You may have been wondering . . . “Hey Mister – Buddy . . . what is up with all of the ants – and seeming lack of effort . . .” or something like that – and you will seriously have to excuse me for this typing – as my elocutioner is all but kaput for the moment . . .

Well – 18 (eighteen) days ago – I was in a meeting – and the goal was to design – make all of the content – and build a website by June 17th (Father’s Day) . . . and then it was bumped up to this morning at 6:00 a.m. It has all kinds of stuff that I have never played with (much) – like this and that and that and this . . .

In the past 3 (three) days – (I can’t remember before that) – I have ended up working 21 hours, 18 hours and 14 hours. I am the sleepiest bear in the world . . . and will blame the lack of enthusiastic hype in this post on that.

Anyway – if you get a nickle – go look at the latest in (my) site building.

www.notjustformom.com

Now – I go to work!

A terrible wind has swept through our semi-temporary headquarters. A cute bundle of fuzzy duplicitous(ness – or is it iocity), a deceivingly cute harbinger of things that aren’t so good . . .

Let me ask you a quick question. If you were walking through an alley – by yourself – at night – would you even give a second glance to an 8 inch tall bear? My guess is that you would make the mistake of a fervent glance – or two – while failing to maintain your leisurely pace as you moved in the direction of the lights at the end of the alley. I’m not going to make any bones about it . . . as you sped up – he would notice. He would disappear and then he would be right in front of you. He would toy with you – and that would be your end.

Little Bear 2 is a threat I have been meaning to identify for quite some time – to get the word out – to get more eyes on the street. But I didn’t want any of you fighting my battles – especially not this one. It hits too close to home.

Little Bear 2 has an identical brother. . . His name is Little Bear. Little Bear is a bright chipper charming fellow (bear) – and a real treat to have around . . . it wasn’t until we had known each other for a long while that his secret came out – the secret that he had tried to keep everyone from knowing – which was that not only did he have a twin brother . . . but that he was the exact opposite of a “bright chipper charming fellow” – and that he was out to do Little Bear in – no matter what happened.

Last night when I got back to this (here crib) place – I was struck by something alarming . . . a tiny bear wearing a t-shirt with the letters “AGL GCAL” had been stuffed into a plastic bag – and next to this “bear-in-a-bag” was a note that simply read “Don’t mess wiTH LB II!” with a post script of “yur NECKST.”

I tried to save the t-shirt wearing bear (a bear that I had never met before) . . . but he was too far gone. I decided to focus on the letters – in case they meant anything . . . but then decided that it was far more important to try to get in touch with Little Bear – he needed to know about the nights events – and maybe he could give me some clues. But just as I went to call – I heard a noise in a dark corner of the room . . . I wasn’t alone.

Before I could get to the corner – whoever or whatever was there had vanished. I was left with my thoughts. Who had messed with Little Bear II that would bring him out of hiding in such a spectacular way . . . and who exactly was next? I knew that I (at least) wouldn’t be sleeping well for awhile.

I leave with this cautionary warning . . . if you are ever in that dark alleyway – and you do see an 8″ tall bear – just ask him what his favorite ice cream is . . . if he says pistachio – then you have just made a great friend . . . if not – then run as quickly as you can – or else you may end up as the next t-shirt bear!

So – here is a blow by blow account of my “BIG DRIVE” that occurred on Friday May the 25th . . . it should make for a great read . . . since it is broken down into hours and since it is essentially about me being in a car for 19 1/2 hours – alone with my thought(s) – and my dog.

Oh – and at the bottom – there is a “great” camera phone picture . . . of something scary!

I left the house (in New York) at 5:54 am . . . which hurt me deeply.
In New Jersey at 6:30 am – seems like great time is being made.
Dog vomit #1 at 6:50 am – I think that I am going to do away with the “am” now.
7:00 an egg McMuffin and an orange juice – what a treat!
Dog vomit #2 at 7:40 – both vomits were on the side of the road – so there was no real problem.
8:35 medium Chai Latte from one of the (many) Starbucks on the New Jersey turnpike.

In Delaware at 9:17.

In Maryland at 9:35 – did I mention that Delaware is tiny where I cross it?
From North Baltimore – to South Baltimore – there were 12 cops hiding out.

In Virginia at 11:18 – seems like things are progressing nicely.
1:06 stopped for my first tank of gas.
1:42 dropped by a Wendy’s for one of their Buffalo Crispy Chicken Sandwiches – it was terrible.

In North Carolina at 3:30 – this state is really the bear of the trip – it takes forever because for some reason – the road just seems to lolly-gag all about – like I even want to be in North Carolina for all of the time . . .
At 3:43 the only real excitement of the trip happened when – while at a rest stop – Socks and I stumbled upon a ridiculously huge (like about 5-6 feet huge) snake . . . and we were right next to it when we noticed it – yeep!
5:40 was the right time for a sweet 2 piece fried chicken with a biscuit, dirty rice and some fries from a little place that I call Bojangles – oh yes – it was the right time – indeed.

In South Carolina at 8:08 – yes – seriously – North Carolina takes as much time to get through as most states added up . . . North Carolina needs to go on a diet. Or get broken up into North-North Carolina and South-North Carolina so that it will seem like the trip is broken up a bit more.
9:30 got some gas.

In Georgia at 10:00 pm. Normally this means that the trip will be over in about another 1 1/2 hours – so my brain starts winding down . . .
But then at 10:45 – right around Commerce, Georgia – which is about 45 minutes from Headquarters (or so) – there was a wreck . . . and there was a parking lot on the highway – that I got to sit in for 1 1/2 hours. This is the part of the trip that Socks and I agree was the worst . . . one of those so close – but so so far away types of things.
We lost the exact time – but I from comparing notes – we came up with 1:17 as the time of arrival back at the house . . . and then we watched a baby’s room get built – so what do you think of that?!

As promised – Here is the nifty picture . . . it is the snake!!!!!