Tag: holidays

Bumperpodcast #465 – Season 3 – Tomato Soup Can

Natty Bumpercar discusses his frequent distractions, likening himself to a squirrel chasing shiny objects. Rufus T. Rufus humorously corrects him and shares nostalgic stories about using tomato soup cans, contrasting with modern conveniences. The producer mentions technical issues with new equipment. They debate the timing of holiday-themed episodes, with Rufus criticizing early Christmas displays. Natty suggests making their Thanksgiving episode late, mimicking stores’ early holiday promotions. The conversation meanders into a humorous tale about a classmate named Artie Doyle, who aspired to be an author, and the absurdity of his nickname “Tomato Soup Can.”

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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About This Episode

In episode 465 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar admits he's been distracted again, leading to another delayed episode. Aloysious J. Pig calls out Natty for trying to do a Thanksgiving episode a week after the holiday, just like their belated Halloween episode. Meanwhile, Rufus T. Rufus launches into an increasingly absurd story about tomato soup cans from "back in the day," claiming they contained just one whole tomato and required opening with a goat's horn. The rambling tale somehow connects to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, whom Rufus claims to have known as "Artie Tomato Soup Can" in school. Producer struggles with the new podcasting equipment while the characters debate holiday timing and question whether any of Rufus's stories are remotely based in reality.

Memorable Quotes

“What is the bumper podcast about? It's about me being distracted, it's about me forgetting I have a podcast, it's about me seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“We're gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday. It's the opposite of stores when you go in and it's November and they got July 4th stuff out.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“We would take a can, tomato soup, because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time. We would use the goat and his horn and pop that can of soup open.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #distraction #thanksgiving #halloween #nostalgia #tomatosoup #storytelling #holidays #podcasting

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Robot

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so i've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often i think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the bumper podcast about and i say it's about me being distracted it's about me forgetting i have a podcast it's about me uh seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there and and they all require me to uh you know at least give them some of my attention which then does take away from everything else in my life and and that's fine right that's how life it's

Aloysious J. Pig: how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro bro hey it's me aloysius jpeg uh you're not a squirrel okay you're like a uh i'm gonna guess middle age probably past middle age uh person who uh talks into a microphone and uh it's a squirrel thing you know like let the squirrels be the squirrels let you do you sorry my voice is a little off today i might i might have caught a cold or something i noticed that um hey everyone it's

Producer: me i'm producer uh so i think part of the problem this week is it's my fault because we have this really fancy um do that uh technical term that we have on the board we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has um uh slide slidey do's you know the slidey do's and um a screen and uh well i keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on uh not not working not working at all

Aloysious J. Pig: now wouldn't you hear everybody this is uh myself rufus to rufus aloysius i think whatever you got i might have caught as well oh that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at i'm sweating all the time it's too hot i wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so uh you said that this new system it's got some slidey do's now and i told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey do's and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when i was originally doing podcasts back in the day uh i don't you know i don't i know you youngins don't like to hear when i say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we were in podcast what we would do is we would we would uh we would take a can uh tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time uh chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and and we would eat it you know for supper uh one can per family per week and uh we would save up our cans and uh clean them out all good uh and here's the thing when i when i was when i was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you can just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of riley is what we're living we actually had to take a a rock or maybe a a knife sometimes we could take if if if the goat would let us we take the the goat and we'd use his his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open pop like that and then but the edges it'd be very jagged right so we couldn't use them for our projects until you're on okay sorry you're on a real roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what you what's going on and i do want to come back i want to circle back i want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the the goat all these things sounds very interesting i'm sure it's gonna really draw in the uh the listenership but uh let's focus back over here real quick on on on natty yeah what what has been so distracting to you that you uh have have uh yet again

Natty Bumpercar: forgotten what you're supposed to be doing i um well i i also i i want to i think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know uh i was thinking about it and you know we had i think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the uh we should make this our thanksgiving episode and no uh producer i don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but i um

Aloysious J. Pig: producer don't answer that so listen up natty the the halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after halloween and now we are again a week after thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know because in a way i was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh i kind of had fun on halloween i kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's november and they got july 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's i don't want to say what's wrong with the world today because there's a couple of things but i think one of the things is putting out christmas stuff um on february okay that's way it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait i was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in november oh well i i should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in april in may right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and the it's all it's all messed up yeah now now you're talking about it start living in the past you know we just was kind of back in my day uh so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it wasn't the way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't i still had the green thing on top right the core i guess it's called they say it says on the can it says uh uh there's tomato soup ready to make or something like i forgot what it was but it was you know right now they used to have these pre-planned meals people get on these uh plans and then and then the box will come over to the house and i guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like uh almost like uh what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that

Producer: we had yeah yeah hold on rufus so i think we're going to we're trying to this year's again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but i think we're still trying to fuck but i think we should oh okay no we're gonna stick with the soup yeah perfect perfect perfect

Natty Bumpercar: okay my bad i'm sorry no not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getting off the soup but now the soup has become a tomato in a can um so the precursor to these uh home delivered homemade meals or whatever they're called so wait so rufus tomato got it in a can one tomato any specific kind of tomato did it have like uh like a season packet like anything like that you know like sometimes when you get ramen soup it'll have like the the flavorings are actually there in a packet uh in in the can in the well it's like wrapping cellophane or whatever no um no no was that was that in there no no it was it was nothing

Aloysious J. Pig: in the can except for the for the tomato right and here's the funniest thing that we that was like a philosophical question we always had y'all y'all heard about the chicken and the egg i assume right which came first nobody cares but what we want in school we were trying to figure out is how did that tomato get into that can that's okay you're following me that's what you were trying to figure out sorry natty uh i mean the the tomato was put into the can before the can was closed and then the can was closed i mean that's how much how much time we spent in school trying to figure out this big mystery out uh uh oh sir off the conan doyle i am assuming you guys were not what you just made a

Natty Bumpercar: okay uh for anyone who doesn't know that's a weird pull aloysius i didn't know that you sir arthur wait sir r arthur arthur that's a hard word to say sir arthur author author arthur wait no i can't do it sir conan doyle sir

Aloysious J. Pig: jc doyle what is that so his his name so you can cut off the sir right because when i when i when i grew up with him his name was arty so a r t i don't know a r t y r t i e arty arty doyle uh he you know before he got all fancy and hoity-toity but he he stood up one day in class and it was it was not the day that we were discussing the tomato in the can but i remember arty he said you know one day when i grow up when i grows up that's what he said when i grows up because that's how we talked back then we added s's on things you know like we say like look at all those sheeps which we didn't have to do because it's just one sheep anyway arty stood up one day in front of the whole class and he said listen up y'all my name's arty doyle when i grow up i'm gonna be an author and i remember somebody in the back classroom they yelled out you're gonna call yourself arthur and he got so flustered so so red in the face that believe now it comes back oh everything comes back somebody said hey look at old uh look at old arty tomato soup can red in the face that stuck with him his whole life arty tomato here he comes here comes arty tomato soup can oh man the way i look back i can't wait to see him at the reunion no arty it's just tomato soup can whatever happened to him anyway he's you're talking about him over there it is anything that you say based in any kind of reality that you have ever talked about real in any form, in any fashion, in any way? You're telling us that you went to school with Arthur Conan Doyle, who was a very famous Arthur. Wait, now I messed it up too. Arthur. Arthur was an author. Okay. Yeah, got it. You went to school with Artie Doyle. Somebody named Artie Doyle. I can give you that. That part I can accept. But now you're telling me that he stood up, this Artie Doyle, in front of the class, completely separated from the fact that there's a famous Arthur who made up Sherlock Holmes, and he said that he was going to be an Arthur? No. Yeah, it's Artie Tomato Soup Can Head Feast. I forgot. Artie Tomato Coop Sam Mace Place. I got confused.

Robot: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Unknown: Bye.

December 2, 2025
Bumperpodcast #464 – Season 3 – Halloween

The Bumperpodcast episode revolves around the hosts’ reflections on missing Halloween due to busy schedules and the subsequent confusion about the current date. Natty Bumpercar expresses his love for Halloween, while Aloysius J Pig and Rufus T. Rufus discuss the logistics of returning Halloween decorations and candy. They reminisce about a group costume theme and the challenges of dealing with return policies. The discussion also touches on the transient nature of seasonal stores and the idea for a podcast exploring the history and disappearance of such stores.

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Podcast: Download | Embed
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About This Episode

In Bumperpodcast episode 464, Natty Bumpercar discovers he's completely missed Halloween after getting too caught up in organizing a comedy festival. Rufus T. Rufus reveals that while Natty was busy, the gang went to a Halloween party as a "country breakfast" costume group—with Rufus as a biscuit, Aloysious as orange juice, and someone as eggs and bacon. They even won the costume contest! Now Natty is left with a room full of Halloween decorations, bobbing-for-apples equipment, and no way to return them since the pop-up Halloween store has mysteriously vanished. The episode features hilarious discussions about the ephemeral nature of seasonal Halloween stores, the stress of return desk interactions, and GPS robots with attitudes. Producer suggests they move on to planning the next holiday: Thanksgiving.

Memorable Quotes

“I was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween. I've never been gravy. I've never been a condiment.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“We did a group costume. I was eggs and bacon and Aloysious was orange juice… you were supposed to be gravy but you never showed up to the party.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“I went back to the Halloween store and it was gone. Like tumbleweeds in the store. Gone. They just appear out of night.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #halloween #holidays #costumes #timemanagement #shopping #seasonalstores #comedyfestival #thanksgiving

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: well happy halloween it is halloween finally man my favorite holiday of the year bar none i i love everything about it i love the candy i love going out and finding pumpkins and and carving up the pumpkins and turning them into jack-o'-lanterns and and what what how what really how did oh come on hold on sorry hold on natty it's uh actually almost middle of november at this point i i know i yeah i know i know i understand i like halloween a lot too but it was weeks ago it was like a long time ago i don't know if you fell asleep i don't know what happened i know you've been really busy because you're always telling everybody just how busy you are but uh yeah i hope i got the receipts for all these costumes and i'm looking around the room here we got uh uh decorations we got is that a bobbin for apples we got we got to return all this stuff we can't sell if we ain't having a uh what is a halloween episode right now then what am i what why did i go to the store and and purchase all this yeah how is it how is it middle of november we should probably could have somewhere in here have any kind of indication as to what day it is i yeah no i see the calendar on the wall over there that's from 1987 so that that's not helping me right now okay that doesn't do anything good at all man two weeks ago i completely missed everything i missed halloween

Rufus T. Rufus: yes yes it was a long time ago i um we actually we did a group costume right and um i was um it was i was eggs and bacon and aloesius was um orange juice it was and then uh the rufus what were you a scone or an oh no yes you were a biscuit that's right that's right and so we were like a we called ourselves a country breakfast you were supposed to be gravy but you you never showed up to the party and so we we missed it and it's yeah but we we it was a lot of fun yeah i think that's right well we can't do a halloween episode now okay we gotta move on to the future there's a lot of other holidays that are coming up that we need to acknowledge and represent and you know do everything for so uh yeah we let's just we have a lot of episodes left so let's just put the halloween on the shelf and sorry i hurt my back there for a second uh and then we can uh move on to maybe the types of giving or something we can invite turkey to come

Natty Bumpercar: and he loves to talk on the podcasts and you hit some story and everything right seven an entire holiday i don't even care that i missed two weeks of life but i did i missed i missed i missed halloween what have i been so busy doing what why have i completely managed to miss and ignore and miss not really ignore but i missed halloween how did that even happen somebody got it in the head that somebody had to have a comedy festival they were like oh look at me out of nowhere i'm just gonna invent it inventicate invent invent them uh invent just invent i think a comedy festival and and and you did that and now it's it's you know coming up really soon and it might have already happened i don't even know because i have completely removed myself from that situation and uh yeah maybe you started to miss a lot of things in life because you're doing such a giant ridiculous thing it's like you know uh hey wait you guys went and played uh putt-putt mini golf without me what where was i you were building a rocket ship you know it's like you got bigger things on your plate right now and we didn't want to bother you so you missed country breakfast halloween kind of amazing won the costume contest that's right everybody high five in the air high five there you go never won it i've never even been like in the rankings of a costume contest and i i was i was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween i've never been gravy i've never been a condiment i've just been you know it's whatever i can find but rufus i got i got so wait we have all this stuff around all these like decorations and all this can't like can you i guess if it's if we've missed it and if we're not going to do halloween for this episode if we're going to just move on to something completely different what um can we return the stuff it's like do you have all the stuff is that something that can you yeah i do i do have receipts um however we got

Rufus T. Rufus: everything you know when there's a uh a building it was maybe a business and maybe it was just like um you know uh just like a lean through with some sticks and then people aren't there anymore and then the second you blink and it's um september and then all of a sudden it's a halloween store you know it's like there was a hospital over there oh my goodness the hospital close the halloween store like that you know hey remember when we used to go to the park and there was that fun little ice cream place down the corner that's a halloween store we went to one of those right but the thing is once you go to the halloween store you buy the things if you ever try to go

Natty Bumpercar: i was wondering about that because i put it up in my maps on my telephone here and i said uh halloween store and it was trying to send me to sacramento that's far away and i said uh halloween store uh close to me and it didn't understand what that so i said uh halloween store near my location and then the phone had had the gall the guff to say to me uh would you like me to use your current location i said well of course i do i said i what i said was i was looking near my local of course i want you to use my current location i'm not gonna just inventify some place that i'm gonna be in the next hour and 37 minutes like i want to know right now if i wanted to know then then i would i would be asking you then little little map little little map robot i don't even know what his name is but he needs he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude i don't know if you have been driving around with this this little robot and he's always like turn left and i'm like i'm in the right lane i can't turn left right now little robot and he's like you missed just you missed your chance mister your your your new nickname is mr chance because you missed your chance and now you're gonna recalculate why are we still using 2020 whatever this is using the term recalculate you ain't recalculating nothing you just going back into the map and and fixing my flub why don't you call it uh flub refixing or something like that all right because now i'm getting heated i'm getting angry anyway i tried to go back to that halloween store the one where i bought all this stuff because i i forgot i forgot to get the little wax uh vampire teeth that we were gonna have we're gonna have a little game and then i went back it was gone like tumbleweeds in the store gone i think that maybe not this podcast clearly because we can't we can't do this but some podcast needs to do some research do a deep dive maybe one season is where do all these stores go and then where do they come from you know they just appear out of night it's like oh empty shopping center it's a halloween store yeah and then uh whenever i don't know the strike of midnight on november you know i don't know the day because i don't know if they're open like a day after i don't know but where do all these things go where do the employees go are they sucked back down into like some hole in the ground or do they go to like a warehouse in caucasus something like that that is new jersey uh that sounds like a terrible podcast it sounds like it would be maybe one maybe one episode it would couldn't just consist i guess you could pad it out a little bit you know do the when i was growing up we always read a lot of stories and heard a lot of stories and heard a lot of tales about stuff you know and then like you know when i was you could do the everybody meet everybody in town and how they could talk about when i was here this was a lot of stories and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry skippers store we used to go to skippers all the time whatever it is and then uh you know and then like and then and you know like the first episode is just like the build-up to what the town used to be and you know what now i'm seeing it you can make an entire season out of this that's fine you know and then the halloween store came but no one knew you know it's okay i'm gonna give it that but anyway so uh rufus did you went back to get the wax teeth but they weren't there i think it's my understanding that we do have receipts for a lot of this stuff i don't does anybody who's if we're not going to do a halloween episode who's going to be in charge of of returning all i think as long as you understand it's not going to be me because i'm not comfortable uh going to the return desk because i just feel like i'm being judged you know they've got like several different lines but the lines aren't aren't labeled as anything and so you you get in the wrong line and sometimes maybe there's other people in the lines and you go hey you try to clean up buddy up buddy system hey what are you in here for you know what what are you in for and they're like i have an online order to pick up and you're like oh oh oh i'm trying to return something do you know do you know if it matters if i'm standing and they're like i don't i can't say anything i don't want to get in trouble all right i don't want to lose my spot in line because i'm trying to explain to you something that i don't even know the answer to okay so there's that kind of stress then you get to the front of the line and it doesn't even matter if there's nobody else there they'll say what do you want and you say i have a return and they say you're in the wrong line and you look around there's no other lines there's there's places for lines and they just stare at you until you move out this line you go to that line you walk through the thing and then bing bang boom you're up at the front but look at that somehow there's a it's just 16 people in the line where you just were and now you're back in the back of the line and you're in the front of the back of the back and if you ever even make it to the front you know if you're ever lucky enough to make it to the front then they uh why you know they real they really why are you here huh you know and you're like i gotta return all this stuff okay got a receipt i actually don't have a receipt well do you have an account with us i don't know let's try this phone number that didn't work perfect um what do i have the credit card that i used i don't know what credit card i used i don't know let's try this one that didn't work perfect yeah i've got other credit card you know it's just this ordeal to the point where i just keep the stuff okay then i put it all in the yard sale next year and then it's someone else's problem or gift or whatever you will have i do like to keep receipts because those are legally binding uh documents and uh legally binding uh documents that we got legally binding right and so i keep a record of them i keep boxes of them and then i store the box i put the dates on the box and so i got all these receipts i got all these records but you know i i twisted my toe the other day so i can't i'm not as mobile as i once was so i will uh i will have to i can find the the the the paper trail but i'm gonna have to defer to someone else and i assume aloysius if you ain't going to go in then uh i guess it's all right maybe it's up to you natty maybe oh maybe you producer seems like something you might enjoy going to talking to

Rufus T. Rufus: people and whatnot i'm actually very busy you know uh we're getting ready for the next holiday show's a big holiday coming up uh thanksgiving and everything so yeah i'm gonna give this one over to pass the buck to you natty you can take care of it you're the one who slept through

Natty Bumpercar: halloween anyway right wait no i will not accept the nickname is gravy that is a terrible nickname and that is not fair and i won't take it but i will take the stuff back because we do yeah we do gravy

Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for the money listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

November 11, 2025
Bumperpodcast #407 – Season 2 – Mystery

Natty is thrilled to be in the studio — and is even more thrilled when a couple of his old pals show up!

The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar.

And – and – and — Natty Bumpercar is now an Ambassador for the Improv channel on Vurbl!! Here is a link to that page: https://vurbl.com/browse/comedy/improv/ go hang out — it’ll be fun!!

Another story about saving baby animals!

A feel good story!

Previous episode!

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Natty Bumpercar 0:03
Well, well. Well, well, well, if it isn’t the bumper broadcast. There’s sirens outside. They’re coming to get me. For what? For not recording a podcast the last couple of weeks I’ve been busy. The holiday season, it’s holiday season it cetera, et cetera.

Rufus T. Rufus 0:28
Is that just gonna? Are you just gonna? You seem like you’re in good spirits, Natalie, but well, you know, what is holiday season? Sorry. It’s already Yeah, I

Natty Bumpercar 0:41
understand. No, Rufus. It’s I’m just happy to be here. And I’m thrilled. And I’m in the bumper barn. And you know what, we’ve made a lot of progress. I would say that we are about six 70% Done with the insulation, which means I can be in here. Well, it’s really I can be in here because it’s like 62 degrees, which in December is weird and scary. And but we’re just gonna roll with it and try to make lemons out of lemonade. Well, that’s not something we can do. Is that so? Is it. A big Do we have a recipe to turn lemons into lemonade? Lemonade? Lemonade in the lemon?

Producer 1:24
No, I don’t I don’t we she’s not here yet for these shots, right? But I don’t know if you need recipe bursting here in the lab where we make the bumper pad case. Okay, here and get quieter. Yep, sorry. I’m not really entirely sure if we have those.

Natty Bumpercar 1:40
You know what, you’re probably right. I usually they’re probably in the kitchen or maybe in the library, but it makes sense that they are not here in the studio because we don’t cook here. So why would we need

Peanut Lou 1:52
to hire me Pina loo? I haven’t been on the podcast. Yo. Yeah, I forgot what I’m supposed to do here. Anybody please tell me what I’m supposed to do on the

Natty Bumpercar 2:05
piano below. knows what’s going on kitty cat man

Spot Elliot 2:16
is going on. It’s me.

Natty Bumpercar 2:22
Yeah, what’s going on? For anyone who doesn’t know because they have not been on the show in a long time. Spot Elliot and peanut Lou. Were cats that I rescued a long time ago and they’re best friends. And they’re so sweet. And I love them to pieces.

Peanut Lou 2:39
So so so so so buttons we I keep wanting to find who I see you.

Rufus T. Rufus 2:49
You know it? I love talking to new people who has it? Who is it? I’m so excited. Why are you why are you so you’re very amped on this episode. Now there were two almost three minutes in it if your energy is F is too much if I’m to be honest, let’s Can we just tamp it down a little bit fine.

Producer 3:06
I was going to say something but you know cuz I’m producing the whole show. So my name is on the credit in so yeah, this it really impacts me if you are acting the little looky loo and you’re going out and people are like our producers on that chair. I don’t know if I want to hire him. And I’m like, oh, please hire me because just don’t ignore the horse. If you could just focus on the engineering but the producing

Unknown Speaker 3:32
anyway, so he special guest Okay, hold on. Here we go.

Santa 3:37
Well, Lou, it’s wonderful to see. I’m so happy to be here on this. DREW. Is everyone been nice to show I’ve been a bit naughty.

Rufus T. Rufus 3:51
I’d like to know you’re saying I don’t like you. And it’s nice to be here. Obviously everyone loves it when Santa Claus comes into town. However, you can’t just come in and immediately start asking people if they have been naughty or they have been nice it’s it’s they have the rights you understand as citizens of the United States of America. And so for you to start implying and infer and that maybe they haven’t been on the ice is a little bit too much

Santa 4:21
Now Rufus ervice it’s wonderful for you to be here. First and foremost, I have a couple of issues or a couple of bones to pick with you if you if you don’t mind. I have been keeping my eye on everyone but you in particular have have certainly caught my eye over the course of a year. What

Natty Bumpercar 4:44
did you do? What did you do? What did you do? Why are you sad? Oh, you’re in trouble. Oh,

Rufus T. Rufus 4:53
no, I will not have the spotlight of injustice turned upon me. As the light is so bright that when you shine it upon me, you will see that I have done nothing incorrect. Nothing, introspect, nothing that you would ever reject. I say to you that I’ve been wonderful this year, everybody knows that you can look at my Yelp reviews, up to a 3.5 star rating. That’s three and a half out of five. So I feel like this year I’ve really turned things around.

Santa 5:31
Of course, you’ve turned things around reviews, but it’s not all about the star ratings and star reviews you understand. It’s about did you help anyone? Were you kind to anyone? Did you give of yourself? Did you did you go out of your way to try to make someone feel better? Did you notice that someone was down and think to yourself, I couldn’t pick them up? I can help them out. Right? Did you do any of these?

Producer 6:02
I didn’t know that this one time that I was in the hallway. And I was working on some wiring systems and Rufus was trying to get through and he did he picked me Oh, okay, so he picked you up. So that’s what you’re talking about? Yes. But then he just moved me to design I don’t know if he’s the type of peeking you’re talking about you actually physically oh boy picked up and kind of he was really tossed to me didn’t really display down he could have just very busy lifted me and then we’re talking about

Santa 6:40
No No, obviously this is not the type of pick me up that we’re talking about when talking about emotionally picking people up when they’re down in despair when they’re in the dumps when they’re sad. This however, this feels like borderline assault if I’m to be completely honest, Rufus. For the moment I feel like you’re not on the nice list. You’re not on any list at all. You’re kind of in between lists if you will. I know most people don’t even realize that but I do have those the naughty list and there’s a nice list but there’s also kind of this in between list that will that we’re gonna sit you upon right now you’re on. You’re on the fence as it were.

Unknown Speaker 7:24
So I’m noticing something kind of strange. Yeah, I’m dying Santa Claus. Santa Wilbur like Well, first

Natty Bumpercar 7:31
off, I noticed that too. Peanut Lou and I it’s kind of strange. Because every time Santa comes in the room, Rufus leaves the room and every time Rufus is in the rooms, waiting, every time Sam is in the room, Rufus leaves the room and every time Rufus is in the room, Santa leaves. Yeah, you guys aren’t ever in the room at the same time right now. No roof is it’s just you what’s going

Rufus T. Rufus 7:55
on? You’re being a bit conspiratorial, and there’s nothing to see. I think you know, Sam is obviously a very busy man. I’m a very busy man myself. We’re in the time of year right now. People need lawyers more than they need. I don’t know fishing the sea or whatever that the phrase is. People need lawyers more than they need a honey bee now that just rhymed. It didn’t make any more sense. I did it people need lawyers more than wool socks. I use the phrase good No, you’re usually better off usually I am. But yeah, no, I’m not.

Natty Bumpercar 8:34
Are you a little You seem like you’re a little bit flustered. Maybe a little bit freaked out is that is what’s going on.

Santa 8:41
Now. Rufus has had to leave the room as he had a lot of things. He had other engagements to take care of. But now I sent him here to talk to everybody. Now, Rufus, I feel like again, you’re on the fence, but I know that you can probably pull it all together. I believe in you and you should also believe in yourself.

Aloysius J. Pig 9:03
Hi, everybody. It’s me Aloysius. JPEGs really weird energy in the room right now. I Santa’s I guess is here. Wow. Spawn le and Vina Lu What’s up kids? You guy What are you doing? Are you bad seniors so long. We’re

Spot Elliot 9:21
just hanging out here. So I used to do I do talk he does sing now what’s right and you give me honest, your voice seems to be a lot deeper.

Peanut Lou 9:32
Yes. He’s got some sort of a Trojan going on how it’s happening. Really? Yeah, he’s your wife. Oh, I do a lot deeper. Yeah, you’re right.

Aloysius J. Pig 9:42
But you sound just like you normally did so I but it’s anyway, it’s splendid to see you guys with an agenda room. Has anybody seen real fast?

Natty Bumpercar 9:50

No, but it’s weird because every time Rufus talks san is not here, and every time Santa talks, Rufus isn’t here. I think there’s something strange going on with your hours

Producer 9:59
so far. Just To say that it totes banoo because you say that this whole situation is taught.

Natty Bumpercar 10:04
Not only what I say it’s totes banoo, but I would say it’s a total mystery

Outro 10:20
the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs in hearts See you soon.

NonPro 11:39
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
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December 18, 2021
Bumperpodcast #406 – Season 2 – People in the house

Something odd is happening at Headquarters. There are people that no one knows — IN THE HOUSE. The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!
Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-kw54nusa’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-kw54nt8g’ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:03 There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. There are people in my house and I don’t know who they are. Rufus T. Rufus 0:25 Oh, no, excuse me, that is just a new song you’re singing? Are there actually people in the domicile that we are not familiar with that we are not have not been properly identified and, you know, checked out and whatnot. And there Natty Bumpercar 0:40 there are people in my house. And I don’t know who they are. Producer 0:45 Okay, hold on one second here, because I’m trying to look over the schedule here to see how you’re supposed to be in the house and the don’t know, there’s no one listed in SA what I’m going to say also don’t mean, I’m not trying to be facetious is that I think that there are some people in the house and maybe we don’t know who they are. Exactly. All Unknown Speaker 1:05 right. Well, now as as a lawyer, I am the closest to a law enforcement officer here. And so I think that means courses that I’m gonna have to go inside and now they they launch people there and I shouldn’t be intimidated. I’m a little bit nervous if I’m to be on. Natty Bumpercar 1:24 There are people in the house and I don’t I don’t know who they are. All right. People in the house. And I don’t know who they are. Producer 1:33 Yes, sir. I’m hearing from you. Nadine, you’re doing a very good job of I think trying to illustrate the situation and to really let us know what’s going on. He said there are so people who are inside of the house right now. And you don’t exactly Rufus T. Rufus 1:50 I’m catching the same drift over here, producer. anybody’s seen piggy Lu ello issues. Maybe he has some insight into the situation. There’s some people in my house and I don’t know who they are. Natty Bumpercar 2:05 There’s people in my house and I don’t know who they are. Producer 2:27 So I’m looking at this is it? I mean, it does look like a parrot. I mean, hmm. This is more of a sketch. I think it’s a doodle. You don’t he didn’t really mean you captured some things on it. But I can’t really tell from your drawing who it is. People might be many information you got maybe names, anything. Doodle Poodle 2:49 I don’t usually draw names. I just kinda like to draw pictures. So no. Rufus T. Rufus 3:03 Yeah, well, yeah, I’m so glad that your name isn’t God dog. Boom, I guess I wouldn’t work as well God because you’re not very good guard dog is what I’m saying. You’re really instincts do not lean towards protecting the house. The moves, look at these drawings. So is everybody here? Alright, it looks like we got two or three. Okay. And it looks like where you have drawn them. This seems to be in the near the foyer. Doodle Poodle 3:37 Say for you Rufus T. Rufus 3:40 know, it’s just you know, as learning different language, different accents, or whatever I say for you. Well, yeah, I understand. You Producer 3:48 know, when I was growing up, we used to say the five years well, he sounded more fancy. He’s like we say, are you going to go through the fire? Yay. You’re going to see the surfer. Read the chaise lounge. You’re going to go past that. Some people say Oh, I go into the Foreo and I got to pass the couch is like come on, man. This is nicer stuff. This is just lounge and this for a year. So Natty Bumpercar 4:16 there’s people in the house right and and and and and and I don’t know who they are. Okay, there’s people Ah, yeah. Inside the house. And and I don’t know I don’t know where they are. No, no. Rufus T. Rufus 4:32 I hesitate to ask this of course. But it’s a sensitive situation but now you’re going a little bit looky loo right now. It does seem and feel a little bit like a little a little loop de loop. People Producer 4:51 they are dry. You know, we all kind of live here in all of our house that kind of nervous about the people you In the currently done, you don’t really even know Rufus T. Rufus 5:04 taking control of the situation the next person or dog or frog anyone who says that phrase is going to be out on the sidewalk taking a break because we understand the whole thing we understand the situation that we’re in. We don’t need to keep repetitively repeating it and one up and repeating the one up and too often, because that’s just too much All right, everybody calm down. We’re gonna figure this situation out. Hey, everybody, it’s me. Aloysius jpg coming in. And why is everybody so freaked out about I can see it on your faces. Holy cow. What did I just walk into? Well, Natty Bumpercar 5:43 so there’s some people who are inside of the house. Right? Who we and we don’t know who they are. Yeah, Rufus T. Rufus 5:50 I’m gonna let that one slide because he elevations did just as exactly what you saw. I understand what just happened there. Oh, yeah. Like, seriously, you guys are freaked out about you don’t know what that is. This is hilarious. I didn’t even realize we were doing a podcast. Like I thought we were done doing it. I mean, I looked at the schedule and it was just like a Halloween we did a show and it’s been like a long time and so I thought that we maybe you guys had just moved on to something else. Like maybe you’re just making NF TS or whatever. I don’t know the bump of pod can NF T’s i don’t i don’t know maybe crypto coins? I don’t know whatever you kids do these days. No but so we’re recording an episode right now Producer 6:31 if you’ve recovered the light over there says on the air that we need to be recording we’re not actually on the air as we’re doing a bad case so we’re on the computer but they didn’t have a light that said on computer you understand I also I thought it’d be very confusing if we did you said on computer because he realized what are we doing on the computer I don’t understand your your recording you’re gone gone computer and it is still a red light or is it just for on air? And so you just really a lot of variables and things to look into for me you know, I’m very busy too. Yeah, so Rufus T. Rufus 7:06 so it has been a long time we’ve been very busy and it’s been chilly. In fact, we’ve been chilly out here in the old bumper barn and we’re still working on getting it insulated and people are not responding to calls and you know hopefully we’ll be able to get in here soon and record or we’re gonna have to move all the equipment back over the into the house with the people on we don’t know Aloysius J. Pig 7:30 ah okay, I guess that makes sense. So anyway the people who already own the house or who you guys don’t know but I think you actually don’t own them. They were just dropping somebody off Doodle Poodle 7:43 three people said I’m curious cuz I made a drawing. And who are they dropping? Rufus T. Rufus 7:49 Let me see that. Drew No no, you missed it totally if you didn’t look down the person they were dropping off I mean I really a person it’s a one he only ladies in case char Natty Bumpercar 7:59 gay Wait a minute, so there were some people inside my house and I didn’t know who they are and the whole time they were just dropping you off Turkey I haven’t seen you in a year this isn’t Sam so happy to see you. Rufus T. Rufus 8:20 Good. So now evidently he can see other things perfect and now this episode can take off for only eight and a half minutes in so now I guess we can just pretend like nothing happened Aloysius J. Pig 8:37 yeah, exactly. It’s a beautiful song that you just saying. It’s a turkey is here of course it’s his yearly tradition to come into our house be on the podcast to well, you know to hide from all the people because it is Thanksgiving and we give him safe refuge. And it’s good good thing we toe every year right and every year you come back you spread the turkey word you let people know about Turkey issues Turkey dealings Turkey whatnot etc Producer 9:15 Oh yeah, yeah, no, he’s not kidding around. I know I’ve read the articles as well if you’ve been really prolific in the last year with your writing and everything it’s it’s it’s almost like poetry you’re not you’re the way you write about these issues is it’s gripping in it really yeah did did pulls on my heartstrings. Yeah, we Natty Bumpercar 9:33 actually we subscribed to all the magazines and everything Turkey because we wanted them and we put up an alert a turkey alert so that we could make sure that anytime you published anything that we could read it because it’s it’s you’re great and we love having you around. I’m so sorry. This episode got off to a strange start and it’s not just because we haven’t been recording a lot lady. It’s just it’s just it’s been a lot Rufus T. Rufus 9:53 not to freak anyone out but I just looked through the window and I saw some people walking around the house and I’m just I’m blown nervous because I don’t know who they are. Oh wait what Natty Bumpercar 10:04 is people asked me know who they are Outro 10:20 the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs in hearts See you soon. NonPro 11:39 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]

November 18, 2021
Bumperpodcast #375 – Bunny

On today’s Bumperpodcast, we have a very special guest. The Easter Bunny hops by to discuss basket regulations and his height. He’s 6’7″ – which is HUGE!!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this special Easter episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar and Aloysious J. Pig receive an unexpected visit from the Easter Bunny himself, who stands six foot seven (with two-foot ears). The six-foot-seven rabbit discusses Easter basket delivery protocols during quarantine, including proper safety measures and social distancing on the bunny trail. Rufus T. Rufus briefly interrupts to discuss contractual loopholes before being dismissed. Natty performs an original parody song called "Peter Cleaning Tail" about practicing safe hygiene during the holiday. The episode wraps with heartfelt advice about self-care, structure, and kindness during challenging times, plus a reminder to leave carrots for the Easter Bunny on his long journey.

Memorable Quotes

“I am the Easter bunny, and I am watching, and I am seeing, and I'm hearing, and what I've seen and what I have heard is that everyone here is very nice to each other.”
— Easter Bunny

“I'm not a basket kind of pig. I don't need baskets all over my house. I'm not going to store stuff in baskets.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“You start small at your house. You take care of yourself and everyone there and then you expand it out and you don't leave your house and so you're not going to spread this thing around.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #easter #holidays #quarantine #socialdistancing #hygiene #self-care #parodysongs #easterbunny

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and this is the bumper podcast your very favorite family friendly silly podcast that happens every so often weekly maybe i don't know time has gotten very strange these days but can i tell you what i'm excited about something that is very time sensitive something that is happening this weekend yes you should absolutely just tell everybody you're doing all this build up and and you should tell them because they're gonna then they don't know what you're talking about they hear you're excited but they ain't know what you're excited about correctamundo pig my friend everybody that's aloysius j pig you may know him you may love him if you don't then you should you should you should because he's pretty swell i'm pretty thank you natty you're in a really good mood today like i've listened to a few in a podcast lately and you seem a little bit dour a little bit down a little bit sour with all of your frowns you're saying i sound good you my friend also sound good um that was a good rhyme looking bit what was it sour looking kind of down looking kind of dour with all your frowns oh go pig go pig i'm going go you stopped i thought you were gonna keep going yeah that's not how i'm no i'm sorry i got confused we need to work on yeah i'm sorry anyway sorry about that hey aloysius um i am in a good mood and it's because of what's happening this weekend we're gonna get a very special visitor this weekend i'm hoping i don't know but do you know that this weekend is easter for everyone in this house maybe you celebrate something different and that's 100 cool you do you but here we have a giant rabbit who hops down a bunny trail hippity hopping and and then you know what he does he drops off baskets and i i know a lot of crazy things happen here at headquarters on the podcast but if we ever had a giant i don't know with the ears i'm gonna guess seven foot rabbit in the building i'm actually i'm actually six six foot six foot seven the ears alone are two feet tall i am a four foot seven the ears, but with the ears, I am six foot seven. Okay. He's a six foot, he's, the Easter bunny is here, everybody. I'm so excited. He's right there, and he's looking at you, so he hears you talking about him. He's also got very large ears. I believe he said they were two feet tall. Exactly. They were two feet tall, and I am the Easter bunny, and it's one little seal, and it's a beautiful spring day out here, and I'm hoping everyone is very healthy and very well. And I'm hoping I never received any kind of a list from you, or a letter, or anything. I'm so sorry we didn't send the Easter bunny a letter this year, but it's because we, you know, we're quarantined, we're at home, and we couldn't go to the post office, and we couldn't mail you a letter, and I'm hoping that this doesn't ruin all of Easter. You see how it works, man? There's loopholes. There's all these rules, and they're going to try to take your holiday away, your Easter basket, just because you didn't follow some rule and send this bunny dude a letter? I never said that. I said that I never received a letter. I didn't say you were not going to get an Easter basket, and listen to me, Mr. Aloysius J. Pig. I am the Easter bunny, and I am watching, and I am seeing, and I'm hearing, and what I've seen and what I have heard is that everyone here is very nice to each other, and I do appreciate that very much, and so we shall see come Sunday morning if there's any kind of basket or anything around your house, eh?

Rufus T. Rufus: Uh, excuse me, I didn't mean to put myself into the fray, but, uh, I am Rufus T. Rufus, and my understanding is that someone was referring to some sort of loopholes, and any time you bring up contractual entities with loopholes and such whatnots and et ceteras I like to be part of the conversation ipso facto where in two fro I can relegate, and of course I can bill for hours, if you understand what I'm saying. Times are tough. Times are real tough around here.

Natty Bumpercar: Uh, thank you, Rufus. I appreciate you. Uh, you did, thanks for coming in, but I think we have this all handled, and I, uh…

Rufus T. Rufus: What in the net is that? A seven foot tall rabbit in the building? What in the world is happening? I've never seen such a crazy thing. I mean, I've seen all sorts of things here at the Bumper Podcast at the headquarters, but I have never seen a seven foot tall, uh, uh, uh, bunny, right, like this one

Natty Bumpercar: right there. Actually, he said he's not… I'm six foot seven. The ears, I'm six foot seven. Yeah, six foot seven. Okay. But the ears, again, if you took the ears off, and then I'm four foot seven, the ears are tall for you. I'm very tall, and I'm just, and I'm very tall.

Rufus T. Rufus: Well, I do declare, uh, if I ain't seen everything, I do believe I've seen almost all of it now. But, uh, Natty, if I'm also correct, you're not gonna be allowing me to bill for this time?

Natty Bumpercar: No, there was nothing to bill for. So go ahead and go. Well, then, I shall, uh, go my

Rufus T. Rufus: separate ways. Thanks. Uh, Mr. Easter Bunny, I do hope to see you, uh, or not see you, but I hope you, I hope you understand. I would appreciate it. I think I understand. Exactly. Exactly. Thank you, sir. Everyone have a wonderful weekend, and, uh, enjoy your spring day. Alright. Thank you

Natty Bumpercar: so much, Rufus. Um, wow. So, Easter Bunny, I'm, again, I'm sorry that we didn't send you a letter, but there was obvious and very serious reasons why we didn't. We didn't, it wasn't safe. Um, I hope that you guys along the bunny trail are practicing all of the, uh, paw washing, and, uh, masks and gloves and everything, because, you know, if you are going to be dropping off baskets all around the world, all around the country, everywhere, I want to make sure that they're safe for everybody that you drop them off with. We're following all the rules, the regulations, of course, and we're going to make, you know, all the baskets are safe, of course, and we, uh, we're wearing gloves, and we're wearing masks and everything. It's wonderful. It's going to be a great Easter. I'm very excited about Easter. It's going to be a big, big, big, big, big time. That's what I'm talking about. Safety first. Uh, you know, my favorite thing about the Easter, it's not the basket, it's not the grass in the basket, because that just really makes a mess. If we could get rid of the, you know, the fake grass in the basket, I'd love that. I really, I don't even need a basket. If you could just give me a pile of stuff, I'm fine with a pile. Because here's the thing with the baskets, is after Easter, I got this basket. I'm not a basket kind of pig. I don't need baskets all over my house. I'm not going to store stuff in baskets. I'm not going to put stuff in baskets. I'm not going to test it. I'm not going to test it. I am not the pig who needs a basket. You're really on point with your rhymes today, pig. I'm very impressed. Thanks, bro. Nothing but time. Nothing but time here, sitting here, working on the rhymes, if you get it. Actually, we can't just leave a pile of stuff that we, Easter basket. It's the Easter rule. We give a basket and then you have your gifts and your chocolates and everything inside of the basket, and it's very it's very nice. All right. Well, that, I mean, that makes sense to me. I mean, if you're going to bend the rules on us not having to send you a letter, then if you have to stick to the rules of having a basket, I'm totally cool with that. And I'll bet it's a lot easier for you to carry everything around the bunny trail to everybody's house if there's a basket involved because you can just hold the handle, zip in, hide the basket, run out. Yep. Yep. Yep. That makes sense. Exactly. It's very difficult to carry the baskets and everything around everywhere, and we have to visit all the children around the world who celebrate Easter, and we give them baskets. If I just had piles and piles and piles, things would get mixed and people would get confused, and no one would know what was going on, and it would just be absolute chaos, and we can't have it. Yep. We cannot have anarchy on Christmas. Christmas? Excuse me. Easter. I got confused. I'm very… A lot on my mind. A lot on my mind right now. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on in the world. Well, listen, Easter Bunny, I know, I don't even, I appreciate you coming by and spending some time with us. It's super awesome and super sweet, and before you leave, I hope you don't mind if I… You don't have to do this, Ned. You don't have to show him. No, I just wanted to please… He doesn't… No, he doesn't need to… Fine, go ahead. Thank you. Yeah, alright, go ahead. So, I wrote this thing, you know, because everyone is so concerned about the cleaning and what I was saying about the bunnies and the… Not the bunnies, the masks and the gloves and everything. Proper protocol. We have to follow it, right? Yep. And so I wrote this thing, it's called Peter Cleaning Tail. Nope, my name is actually Cottontail. Cottontail. I know you're Cottontail, but I was making a little joke. It's very funny. Awesome. So, it's, you know the old Peter Cottontail, like, here comes Peter Cottontail, that one. So, this is Peter Cleaning Tail, so it's kind of a, you know, whatever. But it's, so it's to that tune. So, I wrote this, we'll see how it works out, but here, I'll try to, you know, sing-song it, I guess. Here comes Peter Cleaning Tail. Wearing a mask on the bunny trail. Practicing social distancing the whole way. Bringing every girl and boy baskets full of antibacterial joy. And things to make your Easter clean and safe. Oh, here comes Peter Cleaning Tail. Did he just cough on the bunny trail? How many times did he wash his paws today? Here comes Peter Cleaning Tail, hopping down the bunny trail. Hippity-hoppiting with disinfecting spray. Try to do the things you should. Make sure to sanitize. Extra good and heel roll gloves and toilet paper your way. Oh, wow. Natty, you wrote that? I did, I did. It's cute, huh? Nice. And you've been taking singing lessons? No, I really, I haven't been taking singing lessons. I was just messing with you. I knew you hadn't. Bro, maybe

Rufus T. Rufus: you should have warmed up first.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, thanks. Appreciate that. It was just on the spot. Easter Bunny's here. I didn't know I was going to have to sing today. But listen, everyone, I hope you are safe and well and sound at home. I hope you're taking care of yourselves. I hope that you are practicing social distancing. I hope you're taking, washing your hands and showering and, you know, doing all the things that you need to do to keep yourself together. Make some sort of structure in your life because right now everyone's structure is just so completely out of whack. So, kind of get up in the morning, brush your teeth, maybe make your bed, change out of your pajamas every so often. Not every day. Listen, I'm not asking much here. You know, make sure to take showers. Showers are really nice to get you clean and get you refreshed and get you ready for the day. Eat your meals. Eat good food, healthy food. Don't just eat junk or else you're going to feel kind of terrible. And most of all, be nice to everybody who's in the house with you because they love you. Right? And they want you to be as good as you can be and you want them to be as good as they can be because you're all in this together. And ultimately we're all in this together. Right? So you start small at your house. You take care of yourself and everyone there and then you expand it out and you don't leave your house and so you're not going to spread this thing around and then we'll get to go out and all hang out and high five very soon. I mean air high five. I'm not actually going to high five anyone ever again. Ladies and gentlemen this has been the Bumper Podcast and I want to thank our guest today, the Easter Bunny. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it, of course. Thanks. I forgot, did you like the thing that I wrote? It was very funny. Thanks. It was very wonderful. I want to add in everything you just said that everyone take care of yourself and be wonderful and don't forget maybe leave me a carrot if you can on Sunday because it's a very long trip and I want you to have a wonderful day and I need to keep some carrot in my belly so I can keep it going. Wait, did the Easter Bunny seriously just use the Bumper Podcast to ask people for carrots? Hey, crazy things that happen. Alright, see you later seven foot tall bunny. Again, I'm actually six foot seven. Yeah, four foot. Two foot years. Four foot seven. Alright, everybody. Thank you so much. Have a great time. We'll see you next week. Whoa! I'm Natty Bumper Car.

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April 10, 2020