Tag: pig

Bumperpodcast #215 – April Fools …

It’s April Fool’s Day – and Bumpercar realizes that the only person that he really tricked was himself. Is this the best day of the year or the worst day of the year? Who cares?!

Do you like muffins or cupcakes? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

About This Episode

In this April Fool's Day episode, Natty Bumpercar shares his anxiety-filled experience planning an elaborate prank that he ultimately couldn't go through with. After spending a week preparing an April Fool's joke and scheduling it to post automatically, Natty wakes up at 1 AM in a panic and spends 40 minutes frantically undoing everything. He reflects on pranking his kids with breakfast muffins disguised as cupcakes and dresses, which doesn't go over well. The episode explores why April Fool's Day might be the worst holiday ever, though Natty does find joy in putting googly eyes on items in his refrigerator, inspired by Pee-wee Herman.

Memorable Quotes

“I apologize because I pranked myself basically. Hey bubba got you really did a good joke there who'd you trick me that's who”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I put googly eyes on the stuff in the fridge because Peewee Herman told me to and now every day when I open my fridge my ketchup is staring at me which is great”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I don't want this to turn into another cupcake muffin situation like I dealt with this morning you're better than that I'm better than that let's live for April 2nd”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #aprilfoolsday #pranks #anxiety #parenting #holidays #regret

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: what's going on everybody it's me natty bumper car and this is the bumper podcast and today is the first of april it's april fool's day and i had such a big thing planned and i mean like i spent pretty much a week on it got everything set up and i uh i it was it was gonna go out i had it set to automatically post in a few different places and then last night i woke up and like i well i couldn't go to sleep because my mind was kind of racing and then i uh i woke up at like one o'clock in the morning and i was just like i can't i can't go through it i just it's not worth it it's too much you gotta stop it and i had to like write it go stop the press we can't you don't do it the repercussions are too much it's just gonna be too much to deal with people's feelings can be hurt babies can cry dogs can run around in circles and chase their tails for reasons other than the fact that dogs love running around that was my lewis black i apologize uh so i got up and i was totally totally freaked out and um i had to come i came downstairs to the office here and and i just had to undo everything and then i got weird and ocd about it and when you schedule things to post in places and even if you move it over to you say i want you to be a draft now then it still says scheduled for this time scheduled for 5 38 in the morning was where one of them was scheduled and and and so i i i set it on to be a draft and then i was like i walked away and i walked back and i saw the scheduled thing i was like i'm still scheduled and and i mean it was like 40 minutes last night in the middle of the night of me undoing of practical joking myself basically hey bubba got you really did a good joke there who'd you trick me that's who the one person in world who really loves to sleep and really loves to not be awake in the middle of the night to undo something that we put a few days into doing ah so and then i'm driving around this morning and i'm like well maybe i'll put it up i'll just put a disclaimer like hey this is an april fool's trip that's stupid it's not how it works it's not it's it's just i don't know and so like then what do i do with it i just throw it away it's so frustrating so then i i started pranking here so then we we amped it down a bit and i started pranking my kids i was just like hey here's your dress to go to school today son and my kid was like what why do i have a dress i was like i don't know april fool's and he was just like that's not funny dad and then i took a picture of him and i walked into the room with uh these little mini muffins for breakfast and i was like hey kids who wants cupcakes for breakfast they freak out get super excited see that they're actually muffins and then lose their minds at me which i deserve because kids they don't they don't need that i don't need that i think april fool's might be the worst day ever i don't think it's a very nice day i mean i put googly eyes on the stuff in the fridge because peewee herman told me to and i was like that's a cute idea and here's the thing it's gonna be it's a gift that keeps giving because now every day when i open my fridge my ketchup is staring at me which is great don't know why i haven't done that before don't know why i waited till april fool's because that's more like christmas that's more like hey look the world is an amazing place anthropomorphic butter 10 butter 10 it's not 10 butter tub butter tub hey you guys want to come down to the club and see my band we're called butter tub we play funk rock fusion with a little bit of style butter tub i um all right i apologize because now i mean i've been through this entire podcast all i did was complain about april fool's don't april fool's people don't do it it's not worth it it's you're just gonna make people angry or sad or confused or whatever uh and i'm not and i didn't even tell you what i did and you know what i'm not gonna i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it because it's not worth it because then I'll have to explain it to you and I feel like I've been explaining for the last five minutes I don't want this to turn into another cupcake muffin situation like I dealt with this morning you're better than that I'm better than that let's live for April 2nd all right you

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April 1, 2015
Bumperpodcast #213 – Ermahgerd. That show!

Bumpercar is beyond super-excited at how awesome the show that he just watched was … Pig doesn’t understand. Things get a bit out of control when Robot shows up – and Pig makes a big life decision.

What’s your favorite show? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

About This Episode

In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar is absolutely losing his mind over a television show that 'everyone's talking about.' His hyperventilating enthusiasm is met with confusion from Aloysious J. Pig, who barely paid attention and found the show boring enough to fall asleep. As Natty rants about mind-blowing plot twists and 10-year plans, Pig struggles to understand what all the fuss is about. The situation escalates when Robot joins in agreeing with Natty, leading to hurt feelings and Pig dramatically threatening to move out. The episode satirizes obsessive TV fandom and the disconnect between passionate viewers and casual watchers.

Memorable Quotes

“The one dude went over to that one dude and there was a girl maybe and I don't know it's just like a television show.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I'm gonna do your job for you. This is a bumper podcast every week we get together and we yabber and yabber jibber and jabber.”

— Aloysious J. Pig

“You know what I'm sorry I'm gonna move out. See ya later pig.”

— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #television #friendship #popculture #arguments #fandom #comedy #hyperventilating

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: oh my god did you see that television show what are you talking about the show everybody's talking about did you see it it was amazing it was the most incredible show i've ever seen in my entire life i was just like oh my god calm down it's amazing could you just calm down the show what happened did you see what happened i was sitting there i don't know what we're even talking about i mean we watched a little television last night but it wasn't nothing that exciting i mean like the one dude went over to that one dude and there was a girl maybe and i don't know it's just like a television show yeah all right it was i couldn't believe it like i mean you watch your television sometimes and you're just like okay i guess i watched the television show but that show it wasn't even like a scene it wasn't even nothing like that like it was just crazy all right calm down he's hyperventilating he's hyperventilating over here you're gonna be okay buddy all right listen here's what we're gonna do we're gonna take the television okay i'm gonna say it again no you're gonna take your television privileges away until you think that maybe you can handle it a little bit i don't like that i'm just you're a you're a grown man i don't care and you're hyperventilating because some something happened on a television show it's a little bit weird i mean i'm a big yeah i know i get excited about some things but i don't hyperventilate when you know the girl goes over to the television show the girl and says oh blah blah blah whatever happened i don't even know because i wasn't paying i was i was half paying attention what honestly it kind of put me asleep what are you talking about it was the most epic like she's telling me it was the most awesome all right like mind-blowing like it basically reset the whole show like it pretty much just took the show i'm gonna leave now on its ear and it's just like what is gonna happen next week like where are they gonna go from realize this is a podcast right people i don't even understand i've been watching it now and i was just like i had thought i had an idea i thought i knew where it was gonna go because those television shows are just gonna do this this they're gonna draw it out into a lot of seasons this thing is gonna happen in five years they have like a 10-year plan i don't have time for a 10-year plan i don't have time for this show either because they're just moving things on he won't stop talking see now you got yourself heavy breathing again this isn't good for you i tell you it's your agita's gonna be all up you're gonna you gotta take a nap or something maybe go take a cold shower i don't know have have some oatmeal whatever it is that calms you down you need to do it right now because there's a thing this show's so good you haven't even told anybody this is a bumper podcast nobody knows what you're talking about because you just come in screaming about some show nobody even knows what show it is ever it was such a good show the show fine it's just that's the show everybody knows what the show is it's the best show ever fine yes hey bumper podcast it is i'm gonna do your job for you it's me pig the crazy one over there that's you okay ready this is a bumper podcast every week we get together and we yabber and yabber jibber and jabber oh you're gonna help me out yes this is terrible i know no no no no wait don't do that and then that stuff happened and it was the ever right am i right crazy crazy I can't stand either of you see robot now we have something in common because we both know what we're talking about pig doesn't know nothing about nothing as far as i'm concerned he's a crazy little swine what are you doing come on i didn't mean it that way that's not nice that's a mean thing to say to a pig i thought we were friends all of a sudden you're going on about this dumb show and now you're gonna call me mean names because i ain't crazy like you two come on let's not yeah both of you well you know what i'm sorry i'm gonna move out what no i'm gonna move out no see ya later pig

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March 18, 2015
Bumperpodcast #212 – Why do birds?

Bumpercar discovers that he might have a little ‘Muppet’ in him – which is super exciting. He also finds out some disturbing news about his pal Snowman. All on this week’s Bumperpodcast!

Why do birds? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

About This Episode

In episode 212 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar makes a surprising discovery about his vocal range when he accidentally sounds like Kermit the Frog while singing. The excitable host shares his enthusiasm about spring finally arriving at headquarters and discusses signing up for various podcast directories. Things take an unexpected turn when Natty recounts a mysterious incident involving his friend Snowman, who disappeared after taking an unusually long shower. Rufus T. Rufus makes a brief appearance to deliver an important environmental message about water conservation. This episode showcases the podcast's signature improvisational humor and absurdist storytelling style.

Memorable Quotes

“I didn't realize that I had muppets in me it's very exciting. I thought I just had pigs and robots and whatnot.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Don't take 45 minute showers. It's bad for the planet. Otters need something to swim in, clams need something to sleep in, shrimp need something to shrimp in.”

— Rufus T. Rufus

“Snowman came to visit and he went in the shower for 45 minutes and then he wasn't there. His towel was still there, his hat was still there, but Snowman was gone.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #spring #muppets #kermitthefrog #podcasting #environmentalconservation #waterusage #snowman #friendship

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: why do birds suddenly appear wait why do birds suddenly appear does that sound very kermit-ish i heard it just why do birds suddenly appear i have to listen to that hold on it does it doesn't like kermit i just listen i went back i rewinded i listened to it and it it sounded a lot like kermit the frog and that's pretty cool to me because i didn't know that i had it in me i don't know other things that i can uh hello i am oh wait that one i am kermit the frog you does that sound like i don't know watch it i i don't oh ah this is the best day ever okay watch this i can do this too

Unknown: all right this is a terrible beginning of a podcast i understand i apologize

Natty Bumpercar: but i didn't realize that i i had i have muppets in me it's very exciting i thought i just had pigs and robots and whatnot uh ladies and gentlemen this is natty bumper car this is the bumper podcast this is what you all signed up for this is what you uh sent in your your mailers you emailed us you smoke singled us you sent out uh morris code which by the way how did morris get his own code i've been working at that for my whole life ah all right thank you everybody have fun and don'tardo hey hey what are you doing uh uh don't i guess a lot what do we have here uh uh and and and this is the show uh what do we do here well we have a lot of fun clearly and we talk about things and what i i recently i found uh all these they're called um podcast places and directories that's what they're called and i i didn't know what and i so i signed up for all of them i was like hey will you listen to my podcast hey we listen to my podcast hey will you listen to my podcast can i have your email address at night and Guess who's coming next to me because i was on yourtone on our podcast creator can i have your信emasis my podcast and stuff and i found out that they they did and that makes me happy so thank you very much i appreciate uh a million times you i'm looking at you in particular i appreciate you over there you were great as well you oh yeah you you're gonna get a star blue star that's the highest of the stars so that's going on your board over there you you're in my dream journal i put you in there you're in my lockbox and you uh i think maybe we're gonna get ice cream with sprinkles so that's pretty cool it's it's that kind of week why i'm sounding pretty giddy i'm sounding pretty happy i know this we're not allowed to it's spring ha ha ha ha finally the snow is going to go away and it's going to be spring here at headquarters and the only bad part about spring for me is that it means like yeti who was here last week he's gonna go wherever he goes and he's like a reverse snowbird like when it gets hot he goes to colder climates and my friend snowman he's gonna go away for a little while and uh can i tell you something crazy that happened so snowman came to visit and he was like you know if i could i could take a shower and i was like yeah sure go take a shower snowman he's like i'll beg you can i get a towel and i was like yeah here's a towel and he went in there and um he uh the i the water was on forever he was in there i'm gonna say a good 45 minutes which ladies and gentlemen the fish need water

Rufus T. Rufus: too don't take 45 minute showers it's bad for the planet you understand it's bad for the world otters need something to swim in clams need something to sleep in shrimp need something to shrimp in don't take 45 minute showers

Natty Bumpercar: so i eventually i was knocking on the door and i felt i was kind of embarrassed but i i opened the door and i was like hey buddy what's he wasn't there so evidently snowman had gone into the shower take a shower and then uh just left it running and then we're like his towel was still there his hat was still there uh and then i didn't i don't know much about snowman physiology but there was his i saw his nose his eyes his button nose his uh his stick hands and his uh carrot no i mean they were all there so i don't i assume that he takes those things off before he gets in the shower but i again i don't know how it works wait what

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March 11, 2015
Bumperpodcast #211 – Crying Yeti is sad

Yeti stops in and Natty has to soothe him – because he is crying – again. Why is he always crying? I think that we just might find out!

Do you ever cry? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

About This Episode

In episode 211 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar encounters an extremely upset Yeti who can barely communicate through tears and incoherent sounds. As Natty tries to comfort the distressed creature by asking if he's hungry, tired, or needs a diaper, the situation grows increasingly absurd. Eventually, it's revealed that Aloysious J. Pig hurt the Yeti's feelings by calling him a "talking rug." This hilarious episode showcases the improvisational comedy and bizarre character interactions that make the Bumperpodcast unique, as Natty attempts to mediate between the sensitive Yeti and the oblivious Pig.

Memorable Quotes

“Every episode of the Bumper Podcast is turning into some weird fever dream for the last couple of… I don't know who's showing up. I don't know what they're talking about.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“You're a really upset ball of fur. No, that was a term of affection. It was like from the movie.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“He got a talking rug, and he got a podcast. That's with you. How much fun is that?”

— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #yeti #hurtfeelings #friendship #comedy #crying #misunderstanding #conflictresolution

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig

Full Transcript

Unknown: Hey, why are you crying, why are you so sad, nothing is the matter with me, well some things

Natty Bumpercar: is the matter with me, well some things is the matter with me, well some things is the matter with me, well some things is the matter with me, well some things is the matter with me, well some things is the matter with me, well some things is the matter with me, well Did you get upset, Yeti? You sound a little bit like a cat. I'm sorry. I did not mean to. I'm not laughing at you. I'm sorry. Every episode of the Bumper Podcast is turning into some weird fever dream for the last couple of… I don't know who's showing up. I don't know what they're talking about. This is… Okay. Okay. Well, do you feel like talking now? No, not at you. Not at you. It's just a situation. Not that you're in. Okay. I apologize. No more… There will be no more laughing in this week's episode of the Bumper Podcast. I promise. I'm sorry.

Unknown: You're very… Upset. Really? Really? Okay.

Natty Bumpercar: Okay. Okay. I think I'm starting to get kind of an idea of what you're talking about. And by, you know, kind of an idea, I mean a lot… I have no idea what you're talking about. But I do understand that you're upset. I can see that right in front of me. Clearly. You're a really upset ball of fur. No, that was a term of affection. It was like from the movie. You're like a ball of fur. Whatever the people say. So, are you hungry? Okay. Are you tired? Are you cold? Or are you sleepy? This is all the questions I… Do you have a diaper? These are all the questions that I ask my kids when there's… I mean, because that's how upset you are right now. Like, you're… I can't even… Okay. Okay.

Unknown: Okay. You don't like… He's not nice? Somebody said something? I… I… I…

Natty Bumpercar: So, from what I'm gathering, from what you were just kind of pantomimed screaming at me, somebody said something mean to you, and you didn't like what they said, and what you're feeling. Alright. Okay. So, now we're on the right track. So, who was it? So, that… I mean, let's fix this. Let's just make the whole thing better. Let's figure it all out. Oh, hey. By the car on top, it's me, Pig.

Aloysious J. Pig: He got a talking rug, and he got a podcast. That's with you. How much fun is that? I see. Okay.

Natty Bumpercar: I see. It's him. It's him. Yeah. Okay, Pig. You're the problem. You can't call the Yeti a rug. It hurts his feelings. Because he feels like a rug. You can't hurt a rug's feelings, huh?

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March 4, 2015
Bumperpodcast #210 – Under New Management

Natty Bumpercar is excited to have a normal episode of the Bumperpodcast – and is excited when his new manager comes in to make a visit – until everything breaks.

Can you manage us? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

About This Episode

In this episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar's plans for a normal, relaxed show are quickly derailed when Rufus T. Rufus appears claiming to be his new manager. Rufus represents the management company "Rufus, Rufus and Rufus" and insists that Natty signed papers making him a client. What starts as a discussion about rebranding Natty as "Bumpy Sparkly Pants" and bringing advertising to the podcast quickly turns suspicious when Rufus reveals his management services aren't free. As Natty asks to see the contract, he discovers an elaborate bureaucratic maze involving no computers, certified mail, and months of waiting. The episode escalates into comedic chaos as Natty realizes he's trapped in a scam, with Rufus threatening to own everything from Bumpercar Headquarters to Natty's website if he tries to break the contract.

Memorable Quotes

“We are masters of disaster when it comes to entertainment and we are going to take you to the top of the mountain my friend”

— Rufus T. Rufus

“I am getting less and less happy with this situation this whole thing it's more of a scam than I ever imagined it was going to be”

— Natty Bumpercar

“We don't use computers we don't believe in them we feel like they are the devil's beast”

— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #management #scams #contracts #advertising #business #comedy

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and this is the bumper podcast i am so excited because today it's just going to be a normal episode it's going to be me talking to you telling you some funny stories you know catching up on stuff just normal basic bumper podcast nothing crazy i to say oh come on people don't seem to understand it so we're gonna change your name we're gonna call you bumpy sparkly pants or something that's the worst name i've ever heard in my life that was just off the top of my head well try harder and also i want to bring uh advertising to this podcast now i'm actually interested in that yeah that's good it's a good idea i thought so so all right the name thing clearly is not gonna happen uh because my name is my name and uh secondly i don't remember having a management company you signed the paper who did you say you were well i'm with rufus rufus and rufus and my name is uh rufus i'm the rufus in the middle you understand there's daddy rufus there's uh granddaddy rufus and that's me i don't know how i ended up in the middle you should be in the end the board says the sign says okay business cards say we are masters of disaster when it comes to entertainment and we are going to take you to the top of the mountain my friend all right well okay real quick i just want to confirm if it's a sign or a business card and it says rufus rufus and rufus you can just say you're at the end no one's gonna yeah no one's gonna know the difference i don't lie about things son i'm just saying you know it's just something to think about um i get you said i signed papers indubitably okay yeah got dotted line i well what so i i'm a little taken aback here i've never had management before i don't know what to do with it i don't know what to do with you i do like the idea about advertising i think that's probably a great idea pay some of the bills around here my friend well son now that's one of the things i wanted to talk to you about you understand management companies do not come for free oh seriously are you serious exactly come on you gots to pay to earn oh understand you gots to spend money to make money if you want to see the scrooge mcduck full of coins i do you gotta make sure that i get my money too okay this is a total scam so here's our plan all right it's a several point plan how many points is it i just want to make sure several let's just live with that okay all right i i like a plan and i like that there's several points i don't like that i owe you money already for something i'm not too keen on that whole thing so do you have the paperwork that i evidently signed with you do you have it or can you get it can you and of course can you did you email it to like i want the paper so that i can read what's happening we don't use computers we don't believe in them we feel like they are the devil's beast all right what we do is we have you sign one copy one copy goes in our vault okay and then it is there for safe keeping perfect and so if you ever need it i can always gain access to it okay that makes sense exactly however it does take uh you have to write a letter right handwrite all right send it to us via certified mail make sure that it has been stamped properly that's a lot of hoops you're making me jump through proper posted okay makes sense got a return address in there wow envelope yeah and then we've got a lot of we will fit we will get you your paper it's going to take two to three months in which time you would have incurred that many fees what you understand this is no this is several several dollars that we're talking about right up front i know i am getting less and less happy with this situation this whole thing it's more of a scam than i ever imagined it was going to be i think i want to break the contract you cannot do that sir i will i will own everything i will own headquarters i will own oh the your name okay your website i will own everything it will be mine rufus rufus and rufus will not be taken down my friend you understand well this certainly escalated quickly now didn't it

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February 26, 2015