Tag: voice acting

  • Bumperpodcast #430 – Season 3 – Private Eye

    Bumperpodcast #430 – Season 3 – Private Eye

    “Private Eye” is a thrilling and hilarious episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast set in the colorful world of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, Natty Bumpercar and Aloysius J. Pig encounter a Private Eye who is grappling with their own identity struggles. However, despite their personal challenges, the Private Eye agrees to lend a hand and help the duo track down the elusive Sir Reginald to retrieve the equipment needed for their podcast.

    “Private Eye” captures the essence of the Bumperpodcast, showcasing its ability to blend comedy and adventure in a whimsical setting. This episode will have you on the edge of your seat, eagerly awaiting each hilarious revelation and unpredictable turn of events. So buckle up and join Natty Bumpercar, Aloysius J. Pig, and the enigmatic Private Eye on their quest to recover their podcasting equipment and bring laughter back to the airwaves of Coffee-Can Alley.

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar


    About This Episode

    In episode 430 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar introduces a peculiar new character to help recover the show's stolen equipment. After Sir Reginald absconded with all their podcasting gear, Natty hires a Private Eye (or "Pie") found through an old yellow pages directory. Aloysious J. Pig is bewildered by the Private Eye's bizarre vocal affectations, ranging from pizza delivery man to questionable accents to an unsettlingly soft normal voice. The episode features hilarious discussions about technology, phone books, and the Private Eye's various character personas. Despite the Private Eye's off-putting demeanor and confused identity crisis, he agrees to take on the case to find Sir Reginald and restore the Bumperpodcast to its former glory.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I live in magic world, magic land, if you will. I'm basically a pig wizard.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “The voice is like the ghost of a marshmallow that fell into a vat of honey that was eaten by a sloth.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “You've really confused me, I don't know how I'm supposed to talk anymore. My whole career is ruined.”

    — Private Eye

    Topics: #privatedetective #stolenequipment #sirreginald #comedy #voiceacting #technology #yellowpages #disguises

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Private Eye, Natty Bumpercar, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: I'm feeling mighty aimless like your stoats too. I'm feeling pretty shameless like a prototoo. Uh, don't think I am blameless. Nah, man. Less, less, less. Yep. All of this is making me feel stressed, stressed, stressed. Who's that? Oh, no. This is where things usually go off the rails. Um, hello? Hey, who'd order some pizza pie, huh? What in the huckleberry hound? Who are you? I'd order the pizza pie. Who'd order the pizza pie? You called me up the pizza pie. I brought you the pizza pie. I, I, I don't know what's happening right now. I, no one here ordered any pizza pie and I don't recognize you and- Oh, you don't recognize me, huh? It's me, the private eye. Natty, I swear to you, if I could get to the door, I would leave right now. I do not understand what is happening. There are usually a lot of shenanigans here at the Bumper Podcast headquarters, wherever we are. Yeah. Yeah. But this is a little bit overboard. I agree. Who is this dude? I, I did, I don't know. I think, did you say you were a private, private eye? Yes, I did say that. I am not the private guy. I am the private guy. I'm a private, I'm the, the private eye. Okay. Okay. I, okay. Okay. I see what's happening here. Um, would you care to do a little splaining? Cause I don't, I don't know what, I don't know. You can, maybe, uh, tell me, tell me cause I'm in the room. Well, I've been feeling terrible that we haven't had a podcast forever because Sir Reginald stole everything. And I've been, and last week you guys seemed really sad. And so I was like, I got to get everything back. I gotta, I gotta fix this and I gotta make it right. And I didn't know what to do. And so I actually went, I found a yellow pages. What are yellow pages? What are you talking about? I, yeah, I forget you're young. So yellow pages before there was, uh, phones, iPhones and computers and Google and all, this stuff. If we wanted to find someone, if we wanted to like find anything, you had to go into a telephone book. What do you mean? It was like a book in the shape of a telephone or is it like, is it look like an, like a, like one of my mobile phones? Like, like this? No, no, no, no, no. Hey, uh, wait. And where did you get a mobile? Whose plan are you on? Are you on? We need to figure that out. Don't worry about it. Don't worry. No, it was just a book like a regular book that you would, uh, look through with words and it was all in alphabetical order. I don't, and there were, uh, people with their names and their telephone numbers and addresses and then it was also, uh, there was a section called the yellow pages where they would have, uh, businesses and stuff so you could find them. Oh, no, this sounds torturous. This has, it's just, how did anybody get anything done? I mean, at this point I have a hard time going from the couch to the refrigerator to, uh, to get a nice beverage. You know, that's a lot of effort for me. What I like to do is I look at my phone. And I say, hey, telephone. And then it, you know, and it's like, what can I do for you, pig? And then, uh, oh, no, I'm not doing it now, telephone, stop, it's okay. Your phone's doing it. But I say that phrase and, and, and then I say, please deliver me a nice, uh, delicious beverage, uh, uh, to the couch. And it does. Really? It's magic. It's basically, I live in, I live in magic world, magic land, if you will. I guess so, right? You're basically a pig wizard, uh, pig, pig, pig wizard. I've been standing here long enough, and I feel like you're ignoring me, so I'm going to say, hello. Wait, that dude's voice has changed. I didn't, is this your real voice? Can you, what is, what, what is your name? What is your business? What are you doing here? Well, people call me the Private Eye, but you can call me Pie. Wait, we're going to call you Pie? Like, like, P-I-E-E. What, why? I don't, I, Private Eye, I get. Pie, I do not understand. So, Pie is basically, I mean, it's just, you take, uh, whatever you want. You can have a savory pie, uh, or you can have, like, a, uh, a delicious fruit pie. I, I was talking about him. I was talking about him. Oh, you were talking about him. Yeah, not about actual pies, but, yeah. Yeah, okay, I get it. All right. I got confused. I'm hungry, if I'm to be honest. Yeah, okay, okay, ready? As you are. Okay, thank you. So, um, what is, P-I-E, Private Eye, what does the I stand for? You got it. You got the private, you got the I. The I stands for incredulous, incredible, intubatable. No, no, no, no. Intelligent. No, this doesn't. All the I words. I mean, it feels like you haven't fully fleshed out your character, and that's fine, but the I, I'm just, I'll call you Pie. Yeah. Or Private, I'm just gonna call you Private Eye. It's kind of ridiculous. So, my, my other question, uh, uh, Private Eye is, uh, um, your voice is very strange. Is that your real voice? Is that, is it some sort of an act? Hold on while I take off my costume! Oh! Look at me. No, now you look like the person in the picture. Now I recognize, yeah, okay, yeah, Aloysius, uh, this is the guy that I called, um. Okay, now I'm getting somewhere. So, um, he comes very well, um, reviewed. What's that, what's that noise? So, you know, I, I, I guess I'm gonna have to trust you. So, he, um. Okay. So, my other question, fine, now we know who he is, but the voice, it just seems, it, I don't know. Well, you are talking about my voice. That's because I am a master of all language arts. I, I guess I could see how that comes in handy in your line of work, especially with the whole costumes thing, um. Eh. I, I, would you like to hear my, uh, Russian voice? It's really embarrassing, Natty. I'm from the mother, I'm from Russia. Oh, no, no. You know, okay, let me help you out, okay? That's terrible. Like, that's really not good. You know, it's a dialect, but now you want to, you're going to hear my, uh, French, uh, my French, my French. Your French voice. Hold on one second. I just have to get ready. Ah, ah, ah. I'm French. No, you're not. No. One day, two day, Wednesday. No, no. This is a Thursday. Why are you doing the days of the week? What is that? Listen, Pi, can you, I, these voices are terrible and, and, and, and borderline problematic. Can you please just, what is your, can you talk to us in your normal, whatever, whatever your normal voice is, just, you know, like, we're just three, uh, people hanging out. Hey, in a room, and then you're going to just talk to us, okay? Okay. Are you sure that you want me to do that? Absolutely. A hundred percent. One thousand million. A hundred percent. We're sure. Please just talk to us in your…

    Private Eye: Oh, hi. Hi, everybody. Oh, no. Yeah, this is my normal voice. No.

    Aloysious J. Pig: It's just… No.

    Private Eye: It's just… This is… So, yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Okay, this is, that was, I actually, that made my skin, like, I, skin is crawling. Like, I feel like… Ooh. Somebody just threw cold water on me or something.

    Private Eye: Yeah, I get that a lot. You know, a lot of people, they say that, uh, my voice is off-putting. Okay. And I can't disagree with them.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I, um, am hesitant to do this, but I also, I have goosebumps. And, you know, you talk how you talk, and that's totally fine. You should be proud of how you, who you are and how you talk. Um, but maybe… Ah. Could we just do, like, a toned-down version of the pizza man that when you first came in, I think that would be maybe okay with, with, with me. Oh, you've had a shot. Here we go. Okay, thanks, thanks, thanks. Tell me if this is okay. I, it seems better, but just, you don't have to do, like, the, the affectations, like the tell, uh, me. You can just say tell me, and I think we'll be okay with that. I will work on it. It's difficult to… I… Pull my characters down. I've spent a lifetime building them. Okay, you sound, you sound like… Like what? A little bit like a robot in Sicily, which is okay. Look at, you know, Sicily, look at you. So, Natty, what did… Yeah, sorry. What did you, what did you hire this private eye for? So, huh, um, when we were at our storage unit, and Sir Reginald came, and he claimed all of our podcasting equipment, that was, like, a while ago. And we haven't been able to do the Bumper Podcast, and in theory, I have exciting news that's coming up, um, but it's not gonna happen if I don't have, if we don't have podcasting equipment. Um, so we need to, we need somebody to help us, because I've looked, I don't know how to find Sir Reginald. You know, there's, I looked through the phone book. That you looked through the phone book from, like, 20 years ago, and you didn't, you didn't come up? Did you, didn't he set his alphabet, alphabetical, did you look under Sir, or Reginald, Sir Reg, like, what do you… That, um, yeah, it's not gonna work. Yeah, the phone book is a good idea to… You, you're, you've become a real amalgam. I feel like you've gotten lost in, in your characters. You've, you've, you, you're maybe embarrassed of how you talk, and, and so you've created all these other characters to, uh, express yourself through? That's, that's, that's rough. It is, um, also a part of… Oh, no, I, hmm, I can't, like, it's…

    Private Eye: You've really confused me, I don't know how I'm supposed to talk anymore, how I didn't feel like… My whole career is ruined.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, you know what, a lot of people who come on this podcast say the exact same thing. They're like, oh, I was doing so good in my career, and then I got booked on the Bumper Podcast, and then all of a sudden, uh, the phones, uh, stopped ringing, the doors stopped knocking, the people stopped coming, and everything. No. Went away. Come on. And so it's, we, I get it. I get it. That's not fair. There, there's, there's so many people who have been on the podcast who, who have just, you know, exploded into fame, into the stratosphere, into the universe. They've just gone on to be… Could you name, uh, one? Yes. One, maybe. Okay, um, one. Um, uh, uh, Peanut Lou, uh, was, uh, he was in a commercial for one of those, those beds that can lit… That can, like, lift up from the back. Remember that? It was like a cat bed, and it would lift, and it would get hot and cold and everything. Are they the Purrty Beds? Yes. See, Pig? He, he knows Purrty Beds. I totally forgot about Purrty Beds. What was their tagline? No. They'll have, oh, they'll have you feelin'. Feline. Feline. Fine. Yeah. It's just, I don't know, right? Fine. You got one. Purrty Beds. Feline. Fine. It, it was a lot of wordplay. A lot of puns. He did great in that commercial. Anyway, back to the task at hand. We need our podcast equipment. Private Eye over here is obviously a master of disguise and different characters, and hopefully has the detective skills to do exactly what we need so that we can get the show back on the road. You, you sounded like you were doing the build to the end of the podcast so it would end right at road, but you did, you missed it by like 40 seconds. Just, all right. Yeah. So. Try harder. Look at the clock. Um, yes. So Private Eye. You gonna, are you gonna do this for us? You gonna find Sir Reginald? Are you gonna help us get the bumper podcast back together?

    Private Eye: You're incredibly lucky that I'm gonna take this case on and we are gonna get things done. Okay. As I'm the best Private Eye than the whole of Coffee Cane Alley.

    Aloysious J. Pig: The voice is like the ghost of a marshmallow. That fell into a vat of honey. That, that would, that was eaten by a sloth.

    Natty Bumpercar: The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty bumper car and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, we're here to help. If you want to support our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at HTTPS colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty bumper car. Also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Cane Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by us. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty bumper car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumper car dot com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty bumper car. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    Producer: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

    Private Eye: This has been a non-productive media presentation.

  • Bumperpodcast #419 – Season 2 – Technical Difficulties

    Bumperpodcast #419 – Season 2 – Technical Difficulties


    We haven’t had technical issues like this in quite a while. Hold onto your bricks!

    The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Another story about saving baby animals!

    A feel good story!

    Previous episode!


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    Natty Bumpercar 0:04
    Let’s see what happens next. No one is ever really sure what happens until it actually happens. For instance, this morning I woke up which is normally something that I would completely expect to have happen. However, things were not as they normally seem. Things are not as they normally appear. Things were not as they normally should base

    Aloysius J. Pig 0:35
    about. I’m really diggin the new voice. But here’s the thing, I’m convinced. Hey, everybody, it’s me. Aloysius jpg, this is the bumper podcast. You might be listening on Montclair radio, what the heck? Radio Free Montclair, or you might be listening. You in your podcast, CATIA, suburban Essex magazine, were in it. What’s up? Okay. Anyway, Bubba. The voice is great. But I’m pretty sure you’re you’re only doing it that long? Because you’re afraid you’re gonna lose it.

    Natty Bumpercar 1:12
    I don’t I don’t know.

    God pig, why did you distract me? I don’t know. I’d love that. That was a fun character that I was doing a fun voice.

    And I don’t

    like I lost it. Now now

    Rufus T. Rufus 1:30
    that you understand that in order for you to put a proper copyright on to a voice. You can’t do that unless you get it on tape for more than a minute and a half. And I don’t I believe you all need about 27 seconds. So if you can’t figure out whatever that was, was and you can’t you’re not gonna be able to tell it’s not your voice.

    Natty Bumpercar 1:53
    Yes, fine. I understand. Well, okay, great, fine. So now now what’s going to happen is we’re going to go through the rest of this podcast, and I’m going to be freaking out that I can’t figure out how to do this voice. And then I’ll go back and I’ll listen to this podcast. It’s at 27 seconds, and see if I can figure it out. That’s what that’s what’s gonna happen right

    Producer 2:16
    now. It’s me, producer. And I was wondering, I could maybe go back to the time of you making these funny voice and we could maybe do some time something with it. And maybe you could I don’t know. Look, you got a little bit louder. That’s what we were hoping for. Good. We could maybe see if we could maybe extended Yamani Tammany seconds do you need exactly I don’t know. I

    Natty Bumpercar 2:48
    think Rufus said a minute and a half so that’s what how many there’s how many seconds are there in a minute, guys?

    Aloysius J. Pig 2:57
    I’m trying to I don’t know. I didn’t know it’s gonna be a quiz. I didn’t know there was going to be some sort of a math quiz. So we’re seconds and a minute how many is there some sort of device we could ask or something like that? How many seconds? I dang a minute.

    Spot Elliot 3:16
    Oh, no. Man. seconds there already in a minute. I heard somebody come on in and please to to be telling me.

    Natty Bumpercar 3:33
    That was that was spot Elliot. I haven’t seen I haven’t heard spot Elliot on this podcast. So log in spot. Elliot is a cat. He’s best friends with peanut Lu. And he has such a deep voice. I don’t I don’t know. Wow,

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:49
    did you sleep last night? Because, okay, first off, this podcast is very much off the rails as it tends to be. You’d never even said your name. You didn’t say well, I already took care of the the ID. But also, you know, your voices.

    Natty Bumpercar 4:06
    I don’t know. There’s a lot of strange things happening is all I’m saying. No, I know. I know. I hear that you have a funny echo going on with. So we went on vacation and we came back and the studio was all broken down like taken apart. And now everything just sounds kind of weird. And it feels kind of strange. And producer. I don’t know if you set everything up the way it was supposed to be set up.

    Producer 4:33
    Never be please. You know, don’t don’t be throwing your Don’t be pointing your flippers at me. You know, I know I’m the producer. But I didn’t break everything down. I don’t know why we even took it apart because the studios usually just always here. So whoever came in and did all the wires and move the microbiome, you know, those are the stuff the Knott’s Berry Yeah, Ryan we should talk to I don’t but I don’t know who it was because I don’t handle stuff like that.

    Natty Bumpercar 5:00
    No yeah I understand I’m just looking at everything I Hey everyone I hope you’re this is I don’t know if this is moderately interesting or just terrible for you but I apologize that we’re you know, we’re gonna do it live we’re gonna do it live so there’s this is where the wire goes into there and that wire goes up there and the wire goes all the way over there and those are that’s connected and that that’s turned on there and then that goes from there to that you know i Everything seems like it’s it’s it’s properly set up but I don’t know this there I’m getting weird echoes I’m getting strange voices from nowhere my

    Spot Elliot 5:43
    Nomi for the cartoon called super special where I was with my friend Lou and we were in a diner and we ordered this super special

    Aloysius J. Pig 5:55
    we interviewing you not why? Listen spot Elliott it’s nice if you’ve stopped by but today might not be the best day because we’re having all kinds of technical issues. So maybe we can rebook him producer or is that do even book guests? It’s just such an open door policy where people just show up I don’t even know anymore.

    Producer 6:13
    Nothing yelping yard because he people can, they can reach out to me and then I can schedule a you know, a visit and appointments and interviews and whatnot like that. And you know, that’s normally how he does it. It’s not these people did, showing up. I don’t think

    Rufus T. Rufus 6:30
    it’s children. It’s recently come here from the northern ball to check in on you. It’s August. And the year is almost halfway done. And we’re coming in soon to the full season. And I need to know if everyone has been good or bad. And of course, you know, I need this for my list. So I can come down the chimneys, and deliver presents to everyone.

    Natty Bumpercar 6:57
    No, no, Santa. It’s I don’t know why you’re here, but it’s great to see you. Should we just scrap this? Can we throw this episode away? Is that something that? No, after five minutes, we have to keep it Wow. Okay, I’m finally got all these rules today. Hey, everyone, so it’s me Natty Bumpercar We went away, we went to a place called Cape Cod, which is the beach and there was there was sand. Because that’s, you know, kind of what happens on the beach. And it was very nice. But evidently, while we were gone, there was there was some work done here in the studio. Very exciting work. We now have heat and air conditioning. So that’s I years in the making very exciting here in the bumper barn. Where the studio is that we have a climate controlled situation, unfortunately, I guess the everything was moved around and changed up and now it doesn’t work the way it used to. That’s fine. That’s the perils of podcasting. You know, and a lot of times what people will do is actually run a test episode but not not here. Because evidently, if it’s content if it comes out on 10 is

    Rufus T. Rufus 8:23
    King

    Producer 8:24
    suicides you are looking

    Rufus T. Rufus 8:25
    for the king because the king can come in at any time. You may need him the king is already for yourself. I didn’t I didn’t even know we had a king this is all news to me. Natalie I thought because you know us were in that little crown a little hot with a little crown. I kind of thought that maybe you were the king or something but maybe not. I don’t know how that works. But we I think we need to gather ourselves a bit maybe have a staff meeting and I sound like a car engine run on.

    Natty Bumpercar 9:10
    Can we just stop recording for a minute and see if we can figure out the levels and the echo and then we’ll come back Okay, let’s try that. Okay, I

    Producer 9:18
    think that maybe see what that sounds like.

    Natty Bumpercar 9:21
    Honestly, it sounds much better but I think that we’re now spiking about

    Aloysius J. Pig 9:25
    what is spiking me What is that like podcasting technical time or something?

    Natty Bumpercar 9:30
    Just cuz there’s these levels, the sound levels when you’re recording audio, which podcasting is typically an audio medium, but now it’s more video two, which I don’t even want to wrap my head around. But so producer can can you show him the computer so he can see the little waves and then you can see what I’m talking

    Producer 9:49
    about. We just do a see on this screen here the monitor which is a screen which is I don’t know why is your mind and you’re monitoring your computers. I don’t know. Anyway, it’s so The thing is little lines here that you can see when I talk, you see me talking, and it’s going into the little thing. And it’s making little wavy things and lines and whatnot. And so the problem is before it was too hot, the microphone was too hot to touch. It is too hot. It’s like a it’s like an oven. So you could give it to too many lines. Basically.

    Rufus T. Rufus 10:20
    I feel like maybe we got our stuff kind of figured out. But we’re not going to mention that we’re not even going to acknowledge that Santa Claus was here. And he’s not here anymore. But that was very strange. He just kind of popped in. And he also said something we had about August being halfway through the year. I think we can all agree August is well into the latter part, you’re

    Natty Bumpercar 10:46
    going to fall I always have a hard time with former in ladder. I don’t I can’t ever figure it out when people were like, give me a list. They’re like, which one do you prefer? Well, I prefer the former and I’m just like, I don’t know what that beads. Do you just tell me which one? Hey, act like a act like this guy over here doesn’t know. And can you just tell us which restaurant Did you wanted to go to? Also, yeah, that was strange that Santa came but I am thrilled that the I think we finally get the podcast back on track. Excellent job producer. I’m really that’s for you to do that while recording. I don’t know how you did it. But I guess you just kind of moved some knobs around and everything and made it all sounds so much better. So I think you from for me and for the listeners, of course. So now this is exciting. Let’s guess we can actually have a podcast. Oh, wonderful. I

    Aloysius J. Pig 11:41
    wonder what we should talk about. We could talk about vacation. We could talk about how it was so high. Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar 11:47
    I mean, there’s so we could talk about the summer doldrums, which I don’t know if some people know but Okay, so let’s go ahead and start the podcast. Is is is is everybody is everybody ready?

    Outro 12:09
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

    NonPro 13:29
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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  • Bumperpodcast #325 – Invisalign

    Bumperpodcast #325 – Invisalign

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    Holy cow! It is episode number 325. What a milestone! But – wait. Does everyone sound a little bit odd to you?! Listen to see!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     


    About This Episode

    In episode 325 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and the entire cast grapple with an unexpected side effect of their new Invisalign aligners. What was supposed to be an invisible teeth-straightening solution becomes a comedy of dental denial as Natty, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, and Robot all insist they sound exactly the same while clearly struggling to speak normally. Natty shares the trials of constant teeth brushing, living on water, and the horror of discovering that "buttons" are actually sharp epoxy spikes attached to your teeth. The episode celebrates the show's milestone 325th episode while the cast navigates lisps, extra spittle, and the realization that their voices have definitely changed, despite what the dentist promised.

    Memorable Quotes

    “They call them buttons which sounds adorable I would love to have buttons on my teeth… what buttons turn out to be are these little stalactites stalagmite sharp pointy just spikes of epoxy on your teeth.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “This will be known as the period of the Bumper Podcast where everybody sounded a little bit off. A little bit interesting.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “Robot, you sound like you're from either the future or space or robot heaven… It sounds like your mouth is full of angel horns.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #invisalign #dentalhealth #self-consciousness #podcastmilestone #comedy #contracts #voiceacting

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: uh hey hey everybody it's me it's me nary bumper car and um so this is episode this is episode 325 and um that's huge that's a big episode what yeah no i i don't think i'm i'm not talking different at all why would you ask that what well listen no it's just that guys i got um braces invisalign i got invisalign they're not braces i guess they're like plastic trays that go onto my mouth and um i got it last well three days ago and um everything is weird and everything is different and i don't eat food and i only drink water and um now i'm super self-conscious about how i talk and um yeah it's pretty awesome you know it's good why why would i get it well because i had some teeth that were cracked because something like the way that my jaw was setting or sitting or something and uh it was also there's some weird gum stuff happening i don't really understand it i just kind of go to the dentist and i they say things and i shake my head sure sure but i was like hey guys this isn't gonna make me sound any different is it and they were like no of course it's not gonna make you sound any different and i was like good because i you know what i talk i talk for a living i just kind of i do i love talking talking so i just wanted to make sure i didn't i didn't sound any

    Producer: different but um i was worried about because i got the invisalign too if it would make me sound any different than it uh but they said it doesn't affect your voice at all so it's good you know it's good it's a little bit tight on my teeth but uh it's overall i think it's a pretty good experience so uh yeah you know do you think i sound different my teeth are gonna be nice and straight no i don't think i sound different i think you sound exactly the same okay okay i wasn't sure all right am i right come on yeah i think you sound

    Natty Bumpercar: exactly the same too like i don't hear any difference in how you're speaking at all so this is working oh

    Rufus T. Rufus: hello there boom this is very difficult hold on a second let me just uh adjust my my jill but here everyone this is Rofresh teeth Rofresh and uh according to the contract i was able to get uh five invisaligns for the price of one and i made them sign and seal and deliver a piece of paper understand because i am the lawyer for here at headquarters for the bumper podcast i made them sign a letter that stated that no one's voice would sound different because of course we are in the business of making noises with our mouths you understand podcasting you understand standoff comedy you understand comedy you understand comedy you understand comedy you cartoons, and whatnot, such as that. There's a lot more spittle in my mouth, is what I've noticed. There's a lot more jumble, you know, just jumbles and jambles and such as that. Episode, excuse me, I do not like to pucker up on the microphone like that. Episode 325, Natty Bumpergut, congratulations for making it to episode 325. We have brought you this, hold on a second, gift that I will purchase, that I will find, hold on one second.

    Natty Bumpercar: Guys, I can't even believe you guys got me a gift that I, I do think, I mean, like, to my ear, it sounds a little, a little bit different.

    Producer: I mean, maybe it's just ghosts. Yeah, right? Just like a little,

    Natty Bumpercar: just a tiny bit different. I don't know. It might just be, I might be stuffed up or something.

    Producer: Well, it's terrible. Problems are ceasing outside right now. So it could be dead, of course. But, you know, what Rufus was talking about with the present, we, you know, all came together. We all gathered together in the break room and we were like, that's a lot of episodes, 325 episodes. And so, you know, we thought, oh, hey, we're saved by the door.

    Doodle Poodle: It's a big little problem. It's a little problem. Oh, I can't, I don't know. I can't. I also got a universal life. So it's in my mouth. And they're not a sponsor. So I don't think we should keep saying their name. But I'm very excited, you said, to have straight teeth. That look like little pearls in my mouth. And I just wonder, I can't even talk. You know what I'm gonna do? Is I'm gonna go over, it's me, doodle poodle. I couldn't say it before. But now I'm able to say it a little bit easier. So anyway, I'm gonna probably make a doodle. Something exciting. Like somebody who has pearls in their mouth instead of teeth. I don't think you, I think you guys sound not this, I think you guys sound totally the same. So anyway. Thanks TP. This is kind of cool.

    Natty Bumpercar: Alright, he sounded more down than I think I've ever heard him. He sounded kind of confused. and I get a little bit worried and like a little bit so like listen Invisalign right what do they do they take molds of your see it hurts I don't think it's supposed to hurt they take um they took molds of my mouth with this goo stuff and then they sent the goo to the place and I guess they made um little they call them trays and these trays are the shape of your teeth and so then um they uh make they make they put they say hey we're gonna put some buttons on your teeth they call them buttons which sounds adorable I would love to have buttons on my teeth that sounds like the coolest new trend hey did you get your buttons on your teeth oh man I don't do those until spring okay whatever but that's what they said they said all right time to put the buttons on you I'm like yay buttons and so what buttons turn out to be are these little stalactites stalagmite sharp pointy just spikes of enamel on your teeth and maybe not enamel epoxy epoxy is what I was trying to say and so they they put them on certain spots and then they flash this blue light and then the blue light goes in and it makes them hard like super hard you stuck your tooth so then the trays can hold on and adjust your how your uh your your teeth uh but so you had to pop them in you got to pop them out and I don't it's done something cool where I don't eat anymore like I eat once really in a day and I don't like to snack because I have to take them out whenever you eat snacks and then you have to brush your teeth and it's just constant tooth brushing I uh I drink a lot more water than I used to and I don't like to eat a lot of water

    Rufus T. Rufus: I was going to say that you do look a little bit blue there, Aloysius J. Peters. For me, I'm extremely self-conscious about how I look. You can understand by the way I dress, by the way I walk, by the way I move, by the way I talk. So this is a big change for me. Maybe I can make it through. It's only 10 weeks, 10 episodes of the Bumper Podcast where you guys are going to… This will be known as the period of the Bumper Podcast where everybody sounded a little bit off. A little bit interesting.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, so, as far as the whole sounding different thing, honestly, I do. I know I do. But if I focus on it, then I can kind of get it better. But I actually have to do mental gymnastics and make my mouth move a little bit differently to sound the way it normally sounds. And it's kind of, there's an imperceptible, like, there's a lisp. There's a little bit of a… A drag on how I speak. And there's a little bit more air in it. I listen to these things. That's how I figure out how to make silly voices. But my wife was like, the first night, she was like, Oh, you don't sound different. You don't sound different at all. And I was like, but I do. I know I do. And I have to, like, shape my mouth differently. Like, these are interesting, weird things that I have to do. And then the next day, I was talking to her on the phone. And she's like, oh, I was watching this show. And there's a comment. A commentator. One of the guys on the show. And he must have had Invisalign. And I was like, wait, why? What do you mean? She was like, well, he sounded like you. And I was just like, but you said yesterday that I don't sound different. And now you said I do. It's all lies. It's a house of lies. So, you know, it's fine. It sounds different. That part, I'm not worried about. The annoyance of the constantly popping mouth. Not constantly. Twice. Twice a day. Like, I ate lunch. I ate lunch. And then maybe I'm going to eat a snack later. That's it. Water. All the time. Because I just don't. They're like, the trays are going to capture the bad stuff. And I'm like, I don't want bad stuff on my teeth. Oh, hey.

    Robot: Hey, everybody. It's me, Robot. And I also received I was the fifth member of the Invisalign Club. So, I don't think I sound different at all. Do you?

    Natty Bumpercar: Robot, you sound like you're from either the future or space or robot heaven. You sound completely like I listen to a pig and I listen to Rufus and I listen to Doodle Poodle and myself, obviously. We all understand what's going on with our mouths. But you, I feel like there's a lack of self-aware. You sound like a celestial robot being right now. Right. That's how you sound. It sounds like your mouth is full of angel horns. No, no, no. Or something like that.

    Robot: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was told that I would sound exactly the same. Why, I have a commercial gig coming up very soon. A voiceover commercial gig where I'm in a robot sausage factory and I have to speak to the camera. I can't sound different. I have a contract.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, did somebody say something about a contract? Because as I said. I have it in writing and it is stamped. It is annotated and it is authorized that we will not sound different. So I suppose I'm going to have to sound it up to somebody and say a few words.

    Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, that time you didn't sound anything like yourself whatsoever. I think that the invisible line is messing with everyone. Hey, we made it to 325 episodes.

    Doodle Poodle: Woo-hoo. Yeah, we did it. Woo-hoo.

  • Bumperpodcast #302 – This Sock Rocks!

    Bumperpodcast #302 – This Sock Rocks!

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. We have a great interview, some call-ins, and we finally have a Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    It’s almost too much to bear – isn’t it? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    And – don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

    Oh – and – our special guest this week is Sock Cop!

    Go to these places to find Sock:

    Website: http://www.sockcoprocks.com/
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/jasonburglar
    Periscope: https://www.periscope.tv/sockcop/
    Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQgPHeuIrHIqr4FFu9M0TmQ
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sockcoprocks/

     

     

     


    About This Episode

    In episode 302 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar waxes poetic about clouds before diving into an eventful week. With one of the kids at the grandparents' house, Natty shares a hilarious story about terrorizing his son with tales of a spider wielding utensils. The episode features an extended interview where Aloysius J. Pig sits down with returning guest Asak Cop, a speed-catching police officer from Mobile, Alabama. The two discuss everything from street naming conventions to disco dancing after writing tickets, RV Garfield paintings, and the art of the intimidation strut. Natty also addresses a listener question about how Pig's distinctive voice came to be, leading to a spirited discussion about puppet voices and creative inspiration.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I was like he the spider the spider just pointed at me with one of his arms and then he pointed towards the door with his other arm he's emphatically asking me to leave the room”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I do a little dance whenever I write a good ticket. That's just me. I don't have to go to like a discotheque or anything.”

    — Asak Cop

    “I've been talking this way my entire life ever since I was a little bitty pig a little bitty baby pig you know I was raspy and I had an accent”

    — Aloysius J. Pig

    Topics: #interviews #puppetry #parenting #voiceacting #comedy #spiders #police #creativeprocess

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Look up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. It can be anything at all in the world you want it to be. It's a cloud. If you're lonely, just look up. You've got a best friend. If you're hungry, just look up. You've got a sandwich. Is it a cumulonimbus? Is it a stratus? I have no idea whatsoever. To me, it looks like a bunny rabbit. A free movie in the sky. Thanks, clouds. Thanks for everything. Thanks for everything. We didn't get any calls this week. I was kind of sad about it. There is one call. There's an interview. And in the interview, I talk about the call because I'm not sure if I'm legally allowed to use it. Oh, intrigue. Oh, bumper car. What are you talking about? Well, I feel like someone might have accidentally called in the call-in number. And then it's like a… I'm going to go four to six minutes. You can just hear people talking in a room. Leaving a message. I mean, they do leave a message, but it doesn't pertain to anything. And it doesn't… They're not talking to me. And so I feel like maybe that's not appropriate to use. And also, there's nothing exciting in the conversation. Like, if they were like, you know, hey, here's the thing. In the boxing race, you know, like, you've got to put all your money on the other guy. Or whatever, like… And I would be like, oh, well, I've got to share this with the Bumper Podcast. So that they know they've got to put all their money on the other guy. And, uh, but there's not even that. It's just like, there's some boxes moving around, maybe. And there's some, uh, there's just like, you know, Phillip. Phillip took the week off last week. Phillip, did you hear about him? Took the week off last week. And it's just like that kind of stuff. I ain't nobody. I ain't nobody. And a lot of this kind of unintelligible stuff. So, uh, yeah. I think I'm just going to not play that one. Um, hopefully next week, though, I will get more calls. Because I do love the calls. So, if you do want to call, um, then you, of course, know that the phone number is… 646-847-7976. Again. And I will tell you this later as well. But it's 646-847-7976. That's the call. Call the Bumper Podcast and leave a message. Um, I've been told, though, I don't have an outgoing message. Which is so rude of me. To, for me to ask you to call in and talk to me. And I'm not giving you any, anything. So, I'm going to fix that this week. Um, it's just a constant fixing. The Bumper Podcast is basically like a house. Like, you buy a house and then you're like, oh, look, I gotta fix the windows. Oh, no, I gotta fix the walkway. Oh, no, the roof is leaking. Oh, no, look, the refrigerator. Like, that's what the Bumper Podcast is. And every time you fix something, you turn your head. Something else is broken. And then by the time you get around to fixing everything, guess what? You gotta start off at the beginning again. Um, exciting news this week. The kid, one of the kids is gone. He is at his grandparents' house. We have a week of rest. Uh, one kid? So easy! Two kids? Oh! Not as easy. Not as easy at all. Um. He left yesterday, and I mean, he's gone until Saturday, so it's amazing. It's the best. Uh, but we have an interview coming up. Um, and after the interview, I've got a funny story to tell you about something that happened with him that I think it was, it, I still crack up when I think about it. So I want to make sure to record it so that I remember it when I'm old and living in a cave. Uh, because that's my assumption is that when I'm older, I'm probably going to just have all the Bumper Podcasts on cassette tapes, and, uh, I will fumble around on the shelves, and I'll be like, I want to find that story, the story that I told that one day about the child. Um, so, um, I'm not going to tell you what it's about, though. But what I will tell you is Pig's interview this week, he's doing great with these interviews, by the way, BT Dubs, uh, is, is a lot of fun. Again, I don't want to give it away, but it is someone who has been on the show before, and no, it is not Adam Lucidi again. No, he is always welcome. So, sit back, get ready, get right. Ladies and gentlemen, here is the next Pig interview. All right, hey everybody, it's me, Aloysius J. Pig, and I'm here for my interview show, and this is an episode like 303, and that means I'm three for three, uh, outside the key, you know me. Um, and today we have a fun dude on, he's actually been on the show a couple of times, I think. Uh, he's been on the show a couple of times, I think. Uh, you, I seem to like him a lot. He's really fun to talk to. I enjoy talking to him. You enjoy listening to him, which should make for a good interview show. As long as we don't run out of steam, which makes me a little bit nervous. I, you know, I don't want to open the kettle to see how much steam there is. I'm assuming there's a lot of steam for the interview. We shall see. Ladies and gentlemen, he didn't hear any of this, I don't think. Give it up, uh, for the one, the only, Mr. Asak Cop. Hello, Asak, how you doing?

    Unknown: How's it going there, Pig? Good to see you. Good to see you, my friend. It's good to talk to you again.

    Natty Bumpercar: It is amazing to talk to you. I mean, we haven't talked in so long. How you been?

    Unknown: Oh, yeah, it's been a little while. I've been doing fantastic. I've just been out here catching the speeders, you know. They've been keeping me busy. The summertime, everybody, I think the heat down here, it's very hot down here in the south. Very hot, yeah. Out to the south coast where I live. And I think the heat makes people want to get out of it real fast. You know what I mean? So people start driving real fast and I got to stop them real fast. Where they going? I don't know. I don't know where they're going. Some of them said they go to the beach. Some of them go to the beach. There's a water park. Yeah. It's a very popular place. Some of them just, you know, go to the post office or something like that.

    Natty Bumpercar: Now, where you live, is there like one of them roads that goes all around the town like a donut?

    Unknown: No, no, no. No, that's a, that, you get those in cities that were like sort of planned out.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh.

    Unknown: See, Bradley, I live down here. It's down in Mobile. Basically, what happened is somebody way back in the days, in the pioneer days, had him a tent. Okay. And he was like, I'll just put the tent. And then another person came by. I was like, hey, this place looks cool. I'll just put a tent here too. And it just kept going from there. So they just kept building stuff. And they're like, hey, we need some more stuff. So they just built a road. Yeah. And then there's no plan to it at all. So there ain't no grid? No, there's no grid. The roads are all like sneaky little snakes just going this way and that way. Are they all named the same thing? No, they're not named the same thing. They're just named basically just after somebody.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. Okay. Because I'm from Georgia originally where everything is like, I'm going to be down on Peach Street. Oh, did you mean Peach Lane? No, I meant Peach Avenue. Bro, were you on Peach Circle last night? And you're just like, I don't know these peaches. I can't keep up.

    Unknown: No, I'm at Peach Tree.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, there's a lot of peach trees too. Like, that's a big differentiator. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, I was on a corner of Peach Tree Avenue and Peach Street. And you're like, bro, I can't even talk to you no more.

    Unknown: That's how you can tell. There's peach people and there's peach three people.

    Natty Bumpercar: Peach three?

    Unknown: No, peach three. Don't make fun of my speech impediment, pig.

    Natty Bumpercar: I didn't. I thought we were counting all of a sudden. Oh, yeah. Pizza one. Pizza one. That's what I was doing too. We just bumped our heads getting into the same joke.

    Unknown: We was rushing there.

    Natty Bumpercar: I think I got a concussion. Speaking of Russian sock-off. No, I'm just kidding. I don't get political. So, I got an A. So, sock cop. Now, most cops I know, they got rankings. Like, rank and file. Is you like a private or a detective or a wizard? What kind of sock are you? What level?

    Unknown: I do like wizard. I wish. I don't know. Maybe I could become a wizard.

    Natty Bumpercar: They give you a cool hat with that.

    Unknown: No, I'm sort of my own.

    Natty Bumpercar: You shall not pass.

    Unknown: I get a big, like, stick with a big glass thing at the top that shoots lightning out and stuff.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's how you check the. Speed is you have to look through the orb, the orb, the orb of speeding tone.

    Unknown: I would do any job that you get that. Here's your magical orb. I think I would take that job.

    Natty Bumpercar: I think they're getting away. Someone called a Kraken and pick them up quick. Is there a Kraken on the force? I don't know.

    Unknown: There's no crack. No, there's no crack. We are. We are like it's next to the sea, but we're not under the sea. So, so a Kraken wouldn't do much good.

    Natty Bumpercar: Don't get it. Don't don't be don't think don't that song.

    Unknown: That's exactly right. Yeah, outside.

    Natty Bumpercar: We have something. Some. I don't know. No words.

    Unknown: I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: Under the sea. Yes, I don't.

    Unknown: But I'm says I like to think it's stuck in the head.

    Natty Bumpercar: But since you have a lot of questions for you, do you know anything about just like a blue line of silence? Like, you know what that is?

    Unknown: The blue line of silence.

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't know. That's what I heard. Is this like so police officers protect their own and all that? So it is this. Oh, yeah. Hey, there's a code here. Blue line of silence. I live in cop land.

    Unknown: You know, I think I love you talk like a like a NYPD blue type of type of game like that. Some sort of TV police thing.

    Natty Bumpercar: Shung shung that is that in my pity blue?

    Unknown: No, I don't think so. I think that's a different one. I think that was chips.

    Natty Bumpercar: I think as long as it wasn't dance cops or whatever it was.

    Unknown: No, no, no.

    Natty Bumpercar: So do you have two guys ever go dancing, you and your police friends?

    Unknown: You know, we never all go dancing together. I do a little dance whenever. Whenever I write a good ticket. Oh, really? That's just me. Yeah, I mean, I don't have to go to like a discotheque or anything. I just sort of do that on my own, you know?

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, your car has all those cool lights on it. So like once you pull over to a person in front of you, it's like sweating, freaking out. And you're just like, oh, yeah, yeah. That's what I get built up. Yeah, I'm going to give you a ticket. I'm going to get my book out. Going to look you up. Going to look you up. Take you to jail. Oh, here we go. Oh,

    Unknown: but I don't do that because because I have to have to have to do the the strut up to the car. If I'm too pumped up, I can't strut properly. I have you ever. I mean, you've been you've been pulled. Everybody pretty much has been pulled over at some point. All right.

    Natty Bumpercar: I've been pulled over. Up here, which we don't have enough time to say pulled over. So we just go, yeah, I got pulled the other day.

    Unknown: Oh, you just go, oh, you got pulled over.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. And then the cop is like, hey, I'll get me. I'm pulled pork. And I'm like, oh, stop it. What are you doing? It's not nice.

    Unknown: That's not that's insulting to both of you.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. I'm like, you're making puns on me. What are you, a ponzo or something like? I don't know.

    Unknown: No, that's not good. But you know, whenever you get pulled over, there's the strut. You got to let up, sit, sit and sweat for a little bit. Yeah. And then you got to just sort of slowly stroll up to the car like that. You can't you can't be rushing up like you just coming out of some sort of German techno festival. No, you know, you got to just waltz up to him. You know, that's how you get the intimidation.

    Natty Bumpercar: You still got glitter on your uniform or whatever.

    Unknown: Carrying a glow stick. You still got the pacifier. You can't do that. You've lost the game if you do that.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's going to wreck the whole thing. You know, people are going to look at you and be like, I'm just going to go now. And they're like, you can't go.

    Unknown: I'm still giving you a ticket. You know?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. But they but they won't believe me. And then they take you to court and then they'll be like, well, sir, he he did have a pacifier in his mouth. And they'll be like, case dismissed. And then they'll be like, well, you know what? You can't go. I'm still giving you a ticket. You know?

    Unknown: Yeah. But they but they won't believe me. And then I don't. And then, you know, I'm laughing stock of the whole force.

    Natty Bumpercar: I have a picture of this on my dash cam or whatever. Those little cameras.

    Unknown: They have to. Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Yeah. Those dash cam things. Those are fun. And the the judge is looking at and he's like, I'm sorry, Mr. Sarkar. But is you wearing a pacifier? Hold on. I'm doing my sudden voice. Oh, there you go. Excuse me, Mr. Sarkar. But is you wearing a pacifier on you? That's pretty good. Did it remind you?

    Unknown: As a man from Georgia, I would expect you to have an excellent impression of a southern accent.

    Natty Bumpercar: And you definitely delivered that. It reminds you of Boss Hog. Hello. That's another one. We're just going all in tonight.

    Unknown: I do like the I do like that. We do have this one lawyer and he's always wearing like the suspenders, you know what I mean, and the paisley suit. So he likes to strut around. Yeah. And tell tales and stuff. You know, he walks around.

    Natty Bumpercar: we we was driving around in new jersey this is a couple weeks ago and i had never i don't i my mind is still blown weeks later we're driving there was a dude who his his his gut was like a beach ball it was large right and he was he was like five foot four not tall not a tall man but a round man wearing very large jeans and suspenders with no shirt on oh yeah and i was i almost it was like uh a jack tripper where i was on my bicycle and i almost ran into a car because i was turning around looking like i was driving with my kids and i was just like what in the what like what did we just what did i just witness like what yeah it was pretty exciting stuff it's weird the

    Unknown: things you see when you're driving around i was i was driving by the other day there was a there was a rv and it had they uh they had painted and you could tell that they had painted themselves this is not an official officially licensed the merchandise for the rv but they had painted uh garfield you know garfield the cat almost cat he hates mondays i can't he hates mondays but they painted the garfield looking real angry holding a gun oh and it had a word balloon and it said uh something something to the effect of if you unless you're bulletproof don't try to steal this car implying that that i guess garfield would show them with his little musket something like that well so i see that on the side of the rv they go ahead a little bit because i'm kind of stunned you know looking up like what is it on the back they painted it again on the back the same exact change lanes it's on the other side all three sides have garfield with a gun threatening to shoot you if you try and steal this rv you know what i did here though is uh

    Natty Bumpercar: if you have like a geico insurance that's gonna drop your premiums down is if you have more than one gob one garfield's not gonna do it you gotta have multiple garfields right holding a gun and uh threatening people oh yeah that is true that is

    Unknown: true they go they give some wacky discounts i wish that they would have changed the message

    Natty Bumpercar: up on at least one just be like you know if you bulletproof would have a bulletproof fine and then just be like i love lasagna oh just something to keep if there's two things i like

    Unknown: it's lasagna and shooting robbers and

    Natty Bumpercar: protecting you must protect this house it was so weird i just don't understand like garfield

    Unknown: like you have you seen you've seen the truckers that's got like the yosemite sam's mud flaps oh yeah or the like yosemite said he's he's an intimidating character he's a rooting tooting shooting exactly but the garfield just i've seen a lot of garfield i've never seen them get violent

    Natty Bumpercar: in any sort of way he might like move the chair out from od or something but i mean maybe it maybe normal's gonna bother him a little bit yeah normal i suppose i suppose if normal was gonna steal the thing but then he's never packing heat no he's never i don't know i had to go back

    Unknown: to my garfield collection again but i'm pretty sure i don't remember one where he's packing heat

    Natty Bumpercar: you should have gone on snopes.com and check to see if that was a fact or a fiction or whatever

    Unknown: that's what i should yeah i should have done that i should have done that i wish i was it was on the interstate so i wasn't able to uh to take a picture because i've got a very strict so don't

    Natty Bumpercar: drive and gimmick i think uh that we're we're making a lot of cases for why we need dash cams

    Unknown: in this country right oh you know you're exactly right yeah no it's fun some of the times we take the uh the dash cam video if we see something funny we take it back to the station you know on our lunch breaks or whatever we'll put it and we'll make it go and fast forward and we'll play the play the bitty hill music you know it's hilarious it's like look oh look at me look at me give him another ticket oh look that oh no he's crying he's crying and it's it's hilarious when he when you got it sped up like that that's fire and

    Natty Bumpercar: forgot you do audio you do video stuff you like the av club oh yeah i like to i like to do that

    Unknown: kind of stuff it's fun you know got a couple little tricks here and there yeah you got that you know if you if you're gonna make a premium content you know in this day and age i i i don't

    Natty Bumpercar: know nothing about no premium content i read it i hashtag it but man i don't i need no you make

    Unknown: premium cut we're creating premium content as we speak right now wait see maybe that's what it is

    Natty Bumpercar: maybe i can't see the forest for the trees i think that's exactly right i'm looking down at the ground i'm seeing all this pine straw i'm seeing some brush i'm seeing some bramble i'm not even i don't i got no idea i'm right here in the premium content forest i had no this is amazing

    Unknown: yeah that's exactly right you're like i got no time for premium content i'm making premium

    Natty Bumpercar: content over here that's basically what it is it's like i'm in a i'm in a uh i'm in inception is what's happening yeah premium content inception the whole world is folding in on itself i actually didn't see the movie but i saw the preview it looks amazing that's fine that's all you need i i like to pay for movies and then i go and i fall asleep in the popcorn i just my whole head bonk right in the popcorn i i they're like excuse me sir you've been here for two showings of the movie you've got to leave you can't be here anymore yeah it's fine wow that's no good

    Unknown: that seems like uh do you eat the popcorn afterwards it's all stuck to me i don't know

    Natty Bumpercar: you know it's just like they it's like when you go to a bar and they're like hey buddy you can have popcorn at home but you can't have it here and i'm like all right all right don't need to be pushy come on yeah you got to go you know um what is that we were talking about yosemite sam what do you have a favorite saying that he says

    Unknown: that's a weird favorite yosemite sam saying yeah i would i liked it when he says varmint oh he had a lot of different variations on varmint you know varmint varmint you're all varmint i like that i used i brought that into everyday conversations i tried it out uh for a couple of weeks how'd it work out for you it didn't really it didn't catch on like i

    Natty Bumpercar: thought it would it says up here on the road we have these big animals and they're like uh they're not beavers but they kind of look like beavers but they i don't know what that but i call them i call them varmints i'm like oh look there's a varmint or my i think my wife might call them a marmot i don't know what they are and i totally forget hedgehogs groundhogs groundhogs maybe marmot's a thing i don't know what they is but there's these big

    Unknown: brown doodades and they're on the side see now do that that's a good we can work with that one

    Natty Bumpercar: i named my ipad doodade and i thought i liked it it's i was i was pretty happy because like whenever i get a computer or a phone or whatever like my phone is something called like what's he why is it toast no the computer's toast no the computer's foxy and then the ipad is doodade which rhymes and i don't remember the phone's name but it's i'd like to name him because then i pick him up and every so often i'll forget and i'll go into settings and i'm like oh yeah you got a little name don't you that's cool yeah that gives them like uh you know like some personality and stuff i enjoy it so then if they ain't work i could be like foxy what are you

    Unknown: doing to me now come on bro and then it feels bad because it's like well that's true i gotta

    Natty Bumpercar: live up to my name i am supposed to be foxy but then it's embarrassing if i'm at work and have to use my personal computer and i it goes to the black uh the the screen whatever and my boss is sitting there and all of a sudden across the screen it just goes foxy and he's like why why does your computer say foxy and i'm like that's my personal business that's home computer stuff yeah you handle yours i'll handle mine that's another thing you don't

    Unknown: think about uh you know naming stuff if it's going to be out in public this is the same with like a like a dog i noticed would you stop dogs what are dogs doing the dogs is fighting one another's this playing they're doing the things over there would you stop it i hear growling there's growling happening would you stop it there's an old crotchety dog and then the young puppery dog and the puppery dog wants to play yeah old dog wants to nap but old dog's

    Natty Bumpercar: very upset oh it's not it's no good this makes you sad yeah it's a little bit uh it's a little sad you should uh do like i was watching big brother the other day and and last night maybe i don't even know yeah but the producer was like opposite sides of the house because there are people fighting oh you don't yeah you never hear the producer's voice over the speakers but you should do that the dogs just be like opposite sides of the house and see if they actually listen and i doubt it that's right opposite sides of the house what happened they do it it's quiet it's working it's quiet it's working oh look at that reality good idea yeah i need to

    Unknown: watch more reality television that's some good ideas that's gonna set you straight

    Natty Bumpercar: my uh my dog irving brown socks when he was a paparoo we went to dog school and they taught us this thing when he was freaking out and we would have to pat him nice and we go saddle saddle oh and he actually would set like he got it in his brain and this is like now 12 years 13 years later i pulled it out again he was freaking out i was like saddle and he did and i was like how do you remember saddle wow that's amazing yeah he don't even know where his food is half the time but he

    Unknown: remembers saddle this is weird wow that's cool see i don't know that's the thing people take their dogs to dog school it's not really much of a thing uh that we do around here it's it's like it's good enough to put yourself in school he got a diploma if you go so to take the dog it's just like i

    Natty Bumpercar: don't know that's that's rich fancy people talking i think he had to wear a hat like a mortise and

    Unknown: pestle he'd had a thing on that they try they try to sell you graduation picture packages

    Natty Bumpercar: bum bum bum bum bum

    Unknown: come out to the macho man rainy savage theme song and pick up the diploma oh yeah here's your

    Natty Bumpercar: diploma doggie like that yeah a whole deal who let the dogs out of college like that

    Unknown: who let the dogs into debt oh yeah student debt let's not talk about that it's gonna make me cry

    Natty Bumpercar: i actually oh yeah sorry about that somebody i was i was i've known for a long time the other day i was just like i don't want to talk about that he's like are you still and i was like for the rest of my life i'm yeah i'm an intention yeah that's just the way that it goes yeah i'm never getting out of that and then because i'm in this fun situation where i owe so much money and there's so much interest that even when i pay which is every month it still goes up and i'm like i went to a lot of school and i know a little bit about math and i'm pretty sure that this is not how it's supposed to work that's a real deal right there yeah it's just like this is not it's still went up i mean sometimes it's only up by a few bucks but i'm just like that's not a winnable game that's not something we can well you need to pay more than your minimum well i can't because my minimum is too much already thank you so much really good minimum

    Unknown: that that's a misnomer right there minimum my version of minimum and their version of minimum

    Natty Bumpercar: there's two completely different things yeah my version of minimum is can i still defer oh i'm out of those okay you want me to join the army do they take pigs of my size in the army i don't know literally whatever i need to do to get this this elephant off my back this monkey off my back i

    Unknown: will do it that's true no i did not mean to have to bring that up so subject for me too

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah i didn't mean to bring the dogs into it i tried to sell my kids to the uh the student loan people because i figured i could make more kids but i'm never going to get away from these student loans right they they refused i mean they wouldn't they wouldn't even let me send them in and i had them pre-stamped and enveloped and ready to go and they were just like sorry and i'm like well what am i supposed to do with this envelope now you know publisher's clearinghouse hey yo you're gonna send them away there you go you're a winner winner

    Unknown: chicken stuff they must uh they may maybe they listen to your uh to your podcast they hear some stories on the podcast that would make me not want to uh to take the children off your hands

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah that might be i uh somebody i meant the comedy shows they they like to tell me they're like oh yo why none of us want to have kids and i'm like oh that's that okay that's actually good because a lot of comedians probably shouldn't have the kids so yeah that's true yeah they i could only imagine um so let's see what else i was gonna say uh so you you've been on the show what now like a hundred times or so what did this your show yeah i was i mean i don't go to the archives i just know it's been more than a hand i ain't got a hand on it i don't know if it's been

    Unknown: hands but i'm assuming it's more than a handful it's more than a hoof full if uh no this is uh

    Natty Bumpercar: this is number two actually wait this is number two two yeah i had papers drawn up it was but i was telling bumper car was gonna become the bumper car and sock podcast because i thought you'd been

    Unknown: on here like a million times this is toss those jokes out the window you may be thinking of lucid

    Natty Bumpercar: he's maybe lucid he's uh you know no anymore i gotta call rufus t rufus i don't know he's my lawyer he's got to redraw these papers he told him he took this that took him three weeks to write this stuff he's not a very good

    Unknown: lawyer if i'm gonna be honest oh yeah no i'm not uh no i'm not good at math but this is uh what episode 303 and uh that means number two uh for me i don't know the ratio it doesn't seem like

    Natty Bumpercar: it's a very small percent i think it's definitely less than 50 it's a very small percentage definitely less than 50 so i want to so now that i'm finding this out i'm gonna i want i'm gonna shift gears i want to know what people have been asking me about you tell me about sock up before he was sock up before he was a cop when he was just socked wait were you like a baby sock growing up oh yeah yeah yeah i

    Unknown: was a little i was a little baby booty just like everybody else yeah and did you have like a twin

    Natty Bumpercar: i'm assuming because like a little two little pair of you guys running around no no no it's just me i'm an only child okay that's strange to me because in my head i was assuming do you get nervous when you go to laundromat

    Unknown: no i tend not to go i haven't really been to a laundromat in a long time because there's a lot

    Natty Bumpercar: of socks that get lost in laundromats and so that's what i've heard i worry about you that's

    Unknown: what i've heard sometimes i get the uh you know the mail uh comes in you know but that's missing persons i deal with the speeders so that's you know it's a whole nother department wait you got

    Natty Bumpercar: me confused when you said the mail comes in i was just like who is this mail the

    Unknown: six foot mail approximately 200 pounds now on your

    Natty Bumpercar: door at your house do you have it uh marketed like at a 7-eleven where you have like it has the lines on the door so you can see how tall people are when they're leaving no that's a good idea though you could always know you could be like hey my friend is you know he's about six

    Unknown: foot two or something i don't know that's true because you ever think you know if somebody uh you know goes missing or something like that they're like they always say how tall is he

    Natty Bumpercar: i don't know probably big we're going to uh six flakes tomorrow and i already have it in my head uh i'm gonna take a picture of bumper car and i'm gonna take a picture of bumper car and i'm gonna so in case they get lost i could be like they look like this they look oh that's a good idea too yeah picture's good this is what they look like can you find them and then they're gonna be like it shouldn't be hard we'll just announce as a lost pig maybe i mean they're probably looking for you yeah probably so and i'm like bro they ain't looking for me i snuck in the back they don't even know i'm here opposite sides of the house did it work well i think they're wise to me that was an answering but i heard that he was like oh yeah would you go get the job go get a job do something do something with your life yeah you know what the problem is those dogs didn't go to college so they're never gonna get a job yeah they never know they didn't go they didn't do the little

    Unknown: the little graduations and none of that kind of stuff they can't get they can't even get an entry

    Natty Bumpercar: level job in this in this account oh let's talk about this economy huh yeah let's talk about the

    Unknown: economy man

    Natty Bumpercar: jobless numbers are really blowing up huh i don't know what they sure are i don't even know things

    Unknown: i don't know maybe i mean there's still there's still people that have jobs right i i haven't

    Natty Bumpercar: people do i have one and i'm all every day i walk in and i just i i walk in and i look around left and i look right and i'm like they still let me in okay let's keep going in you know there you go

    Unknown: i do yeah every time i think about that sometimes too it's uh you know you get worried there's like a little there's a little gated thing and i got a little badge that i have not like the badge badge but i got the little badge that you got to do to hit you know and but there's about a two second delay before the thing starts opening and i'll always think in those two seconds well they got rid of me yeah that's it there we go they got rid of me don't work no more i guess i didn't even want to tell me i gotta get a new mug because i left it on my desk okay here we go well do you let me do the walk of shame with a box of stuff with a

    Natty Bumpercar: picture frame and stuff you'll get none of it you'll get nothing not at all yeah i mean like i like my job i like but i there's not been a day that's gone by since i started working there that i didn't feel like this is probably the end you know this is like and i don't even i've never i've been there like four years i have no decorations anywhere in my office it's just the most it's you walk in and every day uh i feel my soul to seep out a little bit and i'm just like oh really here we are at this room again perfect maybe i don't know maybe she gets you like a

    Unknown: like a plant or something you know a rubis cube to set there something anything i mean yeah just i don't know maybe that would uh you know bring some happiness to the place i think my fear is

    Natty Bumpercar: you know this is the day that i start moving on in they're gonna be like tap tap tap bt dubs you're out on your you're out of your case done i'm like but what but then what

    Unknown: did you just you just take it back out it's not a big deal what are you afraid of i don't know like it's gonna be too heavy to lift like you got that they're gonna also weaken your muscles you

    Natty Bumpercar: got to take it back out yes bumper cars got me on a very strict uh budget and if he starts seeing that i'm buying aerobics cubes and whatnot you know i'm gonna bring that home what's he gonna throw to me he's gonna and then he's gonna be like tap tap tap you spending money on this stuff add on your keister like that so then i've lost my job i've lost my home what's oh that's no good i know i know so and then i got nothing because so for me i'm i'm a very single pig what about

    Unknown: yourself are you out out on the scene yeah you know i'm on the i'm on the tenders and stuff like that trying to do things yeah yeah you know i'm trying to get some swipes i don't i don't get a whole lot

    Natty Bumpercar: of swipes you ever swiped up that's really that's really real action is no i've never tried swiping

    Unknown: up or down i figured they would bring in some diagonals yeah some sort of crisscross applesauce just drawing like little pictures of who i wish they was or something i don't know look i drew

    Natty Bumpercar: this one to look like a mouse look at that he's got a funny nose now ah whiskers whiskers whiskers i don't even know i've never seen it i don't know what it does but it would be yeah it's just like

    Unknown: a little swiping gimmick and you know it shows you pictures of people and you judge them yeah well

    Natty Bumpercar: that's the world people that's the way that it goes people judge me all i i mean i was just judging a dude in suspenders so i guess that's that's just how i was i was judging an rv on and

    Unknown: i don't even know who it was i didn't even see it was driving it could have been a driverless car one of those new gimmicks so maybe like the people are in the back

    Natty Bumpercar: and yeah just just kicking it let me see there's a diamond in the back a sunroof top kicking in the scene with a gangster lean do you know what that is what is that it's like a poem it's like a snoop dog song i feel like diamond in the back sunroof top oh no no dog stop it these dogs are screaming oh my goodness gracious these dogs have questions

    Unknown: the hounds the hounds have been unleashed oh they're so tiny oh wait is the thing happening

    Natty Bumpercar: the cat is very chill though i'm looking at your cat oh yeah there's the cat

    Unknown: sort of uh kicking it back there wait is that a papa's on chair

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah it's what yeah it's a papa john's chair so anytime i sit in a chair with my kids like if i'm sitting in a chair i'm like hey guys this is a papa's on chair and they're like what i'm like your papa is on this chair oh i get it now i get it it's a tough one and they're like nope and i'm like it's a funny joke and they're like it but it's not and i'm like okay okay no it's a funny joke

    Unknown: i like that i think wordplay right right no it's pretty good well i grew up with uh with uh such literature as uh as hop on pop oh that's it oh you know that's good that's a tight book

    Natty Bumpercar: oh my goodness here we go again we read the book last night the dr seuss book older things you can

    Unknown: think get out of town you read the dr seuss's

    Natty Bumpercar: bro we read several books a night so it's like a big time you know so it's like last night we was reading paint hey how you doing we're doing the things what's in your little bag there no it's okay what are you oh you freaked out because you're seeing okay i understand i and i and i can't comment on it necessarily but i understand why i would freak you out a little bit it's not very often that people get to see what's happening here without other things yeah that's true yeah so you're what you're you're one in a million but actually much less than that like one in ten at this point

    Unknown: i feel like well maybe now that maybe now the dogs will be uh be more behaved well i don't know

    Natty Bumpercar: who know maybe she's gonna you know rile them up or something like that could be because yeah and then everybody's you're gonna have to be like opposite sides of the house and she's gonna be

    Unknown: like what is he talking about you got to listen to everything what is this thing what is this thing come out that doesn't understand the references that we just created you're this fight is gonna

    Natty Bumpercar: go on for like several days and you're just gonna keep messaging me bro when is this thing gonna be out because i just need her to hear the inside joke how much longer can you just put it out what just send me that one part yeah just can you just send me a clip please no sorry bro i've got to make up several other gimmicks to put in the episode before i can put it out live that is true

    Unknown: you've got the the telephone number now yeah how was that you're getting some phone calls or what

    Natty Bumpercar: no you're not getting phone calls i got i've gotten uh three phone calls but then so i've got four two of them from a from a girl she was on the that last episode uh yeah and then um that guy somebody named dennis called which i don't know if it's a dennis that i know i meant to ask him is that the dennis has a podcast that's what i was kind of hoping it was but it didn't say the podcast did it because i wasn't sure i gotta okay then i feel bad because i gotta i gotta tell him he's on the episode uh but then yesterday i get this call and it's like six minutes long and it's a it's like uh i was butt dialed which i was like how was i because then these people these are just having a conversation in the room and i was like am i allowed to put that on the show i feel like i am they called my number right i don't know that i don't know

    Unknown: that's strange yeah that's strange because i've got the i've got a phone number that people could call into the show and stuff like that you know so it's just out there on the internet and every once in a while you know somebody will call that and leave a voicemail

    Natty Bumpercar: or something yeah if i'm not doing a show i put it on the twitters we just got a a facebook page for the bumper podcast and oh get out of there i didn't know you had a facebook page it's like make maybe it's been there a day or two so it's very exciting oh that's cool we started i started putting the uh bumps he started putting the uh episodes on the youtubes so that they could so the facebook so like the lucidi one 300 and the last one the john trumbull and then this one will be on there but so you can get it like through normal podcast places the itunes and whatnot but then you can also go to the other place but uh it's not burning down the scene on the youtubes like i would have liked i think one has three views and one has a zero views so you know

    Unknown: we're growing we're learning that's yeah that sounds like my youtubes yeah like you like you may have actually put on my channel or something like that it's uh

    Natty Bumpercar: like it's a whole bunch of uh goose eggs here's a weird i uh what was it when uh see the periscope of vine i don't know what i did but i imported like a bajillion um different things on and it all went into the youtubes and so i went from having like 30 videos to having like 90 and it made my numbers go because like no one's seen 60 of the videos now oh yeah no that's true

    Unknown: that's a lot of mine too because i took all the vines and then i put them all up on the youtubes whenever the vine whenever they shut it down yeah i took all the downloaded all the vines and i was like well i just put them up on youtubes yeah then i said it where nobody can see it so it's like

    Natty Bumpercar: oh just take some space i miss i miss the vines a lot that was my favorite i love my it was the best oh the vines was pretty good i enjoyed that and especially like once they got to the point where they're adding the functionality so i can do a little do little little bits of stuff i don't massive stuff just little bits of stuff you know and uh i still have like on several days i'll be

    Unknown: like that's a good buy oh never mind i can't buy i still think about that sometimes i'll think in

    Natty Bumpercar: little six second loops yeah because instagram videos or whatever they're too long you can't it doesn't have the same impact like there was something about like uh one two three click one two three click that was like it just had like this real real cool quality i thought but yeah

    Unknown: i liked it a lot i was kind of late to the game i didn't really get into it until uh until later it was like probably just uh just a year or so ago i saw somebody was

    Natty Bumpercar: like this isn't hard to make why doesn't somebody just redo it like with the same functionality and

    Unknown: call it mine or whatever i don't know you know like something else yeah there was there was one i saw there was a clone that popped it was called like kube or something i think about my buddy ogbhs he was a big vine guy and he told me about it he's in jersey right yeah he's yeah he lives in the new

    Natty Bumpercar: jerseys see see he knows oh yeah he lives in the new jerseys yeah he lives in the new jerseys

    Unknown: that's where you stayed yeah yeah yeah i stayed with uh with ogbhs whenever i go up there he's uh

    Natty Bumpercar: he always got a blow-up mattress for me oh that's a good dude i like oh yeah i like that a lot so did you you guys are is he is that is that what a premium content started it was a little

    Unknown: battle between the two of you yeah yeah yeah yeah we're like uh you know we're good buddies but sometimes we'll motivate each other that's good you know create a uh a fake rivalry or some sort of uh or some sort of thing so he so whenever he went from divine to instagrams and he was like i'm gonna get more followers than you still like that and i was like no you're not no you're not but then he he did he really did yeah well he's got like i mean he's got

    Natty Bumpercar: he's got content like he's got he you have to make stuff he has to make stuff too but like yeah

    Unknown: he's got the uh backorder stuff and also he knows how to use robots uh he uses robots how how does i don't know exactly what the robots do i imagine that they are in like some sort of layer and they i don't know what i don't know how it works he won't tell me to see but he's got robots to help him does he go out and take over the world yes yeah it's very much like a robot like maybe you know like it was made out of cans or something like that and with it tapping on stuff and you know this is my this is robot this is the robot from my show i've never seen that bro what what

    Natty Bumpercar: show is this i've never seen it he's on a bumper podcast he's he's he talks every so often oh okay

    Unknown: oh okay i've heard him i've never seen him before

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah he's out of batteries yeah i see if you go to the bumper podcast page there's some photos i think it's called shenanigans in the studio and he's in one of the pictures being crazy oh i love man that is great yeah i mean when i was in grad school i had uh an art installation and it was called robot family and uh that's where i built him and he has a little wife and he has a little baby robot too and they would they were just in this little scene and it made me so and i was like oh that's robot family and my teachers were like no no no did you get the bad grade on him yeah like i went to like undergrad for art school and then i went to graduate school in new york city for art school so you're thinking oh okay you're in art school you make art stuff okay and you can talk about what you make you have stories behind what you make so it means something to somebody whatever but they would still they would look at and they'd be like oh nope nope nope that is not nope and i would get in like fights like yelling and uh once i was just like you let me in this school like you you saw my portfolio before i came up here and you know what kind of stuff i make and now you're telling me it ain't good enough and it was a good it was a good fight it was good fun so oh my goodness great you're gonna

    Unknown: so it's like you're gonna sit here telling me you didn't you didn't see robot family coming from

    Natty Bumpercar: this guy yeah yeah you could see that i used to paint squirrels and now you're telling me that

    Unknown: to you bro so you go to art in art school what is what do you do in an art school you throw money

    Natty Bumpercar: in the drain is what you do yeah i mean what do you want yeah i don't know i just you know i was

    Unknown: just curious i didn't i've never known anybody that went to an art school well so in theory

    Natty Bumpercar: undergrad you're learning a lot of techniques and stuff so like oh here's the different kinds of brushes it's just a flat that is a bright that is around whatever silly stuff like that oh that is a fan um and then you'll learn like the different you learn about pigments and like the the uh how different paints are made so acrylic is it's like all you know play stick and stuff and then oils you got to add like all sorts of tinctures to it to make it work uh and so you learn like how to stretch frames and what it's all made about it's seriously if i was rich it would be amazing and i would love to be like if my parents if my parents are like oh send pig off to school and he'll be fine that'd be great but instead i come from no money and then i go to school like a mope and i'm like i'm in art school look at me now they said i can paint good great great well you're done with school so what are you gonna do now i'm gonna cry no i'm gonna cry and you know but that's i don't know you learn art history stuff and i think there's a lot of things that i've learned in art history stuff and i think there's a lot of things that i've learned in art history stuff and i think there's a lot of there's probably a way that it could be spun so that you would like maybe teach later on or whatever right uh i don't know i'm a pretty big advocate for art i like it a lot um i think it's important to the world like like oh kind of everything is art in my humble imho like you know like you might your little shirts you're wearing or whatever like that's art like it's it's a a textile but still somebody had to draw it then get the color right and it's important to the world like i think it's important to the world like i think it's important so it and so that's uh it's all kind of artistry whatever and then people be like it's not art with a big a it's art with a little a and you're like oh why do we have to differentiate because people like the pigeonhole oh big a's and little a's i can't stand oh wait that's another that's a different uh dr seuss book i was looking at dr seuss abc it goes big a little a what begins with a auntie annie's alligator a a a like that that's stuck in my head pretty good as i go i think dino duck no no i don't know i can't remember never mind i got up to dado so i'm okay that's pretty good there's a lot of the letters i understand that but you know well percentage wise percentage wise it's about as many as as you almost owning the bumper podcast exactly it's like 0.0175 i didn't even hit the one mark no no no not quite will i be getting checks in the mail no because it's nothing it's it's less than one percent you're not gonna see nothing you owe us about yeah yeah for the record yeah we're gonna need we're gonna take your dogs i'm sorry but they look delicious what happened yeah um well sake bro i you guys always i love talking to you so much but it's getting so late here and you know i gotta go night night time oh yeah yeah yeah you got a big day tomorrow look at what you just did i was trying to work into some other joke about beauty sleep but you just knocked it out of the park i don't even have the ball anymore to knock around you just balloons the whamos so uh so where can people find you oh man uh the internet

    Unknown: mostly uh usually on uh i'm on the periscopes a lot uh you just find me suck up on periscopes periscope.tv yeah it's periscope.tv that's the website but it's the app it's the application that you put on your your mobile look at the device i love it i love apples so okay i'll look it's that's similar to that it's like a one piece of a thing that's through the i'll give you go to the website that's uh sock up rocks.com okay and we can that's

    Natty Bumpercar: where we can find you on the twitters and on the uh yeah that'll link to uh to everything the twitter

    Unknown: i spend a lot of time on the twitter i spend way too much time on the twitters now when you're on

    Natty Bumpercar: the twitters i know we were gonna fade now but do you uh put up your own thing and wait for people to comment on that or do you kind of go into other people's things and make comments what are you talking about on the on the twitters yeah because i'm trying to learn like i feel like if i just put something up it gets zero and then if i find somebody who has a thread and especially if it's a volatile thread and i'm like and then people are like and i'm like oh is this how twitters work but then i don't get followers but i get like all these risk mean crash responses and

    Unknown: i'm like oh yeah i guess i won the internet i don't know no there's no i pretty much uh i stick to the uh i just put stuff up on the twitters and i'm like oh yeah i guess i won the internet out there it's you know just like throwing uh some spaghetti up against the wall and you just see what sticks sometimes people like some things and sometimes they don't and then it's uh but that the twitters it's good because there's been i've met a lot of people on there that it just they just do stuff it's cool yeah they just they just do things and they come up with you know little funny witticisms so they maybe do you know like comic-y things and put it out there they just make a weird little video or something they just do it i like just to do it and i'm like hey you're my people because i do that too you make stuff i make stuff we all make stuff together that's exactly right so it's like hey i'll give you a retweet you're gonna be a retweet back and stuff like that and then we talk every once in a while and it's a good time

    Natty Bumpercar: bumper car was saying that you're like the king of the king of the shares he very very much

    Unknown: appreciates it oh yeah yeah yeah no i'm all about the the sharing of things the bumper car is definitely one of those people that does some some cool stuff i go in there every once in a while and look at the look at the ants oh the comic of the ants and stuff i love those

    Natty Bumpercar: the ants are my favorite if bumper car ever gets time he's gonna make a book so it's gonna have the ant like the comic strip in each page and then annotations all around it as to what it could possibly mean oh yeah probably within the next 20 years i guess i'll get to that

    Unknown: i suppose oh wow it's weird that you said 20 because i was willing to pay up to 20 for such

    Natty Bumpercar: a book oh wait a minute yeah so there's one thing is too is it it'd be cool because it probably several volumes because i think i've got several hundred of those things so like i mean i don't know that'd be fun did he ever get like tweeted out why not or maybe they did i might think not but i don't know

    Unknown: i think they were before the twitters oh man you gotta just every once so you don't have to you know don't give away the whole thing but just you know pick a handful and maybe once every couple days just toss you one out there won't like that just yeah this is warm and then uh i love the ants so i'll do a retweetings look at that it's probably some comic book peoples will do some retweetings people be like hey look at his natty bump card character i wonder if there's a pig that talks to people that i can listen to for about an hour and then wham oh there they are and then

    Natty Bumpercar: they go to my website they're like wow wait he's got 300 of these penguin comic strips that ain't make no sense he's got a few hundred of these ant things that make less sense than that he's got three i'm like mr 300 over here 300 podcasts this is who is this guy who is this just just

    Unknown: the genius man that creates things for the world to enjoy i don't

    Natty Bumpercar: i think we should probably end on that because you're gonna make me cry nobody ever says nice things about pump a car oh man who is this sock up anyway all right so they're gonna find you on the twitters they're gonna find you on the periscopes they're gonna find you on your website which is sock cop rocks.com um and that's that's where they're gonna find you right they're gonna find you here too i mean yeah right here because you're gonna be here recording every week we're gonna send you a list of duties okay yeah no that's cool you have a lot of upkeep a lot of stuff to take care of you gotta uh muck the uh stables i hope you don't mind that not good yeah i could do a little mucking okay and you also have to bring the uh the the snickerdoodles

    Unknown: so that's good though snickerdoodle yeah those are good i got uh i've got a great recipe uh that involves buying snickerdoodles and then put them on a tray and i'll try that out for you sounds

    Natty Bumpercar: delicious now with that recipe if you would before you bring me one on a plate drop it in the oven for five to eight seconds but don't tell me and you give it to me i'm gonna be like is this fresh out of the oven and you just say why yes it is pig why yes it is why yes at one point it was all right sock you go to bed because you got to get up early and catch the speeders but thanks again for being on the show i want to have you back sometime okay yeah anytime i'm i have a microphone and i am available i love it all right everybody that was mr sock cop giving us a we will talk to him again i swears on it it's just amazing uh i it's like because pig gets these people on the show and um they their interviews obviously but they they're more like their conversations and you never know where they're gonna go so we've had really good luck so far where uh the three people who have done them and we actually have another one in the can is what they say so for the next show uh a great friend of mine a comedian um but everyone's everyone's doing great talking to pig and that makes me happy because it makes him happy because it gets him off my back speaking of getting people off my back so the kid the kid's gone right at the grandparents uh last week we were we were in the toy room there's carpet in the toy room and there's a there's a table in the toy room right next to the wall and he uh he was he was playing legos and i don't know how it but he looked down in between the table and the wall and there was this spider and the spider was the same color as the carpet so like i didn't even he was just like there's a spider like he's freaking out yelling right and i was just like okay here i'm basically like i'm basically like eeyore around the house because i'm so tired and so beat down uh and they don't seem to be able to do anything for themselves these kids these days and uh so i'm just like okay here i come like that that's it but i was all right what do you want all right and i get in and i see i was like what are you talking about there's no spider and he's like it's right there he's freaking out right point spider there's a spider there's a spider and so i um kind of look down like there's i can't get to the spider because it's behind the table and uh he's like what are you doing your face is down there it's by the spider the spider's gonna get you a spider ah and i was like buddy just relax and i was like no he's coming my way he's coming my way and i was like you know this is a couple minute ordeal but i was just like oh no he's like what he's on a chair he's like standing on a chair like he's in an old uh tom and jerry cartoon and there's a mouse running around the kitchen and he goes i was like he the spider the spider just pointed at me with one of his arms and then he pointed towards the door with his other arm he's emphatically asking me to leave the room and he was just like what like spiders don't what they don't they don't do that like he's he's no he's pointing he's definitely pointing he's just like well you can't leave the room you can't leave me in here in the room without what do you know and i was like god okay i don't know what to do he's still okay no he's coming back he's walking he's walking oh god now he's pointing at you he's pointing at you and he just took out of a fork and a knife i don't even know where the spider got the point he was just like no spiders don't use forks and knives why would he have a fork and a knife it was and this went on for probably like two or three minutes of my favorite most enjoyable torturing my child that i've ever uh ever done and uh you know eventually the spider just kind of disappeared under the carpet but i told him i got the spider i lied about the spider with the fork and the knife uh but i like to uh he's got a great imagination and i like to play with it it makes me happy uh but i hope i'm not gonna send him into therapy when he gets older but he might i don't know the spider didn't have a fork and a knife or did it ah dun dun hey remember earlier how i said i didn't have any calls i forgot i lied about that too evidently i lie a lot i'm sorry no but i uh we have one call and uh i'm excited about it i think it might be by the same person who called before but let's see what she has to ask to say all right

    Unknown: hi naddy i was just calling to a question about pig toys and when did you first acquire or figure it out or settled on one hey this is pig toys and how long I guess did it take for you to I guess I don't know how to say like make it be pig all right that's my question bye

    Natty Bumpercar: all right wow that's a great question this person is two for two on amazing questions the first question was last week about uh who my comedy influencers are uh which I still have to get into that because I that was that was an awesome question but this one is a little bit more of a touchy subject and I um yeah so hi yeah it's me Aloysius I don't think that that's a very important question or necessary question or a question that should be asked uh especially not to you maybe you could ask me that kind of question like hey pig where'd you get your voice you know whatever like that and I'd be like oh you know well lady you know caller I got my voice yeah okay talk how I talk and I stalk how I stalk yeah that's what I said yeah that's how I sing songs we don't have to sing but I don't know but okay you don't have to it's exposition right it's not exposition that's fine okay so uh pig just hold on a second so that's a legit question um because I have and this is not pig is obviously not one of these he's not a puppet yeah but I um I have yeah I have a real hard time with uh I've got uh boxes of puppets uh you do uh that I had the the web comic it was called snowflake and I made a snowflake penguin puppet that I love like I made it and it's like a foot and a half tall and it's awesome and I've never been able to uh to figure out the voice and I used to when I make the cartoons for like spot elliot and peanut lou uh that was the super special that type of thing or peanut louie sounds like this kind of uh uh and it's weird because a lot of times I'll sit there and I'll stare at things I was actually thinking about this just this morning my uh my my in-laws went to I'm gonna say Europe and they brought me home a German pig puppet and it is awesome like I really like it but it is in the uh the the drawer in the little table next to my bed just waiting because it's like the voice has it doesn't just happen I don't I haven't figured out the the ability to just look at it and be like that's your voice but it's more like uh when the right voice happens then I it's there um I used to pig used to hang out with a moose named yetkin he never had a voice he actually had a dog squeaker in his mouth um and I have who else I mean there's a horse named cinnamon and all he does is he kind of walks by and looks at the camera and a lot of it is just because I don't know what they sound like now with all that being said uh pig when I this is years ago he made a video called what does pig sound like and like literally he just we were in Hoboken on on the riverfront and he was walking around and just trying to figure out what he sounded like and but I'm just gonna say by luck something clicked and that was a voice that stuck something stuck something clicked you know what I've been talking this way my entire life and I'm of life ever since I could talk ever since I was a little bitty pig a little bitty baby pig you know I was raspy and I had an accent and I say words the way I say words so when you come in and you're like oh you know I got puppets and everything and I already got people talking to me talking about me saying that I'm a puppet you know I read the internet I hear I hear the comments and so I don't it don't help that they all of a sudden they're like what are you a a linguist are you a voice coach you're none of those things bumps I mean you're my pal we hang out we do the bump podcast but I you ain't you ain't making my voice up but I just want to be clear that'd be as silly as a question as me being like somebody being like hey how did you come up with bumper cars voice and I'd be like well I took a marshmallow and I put it next to some butter and then I put some rice krispies in it you know yeah I'm saying you sound like a rice krispie treat I apologize that might be a little bit ruder than I meant it to be because you're a nice dude again okay we're all lucky we're all yeah it is I think it's fine fine fine fine it's a fine question all right all right moving along can we move along we're done all right well okay yes move you take over you're welcome thank you um so again great question keep sending questions you send great questions and I really enjoy answering your questions um but you know it's just who knows who knows who knows and how long did it take it was when it clicked it clicked and but I wasn't like searching around for it it was just like kind of like I like to keep my eyes open to the universe and what it gives me or whatever and sometimes it gives me things and I know when those things work and then I take them and then I use them and they make me happy so thank you for your call thank you thank you um all right um we did it we did it we did have a call-in segment we didn't have a review today that's fine um we're not always going to have reviews we are trying to figure out other segments even though I feel like the ones we have so far are working out pretty awesomely I think the interviews are going great uh the call-ins when we have the calls are great uh I'm actually at the point now where I have more people lined up that I want to interview than I have time to do which is a good problem to have so I just got to kind of juggle and make sure that I get everybody in that I want to get in and uh you know it's fun it expands it expands the world because we bring in these new people and and we get to hear uh what they what they talk about when what they think um and I will say uh while I was recording this I did look over and I saw a spider and he was giving me kind of the uh the hands across the throat like wrap it up like hey too too long too long in the podcast and I was just like listen look at this guys it's a spider it's a spider and it's a spider and it's a spider and it's a spider spider people seem to like these longer episodes especially when there's people being interviewed in them speaking of people being interviewed i want to thank my pal sock cop for being on the show he's awesome you should go and watch everything he makes you should go and hang out with him on the twitters because he makes great stuff he makes great stuff and uh we need to your stuff and interact with it because it gives it a whole other life a whole other meaning so thank you a million miles for listening to the bumper podcast and for being awesome and i'll talk to you

  • Bumperpodcast # 136 – That Voice

    Bumperpodcast # 136 – That Voice

    Where was Bumpercar last week? He was deep down in a dirty sickly hole where he was left after being beaten up by the flu and bronchitis …

    And – he missed you very much.

    Have you ever been beaten up by a cold? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then we can high-five!!


    About This Episode

    In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is suffering from bronchitis and can barely speak, but the show must go on! With his voice completely shot, Natty takes listener requests to perform different characters and voices despite the pain. He gamely attempts impressions of a witch grandmother who wants to bake bread and cast spells, and a mobster whose tough-guy routine literally hurts too much to complete. Throughout the episode, Natty jokes about officially changing his name to "Natty Bronchitis" and struggles hilariously with words and breathing. It's a short but memorable episode showcasing Natty's dedication to entertaining his audience even when he's clearly under the weather.

    Memorable Quotes

    “My name has officially changed, we went through everything, the website will change soon enough to Natty Bronchitis.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Hello, how's it going? It's going to be a beautiful season this year at the witch house. I guess I'm a witch grandmother, I didn't realize this when I went into the character.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You never want to listen to a podcast where the host actually dies on the show, so I think that we're gonna wrap it up.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #voiceacting #improvisation #comedy #listenerrequests #characters #bronchitis

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar