Natty gets attacked by falling things. Will he ever survive?!
The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
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Natty Bumpercar 0:04
Hey there jumbo Elia it’s me Natty Bumpercar. And I am so beyond excited. I don’t I’d say today is sunny, whatever that means, whatever for the day that means, but who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Let’s get right into it so much going on. Wherever then don’t worry about it. Am I here? I’m here, Maxie. I’m recording two episodes today. One for you. And then one for something called Radio Free Montclair. And I don’t know maybe that one will end up in the feed as well. Who knows I don’t know how these things work. In theory, we were going to be recording an episode of pig and pals with the the kids and all the different characters from that show. But it hasn’t happened but that’s okay. You know, we were looking at income
not not your Your. Your what just happened to you? Yeah, do you do your word cut off and then you did a bit of coughing but you’re you’re not sick?
Natty Bumpercar 1:01
Or you know, I just had something too much. I honestly I haven’t been speaking as or talking as much as I was before for some reason. And so I’m trying to get used to talking again, which is strange. It’s a strange thing to try to get used to but I can hear my voice is all is all. Looky loo did you just say it? We did. It was looky loo because I feel like we have set a precedent in the last 5000 episodes of this park.
Rufus T. Rufus 1:27
Hi, everyone. I’m Rufus. Rufus. The lawyer. Oh, no,
Natty Bumpercar 1:33
you are you
Rufus T. Rufus 1:34
what is going on?
Natty Bumpercar 1:35
Roof is roofers. Are you okay? That was a no you’re coughing first. I was golfing. No, you’re coughing produce you sounded fine. But I don’t. I don’t know. Hey, Aloysius, can you get over here for a second? I want to I want to test something out. I want to see what’s going on what’s
Aloysius J. Pig 1:49
going on? Bumpercar How you doing? It’s me. I’ll always just J pig hanging out with you as I always do. You know, sometimes it’s something Yeah, something something that Lou I working on Iran. You know, yeah, you
Natty Bumpercar 2:02
need to work harder. You sound fine, too. I was. So I was coughing and then Rufus was coughing produce your sound fine. And you sound fine. Anyway, hi, everybody. Well, I’m glad you guys are all here. We can talk about some fun stuff. And yeah,
can you just get to it though, because you’re telling too many teenagers with you know, got limited time here. So you, you can’t like, oh, I record the podcast. It’s a weekly podcast. Don’t put it out for a month. And then when I do and eat up all the time, be willing and verbally I am I don’t. Am I babbling and babbling,
Rufus T. Rufus 2:34
my friend. You’re basically the king of Babylon and Babylon at this point. I’m going to start telling you, Brooke because you babble so much. Can anybody think of a joke with bibble? Again, but babble? I was like a babbling brook but Liberland I don’t know. I don’t know. But you’re building and battling yet as what you do.
Aloysius J. Pig 2:53
Yeah, I can’t take a bibble either. It’s bibble its people an actual way. I don’t think so. I’ve heard I’ve heard down. People know, and I don’t think so. But anyway, Papa Coco.
Natty Bumpercar 3:05
Well, here’s the story I’m going to tell you today. I have this is a few weeks ago at this point, but I was in a big store giant store. And I was in an aisle it was 815 in the morning, and I had to get two gallons of paint so big can two cans of paint, not the little little ones is weird. So you can get a pint of pain which is tiny, you can get a quart of paint which is a little bit bigger, I think get a gallon or you can get a five gallon five gallons is too big, but I was getting two gallon cans. And they were they were just above my head. And I I gone to the paint desk before Hey, where’s this specific kind of paint because I was painting ceilings and roofs because we’re still working on the barn. But it’s coming along so well. The walls are in the electric is in everything has been painted, there’s just now some touch up that needs to happen. It’s so exciting. So I had to get this paint. And so I pulled one gallon of paint off the shelf. And then I put it down next to me. And then as I went to grab another gallon of paint, the craziest thing happened I got it off and then out of nowhere, a third gallon. This is number three which I would I did not want I did not ask for but it just flipped off the shelf it like fell off the shelf. And I mean missed me my face by mere inches. But it did luckily land and hit my leg and hit my foot and explode everywhere. Now when a gallon fan explodes, it’s serious business and it all over the shoes all over the pants a little bit on the sweatshirt. And I was standing there and I don’t know if you should continue with this podcast. You might not want to say anything else because you might. We might have a case here a court case, maybe a libel case. Maybe terney What I could handle for you now well just hold on here the whole story first because I think it’s it to me it was kind of funny ish, I guess funny light. So I was standing there and I went, Oh, no. And I looked down the aisle there was there was a worker and I said, Hi help this, this thing has happened. And he was very scowled, and he said, Go to the paint department. Now. He’s like, Okay, go to the paint department. So I walked a few feet over to the paint department, where the gentlemen who had helped me find the the king the Kent paint. Yeah, I can’t, I can’t do it. The paint was, and I said, I am so sorry. And then that’s when he looked up at me. And he went, Oh, come on. And he just turned and walked away. I don’t know where he went. I never saw that guy again. No, come on. And so I’m standing there covered in pain. And I didn’t know what to do. It was just like, pain. So I walked it to the front. And there was a nice woman there cashier, she was working at the registers. And she was the first one, he was actually kind of human with the whole situation. And she said, Oh, no, what happened to you? And I was just like, campaign fell, hit explode. And she was like, oh, and she ran, and she got some paper towels, and she got a trashcan for me. You know, I’m cleaning up as best I can. But when you’re covered in paint, yeah, there’s not a lot of cleaning up you can do. So, you know, and I’m throwing stuff away. And I’m trying to wipe the floor because I’ve gotten paint everywhere. And she she said, Oh, Baby, don’t you don’t have to do that. Don’t worry about the floor. And I said, Okay. Okay. And so I finished wiping up my shoes, and pants and jacket, everything. And then I started to finish shopping. And so I went over and I got the stuff that I had gotten previous to getting the paint, and there was still no one there that the you know, the, the the pool of paint was still there. And it was expanding, it was getting bigger. And so I was just like, alright, I don’t know what to I don’t know what to do. So I went around the store, and I just kind of finished my shop. And
Aloysius J. Pig 7:22
so I don’t I mean, I guess he’s not really important to this job where you get another staff? Or was it because you said you had other stuff? It was a decision? Did you have like a shopping cart? Or did you just we just kind of login everything around? Like because I know you do that sometimes you like to go into stores and you’re like, I’m going to get one or two things and you end up getting 15 things. And you still try to carry him without a basket. Without a card. We have nothing. And so I mean, I just was wondering,
Natty Bumpercar 7:51
yeah, so I did not have a basket or car. I think I’d gotten like four small things. And then the two gallons of paint. So would have been six things. But yeah, so nothing, nothing too big. I mean, the paint cans are the biggest heaviest things. But you know, so no, I didn’t have any of that stuff. But I did. So I went around the store. And I kind of went down and all the way around like a little loop because you can kind of get to all the different places from the loop that goes around the interior of the store. And it took me over to like they have a, I guess kind of like a mat not a management desk, but like a I don’t know a desk with people, professional people. And I said, Oh, I’m so sorry, this thing happened. And I recounted the story. And they they there were three, two or three guys, and they looked over at me and they went okay, like that. That was their reaction to the gentleman that’s me covered in pain right in front of their desk. Okay, well, yeah, that was all it was it and I went okay, and so I I went to lead I even said that, you know, there’s a big puddle of paint there. It says it’s a danger. But I you know, and I forgot like, so when I had already cleaned myself off, and I was I went over to grab my stuff. There was an older gentleman who was about to go down the aisle, and I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re gonna want to watch out for that big puddle of pain. It’s gonna get you. And he said, Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, young boy. And he gave me a penny candy which is I really appreciate it because I do love penny candy. So I ended up you know, I bought my stuff. We took a couple of extra bags, and went out to the parking lot put my stuff in the car and then I had to take off my pants, my shoes and my sweatshirt and put them into the bags, the extra bags so that I didn’t get paint all over my car. It was a I guess it could have been a humbling experience, but I just I didn’t care. I didn’t care You know, I was standing there in my boxer shorts and a T shirt. I was like, I was so disgruntled by the by the entire thing. I
Rufus T. Rufus 10:07
don’t blame you, I would have been beside myself with anger.
Natty Bumpercar 10:12
Yes, it was very frustrating. But I, you know, whatever, I got home, I put all the stuff away. And I was telling my wife about it. And she was just like, what if it wouldn’t hit your head? Would they have cared then? And I was like, I had no doubt. So I did what any, you know, fine, upstanding person does in this digital age. I went on Twitter, and I tweet a little joke about it. But then I tweeted directly to the company. Hey, here’s this thing that happened. Here’s a picture of everything. And nothing got no response. I was like, Wow, all right. So then I, the next day, when I I called the customer service number. I was just like, This just seems weird that no one cared about this situation. And the woman was wonderful that I spoke to and she kept calling me baby. She’s like, Oh, baby, oh, baby. I’m so sorry. And I was just like, yeah, as fun. And she she sent it to somebody. And then within 30 minutes, somebody from the store called me and get this. When I was telling him about it. He’s like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, we had to clean up all the pain. I was like, Yeah, well, I didn’t know what to do. And he’s like, yeah, the guys yesterday, they said, the guy that did this, he just ran out of the store. And I was like, that’s not true at all. I was there for another 15 minutes. I talked to several employees. And he was saying this is unacceptable. But he’s like, are you okay? And I was like, Yeah, I just, you know, my, my clothes are ruined, but whatever. It’s kind of frustrating. But yeah. And I thought that was it. I thought we were done. But then I got this call from some random in their insurance company. And they said, really? Oh, you have to go through the whole story. So I went through the whole story again, I’ve gotten very good at telling this story at this point. And, you know, the moon was in the, the East and the sky and the clouds, precipitation, whatever. And so I told the whole story. And he’s like, Well, what can we do to make this better? And I was like, I’d love new shoes and pants. Those are in my sweatshirt. And we tried to figure out how much they were. And they were like, Oh, the system says it’s worth 100 bucks. And I was like, Oh, that’s cool. We call adding insult injury that hurts why?
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
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Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Every week, Natty Bumpercar presents a few ounces of ridiculousness with a dash or two of stupefaction. It's totes banoo!