Tag: workplace comedy

Bumperpodcast #452 – Season 3 – Invoices

Join Natty Bumpercar, Pig, Rufus, and Producer in this hilarious Bumperpodcast episode all about invoices! From chaotic billing to quirky misunderstandings, the gang tackles the world of invoices in their signature absurd style. Tune in for laughs, lessons, and lots of laughs as they navigate the paperwork jungle!

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About This Episode

In episode 452 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and his puppet friends attempt their first musical episode in ages with hilariously chaotic results. Producer kicks things off with a song about bees, but Aloysious J. Pig and the crew struggle to keep the rhythm. What starts as an improvised musical number quickly derails into a discussion about libraries, with Rufus T. Rufus sharing his love of reading and the stacks. The episode takes an unexpected turn when the gang discovers a shocking financial reality: none of them have been sending invoices or getting paid for their work on the show for the past 15-20 years. The revelation leads to comedic accusations and stammering explanations as everyone realizes they've been working for free.

Memorable Quotes

“if i could be a bee i don't really know let's see what kind of bee would i be would i be an a b or c or d or e what all these letters they all rhyme”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“gonna learn gonna learn gonna learn in a library gonna learn gonna learn i love to read books”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“you hear him stammering everybody's getting nervous you hear him stammering he doesn't even know what he's saying at this point yeah nobody stammers quite like a guilty man”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #music #improvisation #libraries #books #business #money #workplacecomedy #miscommunication

Featuring: Producer, Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

Full Transcript

Producer: if you could be a bee what kind of bee would you be if you could be a bee what kind of bee would

Aloysious J. Pig: you be i guess if i could be a bee i don't really know let's see what kind of bee would i be would i be an a b or c or d or e what all these letters they all rhyme i could just be like e d g c e whatever t m doesn't rhyme though no okay hold on i'll get back okay yeah uh weird

Natty Bumpercar: uh we haven't had music like a music bed a music background in so long and evidently we've forgotten how to do it because that we started off pretty rough off beat uh we went with producer i thought was a pretty brilliant because it was nice and simple um rhyme scheme um and and really i thought kind of a nice idea for a song and then leave me out of this okay i couldn't figure it out i was close yeah yes you and i know normally you you don't like feedback and you don't want to hear this no i don't i don't yeah you we oh that was not great i listen i how was i supposed to know that we were going to jump

Aloysious J. Pig: right into a song we haven't had a song in in a long time and so you know you hear this the the podcast start it's got the squeak squeak squeak squeak and then all of a sudden boom bang we're in a song with producers starting yeah i don't know if that's ever happened producer never starts a show

Producer: yeah i'm sure that at some point in the show that i've probably started it but i i can't recall i don't keep notes or anything but it's nice to have a song it's nice to have a beat so i can dance along and i can sing along let's go let's go let's all party down let's go let's go let's party

Aloysious J. Pig: all around so you start you you listen i like that you're committed to the bit and you're like you're like we're gonna have music we're gonna i'm gonna sing a song and i hope that everybody just ignores uh how everything started that's great that's listen you're you are committed you are all in and i appreciate that and i appreciate you producer this is a fat beat i love to listen to this beat as i'm sitting on my seat no no you know it's

Natty Bumpercar: i remember yeah i don't know that was i i don't i think we could probably you we don't have to sing i mean it's nice to have a music bed underneath this um i feel like it adds a little layer of texture and fun but um i don't think that it it forces us into a position where we actually you know have to have to have to sing yeah hey nutty it's me

Aloysious J. Pig: rufus t rufus and i listen to that we ain't had music in a long time i guess the court paper the filings went through and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna sing a song and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna in the office and all the wheels that were greased and everything so that we can lift the embargo and put on a track or two of of of rapitude drum drum drums i got some drums i don't say no this is why i don't really usually take over here drum drum drum drum i i yeah again i tried it again and i and i failed again but that's okay that's okay we're learning we're learning we're learning yeah we're learning oh everybody's learning here we go over here and here we go over there okay to do what i don't learn to do what to learn in a book in a book i love libraries

Natty Bumpercar: i'm listen everyone i think that rufus who never comes in and sings might have had the best singing part so far the gonna learn gonna learn gonna learn in a library gonna learn gonna learn i love to read books gonna learn but yeah yeah no that was that's a catchy one and i think it's it's very much needed at this point um that we lift up uh our our local public libraries and um you know tell people tell people what's up i love the library i like to just walk into a library and all the books they're called they're called the stacks because there's their shelves and they're back in the stacks okay i'm gonna go back in the stacks and and but you second you walk into a library it just has a feeling about it i i always think it just like it it's it feels like you're in a different world almost in a different time and and the smell of the books has always been so intoxicating to me and just wandering around and and looking at all the different titles and all the different sizes of the books and all the different colors of the book like the the spines and everything

Aloysious J. Pig: is is is is wonderful yeah um did are we is this all just library stuff now because i i mean i can i can do that i uh went to a library once and they said that they they wanted a show and they hired me and uh they stuck me in a room with what i don't know it must have been two three hundred kids and uh i was like okay what do we what do we have a plan and they're like well we hired you you have the plan and i was like okay uh how long how long do i need to stay in here for and they they they said forever and then they shut the door kind of in a menacing way and uh the second the door shut all the kids their heads just turned slowly and locked on to me and then then and hold on a second don't say anything don't say anything all right good point good point good point yeah i i feel like the litigation on that whole situation is still uh pending it might you know still we're just awaiting a decision um did you ever get a uh uh paid for that for that event uh no i don't know hey uh i don't usually do the money stuff hey natty do you know if uh if i got any checks coming in anything you know a pig needs new shoes

Natty Bumpercar: all right well first off you i've never seen you wear shoes um so that's important uh secondly no i don't see any checks do you know um did you send in like the invoice after the show did you email it or mail it or drop it off

Aloysious J. Pig: or anything what do you what i don't know what's that uh what's that word in a voice like an inside like an inside voice what i don't know how does that how does that pertain let me take this and that is sir aloysius uh the invoice um now that's where you're going to uh line item uh put everything on it that your time you know you had to buy some uh crops maybe some water uh you know uh as the case and i can't get into it but you know higher security um because of uh people getting a little bit too uh interested in our business you know there's a few different uh but you put all that on the invoice give them a total and then they know what to pay you wait what is this why i've never been paid is this why i've never seen it in i thought that you you just had some sort of a savings account for me so that i could one day i don't know go to college uh get my own place or you know start my life with with a with a so never we've never never gotten paid

Natty Bumpercar: anything no i this is a bad miscommunication i thought that you guys were handling a like rufus you usually handle the invoices so now hold on a second hold on a second before you start

Aloysious J. Pig: shining the light on me i i i'd appreciate if you if you kept me in the dark if it's as it were now listen i invoice you uh constantly still haven't seen a lick of cash from that yeah but i don't i don't invoice for everything else for everybody else so

Natty Bumpercar: yeah you definitely invoice me constantly i have a stack of papers that just seems to keep growing constantly like all the time all the time those papers they grow all the time um okay wow so if aloysius if you're not sending out invoices i haven't been sending out invoices for stuff either um has anyone gotten paid for anything well so what i do is i've been keeping a tally

Producer: of all the hours that i've worked and then i went on the internet and i said um you know what is a reasonable amount of salary for for for my position and so i'm just kind of keeping track and i was hoping to settle up with you at some point you know when when we can maybe we sell the bumper podcast and we're just rolling in all the money wait so i guess you're playing like the really

Aloysious J. Pig: long game we've been doing this for like i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't know i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't i don't you know what you cut you keep on with your notebook and your tally and keeping track you do that you do that uh uh producer i think it's all gonna work out for you oh boy no let's see here hold on uh i i know i've been paid for some outside services i outvoiced those but the insert internal invoices i don't believe uh i've ever uh collected on on anything uh i have to think about i you know what i'm gonna go talk to my financier and and finance see if i have any finances yeah i hope i do yep it's gonna be a bad day if it if if there's not i'll tell you that okay so it's gonna be a bad

Natty Bumpercar: day but a bad day for who like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know are we saying a bad day for me i so we're all in the same boat i've never gotten paid for anything sounds like none of you have ever gotten paid for anything how do we get paid all right sir

Aloysious J. Pig: who's supposed to be paying us well i don't want to uh you know single anybody out um but your name is on on on the shingle your name is it's the bumper podcast naughty bumper car you live in headquarters coffee can alley all that you know there's a lot of stuff there so uh i'll take it over here uh so ipso facto i believe that means that all all all of the funds need to be coming out of out of your wallet natty so i guess when can we expect this situation to be rectified i wait i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know

Natty Bumpercar: i'm rectified i'm just now finding about this the same time you are right so how i not a good topic for the podcast but something that we should definitely figure out and something that we should definitely look into because i think we all just thought that something was happening that wasn't happening and so now we have to get to the root of that the of the problem

Aloysious J. Pig: and i um you're stammering you hear him stammering everybody's getting nervous you hear him stammering he doesn't even know what he's saying at this point yeah nobody stammers quite like a

Natty Bumpercar: guilty man natty are you a guilty man what no i'm not guilty i'm i feel like i'm a victim in this whole thing too how am i guilty what did i didn't do anything except maybe mismanage all the money for the last 15 years so wait a minute

Producer: am i ever going to be able to buy a lily pad in paradise or am i just stuck here pushing knobs and buttons for the rest of my life

Robot: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and fun to watch and i'm so excited to be here with you and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced by natty bumper car and is produced by natty bumper car at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow us on social media at natty bumper car dot com follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

March 20, 2025
Bumperpodcast #437 – Season 3 – Help

Welcome to Coffee Can Alley! Welcome to the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproariously silly improvised comedy. In this episode, Pig tries to get to the bottom of some things while Producer and Rufus T. Rufus do anything but figure anything out!

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About This Episode

In this hilariously chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig tries to address an important issue but gets completely derailed by Rufus T. Rufus's nostalgic tale about Jack's Snack Shack down by the creek. The conversation spirals into debates about double negatives, food preferences, and whether Rufus might actually be a horse based on his love of oats and carrots. Producer joins in with confusing grading systems and his sensitivity about eating flies, while Aloysious struggles to keep everyone on track. The episode showcases the show's trademark improvisational comedy as the characters bicker, joke, and ultimately forget what they were even trying to discuss in the first place.

Memorable Quotes

“Jack's Snack Shack way out back is a hack, all right?”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“I don't want to get personal, but are you a horse? Because what you just described is basically the snack of a horse.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“Jack's Snack from way out back does not have any kind of a lack for giving smacks, in fact, he has a knack for giving stacks upon stacks upon stacks upon smacks.”
— Producer

Topics: #food #snacks #nostalgia #communication #jack'ssnackshack #workplacecomedy #grammar

Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

Full Transcript

Aloysious J. Pig: now yes so all i'm saying is he's a problem right so if he's gonna be a problem and then we gotta change the name of the show or something yeah well so you know it's not

Producer: like i don't not disagree hold on don't not disagree don't not this yes it's like i don't

Rufus T. Rufus: not disagree however you know yeah now so i this is rufus t rufus now as a lawyer around here once we start throwing out double negatives and triple negatives as it were you understand with uh don't being the first one there not being the second one there so the don't and the not are going to cancel each other out and then the disagree i would i think is going to be your third negative so that's your triple negative which i think is going to bring it back into the fold of

Aloysious J. Pig: being negative and um now i just think we gotta stick to the matter at hand no i understand i'm

Rufus T. Rufus: just trying to keep it straight from a legalese point of view yeah well nobody really cares about

Aloysious J. Pig: the legalese point of view at the moment because i think what we're trying to figure out is a bigger

Producer: issue here all right yes so i totally don't not agree with you oh come on

Aloysious J. Pig: I don't get paid unless I make the podcast, so I'm around, right? And I need to eat. I'm a pig who likes to eat food, okay? Yeah.

Rufus T. Rufus: Now, it's interesting, Aloysius. I'm not a pig, you understand, but I am someone who does enjoy the food, enjoys eating, you know? And I have been reminiscing a little bit about when I was young, before I was ever a lawyer, you understand, when I was just in short pants and I was walking around by the creek, you understand? And there was a little shack there, and it was a snack shack, they called it. And I would go on up to the snack shack, and to the manager's name was Jack. I think it was called Jack's Snack Shack. And I would go in, and I would… Peruse the aisles. There's really only one aisle, but I would peruse it up and down, left and right, and I would pick out my favorite food in the whole wide world.

Aloysious J. Pig: All right, you got me hooked. I want to know what your favorite food in the whole wide world is, but then we got to get back to the real thing, but I'm intrigued by the whole creek and whatever you got going on there. Tell me, tell me, tell me.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, well, okay, wow. Well, what I would find is that Jack's Snack Shack, Jack's Snack Shack is they had, it was dry rolled oats, and they would come in a little packet, and a little sack there, and then I'd get a little apple juice, so some oats and some apple juice, and sometimes I might eat a carrot or two as well.

Aloysious J. Pig: Now, Rufus, I don't want to get personal, I don't want to get into your business, but are you a horse? Because what you just described is basically the snack, of a horse, like you're going to go in, horse love, they love eating oats, they love eating carrots, and they love apples, so that's who, I don't know if they drink apple juice, or if they're those things, it's like, oh, I'll eat an apple, but I won't eat apple sauce,

Rufus T. Rufus: or they won't eat apple juice, but I will eat apples, and you're like, buddy, it's the same thing. All right, it's just in a different package, all right?

Producer: So, hold on a second, so I'm looking it up on all of the, all of the internets, every single one, and I am not finding Jack's Snack Shack, done by the creek, but I am finding a Jack's Snack Shack that's way out back, you understand, I don't, that's this other part of town, I think, and it's got wonderful reviews, maybe we should take a field trip out there one day.

Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, now, you know, not to burst your bubble there, producer, and I do appreciate you doing research on the fly like that.

Producer: Oh, how do I love eating flies, they're our mice, my favorite food, you know, if we're talking about it.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, we're not talking about it, we just want to figure out whatever Rufus is talking about, but, okay, thanks for the info.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, now, as I was saying, now, the Jack's Snack Shack that they have listed there that's way out back, that is not actually affiliated with Jack's Snack Shack that's done by the creek, that, so that one is closer to the tracks, you understand, so it's Jack's Snack Shack that's done by the tracks, and what had happened was Jack, the proprietor, had opened up his Snack Shack down by the tracks near the creek, and that's the one that everybody went to, that's the one everybody knows, that's where the reputation was built, and lo and behold, Jack had a cousin, also, watch this, he named John, but they called himself Jack, so Jack, number two, moves into town, sees how well Jack's Snack Shack is doing, and he's like, oh, well, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what the hell Jack's Snack Shack is doing, and the good reputation it has, and proceeds to go out back and open himself up his own Snack Shack, so what I'm saying is that Jack's Snack Shack way out back is a hack, all right?

Aloysious J. Pig: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you don't want to detract from Jack's Snack Shack way out back, or else he might come on over here and give you a smack, is what I've heard about that guy, okay?

Producer: Yeah, no, I've heard the same thing, where Jack's Snack, Jack's Snack from way out back does not have any kind of a lack for giving smacks, in fact, he has a knack for giving stacks upon stacks upon stacks upon smacks, and you might have to get out of town on your, um, Jack?

Rufus T. Rufus: Now, yeah, this took a terrible turn, there's everything since doing this podcast, but, you know, we're just chitin', chattin', and having a little bit of fun, and then out of nowhere, everything goes loop-de-loo, and I, I, producer, I just felt like you were forcing there, you were, you know, just pushing a little bit harder than you needed to, I thought we had a good, uh, uh, uh, premise, and we, you know, we could have ridden it home, but, and you start, I don't know, I don't even know what you were doing.

Aloysious J. Pig: Well, I agree that it was terrible, but what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna give producer an A for effort, or is it E for effort? Is E even a, that's not a letter, Greg? Is it E for effort, and T for nice try? E for effort? How does that, and T's not, I don't know what we're doing, because that's, these aren't letter grades, it's A, B, C, D, E, F. Wait, but E's not in there. A, B, C, I got a D, oh, no, I got an F on my test. What's in E? Is that in between, I'm like, where does, how do I get an E? I would like to get an E, I think it's better than an F. It's one better than an F. One letter. That's better than a D.

Producer: Yeah, so when I was in frog school, we didn't have all of those letters, the A's and the B's or whatever. We had an S, which was for satisfactory, and we have an N, which was for needs to be more satisfactory, I think. Needs improvement. What are we talking about that needs improvement? The sound, can you not hear? What are you talking about?

Aloysious J. Pig: No, no, no, I think he was saying your S was better than a D. S was satisfactory, and then your N, it was an N, was for needs improvement, as opposed to needs more, you know, I don't, can we not, this has got my head all in a jumble here. I got this dude over here, who's eating like a horse lunch, oats and carrots and applesauce, juice, sorry, but he had not, I know, you don't like applesauce.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, no, but that's fine. Well, what was it, you had some sort of a bug in your bonnet before when we first started talking, when we all came into the room, and I don't have, I don't remember, that was minutes ago, and I don't have any idea what we was talking about initially, and so if anybody wants to refresh my memory, if I'm to be honest, my blood sugar's a little bit low because I hadn't had a chance to have a snack or even really a little bit of a lunch today. I'm feeling a little bit peckish, which, if you know, if you know what that means.

Aloysious J. Pig: Now, I'm worried because when you said peckish, that you were like, I think chickens, they peck, right? They peck, peck, peck, peck, peck their food, so does peckish have anything to do with, do you want to eat some bird seed? Do you want, I don't know what else birds eat. Do birds eat other things? Oh, yes, absolutely. Birds eat bugs and worms. Really? Yeah, worms. Two. I had no idea. It's a lot. I find that to be unsettling. Huh?

Producer: Rather disgusting. I mean, I don't know why, you know, you don't have to eat it. If the bird says that he wants to eat it, if that's the meal that the bird wants to have, then the bird should be able to have that, I think, you know? What does it even impact you, what the bird is eating? Why don't you just eat whatever you want to eat? I assume it's trash or slop or whatever it is, you know, because you're a pig. Yeah.

Aloysious J. Pig: I, I, I don't eat. I don't eat trash. Uh, thank you, though, for, for falling into that pig stereotype. Uh, I, I eat, uh, you know, delicious things is what I, I'm going to say, and I don't want to get into it. I don't want to go any deeper, but I eat delicious things. Thank you very much.

Rufus T. Rufus: You know, now I'm feeling like this is a little bit strange, Aloysius, because you're over there making fun of my snack, which is a very healthy snack, my doctor. Uh, agrees and approves. He says, uh, this, he's never seen anyone eat quite as, as healthy a food as I do. And, and, and, and, yeah, we're making fun of a little bit of, uh, the frog over here, uh, producer for eating flies. I mean, what else is he going to eat, you know? And then, uh, me saying I'm peckish, and then you're saying, oh, what are you, some sort of bird or something? Come on now, Aloysius. Now you're not even going to tell us what you eat? Like, how is that supposed to make us feel? This isn't a team. This isn't us coming together and learning about each other. This is just you making fun of everybody and making us feel bad about ourselves, which just doesn't feel, uh, appropriate. Or, or, or right, you know, you see?

Producer: Yeah, I don't want to, you know, jump onto Rufus's curtails or anything, but, you know, this whole time, it's like I, I don't not disagree with him about him saying these things about the food, and about the making fun of, and about all these, uh, you know, stuff. So, because I'm sensitive about the flies, I am. You know, people look at me, and they're like, oh, bro, he eats flies? And I'm like, I'm a frog. What am I supposed to do, okay? So, hold on.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, nobody cares. Okay, thank you, producer. I apologize if I made fun of anybody, made anybody feel bad. I feel terrible. Um, but I remember when you said the don't not thing, that brought me all the way back to the beginning of the episode when we were, oh, don't not, not, whatever. And I had a whole point. I had a whole point that I was trying to bring up with this episode. And, um, we got sidetracked, as we often do. So, here's what I actually wanted to talk about, okay?

Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced by The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can find us on Twitter at Natty Bumpercar.com. And follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Robot: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the Non-Productive Network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives License. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

February 9, 2024
Bumperpodcast #433 – Season 3 – Bagel

Welcome to the Bumperpodcast, the uproarious improvised comedy podcast set in the whimsical world of Coffee-Can Alley! In this hilarious episode, beloved characters Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and Doodle Poodle are in for a wild ride as they welcome the quirky and tech-savvy cousin of Producer, Engineer. Brace yourself for laughter as Robot makes a memorable return, adding to the comedic chaos that unfolds.

Just when you think things can’t get any wackier, the confusion reaches a new level when Natty unexpectedly stops by at the end of the episode. As the gang navigates through a series of unpredictable and humorous situations, you’re in for an entertaining rollercoaster of laughter and confusion. Don’t miss out on the fun and adventure in this unscripted and laugh-out-loud episode of the Bumperpodcast!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

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About This Episode

In this chaotic episode of the Bumperpodcast, Producer brings in his cousin Engineer to help fix the podcast equipment that hasn't worked since being recovered. Things get hilariously complicated when Aloysious J. Pig demands to understand the bizarre frog naming convention system in Producer's swamp, leading to an absurd argument about bagels. Engineer accidentally plugs in Robot, who had been intentionally unplugged, and Rufus T. Rufus inadvertently makes Robot cry when explaining the situation. Meanwhile, Doodle Poodle tries to make sense of everyone's strange behavior, and Pig keeps threatening to call Rufus "Mr. Bagel" despite his heated protests. The episode showcases the show's signature improvisational chaos and character dynamics.

Memorable Quotes

“Well, it kind of depends because as an engineer is just telling you, like when he was born, he was called a producer, but then they had to look and they found they'd produced, I was already a producer.”
— Producer

“You can call me bagel one more time, producer. I'm going to talk. We're going to have a talk.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“I haven't been here in a long, long, long time. But I heard you were talking about bagels.”
— Robot

Topics: #equipmentmalfunction #family #namingconventions #bagels #workplacecomedy #technology #miscommunication #frogs

Featuring: Producer, Doodle Poodle, Aloysious J. Pig, Robot, Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Producer: so you know i don't want to talk about it too much but we do have a bit of a situation here you know it's kind of serious and i feel you know it's kind of uh hey producer it's me doodle poodle

Doodle Poodle: i just wanted to talk to you let's see what's going on because everybody's acting kind of weird

Producer: yeah i guess i do agree with everybody's second first round you know what is going on and how everybody's acting and it's it's i don't i don't really have much of the background but you know it's kind of a little bit yeah what do you do producer you know you can't say that word you

Aloysious J. Pig: know it's gonna oh come on a second oh it's like it's like bees to honey somebody you okay so just forget forget you heard forget you heard anything okay we're just trying to i don't know we're getting the equipment back set up we're trying to figure these things out because all the you know the the plugs and the dials and the bells and the the the the the the belts there's bells and there's belts and uh nothing's working it seems yeah so ever since we got the equipment back

Producer: nothing is a is a has been uh working and so i actually uh if you don't mind i apologize but i brought my cousin in and he's gonna i think maybe do a little bit of help with us

Aloysious J. Pig: we're getting everything i said well now i hope we don't do we have a contract with this cousin of yours do we have to pay any kind of uh anything you know because i don't know if we have uh any money in the coffers and not to be uh hiring outside help is what i'm trying to say yeah you

Doodle Poodle: know i don't think we're supposed to hire any because we don't nobody does anybody get paid here nobody gets paid here do they please to please tell me nobody gets paid i i've never gotten paid

Producer: hi everybody it's me i am a engineer i am a producer's cousin it's wonderful to meet all of

Aloysious J. Pig: you what in the world is going on in that swamp is everybody just like uh you're a producer so you're gonna be a producer you're an engineer so you're gonna be an engineer and how does that because it seems like it gets confusing because somebody says oh hey hey it's you your name is engineer and then you don't get confused are you gonna be like uh a choo-choo uh on the train engineer are you going to be you know how does this all work well you know these a lot of frogs

Producer: you know the ted pose and every season there's a there's really a big number of us frogs that they're kind of coming to the world and so the only way they figured out how to make it make any scenes at all was if they were like okay you know what this this one's going to be a baker so we're going to call him baker and then this one over here is going to be um really good at the drums and so we're going to call him drum drummer drummer i guess drummer yeah and so you know just to kind of keep everything up okay okay hell what what producer said is true um so i um was was born and was called producer wait a minute and uh it didn't work out because my cousin yeah he was already producing and so then they changed me over to be an engineer what can i help you with uh

Aloysious J. Pig: wow your your speech patterns have they are they're very interesting now uh what i'm trying to figure out here so if i was a little tadpole and i was a frog and i was i was i was i was born i sit Y'all are born, is that how it works?

Producer: Yeah, of course we're born, of course, yes. You know, that works, okay?

Aloysious J. Pig: So if I'm born, do I already have my hat on? Do I already know all the legalese? Are they just going to call, you know, Frog Rufus? Are they just going to call me a lawyer or something like that?

Producer: Well, it kind of depends because as an engineer is just telling you, like when he was born, he was called a producer, but then they had to look and they found they'd produced, I was already a producer. So what we do is, you know, if you were born and there's no lawyer, then, you know, you could be the lawyer. But if there's a lawyer, then you're not the lawyer, okay? You could become, I don't know, like Mr. Bagel. You make the bagel. They go, I love bagel. You go, okay, I guess I'm going to make the bagel.

Aloysious J. Pig: That don't make no sense. I don't even, I don't even, I don't even, I don't understand bagels. I don't like bagels and I just, I refuse. I don't want to be bagel. You ain't going to call me bagel. You can call me bagel one more time, producer. I'm going to talk. We're going to have a talk. Settle down, big guy. Settle down, okay? Nobody's calling you bagel. And that was just a scenario that producer was trying to explain to you that if there was already a lawyer, then he just kind of came up with a random thing. Also, what is your problem with bagels? I don't understand. What's your beef, huh? What's your damage, huh? What's getting your blood hot, huh? I can't think of any other answer.

Producer: That's all I got. I was just looking. I was looking because I was communicating and evidently we don't currently have a bagel man. So, you know, if you do want to be a bagel, then you can be a bagel, I suppose.

Aloysious J. Pig: I don't, why are we even still talking about that? I was told that that was a scenario that was made up just to expose, a situation, structure that is inevitable and equitable in frog land. And I'm not a frog. And I am, I'm Rufus, T. Rufus. I'm a lawyer, clearly, a man of the law. I am a book learned and ready to go into a courtroom and assert myself. But I, again, I do not like bagels. Oh, come on. And I would not appreciate. Y'all calling me a bagel. All right. And I just do not do it. All right. Cool. So I guess we're not going to call you bagel. Okay. But what I don't, what I've never heard anyone get so agitated, so angry about a bagel. Like, what is your problem? Bagels are delicious. Do you know how many flavors they come in and how much stuff you can put on those flavors? I mean, it's, it's, it's limitless is what I'm saying. And, oh, whoa. There's like crisps. They're kind of, you know, hot on the outside where they boil them. And then on the inside, they're just so warm and just delicious. And are you kidding me?

Robot: Hey, everybody. It's me, Robot. I haven't been here in a long, long, long time. But I heard you were talking about bagels.

Producer: Wait, wait. No, no. Stop. Somebody likes a bagel. You're a specialist. You're supposed to be unplugged, Robot. Who, who, who, who de-unplugged you? Who plugged you in and who, why, who, who woke the robot up is what I'm saying. Now, I may have, might have, could have been the one to plug him back in, you know? But why would, you can't just go, you're, why you can't just go around plugging robots in and all this random stuff. You know, we have a set list of things. We have a set list of things that we do need help with, all the podcast equipment. But I, why are you, you can't just plug in all this, like a robot, and you don't even know anything about these robots, right? All I know is that I'm an engineer, and I saw a piece of machinery right over there, and it was evidently not working. And so I said, you know, I think I see how to fix this. And then I just plugged it in, and look at this, all of a sudden. We have ourselves a little robot now, don't we?

Robot: Oh, we sure do. Thank you so much, engineer. I wish you were here the whole time. Because then, I would have been working this whole time, and I would have been on the podcast.

Aloysious J. Pig: Now listen, I'm not saying we're, like, on a strike system, or demerit, or whatever. But that has to be one strike. Against your cousin, producer, because… Well, I, hold on, I can, uh… With all due respect, robot, uh, we, I don't, I can't even say it. No, that's not a, that's not an issue, that's not a problem for me, because I can say it. As the steward of this headquarters here in Coffee Can Alley, as the, uh, the lawyer here at Bumper Podcast, you know, I'm… Here to tell you, robot, that, uh, well, um, you were unplugged intentionally, and, uh, you know, without this engineer frog coming in, I don't know if you would have been plugged back in. I, I don't even understand.

Robot: Why, why would you do that? I thought everybody liked me. I thought that the Bumper Podcast was a nice place where everybody…

Aloysious J. Pig: Great job, Rufus. Great, great, great, great, great job. That's like six greats. You made the robot cry. And you know what happens when robots cry? Now I gotta go get the oil can so it doesn't rust up. So, I, I'll be back, but this is… Okay. You know what? It is what it is. Okay. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. Um, what's going on? Pig? Where, where are you headed? It's a long story. Robot's back. Uh, this is engineer, producer's cousin or something, and, uh, Rufus made robot cry, and then there's tears, which means… That you have to go get the oil can. I totally understand.

Unknown: Hi, daddy.

Aloysious J. Pig: Hi, robot. How's it going?

Doodle Poodle: Oh, if we're saying hi, it's, hi, daddy. It's me, the little fool. I haven't seen you in a long time. What'd you like for me to make you… Hi, doodle poodle.

Aloysious J. Pig: Wow, we have, uh, everyone here, huh? We've got doodle poodle. We've got robot there. Hi, Rufus. Yeah, I don't think it's in my best interest to say hello, to say anything anymore in this, this particular hanging out episode, whatever we're doing, because, uh, you know, uh, oh, the robot's crying. Oh, Rufus is, you know, he's a, he's a, he's a Mr. Bagel. What? I don't even want to be part of nothing, okay? Wow. Oh, well, okay. Um, wait. We're, we're calling you Mr. Bagel now?

Producer: No, you know, under frog law, you know, he is, he's already a lawyer, and so, you know, we're gonna be, he's gonna officially be Mr. Bagel. Who are, who are you again? Ah, nothing. This is my, uh, cousin. He's an engineer. He's going to help me with some of his equipment and whatnot.

Aloysious J. Pig: Now, did somebody say something about frog law? I don't know nothing about no frog law. Well, great. It looks like we're in another predicament, and all this talk about bagels has me starving.

Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded. Mixed and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. And hearts. See you soon.

Unknown: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the Non-Productive Network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives License. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

Robot: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Bumper Podcast. We hope you enjoyed it. If you enjoyed it, please subscribe to our channel, like us on Facebook, and leave a comment. And if you want to see more of our past episodes, visit our website, nattybumpercar.com.

Unknown: We'll see you next time. Bye for now.

July 28, 2023
Bumperpodcast #417 – Season 2 – Slow News

This episode starts off with a sweet jam — and then devolves — as most episodes seem to do … Oh well, at least we have fun?!
The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!
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[av_toggle_container faq_markup=’faq_markup’ initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” size-toggle=” av-medium-font-size-toggle=” av-small-font-size-toggle=” av-mini-font-size-toggle=” size-content=” av-medium-font-size-content=” av-small-font-size-content=” av-mini-font-size-content=” heading_tag=” heading_class=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-l5ec0jgn’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-l5ec024t’ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:06 Okay, sometimes in the meantime, in between time, that’s fine. And between times, that’s me time Rufus T. Rufus 0:13 and my me time I grind rollover to the skipper’s, cabeza de Loup. And now, because I don’t like to rap ado, I’m gonna send it over producer to you. Producer 0:27 Well, I’m a frog in the bag and they sitting in the log, and you know that I mean, time on my grind because there’s no, I do like to rhyme on the frog and to give him a bargain, you know, I see it on a log. And I know I’m the fear because I’m sitting right here and I’m sitting in my slime. Rufus T. Rufus 0:45 Wait a minute. That was pretty amazing. But what do you mean, you’re sitting in your slime that kind of threw off the whole vibe of what we would go in for I think, yeah, I remember he was talking about bogs and logs and frogs. Now, that was all kind of fun. But then I’ll add a no ways. Like I’m sitting him some slack. And I didn’t approve. I don’t know what that sounds kinda. I don’t know. Maybe a little yucky to me. Producer 1:19 When I was resisting did you name if I’m a frog, and frog some things were kind of sliding, especially if we’re in a swamp in a bog, which is kind of like a swamp and different sitting on. Log in a bog. Just like a frog. It gets kind of slimy. I don’t know. What happens. It’s natural for me. Aloysius J. Pig 1:44 Yeah. Okay. I guess. Can we cut the music real quick. Got it. Got it. Got it. Thank you. Okay, so I think in the future, maybe we just need to work shop arrives a little bit just so we don’t get into any kind of uncomfortable situations. On it’s much nicer. Okay. Nice. Better Music. Bumpercar Yep. Have you even said what we are yet? No. Oh, hi. No, I’m Natty Bumpercar 2:07 so sorry. We just went right into the song. I’m Natty Bumpercar And this is the bumper podcast and want to say hi to Radio Free Montclair as always, we had so far Aloysius J pig. And we had Rufus T Rufus. And we had a producer, he’s the frog. And everyone I did some research and frogs. Actually, they are slimy. That’s he was not saying anything weird. He was just kind of speaking his truth as it were. So it’s okay. Producer, we appreciate your thank you. I appreciate that. Regardless of how slimy you are. Okay, Producer 2:48 so, the Okay, cool. You made a joke? I did it. Do you? Matter? Do you take anything? Seriously? Yeah. Rufus T. Rufus 2:56 Boy, this is gonna become some sort of an intervention, isn’t it? I’m gonna go ahead and just say, Nettie, you’re not on the hook, regardless of what you say here. So if you say yeah, of course, I take things seriously, that’s fine. And if you say no, life is but a joke. And that’s fine, too. You know, it gets kind of like, producers slam prog thing. We understand that with you. perception of reality, and how you deal with things means that sometimes you’re going to be a little bit more than all the time. Um, yeah, Natty Bumpercar 3:32 I mean, okay, then. So I don’t really know what to say. Of course, I do take some things seriously. But then, yeah, what you just said? Do I really have to talk about this rant? Yeah, I’m fine. I, I do take things seriously all the time. But then I also try to laugh at the world because otherwise a massive thing. If people say, Oh, you don’t laugh, you’re gonna cry. It’s true, right? There’s a lot going on in the world, a lot of scary stuff, a lot of unpleasant stuff. And you wake up every day and you you have choices how you’re going to, we always say to the kids, it’s not how you it’s not that you did a bad thing. It’s, it’s how you’re going to deal with it after it’s done. Right? So let’s say you dropped a glass of milk. Right? And if you then start screaming at your brother or something and saying he didn’t even know it wasn’t near you, then that’s not awesome. But if you drop a glass of milk and then you say, oh, no, I dropped a glass of milk. Let me go get some some a towel or paper towel or whatever, and clean it up and clean up my mess. That’s awesome. Right? So it’s all in how you react to things. That’s how did I get to this? I think I’ve become very convoluted and unconfident. Yeah Rufus T. Rufus 4:59 I mean, we were asking you if you take anything seriously and then you started talking about milk and now I’m thirsty and we don’t even do we have we don’t even have paper towels anymore. We have bamboo towels which just kind of float above the liquid. It’s kind of interesting how that works out. But yeah, you know, I don’t know. I always just Natty Bumpercar 5:21 hold on we just said voice man, is that you? We didn’t have we breaking news. Okay, everybody stop what you’re doing. We have some sort of news coming into the podcast. This is great. Voice Man 5:32 Hear from me COVID down only news this gets me voice man with some breaking news. Well, today a turtle was spotted in someone’s yard. This turtle was just watching turtle yarn, but the owner of the house was asking is this turtle? someone’s pet? Is this turtle by himself? Who is this turn? Oh, wait. Natty Bumpercar 5:56 I don’t know if you can hear me voice man. But it’s the breaking news seriously that there was a turtle in somebody’s yard. Voice Man 6:02 Maddie you have to understand that turtles are well known slow thieves. They’ll break into your house your car very slowly. And so the homeowner wanted to know immediately if they should be concerned about this turtle. Oh no slough Rufus T. Rufus 6:21 thieves. I have never what is this? This is jibber jabber that you’re you’re promoting here voice man. This you come on to the show you interrupt me by the way. And now all of a sudden you’re going to talk about how turtles are what a day the enemy of the people. I don’t I don’t I don’t buy that one. I’m not a lawyer of this podcast, I have to say, I want to make sure that we’re not saying anything about art at all. Brethren, that is you know good. We could be liable for that we could get in trouble for so yeah. Voice man. I’m gonna ask you just to kind of slow down a little bit on the turtle talk until we get this handled. Okay. Voice Man 7:12 I completely understand but uh, here the coffee can ally newsdesk, I bring the news to you Natty Bumpercar 7:20 over over 400 episodes in and we’ve we’ve we’ve never had a breaking news during a podcast so I don’t really what the was it the turtle? That’s what you decided. This is the episode that I have to break into because there was a turtle on somebody’s yard. Voice Man 7:39 There’s not a lot of news happening and round coffee. Sometime sometimes, you know, news man a weather news man like myself finds myself sitting here at the desk and just looking for stories and this came across and I figured I would try it. Rufus T. Rufus 7:56 Now now. No good. No, no. Strike one voice man when the news is important, especially local news, but this is like hyper local, and it’s about a turtle so it turtles not I did some research I looked over not known there as there were no reported accounts of a turtle breaking into a house or stealing a car. No turtles have ever done this. According to the internet. Everyone knows the internet never lie now Natty Bumpercar 8:33 I don’t I don’t know if we should say that the internet never lies because there’s a lot of places that stories come from. But yeah, I agree. I don’t want to besmirch turtles we actually have if you look at our analytics for this podcast so many turtles that listen and so to all the turtles out there listening right now to the bumper podcast I apologize moving forward we’re gonna have you know any breaking news stories vetted out Aloysius J. Pig 9:02 excellent reminds me I got a postcard in the mail that says I need to get vetted I need to get vetted what do you what do you mean get vetted What are you talking about to go to the vet to get looked at a checked out or will my my yearly pig examination you know get my not get everything checked worked on Natty Bumpercar 9:22 okay you know that’s that’s called going to the vet That’s not called Getting vetted. But as soon as you’re done with the show, I will call and make an appointment for you to get you checked out you’re Producer 9:37 going yet if you’re making an appointment for Aloysius it’s possible you can sir make an appointment for me because I also need to go to the to the vet for yes you to action that I have been going on okay. Natty Bumpercar 9:52 Oh producer I’m okay. Sure. Is that Is there a you Okay? Is there anything that I need to worry about or If anything at all, Producer 10:01 I didn’t want to talk about it, especially in light of what voice man said. But I was walking through the swamp the other day and the turtle came up to me and he beat me up a little bit. And I think I just don’t well, I’m feeling a little bit off. Wait. Natty Bumpercar 10:23 Wait, so you’re saying a turtle. Okay. Maybe I made our turtles maybe not as nice as I’ve come to expect. Am I in the wrong about turtles? Does anyone know about turtles? Please reach out to us and let us know. Seriously Voice Man 10:43 another bit of breaking news. I’m sorry to interrupt but I was already here another turtle has been spotted in a different yard. This turtle has been found to not be someone’s pet. This turtle was wearing a banjo on his back and was headed he said to Music City. little turtle oh Natty Bumpercar 11:10 we’ve had two turtles, three turtle stories now in one day. The first is it was one a pet. The second one was producer getting beat up by a turtle which I’m not laughing at I swear. And now the third one is that there’s a turtle with a banjo on his back who’s said he’s headed to Music City. So we’re really running the gamut today on turtle stories. It must be a slow news day Rufus T. Rufus 11:36 now. Oh, Natty I’m gonna beg you to never do that again. Ever. Oh, that was our that hurt me that joke actually hurt me was a joke was that exactly. I was here and listening. But I didn’t hear and normally I try to see how many jokes I hear but I didn’t understand he made a joke Producer 11:55 about slow news. Outro 12:09 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon. NonPro 13:29 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]

July 9, 2022
Bumperpodcast #350 – Lazy River

There is work being done at Headquarters. Ridiculous work. Come find out what all of the hubbub is about?!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar discovers an unauthorized construction crew led by a contractor named Adam working in the studio basement. Producer and Aloysious J. Pig have orchestrated a surprise renovation plan to install a lazy river and secure the studio's place on a supposed "national registry" as recognition for the podcast. Things quickly spiral out of control when the crew severs a pipe, causing flooding, and it's revealed that no permits were obtained for the work. Rufus T. Rufus gets pulled into the legal complications while Pig enthusiastically prepares to swim in the unfinished lazy river. The episode captures the show's signature improvisational comedy as construction disaster meets bureaucratic chaos.

Memorable Quotes

“A lot of the people in the house got together and they thought that the investment here the studio could use some real work and they were thinking that maybe we could put in some type of a lazy river.”
— Producer

“We kind of cut a pipe kind of got a little bit of a flood happening over there in the corner so you're gonna want to get some inspectors in here real quick.”
— Adam

“That's my cue lazy river is here let's go for a swim!”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #construction #chaos #workplacecomedy #flooding #permits #lazyriver #renovationdisaster #bureaucracy

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so what you're going to be doing is taking all of those uh boxes away from the wall over there yeah those those boxes perfect and i'm gonna move them off the shelves because the whole thing the whole wreck is to come off of the wall over there and you can't do yeah we gotta have an access point so that we can get behind in there crawl space i believe according to my documentation here it seems like we have to if we move all that there should be a portal you can get in and we can uh hey hey guys what's going on who are you oh yes hi how are you i'm all right what's who is this his name is adam okay i'm gonna be helping you with your instruction i believe we're doing some work down here you guys are what do you mean who's doing work down here what do you i don't know if

Producer: this was authorized or anything um yes hi natty it's me producer and i was told yeah by who what are you talking yeah i was told by pig that we're going to be doing some work down here in the

Natty Bumpercar: studio okay what kind of work are we going to be doing can hey pig can you come over here for a

Aloysious J. Pig: second yeah hey what's up bro uh whoa hey producer who's adam yeah here good to see you bro just a lovely time of life you know it's beautiful everything right so what you doing guys moving

Producer: some stuff over there well yeah i was saying according to our plans there's some sort of access point behind the shelves over there we gotta access and get though so i gotta move off a couple of things you don't understand it's just work and doing the work that's what we do

Natty Bumpercar: okay so i'm glad you're here pig i'm glad that you do know adam and producer i guess i'm glad you're here too to kind of organize all this uh so i need to know before anything else is moved or touched or whatever uh what what the the plan is i guess and what we're trying to do because i'm supposed to be recording a podcast right now and um the bumper podcast yes the bumper podcast thank you well yeah so you know my kids and will you listen to your show sometimes and we gotta tell you it's hard to understand who all the you know all the people who come in all the characters are sometimes so i know it's just a little criticism okay thank you you know a real listener here real number one fan oh number one long time first time being on the show you can stop now please you know that's probably a good idea i'm gonna go and help the crew over there okay doing some work but uh we're gonna really get this job moving you know it's gonna be real groundbreaking and everything and such and whatnot okay okay thanks adam best of luck to you over there i still producer pig i need to have a meeting with you a little sidebar i need to get you guys over here because i'm still do not know what work is being done i do not know what is happening i do not know why there is a crew here i need you to explain please so obviously there's gonna be some uh you know some

Aloysious J. Pig: some structural things i guess some plumbing plumbing plumbing maybe a few uh pipes i don't you know what producer you seem like you know more about the uh overall indoor bl planes so what i'm gonna do is leave this in your capable hands but you i'm gonna didn't tell me anything maybe go out and do things i like some stuff do a little dance i don't know i'm gonna do my thing

Natty Bumpercar: okay okay thank to you thanks pig uh so before you say anything producer pig you didn't say anything at all you said maybe some construction maybe some pipes maybe some electric that you know what you didn't that's not you didn't tell me anything you're already you're gone okay guess he's gotta go scootadoot whatever that means i'm gonna start scootadooting all around town um all right producer what's give me the give me the lowdown yeah well so a lot of the people in

Producer: the house got together and they thought that the investment here the studio could use some real work and they were thinking that maybe we could put in some type of a lazy river or what you know what lazy river i know it's a lazy i know what a lazy river is and we're not putting a lazy

Natty Bumpercar: river in the studio that's full of equipment electrical equipment in the basement you we're

Producer: not putting a river in our basement okay so listen not so it is that mean we probably can't do the cantilever waterfalls and the um these spritz the spritz what are you saying no spritz no you said spritz no i'm not going you say spritz you say spritz spritz thank you yeah spritz machine i don't

Natty Bumpercar: just because i said it doesn't mean that i know what it is i don't know what a spritz machine is okay i'm freaking out do we have is are there blueprints are there plants has this been paid for like how far along are we exactly yeah so i got my plans here you i heard you uh gab and all over here asking for plans and i figured i'd bring them on over and uh but one thing you know i gotta tell you we don't got permits we don't got permit plans for none of this so uh it might be a little bit of a problem to figure out how to get this work moving along because we already uh ran into some issues over there kind of cut a pipe kind of got a little bit of a flood happening over there in the corner so you're gonna want to get uh some some inspectors in here real quick from the town from the you know city government or whatever okay we got some real issues so it's like uh what are you talking about you might have some sort of a national registry mark there's no national registry we can't move forward you so you're telling me now that you have cut a pipe or broken a pipe or whatever yeah we severed it i believe okay severed a pipe thank you and it's now flooding my pipe and i'm in my basement and you're now you can't touch anything you can't do anything that doesn't make any sense you already started so you already did something something bad something wrong i now uh

Rufus T. Rufus: excuse me i don't mean to buffalo into this uh stance but i understand you guys had some issues of legalities that might not might not have been persevered or persecuted or okay that's not a word

Natty Bumpercar: excuse me um my thread it's okay rufus i'm actually glad you're here because i have workers i have producer pig just left but evidently there's a big plan to put a lazy river in our basement and then uh adam yeah adam yeah his crew yeah my crew severed a pipe and uh now it's flooding but then they found some sort of thing that says that they can't work anymore down here and now we've got a real issue yep and i don't even think we have permits and

Producer: i need your help your expertise you know i feel like i pushed the paperwork over to your desk there rufus and you never get it signed for me and so i'm not sure where we stand with the whole process but i do think that maybe it's on you that it wasn't done i don't you know i'm just organizing this and just managing the whole process but if you i need your help as well so please whatever night it says you should probably jump into you now hold on just one

Rufus T. Rufus: second there little little producer frog uh now i go through my paperwork all the time i have interns i have returns i have all sorts of things and processes you understand in place that means that i'm never gonna lose this uh such things so if there was paperwork put on my desk and i'm not gonna lose it i'm not gonna lose it i'm not gonna lose it i'm not gonna lose it then i say i say i say you should have been following up with me you know understand we can't start work we can't exactly cruise down here this is a national registry it's okay so

Natty Bumpercar: again it's not a national registry it's just the basement it's just a studio actually nothing it's

Producer: not just a studio it's where we record the bumper podcast me that you knew this you knew this and it's a special place and so people said we should recognize where the bumper podcast is made and we are going to put it on the national registry and just to nom to nominate this moment we said we will also be putting in a laser laser exactly for the children it's not just for the children it's for everyone

Rufus T. Rufus: and we're so proud of everything you've done here in the studio with a bumper podcast that we felt like you

Natty Bumpercar: deserve i appreciate it something oh recognition okay so congratulations thank you very much um very nice of you guys to all do this however we still don't have permits and there's still a flood and so i need you guys to figure that out and to help me out please all right so just to not keep interjecting myself under this situation but what we've done is we've patched it all up you patched up the hole you patched up the flood no not entirely we just patched up the hole in the water flood is still happening back there so it's gonna be coming in at some point but i'm sure it's all gonna work out perfect you're gonna have a lazy

Aloysious J. Pig: you ever seen that's my cue lazy river is here let's go for a swim

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May 3, 2019