Join the uproarious fun in Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, the top-rated improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners in stitches. In this laugh-out-loud episode, Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle find themselves in a hilarious debate, trying to figure out whether the show is supposed to be about sugar or surgery. As the gang navigates this confusing and comical conundrum, their quick wit and dynamic interactions deliver endless entertainment.
Listeners are in for a treat as the characters dive into absurd scenarios, blending the sweet and the surgical in ways only the Bumperpodcast can. The episode promises a delightful mix of spontaneity and humor, showcasing the unique charm and chemistry of Coffee-Can Alley’s most beloved residents. Tune in to this side-splitting episode and join the fun as Natty and the crew bring their trademark humor to the most unexpected topics. Don’t miss out on the comedy gold—hit play and enjoy the Bumperpodcast!
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Transcription
Natty Bumpercar 0:00
I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.
And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.
Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
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About This Episode
In episode 443 of the Bumperpodcast, confusion reigns supreme as Rufus T. Rufus questions how Natty Bumpercar can name an episode before recording it. The crew debates whether the show is about "sugary" or "surgery," leading to a hilarious spelling lesson from Aloysious J. Pig. Each character denies needing surgery—Rufus fears hospitals due to generational trauma, Producer explains frogs don't use hospitals, and Doodle Poodle pops in briefly to discuss worms. Robot makes an appearance claiming influencer status. Eventually, Natty reveals the truth: he's having arthroscopic knee surgery, explaining that hope and dreams are the only things holding his knee together. This improvisational comedy showcases the signature chaos and wordplay that makes the Bumperpodcast a delightfully absurd listen.
Memorable Quotes
“This is the team that you handpicked? This is the team that you went around the world and you gathered together your squad to make a podcast?”
— Aloysious J. Pig
“I don't have anything holding my knee together. The doctor's like, well, you don't have one of these, you don't have one of those. I said, well, what's keeping me up? He said, hope, dreams. I said, oh, no! I lost those a long time ago!”
— Natty Bumpercar
“We're 11 minutes into this, and we still ain't got no idea about nothing, so could you educate us a little bit?”
— Rufus T. Rufus
Topics: #surgery #hospitals #medicalprocedures #improvisation #wordplay #healthcare #friendship #podcastmeta-humor
Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Natty Bumpercar
Full Transcript
Rufus T. Rufus: well now uh i was looking at the title of the podcast and i found it very interesting that you came up with the title before you even you know record the show and so it makes me wonder like i thought this whole thing was supposed to be uh organic i thought this whole thing was supposed to be improvised but so how do you come up with the name of the show before you even recorded the show if the whole thing is supposed to be made up on the spot now is what i'm at is what i'm at excuse me is what i'm asking you yeah no that makes uh yes so the yes the whole thing is made up on the spot but today um we have a big event happening and so i thought what would be nice would be fun is if we talked about the main event and so i was i was gonna kind of steer it towards that and so normally i don't name the shows before but today i was just like well i know what it's kind of gonna be about so i might as well just go ahead and name it that right yeah so what what i don't know what is it named does anybody it's called sugary what sugary it's gone this episode whatever it is and it just says sugary so i didn't know if it was talking about like uh cereal or you know uh what you know what kind of uh honey and like alternative sweetness maybe for for my iced tea i i know i natty take it away i suppose i just wow you know we're gonna talk about sugar i guess no no no people come on to me and they say you know rufus you don't even need any sugar because it's sweet enough yeah no we're not talking about sugar that's fun that's nice put some more sugar in my teeth yeah okay great it's not we're not talking about sugar but it's in the title there it's hard it's but that's not the title is what i'm saying it's not sugary it's exactly what it says sugary
Aloysious J. Pig: s-u-g no sorry i'm reading the title i'm sorry don't talk it's s-u-r-g-e-r-y sugary right natty did you like you you went around and you this is the team that you handpicked
Rufus T. Rufus: this is the team that you went around the world and you you you gathered together your squad to make a podcast a bumper podcast uh and uh i am aloysius jay pig i don't know if we did are we introducing ourselves anymore is that something we still do okay perfect you can call me pig so um s s-u-r-g-e-r-y is uh surgery is what is that's that's what you spelled surgery right let's break it down like the door that clamps surgery okay surgery yeah wait a minute who's who's having surgery am i having surgery i don't i don't know if you're having surgery i don't know if you're having surgery i don't know i certainly hope that i'm not having any kind of surgery i'm afraid of uh of hospitals i don't even like to go to the doctor there's a certain way that it smells in there the lighting is just terrible for me uh and you know there's just a lot of stuff that you know could happen you could you could get lost you know you could uh eat some sort of something you could get lost you know you some bad food you could they could you could get forgotten you can get left there forever that happened to somebody in my family it was my uncle great great great uncle but he went to the hospital and somebody misplaced him and we never ever saw him again and you know that's one of the things i i fear it's way um it's a generational trauma is is is as i anytime i go to the hospital i think that i hope i hold on to the person's hand that i'm with and i said now don't you leave me this is the buddy system and i'm gonna need you to keep me uh in sight at all times and keep me wait a minute now who you al cyrus is so good if you're not having surgery and i certainly
Aloysious J. Pig: uh hospital studies there's really not a hospital for frogs so much you know you kind of you you're born in the swamp you don't go anywhere to get born and if you get sick you know you just kind of go into the water a little bit and then you come out you feel better and you know if you get hurt you just kind of take a nap and then you you're a frog and so you just kind of wake up and you're like well you know yeah sure i got hurt and everything but uh i feel a lot better you know you just go on a bachelor's day uh i did want to know he was a toad another frog but he had um um wisdom teeth surgery um which he went in for but the the only bad thing that happened to him was that his insurance did not cover any of it and so it put him into a dire financial situation and the whole thing was just
Rufus T. Rufus: different than just regular tooth law like you got your dentist law obviously you got your orthodontist law which is a whole other subset of the other uh subcategory but uh wisdom teeth are their own kind of special law that i i did dip my toe into a little bit back in in my uh scholar lady days so you just send that toad on over to me and i i i will i will do my best to to make everything all right as i do as i do so now hold on we've eliminated uh myself uh rufus t rufus from getting uh surgery and aloysius you're saying that you're not you're not getting it either perfect all right and uh producer you're saying you also your frogs there's no frog surgery who is at leave anyway well uh so none of us are getting it uh maybe you know i'm i'm hesitant to say their names because sometimes when i say the names they just show up but uh maybe it's doodle poodle or robot i guess it could be hi hi hi everybody it's
Doodle Poodle: it's me doodle poodle and this is gogtrasil but I haven't been in the podcast studio in so long. I've been busy, though, making some doodles. Hup, hup. So, anyway, no, I haven't been. And last time I went to the doctor, it's because I had worms. Oh, oh. So, I don't think I'm going to go to the hospital for any surgery for any kind of nitty thing. So, it's not me. But thanks for asking about me, and I'm glad to be on the show. And I'm going to go and make some doodles. Maybe I'll doodle a hospital, and I'll doodle some surgery, and I'll doodle some worms, and it'll be the best thing I'll ever doodle.
Rufus T. Rufus: I am so incredibly sorry that I mentioned, that I said your name. Oh, he's already gone. Okay. Well, lesson learned. Oh, that was a lot to contend with. I think we missed out, though. I think the other one must not have heard his. Oh, for the love of Pete.
Robot: It's me, honey, everybody. It's me. I'm a robot, and, wow, two weeks in a row, and I am on the Bumper Podcast. I feel like an influencer. I feel like a superstar. I feel like my career is popping off as careers do.
Rufus T. Rufus: Now, Aloysius, this is all your fault. Obviously, but no, robot, we … no, you're not an influencer. We were just trying to figure out who's going to be getting surgery. There was some confusion earlier on if the show was about sugary, and it's not. It's about surgery. We went around the horn. We went around the table here. Okay. Okay. everybody, really. We talked to, you know, Aloysius, we talked to a producer, and then we talked to Doodleboodle came by, and now, you know, we talked to you, and you know, I guess we're just not sure exactly. I'm not, and none of us are, so I kind of wonder, Natty, are you going to come back in the room? No, yeah, come on. I know it's crowded in here, but you can come on back in. Is it a typo? Is this the whole show supposed to be about sugar? I know we were saying that it was surgery, and somebody was spelling it, and everything. I think I was, maybe it was at you, Aloysius, and it just don't make no sense. We're 11 minutes into this, and we still ain't got no idea about nothing, so could you educate us a little bit? Can you shed a little bit of your light on the subject? As it were. Yeah, yes. I was waiting for anybody to ask me, because you were all talking to each other. I actually got up and walked out at a point there because nobody even looked my way, and it's me. It's me. It's me. I get to have surgery today. I, um, knee surgery. It's what I thought was orthoscopic surgery, but it's arthroscopic surgery. Arthroscopic surgery? Yes. Where they put a camera in, I don't want to get too graphic, but they put a camera into my knee, and they see what's going on. Um, I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm old. A million years ago, I had knee surgery, because I don't have anything holding my knee together, and the doctor's like, well, you don't have one of these, you don't have one of those. I said, well, what's keeping me up? He said, hope, listen, dreams. I said, oh, no! I lost those a long time ago!
Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts! See you soon!
Unknown: Natty Bumpercar. Natty Bumpercar.
