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[av_toggle_container faq_markup=’faq_markup’ initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” size-toggle=” av-desktop-font-size-toggle=” av-medium-font-size-toggle=” av-small-font-size-toggle=” av-mini-font-size-toggle=” size-content=” av-desktop-font-size-content=” av-medium-font-size-content=” av-small-font-size-content=” av-mini-font-size-content=” heading_tag=” heading_class=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-l8k9brqu’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-l8k9bqdc’ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:09 We haven’t had a beat like this in a while oh let’s just take this out all right here we go Aloysius J. Pig 0:19 what a call me Allah wishes and I am a piggy I moved from the farm to the big city they will call my name but it ain’t no pity they call me I say hey pretty big he Natty Bumpercar 0:27 asleep on the stream see asleep on the train? I know it sounds silly or noisy. But I worry where we weren’t going where I’m stressed why we were worried to the boiler room bro Aloysius J. Pig 0:36 don’t worry just know that I got this Producer 0:40 man forcing your life or seeing your nose driving because I thought I’m a mental frog who would do this? Because everybody everybody who’s with me now everybody everybody who’s with me now no raise your hand up to this guy and turn Aloysius J. Pig 1:26 my car on see people call me your highness. Don’t get it twisted, bro. I’m just worried about I’m allergic to shyness which is Producer 1:35 priceless. Price hurt. Everybody knows us priceless. Aloysius J. Pig 1:39 egg sack to mouth Dow Producer 1:43 soaring in Europe in the car because I can think this year my addicted to sugar. That’s why I’m so sweet. I love fruits and veggies. I never eat meat. On the sidewalks. The bikes go on street they stopped any snow. They covered stuff. When I’m rocking the mic, you know rock beats Aloysius J. Pig 1:56 actually impressed? I’m very impressed. Very impressed. Very impressed with you. And all the rides and the music stuff you do. You’re given an array can take no more. Okay, better stick around for what we have in store. Oh, oh, oh. Natty Bumpercar 2:29 1234 Holy, that was such a great way to kick the summer doldrums out. Thank you, ah, normally, every year that I’ve been doing this, which is over a decade now, August into September is brutal. And we only record like, a half an episode, if even that, and this year, you know, I think we did miss a couple of weeks because we were at the beach and whatever. But like, it’s I think, you know, we made up for it with this amazing song. I don’t, I don’t know if that’s like, just the podcast, or just everything, you know, like, you grow up, and you have your seasons, and you have your summer, which comes around and it’s ingrained on us as kids that summer is this magical time and you’re not in school, and you get to go and have all these adventures and you’re going on vacation and you’re hanging out with your friends, and you’re in the pool. And then the summer comes to a close, the summer comes to an end and you get sad. And things start to slow down and you kind of start to get a little nostalgic, and you start to look back on the things you did this summer. And, and maybe the things you missed out on and the things you used to do during the summer. And you know the things that you you miss from from from the past. And then maybe you get a little bubble of nerves that you’re going to be going back to school. And and you don’t know who’s going to be in your class and who’s who’s who’s going to be your teacher? And What room are you going to be in and what are you going to wear and what are you going to learn and what if you can’t learn it and then it becomes like this big well of anxiety and, and nerves. And it’s so different from the summer where everything is is easy, and fun and light knits you’re going back to structure. And some people do pretty well with structure. I sometimes do. But a lot of the times I don’t my brain just doesn’t seem to be able to make sense of structure, mostly because it’s a structure that someone else has invented for their minds. Does that make sense? The people who make structure, for the most part, are making structure that makes sense to them. And a lot of the times that structure makes sense for a lot of other people, but then there’s a lot of other other people that it doesn’t make sense for. And so, if you’re on the outside of the structure that’s been created, then you’re gonna be confused, and maybe even bemused. And several other used uses, probably, and, you know, for those other other people, then you have to find your way. And sometimes society isn’t super awesome at making roads or paths or ways for the other other people to pick up or figure out how to interact or to deal or to live within or just to be in in the structure. And unless you have on understanding helpful stewards to help you through all of that, then it becomes very difficult. And you spend a lot of time seemingly fighting against the structure. That’s what people sometimes think they go, Oh, why is this person fighting against the structure? Why can’t they just be normal? Oh, why can’t they just be part of the, of what everyone else is doing getting step getting in line? Is they don’t understand that. to that person, that line doesn’t make sense. to that person. What you have written up there on the board? Doesn’t make sense. I mean, that person is looking at it, that person is trying to make sense of it. But it just doesn’t work. It’s not seeming to make any sense to, to to their brain. And by they I am I mean, me, but a lot of other people too. And that’s okay. Man, my opinion. Everyone is everyone, everyone’s individual, right? Everyone comes from things from different directions. Everyone has different experiences in their life. Everyone has different perspectives. And that’s what makes the world awesome. If everyone saw things in the exact same way, and everyone did things in the exact same way, well, then where were the fun in that be? Going to mix it up a little bit every every so often. But here’s the thing. Sometimes when you mix it up, the people who are used to the structure who liked the structure, get upset. They’re like, hey, stop rocking the boat. Hey, stop doing what you’re doing. Because what you’re doing is antithetical to what I’m doing near like, I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be antithetical. I was just doing what I thought was the right thing. What I thought was what I was supposed to do. Well, it’s not. Do you ever get that to ever feel like you’re doing what you think is supposed to be done? What you think is supposed to be right. And then out of nowhere, you get walloped. ballyhooed knocked about, hey, what are you doing? And then you’re like, Oh, no. And then you kind of stopped and you’re like, oh, maybe I don’t know what I’m doing. Maybe I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. What do I do? What do I do? And then you hear the phrase you like a deer caught in the headlights. All the other days. I heard somebody say, oh, it’s like a squirrel caught in the headlights. And I was like the squirrels also get going down lights. And I was like, why did we settle on deer? Like, are there a lot of animals that get stuck in headlights? If I were to be honest, I’ve seen people humans that are on the road that get you stuck in the headlights. I really think a lot of animals if there’s a vehicle coming towards them, and there’s headlights that are very bright and that are flashing at them. I think that the people are going to get caught in those headlights is all I’m saying. All I’m saying I don’t know why we had to put it on the deer. They did. I mean, you know, I’m not gonna and maybe there’s some deer who are fine with lights. You know, I’m not I’m not going to just put all deer into one bucket has always been a funny thing. Going back to the conversation we’re having before buckets pigeonhole. People love to put people in buckets because buckets makes sense. Oh, you’re this type of person. Oh, you’re that kind of person. Oh, you go over there. That’s what you fit into that bucket. But sometimes, and most times, I would say, people are made up of several buckets. You know, and otherwise, life wouldn’t be very fulfilling, I wouldn’t think I don’t know. And sometimes the people with the buckets go, Whoa, you’re I said, you’re in that bucket. Why? What are you doing over here in these other buckets? And you’re like, I don’t know. I like to be in several buckets at once. And they go, Oh, no, my friend. No. Go get in your bucket. You know, and then sometimes, depending, you’ll go and you’ll get in that bucket for a while. You realize, ah, this bucket isn’t as fulfilling as I want it to be this book is it’s just not what I want. And then, you know, as you grow and you have more experiences, then you start finding your ways into other buckets, and exploring different buckets. And then you kind of get to do Do you I guess, as people say, I don’t know. Aloysius J. Pig 11:29 Yeah, yes, Natty Bumpercar have in the jam of the summer the biggest Song of the Year. And then he turns that and he goes into some medical metaphysical talk about buckets. They should call you natty bucket calm No, like Natty Bumpercar 11:49 I mean it’s funny but I don’t think I like natty bucket car but I don’t know you know, we’re having fun with the song and then I was just I just started thinking like I do sometimes my brain starts sometimes my brain starts thinking not all the time but sometimes Rufus T. Rufus 12:04 now I just check the URL for not at bucket con someone has already purchased that and actually a selling wonderful little buckets here so I think we can just move along from the bucket idea. I think that’s not gonna stand I think you know, it was a good idea pig, but I don’t think we’re gonna fly with that Aloysius J. Pig 12:20 one. Oh, well, well, at least we’re you know, we’re not going to have natty bucket QA, but at least we got that that hip hip jam from Ireland Natty Bumpercar 12:29 jam. Outro 12:42 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon. NonPro 14:01 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]Tag: vacation
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Bumperpodcast #421 – Season 2 – Doldrums
Have you ever heard of the doldrums? Have you ever even seen the doldrums? Well, you’re about to! The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode! -
Bumperpodcast #419 – Season 2 – Technical Difficulties
We haven’t had technical issues like this in quite a while. Hold onto your bricks!The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar
Another story about saving baby animals!
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
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Natty Bumpercar 0:04
Let’s see what happens next. No one is ever really sure what happens until it actually happens. For instance, this morning I woke up which is normally something that I would completely expect to have happen. However, things were not as they normally seem. Things are not as they normally appear. Things were not as they normally should baseAloysius J. Pig 0:35
about. I’m really diggin the new voice. But here’s the thing, I’m convinced. Hey, everybody, it’s me. Aloysius jpg, this is the bumper podcast. You might be listening on Montclair radio, what the heck? Radio Free Montclair, or you might be listening. You in your podcast, CATIA, suburban Essex magazine, were in it. What’s up? Okay. Anyway, Bubba. The voice is great. But I’m pretty sure you’re you’re only doing it that long? Because you’re afraid you’re gonna lose it.Natty Bumpercar 1:12
I don’t I don’t know.God pig, why did you distract me? I don’t know. I’d love that. That was a fun character that I was doing a fun voice.
And I don’t
like I lost it. Now now
Rufus T. Rufus 1:30
that you understand that in order for you to put a proper copyright on to a voice. You can’t do that unless you get it on tape for more than a minute and a half. And I don’t I believe you all need about 27 seconds. So if you can’t figure out whatever that was, was and you can’t you’re not gonna be able to tell it’s not your voice.Natty Bumpercar 1:53
Yes, fine. I understand. Well, okay, great, fine. So now now what’s going to happen is we’re going to go through the rest of this podcast, and I’m going to be freaking out that I can’t figure out how to do this voice. And then I’ll go back and I’ll listen to this podcast. It’s at 27 seconds, and see if I can figure it out. That’s what that’s what’s gonna happen rightProducer 2:16
now. It’s me, producer. And I was wondering, I could maybe go back to the time of you making these funny voice and we could maybe do some time something with it. And maybe you could I don’t know. Look, you got a little bit louder. That’s what we were hoping for. Good. We could maybe see if we could maybe extended Yamani Tammany seconds do you need exactly I don’t know. INatty Bumpercar 2:48
think Rufus said a minute and a half so that’s what how many there’s how many seconds are there in a minute, guys?Aloysius J. Pig 2:57
I’m trying to I don’t know. I didn’t know it’s gonna be a quiz. I didn’t know there was going to be some sort of a math quiz. So we’re seconds and a minute how many is there some sort of device we could ask or something like that? How many seconds? I dang a minute.Spot Elliot 3:16
Oh, no. Man. seconds there already in a minute. I heard somebody come on in and please to to be telling me.Natty Bumpercar 3:33
That was that was spot Elliot. I haven’t seen I haven’t heard spot Elliot on this podcast. So log in spot. Elliot is a cat. He’s best friends with peanut Lu. And he has such a deep voice. I don’t I don’t know. Wow,Aloysius J. Pig 3:49
did you sleep last night? Because, okay, first off, this podcast is very much off the rails as it tends to be. You’d never even said your name. You didn’t say well, I already took care of the the ID. But also, you know, your voices.Natty Bumpercar 4:06
I don’t know. There’s a lot of strange things happening is all I’m saying. No, I know. I know. I hear that you have a funny echo going on with. So we went on vacation and we came back and the studio was all broken down like taken apart. And now everything just sounds kind of weird. And it feels kind of strange. And producer. I don’t know if you set everything up the way it was supposed to be set up.Producer 4:33
Never be please. You know, don’t don’t be throwing your Don’t be pointing your flippers at me. You know, I know I’m the producer. But I didn’t break everything down. I don’t know why we even took it apart because the studios usually just always here. So whoever came in and did all the wires and move the microbiome, you know, those are the stuff the Knott’s Berry Yeah, Ryan we should talk to I don’t but I don’t know who it was because I don’t handle stuff like that.Natty Bumpercar 5:00
No yeah I understand I’m just looking at everything I Hey everyone I hope you’re this is I don’t know if this is moderately interesting or just terrible for you but I apologize that we’re you know, we’re gonna do it live we’re gonna do it live so there’s this is where the wire goes into there and that wire goes up there and the wire goes all the way over there and those are that’s connected and that that’s turned on there and then that goes from there to that you know i Everything seems like it’s it’s it’s properly set up but I don’t know this there I’m getting weird echoes I’m getting strange voices from nowhere mySpot Elliot 5:43
Nomi for the cartoon called super special where I was with my friend Lou and we were in a diner and we ordered this super specialAloysius J. Pig 5:55
we interviewing you not why? Listen spot Elliott it’s nice if you’ve stopped by but today might not be the best day because we’re having all kinds of technical issues. So maybe we can rebook him producer or is that do even book guests? It’s just such an open door policy where people just show up I don’t even know anymore.Producer 6:13
Nothing yelping yard because he people can, they can reach out to me and then I can schedule a you know, a visit and appointments and interviews and whatnot like that. And you know, that’s normally how he does it. It’s not these people did, showing up. I don’t thinkRufus T. Rufus 6:30
it’s children. It’s recently come here from the northern ball to check in on you. It’s August. And the year is almost halfway done. And we’re coming in soon to the full season. And I need to know if everyone has been good or bad. And of course, you know, I need this for my list. So I can come down the chimneys, and deliver presents to everyone.Natty Bumpercar 6:57
No, no, Santa. It’s I don’t know why you’re here, but it’s great to see you. Should we just scrap this? Can we throw this episode away? Is that something that? No, after five minutes, we have to keep it Wow. Okay, I’m finally got all these rules today. Hey, everyone, so it’s me Natty Bumpercar We went away, we went to a place called Cape Cod, which is the beach and there was there was sand. Because that’s, you know, kind of what happens on the beach. And it was very nice. But evidently, while we were gone, there was there was some work done here in the studio. Very exciting work. We now have heat and air conditioning. So that’s I years in the making very exciting here in the bumper barn. Where the studio is that we have a climate controlled situation, unfortunately, I guess the everything was moved around and changed up and now it doesn’t work the way it used to. That’s fine. That’s the perils of podcasting. You know, and a lot of times what people will do is actually run a test episode but not not here. Because evidently, if it’s content if it comes out on 10 isRufus T. Rufus 8:23
KingProducer 8:24
suicides you are lookingRufus T. Rufus 8:25
for the king because the king can come in at any time. You may need him the king is already for yourself. I didn’t I didn’t even know we had a king this is all news to me. Natalie I thought because you know us were in that little crown a little hot with a little crown. I kind of thought that maybe you were the king or something but maybe not. I don’t know how that works. But we I think we need to gather ourselves a bit maybe have a staff meeting and I sound like a car engine run on.Natty Bumpercar 9:10
Can we just stop recording for a minute and see if we can figure out the levels and the echo and then we’ll come back Okay, let’s try that. Okay, IProducer 9:18
think that maybe see what that sounds like.Natty Bumpercar 9:21
Honestly, it sounds much better but I think that we’re now spiking aboutAloysius J. Pig 9:25
what is spiking me What is that like podcasting technical time or something?Natty Bumpercar 9:30
Just cuz there’s these levels, the sound levels when you’re recording audio, which podcasting is typically an audio medium, but now it’s more video two, which I don’t even want to wrap my head around. But so producer can can you show him the computer so he can see the little waves and then you can see what I’m talkingProducer 9:49
about. We just do a see on this screen here the monitor which is a screen which is I don’t know why is your mind and you’re monitoring your computers. I don’t know. Anyway, it’s so The thing is little lines here that you can see when I talk, you see me talking, and it’s going into the little thing. And it’s making little wavy things and lines and whatnot. And so the problem is before it was too hot, the microphone was too hot to touch. It is too hot. It’s like a it’s like an oven. So you could give it to too many lines. Basically.Rufus T. Rufus 10:20
I feel like maybe we got our stuff kind of figured out. But we’re not going to mention that we’re not even going to acknowledge that Santa Claus was here. And he’s not here anymore. But that was very strange. He just kind of popped in. And he also said something we had about August being halfway through the year. I think we can all agree August is well into the latter part, you’reNatty Bumpercar 10:46
going to fall I always have a hard time with former in ladder. I don’t I can’t ever figure it out when people were like, give me a list. They’re like, which one do you prefer? Well, I prefer the former and I’m just like, I don’t know what that beads. Do you just tell me which one? Hey, act like a act like this guy over here doesn’t know. And can you just tell us which restaurant Did you wanted to go to? Also, yeah, that was strange that Santa came but I am thrilled that the I think we finally get the podcast back on track. Excellent job producer. I’m really that’s for you to do that while recording. I don’t know how you did it. But I guess you just kind of moved some knobs around and everything and made it all sounds so much better. So I think you from for me and for the listeners, of course. So now this is exciting. Let’s guess we can actually have a podcast. Oh, wonderful. IAloysius J. Pig 11:41
wonder what we should talk about. We could talk about vacation. We could talk about how it was so high. Yeah.Natty Bumpercar 11:47
I mean, there’s so we could talk about the summer doldrums, which I don’t know if some people know but Okay, so let’s go ahead and start the podcast. Is is is is everybody is everybody ready?Outro 12:09
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.NonPro 13:29
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.comTranscribed by https://otter.ai
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Bumperpodcast #305 – Jumbled-up!
Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. We have a great interview, some call-ins, and we finally have a Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!
The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
It’s almost too much to bear – isn’t it? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.
And – don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.
We don’t have a special guest, this week – because everything broke – but – we’re hoping to have one next week (fingers are crossed).
About This Episode
In this episode, Natty Bumpercar returns after a two-week hiatus caused by a disastrous OS beta upgrade that broke his recording equipment. He shares stories from his family vacation to Cape Cod, including getting moved to the less convenient cabin number seven with creepy carpeting, rescuing a crab named Mr. Crabs from seagulls, and crying during a screening of Shaun the Sheep. Natty also vents about the challenges of tile flooring, the chaos of kids with scooters, and his frustrations with contractors after three fell through on his home bathroom renovation project. This candid, rambling solo episode showcases Natty's signature storytelling style as he catches listeners up on his life.
Memorable Quotes
“If you have a beach cabin don't carpet it, it's creepy. Just make it hardwood. I don't want your tile, your cold cold tile. It feels like it's sucking the soul out of my body.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“So if you're upstairs stealing my stuff keep it down because I'm recording a podcast unless you want to be interviewed.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“We watched Shaun the Sheep and I cried. You're sitting next to your kids and there's a song about summer and it's summer and oh man what are you doing.”
— Natty Bumpercar
Topics: #vacation #technologyproblems #capecod #family #homerenovation #beach #parenting
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar
Full Transcript
Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast i just yawned so big i mean like right before i clicked the button it was the biggest longest it was like hey you're about to do something you're here's the yawn here's the biggest jawn you've ever yawned in your entire yawn um but that's not because i'm not excited it's not because i'm not thrilled because i am i'm wonderfully happy to be here i missed you i went on vacation i put out uh an episode while i was on vacation and then i came back to find out that the uh the software and the hardware the technology the things were broken things didn't work i don't know what happened okay i do know what happened i uh i got excited i got giddy and i upgraded my computer's uh os which means operating system to the newest uh uh beta it's called oh it's a beta it's gonna be released in like a few weeks and i was like oh that's safe that's fine even though the whole time there's all these warnings that are like don't don't do this don't do this on your main computer if this is your only computer we highly recommend against you doing this and i was like ah it's fine of course it's gonna be fine what could possibly that's what happened no recording i had interviews set up with people and uh that's how i actually discovered that it didn't work i was like oh i'm so sorry hold on one second uh no it's still not working uh could you please hold on one second i think i've got this uh just need to oh no it's still not hmm okay let me just i'm gonna call you back in a couple of minutes and uh no it never worked so it's fine we rescheduled some stuff actually reached out to the company and it's a specific part of the whole uh of the ordeal uh that records the interviews for pig and everyone seems to like these pig interviews and i certainly enjoy listening to them so um i was i was like well what do i do so i spent like the week trying to figure out everything see if there was new software different software anything that i needed to get or do and there was not company reached back out to me and they said oh looks like you've downloaded the beta and i was like ah you yeah i did how'd you know that so um you know they fixed they made a patch which is very nice of them a little patch uh to fix the beta and now and now it's back up and running so uh that's exciting but what that means now is it's been two uh two weeks since uh an interview uh since a podcast and so i was like i don't even i'm jumping on i gotta talk to my peeps i was on vacation they don't know nothing about nothing right i went to cape cod with the babies and the family and we had a lot of fun it was a lot more fun this year it was a lot of uh well here's a weird thing i'm gonna go first i swear to god the dog is walking around upstairs it sounds like he's uh a gang of people destroying my house there's only a dog here but the amount of noise that i'm hearing above me makes me think i should probably call the police but i'm not because i'm recording and i don't want to miss out on another week so if you're upstairs stealing my stuff keep it down because i'm recording a podcast unless you want to be interviewed i'm not going to be interviewing you interviewed because i can't enter i couldn't interview that'd be great so you break into houses how tell me how you got into that oh really uh-huh and when you when you saw my house what made you think there would be anything of value here oh you're looking at my computer i see interesting should i should mention to you before you're trying to take it i see but i should mention it's on the beta so maybe you don't want to take it that's right i know i don't know why i downloaded it's my only computer ah thanks good interview um so we went to cape cod and the way it works is my my wife's aunts and uncle aunt and uncle have been going there for no joke like 45 years or something amazing like that and then they have their kids and uh so how does it work there's there's there's ocean and there's a hill and there's one cabin two cabin three cabin and then they are number four and they have a nice deck and they can see everything and they have this nice cabin within cabin five six seven are their kids who bring their significant others and their kids we're talking about a lot of people here is what i'm saying and then for the last seven years this was our eighth year for the last seven years we were cabin number six boom boom right there right right at the top of the hill you can go out on there's a little deck in front so you can sit and you can watch the kids playing and we were very excited this year because it was gonna be the first year where we knew that we could just hang out and we could we could see everything that was going on and our kids wouldn't really need us to uh keep them alive as much but some double booking going on i'm assuming the soft wear for the booking engine was in beta i'm just gonna keep saying beta because it makes me happy uh and and uh our cabin got booked our cabin got booked we've been there the last seven years there was a contract but anyway we got moved to cabin number seven which i know you're thinking that's not such a big deal but it's it it was because uh you're that we're cut off by about you know whatever it is 30 yards or whatever no not 30 yards 30 yards 30 yards 30 yards 30 yards that's 90 feet i don't know we'll say 50 say 50 50 60 feet from the other cabins which means you can't get to the kids when they fall off their scooters or when they ram their scooters into other children or when they pick their scooters up and use them as weapons what i'm saying is scooters are really the issue here scooters are the problem and uh to get to them we actually the steps to get off of our little uh cabin you had to go back to the cabin and we had to go back to the cabin and we had to go back to the cabin backwards to get to the steps to then come back the other way which added another 30 or 40 feet which meant it took you a solid if you were hustling it took you about 45 seconds to get down to the kids screaming the whole way what are you doing why would you do that you stop that leave your him alone leave her alone get away from each other i don't know but so the new cabin was weird it was also carpeted which ladies and gentlemen if you have a beach cabin don't carpet it it's creepy all right just letting you know i'm just right up front letting you know i don't know what kind of people listen to this show but if you have a cabin just make it hardwood all right make it tile don't make it tile let's not make it tile tiles cold let's make it wood all right make it nice old wood let's seal it and let's just keep it real i don't want your tile your cold cold tile when i'm walking on tile with my bare feet it feels like it's sucking the soul out of my body it feels like the tile is is a vacuum and every step i take it's just sucking it's just taking the life out of me it's like a crypt i don't want to walk on tile just stop it with a tile and even if there's tile in your bathroom i'm gonna need you to put a little rug in there a little throw rug whatever it's called one of those really furry little rugs all right because i want as little time stepping on tile as i can possibly get anyway it was a great vacation it was nice it was one of those vacations where you're there for a long time and i mean we're there for a week i guess but it feel it felt like longer like some of the times we've been there it's been like you blink your eye and you're like that was so fast that vacation is already over but this one it actually it felt like an extended play it was a remix it was great um and we go i'll one day i'll get the kids in here and they can tell you all about it but if i ask the kids about it because it was already two weeks ago they'll be like what's going on and i'll be like oh my god i'm what'd you do on vacation they'll be like i didn't go on vacation you're like yeah you did you went to cape cod and be like i don't know what did you do i don't know we watched it was one day it was a little bit uh gonna be a little bit rainy so there's a movie theater and they show kids movies and at i think it was like something insane like 8 30 in the morning it might have been 9 30 i don't know it was early we were at a movie theater and we watched sean the sheep oh and i cried it's a movie makes me cry it's sean the sheep it's sean the sheep you should watch that movie it's a great movie oh now i'm crying again it's like because you're sitting next to your kids and there's a song about summer and it's summer and oh man what are you doing oh we also found crabs giant crabs just hanging out on the beach we saved a crab from some seagulls put it in a bucket put it when there's some sand and some water and some seaweed and stuff and we named them crabby or mr crabs i don't know it switched and then we took them to a different place we took them to a place called red river we set them free in the in the beach grass and he walked away and then two days later we were back at red river and there was a giant crab almost twice the size of crabby and i was like look crabby grew my kids were like he must have eaten a good meal and i was like what you guys are so smart and now we're back in school there's been a lot going on is what i'm saying next week i'm excited though because we're gonna be back with the regular bumper podcast with the interviews i'm just trying to catch you up i did a roast battle i was at a comedy show and i did a roast battle i'm gonna talk about more of that and that more uh next week i'm building a bathroom in my house you should i want to tell you about that because why because the contractors all fell through how many three well two fell through and then the last guy his estimate was no joke three times more than the than the other guy and i'm gonna be back with the regular bumper podcast with the interviews guys and i was just like no what are you what are you building what are you what are you building this out of gold i'm i don't need a gold wall that would be pretty nice if i had a gold wall though i'm not gonna lie um but lots going on lots to talk about lots of interviews coming up lots of good stuff coming up let's go bumper podcast
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Bumperpodcast #205: A real ba-noo situation up on the docks.
This is by far the most ‘ba-noo’ episode of the Bumperpodcast, ever. There is a dock, a monster, a lottery, winners and losers and much more. There could potentially be a call to the Better Business Bureau, as well. Natty Bumpercar is off.
Have you ever gone ‘ba-noo’? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.
About This Episode
In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar recounts a disastrous vacation experience on a pier where he believes he's being stalked by a terrifying water monster. After waiting four years and winning a lottery for his coveted dock spot, Natty's peaceful meditation plans are derailed by what he's convinced is a crocodile or alligator swimming directly toward him. As his panic escalates and his heart races, he frantically questions why no other pier-goers are reacting to the imminent threat. The episode builds to a comedic reveal that puts Natty's overreaction into perspective.
Memorable Quotes
“Look at that dude, he's going banu, that means he's crazy, and that's you right now! Me, my friend, I'm keeping it real, I'm keeping it steady, I'm keeping it 100!”
— Natty Bumpercar
“I saved up for four years! To get this spot on this pier, I wanted some inner peace, some sanctity, I wanted to meditate, I wanted to be one with the nature, the universe.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“Yo, that's just a log?”
— Natty Bumpercar
Topics: #vacation #panic #overreacting #monsters #nature #meditation #comedy #misunderstanding
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar
Full Transcript
Natty Bumpercar: So there I was, so there I was, so there I was, so there I was, so there I was, just sitting there on the edge of the pier, when all of a sudden, what comes up, is it a boat? No, it's not a boat, it's some sort of crocodile, alligator, some sort of snakey, but whatever, a reptile, coming right down to water, right towards where I'm sitting, at the edge of the dock, and so I'm like, what am I supposed to do here? I paid good money to sit on this dock, I paid all the proper fees to rent my spot, and all of a sudden, you're telling me that this is the kind of place I should be? This is the kind of situation where you're gonna have monsters, basically? Monsters? Actual, live monsters, coming down the water, at me? I mean, who am I gonna talk to? Who's your supervisor? Who works here anyway? Where are you guys? And then I look around, I'm at the edge of a dock, there's nobody working down here, it's just a bunch of people sitting. Down, fishing, looking at the water, there's a dude over there, with binoculars, looking at the ocean, thinking he's gonna see some sort of a whale. Good job, beluga, good luck seeing your whale, hope that monster doesn't come and get you, because he's right there! Oh my god, this is like the worst vacation I ever took in my life! I saved up for four years! To get this spot on this pier, I wanted some inner peace, some sanctity, I wanted to meditate, I wanted to be one with the nature, the universe, and all of a sudden, what am I doing? My heart is beating out of my chest, I think I'm starting to hyperventilate a little bit. Oh what, you think I'm overreacting? You think I'm going a little bit crazy? You think that maybe, perhaps? Perhaps? That I'm going over the edge? Oh my friend, oh my friend, oh my friend, I'd say that you are the one who's going a bit bonkers, a bit nuts, a bit banu, that's what we say in my town! Look at that dude, he's going banu, that means he's crazy, and that's you right now! Me, my friend, I'm keeping it real, I'm keeping it steady, I'm keeping it 100! There is a monster! He's floating up at me, right next to the dock now, he's close, he's closer than he was when I started, that's for sure, I don't know if he's in the, uh, I don't know if the water's pushing him my way, I don't know if the tides are shifting maybe, but what I do know, what I do definitely know, is that probably in the next, oh I don't know, two seconds, one, two, boom, monster's gonna come and get me! Eat my foot! I don't know, it's hanging off the dock, he could certainly reach up and grab it if he wanted to, uh, cool, is he gonna pull me under, is he gonna do a crocodile roll, a death roll, I mean that's what they do, this is not a relaxing vacation! I mean, I want my money back, and then what am I gonna do, am I gonna go, if I leave this spot to go and talk to whoever owns this dock, am I gonna lose my spot, is somebody else gonna come and sit in my spot, which I paid for, and then I'm not gonna have my spot anymore? I do not know, but what I do know, is if I don't have a place to sit, after all this time of waiting on the waiting list, and putting my name in, and there was a lottery, and I had to win it, and I did, and I'm sitting here, and now you're gonna take it away from me? This is crazy, it's Banu, this whole thing is Banu, this whole situation, why is nobody else reacting to this thing? Do you guys not see it? Everybody else on the dock, do you not see this thing coming out my neck? Out of the boat? Do you see that thing right over there, it's right in the water, it's gonna come over here, it's looking at us, sniffing in the air, I see him sniffing in the air, trying to come over here, you, with that chum bucket, he's gonna be your chum in just a second, he's gonna come chum up with you real quick, he's gonna eat you, he's gonna eat your baby, he's gonna have babies sit next to you, he's gonna eat it, if that's what they do, what? What are you talking about? I'm looking at the monster right over there, alligator crocodile! He's gonna come over here and take it all down, probably gonna take the whole dock down if we don't watch out, what? You kidding me? Yo, that's just a log?
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Bumperpodcast #188: Vacation is hard
Natty Bumpercar talks about his vacation and the new friend that he met while on vacation.
Do you vacation? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.
About This Episode
In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar shares a hilarious tale from his recent family beach vacation. What should have been a relaxing getaway turns into comedy gold when a giant bat invades their tiny cabin in the middle of the night. Natty recounts the chaos of dealing with disrupted children's sleep schedules, missing toys, and pillows, only to have everything escalate when his mother-in-law discovers the unwelcome flying visitor. Listen as he describes the madcap attempts to remove the bat using beach towels, the creature's terrifying sonar-guided flights directly at people's heads, and the horrifying moment when the bat disappears into the walls. This energetic episode perfectly captures the exhausting reality of family vacations.
Memorable Quotes
“We need to invent some sort of bat muffler like a little jacket or a vest that bats can wear so they don't sound so disgustingly horribly grossy yuck when they're flying around.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“It was a giant giant bat like take your children away type of bat and when I opened the door he flew at the door because his little sonar was just like oh there's food over there.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“The bat is in the walls now people the bat is in the walls so everybody now baby wife me kid all in the same tiny room not enough room to move not enough room to breathe. Vacations are stressful.”
— Natty Bumpercar
Topics: #vacation #family #beach #bats #parenting #comedystorytelling #travelmishaps
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar
Full Transcript
Natty Bumpercar: well this is a hoot nanny is what this is hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and this is the bumper podcast oh i actually i recorded 27 seconds a few seconds minutes ago and i listened to it and i was so low energy and i was so depressed and like i was just like i can't even put this out on the internets i don't want these people to have to listen to this garbage garbage no what i want them to listen to is happy bumper car right yes of course my goodness bumper car you're running the bumper podcast the best ship in the seas of all podcasts you should be happy so let me do this i will tell you that last week i went on vacation with the family we went to the beach and um it was it was it was nice if you've ever vacationed with children you know how exhausting it is because everything is disrupted where am i sleeping what am i eating what am i doing why can't i watch my shows you know like what i don't know where my sis toy is well that toy is back at home i want to go back home why would you we're at the beach you should stay here at the beach and play it's much more fun i want my pillow do you have this pillow now for you know it's like it's fun and then so you add on to the uh madcap bedlam uh of the kitties and their broken sleep patterns and and whatnot and uh and we throw in there into the mix ladies and gentlemen the monkey wrench that was a bat a bat a bat in our cabin in our tiny teeny little cabin that had one two three four five six people in it uh it's eight square feet i don't really know how square feet work but i know it's tiny and um one night middle of the night uh there's uh someone's in my room and it was my mother-in-law and she said there's a bat there's a bat in here and i was like what where's her bat i don't see a bat she's like it's out there in the living room kitchen area oh and then you hear now i can hear him flying around flapping his wings and it was terrifying bat sounds terrible when they're flying like they're i they're we need to invent some sort of bat muffler like a uh maybe some felt or something like a little jacket or a little uh a vest that bats can wear so they don't sound so disgustingly horribly grossy yuck when they're flying around because when they're flying it's just like i don't want to hear that so i open the door to assess the situation you know it's just like in my head is this like a little bat or what no it was a giant giant bat like take your children away type of bat and he when i opened the door he flew at the door because i guess his little sonar was just like oh there's food over there i'm gonna go and eat i know so i slammed the door the bat went some other place so then i had to crawl to the window to all the doors and say don't leave your door there's a bat in there he's on you to go in there because there's a bat he's flying around you'll even be right and uh open the back door open the screen doors to the bat you know oh maybe he's gonna do what he did to me and just fly right out this door no he keeps flying father-in-law has a a towel a beach towel big beach towel that's just flopping in the air hits the bat bat falls on the ground does not fly he's flying around able to uh put the towel on top of the bat to get him out so the bat gets back up he's flying around some more circles right at your head like i was i was it was very comical it was very like i'm in a movie and this is what people look like in movies when they're trying to get away from a bat it was me uh trying not to yell out any horrible words uh because the bat and then the bat disappears into the wall there's a heating vent no one believes me that i see the bat going to the heating vent they're all like no he escaped you didn't see him i saw him we leave a towel on top of the heating vent a few days later wife screams in the middle of the night wife screams i run into the room scratch scratch scratch scratch the bat is in the walls now people the bat is in the walls so everybody now baby wife me kid all the same tiny room not enough room to move not enough room to breathe vacations are stressful
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