“How are you?” is an episode from the hilarious and unpredictable improvised comedy podcast, Bumperpodcast, set in the quirky town of Coffee-Can Alley. This episode features the lovable and zany main character, Natty Bumpercar, as he navigates through his day-to-day life and all its absurdities.
In this episode, Natty runs into a series of unlikely and humorous encounters as he attempts to answer the titular question, “How are you?” From interacting with eccentric town residents to getting into wacky situations, Natty’s unique perspective and quick wit never fail to bring laughter to the listener. The Bumperpodcast is a non-scripted and unplanned show, meaning each episode is fresh and full of unexpected twists and turns that will keep you entertained from start to finish.
The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
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You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
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Natty Bumpercar 0:04
I actually had to come out to the studio today and defrost the microphone. And and the board because it’s so it’s cold. It’s so chilly out here. It’s 55 degrees currently in the studio, which is kind of insane to me, but fine. This is the bumper podcast. I am Natty Bumpercar It is wonderful to talk to you today. How are you? I’ve missed you so much. No, no, really, I have I, sometimes people say how are you? And they don’t actually want you to answer because it’s like a formality. Right? It’s like, oh, how are you doing? And then you have to make the mental societal calculation of, do I actually tell them how I’m doing? Do they really want to know how I’m doing? Or do I just go? Ah, I’m fine. Things are good. Like, right. But then sometimes they’ll press a little bit. They’ll go, ah, how’s the family? How’s the Giles’s of wife? And it’s like, oh, you’re opening the door, you’re really opening the door to do I’m gonna start talking, I’m gonna give you information. And then you’re gonna, you know, wish you hadn’t, you know, because a lot of times the how’s it going? Is pretty surface. Because the people that you’re saying, how’s it going to? That generally implies to me at least that you haven’t, you know, talked to them in a little while, and maybe you’re not up on the day to day. And so, you know, the people who do know how it’s actually going, they probably know for, you know, for the most part, so they don’t have to say how’s it going? Because they just know. So then the people who come up to you and say, How’s it going? They aren’t up on the news, right? They know they don’t get your they don’t subscribe to your newsletter. Right? They don’t read your, your, your blog, their your RSS feed, they’re not watching your tic TOCs. They don’t know how it’s going. And so when you’re like, Well, who actually there’s a lot going on, then you can see like their, their the skin on their face kind of tighten up a little bit. And they go Oh, no, what have I gotten myself into? Ah, all right, and then they try to what? Okay, there’s you Well, that’s great. See, I’m gonna No, no, no, no. Oh, friend. You just asked me how it was going. And I am going to do you have 45 minutes? Because I’d like to tell you how it’s going. I’d like to tell you every single bit of how it is going. And so that’s why it’s a very not transitional but just it’s a very transitory I don’t know what the word I’m going for. But it’s it’s not a real question. It’s not, you know, like, Hey, bud. Let’s hang out. Let’s sit down right now and hash this out. Let’s have a cup of hot liquid. Whatever. I don’t know what hot liquid you drink. I don’t like coffee. I should you know, we should let you know that. I don’t like coffee. I think coffee is yucky. I do like tea. Big fan of tea. Right? Not fruit fruity kind of teas. kind of freaked me out a little bit. But like black tea, like an earl grey, which is a black tea, but it’s gray. I don’t know. English breakfast. Now that’s a tea I can get behind. That’s a solid tea. Right? What other hot drinks cider? Oh, man, I will drink a cider. Like all day long. I will drink a cider. I will. I will take some cinnamon and I’ll put it in my cider. Yeah, that’s gonna make my day better. I’m just gonna tell you right now. A Chai now. That’s a tea though. So I don’t know if it really counts. What other kind of hot beverages are there? I don’t know. Do you consider like broth to be a hot beverage? Like a miso soup that you know maybe just has a couple of little scallions in there. Feels kind of soupy I don’t know. There’s like what kind of what kind of tea do you like? Oh, I’ll take the chicken tea today please. warms me up. fills me up makes me feel good about everything out there. Oh, sorry. We don’t have any chicken tea. But we do have these dried up leaves that you can put in hot water and then it’ll turn your water Brown. Oh, wow. That sounds delicious. My my youngest kid. He’s I don’t know how old he is. 710 43 I don’t know, but he’s adorable. And he said, I drink a lot of tea. And he recently, he was like, you know, I’m gonna, I’m gonna try some of that tea and I said, Oh, are you and I let them have a little sip of my tea, you know, not wanting to get the child caffeinated. Because he doesn’t need the energy for him. To be honest, I need I need all of the energy. I am a robot whose battery is always low. And so I need the energy. And but I let him have a little sip just to see if he liked it. And he did. And so I went out and I bought him a little box of decaffeinated tea. And now that I’m saying that I kind of wonder if there’s any caffeine in that because though, even though it says decaffeinated, I wonder if it’s just that means has less caffeine, or if it means there’s none, I don’t know, but I should. Now I’m thinking I should find that out. And he loves the whole process of making tea. And I think I like part of that too. Where are you, you have your your water the kettle, it’s on the fire and it’s it’s boiling, and it’s whistling while that whole thing is happening. You you go and you get your mug or whatever, you know, kind of thing. You’re putting your your your hot tea into, you put the tea bag and you’ve we we’ve discovered because I used to put sugar in my tea because I like a little sweet D because I’m from the south. That’s what we drink. But now I’ve discovered something called monk fruit, which is I don’t know what it is. I know nothing about it. I just know, I was in the store. And someone said, Would you like to try these strawberries? They’ve got a little monkfruit on them. And I was like, yeah, oh, sure. And this wasn’t even like someone who worked in the store. This was just like a random person. I think they pulled it out of their pocket. If I’m gonna be honest, I wasn’t like at a station. It wasn’t branded. It was just, yeah, wow. I don’t know, maybe. Maybe monkfruit is doing some guerilla marketing. Now they’re just going into stores, berries in their pocket, and trying to turn to turn the masses, or something like that real grass roots is what they’re doing. So no, I, I tried it. And it was it was I was like, Well, this is this tastes fine. This tastes yummy. This is good. And so then it took me two months for that thought to work its way through my brain and get to the point where I was like, I wonder if this monkfruit will be good and my tea. And then it took another month and a half for me to then go fight like be at the store. And remember that that was something that I was curious about. So it’s it’s a six month process at most. So any, any thought that comes into my brain anything that I’m like, you know, that’s a good idea. It doesn’t just then happen. It has to sit on the shelf for a little while, you know, like, actually what we do is we, we cook it with and then we put it in a mason jar and then we put it on the shelf and then you let it rest there and then we open it in. Oh, and it’s delicious. And then we put it back in the fridge. I mean, it’s a whole process is what I’m saying. And so I finally it happened though, I got it. And it’s delicious. It doesn’t in Thai it doesn’t 1,000% tastes like sugar. But I would say it’s a good 80% And it doesn’t taste like the I don’t like unnatural sweeteners, like the pink packet or the blue packet or the yellow packet. Those all kind of just leave a bad taste in my mouth don’t like diet sodas, either for the same reason. I just don’t think Yeah. But this stuff
so far, so Okay, so, you know, keep drinking it, drinking it, no putting it in my tea and then drinking it. That’s what I’ll do. So the child he loves the process of we put the teabag into the mug while the water is boiling. I’ve started putting this monk fruit and it was tea and he doesn’t seem to notice which is nice. And then you know, you put the water in and he he enjoys watching it steep. And I would like to know the etymology of the word steep because it’s your, you know, just putting the teabag into the hot water and releasing the deliciousness from the leaves that have been dried. And I don’t know what steeping is. Hmm. But, you know, initially we were trying to teach him like alright, so you have a tea bag And then you put it in the water. And and you know, it has to sit in there for a certain amount of time the water should be a certain temperature, it should sit in the water for a certain amount of time and we’re not that scientific about it, if I’m to be honest, but you can look at it and you can see like, okay, that that water looks plenty dark to me. Like, I feel like it’s got enough tea flavor. And then also try to explain to them that if you leave the teabag in there for too long, if you forget it in there, it might turn bitter on you. You don’t want that No, no, no bitter, no bitter. Nope, no, buddy, no bitter. So you know, he’s caught. He’s like, has it steeped enough as it steeped in it, and I’m like, I think it is steeped enough. And so then he takes it out. And then what we do is we leave like an inch at the top of his mug. And we put some ice cubes in there just to cool it down. You know, I don’t want to burn them. I want them to enjoy his tea. And so then we have I have a tea buddy. Like we go to we go to the restaurant, and we get breakfast. And he’s like, she’s like, and what what will you have little man some chocolate milk. And he’s like, actually, I’d like some tea. decaffeinated, please. And I’m like, Oh, you’re so fancy. Look at you a little fancy man. And the waitress is always, you know, they’re always really amused by it, that he’s being so fancy. And he. And the last time we went, she was like, and would you like some cream? Or should he was like, no, no, no half and half for me. He knows what half and half is. I don’t even know what half and half is. I just know it’s kind of milky stuff. And it’s all a it comes in a little bowl type situation. And it’s put on the table. And then you put it in coffee and stuff. And it makes it look neat and cloudy and everything. I don’t really know if it if it changes anything, but you know, so she was asking him this. And so we go to the same diner every so often. And it was great because we went there just he and I the other day. And we’re at the table. It’s the same waitress that we normally get. And she comes up and she has all these, you know, big smiles and oh, how are you? When you look at you guys and we’re like, hey, and then she looks she goes. So how’s it going? And my younger son has picked up on this social cue, and he said, I’m not sure you really want to know how much time do you have
Outro 12:42
the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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