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[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-kw54nusa’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-kw54nt8g’ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:03 There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. Rufus T. Rufus 0:25 Oh, no, excuse me, that is just a new song you’re singing? Are there actually people in the domicile that we are not familiar with that we are not have not been properly identified and, you know, checked out and whatnot. And there Natty Bumpercar 0:40 there are people in my house. And I don’t know who they are. Producer 0:45 Okay, hold on one second here, because I’m trying to look over the schedule here to see how you’re supposed to be in the house and the don’t know, there’s no one listed in SA what I’m going to say also don’t mean, I’m not trying to be facetious is that I think that there are some people in the house and maybe we don’t know who they are. Exactly. All Unknown Speaker 1:05 right. Well, now as as a lawyer, I am the closest to a law enforcement officer here. And so I think that means courses that I’m gonna have to go inside and now they they launch people there and I shouldn’t be intimidated. I’m a little bit nervous if I’m to be on. Natty Bumpercar 1:24 There are people in the house and I don’t I don’t know who they are. All right. People in the house. And I don’t know who they are. Producer 1:33 Yes, sir. I’m hearing from you. Nadine, you’re doing a very good job of I think trying to illustrate the situation and to really let us know what’s going on. He said there are so people who are inside of the house right now. And you don’t exactly Rufus T. Rufus 1:50 I’m catching the same drift over here, producer. anybody’s seen piggy Lu ello issues. Maybe he has some insight into the situation. There’s some people in my house and I don’t know who they are. Natty Bumpercar 2:05 There’s people in my house and I don’t know who they are. Producer 2:27 So I’m looking at this is it? I mean, it does look like a parrot. I mean, hmm. This is more of a sketch. I think it’s a doodle. You don’t he didn’t really mean you captured some things on it. But I can’t really tell from your drawing who it is. People might be many information you got maybe names, anything. Doodle Poodle 2:49 I don’t usually draw names. I just kinda like to draw pictures. So no. Rufus T. Rufus 3:03 Yeah, well, yeah, I’m so glad that your name isn’t God dog. Boom, I guess I wouldn’t work as well God because you’re not very good guard dog is what I’m saying. You’re really instincts do not lean towards protecting the house. The moves, look at these drawings. So is everybody here? Alright, it looks like we got two or three. Okay. And it looks like where you have drawn them. This seems to be in the near the foyer. Doodle Poodle 3:37 Say for you Rufus T. Rufus 3:40 know, it’s just you know, as learning different language, different accents, or whatever I say for you. Well, yeah, I understand. You Producer 3:48 know, when I was growing up, we used to say the five years well, he sounded more fancy. He’s like we say, are you going to go through the fire? Yay. You’re going to see the surfer. Read the chaise lounge. You’re going to go past that. Some people say Oh, I go into the Foreo and I got to pass the couch is like come on, man. This is nicer stuff. This is just lounge and this for a year. So Natty Bumpercar 4:16 there’s people in the house right and and and and and and I don’t know who they are. Okay, there’s people Ah, yeah. Inside the house. And and I don’t know I don’t know where they are. No, no. Rufus T. Rufus 4:32 I hesitate to ask this of course. But it’s a sensitive situation but now you’re going a little bit looky loo right now. It does seem and feel a little bit like a little a little loop de loop. People Producer 4:51 they are dry. You know, we all kind of live here in all of our house that kind of nervous about the people you In the currently done, you don’t really even know Rufus T. Rufus 5:04 taking control of the situation the next person or dog or frog anyone who says that phrase is going to be out on the sidewalk taking a break because we understand the whole thing we understand the situation that we’re in. We don’t need to keep repetitively repeating it and one up and repeating the one up and too often, because that’s just too much All right, everybody calm down. We’re gonna figure this situation out. Hey, everybody, it’s me. Aloysius jpg coming in. And why is everybody so freaked out about I can see it on your faces. Holy cow. What did I just walk into? Well, Natty Bumpercar 5:43 so there’s some people who are inside of the house. Right? Who we and we don’t know who they are. Yeah, Rufus T. Rufus 5:50 I’m gonna let that one slide because he elevations did just as exactly what you saw. I understand what just happened there. Oh, yeah. Like, seriously, you guys are freaked out about you don’t know what that is. This is hilarious. I didn’t even realize we were doing a podcast. Like I thought we were done doing it. I mean, I looked at the schedule and it was just like a Halloween we did a show and it’s been like a long time and so I thought that we maybe you guys had just moved on to something else. Like maybe you’re just making NF TS or whatever. I don’t know the bump of pod can NF T’s i don’t i don’t know maybe crypto coins? I don’t know whatever you kids do these days. No but so we’re recording an episode right now Producer 6:31 if you’ve recovered the light over there says on the air that we need to be recording we’re not actually on the air as we’re doing a bad case so we’re on the computer but they didn’t have a light that said on computer you understand I also I thought it’d be very confusing if we did you said on computer because he realized what are we doing on the computer I don’t understand your your recording you’re gone gone computer and it is still a red light or is it just for on air? And so you just really a lot of variables and things to look into for me you know, I’m very busy too. Yeah, so Rufus T. Rufus 7:06 so it has been a long time we’ve been very busy and it’s been chilly. In fact, we’ve been chilly out here in the old bumper barn and we’re still working on getting it insulated and people are not responding to calls and you know hopefully we’ll be able to get in here soon and record or we’re gonna have to move all the equipment back over the into the house with the people on we don’t know Aloysius J. Pig 7:30 ah okay, I guess that makes sense. So anyway the people who already own the house or who you guys don’t know but I think you actually don’t own them. They were just dropping somebody off Doodle Poodle 7:43 three people said I’m curious cuz I made a drawing. And who are they dropping? Rufus T. Rufus 7:49 Let me see that. Drew No no, you missed it totally if you didn’t look down the person they were dropping off I mean I really a person it’s a one he only ladies in case char Natty Bumpercar 7:59 gay Wait a minute, so there were some people inside my house and I didn’t know who they are and the whole time they were just dropping you off Turkey I haven’t seen you in a year this isn’t Sam so happy to see you. Rufus T. Rufus 8:20 Good. So now evidently he can see other things perfect and now this episode can take off for only eight and a half minutes in so now I guess we can just pretend like nothing happened Aloysius J. Pig 8:37 yeah, exactly. It’s a beautiful song that you just saying. It’s a turkey is here of course it’s his yearly tradition to come into our house be on the podcast to well, you know to hide from all the people because it is Thanksgiving and we give him safe refuge. And it’s good good thing we toe every year right and every year you come back you spread the turkey word you let people know about Turkey issues Turkey dealings Turkey whatnot etc Producer 9:15 Oh yeah, yeah, no, he’s not kidding around. I know I’ve read the articles as well if you’ve been really prolific in the last year with your writing and everything it’s it’s it’s almost like poetry you’re not you’re the way you write about these issues is it’s gripping in it really yeah did did pulls on my heartstrings. Yeah, we Natty Bumpercar 9:33 actually we subscribed to all the magazines and everything Turkey because we wanted them and we put up an alert a turkey alert so that we could make sure that anytime you published anything that we could read it because it’s it’s you’re great and we love having you around. I’m so sorry. This episode got off to a strange start and it’s not just because we haven’t been recording a lot lady. It’s just it’s just it’s been a lot Rufus T. Rufus 9:53 not to freak anyone out but I just looked through the window and I saw some people walking around the house and I’m just I’m blown nervous because I don’t know who they are. Oh wait what Natty Bumpercar 10:04 is people asked me know who they are Outro 10:20 the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs in hearts See you soon. NonPro 11:39 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]Tag: turkey
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Bumperpodcast #406 – Season 2 – People in the house
Something odd is happening at Headquarters. There are people that no one knows — IN THE HOUSE. The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode! -
Bumperpodcast #364 – Left out
Oh no. Natty left someone out, again. Who is it – and what will the fallout be? Listen to find out!
The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!
About This Episode
In this Thanksgiving-themed episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar faces the wrath of Turkey, who's upset about being excluded from his traditional holiday interview. The situation escalates when it's revealed Natty came down with a mysterious case of "the loop de loo" that caused him to forget everything. Meanwhile, Producer the Frog reveals he's been sleeping in the backyard because no one invited him inside, leading to an emotional workplace revelation. Aloysious J. Pig threatens legal action while everyone learns an important grammar lesson about possessive apostrophes. The chaos concludes with Natty promising a holiday party to make amends with everyone.
Memorable Quotes
“Have you looked around this place? It's a virtual pigsty. That's why I like to come in here as much as I do.”
— Aloysious J. Pig“I was never invited to stay in here and so everybody else seems to go sleep whatever they want and I have to go sleep in the backyard. It's very cold out there in the snow.”
— Producer“It's not turkey soup, it's turkey's soup. The Z is very important because that lets us know it's his soup not soup of him.”
— Natty BumpercarTopics: #thanksgiving #workplacedynamics #friendship #apologies #holidays #miscommunication #inclusion
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, Producer, Turkey
Full Transcript
Natty Bumpercar: well well well good morning afternoon evening midday brunch lunch dinner night time midnight to you bumper podcast listeners it's me natty bumper car and i
Aloysious J. Pig: hey natty hey pig what's going on you forgot somebody who ah turkey come here
Natty Bumpercar: oh no oh no i'm hi turkey how are you
Doodle Poodle: wow wow he's really heated yeah he's really angry why wow i've never seen such a mad bird i haven't either i want what's the matter turkey why are you so mad i've never seen you get angry before okay oh yeah but but no i'm sorry okay
Natty Bumpercar: that makes sense okay so everybody if you don't speak turkey geese then you don't know what he's saying but turkeys very upset because every single year that we've been doing the bumper podcast around thanksgiving we have him on and we have big interviews we have a big show and evidently this year he got his whole turkey family together all ready for his big bumper podcast interview and then the call never came yes hi natty it's i betty sir and i'm
Producer: very sorry but we have put together a schedule and we are determined that we weren't going to be having the turkey on the show this year i have uh some emails from you which say exactly to the point i don't want that bird in my studio he makes everything very feathery
Aloysious J. Pig: turkey um listen i gotta i might have to take this bird out of studio because you he's getting really angry and i don't blame him did you really say that natty did you really get upset at the turkey because of the feathers in your studio have you looked around this place no it's a virtual pigsty that's why i like to come in here as much as i do okay um it's funny
Natty Bumpercar: um wow uh yee um so turkey i'm really sorry we went through a weird thing this year where i came down with a bad case of some weird thing i don't even remember what it was called was it like banu was that banu no bro
Aloysious J. Pig: you're always totes banu we all know that you equal totes banu however yes i believe if i'm
Producer: looking back through my notes that you buy you came down with a case of the loop de loo and you said the loop de loo and you forgot everything and who you were and everything and whatnot so without being sir
Turkey: yeah i did really
Natty Bumpercar: oh thank you so much turkey it was it was loop de loo and guys turkey has offered to bring me he says it's a magic cure for the loop de loo
Aloysious J. Pig: some of his turkey soup whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa wait a minute you ain't gonna eat no turkey soup turkey's my friend you ain't allowed to eat my friend's bumper car uh now excuse me point of representation point of fact point of uh uh attention uh uh rufus t rufus have heard the term loop de loo uh dis distributed and disinfactuated here in the studio today and i was wondering who exactly was making that referential preferential
Turkey: yeah hey so thank you uh so thank you for clearing that up
Natty Bumpercar: uh turkey so rufus for you uh we were talking about a long time ago with the loop de loo so you don't have to be here you don't have to jump in everything is fine uh pig it's not turkey it's not soup made of turkey which no because he's sitting here and ew right no uh it is soup that turkey has made it's like a special family recipe uh that i will try to be having and i will try to to be enjoying as soon as he brings it and i'm sure it will be delicious and delectable there's no soup like turkeys soup see the z is very important there because that lets us know that it's his soup not soup of him it's not turkey soup it's turkeys soup turkeys right yeah turkeys
Aloysious J. Pig: so if i say uh on the end of something then that means it's mine so let's see here i'm gonna look around the room ah hey if i gotta go to the store i'm gonna take the keys to your cars does that was that work does that make is that what we're doing now i don't understand hey who's chocolaties uh bars uh is this like that i don't know i this is very confusing to me i don't do a lot of gram not a grandma pig if you understand no i i i myself did go to many schools and many times and many variations that's how you achieve the level of latitude that i have now uh let's see here i believe what you're on the path of correctness and the path of righteousness aloysius so without being said t rufus will like the uh the to take all the monies uh out of the the bankers and put it into my wallet like is that what i think is as proper as well i will be taking the dee desires to this houses like that i don't think that's how it works
Turkey: oh
Natty Bumpercar: so awesome i'm glad you guys are all having fun and this is all wonderful
Producer: i am not i don't usually get to participate in these types of things but i feel like it's fun and hard to get involved as well i'm usually just in my producer booth so i'm going to try one for me i would like you to sleep inside the house tonight like that oh ease yeah like that i would like to have to eat take a shower easy and not sleep in the backyard is uh please uh if it pleases you it's very cold out there in the snow it's not again i don't know even know if you knew this snarving everywhere okay i'm a frog but i'd like to sleep inside okay they wanted
Natty Bumpercar: to get that out there so they're all clearing things off of our chests did you said producer this is i'm glad we're bringing this up because i had no idea you were why do you sleep outside we
Producer: have so many rooms here well i was never invited to stay in here and so everybody else seems to go sleep whatever they want and eat whatever they want to do in an hour or more i have to go have myilsty okay but I want, and that's just not who I am, okay?
Aloysious J. Pig: Nanny, it's just not who he is, okay? You ain't gotta frog-secute the guy just because he's got a good spirit and a good heart, okay? Okay.
Natty Bumpercar: Okay, uh, Pig, thank you. You got very emotional for that. That was very sweet of you. Uh, but Frog… My name is Producer. I'm Producer. Yes, Producer. I'm sorry. Thank you. I… Every night when you leave, when you like, wrap up and you're heading home, or what I thought was, like, you say goodbye, and you're like, alright, see everybody later, and you get your stuff and you go out the front door. And so we all thought that you had a house, or maybe you even had a family. We don't know anything about you, so…
Aloysious J. Pig: No, this, no, it seems like it is moving into my purview. Uh, Mr. Producer, would you say that, uh, the Nanny Bumpercon is a affiliate affiliates have, uh, been disregarding you in any way? Because ipso facto, if they have, then that becomes a legal issue that I believe I could represent you properly for. And you know what? At some point, this house is uh, might become your house is uh, my friend, is uh,
Natty Bumpercar: Thank you, Turkey. Yes. So, exactly. So what Turkey just said is the truth and the, and, yes. We just thought that Producer was going somewhere else. Should we have known? Maybe, but he was going out the front door. We never, why would we think he was going to the backyard? That doesn't make any sense. And, you know, I don't know a lot about him, and I feel bad about that, but that's just, uh, you know, we just haven't had, like, personal conversations. He's very professional. He goes into his booth, he does his job, and he's wonderful at it, for the most part, and he, he, that's, that's it, you know? I think we should make time, we're in the holiday season, so maybe we should get together with everyone and have a nice holiday party, and, and we can all get to know each other a little bit better. Wouldn't that be nice? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, of course you're going to be invited, Turkey. I think after this whole debacle that we've, yes, don't worry about it. You're going to be here. What I got to say, Turkey, you're kind of feathering up the joint a little bit. There's a lot of feathers everywhere, okay? So just, if you're going to molt, don't molt here, okay? Uh, I will be awaiting my invitation for this soiree, and, uh, please do run it by my calendar. To make sure I am
Producer: available. I would like to be there, too, if you could please. I would really appreciate just being included, you know, this one time.
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, okay, everyone's going to be included, and I'm sorry if anyone felt like they were left out, and you're all awesome. All of you.
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Bumperpodcast #310 – Turkey is back
Turkey is back – and he is bananas.
Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
Send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.
Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.
Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!
About This Episode
In episode 310 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar faces a Thanksgiving crisis when Turkey shows up at headquarters in a state of panic. Joined by Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, Rufus T. Rufus (acting as Turkey's lawyer), and Robot with his universal Turkey decoder, the gang attempts to calm the anxious bird who fears he'll end up as dinner. Through a chaotic series of misunderstandings and Turkey's rapid-fire gobbling, the team works to communicate and reassure their feathered friend. The episode wraps with a heartfelt message from Natty about gratitude and making it through tough times, while Turkey finally settles down for a nap.
Memorable Quotes
“Rufus, Turkey lawyer Rufus, that's my name. And I will be legally representing this Turkey here in the court of law to call a justice the court of the public opinion.”
— Rufus T. Rufus
“He thinks the robot looks like an oven, and he thinks that this is all a big setup to get the Turkey back in.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“You should wake up every day and look yourself in the mirror in the eyes. And you should thank yourself for doing whatever you do, for trying hard, for making it through the day.”
— Natty Bumpercar
Topics: #thanksgiving #turkey #anxiety #friendship #gratitude #communication #holidaystress #kindness
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, Rufus T. Rufus, Robot
Full Transcript
Natty Bumpercar: well well well if it isn't the bumper podcast and it's me it's natty bumper car and it's that time of year it's that time of year where it's almost thanksgiving and i oh no look who it is
Producer: hey buddy how are you you're freaking out you're freaking me out there's a lot of freaking out
Natty Bumpercar: okay you talk
Aloysious J. Pig: i don't i don't i don't know what i don't know what you're seeing i'm very sorry i'm very i'm
Natty Bumpercar: very sorry hey hey that's me uh allosius jay pig so anyway so i think what the tardy doodle is trying to say is that he's nervous because you're talking about Thanksgiving. Yeah. And always around this time of year, you know, the turkey comes in, and you're like, gobble, gobble, and you're like, who's this? And turkey, turkey, and blah, blah, blah. I think he just wants to make sure that everything is on the up and up. Oh. That everything is copacetic. Of course. You know what I'm talking about. Okay. That makes sense. Okay. Exactly. Turkey, calm it down. He's freaking out. Take it down two notches. He's freaking out. Turkey, turkey, turkey. You need to settle. Settle. Settle. Turkey. Settle. Somebody got to settle the turkey, I guess. Do we have any turkey whispers in the house? No, there's no turkey whispers in the house.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay, just kidding. Oh. Uh-huh.
Natty Bumpercar: Oh, you seem so sad, turkey. Listen, it's going to be fine. Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise. We're just going to hang out. We're here at headquarters. It's me, you, and Pig, and we, I, he does, I guess, he kind of, Pig, do you speak turkey? It seems like a little bit. I mean, I, I do dabble a bit. Okay, but not really. No, no, no. Okay, so we, I think that we maybe just need to find somebody who does speak a good turkey, and then we can kind of, kind of go from there. Maybe, does that make sense? I don't know what to do. You still freak it out. Okay, okay, okay. Settle down, turkey. Settle down. Stop it. You're on a, you're on a hot microphone, turkey. Don't say anything you'll regret in the future. Okay, well, calm down. I, uh,
Aloysious J. Pig: oh. I see. I understand exactly. That's exactly what the turkey is trying to
Natty Bumpercar: say to everybody.
Doodle Poodle: Hi, everybody. It's me. It's
Aloysious J. Pig: a little poodle.
Doodle Poodle: And I think that I can solve this case. Okay, it's not a case. Perhaps, perchance, probably.
Natty Bumpercar: He's trying to figure out what he's saying.
Doodle Poodle: Um, what I'm gonna do is get out some paper. Okay. And make some doodles of what the turkey who is trying to say so that you guys can get a visual representation of exactly what the turkey is trying to tell us. Is that the best idea ever?
Natty Bumpercar: I'm gonna weigh in on this and say that no, it's actually not the best idea ever. It's not, it's not the worst idea ever. Uh, but, I mean, I guess maybe we could give it a shot. But the thing is, this turkey talks very quickly. And, um, I don't know that you're gonna be able to draw what he's saying fast enough that we'll be able to convey exactly what he's trying to say.
Doodle Poodle: Oh, look, I drew this unicorn right here. That fast unicorn.
Natty Bumpercar: Okay. I stand corrected. We are gonna give it a shot. We're gonna give it a shot. Okay. That's kind of amazing that you drew that that fast. Okay. I'm very fast
Doodle Poodle: doodler. I can draw very quickly if I want to. Sometimes I draw slow. But sometimes I draw really fast, too. This is just how it depends. Oh, what the, you know, this is tough. Oh, he's saddled.
Aloysious J. Pig: Saddled. Saddled. Saddled. Saddled. Saddled. Saddled. Saddled.
Rufus T. Rufus: Turkey lawyer T. Rufus. Wait a minute, I did that wrong. Rufus, Turkey lawyer Rufus, that's my name. And I will be legally representing this Turkey here in the court of law to call a justice the court of the public opinion on exactly what he wants to do and what he deserves to do and the life that all Turkies in this great country, in this great world, are allowed to pursue and enjoy. If you do get my drift, and I believe you do by the look on your eye, on your face, above your nose, you see what I'm saying? Rufus, Turkey lawyer Rufus, coming in, swooping in, just like I do, to protect you. To protect you, okay? Okay. Call me up. We're going to settle this out of court, lawyer style.
Natty Bumpercar: All right. All right. Are you being paid by the minute? Because that was quite the soliloquy, I think that was, the monologue. That was a monologue. That was definitely a more monologue than we needed to have at this moment.
Rufus T. Rufus: It was more of a soliloquy, I believe. It was more of a, you know. Okay.
Natty Bumpercar: But we're just trying to figure out what the Turkey is doing. What the Turkey wants, and what the Turkey needs, and what will make the Turkey happy. So, I appreciate everyone being here, but I don't appreciate you.
Robot: Hey, but I think you should appreciate me, because I think that I have a solution. I have a universal Turkey decoder inside of my programming.
Producer: Wait, do you really? That might help. Yeah. Yeah. See? Okay.
Robot: I am good for something, and so, if the Turkey would just come here and wait, where's the Turkey going? I don't understand.
Natty Bumpercar: All right. So, what do we… Bro, the robot's completely freaking the Turkey out. Okay. He's afraid of the robot. He thinks the robot looks like an oven, and he thinks that this is all a big setup to get the Turkey back in. Yeah. So, we're going to get the Turkey out of the robot's oven, and then we're going to get the Turkey back in. And, of course, we're going to get the Turkey in the robot oven, and then Turkey dinner, which I have told him is not true. We're not doing that. No. He's a rusty bucket of bolts. He's not a cooking utensil item. So, just go on down. All right. Talk to the, you know, the bones. The robot. No, the bones. The bolts over there. Yeah. And, we can get to the bottom. We can settle. Turkey, settle down. Settle down. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey bro. Seriously. Why is he freaking… I can't even imagine the Turkey. He's still freaking out. I was having a nice relaxing day. You're ruining my day. I don't want to say he's ruining it. Hey, turkey. There he goes. He finally went to sleep, everybody. I think all the activity might have worked him up and got him super anxious. Oh, he's so sleepy. I've never seen a sleeping turkey before.
Producer: He's so cute when he sleeps.
Natty Bumpercar: Is he purring? I didn't know turkeys purred. This is very strange. Wow, all right. Well, now that the crisis is averted with turkey, I wanted to say thank you so much to everybody for listening to the Bumper Podcast and for being so awesome. And sometimes the world is a big, mean, scary place, but hopefully you listen here and you feel a little bit better. Or you see how crazy my world is and it makes you feel like your world isn't, you know, all that crazy. You're pretty cool. You're pretty nice. You're pretty fun. Definitely pretty funny. And thank you. And thank you and thank you and thank you. And you should wake up every day and you should look in the mirror and you should brush your teeth and then you should wash your face and then you should look yourself in the mirror in the eyes. And you should thank yourself for doing whatever you do, for trying hard, for, you know, making it through the day, making it through the night, because it's not always that easy. And the world's a big, scary place and there's a lot of big, scary things happening. I mean, as turkey evidences. So, hooray for you. Hooray for me. Hooray for every single body. Right? Right. Anybody else want to say anything? Anybody else on the podcast want to say thank you for anything? Or…
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Bumperpodcast #293 – Turkeys and Rabbits
We talk about rabbits, and other things that come into your house and leave things. We also meet Rolly T. Rufus – Rufus’ brother!
Have you ever met a rabbit? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.
The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
About This Episode
In this chaotic spring episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig brings Turkey into the studio to deliver an urgent warning about an impending bunny situation. Host Natty Bumpercar struggles to understand what's happening as Rufus T. Rufus arrives with his older brother Raleigh T. Rufus, creating unexpected family drama. The conversation veers wildly from Easter bunny warnings to sibling rivalry, with Pig attempting to keep everyone focused on the mysterious rabbit threat. Natty reflects on the strange tradition of mythical creatures breaking into homes during holidays, from Santa to the Easter Bunny to leprechauns. The episode showcases the show's signature improvisational chaos as multiple characters talk over each other and the narrative spirals delightfully out of control.
Memorable Quotes
“It's this weird infatuation when you have kids at holidays of these creatures these magical mythical creatures that break into your house and do stuff.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“Sign on the dotted line and then I'll be a really rich swine. That's my new song.”
— Aloysious J. Pig
“I'm Rufus T. Rufus I don't listen to nobody never not once.”
— Rufus T. Rufus
Topics: #easter #family #holidays #chaos #siblingrivalry #mythicalcreatures #turkey #bunnies
Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Turkey, Rufus T. Rufus, Raleigh T. Rufus
Full Transcript
Aloysious J. Pig: oh hey turkey turkey turkey turkey okay uh okay so here's the thing hey turkey hey all right everybody that's me aloesha's jay pig and i got turkeys in here too which is weird because it ain't really your holiday season you know proud and you just cock a little dough you're a turkey first off it's spring second off
Natty Bumpercar: turkeys don't cock a total dough what are we doing hey guys it's me uh natty bumper guard what's up son you're the bumper podcast what's turkey doing here yeah you
Aloysious J. Pig: yeah so i don't know is the answer i don't speak turkey so well but from my understanding he's upset about something so i decided to come in ruffle his feathers a little bit use the airwaves a little bit on the schedule you know embrace the platform that is the bumper podcast and get his word out on the streets on the main streets of turkey town well that's fine it's fine but normally
Natty Bumpercar: you know uh i don't mind dropping a little bit of air on the streets of turkey town i've been guests from time to time but uh it's usually a reason that people are stopping by and uh turkey can you i don't speak turkey very well either i apologize but can you maybe just let us
Aloysious J. Pig: know why you're here i guess okay i see what he is okay okay okay okay i'm getting it i'm not seeing anything what are you doing
Natty Bumpercar: oh okay so you're here because in theory later this week at some point a bunny rabbit is going to come to my house with a basket of goodies for the children and so you're warning me that to keep an eye out for this bunny is is that was i i think that's what i got from what you were just saying is that right okay all right
Aloysious J. Pig: on its way i think what turkey has brought to the table right now is i think we got ourselves a bunny situation a bit of a bunny situation a bit of a rabbit bunny situation situation so yeah betting down the hatches people what are you talking about
Natty Bumpercar: what is about to happen what i don't understand what do you mean what is about to happen is something bad about to happen oh okay bye turkey thanks for the warning
Turkey: hey who are you did y'all see that turkey just walking in the room that was just here
Natty Bumpercar: yeah i did he's the biggest turkey out ever turkey but who are you huh who are you me yes
Aloysious J. Pig: you my name is is Raleigh T. Rufus Raleigh T. Rufus and I you might make my acquaintance with my friend
Rufus T. Rufus: well well well there he is there he is this is a time when family gets together bumper cars you met the acquaintance of my brother there he is he's a little bit littler but he's a lot bit older Mr. Raleigh T. Rufus there he is I'll buy that right now give it to him one time Raleigh
Raleigh T. Rufus: this is gonna talk to y'all and then I saw that turkey and I was saying to myself what's a turkey like that turkey doing over here is this turkey town
Natty Bumpercar: I don't know what's happening Rufus hi I haven't seen you in a while Raleigh you're really great I think you need to get closer to the microphone if you're gonna be on the podcast though cause you this is a recording booth and we're actually recording a podcast right now you know you wouldn't believe it I barely believe it based on what's happening hey Bumps
Aloysious J. Pig: uh who is this dude what's up Ruf I got some paperwork I need you to fill out and sign and everything okay sign on the dotted line and then I'll be a really rich swine that's my new song I'm really rich but I said witch sign on the dotted line and then I'll be a really rich swine it's harder to do I think I'm just gonna stick with witch that's fine right
Raleigh T. Rufus: what else do I say in here
Natty Bumpercar: oh gosh
Raleigh T. Rufus: Rufus is that a talking pig
Aloysious J. Pig: that I'm looking at over there
Natty Bumpercar: yeah it's a talking pig
Aloysious J. Pig: what is this planet that you have broughted me to what is this I don't even understand this is what mama said she didn't want you to hang out with wait really you should go back home I ain't going back home you should go back home Rufus don't you Rufus don't you Rufus you need to come along with me right now
Rufus T. Rufus: these are my business associates and they come we record I manage I am their manager I am their lawyer emeritus I do all of their paperwork I take care of everything I am the magician behind the scenes really that's what you're calling yourself I will be staying here and you go home and you can tell mom that's what the deal is I'm Rufus T. Rufus I don't listen to nobody never not once
Natty Bumpercar: you know what my new wow I guess we're stuck in weird family drama now between Rufus and me and Raleigh my new favorite thing in the bumper podcast that I'm just now noticing is how every time somebody talks into the mic they say who they are because that's I feel like a really good sign of character development is when people have to be like hi my name is Natty Bumpercar I'm saying these words now oh and I am Pig I'm going to say these words my name is whatever Raleigh I mean there's a lot of names I guess that makes sense nobody
Aloysious J. Pig: they can't see his brow so that makes sense
Natty Bumpercar: so it makes sense that we're saying names yeah totally okay you know what carry on as you were you guys are doing a great job
Aloysious J. Pig: so anyway I'm Aloysius J. Pig I'm just messing with you guys everybody knows who I am who I am I'm stuck down here with all these these these these backwards dudes it's just weird for me because where I come from is the big city the big mean dirty streets not a turkey town no no I come from the big mean streets of you know like over by Brooklyn Coffee Can Alley or Brown you know wherever I live I don't know where I live I live where I stay people come up to me all the time and they say hey Pig where do you stay and I say where do I stay and they said nice one where do you stay and they say I stay down here up the hill you know you know what I'm talking about
Natty Bumpercar: no I don't think anybody knows what you're talking about yeah it was a lot of it made more sense when Turkey was here this is kind of definitely off the rails when Turkey was here at least we had it felt like we had a name narrative a through line narrative for the episode but then to be honest and I feel bad I'm not going to point any fingers but when Raleigh showed up excuse me I don't know what happened don't they stop making sense
Aloysious J. Pig: a little bit you stop making you can't handle the truth you know what Rufus we need to go find us that turkey we need to go have ourselves a bit of a conversation with him about a few things for instance what kind of stuffing is better you know
Rufus T. Rufus: oh now there he goes he's falling asleep falling asleep at the wheel as he does that's why he can't drive at night anymore you know what bumper car I had something I wanted to talk to you about but I'm not going to but I agree this whole ship has gone off of the rails that's fine I mixed my analogies up but y'all all have fun with your bunny talk or whatever you was going to talk about and I'm going to take my brother Raleigh T. Rufus on home tomorrow and we're going to have ourselves a final time going to go talk to that turkey that was inappropriate when he was going to have us a turkey but I think it's going to be just fine just fine pig you all go ahead and mail me your paperwork make sure to get it annotated notated and Rufus-tated Rufus-tated if you know what I'm saying and we will return
Natty Bumpercar: okay wow well thanks for stopping by Rufus's brothers of Rufus brothers Rufus the brothers Rufus that's your name that's a good name your podcast it's never going to happen
Aloysious J. Pig: so we should talk about we should talk about about the bunny we should talk about the bunny before people forget about the bunny
Natty Bumpercar: yeah so
Aloysious J. Pig: go ahead you go you do it you do it
Natty Bumpercar: so it's this weird infatuation when you have kids at holidays of these creatures these magical mythical creatures that break into your house and do stuff we've got the elf on the shelf that comes around Christmas obviously there's Santa Claus that comes around Christmas now we have the leprechauns that we try to capture at St. Patrick's Day and then there's the and then there's this Easter bunny that comes and distributes eggs all around the house I don't think there's any other ones that I'm forgetting no there's nothing on Halloween there's not like thank goodness because that would that would not work out because the kids are already terrified enough but like get out of my house
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Bumperpodcast #200: Bumpercar is back – and Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle are not thankful.
Bumpercar is back – with a very special guest – and – Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle are scrambling to cover themselves on this episode of the Bumperpodcast!
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Do you like special guests? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.
About This Episode
In this milestone 200th episode of the Bumperpodcast, chaos erupts as Natty Bumpercar returns from his annual Thanksgiving tradition of finding Turkey. Doodle Poodle, Aloysious J. Pig, and Robot attempt to convince Bumpercar they're recording episode 197, not the big 200th, leading to increasingly suspicious behavior and nervous deflections. As the characters struggle to maintain their cover story about a normal Thanksgiving episode, the truth threatens to unravel. The episode captures the improvisational comedy style of the show with characters talking over each other, cracking under pressure, and ultimately fleeing when Bumpercar discovers the truth about what episode they're actually recording.
Memorable Quotes
“I just wanted you to know that I'm just a dog who likes to draw, and I don't know anything about episode numbers, or anything, I don't know nothing about nothing.”
— Doodle Poodle
“You're cracking under pressure. Not that there's any need for pressure, there's no pressure here, no pressure at all.”
— Aloysious J. Pig
“Run! Run!”
— Doodle Poodle
Topics: #thanksgiving #200thepisode #confusion #secrets #celebration #turkey
Featuring: Doodle Poodle, Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Robot
Full Transcript
Doodle Poodle: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, are you ready for the 200th episode of the Bumper Podcast?
Aloysious J. Pig: Hey guys, hey guys, hey, doodle doodle, hey, what's going on? Hey Bumper Car, what's going on now? Hey Bumper Car, how's it going? Play it off guys, play it off. What are you talking about? Okay, hey, what are you doing? It's great to see you. Welcome back to the show. I mean, welcome to the show, not welcome back. No one know you, God, no one know you, missing.
Natty Bumpercar: Hey, are you okay? You're acting kind of crazy right now. What are you guys doing? Are you just getting everything ready? We're going to do, I think it's episode 197. The big 197 episode right now, right? The big 197.
Robot: That's what we're doing right now.
Doodle Poodle: To 197. To 197. Hey, doodle doodle. That's what we're doing. Yeah, 196. Pig, make it fitter, make it better, pig, make it fix it, pig. Doodle doodle, you. Bumper Car came back. Yeah.
Natty Bumpercar: There he is. Hey, you guys are all acting really weird right now. I don't know what's happening, but I went out for a couple weeks. I apologize, guys, everybody, Bumper Podcast-cateers, but I was out. I was, you know what time of year it is. Yeah. Here it is. It's Thanksgiving, and so every year, what we like to do is we like to go and find our friend, Turkey. Oh, no. Yeah. Not this guy. It's Turkey, yeah.
Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, Turkey. Oh, it's great to see you again, Turkey. I can't believe you're back again this year. How many years is this now that we've been seeing you? Every year, it seems like for my entire life. Oh, wow. Every year. So that explains everything, everybody. That explains everything. That explains what Bumper Car went. Yeah.
Robot: Yeah, that explains everything. Yeah, robot. That explains the whole story. You know, nothing weird. No. Nothing strange. Nothing weird going on here at all. Oh, okay. Bumper Car.
Natty Bumpercar: Wow. So let's, I guess we should probably, I mean, start recording.
Unknown: I mean, we should, do you guys want to be on the show right now?
Natty Bumpercar: Do you want to be on the show this year? Or what do you, what should we do? I mean, I mean, it's, it's the Thanksgiving episode. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's always the Thanksgiving episode, like, you know, tomorrow and I apologize, everybody. Normally what happens is we do a couple of episodes before Thanksgiving with Turkey. So you can really get to know them. And it's, it's, it's a bigger thing, but this year it was, I couldn't find them to be honest. And so I went out and, you know what? Well, I'm not gonna tell you this story right now. Why don't we get everything set up? We're going to do the Bumper, Bumper Podcast right here. The Thanksgiving Bumper Podcast with, it's a jam packed show. We got pigs. It's, uh, Robot, can you look into this? Can you figure out what's wrong? I think something must be messed up, because obviously for the 200th episode, it's going to be something really big and exciting. Yeah, it's not going well. This is just from 197. Oh, no. It's a Thanksgiving, so it's a big episode, but it's not, this is not, you know, the 200th episode. We got two more to go before that, which I hope you guys are excited about. I know I am.
Doodle Poodle: I just wanted you to know that I'm just a dog who likes to draw, and I don't know, anything about episode numbers, or, or, anything, I don't know nothing about, I don't know anything about, nothing about anything at all, nothing about anything at all.
Aloysious J. Pig: Hey, listen, Doodlepoodle, you gotta stop what you're doing, what are you doing, Doodlepoodle? You're cracking under pressure. Not that there's any need for pressure, there's no pressure here, no pressure at all. It's a Thanksgiving episode, Robot's looking into the numbers, clearly something's a little bit screwy, wonky on that, and, uh, we're just gonna do a normal Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving podcast right now, buh-buh-podcast right now, everybody, of course.
Natty Bumpercar: Pig, you are always the voice of reason, I love that what you're, I mean, that makes sense. Alright, how should we start? We should just start the show. Because, I mean, I feel like we've been talking for a while now. Ladies and gentlemen, it's me, Natty Bumpercar, it's the Bumper Podcast, it's the Thanksgiving episode, and, wait, no, no, this isn't, guys, this is the 200th episode, what happened? What happened?
Doodle Poodle: Run! Run!
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