Tag: humor

  • Bumperpodcast #416 – Season 2 – Interview

    Bumperpodcast #416 – Season 2 – Interview

    Not to excite you too much, but Pig is finally back at it with his stellar interviewing. Or is he?!?

    The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    [av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” size-toggle=” av-medium-font-size-toggle=” av-small-font-size-toggle=” av-mini-font-size-toggle=” size-content=” av-medium-font-size-content=” av-small-font-size-content=” av-mini-font-size-content=” heading_tag=” heading_class=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-l4u0pf16′ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-l4u0pdla’ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:04 boy oh boy oh boy. Hi, everybody, it’s me Natty Bumpercar And this is the bumper podcast. Now, you might be wondering, why are you so excited Natty? What can possibly be so great that you’re so excited? Well, we decided that we’re going to bring back a cool new segment here on the bumper podcast, with our pow Aloysius J pig. It’s called pig interviews. And so without further ado, I’m gonna Aloysius J. Pig 0:34 Hey, Natty. What did we do? What are you doing? I do want an intro for the pig interviews thing. Natty Bumpercar 0:38 Yeah, I’m super excited. Like, we haven’t done an interview and so long like, and people used to love those. And we did the interviews and so I’m, Aloysius J. Pig 0:47 I’m super excited. Yeah, excitement might be a little bit premature, as they say in the business. As I know, we talked about doing an interview, but I actually don’t have any kind of interview set up. We we never actually did that. Oh, Natty Bumpercar 1:03 wait, but I thought we talked about doing it. And I figured that since it’s your second segment that you were just gonna go and like find somebody to interview and, and do it. Like, you set everything up. Aloysius J. Pig 1:15 I we’ve known each other for a long time. Now, I think and I think it’s, it’s very presumptuous of you to assume that I’m going to discuss, we kind of talk about something that I’m then going to just get up and go do it. Like, you know, I need I need a list. It’s a bullet point or something No, like an actual call to action or something. But But I Natty Bumpercar 1:39 I don’t want to waste the podcast on this. But we had a meeting. And everybody was like, you know, how can I be more involved and producer we talked to him about what he can do. Which was I think, like make new music beds because this was getting kind of old. We talked to Rufus about I don’t remember what I talked to him about honestly, but we talked to you about we talked to do to poodle about making new artwork for every episode. And but we talked to you and we said okay, pig, you want to thing you had this pig interviews and just go go and do that again. And I did you did you did you need more? Like, like, yeah, like I said, Aloysius J. Pig 2:15 I wanted I wanted some bullet points. You know, I mean, I work off of lists, and I work off of bullet points. So if you could just put that into bullet points and I think I would very much appreciate it and then I could be up be out on my way out my business and Natty Bumpercar 2:30 whatnot. Okay, cool. So here’s your bullet list. Ready? Go do an interview. That’s it. Bullet go do an interview Aloysius. That’s, that’s that’s your list. Really. If you want me to break it down, find someone to interview and then interview them. That’s really it’s all you have to do. And then we will put the segment pig interviews back into the show. Is that okay? I sound mad. I think I sound Do I sound angry? Rufus T. Rufus 3:00 Me Rufus. Rufus. I just heard there’s an argument going on in here and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. You know, as the resident lawyer and also sometimes the HR department, I like to stay on top of things tipped up things and I’m trying to make sure that everything is smooth like butter. So Is everything okay? Aloysius J. Pig 3:21 Yeah, no, it’s so it’s not okay. Cuz Bumpercar Over there. He evidently we had some meeting and I mean, I don’t know, you know, we have all these meetings. It’s always like, Oh, look at my schedule. It’s like, oh, we have a meeting. Oh, we have another meeting. Meeting. The meeting. I have an email about the meeting about the minutes too many meetings. So I kind of might maybe I zoned out. I don’t know. I don’t remember. But evidently, he’s expecting me to interview here today. And I ain’t got one so and he’s all you know, he’s all up in arms about it. And I don’t know what to do. Well, yeah, I’m Natty Bumpercar 3:52 frustrated. But I don’t want to make the whole show about this. So we’re just going to move on. We’re not going to have an interview. And that’s fine. It’s we’ll just talk about something else. I’m gonna have any ideas? Yeah, I Rufus T. Rufus 4:05 got me an idea. It’s gonna make everybody happy. Aloysius, you’re gonna get your interview. And Nana you’re going to you’re going to be able to calm down a bit. Why don’t Natty Bumpercar 4:18 we’re not going to interview you Rufus. Absolutely not. That’s not it. No, absolutely Rufus T. Rufus 4:22 not. I wasn’t saying that. What I was saying was, you know, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you interview one of your children bumper car? Aloysius J. Pig 4:31 Are they still around? Are they still okay? I’m fine with that if that’s what we want to do. Go bumpy go rascal wrangler one year, kids. Let’s do this. Natty Bumpercar 4:40 Bumpy. Okay, I’ll be right back. You guys do what you will. Aloysius J. Pig 4:43 Yeah. Huh. I don’t really know what oh, hey, wait, there’s one of them. Now go grab Rufus. Go grab that one. You wait would child please come on over here. We’re Rufus T. Rufus 4:54 gonna Aloysius wants to say hi to you. Aloysius J. Pig 4:57 Okay. Hi, Al. At wacky I always forget I get you to mixed up. Which one? Which one? Are you? Are you? Are you being? Are you rice? Are you? Chicken? Are you rice? I’m very hungry evidently. Emerson 5:11 No, I’m Emerson. Aloysius J. Pig 5:13 Wait, are you serious? That’s actually your name? Emerson 5:16 Yes. Aloysius J. Pig 5:18 Great. So I guess I’m supposed to end have you weigh anything going on in the world that you get excited about? Maybe Emerson 5:27 summer? Natty Bumpercar 5:28 Hey, guys. Good. You found Emerson pig. So are you? Are you just going to talk to him? Or is that what’s going on? Aloysius J. Pig 5:34 Yep. Yeah, so you can go on about your day. Bumpercar And I’m gonna sit here and we’re gonna, I’m gonna interview with a kid you know, so we can talk about whatever we talk about, right? Yeah, that’s fine. That’s fine. Emerson if he says anything mean to you just let me know. Rufus T. Rufus 5:49 Okay, hold on a second. Yeah, that’s fine. He’s not gonna say anything mean to you? Not with I’ll stand here. I’ll be God. So I’ll protect you from this pick. Yeah, all right. Aloysius J. Pig 5:59 Yeah, it’s gonna be fine. Anyway, so you said your name was Sam or something? Emerson 6:04 Emerson? Aloysius J. Pig 6:05 That seriously? Your name? Emerson 6:07 Yes. Aloysius J. Pig 6:07 Okay. All right. I know what it does. Every time I say it. I’m just like, is that really his name? But it is so Emerson good to get to meet you. How do you spell that? Is that like, Emerson 6:20 E R? S O N? Aloysius J. Pig 6:21 e m e r s o s like a song? It is doing it don’t let me write e m e r y FQ I know. Emerson 6:31 E M E RR. Aloysius J. Pig 6:33 e m e os. That’s e n e r s o m e. S O N. Sun. The last three letters of your name is son. Who’s your brother moon? Rufus T. Rufus 6:49 Hold on Allah wishes that we talked. There was good one. No, we don’t bump a god and we’re gonna be nice to this job. Don’t Don’t be making fun of note. None of the kids. Okay, if there’s just got to be nice. Yeah. All Aloysius J. Pig 7:01 right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, fine. Okay, so and my son I’m Aloysius we’ve met before, correct? Emerson 7:09 Yes, Aloysius J. Pig 7:09 yes. Is there anything in particular that you’re excited about? Yeah. What do you any any fun things? Emerson 7:15 Summer. Aloysius J. Pig 7:16 You said it with a question mark at the end. You were like summer? Emerson 7:19 No. Aloysius J. Pig 7:22 You’re gonna do anything big this summer. Emerson 7:23 Legoland. Aloysius J. Pig 7:24 You’re gonna. What? Buy it? No, you’re gonna. You’re gonna move to Legoland bumper cars gonna be so sad. Emerson 7:32 No, no. Stay there Aloysius J. Pig 7:34 for a day. Oh, like a day trip? Emerson 7:37 Yeah. Aloysius J. Pig 7:38 Oh, that’s fun. What do you do it like a land? Did we’ll eat Legos. No. Ice cream made of Legos. Hot dogs. Hot dogs. Now, cucumbers made of Legos. Are you a vegetarian? No. It’s interesting. Okay. What about the pool? Do you go to the you like go into the pool? Emerson 8:01 Yes. Aloysius J. Pig 8:02 And what do you do they I mean, that’s that’s the basic answer. Yeah, but if you like do do run around the pool. Emerson 8:11 Yes. Aloysius J. Pig 8:12 Well, you’re not supposed to run around the pool. Isn’t that the rule? No running. No horseplay. No shenanigans. Emerson 8:19 No. Aloysius J. Pig 8:20 Do you get into shenanigans at the pool? Emerson 8:22 No. Aloysius J. Pig 8:23 Okay, well, that’s good. I was worried that you might do Can you do a game? Have you ever done a side flip? Emerson 8:32 No, but I’ve done a front flip. Aloysius J. Pig 8:34 A front flip. How’s it is so terrifying because like you’re you’re looking and you’re flipping in your eyes and you’re spinning up in the air? No. Wow. That’s very impressive. Are you going to take any any big trips this summer? Emerson 8:51 Yes. Aloysius J. Pig 8:52 Oh, well, you’re gonna go Emerson 8:53 Cape Cod. You’re not coming? Aloysius J. Pig 8:55 I can I please I know. You guys would always go there. But can this you know let me come Can I please come to the beach? I don’t want to talk to him. He’s mad at me right now because of this whole interview situation. Fine. I’ll talk to natty You got any other things you want to say on pig interviews today? Emerson 9:14 No. Aloysius J. Pig 9:15 Nothing to promote nothing to to put out there. No. Are you dropping any new albums? Emerson 9:21 No. Aloysius J. Pig 9:21 No. Okay, any? Are you doing any movies coming up? No. Does your restaurant have any cool specials that you want to promote? I don’t know. I’m just struck by man. I’m just I’m just struggling it you know? Well, listen. I want to thank you for coming by. Did you have any fun? Yes. Okay. Well, you’re you’re a man of few words. Really. This is I appreciate that. You’re succinct. That’s what they say in the business. Well, good to meet you son of Emma. And my son used to get that son of Emma. It makes you sound like you’re from Thor or something like that. Odin son. Mr. Sun, maybe maybe, okay, well, you out you run along and do all that good stuff. We’ll check you later. Okay. Emerson 10:08 Yeah, Rufus T. Rufus 10:09 well, there he was. I mean, that was a legitimate interview it went a few minutes and we really found out a lot about. He’s gonna, child is gonna go to the pool where he’s going to swim. He’s not going to engage in horseplay. He is going to break the rules of running a little bit, which we do not approve of, honestly, but hold on. It comes next. Let me yeah, we’re done. Come Natty Bumpercar 10:30 on. Come on in. Hey, hey, hey, guys. How did it go? I sent my kid just ran past me was that was a yo k was everything. Okay. You Aloysius J. Pig 10:38 know, it was good. Yeah, he was good on the microphone. He actually answered some questions. You know, it’s, what are these kids? Sometimes it’s like, yes, no, no, Natty Bumpercar 10:49 maybe it’s like, it’s like you’re you’re interviewing a scantron test or something. But that’s, you know, it’s fine. Because, you know, he seemed to enjoy it. He seemed to have fun. I don’t know whether he ran out it really? Yeah. But I mean, it wasn’t he wasn’t like running out crying or anything. So the great, awesome, so that you know what, fine, you win, Rufus. That was a great idea. We had a pig interview. And but normally, so I think let’s try to figure out some more. If there’s anybody out there who wants to be interviewed by pig and be on the bumper podcast, we’d love to have you. And, you know, if you whatever you do, if you make stuff if you don’t make stuff if you like stuff if you don’t like stuff, let us know. And and pig would love to talk to you. He’s normally an expert Interviewer I have to listen to this one at the end to see how it went. But I think it’d be fine. How did we produce it? We haven’t done that in a while. How Producer 11:43 are the levels? You know, I’m surely not evil, either child who’s kind of fired from the mic, but I think I can boost it up and I can make it work because you know what, that’s what the producer does. Make it work. Natty Bumpercar 11:55 You do get it get it. Outro 12:09 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon. NonPro 13:29 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]

  • Bumperpodcast #405 – Season 2 – Halloween

    It’s a scarifying (scary and terrifying) Halloween episode where all of the calls are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!

    The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    [av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-kve16v7s’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-kve16tl4′ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:04 What’s that? You said the calls coming from inside the house but doesn’t even make sense. It’s not how phones work. I mean, we don’t even have a landline so if there’s a phone call that’s happening and I’m inside the house and then the people have their cell phones and I guess the call can be coming from inside the house, but I don’t know if they can pinpoint it. That exact do they know where exactly where phone calls are coming from and so they can see on some sort of a map or something that the calls are coming from inside the house. Hmm, ah, is it an intercom maybe Is that what’s happening? No, Rufus T. Rufus 0:41 no, no, no, no, I believe we had signed some sort of paperwork and we got a telephone utensils that Sam but we would have to disclose and just quantify exactly where we were located. When we were making the telephone call. I’m looking around I don’t know if you can hear me I’m but I am looking around. I did hear the phone ring. And I heard the call. But I mean, could it possibly be coming from inside of the house? Producer 1:11 Hey, everybody, it’s me producer. I do normally know how the television works is you make a telephone call with the buttons in the Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing and if them the numbers is Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing and you can make the phone calling and your thing allow you have the conversation and everything but I don’t know exactly the technically speaking. Natty Bumpercar 1:33 Pretty. Producer, producer. Stop. Do you? No, no. What are you talking? Yeah, no. Producer 1:37 Okay. Yeah, no, I don’t I am saying I don’t know. Natty Bumpercar 1:41 Yeah, you went through all of that to say you don’t know. You’ll be like that’s that’s not even how people dial phones because no one knows any numbers are just like search for and then they push one it’s like beep and then they call the person call producer beep like it’s not Beep beep beep beep beep i don’t know phone number. I don’t even know my phone number. I had to fill out a form the other day and it said what’s your phone number? And I said no, I wish you would tell me is what I said to that form. And you know what that form said to me Aloysius J. Pig 2:12 and Bing nothing is that what the exactly Yeah, nothing makes sense because it’s a form forms don’t talk forms I like buckets that we take our information too. And we bring it to the bucket the bucket says name I’m going to bring my name to that bucket phone number I’m going to bring my phone number to that bucket you understand show if we can set it it forms I like buckets and we know that bucket actually do not talk then we know that forms will then not talk Am I Am I right Rufus T. Rufus 2:54 now when I had to take all the quizzes or tests whatever they offer to get into law school now there was one in particular that would say something like go banana is to a red panda as a lemonade is to eliminate stand and so you see that they’re making comparisons a con contrast and compare yeah contrast and compare Okay, Natty Bumpercar 3:30 do you understand no I mean I don’t I mean a banana to a What was it again? Producer 3:40 There’s a rat Natty Bumpercar 3:42 All right, it was a red panda got it wow you guys are both you guys both get your good listener badges today Rufus T. Rufus 3:50 Hold on a second I didn’t realize that we were still doing the badges I had donated those done some police buy was a box it said insert your badges and leave them tomorrow and the whole box it was a crate really a badges Natty Bumpercar 4:05 we had those in storage those huh? All right, guys. So you’re not going to get badges and I apologize. Because we don’t have me I’m not gonna order badges just for this. I don’t have any badges. I was supposed to incentivize you guys if I don’t have any badges. Rufus T. Rufus 4:21 I do apologize. However, I will point out that we did have a meeting whereby we were told to purge the extras the extra stuff because it were and we’ll let you know what let’s always I thought we talked about that. That bucket thing again. That was that was really interesting to me with the bucket Aloysius J. Pig 4:46 and I don’t want to talk about the bucket thing because I think I totally forgot that we were all obsessed and freaking out at the beginning of the episode. Yeah, it was a phone call. Yeah, it was coming from and cy da how good call Natty Bumpercar 4:58 pig because We never really figured that out. We got off track a few. We got off on several different tracks. And yeah, there was a phone call that is coming from inside the house, everybody. And I think it’s very serious because you know, what, to what tomorrow is? Does anybody do you know, what Has anyone had looked at the calendar? I Producer 5:17 haven’t looked at the calendar. But I know it’s not garbage dial recycling, because it’s a weekend that we don’t they don’t don’t pick up on the it’s not easy, like a leaf kind of day. You’re gonna put pick up some some ground ground. Ground three, nothing. Still sitting the bundle round. No, no. Okay. No, that, Rufus T. Rufus 5:39 let’s see, I believe the post office is closed on the weekend. I don’t really know where it is no court open on the weekend. I’m PHARMAC. Those are really the places that I go to. I like to go to the post office sometimes. And then some other days. I’ll go to the court of law, obviously, fallen papers, mail and paid ticket papers up now. It’s not I can’t I can’t wrap my mind around what it might be Bumpercar I Aloysius J. Pig 6:10 don’t know why you let them on the microphone. Obviously. It’s Halloween tomorrow, everybody. It’s Halloween. That’s why we’re freaking out. Because there’s a scary phone call that came from inside the house. It’s a it’s a thing that happens in Halloween type movies, scary movies. And people are like, Oh my god. Yep. There’s a phone call. Yep. And it’s coming from inside of the house. Yeah. Natty Bumpercar 6:31 So thank you, pig for getting us back on track and letting everyone know how serious his situation is. Because we’re all sitting in this room together. So we’re not calling each other. So that means that somebody else some random person is calling us and it’s right next to Halloween, which makes it extra scary because we don’t know who it is. And it could just be could be anyone in there if they’re already inside the house. Like why are they calling us? Why aren’t they just coming in? Or I don’t know what Rufus T. Rufus 7:02 movie? Am I telling him to start drinking? I don’t know we answer none. Aloysius J. Pig 7:05 Now you shouldn’t you know, whoever answers the phone is usually the one who goes so you should I don’t think you should. My phone is ringing Producer 7:14 our phones are ringing back same time. Even possible. who’s calling us from you? Natty Bumpercar 7:20 Guys, I want everyone to put your phone down right now. I’m I’m going to answer the phone. This is the bumper podcast. This is the I’m I’m this is my responsibility. And I’m going to answer the phone. Take a deep breath. Wish me luck. Hello. Oh, okay. I am so sorry. I am I know. I am so sorry. Yeah, pick. Pickle. Pickle come and get you I am Yes, I know. It. Okay. I everyone I know you call. Yeah, you were caught. Okay. This is a I’m a pig. Yeah. Monster was stuck in the bathroom. The door got jammed. He was stuck. We all evidently forgot that he was here. Record a Halloween episode with us. Oh, you could? Aloysius J. Pig 8:21 Yeah, well Oh, Natty Bumpercar 8:23 he is really mad. Aloysius J. Pig 8:25 I don’t blame us this whole time. Okay, I’m gonna go I’m gonna scoot over and see oh man, it is hilarious. Rufus T. Rufus 8:33 Now you might think it’s funny I’ll always just pick a loo but there could be some serious troubles here we could be under some some scrutiny and some some some some eyes people that we don’t want looking at us because we did just unintentionally or intentionally I do not know lock someone in the restroom for an extended period of time. And they claim that we did that on purpose and that we was playing I don’t know what but we could this is kind of funny. Natty Bumpercar 9:12 I am so incredibly sorry. We that bathroom door has been have it’s been a problem for a while and we had somebody come in and work on it. And now it’s actually worse than it was before we had come out Aloysius J. Pig 9:32 all right. There’s no need to threaten anybody was a mistake. It was an accident. All right. We apologize. We as he said we had somebody come and look at the door. We know that he was going to be stalking Rufus T. Rufus 9:49 you well he does have a good point that we did know he was here. We all let him in the house. So we probably checked on that might have been a good thing to do as a host Natty Bumpercar 10:00 Call I agree. And again, I’m terribly sorry. And I’m even more sorry because we’re out of time on the episode so we don’t even get a chance to talk to. Outro 10:20 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs in hearts See you soon. NonPro 11:39 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]

  • Bumperpodcast #387 – Got a Benefit Haircut

    Bumperpodcast #387 – Got a Benefit Haircut

    On today’s Bumperpodcast, Natty talks about getting his haircut, and spills some tea on some super-exciting news!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!!

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar broadcasts from a freezing cold car in a chaotic parking lot where cars drive over curbs and babies escape carts. Natty reflects on a successful charity livestream event where his family cut his long hair and beard with guidance from comedian friend Donna V, raising money for good causes. The episode takes an awkward turn when Natty's Zoom username 'Natty Bumpercar' confuses his coworkers, and gets exciting when he announces he's illustrating a children's book about a Christmas tree named Douglas. Between parking lot mayhem and major life updates, Natty reminds listeners why doing comedy for charity feels so rewarding.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I was on a work call yesterday and someone goes 'hey what's a natty bumper car' and I just didn't know what to do, just threw my computer out the window.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Out of the blue popcorn the dog zips into the room and tries to start eating the hair and it was calamity, it was just like get the dog away from the hair!”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I think we're gonna have a book illustrated by me natty bumper car what is that bananas did I just bury the lead?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #charity #haircut #workfromhome #children'sbooks #illustration #parkinglot #comedy #thanksgiving

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: yay bumper podcast hey it's me natty bumper car and i am hanging out doing the thing doing stuff life is difficult life is rough oh no i'm in a parking lot and i just watched a uh a car drive over a uh a curb it wasn't intentional i hope they're okay oh they seem to be all right you okay you okay bud worried about you don't you don't drive over the curb that's what it's there for it's to curb your progress as it were uh so yeah i am still in the car that's where i that's where i am that's where i be that's where i is mbs yeah and the fun thing is is that it's getting chilly out and so it's it's it's cold it's 37 degrees outside right now uh and that also means it's probably 37 degrees inside the car right now um pretty happy with that pretty thrilled that i'm essentially in a freezer and i have a jacket on and i got a little hat i've got little gloves i've got little shoesies and uh not helping no because here's the thing even if you kind of bundle up and you sit outside in the cold you're still gonna get cold yeah and i'm out here for a few hours and so um the cold the cold gets to me anyway here's another thing that gets to me we had a big week last week i don't know if you knew this but my hair and my beard were incredibly long like bananas long nine months or so i guess that it all grew out and uh curly hair came back i had a nice like big poof curls just locks locks and locks of lots wait lots and lots of locks locks of locks of locks of not no i don't know there's a lot of hair a lot of hair a lot of hair beard and uh so we set it up with a friend of mine who's a comedian her name is donna donna v she has a uh a hair haircut in place they call those salons and we we decided okay here's what we're gonna do we're gonna live stream my family cutting my hair while you donna is on the other side giving them advice and trying to uh to help them along so that they don't injure me and they didn't they didn't there's no injury it was it was it was wonderful and not just the show but we actually were able to raise money for uh for for charities that needed it which is amazing and we were talking about it when a lot of of the shows that we used to do were uh benefit shows and so like probably a couple a month at least and so that was for kitty cat rescues and just animal rescues in general and and families in need and clothing drives and food drives and and just all kinds of stuff and it always made doing comedy even more fun because not only am i getting to go out and bibble babble with my words but i'm also not just me obviously but everyone in the shows is is actually raising money and helping people and what i always noticed uh were the crowds who were there at benefit shows they were happy to be there because they were getting a night out and they were getting to laugh and they were able to help people and so it was like a trifecta of of good feeling good vibes it were so it was very nice to be able to organize and set this up with donna to uh you know be able to help be able to help help help help and um so it was fun because initially it was supposed to be my kids and they were going to be doing the hair cutting and they had scissors eep and they had buzzers and okay i guess i had a brush some sort of spray stuff they didn't really touch that stuff and we were going to do it outside and because i wanted to keep the mess to a minimum but it was so cold and so windy that we had to move it inside but that's fine because it was probably better for audio and lighting and all that jazz and we donna and i kind of started and we were setting the table and here's why we're here here's what we're doing and you know you know what we thought was going to play this raial or vape on and i thought oh this was a realult and we're gonna jump in and i don't know what's going on with the dealt today actually on the day of her ingains visit to the beet shed exciting elsius doing it he was trying to do it backwards and i was like no you have to do it like this and you know it was it was cute and it was fun and then eventually my wife stepped in and i think she was really sick of the uh of the hair and she took over the clippers and she she was not messing around she was just you know all gone and it was we had for a little bit we had a little mohawk type action which is which is fun uh and a big like we shaved the side of the beard so we had a big whatever the is it i don't know if it's a goatee type thing i don't know what this thing is in the front i had some uh so it looked amazing and then we got rid of the uh the the thing at the top the mohawk and and and just had like this column of hair above my head and it made me very happy and it i was actually i was hard pressed to uh to get rid of that i was very much thinking i was just like we we could stop here this this might be the new hair but uh no it was not meant to be so but we raised money and uh did a lot of sweeping in the house and the most horrific thing the most disgusting thing uh so there's all this hair on the floor and oliver was doing a great job of sweeping it up and into a nice pile and out of the blue popcorn the dog zips into the room oh and tries to start eating the hair and it was calamity it was just like get the dog away from the hair it's disgusting ah yeah dogs man they they just eat stuff oh oh i still get the shivers just thinking about it it's just oh anyway uh so yeah that was a big exciting thing this week and i finally i have shorter hair and i uh there's it's you know it's still pretty messy so i'm fine with that uh but it looks better so now i'm not terrified if uh if i if i'm on a work call and people are like we have to turn on the cameras which they never really do because nobody wants to see anybody uh i was on a work call yesterday and i logged in to like i had like a long hair that's just kinda partly because i was auration for him so he turned on one and we had like a long hair and he was like uh i need to do this and he actually did you know start them first and then they're like you know i'm sick of me so i defined me by reviewed my hair and i'm about to get the damn é job and i'm going to do some and and i guess it had retained my name and someone on the work call goes uh hey what's a natty bumper car and i just didn't know what to do just threw my computer out the window just like no and the most embarrassing part was that i had to go out and then gather up and get the computer and it had not hung up so yeah most of their discussion evidently had been about my reaction and throwing the computer and still what is a natty bumper car so that was unpleasant i think to say the least but that's okay you know you live you learn i um do have some other ferociously exciting news so i've been working on a book for like a year year and a half with a friend of mine another comedian his name is joe carney and he wrote a book about a little christmas tree and the little christmas tree is called douglas and like a douglas fur ah and it we finally he finally he finished writing it he got it edited and i drew the illustrations for it and that's all cool and exciting but the real exciting part is that just today i sent over i think it was like the third revisions so they had a couple of little edits like oh that thing is weird fix that thing whatever so i i sent it over and i i don't know when but before thanksgiving which is next week i think we're gonna have a book i think we're gonna have a book illustrated by me natty bumper car what is that bananas did i just bury the lead did i talk about a haircut for a long time and i could have been talking about this wow i don't want to jinx myself but it is it's very far along and so now we're just trying to figure out the right format to get because right now it's a digital book and then we're gonna turn it into uh i guess hard soft cover um and i think the guy who's doing the uploading was having some some problems problems as it were with the uh with that process but we're gonna figure it out because the goal is to to have it before thanksgiving so you better cross your fingers and wish me good luck because this is this is a milestone this is a oh somebody's lost there's a baby baby baby the baby in the cart go get the baby get the baby got him well there's a lot of excitement in this parking lot guys normally the parking lot that i sit in is uh boring nothing exciting happening but this parking lot got people driving over curbs you got loose babies going everywhere yeah um so anyway i'll keep you posted um douglas the book doing benefit shows and i think we're gonna do more benefit shows and it's just there's a lot going on i told you did you even believe me you should i'm doing this on this new crazy microphone and i have to admit there's a weird delay from when i talk and when i hear it so i hope it comes out okay and i hope you come out okay and i hope that you're safe and i hope that you're awesome and i know that you are because you are mine bumper podcast

    Producer: this has been a non-productive media presentation executive producer frank hablaui this program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a creative commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it for more information visit non-productive.com

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  • Bumperpodcast #276 – Ruggy

    Bumperpodcast #276 – Ruggy

    Bumpercar lays out the trials and tribulations of Ruggy are laid out to the court of public opinion.

    Did you know Ruggy? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! We’re trying to stay positive here, people!

    About This Episode

    In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares a relatable parenting saga about his son Emerson and a beloved rug named Ruggy. After accidentally tracking dog poop onto the boys' bedroom rug, Natty faces days of complaints from Emerson about the soiled carpet. When Natty finally removes the rug, Emerson has an emotional meltdown over losing Ruggy, despite having complained about it for nearly a week. The situation escalates into a 15-minute parenting negotiation involving options, signatures, and the threat of Ruggy going to the curb forever. Natty also reflects on the challenge of telling each child he loves them equally, and reveals the incident may have been triggered by filming a Hershey chocolate eating challenge for their YouTube channel.

    Memorable Quotes

    “He's given the rug a name, the rug is named Ruggy, which I've never heard this rug have a name before.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I love you more than any Emerson in the whole entire world. That's how I have to get around that, because if I say I love you more than anything, then he immediately takes that as an affront against his brother.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You have two options: rug in the basement, rug gets clean this weekend, happy rug, happy life. Or if you complain about said rug, Ruggy is gonna go away forever.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #parenting #familylife #kids #dogs #cleaning #humor #podcasting #brothers

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh well if it isn't the bumper podcast hey it's me natty bumper car and it is a good day you know why because i'm here and i'm talking to you and that's all i want to do really if i could if i had my druthers if uh if the money truck pulled up here to headquarters uh and said hey bumps guess what you can do with anything you want you know what i would be doing boom this talking to you probably other stuff too i'm not gonna lie i have to eat all right leave me alone for just a few minutes i've got tea upstairs it's waiting for me no uh how's how are you i've missed you since last week uh last week we had a special guest that was uh emerson he did a great job like afterwards i was just like that was the best because you actually there was give and take like you talked to me you did little funny bits his little whisper bit i was i loved it loved it so much so what that tells me is i am grooming the next generation of podcasters i apologize for that uh that is that is going to be on me it's my fault i uh speaking of him here's a crazy thing that happened uh his his in in in the boy's room there's a rug it's a white rug it's got circles on it uh they're kind of uh uh a really low uh not tone but color uh not not pastel quite but it's almost like they put colors like they're circles like it's like blue and yellow uh red and purple whatever and then they and then they like put the transparency on so they're there but they're kind of not there but they're it's just a nice simple rug uh and evidently someone uh my wife this is my wife she said someone was outside and tracked in what i can only assume is dog poop and there were two people in the room and they were like oh my god they're like oh my god they're like oh my god they're like oh my god they're like oh my god they're in the room when she had that conversation and she was looking directly at one of them and that one was me so she's under the assumption that i went out into the yard and uh put i think it's like six little spots of of dog poo on the kid's rug which i didn't mean to do and i was like fine i'll clean it i just hadn't had a chance emerson uh discovered the uh the soiled rug on i mean like seven days ago eight days ago and he's been freaking out ever since every single night get me away from this rug this rug's got dog poop i can't be on this rug i don't want to be near this rug why is there why is this in my room this is horrible this is disgusting and he would like make uh he would walk around like he would have to shimmy against the wall to go around and then in the morning he would scream somebody has to come get me out of this bed because i can't walk across the road and it was just horrible right every single night and every single day it was the saga of the uh of the rug so finally two nights ago uh i think i was putting him to bed no two nights i don't know who was i can't remember but i i i got infuriated i got mad and i said fine and i i balled up the rug which is tough to do because it's like an eight by ten rug but i balled it up and i took it out of the room and he was just like what what what are you and he starts like in that way that kids get when they're like they can't even process what is happening and i threw the rug into uh in the spare bedroom and uh and he was just like what would you do with my rug rug and then he screams ruggy he's given the rug a name the rug is named ruggy which i have i've never heard this rug have a name before and i was just like ruggy and he's just like why did you take ruggy away and i was just like you you're the reason i took ruggy away why i would never and i was just like you've complained about the rug for six at this point it was and for six days straight you have complained about the rug being in your room you have screamed at the rug because it has it is dirty you you you have been anguishing over this rug being in your room and so i have now removed the rug from the equation i have taken the rug out of your room what are you gonna do with it when is it gonna come back i miss ruggy i was just like buddy i am going to vacuum the rug and then i am going to use the uh wet the uh called the the rug vac uh shampooer whatever we have it's one of these things you put water in you put shampoo in you shampoo the rug that's what we have why because we have a dog and what does the dog do he makes horrible messes so what do we have to do shampoo the rugs plus they need them anyway because the house smells terrible let's be honest if you've ever been here i'm sorry the house smells bad it's not that i don't clean all the time every day it's just that the dog smells really bad and two little boys smell there's a lot of smells happening in his house so he uh he was just like you're gonna clean it tonight and i was just like no i'm gonna clean it on saturday saturday that'll take for a long time that's forever from now and i was just like that's in two days two days and he was like well what am i supposed to do if i fall out of my bed and i don't have ruggy to roll around on and i was just like i don't i think you're making problems up at this point i think that you're inventing problems at this point and he was just like like still he was freaking out this is a solid 15 minute freak out to the point where i said okay i will bring the rug back into your room i will put the rug back down so that ruggy is here and he was like okay and i was like however this is my big however however if you complain about ruggy if i hear you say one thing about ruggy being dirty ruggy is going to go to the curb and he's like to the trash and i was just like to the trash my wife is looking at me like what are you doing and i was just like no he has two options he can either i can put it in the basement and clean it this weekend which is in two days or if i bring it back and he loses his mind again it's gone because i just can't i reached the point as a parent where i just couldn't deal with it anymore it was too much he didn't get it all he heard was the rug is in the trash the rug is gone the rug is in the garbage the rug is done and i was just like no so i ran downstairs got a piece of paper got a pen drew like almost like a comic strip i was just like here's step one ruggy's in your room you're happy here's step two ruggy gets dirty you're freaking out here's step three takes the rug away now you have two options and i drew arrows from the options option one then i just laid everything out again rug in the basement rug gets clean this weekend happy rug happy rug happy life or whatever it is and option two and i made sure i had him sign off on option one as in do you understand what option one is sign here yes okay perfect we can now move on to option two option two if daddy brings the rug back into your room the rug which is still dirty i will still clean it this weekend however if you complain about said rug in quotes ruggy then ruggy is gonna go away forever it was bad parenting on my part i think uh because again all he focused on was ruggy's going away ruggy's gone ruggy's out of his life i have effectively taken ruggy away from him and he was just like you're taking ruggy away from me because you hate me and i was just like i love you more than anything and then he goes more than ollie and i was just like i can't play that game right now i love you're my favorite emerson in the whole entire world on the whole planet i love you more than any emerson ever that's how i have to get around that because if i say i love you more than anything then he just immediately he has to take that as an affront against his brother i love you more than anything more than him no like come on i love you guys equally well then you don't love me more than anything ah well then i love you more than any emerson how about that at which point ollie goes but what about me and i'm like well i love you more than any oliver ever and ever in the whole world in the whole planet more than any oliver so basically i got him calmed down ruggy was still in the other room and he woke up in the morning like nothing had ever happened nothing ruggy's in the basement right now awaiting his cleaning which will happen now tomorrow morning and then he'll go back in the room he'll be bright fresh ready for a new day a brand new ruggy for a brand new year uh and my wife was like why did this happen and i was just like i don't know and then we looked back on the events of the evening and for our youtube channel which is still happening we all we do is film stuff for it i have to film it for you i'm still learning how to edit uh we had done the hershey challenge what is that that's where you eat as much chocolate as you can in two minutes so maybe that's what happened huh

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  • Bumperpodcast #172: Inconsolable!

    Bumperpodcast #172: Inconsolable!

    Bumpercar is beyond excited about something – but – doesn’t want to spill the beans … Because then – the beans might spoil – and – that would make him inconsolable.

    Have you ever been inconsolable? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Spoilt beans are a nightmare!

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 172, host Natty Bumpercar is bursting with excitement about something mysterious he can't reveal for fear of jinxing it. Rather than spilling the beans, Natty takes listeners on a delightful tangent about inside jokes and the power of shared laughter. He explores the magic of those fleeting moments when you lock eyes with someone across a room and an inside joke sends you into uncontrollable fits of laughter. Along the way, Natty accidentally coins new phrases like "bumper my car" and redefines "inconsolable" to describe unstoppable laughter. It's a characteristically whimsical solo episode full of Natty's signature rambling charm.

    Memorable Quotes

    “We've come up with a new phrase ladies and gentlemen hashtag bumper my car and then it's just something it's an inside joke that we've got.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Inside jokes are the best kinds of jokes I think because when you're in a room and you look across and your eyes hit boom and you know and you can't control yourself you're laughing uncontrollably.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I think that's what we're gonna call inconsolable laughter, like when you're laughing so hard I'm inconsolable don't try to get me to stop laughing.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #insidejokes #laughter #friendship #excitement #anticipation #humor #wordplay

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: can i even tell you bumper podcast how excited i am today i don't think i can i don't think i can express it in words i don't think i can express it in pictures if i had a skywriter i don't think that that would do it what i'm saying is i'm beyond excited and i have reasons but i can't divulge them because if i do it's gonna jinx everything and then it's all gonna fall apart and then i'm gonna be all sad and and i'm and you guys will be like hey what happened to that thing that you're all excited about like i don't want to talk about it anymore because it didn't happen because probably because i told you about it and i shouldn't have ever opened my mouth and i did and now it didn't happen and you're gonna be like whoa whoa whoa whoa bumper bumper bumper mccarr you that's not my name bumper mccarr is is not my name uh i think that's that's a sentence uh did you put a bumper on my car it's part of a sentence i guess you can't just say bumper mccarr i guess you could question mark bumper my car question mark it doesn't really mean anything but it does sound like you said something so that's okay we've come up with a new phrase ladies and gentlemen hashtag bumper my car and then it's just something it's an inside joke that we've got it's uh probably not gonna trend probably not gonna go viral what's that viral i knew that uh but it's so fun inside jokes are the best kinds of jokes i think um because when you're in a room like and you have an inside joke with someone who's across the room and then something happens that just happens to you know uh set you up and you're like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm that joke off and you look across the room and even you don't even have to lock eyes but just for that fleeting second your eyes hit boom and you know and you can't control yourself you're laughing uncontrollably i don't know if you can be inconsolable in laughter but that's how you are you can't stop laughing and then let's say you you you just you start to laugh like you it starts if you look over again and like let's say that that half second look glance becomes like a full three quarters a full second you're done for you're you're in the aisles uh rolling around holding your stomach because you can't breathe like that's how much you're laughing and um i think that's what we're gonna call inconsolable laughter so we've come up with that too like when you're laughing so i'm like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be laughing so hard i'm inconsolable don't try to get me to stop laughing i'm inconsolable does that ever do you guys feel like that the bumper podcast ever make you inconsolable like you know on a monday when you're like i miss my bumper podcast i'm inconsolable

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