[update #13]

Mister Guy On The Elevator

I was standing in front of an elevator day minding my bees-nass the other day. All kinds of anticipation growing as I watched the floor numbers ticking down down down as the elevator raced towards it’s eventual prize (me). Then all of a sudden as the door opens – and I go to make the first of my (maybe) two and a half steps to enter – Mister Dude goes all the way around me and cuts into the car.

Everything became a bit blurry at that point – because I almost stepped on the guy trying to get in . . . and then I was snapped back to clarity with a speedy quickness as he pulled the biggest moop move that I have seen in at least a hot minute or two.

As I stepped into the threshold – he first hits floor 16 (sixteen) and then he flippin’ pressed “Close Door.”

I mean . . . “Close Door?!?!?!” He totally had no choice but to see me . . . It’s not like he hadn’t just pushed past me to get into the elevator. The worst part was that there was one other person coming in the elevator . . . who was forced into a cockeyed landing when the door nailed her side as she tried to scoot past.

And all I could do was stare daggers at his “I have soup that is better than your soup – probably – if you can even afford soup – you pitiful little person who doesn’t deserve in any way to be riding in my elevator” back.

So official today – the new protocol for if this situation ever happens again – is to immediately press (and probably hold) the “Open Door” button until the other person twitches a bit. If that isn’t enough . . . then measures will be taken to ship Special Agent Socks (Irving to you) in and have him pull some of his “my tongue in you soup” maneuvers.

The new style [part 2]

Shoot – shoot shoot – I wish that I had a proper before/after that I could put up – but those aren’t going to be done until the end of the month . . .

But just know – that I used (some sort of) gel and then brushed my hair yesterday – I look (pretty darn) ridiculous – aaannnddd I am going to try to keep it up for at least a couple of weeks – although I gotta admit – that this is going to be tough to pull off . . .

Ladies and Gentlemen . . .

The New Style!

(not quite) Friday Photo [#6]

Ants . . . Conundrum!

So – you guys know those little drawings of ants (did you even know that they were “ants”?!) that show up from time to time on this here place (site)?

Today I was just laughing and laughing because I figured that – since I sit in my huff making and making and making those things (which is much cheaper than therapy – or so I’ve heard – from a duck on the television – “Why a duck?” you may be thinking . . . exactly!) all of the time(s) – then certainly I must have plenty to go around – right?!

Well – (evidently) such is not the case – short cakes – because when I went to put one up on the site . . . all I got were tumbleweeds . . . no more angry little bugs to yell/threaten/whimper at/about stuff . . . which sent me into a right ferocious tizzy!

Where had they all gone?! I knew that they had been made – at least I thought that they had . . . at least I was pretty sure that they had . . . and then – after my pup (Irving B. Socks) and I gnashed our teeth in unison . . . all of the rest of the all of the rest were finally found!

Soooooooo – now I just have to scan the buggers in and all of (that kind of) fun can get to kick – kick – kicking again!

Yeah – so get off of that ledge there Charlie (completely made up person that you are) . . . because there is (almost always/usually) more to come!

The New Style

Soooooooooo – maybe – or probably maybe not – you are aware (or blissfully otherwise) that I look a little bit like a homeless mountain man (billy-goat-gruff) these days . . . and if you weren’t in the know – then I am glad that you have been brought up to speed.

The thing is that I haven’t gotten a haircut or shaved in a couple of months. Why and why you may be thinking?! Well – my good eggs . . . it is because I have been looking for the newest in new . . . the style in the style . . . and last night – I was struck by a bolt (in the night).

Hold onto your boots here campers – because what I am about to tell you is almost too much to bear (hee-hee – I look like a grizzly bear) . . . are you (are you) ready?!

I brushed my hair . . . and the results were simply startling. So the new plan is to get a minor trim and get the beard (moderately) tamed . . . and go from there . . . it is almost too exciting to talk about . . . I . . .

Hmmmm – I just went back and re-read the stuff that I have been writing – and (although I usually like to play these situations straight) man – this must have been a tough read . . . sorry about that . . . but trust me . . . when all of this stuff plays out – and you get to see the ridiculously good before/after shots . . . it is going to make it all worth-your-while . . . seriously!