This episode starts off with a sweet jam — and then devolves — as most episodes seem to do … Oh well, at least we have fun?!

The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

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Natty Bumpercar 0:06
Okay, sometimes in the meantime, in between time, that’s fine. And between times, that’s me time

Rufus T. Rufus 0:13
and my me time I grind rollover to the skipper’s, cabeza de Loup. And now, because I don’t like to rap ado, I’m gonna send it over producer to you.

Producer 0:27
Well, I’m a frog in the bag and they sitting in the log, and you know that I mean, time on my grind because there’s no, I do like to rhyme on the frog and to give him a bargain, you know, I see it on a log. And I know I’m the fear because I’m sitting right here and I’m sitting in my slime.

Rufus T. Rufus 0:45
Wait a minute. That was pretty amazing. But what do you mean, you’re sitting in your slime that kind of threw off the whole vibe of what we would go in for I think, yeah, I remember he was talking about bogs and logs and frogs. Now, that was all kind of fun. But then I’ll add a no ways. Like I’m sitting him some slack. And I didn’t approve. I don’t know what that sounds kinda. I don’t know. Maybe a little yucky to me.

Producer 1:19
When I was resisting did you name if I’m a frog, and frog some things were kind of sliding, especially if we’re in a swamp in a bog, which is kind of like a swamp and different sitting on. Log in a bog. Just like a frog. It gets kind of slimy. I don’t know. What happens. It’s natural for me.

Aloysius J. Pig 1:44
Yeah. Okay. I guess. Can we cut the music real quick. Got it. Got it. Got it. Thank you. Okay, so I think in the future, maybe we just need to work shop arrives a little bit just so we don’t get into any kind of uncomfortable situations. On it’s much nicer. Okay. Nice. Better Music. Bumpercar Yep. Have you even said what we are yet? No. Oh, hi. No, I’m

Natty Bumpercar 2:07
so sorry. We just went right into the song. I’m Natty Bumpercar And this is the bumper podcast and want to say hi to Radio Free Montclair as always, we had so far Aloysius J pig. And we had Rufus T Rufus. And we had a producer, he’s the frog. And everyone I did some research and frogs. Actually, they are slimy. That’s he was not saying anything weird. He was just kind of speaking his truth as it were. So it’s okay. Producer, we appreciate your thank you. I appreciate that. Regardless of how slimy you are. Okay,

Producer 2:48
so, the Okay, cool. You made a joke? I did it. Do you? Matter? Do you take anything? Seriously? Yeah.

Rufus T. Rufus 2:56
Boy, this is gonna become some sort of an intervention, isn’t it? I’m gonna go ahead and just say, Nettie, you’re not on the hook, regardless of what you say here. So if you say yeah, of course, I take things seriously, that’s fine. And if you say no, life is but a joke. And that’s fine, too. You know, it gets kind of like, producers slam prog thing. We understand that with you. perception of reality, and how you deal with things means that sometimes you’re going to be a little bit more than all the time. Um, yeah,

Natty Bumpercar 3:32
I mean, okay, then. So I don’t really know what to say. Of course, I do take some things seriously. But then, yeah, what you just said? Do I really have to talk about this rant? Yeah, I’m fine. I, I do take things seriously all the time. But then I also try to laugh at the world because otherwise a massive thing. If people say, Oh, you don’t laugh, you’re gonna cry. It’s true, right? There’s a lot going on in the world, a lot of scary stuff, a lot of unpleasant stuff. And you wake up every day and you you have choices how you’re going to, we always say to the kids, it’s not how you it’s not that you did a bad thing. It’s, it’s how you’re going to deal with it after it’s done. Right? So let’s say you dropped a glass of milk. Right? And if you then start screaming at your brother or something and saying he didn’t even know it wasn’t near you, then that’s not awesome. But if you drop a glass of milk and then you say, oh, no, I dropped a glass of milk. Let me go get some some a towel or paper towel or whatever, and clean it up and clean up my mess. That’s awesome. Right? So it’s all in how you react to things. That’s how did I get to this? I think I’ve become very convoluted and unconfident. Yeah

Rufus T. Rufus 4:59
I mean, we were asking you if you take anything seriously and then you started talking about milk and now I’m thirsty and we don’t even do we have we don’t even have paper towels anymore. We have bamboo towels which just kind of float above the liquid. It’s kind of interesting how that works out. But yeah, you know, I don’t know. I always just

Natty Bumpercar 5:21
hold on we just said voice man, is that you? We didn’t have we breaking news. Okay, everybody stop what you’re doing. We have some sort of news coming into the podcast. This is great.

Voice Man 5:32
Hear from me COVID down only news this gets me voice man with some breaking news. Well, today a turtle was spotted in someone’s yard. This turtle was just watching turtle yarn, but the owner of the house was asking is this turtle? someone’s pet? Is this turtle by himself? Who is this turn? Oh, wait.

Natty Bumpercar 5:56
I don’t know if you can hear me voice man. But it’s the breaking news seriously that there was a turtle in somebody’s yard.

Voice Man 6:02
Maddie you have to understand that turtles are well known slow thieves. They’ll break into your house your car very slowly. And so the homeowner wanted to know immediately if they should be concerned about this turtle. Oh no slough

Rufus T. Rufus 6:21
thieves. I have never what is this? This is jibber jabber that you’re you’re promoting here voice man. This you come on to the show you interrupt me by the way. And now all of a sudden you’re going to talk about how turtles are what a day the enemy of the people. I don’t I don’t I don’t buy that one. I’m not a lawyer of this podcast, I have to say, I want to make sure that we’re not saying anything about art at all. Brethren, that is you know good. We could be liable for that we could get in trouble for so yeah. Voice man. I’m gonna ask you just to kind of slow down a little bit on the turtle talk until we get this handled. Okay.

Voice Man 7:12
I completely understand but uh, here the coffee can ally newsdesk, I bring the news to you

Natty Bumpercar 7:20
over over 400 episodes in and we’ve we’ve we’ve never had a breaking news during a podcast so I don’t really what the was it the turtle? That’s what you decided. This is the episode that I have to break into because there was a turtle on somebody’s yard.

Voice Man 7:39
There’s not a lot of news happening and round coffee. Sometime sometimes, you know, news man a weather news man like myself finds myself sitting here at the desk and just looking for stories and this came across and I figured I would try it.

Rufus T. Rufus 7:56
Now now. No good. No, no. Strike one voice man when the news is important, especially local news, but this is like hyper local, and it’s about a turtle so it turtles not I did some research I looked over not known there as there were no reported accounts of a turtle breaking into a house or stealing a car. No turtles have ever done this. According to the internet. Everyone knows the internet never lie now

Natty Bumpercar 8:33
I don’t I don’t know if we should say that the internet never lies because there’s a lot of places that stories come from. But yeah, I agree. I don’t want to besmirch turtles we actually have if you look at our analytics for this podcast so many turtles that listen and so to all the turtles out there listening right now to the bumper podcast I apologize moving forward we’re gonna have you know any breaking news stories vetted out

Aloysius J. Pig 9:02
excellent reminds me I got a postcard in the mail that says I need to get vetted I need to get vetted what do you what do you mean get vetted What are you talking about to go to the vet to get looked at a checked out or will my my yearly pig examination you know get my not get everything checked worked on

Natty Bumpercar 9:22
okay you know that’s that’s called going to the vet That’s not called Getting vetted. But as soon as you’re done with the show, I will call and make an appointment for you to get you checked out you’re

Producer 9:37
going yet if you’re making an appointment for Aloysius it’s possible you can sir make an appointment for me because I also need to go to the to the vet for yes you to action that I have been going on okay.

Natty Bumpercar 9:52
Oh producer I’m okay. Sure. Is that Is there a you Okay? Is there anything that I need to worry about or If anything at all,

Producer 10:01
I didn’t want to talk about it, especially in light of what voice man said. But I was walking through the swamp the other day and the turtle came up to me and he beat me up a little bit. And I think I just don’t well, I’m feeling a little bit off. Wait.

Natty Bumpercar 10:23
Wait, so you’re saying a turtle. Okay. Maybe I made our turtles maybe not as nice as I’ve come to expect. Am I in the wrong about turtles? Does anyone know about turtles? Please reach out to us and let us know. Seriously

Voice Man 10:43
another bit of breaking news. I’m sorry to interrupt but I was already here another turtle has been spotted in a different yard. This turtle has been found to not be someone’s pet. This turtle was wearing a banjo on his back and was headed he said to Music City. little turtle oh

Natty Bumpercar 11:10
we’ve had two turtles, three turtle stories now in one day. The first is it was one a pet. The second one was producer getting beat up by a turtle which I’m not laughing at I swear. And now the third one is that there’s a turtle with a banjo on his back who’s said he’s headed to Music City. So we’re really running the gamut today on turtle stories. It must be a slow news day

Rufus T. Rufus 11:36
now. Oh, Natty I’m gonna beg you to never do that again. Ever. Oh, that was our that hurt me that joke actually hurt me was a joke was that exactly. I was here and listening. But I didn’t hear and normally I try to see how many jokes I hear but I didn’t understand he made a joke

Producer 11:55
about slow news.

Outro 12:09
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

NonPro 13:29
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash

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The Natty Bumpercar Bumperpodcast
The Natty Bumpercar Bumperpodcast
Natty Bumpercar

Every week, Natty Bumpercar presents a few ounces of ridiculousness with a dash or two of stupefaction. It's totes banoo!