happening and I’m inside the house and then the people have their cell phones and I guess the call can be coming from inside the house, but I don’t know if they can pinpoint it. That exact do they know where exactly where phone calls are coming from and so they can see on some sort of a map or something that the calls are coming from inside the house. Hmm, ah, is it an intercom maybe Is that what’s happening? No, Rufus T. Rufus 0:41 no, no, no, no, I believe we had signed some sort of paperwork and we got a telephone utensils that Sam but we would have to disclose and just quantify exactly where we were located. When we were making the telephone call. I’m looking around I don’t know if you can hear me I’m but I am looking around. I did hear the phone ring. And I heard the call. But I mean, could it possibly be coming from inside of the house? Producer 1:11 Hey, everybody, it’s me producer. I do normally know how the television works is you make a telephone call with the buttons in the Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing and if them the numbers is Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing and you can make the phone calling and your thing allow you have the conversation and everything but I don’t know exactly the technically speaking. Natty Bumpercar 1:33 Pretty. Producer, producer. Stop. Do you? No, no. What are you talking? Yeah, no. Producer 1:37 Okay. Yeah, no, I don’t I am saying I don’t know. Natty Bumpercar 1:41 Yeah, you went through all of that to say you don’t know. You’ll be like that’s that’s not even how people dial phones because no one knows any numbers are just like search for and then they push one it’s like beep and then they call the person call producer beep like it’s not Beep beep beep beep beep i don’t know phone number. I don’t even know my phone number. I had to fill out a form the other day and it said what’s your phone number? And I said no, I wish you would tell me is what I said to that form. And you know what that form said to me Aloysius J. Pig 2:12 and Bing nothing is that what the exactly Yeah, nothing makes sense because it’s a form forms don’t talk forms I like buckets that we take our information too. And we bring it to the bucket the bucket says name I’m going to bring my name to that bucket phone number I’m going to bring my phone number to that bucket you understand show if we can set it it forms I like buckets and we know that bucket actually do not talk then we know that forms will then not talk Am I Am I right Rufus T. Rufus 2:54 now when I had to take all the quizzes or tests whatever they offer to get into law school now there was one in particular that would say something like go banana is to a red panda as a lemonade is to eliminate stand and so you see that they’re making comparisons a con contrast and compare yeah contrast and compare Okay, Natty Bumpercar 3:30 do you understand no I mean I don’t I mean a banana to a What was it again? Producer 3:40 There’s a rat Natty Bumpercar 3:42 All right, it was a red panda got it wow you guys are both you guys both get your good listener badges today Rufus T. Rufus 3:50 Hold on a second I didn’t realize that we were still doing the badges I had donated those done some police buy was a box it said insert your badges and leave them tomorrow and the whole box it was a crate really a badges Natty Bumpercar 4:05 we had those in storage those huh? All right, guys. So you’re not going to get badges and I apologize. Because we don’t have me I’m not gonna order badges just for this. I don’t have any badges. I was supposed to incentivize you guys if I don’t have any badges. Rufus T. Rufus 4:21 I do apologize. However, I will point out that we did have a meeting whereby we were told to purge the extras the extra stuff because it were and we’ll let you know what let’s always I thought we talked about that. That bucket thing again. That was that was really interesting to me with the bucket Aloysius J. Pig 4:46 and I don’t want to talk about the bucket thing because I think I totally forgot that we were all obsessed and freaking out at the beginning of the episode. Yeah, it was a phone call. Yeah, it was coming from and cy da how good call Natty Bumpercar 4:58 pig because We never really figured that out. We got off track a few. We got off on several different tracks. And yeah, there was a phone call that is coming from inside the house, everybody. And I think it’s very serious because you know, what, to what tomorrow is? Does anybody do you know, what Has anyone had looked at the calendar? I Producer 5:17 haven’t looked at the calendar. But I know it’s not garbage dial recycling, because it’s a weekend that we don’t they don’t don’t pick up on the it’s not easy, like a leaf kind of day. You’re gonna put pick up some some ground ground. Ground three, nothing. Still sitting the bundle round. No, no. Okay. No, that, Rufus T. Rufus 5:39 let’s see, I believe the post office is closed on the weekend. I don’t really know where it is no court open on the weekend. I’m PHARMAC. Those are really the places that I go to. I like to go to the post office sometimes. And then some other days. I’ll go to the court of law, obviously, fallen papers, mail and paid ticket papers up now. It’s not I can’t I can’t wrap my mind around what it might be Bumpercar I Aloysius J. Pig 6:10 don’t know why you let them on the microphone. Obviously. It’s Halloween tomorrow, everybody. It’s Halloween. That’s why we’re freaking out. Because there’s a scary phone call that came from inside the house. It’s a it’s a thing that happens in Halloween type movies, scary movies. And people are like, Oh my god. Yep. There’s a phone call. Yep. And it’s coming from inside of the house. Yeah. Natty Bumpercar 6:31 So thank you, pig for getting us back on track and letting everyone know how serious his situation is. Because we’re all sitting in this room together. So we’re not calling each other. So that means that somebody else some random person is calling us and it’s right next to Halloween, which makes it extra scary because we don’t know who it is. And it could just be could be anyone in there if they’re already inside the house. Like why are they calling us? Why aren’t they just coming in? Or I don’t know what Rufus T. Rufus 7:02 movie? Am I telling him to start drinking? I don’t know we answer none. Aloysius J. Pig 7:05 Now you shouldn’t you know, whoever answers the phone is usually the one who goes so you should I don’t think you should. My phone is ringing Producer 7:14 our phones are ringing back same time. Even possible. who’s calling us from you? Natty Bumpercar 7:20 Guys, I want everyone to put your phone down right now. I’m I’m going to answer the phone. This is the bumper podcast. This is the I’m I’m this is my responsibility. And I’m going to answer the phone. Take a deep breath. Wish me luck. Hello. Oh, okay. I am so sorry. I am I know. I am so sorry. Yeah, pick. Pickle. Pickle come and get you I am Yes, I know. It. Okay. I everyone I know you call. Yeah, you were caught. Okay. This is a I’m a pig. Yeah. Monster was stuck in the bathroom. The door got jammed. He was stuck. We all evidently forgot that he was here. Record a Halloween episode with us. Oh, you could? Aloysius J. Pig 8:21 Yeah, well Oh, Natty Bumpercar 8:23 he is really mad. Aloysius J. Pig 8:25 I don’t blame us this whole time. Okay, I’m gonna go I’m gonna scoot over and see oh man, it is hilarious. Rufus T. Rufus 8:33 Now you might think it’s funny I’ll always just pick a loo but there could be some serious troubles here we could be under some some scrutiny and some some some some eyes people that we don’t want looking at us because we did just unintentionally or intentionally I do not know lock someone in the restroom for an extended period of time. And they claim that we did that on purpose and that we was playing I don’t know what but we could this is kind of funny. Natty Bumpercar 9:12 I am so incredibly sorry. We that bathroom door has been have it’s been a problem for a while and we had somebody come in and work on it. And now it’s actually worse than it was before we had come out Aloysius J. Pig 9:32 all right. There’s no need to threaten anybody was a mistake. It was an accident. All right. We apologize. We as he said we had somebody come and look at the door. We know that he was going to be stalking Rufus T. Rufus 9:49 you well he does have a good point that we did know he was here. We all let him in the house. So we probably checked on that might have been a good thing to do as a host Natty Bumpercar 10:00 Call I agree. And again, I’m terribly sorry. And I’m even more sorry because we’re out of time on the episode so we don’t even get a chance to talk to. Outro 10:20 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs in hearts See you soon. NonPro 11:39 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]

October 30, 2021
Bumperpodcast #404 – Season 2 – Remix

Natty causes a real stir with how he decides to start this weeks podcast … The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!
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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-kussxcu4′ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-kussxa9j’ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:06 All right, I guess. Here we go. I said Hey, how you doing? Everybody coming around? It’s me Natty Bumpercar and I’m upping your town. It’s the bumper podcast and we’re gonna have some fun and we’re gonna sing just a little bit number one, number two, I don’t know number three here we go Should I go on and on or should I no no drop the music no music Hey, it’s me peg. That was what ridiculous whatever you just did. Let’s get back to some more traditional music something that makes a little bit more sense. But a BRAC background excuse me of a podcast like this There we go. And see it’s a little bit more mellow you see because you don’t want to I mean you’re starting the show and you’re just jumping all over people produce Who is this you Producer 1:01 messing with the wires? No, no, I did not make any of the decisions it’s me producer and I did not decide to make the the funky hip hop be there was too much I thought it was like why are we going to vintage breaks for the background of a podcast. Hello, you just go Hey, I’m going to create United Kingdom Natty Bumpercar 1:22 but I feel like I did say hello didn’t I think I was like hey how you doing that was I think maybe it was one of the I don’t remember what I said honestly. But it was one of the first things that I said and I thought it would be like chipper like hey, we’re starting off with a funky beat like my funky beat like that. But you don’t agree Aloysius J. Pig 1:38 not only do like not agree I completely and totally disagree. Natty Bumpercar 1:42 I disagree. I’m the opposite of a great I disagree if you understand it’s like well, it’s it’s Yeah, I agree I Rufus T. Rufus 1:52 ever wanted to meet Rufus, to Rufus, the residential resident lawyer here, and I listened to what’s going on, I’m gonna just litigate a little bit because I do I’m gonna step in to the free and I’m gonna try to understand some of the mitigating factors. I don’t as it were, okay, cool. Natty Bumpercar 2:14 Hi, Rufus. So I decided to start the show off with what I thought was like a fun kind of, I don’t know old school hip hop. He kind of beat Poppy. That’s like what rabbits know. Hey, what a rap is listen to hip hop. Come on, he and I. And and evidently it upset pig. Oh, dude. I mean, now you even hear it. Hold on first. Before Rufus before you ate it. It didn’t upset me. But what I took umbrage with. He’s just, you just jumped right into it’s like throwing a bucket of cold water. These people, they’re driving around in their cars, whatever they however, you listen to your podcast, and all of a sudden, they’re like, I’m in traffic, and then you just hit slam boop, boop, boop, boop, Aloysius J. Pig 3:00 I don’t see a lot. Rufus T. Rufus 3:01 Now hold on a second. Now people actually listen to this while they’re in town. People are driving while they’re listening to their show. Because if so, I’m going to have to go through my books, my books of law, my books of justice, my books of vengeance, Natty Bumpercar 3:18 vengeance. What? Rufus T. Rufus 3:20 Just kidding about that last ball? Natty Bumpercar 3:23 Okay, go and go into your law books, I guess and research it well. What are you going to research out? Rufus T. Rufus 3:29 Wow. What I was going to look into is if people are listening to this while they’re doing things, all we rely reliable, that’s not the word responsible. Are we responsible for them while they are listening to us? You understand? So let’s say we’ll take a random example. Let’s say Sousa squirrel. She’s out driving around picking up a baby squirrel children and go into the nuts store after school so that they can have a delicious dinner. And what I’m wondering is if Susie is squirrel, or one of her children, you know her children, I believe that Sammis squirrels skip the squirrel, sand squirrel. stew, squirrel world, as you know, is number 50 different squirrel children and maybe one of them listens to your show. And if anyone in that vehicle puts this show on to the radio, are we then going to be responsible for anything that happens while they listen to the show? Natty Bumpercar 4:40 No, I don’t think so. I mean, they’re just it’s like they’re listening to. I mean, it’s not music. I mean, it was music at the very beginning, but it’s a podcast. And so if you know they’re just passively listening, podcasting is really it’s really passive when you’re doing it. It’s not an active thing. It’s not like this is a quiz show or like Phone in and be the fifth fifth caller to win. staying out Rufus T. Rufus 5:04 wait a minute now what do you just brought up an interesting point there? Now we’re going to start doing raffles trick and trays or tickets or anything like that, like, do I need to go out and purchase a roll of tickets? And if so what color because they come in a rainbow of different a variety of colors and sometimes the tickets, just one ticket down the line. Sometimes it’s two tickets, so you take one, you get one, I get one and then what you know what? So there’s a lot of legwork that’s gonna have to happen I’m gonna make sure that we’re good with the commission of coffee can alley here to be able to actually enact such things? Natty Bumpercar 5:50 Rufus you’re missing the point. Okay. It’s just you know, about rainfalls. This isn’t about what are we responsible for? It’s about he started to show off with a Silly Song and I was just saying it was inappropriate to hit people with I think I said a bucket of cold cold something I don’t remember what I said. But he right off the bat right normally with a podcast I’ve been I’ve been listening to him I’ve been doing a lot of reshot Jake Sully and with the people though he say go Hello Hello On today’s episode we are going to be talking about path pay or something like that you know and then they talk they actually talk about pate to the whole thing they’re not jumping around and not skipping around they’re like you know having to they sit down and sit at a table maybe maybe they stand I don’t know. And then they’re like what are we gonna talk about on today’s podcast? This Producer 6:46 is exactly what I was trying to do I was trying to happy producers meeting so that we could all get together in you know, having conversation maybe about what the podcast was going to be that day and what they’re going to talk about and so then we could also you know, hire experts to come into the shop or in doing the interviews like we used to do sometimes and we could really do a deep dive as well as I think they call it and we could get to the bottom of a few things you know I do research though I’ve been reading this newsletter magazines and the flyers a lot of flyers about the podcast starts crying Natty Bumpercar 7:25 I’m glad that you guys are doing all this research. That’s amazing. I had no idea that you guys were doing all that I I feel like I should be doing research Susan’s My name is on the show, but that’s okay. Let’s you know what i like the idea of having a meeting and discussing what the show’s topic will be and we can even you know we can like yeah, like today we’re gonna talk about you know, whatever it is and then we can actually try to do that to I don’t even know if we could do Rufus T. Rufus 7:55 I don’t listen, I think people tend to understand appreciate the wild wooliness the show it can it can go anywhere at any time. And then the second and I don’t know if the proper way to move forward would be to you know, say put up a lot of structure. I think that would confuse people and they might be like, Well what show is this now? I were 404 episodes into this bumper podcast and all of a sudden you’re going to tell me that you’re going to talk about I don’t know slinkys Natty Bumpercar 8:30 I mean slinkys is that’s actually a pretty growing up I remember slinkys I used to thought they were magic with being Producer 8:37 a frog we’d never had slinkys because you know we will get them and then they will met them and then they would always rust and he was just very sad. So we could talk about that too. I guess now Rufus T. Rufus 8:46 I obviously I feel like I was just using slink as kind of an example we don’t i don’t mean that we’re gonna do that. I was I was like, using like, people still in business school those that say you’re going to start a company and you’re going to be selling widgets. widgets. Natty Bumpercar 9:03 I love widgets to widgets are super fun. Like, I remember growing up and you could just go out and buy a box of widgets. And it was just like, what are we gonna do tonight? I don’t know. I guess we’re gonna play with these widgets See. Now I feel a little bit left out because we didn’t have widgets where I grew up was that what is that like a southern thing? Producer 9:20 So we reordered widgets, you could get them in a box of cereal and there was I remember my mom was she was always like, hey, producer, but Natty Bumpercar 9:29 your name is actually producer. Producer 9:30 Yes. It’s my name is what I did. Yeah. Okay. But anyway, she would say producer, you’d be careful when you open your cereal. Because if you pour and you don’t pay attention, you could always end up eating a widget and it’s not gonna taste good by the way. Natty Bumpercar 9:47 It’s not gonna taste good at all, which I mean, that’s like metal and plastic and whatever, like, clearly Wow, you have a very good caring mom, producer. What is it kind of under your name is actually producer I thought we just kind of like that was Hey, you’re doing the producing we’re gonna call you No sir, that reminds me I was gonna get a new key card system for the entrance to the podcast, Katia button bumper, whatever we are, we’re, we’re in headquarters in coffee-can alley currently we’re in the bumper barn, which is where we do the recording. That’s what studio is, as you saying, Rufus T. Rufus 10:21 Don’t Don’t make fun of how I speak I’ve got an accent and I’m proud of it. It is, it is baked into me than it is how I talk and it is how I walk in it is who I am. Anyway. I have a keycard system that’s going to be installed at some point. We’re going to be doing hand scans, retinal scans, we’re going to take all kinds of information and be properly buttoned up around here there’s just too much frivolity as far as who’s coming in and who’s going in and who’s starting the shows off without anybody else. No one about anything you want to stand when I’m catching my drift. Natty Bumpercar 11:00 No, I don’t understand what you’re catching your drift. I think that’s probably a swipe at me because again, I started the show off with a Silly Song but producer is the one who actually pushes the buttons and I’m not throwing him under the proverbial producer bus. But you know, I I don’t push buttons. I just, I just talk. Aloysius J. Pig 11:20 Yeah, so Natty Bumpercar 11:21 I guess I’m cool with this whole cod key card Do I have to carry a card around? I don’t even have a wallet. Producer 11:29 So everyone can we’re going to hand out these these zip tie dongles that you can put around you and your card goes on it and then you just can zip it up in zip and then boom and then you Natty Bumpercar 11:43 I don’t wait where did music go? What just happened? There’s Rufus T. Rufus 11:46 no bad Who did that? Who did somebody just turn that off? What’s happening right now? Natty Bumpercar 11:51 This is very strange. I don’t know what could have possibly happened. Producer What do you think? We’re back. We’re back. Everybody, everybody we’re back. We got the fun music back end. We’re going to attack we’re gonna shake and wiggle and do a little dance. We’re gonna jump around and do a lot of prancing like we’re deer in the woods or run in through the woods. Aloysius J. Pig 12:21 Aloysius dandy, I’m sweeter than candy. I got on to the aquarium so I can hang with the fish. Producer 12:29 For there, sir. guards around and round, around and around and around and around then all around Yeah. rounders are hurry. I go round and round arm up and down and all around good. Hi. Rufus T. Rufus 12:44 My name is Rufus G. Rufus. And I’m not going to even acknowledge what’s happening. Right now even though this is catchy music than I anticipated. Doodle Poodle 13:02 Everybody I’d like to draw, draw and draw doodle. I’m gonna use sometimes I use sometimes I even Natty Bumpercar 13:16 Okay, doodle Aloysius producer and Rufus and me Natty Bumpercar. That’s that’s the crew. Now everybody get up and dance and clap your hands because this is a show that we call the bumperpodcast. Now, let’s cut. Cut cut cut the music. Can you cut it off? Thanks, robot. It’s great to see you. I really felt like we had a real crew a real vibe going real jam. And even bumper pod cut bumper What’s his name? Bumpercar where he was like this is something that we call the bumper podcast that should have been the hot out right but you kind of jumped in I feel like maybe if you could have tried to come in earlier it would have worked a little bit better but uh Rufus T. Rufus 14:12 yeah, well you know, maybe maybe we’ll figure this out we’ll get it another day. I felt like we came pretty close with this episode, but I came off the rails. Yeah, it was a real No, I don’t know what Natty Bumpercar 14:24 I don’t want anybody to leave feeling bad. I thought that that was what happened. There was pretty fun and pretty awesome. And robot. I thought you did a great job. I do agree with pig that you kind of came in at what felt like the end of the song. But you know what I’m thinking this is what all the hip kids do these days. And hold on to your hats because I think you’re gonna probably love this idea. Producer. Are you ready for this? Producer 14:50 Yes, of course. It’s REMIX. Outro 15:05 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com. forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded, mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius JPG Rufus t Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar we also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar comm slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts See you soon. NonPro 16:25 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license please share it but asked before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]

October 15, 2021
Bumperpodcast #403 – Season 2 – Golfing

Natty and, really everyone, talks about a ridiculous situation that Natty recently got himself into. Listen. You’ll LOVE it! The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!
Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-kufn2ohn’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-kufn2n0c’ sc_version=’1.0′] Producer 0:05 Hello it’s me producer Eric and then here in the banter podcast, and today we’re going to play a new game. We’re gonna clean this right? Natty Bumpercar 0:14 Hey, hey, hey producer What’s going on? This is some wacky little music because there’s no I think all right, whatever. Hey everybody thanks producer I’m just gonna take it from here if you don’t mind Producer 0:26 totally, totally fine it’s your show and I’m just sharing just a frog over here in the pushing the buttons and doing the things and you know Rufus T. Rufus 0:39 now it’s it’s it’s it hold on one second. I got a little slow take on it. It Yeah. Night is Rufus my sound okay. All right. It is Rufus T. Rufus here and, producer. If you have a need to work on your contract, then of course, you know, who really who is to work with contact to in practice and who to interact with jack that would be all right. Natty Bumpercar 1:10 Hey, Rufus. So anyway, now it’s me Natty Bumpercar. And we’ve had a weird couple of weeks last week we talked about sad stuff the week before that was kind of sad when so now we’ve got this weird dude who did doo dee doo dee doo doo doo doo doo music that is I guess supposed to be happy. I don’t know who made this. Doodle Poodle 1:33 Hi, Natty, it’s me. Doodle Poodle. make music I like to make things. And sometimes people say that music notes look like drawings on pages. Aloysius J. Pig 1:56 Like, yeah, Natty. I don’t know. Like, what you’re two minutes into the episode. Who’s here so far? We got that. Rufus t roll fish over there. I think doodle portal we just heard produce show at yummy. I heard your talk for a second now. I’ll be Halloween. Yes. Well, what’s this episode about? anyway? That’s Natty Bumpercar 2:18 a great question. So this episode, so I haven’t been catching you guys up. I had three comedy shows last week, three night after night after night. And it was so much fun. But here’s the craziest thing that happened at one of them. It was an hour away. And I was so stressed out because there was a lot of traffic and I was supposed to get there at 645 No, wait. 630 I don’t know. But I was getting there at seven. And I was really nervous. And it was at a country club which is like a big golf course like a big fancy rich people golf course. And the way my map took me it took me past the main entrance which I didn’t even notice because I was so insanely late. You’re like my brain was like, Nah, and I wasn’t literally in through the back. I’ll wait to the back. Who am I was just gonna say oh, you bright? Well Aloysius J. Pig 3:15 you looped yellow. Rufus T. Rufus 3:16 Now hold on a second. If someone’s going to be looping looping today. I need to know about that. Because I’m gonna have to get the human resources department up and yeah, and and actuate some, some external Sam systems. No, I don’t even but I know it’s gonna be a situation. Natty Bumpercar 3:37 Great to know, no one was loop de loop. Everyone was fine. I was just, I was I was in such a rush. I wasn’t super paying attention. And then when it took me into the back, like there was a giant barn. And this big, big, big, big, big mountain of what it is that’s mulch and stuff. And I was like this and tractors were tractors, too. And I was like, well, this, this doesn’t seem this is this is weird. This isn’t a normal entrance to a big ritzy golf course. But you know, it makes if this is the way the blue line is pointing me then I guess this is the way I go. So I came in when behind or pass the barn around the hill of mulch. And then there were two roads, one to the left one to the right. The one to the left was overgrown and gravel. The one to the right, looked like it was kind of more of a road. And so I was like, Oh, well, clearly it’s the one to the right. And I started going that way and then the map was like, This isn’t the way you want to go. You want to go down this scary gravel road. And so I pulled back and I started going down that road. Now Rufus T. Rufus 4:43 I’m wondering as a lawyer of the law of the ball system, if I am going to have to recuse myself from the rest of this podcast as I don’t want to be implicated or infatuated. Or a regulated by whatever information you’re going to put out if I have to represent you Natty Bumpercar in a court of law then I don’t want to have let’s say split different Natty Bumpercar 5:16 split I don’t think you’re gonna have split differences from this situation but maybe you will Producer 5:25 I don’t know Natalie one time I went to a family reunion and the swamp inland we had several split differences that we still had to go to the doctor to diet and diet family frog family therapy to talk about with these split differences it’s been very difficult around the swamp I’ve taken to look at people I can talk to people I can do anything you know, and normally as frogs are very close in the family voted to recursively split rooms is very very difficult. Aloysius J. Pig 6:01 I’m pretty sure that split differences isn’t even a thing and it’s one of the one of the things that rolfers shows and we don’t as we talked about in the meeting for the podcast. Whenever robots or any of us you mostly say these ridiculous things. We don’t then have to respond to them as if they’re true or real. Okay, so if if Rufus is like are you gonna pay me in putting this week we don’t you don’t have to respond to that did they say I’m gonna pay you or I just to smile and walk away you could just smile that’s fine. Because what happens is we start to to simulate these things split differences in the bad case people listening they’re driving that do whatever they’re doing, they’re on their walks, maybe eating a scone I’m so hungry right now. But they hear these things and then they hear us continue to talk about them for a long time and they’re like Oh, do I do I need to learn about split differs? No, you don’t because? jibberish So anyway, yeah, I Natty Bumpercar 7:06 agree. Bumpercar Yeah, Aloysius J. Pig 7:07 were you trespassing I think that’s one of the fears Yeah, I Natty Bumpercar 7:10 don’t think I was I mean like because the map I mean, this isn’t my defense but like the map took me to this road and it took me behind the barn and so once I couldn’t go down the the seemingly more rodie Road is how I’m going to describe it and I had to go down this scary road right and it was like there was an overgrown like but like there were bushes like really close in and it was basically the width of the car like it was a tiny little road and I was again my brain was just like red flag doesn’t seem right. But I kept going and about a minute and a half in as I’m driving and it’s dark like really dark headlight it’s night everything I start looking around and I’m like well okay, I’m on this little road I’m just gonna go really slow and huh I’m right in the middle of the the golf course. Right in the middle of Zetas sand trap is this a hill like I’m in the Oh gosh, I think I might be on a golf cart path I think I might be driving on the golf golf car path in my car to this show to this benefit oh my gosh, what am I going to get and then Rufus T. Rufus 8:23 you’re going to get in big trouble because I’m looking over your insurance paperwork here and for the vehicle and nowhere does it state that you are allowed to be operating machinery upon the the links the golf course the greens the the the driving range though you know all these things. The front peg the back I don’t the whole the flag I don’t know a lot of stuff about golf courses. I’m just kind of rattling some stuff off You understand? But yeah, you clearly were against the grain this Natty Bumpercar 9:02 time I was against the grain I don’t care but like I was so nervous like I was freaking out because like I was at a point where I couldn’t back out because the road was just too tiny and I was I was like looking I put it in reverse and you have a little camera and the camera was just like I don’t I don’t think you should do it man. And I was like okay, so I’m just gonna keep going forward. And then out of nowhere this golf cart was on the garden it was flying at me like coming very fast. Aloysius J. Pig 9:34 Was it like a police golf cart? Do they have those didn’t have like lights? Was it like this is a golf cart police. Were gonna talk to you. I don’t know it wasn’t like that. Natty Bumpercar 9:46 I know it wasn’t like that. But I do appreciate the care as one reference there. So now but it was it was just a guy in a golf cart and coming at me real fast and my window was still Cuz he kind of appeared and came over to me quickly and he was yelling at me and I threw the glass in the car still running. And it wasn’t driving, but it was and I was just like, Hmm, I put up the hold on a second sign the with the finger like, excuse me, one second. I’m, I’m working on Producer 10:18 this. And by working on this, you mean you were working on making the window go down, it doesn’t really work and you push a button and goes down. It’s automatic. Natty Bumpercar 10:28 Yeah, fine. But I was just I was kind of freaked out. And it took me a second to push the button and it went down. And the guy was in mid yell, but the gist of what he was saying was, what are you doing here? You’re driving on the golf course. And I was like, oh, but a guy was me being nauseous. And I was like, I didn’t the road. And I pointed started pointing at the screen, you know, in my car. And I was like map, blue the line. Because here’s the thing. Google Maps, like, they drive cars around. I wasn’t supposed to say which map it was it was Google Maps. But they they have cars to drive around with sensors and cameras and whatnot, that map the roads. But the golf cart, lead lane, I’ll call it that little road was was mapped. So how is that even possible? That I’m I’m on a mapped road, but it’s a golf cart road. And I was trying to explain and he didn’t he didn’t really want to care for me. He didn’t really care. He was just like, follow me, you know, okay. And so I very slowly, like he got in front of me, and he’s driving, and I’m following. And then we get to a fork in the road left or right. And he kind of pulls off and I pull next to him. And he was like, go that way and now he’s just like, okay, and he’s like, why are you even here? I was like, this is it. This is my least favorite thing. I just like I’m I’m the I’m a comedian. I mean, no, you never want to own the comedian. I’m here to make people laugh. And he was like, home park right there. Like he’s yelling at me. And I don’t blame him. If he if it’s his golf course. And I’m driving on it. I would be upset too. But tonight I parked and then I made my way in and I was late to so that freaked me out. And then I got inside and I was setting everything up my microphone and everything. And yeah, and then the show happened. Rufus T. Rufus 12:35 The show happened did they lead you off after the show in handcuffs? Were you in country club? the brig the jail and whatever you under the staff Natty Bumpercar 12:49 know that. I mean, actually, honestly, they fed me. I did the show. It went fine. It wasn’t the best show, but it was fine. And I even told him this story thinking like, Oh, you guys are not gonna believe what happened to me tonight. And they were like, tell your jokes, silly man. And it was fine. It was great. It was fun. And then so I had that show. And I think that’s probably one of my favorite comedy memories that I can remember certainly because it was just so silly. I was just like this is such a me thing. That has just happened I’m on a golf course. Why Why does this happen to me? Aloysius J. Pig 13:28 You think it’s because the universe is out to get you Natty Bumpercar 13:31 know like Is that a thing is that is that real Producer 13:33 route doing frog if I’m brand friendly there are some rules about such things and you know so it’s possible that mandanna things yes the dots to get to but you know it’s you do what you do man you could just can’t okay, right? Okay, Rufus T. Rufus 13:53 I know why y’all make fun of me sometimes because I’m livid and bla bla and talk a little bit of gibberish but that frog today and lick assume I agree Aloysius J. Pig 14:02 wholeheartedly. He does he’s why he’s more of a like behind the scenes behind the board. He’s a button pusher and that’s fine. There’s no prominent there’s no issue really your great producer at what you do, which is produce unicorn. Yeah, well, hey, Natty Bumpercar 14:18 listen, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. My silly golf course story. I’m so happy that the bumper podcast is back to being silly. Maybe next week, I’ll tell you about how I got in a fight with the town council of my town and had to start an arts organization and arts Alliance if you will, or I can give you a progress report on the studio build out we’re hopefully we’re going to have some soundproofing so I don’t have to listen to banjo barking and big motorcycles going by anyway, bumper, Bond casket tears, you know what you are? Of course you do. You’re the bass Outro 15:05 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com. forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded, mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius JPG Rufus t Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar we also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar comm slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts See you soon. NonPro 16:25 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license please share it but asked before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]

October 6, 2021