Tag: technology problems

  • Bumperpodcast #455 – Season 3 – Microphone

    Bumperpodcast #455 – Season 3 – Microphone

    In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, we get a new microphone! But then everything goes off the rails. It’s totes banoo!!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar introduces a new microphone that immediately proves to be too intense for the laid-back show. The sophisticated equipment makes recurring character Rufus T. Rufus so uncomfortable that he leaves the studio, only to start calling Producer during the recording because he's hungry and can't remember the code to the refrigerator. Meanwhile, Producer keeps taking phone calls mid-episode, creating complete pandemonium in the studio. What starts as an exciting equipment upgrade quickly devolves into accusations, complaints, and the entire cast turning on the new microphone for causing all the trouble. The episode showcases the show's signature improvised chaos and self-aware humor about its own production mishaps.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I just touched my shirt and I heard it in my ears. This thing is you're a little too intense microphone. I like you very very much but I worry that you're not going to fit in around here because we're not a very intense podcast.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The main problem is that I became I got a little bit of low blood sugar and I got very hungry. And so I was calling you because I didn't remember the code to the refrigerator and you didn't answer.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “This has never happened before. This microphone came in. He's brand new and obviously he's causing a lot of trouble. So microphone, why don't you just hit the road?”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #newequipment #podcasting #workplacechaos #hunger #technologyproblems #behindthescenes #improvisation

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: okay so we have a new microphone and it is testing my patience as far as where i have to sit and where it needs to sit and how i look at it and how it looks at me and i think i just touched my shirt and i heard it in my ears this thing is it's you're a little too intense microphone i like you very very much but i just i worry that you're not going to fit in around here because we're not a very intense podcast we don't we're not you know exact and we don't really know what we're doing and you know if you take us to a level that's too far up it's just gonna cause issues with everybody bad issues scary issues uh probably some fights people you know talking behind other people's backs terrible stuff like that no i'm not interested i'm not even interested

    Aloysious J. Pig: a little bit hey uh maddie uh sorry i didn't mean to interrupt it now you're having a little conversation over here with a new microphone uh so i don't want to you know tell tales at a school i don't want to talk about

    Natty Bumpercar: people behind well back no yeah no i think that's what i was just telling the microphone here is that we don't want to do that that's not something that we normally do yeah like well uh hold on a

    Aloysious J. Pig: second natic now you're saying we don't save that's me of course hello everyone that's me rufus t rufus the the the the lawyer around here and are you saying that we don't talk behind people's backs because we have to say the stuff

    Natty Bumpercar: to their face no well no wait no well no we try to be nice to people just in in front of their face and and behind their face and to the side of their face and any you know if you have a face then we're gonna try to kind of 360 upside down all the way around just be nice to people in general but um what i was saying was rufus i don't have you met have you

    Aloysious J. Pig: met the new mic no i don't believe i made your acquaintance uh i'm saying hello to the little okay oh yeah i can do that hello there uh microphone how do you do not much for conversation i see you'd rather be talked at and i don't got any questions uh bathrooms around the corner you know no i can't talk to this thing now it don't make no sense i don't mean you're just looking at me funny here i don't you mean you seem nice microphone but uh you know i got i got i got lawyer stuff i'm gonna just uh skidoo back over here and you you do your microphone thing make me uncomfortable where you're looking stop looking at me like that please now microphone um i'm just gonna say it you've already proved your worth because normally rufus stays in the podcast studio for the entire podcast and now you all of a sudden you come in and you get you made him uncomfortable and got him to leave i've never seen anything or anyone in his situation uh be able to make that guy uncomfortable so uh uh you get a you get a gold star uh first day knocking it out of the park i gotta tell you yeah i agree um it was weird he

    Natty Bumpercar: was like did you see his eyes were like kind of darting around he looked like a little bit

    Aloysious J. Pig: i don't want to say he was a little bit banu but hey hey hey you know you can't say banu all right because now that's twice if it's said another time then we're gonna get into the totes and then you know that issues for years we've had big issues so please oh please oh please

    Producer: stop it right where we are yeah i tend to agree with aloysius you know we don't we we always try to steer away from all of that stuff because it causes a lot of drama and i know the beginning matter you were saying you don't talk behind people's backs we don't talk in front of you

    Aloysious J. Pig: know the whole thing you were saying but just what is what is happening producer you have you i mean like you have one job is well i mean you have a lot of i know but you don't take a phone call when we're doing a podcast that's why would you why would you put it on mute put it on vibrate yeah put it in your locker

    Natty Bumpercar: like nobody should have their phone yeah i yeah sorry that producer i'm that's the first i said i think that might be the first time that's ever happened that was really loud and and not not

    Producer: awesome so i'm hold on netty i just wanted to say that the phone call was actually from a very

    Aloysious J. Pig: important person in your life so what are we are we doing like riddles now is that the game we're playing you know are you just gonna tell them all right what are we doing yeah i would i mean like

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah sorry i who who who who was it it was very important my life who who just called you instead of i guess calling calling me or did they maybe they did call but i don't have my phone i don't

    Producer: know yeah so they did actually call you and uh you yes you doing the voicemail and so there is a bit of a you know so they did call me because it was a bit of a you know a little bit of a you know a you know he's kind of like a bit of a um bit of an emergency and so um yeah yeah what is this guy

    Aloysious J. Pig: doing okay so it's you don't you're not telling us who called and now you're saying it's an emergency and then you're trail off uh love you to death producer you're wonderful you're great uh get to the point who was it that called natty with an emergency yeah thanks aloysius like what

    Natty Bumpercar: are we doing do you want do we need to stop the podcast and can you tell me or do i need to be worried like what is happening right now

    Producer: well no i'm sorry but you guys geek cutting me off and i give you you know i get a little bit nervous and that's why i don't i don't talk a lot in the microphone because you know there's a podcast and i'm the i'm the yeah go go go yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yeah so okay we know

    Natty Bumpercar: you're a producer you're behind the microphone and so somebody called me and they said it was an emergency and can we just please do we if we can you just tell me yeah or hold on a second i

    Producer: actually funny story they just called me back but i had turned the the ringer off and i had muted my microphone and so you didn't hear the whole thing but the thing is the um the emergency uh is now passed and it was just a small thing that maybe you know it didn't end up being anything at all and so it's not a big deal and and so you don't even have to worry about it you guys just continue on go on with your big podcast you're doing it such a good job always so proud of you uh new microphone looking at you i'm looking at you over there okay i got a little work to do you and me right but we'll figure it out and we'll figure it out and we'll

    Aloysious J. Pig: we're gonna get there we're all gonna get there okay cool great um so now that we're stuck in this and i guess is i hope this isn't the entire podcast i hope bumper car has some silly story to tell or something but i know i invested emotionally and i would also like to know what was the who sorry yes who was the person who called and what was the emergency that has now been settled and is no longer an emergency and now that we have all that information and that you

    Producer: can take a nice deep breath and just no so here's the thing i um who's i actually do a lot of indian food i love uh just you know the spicy it's good a lot of flavor i think he's he's on the phone producer yeah he's on the phone right now knock on the window yeah we're not gonna win producer later in the day you know producer yeah we can hear you sorry sorry sorry shut it off

    Natty Bumpercar: cut it off um i i'm gonna take a deep breath it's all okay we just might have to throw this episode away but that's okay you know we we were excited we had a new microphone and now producer is receiving phone calls and then talking to people in the in the booth you and we still don't even know who it was you or if that was the same person or what the emergency was or anything yeah uh natty i

    Aloysious J. Pig: apologize uh i was on the telephone over there with uh with uh with a producer and uh you know i feel a little bit bad that maybe i was interrupting is what i'm understanding he looks pretty upset in there on the booth yeah uh you would hold on were you the first call or the second call or i think there were three or all it was you were the first call or the second call or figure of what it was that was not what it was in the meanwhile yeah because at the very least you'll have of the first phone call because you took your lead i don't know how many phone calls um well you you know you're well is it all you yeah well now here's the thing i don't know how many phone calls that the producer got uh you're saying three um let me think here because i i did i called and uh natty i called you went to voicemail and then i called a producer and in Yeah, then I called you back to let you know that everything was all right. Yeah, and then I'm the third. Yeah, I was talking about we're going to go eat some food maybe after the show. And then we're going to go get some lunch also. So we got some discussions to discover.

    Natty Bumpercar: So, okay, microphone made you nervous, Rufus. So you left the studio and then you almost immediately within like a couple of minutes start calling producer during the show while you know that we're recording the show. And now you're telling me that there was some sort of emergency and that the emergency went away. Can you now explain what that was? Yes, well, I can mix. Sorry, I don't want to hear. I don't I'm not. I need to talk to Rufus to see what's going on, because. Because, you know, it was supposed to be a big fun day. We got a new microphone. We had I had some silly, funny stories I was going to tell. And and and and now it's, you know, I like sometimes the wheels do come off here at the Bumper podcast. You know, we have our silly fun and everything's all whatever. But this just it this feels different and it's frustrating. I'm not going to lie. So tell me, Rufus, T. Rufus, what was this big emergency that you felt like? You needed to call producer during the show and talk about.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. So the main issue, the main problem is that I was I became I got a little bit of low blood sugar and I got very hungry. And so I was calling you because I didn't remember the code to the refrigerator and you didn't answer. And I was getting weak. You know, normally I would never call producer during the show. But I was. I was getting a little bit like I was going to pass out a little bit like I was going to go to, you know, just lay on the floor and, you know, Aloysius. I know he don't carry his phone around. And so then I called producer and I did do that. I apologize. I was right there in the middle of the show.

    Natty Bumpercar: So, OK, so now we know who it was. It was you calling. We know what the emergency was, that you were hungry, I guess. And and then you called back because the emergency was solved. Like everything. Was figured out. Is that that's that's huh. That's where we are now, right?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. So now what happened with that, what had happened was I did end up laying down on the floor, which was which was nice and cool. You know, the tiles and everything felt nice. I took a nap for about, I don't know, a minute and a half, two minutes, whatever it was. And then out of the clouds, it came to me. It was it was the code for the refrigerator. And and I looked up and I said to myself, Rufus, you're supposed to eat right now. And this is the universe telling you, just telling you. So and so I got up and I went over to the refrigerator, punch in that code. And lo and behold, it opened right up. So just to reiterate, Natty, Rufus was hungry, got the code. He opened the fridge and may have lost producing his job. I still, you know, it's it's what I'm taking in here.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, here's the thing, too, is, yeah, this was rough. This is really bad. And producer, I'm sorry, but like this is kind of unacceptable. You know, you can't do this type of thing like this is just it's you're here to produce the show. Rufus, I'm sorry you got hungry. And, you know, while we have the code on the fridge, because. Santa Claus kept coming in and eating all the snacks, you know, not if you're going to say if this is how it's going to be moving forward.

    Producer: I don't know. These conditions are just a little bit unacceptable to me. OK, I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if you got the new microphone that you evidently love and you don't even want it. You don't like me and I can't feed people and I don't know what my position is anymore. And I guess we're going to be written up and have a demerit. I don't know.

    Aloysious J. Pig: OK, you know what? This has never happened before. This microphone came in. He's brand new and obviously he's causing a lot of trouble. So microphone, why don't you just hit the road?

    Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters. In Coffee Can Alley, it's recorded, mixed and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar dot com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram. Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts. See you soon. Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts.

  • Bumperpodcast #305 – Jumbled-up!

    Bumperpodcast #305 – Jumbled-up!

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. We have a great interview, some call-ins, and we finally have a Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    It’s almost too much to bear – isn’t it? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    And – don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

    We don’t have a special guest, this week – because everything broke – but – we’re hoping to have one next week (fingers are crossed).


    About This Episode

    In this episode, Natty Bumpercar returns after a two-week hiatus caused by a disastrous OS beta upgrade that broke his recording equipment. He shares stories from his family vacation to Cape Cod, including getting moved to the less convenient cabin number seven with creepy carpeting, rescuing a crab named Mr. Crabs from seagulls, and crying during a screening of Shaun the Sheep. Natty also vents about the challenges of tile flooring, the chaos of kids with scooters, and his frustrations with contractors after three fell through on his home bathroom renovation project. This candid, rambling solo episode showcases Natty's signature storytelling style as he catches listeners up on his life.

    Memorable Quotes

    “If you have a beach cabin don't carpet it, it's creepy. Just make it hardwood. I don't want your tile, your cold cold tile. It feels like it's sucking the soul out of my body.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “So if you're upstairs stealing my stuff keep it down because I'm recording a podcast unless you want to be interviewed.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We watched Shaun the Sheep and I cried. You're sitting next to your kids and there's a song about summer and it's summer and oh man what are you doing.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #vacation #technologyproblems #capecod #family #homerenovation #beach #parenting

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast i just yawned so big i mean like right before i clicked the button it was the biggest longest it was like hey you're about to do something you're here's the yawn here's the biggest jawn you've ever yawned in your entire yawn um but that's not because i'm not excited it's not because i'm not thrilled because i am i'm wonderfully happy to be here i missed you i went on vacation i put out uh an episode while i was on vacation and then i came back to find out that the uh the software and the hardware the technology the things were broken things didn't work i don't know what happened okay i do know what happened i uh i got excited i got giddy and i upgraded my computer's uh os which means operating system to the newest uh uh beta it's called oh it's a beta it's gonna be released in like a few weeks and i was like oh that's safe that's fine even though the whole time there's all these warnings that are like don't don't do this don't do this on your main computer if this is your only computer we highly recommend against you doing this and i was like ah it's fine of course it's gonna be fine what could possibly that's what happened no recording i had interviews set up with people and uh that's how i actually discovered that it didn't work i was like oh i'm so sorry hold on one second uh no it's still not working uh could you please hold on one second i think i've got this uh just need to oh no it's still not hmm okay let me just i'm gonna call you back in a couple of minutes and uh no it never worked so it's fine we rescheduled some stuff actually reached out to the company and it's a specific part of the whole uh of the ordeal uh that records the interviews for pig and everyone seems to like these pig interviews and i certainly enjoy listening to them so um i was i was like well what do i do so i spent like the week trying to figure out everything see if there was new software different software anything that i needed to get or do and there was not company reached back out to me and they said oh looks like you've downloaded the beta and i was like ah you yeah i did how'd you know that so um you know they fixed they made a patch which is very nice of them a little patch uh to fix the beta and now and now it's back up and running so uh that's exciting but what that means now is it's been two uh two weeks since uh an interview uh since a podcast and so i was like i don't even i'm jumping on i gotta talk to my peeps i was on vacation they don't know nothing about nothing right i went to cape cod with the babies and the family and we had a lot of fun it was a lot more fun this year it was a lot of uh well here's a weird thing i'm gonna go first i swear to god the dog is walking around upstairs it sounds like he's uh a gang of people destroying my house there's only a dog here but the amount of noise that i'm hearing above me makes me think i should probably call the police but i'm not because i'm recording and i don't want to miss out on another week so if you're upstairs stealing my stuff keep it down because i'm recording a podcast unless you want to be interviewed i'm not going to be interviewing you interviewed because i can't enter i couldn't interview that'd be great so you break into houses how tell me how you got into that oh really uh-huh and when you when you saw my house what made you think there would be anything of value here oh you're looking at my computer i see interesting should i should mention to you before you're trying to take it i see but i should mention it's on the beta so maybe you don't want to take it that's right i know i don't know why i downloaded it's my only computer ah thanks good interview um so we went to cape cod and the way it works is my my wife's aunts and uncle aunt and uncle have been going there for no joke like 45 years or something amazing like that and then they have their kids and uh so how does it work there's there's there's ocean and there's a hill and there's one cabin two cabin three cabin and then they are number four and they have a nice deck and they can see everything and they have this nice cabin within cabin five six seven are their kids who bring their significant others and their kids we're talking about a lot of people here is what i'm saying and then for the last seven years this was our eighth year for the last seven years we were cabin number six boom boom right there right right at the top of the hill you can go out on there's a little deck in front so you can sit and you can watch the kids playing and we were very excited this year because it was gonna be the first year where we knew that we could just hang out and we could we could see everything that was going on and our kids wouldn't really need us to uh keep them alive as much but some double booking going on i'm assuming the soft wear for the booking engine was in beta i'm just gonna keep saying beta because it makes me happy uh and and uh our cabin got booked our cabin got booked we've been there the last seven years there was a contract but anyway we got moved to cabin number seven which i know you're thinking that's not such a big deal but it's it it was because uh you're that we're cut off by about you know whatever it is 30 yards or whatever no not 30 yards 30 yards 30 yards 30 yards 30 yards that's 90 feet i don't know we'll say 50 say 50 50 60 feet from the other cabins which means you can't get to the kids when they fall off their scooters or when they ram their scooters into other children or when they pick their scooters up and use them as weapons what i'm saying is scooters are really the issue here scooters are the problem and uh to get to them we actually the steps to get off of our little uh cabin you had to go back to the cabin and we had to go back to the cabin and we had to go back to the cabin backwards to get to the steps to then come back the other way which added another 30 or 40 feet which meant it took you a solid if you were hustling it took you about 45 seconds to get down to the kids screaming the whole way what are you doing why would you do that you stop that leave your him alone leave her alone get away from each other i don't know but so the new cabin was weird it was also carpeted which ladies and gentlemen if you have a beach cabin don't carpet it it's creepy all right just letting you know i'm just right up front letting you know i don't know what kind of people listen to this show but if you have a cabin just make it hardwood all right make it tile don't make it tile let's not make it tile tiles cold let's make it wood all right make it nice old wood let's seal it and let's just keep it real i don't want your tile your cold cold tile when i'm walking on tile with my bare feet it feels like it's sucking the soul out of my body it feels like the tile is is a vacuum and every step i take it's just sucking it's just taking the life out of me it's like a crypt i don't want to walk on tile just stop it with a tile and even if there's tile in your bathroom i'm gonna need you to put a little rug in there a little throw rug whatever it's called one of those really furry little rugs all right because i want as little time stepping on tile as i can possibly get anyway it was a great vacation it was nice it was one of those vacations where you're there for a long time and i mean we're there for a week i guess but it feel it felt like longer like some of the times we've been there it's been like you blink your eye and you're like that was so fast that vacation is already over but this one it actually it felt like an extended play it was a remix it was great um and we go i'll one day i'll get the kids in here and they can tell you all about it but if i ask the kids about it because it was already two weeks ago they'll be like what's going on and i'll be like oh my god i'm what'd you do on vacation they'll be like i didn't go on vacation you're like yeah you did you went to cape cod and be like i don't know what did you do i don't know we watched it was one day it was a little bit uh gonna be a little bit rainy so there's a movie theater and they show kids movies and at i think it was like something insane like 8 30 in the morning it might have been 9 30 i don't know it was early we were at a movie theater and we watched sean the sheep oh and i cried it's a movie makes me cry it's sean the sheep it's sean the sheep you should watch that movie it's a great movie oh now i'm crying again it's like because you're sitting next to your kids and there's a song about summer and it's summer and oh man what are you doing oh we also found crabs giant crabs just hanging out on the beach we saved a crab from some seagulls put it in a bucket put it when there's some sand and some water and some seaweed and stuff and we named them crabby or mr crabs i don't know it switched and then we took them to a different place we took them to a place called red river we set them free in the in the beach grass and he walked away and then two days later we were back at red river and there was a giant crab almost twice the size of crabby and i was like look crabby grew my kids were like he must have eaten a good meal and i was like what you guys are so smart and now we're back in school there's been a lot going on is what i'm saying next week i'm excited though because we're gonna be back with the regular bumper podcast with the interviews i'm just trying to catch you up i did a roast battle i was at a comedy show and i did a roast battle i'm gonna talk about more of that and that more uh next week i'm building a bathroom in my house you should i want to tell you about that because why because the contractors all fell through how many three well two fell through and then the last guy his estimate was no joke three times more than the than the other guy and i'm gonna be back with the regular bumper podcast with the interviews guys and i was just like no what are you what are you building what are you what are you building this out of gold i'm i don't need a gold wall that would be pretty nice if i had a gold wall though i'm not gonna lie um but lots going on lots to talk about lots of interviews coming up lots of good stuff coming up let's go bumper podcast

    Unknown: you

  • Bumperpodcast #233 – Bumpercar is a shorn sheep!

    Bumperpodcast #233 – Bumpercar is a shorn sheep!

    Bumpercar does something out of the kindness of his heart – and – our manager is nice and let’s us record an episode about it. This is Bumpercar at his most beardless!

    Do you shave? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.


    About This Episode

    In this heartfelt episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar returns after a week away due to a computer malfunction and shares some personal news. Natty explains his eighteen-hundred-dollar MacBook Pro's logic board failure and his relief that it was covered under warranty. More significantly, he discusses his 95-year-old grandmother's recent fall and broken hip, and the helpless feeling of being far away during her hospitalization. In a touching gesture, Natty decides to shave his five-and-a-half-year beard—something his young children have never seen him without—because his grandmother had expressed strong dislike for it during their recent visit. The episode blends humor with genuine emotion as Natty prepares to surprise his family and send photos to his hospitalized grandmother.

    Memorable Quotes

    “oh precious i'd love to see her but your your face why don't you have that terrible horrible beard on your face boy it's just disgusting you have such a precious face and i just can't stand that beard”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “my children have not seen me without a beard i think once when my my firstborn uh tiny one he might have seen me and he cried”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “you're in the hospital you don't feel good boom and walks in some person uh with balloons your day got a little bit better”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #family #grandparents #personalappearance #technologyproblems #hospitalization #beards #grandchildren

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: let's get down to brass tacks this is the bumper podcast i'm natty bumper car i missed you last week you're like natty where were you you can't do that to us you can't just leave bro my computer died it completely died my eighteen thousand dollar uh macbook pro it wasn't really that expensive uh the logic board uh it was gone for a week my computer i took it to the store and they were like all right and then i was just like what does all right mean and they were like we're gonna just wrap it up and we're gonna here's your receipt and i was like but it's it's not all backed up don't take my computer please and they did they took it away uh but they fixed it and it was under warranty ah because otherwise it would have been a new computer which i cannot do right now because as you may know i just bought a car and i have babies and i have a wife and i have a roof and i need to eat every so often so thanking my lucky stars for that uh but now we're back and i know we're in a storyline right now there's the whole rufus t rufus thing going on but he actually gave me a respite he said i could record this week uh next week i'm on vacation but i'm gonna try to record from the beach i like doing that because i'm at my happiest i'm at my most calm i'm at my most centered i'm my most perfect self when i'm at the beach so i'd like to share that with you uh but he he gave me a respite he said you know what bumper car you got some stuff on your chest why don't you just go out and record this one today i feel sorry for you so here's the story my grandmother my 95 year old grandmother who i think i've mentioned at some point on the podcast uh fell down that's not something you want your grandparents to do you don't want them to fall down she uh broke her hip that's another thing that's two checks checks on the list of things you don't want to have happen to your grandparent um and so she broke her hip and she she got hurt and she's in the hospital and and that's that's rough stuff and and she lives very far away and uh when we went down to georgia we actually went and visited her and we took the kids down and we showed the kids off here are your great grandchildren aren't they great there was a lot of that joke you really are a great grandmother all that kind of uh stuff so uh you know there's nothing i can do from far away we we sent balloons because that's something you do that's a fun thing to do people love balloons you're you're in the hospital you don't feel good boom and walks in some person uh with balloons your day got a little bit better but now she's in the hospital a little bit longer than we were expecting and i was trying to i was like what can i do from up here to help down there you're so far away and uh here's the thing when we were in georgia i have a bit of a beard i don't know if you knew this about me i'm a bearded bumper car and uh when we saw her i hadn't saw her i haven't seen her in a couple years and uh and she was just like oh precious i'd love to see her but your your face why don't you have that terrible horrible beard on your face boy it's just disgusting you have such a precious face and i just can't stand that beard and i was just like all right well it's great to see you okay well it's great to see you too precious your beard and it just went on and on it was i would i would say the bulk of the uh of of the day i would a good 38 percent was uh spent focused laser focused on how much she didn't like my beard so i got an idea this morning and i uh i shaved my beard gone i've had my beard essentially for five and a half years my children have not seen me without a beard i think once when my my firstborn uh tiny one he might have seen me and he cried so tonight when i pick the children up they won't know who i am when i go to work today they won't know who i am my wife won't know who i am but i have a photograph before and after that i will put together and i will send down to the south for just for my grandmother to make her feel better about her beard and i'm going to go to john scott's and give you a little heads up today i have a biraz coming up yes so i'm o am not an orc no more shall i get out the day she can say oh precious i am so happy that you shaved your beard you look so adorable i had no idea though that you look like a scallop because i have no chin

  • Bumperpodcast 73 – Running out of juice.

    Bumperpodcast 73 – Running out of juice.

    On today’s episode of the Bumperpodcast … our intern, Bamboo, goes missing – and when Robot is brought in to help find her … he runs out of juice.

    What a cavalcade of calamities … how will we ever get through all of this in one piece?

    I guess that you’ll have to listen to the Bumperpodcast to find out!

     

     


    About This Episode

    In episode 73 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar welcomes spring and complains about his creaky joints while dealing with chaos at headquarters. Robot mysteriously keeps shutting down and turning back on, leaving Natty confused and calling for help. The situation escalates when intern Bamboo goes missing, only to reveal she was hanging out with Pig at the tool shed. This short comedy episode features Natty's signature rambling commentary about clams being happy in the mud and his attempts to manage the unpredictable puppet crew.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It's a hot spring which is great for my bursitis my joints are all you know creaking because i'm so old”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You're happy as clams which are evidently very happy i don't know why you would be sitting in the mud the silt”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I was down at the tool shed with pig”

    — Bamboo

    Topics: #spring #technologyproblems #interns #friendship #chaos #workplacecomedy

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: yes indeedy do it's me natty bumper car and i'm here and it's spring finally and it's nice weather because that's spring i mean it's hot spring but it's spring it's a hot spring which is great for my bursitis my joints are all you know creaking because i'm so old this spring i'm so old but it doesn't matter because you know what around headquarters here we we got it we have an intern we remember bamboo from last week she's well she's some hold on a second she was right here a second ago let me hey robot robot come here for a second i got a question to ask you robot seriously have a situation i don't need you to sit there and lollygag with your talking talking you're talking gagging is what you're lolly talking i don't need it i wasn't doing any lolly talking i don't even know what lolly talking is everybody i i think robot just ran out of juice i think he just broke robot robot no he's not waking up at all this is terrible we've lost i've lost the intern bamboo robot just turned off this is this is not a banner day at headquarters i don't even have anyone else to yell for i'm trapped here talking not trapped i love talking to you obviously you're a wonderful bumper podcast audience i can see you there bright and shining eyes happy as clams which are evidently very happy i don't know why you would be sitting in the mud the silt but you're very happy i don't know what to do i should talk about something else what were we talking about before spring i don't want to talk about spring anymore i've got a broken robot here lost intern what robot you're waking up you're waking up oh yay he's back i don't know what even happened you ran out of back oh no no no no no no no oh robot you were here for a second and then you're gone again this is terrible hey guys oh all right thank goodness gracious all right all right it's bamboo she came back bamboo where were you we were i was i didn't no one knew i was down at the tool shed with pig you were what down at the tool shed with pig that's crazy you first off robot you're back second off no i didn't pigs everybody's friend