Tag: summer

  • Bumperpodcast #417 – Season 2 – Slow News

    Bumperpodcast #417 – Season 2 – Slow News

    This episode starts off with a sweet jam — and then devolves — as most episodes seem to do … Oh well, at least we have fun?!

    The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!

    [av_toggle_container faq_markup=’faq_markup’ initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” size-toggle=” av-medium-font-size-toggle=” av-small-font-size-toggle=” av-mini-font-size-toggle=” size-content=” av-medium-font-size-content=” av-small-font-size-content=” av-mini-font-size-content=” heading_tag=” heading_class=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-l5ec0jgn’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-l5ec024t’ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:06 Okay, sometimes in the meantime, in between time, that’s fine. And between times, that’s me time Rufus T. Rufus 0:13 and my me time I grind rollover to the skipper’s, cabeza de Loup. And now, because I don’t like to rap ado, I’m gonna send it over producer to you. Producer 0:27 Well, I’m a frog in the bag and they sitting in the log, and you know that I mean, time on my grind because there’s no, I do like to rhyme on the frog and to give him a bargain, you know, I see it on a log. And I know I’m the fear because I’m sitting right here and I’m sitting in my slime. Rufus T. Rufus 0:45 Wait a minute. That was pretty amazing. But what do you mean, you’re sitting in your slime that kind of threw off the whole vibe of what we would go in for I think, yeah, I remember he was talking about bogs and logs and frogs. Now, that was all kind of fun. But then I’ll add a no ways. Like I’m sitting him some slack. And I didn’t approve. I don’t know what that sounds kinda. I don’t know. Maybe a little yucky to me. Producer 1:19 When I was resisting did you name if I’m a frog, and frog some things were kind of sliding, especially if we’re in a swamp in a bog, which is kind of like a swamp and different sitting on. Log in a bog. Just like a frog. It gets kind of slimy. I don’t know. What happens. It’s natural for me. Aloysius J. Pig 1:44 Yeah. Okay. I guess. Can we cut the music real quick. Got it. Got it. Got it. Thank you. Okay, so I think in the future, maybe we just need to work shop arrives a little bit just so we don’t get into any kind of uncomfortable situations. On it’s much nicer. Okay. Nice. Better Music. Bumpercar Yep. Have you even said what we are yet? No. Oh, hi. No, I’m Natty Bumpercar 2:07 so sorry. We just went right into the song. I’m Natty Bumpercar And this is the bumper podcast and want to say hi to Radio Free Montclair as always, we had so far Aloysius J pig. And we had Rufus T Rufus. And we had a producer, he’s the frog. And everyone I did some research and frogs. Actually, they are slimy. That’s he was not saying anything weird. He was just kind of speaking his truth as it were. So it’s okay. Producer, we appreciate your thank you. I appreciate that. Regardless of how slimy you are. Okay, Producer 2:48 so, the Okay, cool. You made a joke? I did it. Do you? Matter? Do you take anything? Seriously? Yeah. Rufus T. Rufus 2:56 Boy, this is gonna become some sort of an intervention, isn’t it? I’m gonna go ahead and just say, Nettie, you’re not on the hook, regardless of what you say here. So if you say yeah, of course, I take things seriously, that’s fine. And if you say no, life is but a joke. And that’s fine, too. You know, it gets kind of like, producers slam prog thing. We understand that with you. perception of reality, and how you deal with things means that sometimes you’re going to be a little bit more than all the time. Um, yeah, Natty Bumpercar 3:32 I mean, okay, then. So I don’t really know what to say. Of course, I do take some things seriously. But then, yeah, what you just said? Do I really have to talk about this rant? Yeah, I’m fine. I, I do take things seriously all the time. But then I also try to laugh at the world because otherwise a massive thing. If people say, Oh, you don’t laugh, you’re gonna cry. It’s true, right? There’s a lot going on in the world, a lot of scary stuff, a lot of unpleasant stuff. And you wake up every day and you you have choices how you’re going to, we always say to the kids, it’s not how you it’s not that you did a bad thing. It’s, it’s how you’re going to deal with it after it’s done. Right? So let’s say you dropped a glass of milk. Right? And if you then start screaming at your brother or something and saying he didn’t even know it wasn’t near you, then that’s not awesome. But if you drop a glass of milk and then you say, oh, no, I dropped a glass of milk. Let me go get some some a towel or paper towel or whatever, and clean it up and clean up my mess. That’s awesome. Right? So it’s all in how you react to things. That’s how did I get to this? I think I’ve become very convoluted and unconfident. Yeah Rufus T. Rufus 4:59 I mean, we were asking you if you take anything seriously and then you started talking about milk and now I’m thirsty and we don’t even do we have we don’t even have paper towels anymore. We have bamboo towels which just kind of float above the liquid. It’s kind of interesting how that works out. But yeah, you know, I don’t know. I always just Natty Bumpercar 5:21 hold on we just said voice man, is that you? We didn’t have we breaking news. Okay, everybody stop what you’re doing. We have some sort of news coming into the podcast. This is great. Voice Man 5:32 Hear from me COVID down only news this gets me voice man with some breaking news. Well, today a turtle was spotted in someone’s yard. This turtle was just watching turtle yarn, but the owner of the house was asking is this turtle? someone’s pet? Is this turtle by himself? Who is this turn? Oh, wait. Natty Bumpercar 5:56 I don’t know if you can hear me voice man. But it’s the breaking news seriously that there was a turtle in somebody’s yard. Voice Man 6:02 Maddie you have to understand that turtles are well known slow thieves. They’ll break into your house your car very slowly. And so the homeowner wanted to know immediately if they should be concerned about this turtle. Oh no slough Rufus T. Rufus 6:21 thieves. I have never what is this? This is jibber jabber that you’re you’re promoting here voice man. This you come on to the show you interrupt me by the way. And now all of a sudden you’re going to talk about how turtles are what a day the enemy of the people. I don’t I don’t I don’t buy that one. I’m not a lawyer of this podcast, I have to say, I want to make sure that we’re not saying anything about art at all. Brethren, that is you know good. We could be liable for that we could get in trouble for so yeah. Voice man. I’m gonna ask you just to kind of slow down a little bit on the turtle talk until we get this handled. Okay. Voice Man 7:12 I completely understand but uh, here the coffee can ally newsdesk, I bring the news to you Natty Bumpercar 7:20 over over 400 episodes in and we’ve we’ve we’ve never had a breaking news during a podcast so I don’t really what the was it the turtle? That’s what you decided. This is the episode that I have to break into because there was a turtle on somebody’s yard. Voice Man 7:39 There’s not a lot of news happening and round coffee. Sometime sometimes, you know, news man a weather news man like myself finds myself sitting here at the desk and just looking for stories and this came across and I figured I would try it. Rufus T. Rufus 7:56 Now now. No good. No, no. Strike one voice man when the news is important, especially local news, but this is like hyper local, and it’s about a turtle so it turtles not I did some research I looked over not known there as there were no reported accounts of a turtle breaking into a house or stealing a car. No turtles have ever done this. According to the internet. Everyone knows the internet never lie now Natty Bumpercar 8:33 I don’t I don’t know if we should say that the internet never lies because there’s a lot of places that stories come from. But yeah, I agree. I don’t want to besmirch turtles we actually have if you look at our analytics for this podcast so many turtles that listen and so to all the turtles out there listening right now to the bumper podcast I apologize moving forward we’re gonna have you know any breaking news stories vetted out Aloysius J. Pig 9:02 excellent reminds me I got a postcard in the mail that says I need to get vetted I need to get vetted what do you what do you mean get vetted What are you talking about to go to the vet to get looked at a checked out or will my my yearly pig examination you know get my not get everything checked worked on Natty Bumpercar 9:22 okay you know that’s that’s called going to the vet That’s not called Getting vetted. But as soon as you’re done with the show, I will call and make an appointment for you to get you checked out you’re Producer 9:37 going yet if you’re making an appointment for Aloysius it’s possible you can sir make an appointment for me because I also need to go to the to the vet for yes you to action that I have been going on okay. Natty Bumpercar 9:52 Oh producer I’m okay. Sure. Is that Is there a you Okay? Is there anything that I need to worry about or If anything at all, Producer 10:01 I didn’t want to talk about it, especially in light of what voice man said. But I was walking through the swamp the other day and the turtle came up to me and he beat me up a little bit. And I think I just don’t well, I’m feeling a little bit off. Wait. Natty Bumpercar 10:23 Wait, so you’re saying a turtle. Okay. Maybe I made our turtles maybe not as nice as I’ve come to expect. Am I in the wrong about turtles? Does anyone know about turtles? Please reach out to us and let us know. Seriously Voice Man 10:43 another bit of breaking news. I’m sorry to interrupt but I was already here another turtle has been spotted in a different yard. This turtle has been found to not be someone’s pet. This turtle was wearing a banjo on his back and was headed he said to Music City. little turtle oh Natty Bumpercar 11:10 we’ve had two turtles, three turtle stories now in one day. The first is it was one a pet. The second one was producer getting beat up by a turtle which I’m not laughing at I swear. And now the third one is that there’s a turtle with a banjo on his back who’s said he’s headed to Music City. So we’re really running the gamut today on turtle stories. It must be a slow news day Rufus T. Rufus 11:36 now. Oh, Natty I’m gonna beg you to never do that again. Ever. Oh, that was our that hurt me that joke actually hurt me was a joke was that exactly. I was here and listening. But I didn’t hear and normally I try to see how many jokes I hear but I didn’t understand he made a joke Producer 11:55 about slow news. Outro 12:09 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon. NonPro 13:29 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]

  • Bumperpodcast 261 – Yelling about Summer

    Bumperpodcast 261 – Yelling about Summer

    Special guest, Emerson is in the house – yelling a bit – talking about summer adventures. He’s my favorite guest named Emerson, ever. Seriously, ever.

    Do you like summer? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

  • Bumperpodcast #175: Rain, Cats, Celebration

    Bumperpodcast #175: Rain, Cats, Celebration

    Holy beans! It’s our 175th Bumperpodcast. There would be dancing in the streets if not for all of this rain … Oh – and – cats are geniuses.

    Do you think cats are smartl? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    I think you are smart!


    About This Episode

    In episode 175 of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar celebrates reaching the milestone 175th episode while reflecting on his tendency to get distracted before completing things. Natty discusses what he calls "the summer of rain," humorously calculating that there have been 400 yards of rainfall using questionable math. He shares his frustrations about wearing waterproof booties that trap moisture and recounts a bizarre experience at a brackish lake where he decided to lick his sandy hands clean after seeing his cat do something similar. This evergreen episode showcases Natty's signature rambling comedy style and absurd observations about everyday life.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I usually get distracted around number 17 or maybe around sometimes number six… i don't get far in i get confused i get aimless and then there's a struggle and then i'm done and then maybe i take a nap”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I wear booties like little which are small boots that are waterproof but they're so small that the water still gets in them and since they're waterproof it locks that moisture in”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I decided to lick them because i saw my cat doing that and as you all know cats pretty much basically are geniuses”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #milestones #summer #rain #water #lakes #cats #bathing #comedy

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right all right all right all right all right all right all right is this is the ladies and gentlemen this is natty bumper car this is the 175th episode of the bumper podcast 175 of anything is a lot of things but a hundred like me doing 175 of anything is astronomical i usually get distracted around number 17 or maybe around sometimes number six like it does not i don't get far in i get distracted i get confused uh i get aimless and then uh there's a struggle and then i i'm done and then i maybe i take a nap maybe i take a bath with uh some uh little uh seashells that are filled with um smelly stuff you know that melt in the bathtub because i like to uh pamper myself a little bit and obviously you guys like to pamper yourselves as well because you've probably listened to all one hundred and seventy five of the bumper podcasts right you've been around fun bumper podcast cateers so congratulations to you because you've made it this far congratulations to me because i've made it this far uh and i think we should give handshakes high fives uh fist bumps fist pumps i think they're bumps we're gonna say bumps pounds the fist bumps are pounds right i don't know what i want to do but i want i want us to make little fists and i want us to to knock them together fist knocks i don't know what the terminology is if you know uh please let me know because i want to make sure that i i don't want to just walk up to somebody in the mall and be like what up brah fist doodle and they're like what's a fist doodle and i'm like i don't know it's what you do you know and then they walk away let's talk bumper podcast about this summer that we're still in the middle of the but not for much longer uh this summer what i like to call the summer of rain it has rained non-stop every day 87 inches of rain every week uh so you know that's three weeks in a month so how many months in the summer for like 4 12 12 weeks times 87 that's upwards of 1600 uh inches of rain and as you know uh 12 inches makes up a foot and then i think there's four feet in the yard so uh 1600 for that means that we have had 400 yards of rain this summer that's astro that's too much i'm not going to say the word astronomical at the end i don't know i i don't use that in normal speech but today twice i'm trying to use it why because it fits the bill because why because we've had an astronomical amount of rain this summer it's too much i wear swimmies everywhere i go and i wear uh booties like little which are small boots that are waterproof but they're so small that the water still gets in them and since they're waterproof it locks that moisture in i feel like i'm i'm not going to be able to do that i'm walking on a lake is how i feel and i don't want to walk on a lake because lakes are gross i was in a lake recently and uh it was one of those weird like it wasn't even it was like an estuary or something where there's there's there's ocean water coming in and then there's uh it's brackish you know where there's some fresh water and some uh some seawater and so but it felt like a lake it looked like a lake there was a little dock out there and i was like oh my god there like a lake and but then there was also seaweed so is it lake weed i don't know but it was gross and like at one point i had sand on my hands which sounds kind of beachy sounds kind of oceanish and i was like i gotta wash my hands off because i've got sand on them and i went to dip my hands into the brackish water and realized they were coming out much grosser than they were going in and um so then i just decided to lick them because i saw my cat doing that and as you all know cats pretty much basically are geniuses

  • Bumperpodcast #173: Diving through blah

    Bumperpodcast #173: Diving through blah

    Remember that thing that Bumpercar was sooo excited about? Well, it broke.

    But – we move on and talk about diving into pools – which is for the better anyway.

    Have you ever jumped into a pool? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Diving is fun!


    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar returns after a two-week absence to explain what happened to the exciting project he was teasing. The thing he was so careful not to jinx? It got jinxed anyway. Natty shares his disappointment and technical difficulties that kept him from posting new episodes, even after recording them on his phone. He also discusses his recent pool adventure, including his triumphant (and slightly terrifying) return to the diving board after many years. Listen as Natty navigates disappointment, technology troubles, and the unexpected pain of summer fun.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I was like because maybe even i've said too much and then it's gonna still break and guess what it broke… that was enough to jinx it that was enough to blow the balloon up”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm sitting here like staring at the phone staring at the computer saying like come on guys you got to help me out here… but they didn't work with me no they just sat there and and did nothing zero help”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “there's a terror that you're gonna jump miss boom and then you're gonna be explode into the but I didn't do that”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #disappointment #jinxing #technicaldifficulties #summer #swimming #divingboard #personalstories #podcasthiatus

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast oh bumper podcast i sound quavery i sound so quavery listen to me oh wait that's what you're doing remember a few weeks ago a little while ago i was so beyond excited about something and i was just like i'm so excited about this thing but if i get too excited then it's gonna break and i don't want to get too excited i don't want to tell you all about it and then um and i was like because maybe even i've said too much and then it's gonna still break and guess what it broke the thing that i was so excited about that i really only gave you such a whisper about just like a little tiny bit of like all i did literally was i said hey there might be something coming up that i'm excited about but i don't want to jinx it so i'm not going to tell you what it is right that was enough that was enough to jinx it that was enough to blow the balloon up to knock it out of the water the boat out of the water to uh I don't know whatever other things you say but it did and so I apologize I haven't been here for a couple weeks I've been under a rock uh sobbing uncontrollably no but I was sad I was very sad and then the reason I haven't been here I actually recorded episodes but I had to do it on my phone and for some reason the phone I don't want to get technical on you but the phone wouldn't talk to the computer and so now I'm sitting here like staring at the phone staring at the computer saying like come on guys you got to help me out here you you you got to work with me to make these things happen right but they didn't work with me no they just sat there and and did nothing zero help so but I'm back and I'm excited I'm better I'm I I I have come to terms with uh with some things you and I've got my computer working so I can record and it's summer and I'm gonna go to the pool no I'm not I wish I was here's the thing whenever I go to the pool all it does is make me tired like I'm like yay I'm at the the other day I went to the pool and then they had the diving boards open and I haven't been on a diving board in many many moons and I um so I went up and I did it a couple of times holy it hurts it wasn't just like the diving board that's like a couple of feet it was like a little bit up but I forgot that oh there's some pain involved and when you like run and you do a little jump jump boing like there's a terror that you're gonna jump miss boom and then you're gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be explode into the but I didn't do that so and I did uh three dives and then I was just like I did it look at me bumper car the master diver

  • Bumperpodcast #169: The Burble

    Bumperpodcast #169: The Burble

    Today is a day for inventing – and – Bumpercar pulls out all of the stops when he unveils the future … And – that future is bright and it is the Burble (patent pending) …

    What is the ‘Burble’?! The ‘Burble’ is EVERYTHING!

    Live the Burble lifestyle – love the Burble lifestyle – be the Burble lifestyle!

    Do you have any idea what I’m talking about? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    I love to invent!


    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar rallies the Bumperpodcast crew to embrace their inventor roots on this hot summer day. After noting they haven't invented anything in ages, Natty challenges everyone to come up with new ideas, starting with silly names. The team lands on "burble" and begins brainstorming what this mysterious invention could be. From garden burbles to poolside burbles to bathroom burbles, the possibilities multiply. By episode's end, the burble has evolved into an all-in-one 21st century companion that serves as concierge, therapist, journal, cooler, music player, phone assistant, and dog walker—perhaps the most ambitious invention the Bumperpodcast has ever conceived.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Hey look at me I'm a baker. Well what do you bake? Well you know I don't really I eat cake. You're not a baker then.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The burble is going to be your 21st century best friend. It's like a concierge, it's like a therapist, it's like a journal, it's like a party cooler.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The burble might be too much for us. I don't even know if we can handle the burble.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #inventing #creativity #brainstorming #innovation #humor #summer #imagination

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: what's up bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and i think that today it's a nice hot summer day and i got it in my craw that we should be doing some inventing because we haven't invented anything in a long time and how can we consider ourselves to be inventors if we're not actually inventing you know it's like uh hey look at me i'm a baker well what do you bake well you know i don't really i i eat cake you're not a baker then you know why hey look at me i'm a i'm a i'm a pilot you what i didn't know you were a pilot do you what kind of what do you fly you fly like helicopters planes commercial like what do you fly oh yeah when i was a kid my uh my dad got me some wings on an airplane you're not a fool you're not even you're not even anywhere near a pilot well that's how i feel about us right now everybody because we haven't invented anything in a long long time so by show of hands has anybody got anything that they've been working on has anybody have anything they've written down maybe some sketches looking around the room looking around the room not seeing anything nobody nobody all right all right well what about just funny names for things and maybe then we can take that and i I think that's always a good foundation for an invention is just to start off with a silly word or a funny name. What's that? Burble? Burble? Burble? Okay. Burble. Is a burble a thing? I've never heard of a burble. No. All right. Well, all right. All right. So today, I suppose we're going to be inventing a burble. Any ideas as to what the burble does? Where it would be? Okay. That's good. You could have a burble in a garden. That sounds good. Burble by your pool. I would like, why do I keep touching the microphone? I apologize. I would like an indoor burble is nice. I would like, you know what? You have a nice bathroom, nice candles maybe going. And right there in the bathroom, right next to you, a nice burble. I mean, I feel like we're really on to something. I feel like the burble is going to be your 21st century best friend. It's like a concierge. It's like a therapist. It's like a journal. It's like a party cooler, like a refrigerator. It's going to definitely play music because obviously it's going to take calls for you. It's probably going to walk your dog. You know what? The burble might be too much for us. I don't even know if we can handle the burble. Jeez. When I first started the Bumper Podcast today, I had no idea the mountains that we were going to climb, the heights we were going to reach, the stars we were going to see. Ladies and gentlemen, the burble.