Bumperpodcast #305 – Jumbled-up!

Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast i just yawned so big i mean like right before i clicked the button it was the biggest longest it was like hey you're about to do something you're here's the yawn here's the biggest jawn you've ever yawned in your entire yawn um but that's not because i'm not excited it's not because i'm not thrilled because i am i'm wonderfully happy to be here i missed you i went on vacation i put out uh an episode while i was on vacation and then i came back to find out that the uh the software and the hardware the technology the things were broken things didn't work i don't know what happened okay i do know what happened i uh i got excited i got giddy and i upgraded my computer's uh os which means operating system to the newest uh uh beta it's called oh it's a beta it's gonna be released in like a few weeks and i was like oh that's safe that's fine even though the whole time there's all these warnings that are like don't don't do this don't do this on your main computer if this is your only computer we highly recommend against you doing this and i was like ah it's fine of course it's gonna be fine what could possibly that's what happened no recording i had interviews set up with people and uh that's how i actually discovered that it didn't work i was like oh i'm so sorry hold on one second uh no it's still not working uh could you please hold on one second i think i've got this uh just need to oh no it's still not hmm okay let me just i'm gonna call you back in a couple of minutes and uh no it never worked so it's fine we rescheduled some stuff actually reached out to the company and it's a specific part of the whole uh of the ordeal uh that records the interviews for pig and everyone seems to like these pig interviews and i certainly enjoy listening to them so um i was i was like well what do i do so i spent like the week trying to figure out everything see if there was new software different software anything that i needed to get or do and there was not company reached back out to me and they said oh looks like you've downloaded the beta and i was like ah you yeah i did how'd you know that so um you know they fixed they made a patch which is very nice of them a little patch uh to fix the beta and now and now it's back up and running so uh that's exciting but what that means now is it's been two uh two weeks since uh an interview uh since a podcast and so i was like i don't even i'm jumping on i gotta talk to my peeps i was on vacation they don't know nothing about nothing right i went to cape cod with the babies and the family and we had a lot of fun it was a lot more fun this year it was a lot of uh well here's a weird thing i'm gonna go first i swear to god the dog is walking around upstairs it sounds like he's uh a gang of people destroying my house there's only a dog here but the amount of noise that i'm hearing above me makes me think i should probably call the police but i'm not because i'm recording and i don't want to miss out on another week so if you're upstairs stealing my stuff keep it down because i'm recording a podcast unless you want to be interviewed i'm not going to be interviewing you interviewed because i can't enter i couldn't interview that'd be great so you break into houses how tell me how you got into that oh really uh-huh and when you when you saw my house what made you think there would be anything of value here oh you're looking at my computer i see interesting should i should mention to you before you're trying to take it i see but i should mention it's on the beta so maybe you don't want to take it that's right i know i don't know why i downloaded it's my only computer ah thanks good interview um so we went to cape cod and the way it works is my my wife's aunts and uncle aunt and uncle have been going there for no joke like 45 years or something amazing like that and then they have their kids and uh so how does it work there's there's there's ocean and there's a hill and there's one cabin two cabin three cabin and then they are number four and they have a nice deck and they can see everything and they have this nice cabin within cabin five six seven are their kids who bring their significant others and their kids we're talking about a lot of people here is what i'm saying and then for the last seven years this was our eighth year for the last seven years we were cabin number six boom boom right there right right at the top of the hill you can go out on there's a little deck in front so you can sit and you can watch the kids playing and we were very excited this year because it was gonna be the first year where we knew that we could just hang out and we could we could see everything that was going on and our kids wouldn't really need us to uh keep them alive as much but some double booking going on i'm assuming the soft wear for the booking engine was in beta i'm just gonna keep saying beta because it makes me happy uh and and uh our cabin got booked our cabin got booked we've been there the last seven years there was a contract but anyway we got moved to cabin number seven which i know you're thinking that's not such a big deal but it's it it was because uh you're that we're cut off by about you know whatever it is 30 yards or whatever no not 30 yards 30 yards 30 yards 30 yards 30 yards that's 90 feet i don't know we'll say 50 say 50 50 60 feet from the other cabins which means you can't get to the kids when they fall off their scooters or when they ram their scooters into other children or when they pick their scooters up and use them as weapons what i'm saying is scooters are really the issue here scooters are the problem and uh to get to them we actually the steps to get off of our little uh cabin you had to go back to the cabin and we had to go back to the cabin and we had to go back to the cabin backwards to get to the steps to then come back the other way which added another 30 or 40 feet which meant it took you a solid if you were hustling it took you about 45 seconds to get down to the kids screaming the whole way what are you doing why would you do that you stop that leave your him alone leave her alone get away from each other i don't know but so the new cabin was weird it was also carpeted which ladies and gentlemen if you have a beach cabin don't carpet it it's creepy all right just letting you know i'm just right up front letting you know i don't know what kind of people listen to this show but if you have a cabin just make it hardwood all right make it tile don't make it tile let's not make it tile tiles cold let's make it wood all right make it nice old wood let's seal it and let's just keep it real i don't want your tile your cold cold tile when i'm walking on tile with my bare feet it feels like it's sucking the soul out of my body it feels like the tile is is a vacuum and every step i take it's just sucking it's just taking the life out of me it's like a crypt i don't want to walk on tile just stop it with a tile and even if there's tile in your bathroom i'm gonna need you to put a little rug in there a little throw rug whatever it's called one of those really furry little rugs all right because i want as little time stepping on tile as i can possibly get anyway it was a great vacation it was nice it was one of those vacations where you're there for a long time and i mean we're there for a week i guess but it feel it felt like longer like some of the times we've been there it's been like you blink your eye and you're like that was so fast that vacation is already over but this one it actually it felt like an extended play it was a remix it was great um and we go i'll one day i'll get the kids in here and they can tell you all about it but if i ask the kids about it because it was already two weeks ago they'll be like what's going on and i'll be like oh my god i'm what'd you do on vacation they'll be like i didn't go on vacation you're like yeah you did you went to cape cod and be like i don't know what did you do i don't know we watched it was one day it was a little bit uh gonna be a little bit rainy so there's a movie theater and they show kids movies and at i think it was like something insane like 8 30 in the morning it might have been 9 30 i don't know it was early we were at a movie theater and we watched sean the sheep oh and i cried it's a movie makes me cry it's sean the sheep it's sean the sheep you should watch that movie it's a great movie oh now i'm crying again it's like because you're sitting next to your kids and there's a song about summer and it's summer and oh man what are you doing oh we also found crabs giant crabs just hanging out on the beach we saved a crab from some seagulls put it in a bucket put it when there's some sand and some water and some seaweed and stuff and we named them crabby or mr crabs i don't know it switched and then we took them to a different place we took them to a place called red river we set them free in the in the beach grass and he walked away and then two days later we were back at red river and there was a giant crab almost twice the size of crabby and i was like look crabby grew my kids were like he must have eaten a good meal and i was like what you guys are so smart and now we're back in school there's been a lot going on is what i'm saying next week i'm excited though because we're gonna be back with the regular bumper podcast with the interviews i'm just trying to catch you up i did a roast battle i was at a comedy show and i did a roast battle i'm gonna talk about more of that and that more uh next week i'm building a bathroom in my house you should i want to tell you about that because why because the contractors all fell through how many three well two fell through and then the last guy his estimate was no joke three times more than the than the other guy and i'm gonna be back with the regular bumper podcast with the interviews guys and i was just like no what are you what are you building what are you what are you building this out of gold i'm i don't need a gold wall that would be pretty nice if i had a gold wall though i'm not gonna lie um but lots going on lots to talk about lots of interviews coming up lots of good stuff coming up let's go bumper podcast

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