Oh – No – You – Did – Not.

Ooooooooh! There is a storm brewing around a couple of albums that are about to – uhm – drop. Kanye West and 50 Cent both have albums coming out on the (unfortunate) date of Sept. 11 – due to (the random occurence of) Kanye West’s album (“Graduation”) being pushed up a week and 50 Cent’s album (“Curtis”) being pushed back by a week.

The two had a nice friendly rivalry going on about the concurrent releases – and then on some website by the name of sohh.com, Mister Cent threw down the gauntlet by talking in the Queen’s english and saying: “Let’s raise the stakes. If Kanye West sells more records than 50 Cent on September 11, I’ll no longer write music. I’ll write music and work with my other artists, but I won’t put out any more solo albums.”

As far as this intrepid newshound has been able to find there has been no response from the West camp (although – I will admit that I didn’t dig very deep).

What a turn of events this is! When (if ever) has an artist decided to throw their entire carreer on the table over something as brash as this?! It’s like me calling for an election against little bear 2 over at our (semi-temporary) headquarters and then running around talking smack about how the loser of the election is going to be leaving town . . . only to find out that he has actually been taking political science classes – or something like.

Okay – shoot – I have to go . . . evidently just by typing out that analogy about the election – word has gotten back to little bear 2 – and he is in a closed room session as to how this whole election thing could play out . . .

Good luck to Kanye. Good luck to me . . . hopefully before you know it – little bear 2 and 50 Cent will be shaking their heads and asking for a recount before you can even say “boo-bear, boo-bear, boo.”

Friday Photo [#25] – Why – Hello Miss Turner.

Something to watch (With Your Eyes!)

clarke_and_michael.jpg Through a bit of rolling around on the internet, I happened upon clarkandmichael.com. It is a little 10 (ten) part story about a couple of guys trying to write and pitch a script. I am only on the 3rd (third) episode (no – I will not say “webisode” – and no that didn’t count as saying it) – but have enjoyed it so far.

How did I happen upon it – and why do I like it?! Well – I was looking at stuff about “Superbad” – which is a movie that I am going to watch – both because I seem to like to watch movies – and also because I enjoy the work of Michael Cera (you know – George Michael from “Arrested Development” – right?!) and then this zipped by my radar. Maybe I am late to the party – but at least there is still some punch!

Ooh – and before I go – go – go – I wanted to throw out my typical “Advisory” warning . . . there may be some stuff in the videos that tiny people shouldn’t see . . . in the episodes that I have seen – the major cursing has been bleeped out – but some potential badness bleeds through every so often. Consider yourself duly noted.

Update #31 [Where is my mind?]

I have to stop and wonder where my mind is sometimes – like – I know that it is usually there for a joke – or at the very least for some ridiculous non sequitur . . . but then there are other times where even I am stupefied with my stupification.

I was at a birthday party with a bunch of people – where (at the time that this happened) I only knew the birthday girl and her better half. I was doing what I seem to do all too frequently . . . I was talking about my dog.

I need to set everyone straight for a second by making sure that you know that out of all of the creatures (people included) in the world – I see my dog (Irving Brown Socks) far more than (probably) everybody else – far – far – depressingly far more.

Anyway – this girl asks me about the dog and I smartly give all of his particulars – “He is a 45 (forty-five) pound – 3 (three) year old – boarder-collie black lab and his name is Irving Brown Socks!”

The wheels fell off of the conversation when she then asked me what he looked like. Now – that is a pretty simple question – I mean I know his birthday – and as much about his embedded collar as I care to . . . I know his quirks – his schedule – the things that he likes to do and the things that he shies away from – bank all of that on top of the fact that – in theory – I lean towards the direction of being a visual person – and the answer should have been a slam dunk.

My mind went totally blank. I started stumbling and mumbling about how he was black with some brown fur and that he wore white socks on his feet . . . but that was just the general information. So I stopped myself and came clean with the party. I couldn’t remember what my dog looked like – and what an odd feeling that was. I said something along the lines of “Let’s just say – for the sake of argument – that in some strange world the police put together a line-up of dogs . . . and that none of those dogs were showing any more love to me than any of the other dogs. I’m not entirely sure that – as we speak – that I would be able to pick my dog out of that line-up.”

As I was saying – I’m not sure what is wrong with me – or my brain. It strikes me as being a bad thing to not even be able to remember what my dog looks like. Sometimes I feel like my brain is like a goose in the rain – with all of the water of the world slipping right off of my back . . . or am I thinking of a duck?!

The end of the story is nice though. I had a nice sit down with the Irving – and we came to a decision that to make up for my very social faux pas . . . I have offered him the position of press secretary for the organization . . . and before anyone even begins to scream about nepotism – bear in mind that for one dull and dark moment in the world – I forgot exactly what my dog looks like and I think that you will understand that middle management in an burgeoning multi-media empire with nothing but glass ceilings is the very least that he deserves . . .

I’m glad that he is able to forgive my brain. I am glad that he is my dog.

Tip of the morning to ye!

So – for someone that doesn’t drink any coffee – anytime – I seem to drink a heck of a lot of Starbucks. But what in the world could I possibly drink at that highly-priced – sort-of-expensive – oh-so-yummy – slightly-addictive – place-that-the-world-goes-to – kind of place?

The Chai Latte – in the size of medium (or whatever they would like for you to call it).

Now – here is the tip.

Every so often I’ll get one of them tasty latte beverages. Then when I get around to sipping from it – I find – not the grand experience that I have come to crave – but instead a sad watery version of my drink of all drinks [EDITORS NOTE: Currently my drinks of all drinks that I love are Coke, Mountain Dew, Sweet Tea, Vitamin Water and Chai Latte – in no particular order]. The problem is that since they come so ridiculously hot – I usually don’t find out for quite awhile. But when the timing works out (when I still in close enough proximity to the Starbucks) – I get to go back to the store and get a different version – drink 2.0 – or the like.

I have probably returned about 3 (three) of these drinks over the last 6 (six) months or so – and never really known why they sometimes had water in them – was it the barista’s preference to save the company some milk or were they just aiming to make me miserable?! Then – last weekend – I got a drink – walked around for awhile – got in the car to leave – tasted it – and was depressed to find a watery watery mess. Out of the car I got – and back to the store I marched. After getting the latte making ladies attention – who happened to be super-busy and kind of snippy – the main truth in the world came out.

Evidently the recipe calls for water (stupid recipe) – and so all you have to do in the world is say “No water – please.” and everything should work out fine. Now if I could just figure out how to get them to make it less scorching hot . . . my (perfect) teeth are so sensitive.