Whenever people talk about how cute it is that their dog was smiling at this – or maybe even that – I have to shake my head. Because when my dog (Mister Irving Brown Socks) smiles . . . I know that bad – noxious – things are about to happen. Smiling leads to that crazy blurka-blurka-blurka stomach noise and then straight to a pool of foamy dog vomit – usually in the car.

See why I get skeeved when I hear about people’s dogs smiling . . .

Well – evidently – according to the customer service representative that I just called . . . my name is Mack. I guess that I could have have stopped or corrected her – but I was really just enjoying being called ‘Mack’ over and over and over again – I mean – who wouldn’t?!

An example: “Thank you for your time today Mack – has your experience with [company name redacted] customer service been helpful.”

Why yes – yes indeed it has.