Tag: tea

  • Bumperpodcast #425 – Season 3 – Gramps

    Bumperpodcast #425 – Season 3 – Gramps


    “Gramps” is an episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast set in the whimsical town of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, the show introduces a new character, Gramps, who adds a new layer of humor and craziness to the already lively town. Gramps, with his wild stories and unique personality, quickly becomes a fan favorite.

    The episode also features the return of familiar characters such as Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysius J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, and the always reliable Producer. As they all come together, the town of Coffee-Can Alley becomes a hub of comedic chaos as they engage in a series of improvised sketches and scenes. From witty banter to off-the-wall jokes, this episode is sure to have you in stitches. The Bumperpodcast is a celebration of the unexpected, where anything can happen and no two episodes are ever the same.

    (I have started using AI to write my show descriptions. They are marvelous!)

    Links:

    We have started adding the podcast to Youtube with ridiculous background videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzha2MH5Rf6T89JtRPNqbC0UOxRXxyU0v. Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Email us at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Cute old stuff:

    Another story about saving baby animals!

    A feel good story!

    Previous episode!


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    Gramps 0:05
    bother. I ain’t got time for nothing. I checked my calendar and schedule is awful up. I don’t have any, any even I don’t even I don’t. I don’t have even any time to even think about doing anything. And hey, girl, Hello,

    Natty Bumpercar 0:28
    how you doing? What’s

    going on? What do you do?

    Gramps 0:31
    I saw this telephone set up and I was trying to make a phone call to the doctor, because I have to have to go to the doctor. Yeah, well, oh, you have to go to

    Natty Bumpercar 0:43
    the doctor. Well, that seems like something that we should figure out. Definitely. But we’re not going to do it with that stuff. Because that’s the equipment that we use for the podcast here at

    Gramps 0:58
    lot is called please hand corner.

    Anyway, the kind of headquarters is it?

    What are you doing here that you’re like, Oh, I flew. You know, you were raised to be high flow. But looking at your own. I got all my quick man.

    Y’all got a headquarters.

    I don’t even understand half the words that you even say. What’s up?

    Like, toe cat? Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar 1:30
    Yeah, so we I don’t know. We started calling it headquarters a long time ago, when we were you know, we’re in coffee. Ken alley here and the adjusters superhero team. The zooper Yeah, the superhero team. They have their headquarters and and so they used to a long time ago actually hanging out here and so I guess now that I think about it, they must have named it headquarters and we just kind of moved in. And as far as Bobcat it’s a podcast, podcast podcast. Oh, it’s just like an old radio show basically kind of year you’re talking to people and you have a show and you talk and you say things and say what kind of thing are you saying?

    Gramps 2:14
    Are you giving out your your banking information your social security number or recipes? You got some good like maybe for cornbread biscuits? Or are you tired like doing reviews? Like you know, I want cedar in my fire and not pine because Pon

    Aloysius J. Pig 2:37
    a cramps? What’s going on? What are you doing it? I never seen you in the podcast studio. Pig. Sherry is little ham himself. Yeah. Oh, yes. coming in and talking and talking pig again. Yeah. Good to see you. Yeah, anyway, sorry that I had Bumpercar I’m gonna probably just leave you guys to this today. But there’s a little bug going around the house. So if anybody cook a

    Gramps 3:09
    cockroach,

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:10
    no, not like a kaka wrote? Like a upper respiratory sickness. You know, it’s a little bit. Everybody’s a little gunked up right now. So I just want you to watch out for it. Wash your hands. You should probably put a mask on. Oh, look those masks at all? Yes, of course. Cramps of course. But you should be should just take care. Okay. Okay. I’m out. Go back to your star. Yeah.

    Gramps 3:37
    Back to the star.

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:39
    One Gramps. Good one. Thanks.

    Gramps 3:41
    Oh, Natty I don’t know why you hang out with that little man with me. He’s fun everything but he’s a pig. You know, you cannot Yeah, you should like oh, he’s my best friend and he’s a beast pig. You know are people people talk is all I’m saying. You can’t go into town and people are like, Oh, I wonder if he’s gonna issue Granger gonna bring that pig out. I’m like, I don’t I can’t control him. He’s up there in his headquarters, you know, loop de loop

    Rufus T. Rufus 4:14
    raps what’s going on? It’s me. Rufus tearoom. The lawyer you want to stay now I heard you say looped in with somebody here. Let’s act in a little loop. delu that seems a little loop to Lou to you. Because you know what happens if anyone isn’t familiar loopty loop is the term around here and it’s in the contract course that I drew up because I am a lawyer that states and definitive and to that. If you live too low, then you’re out of the show. Basically Bumpercar was looped to glue at some point and he no longer had control of his faculties we sell say and I had to turn over the keys to the to the show to the bumper podcast. It was a time of growth a time of now.

    Gramps 4:58
    You owe me money.

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:00
    What what is that gramps?

    Gramps 5:02
    Remember, I gave it you alone. And I feel like you owe me so a lot of you owe you a you owe me some money and I would appreciate it if you would. Rate you know,

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:19
    as they say, give me Well, as I always say natty grams is great to see now I’m busy right now Oh, triple quadruple booked and, and also reading triple books. So I gotta scoot on out of here but always good to see you grabs and we’ll be

    Gramps 5:40
    watching. You come back. I’m gonna allow

    somebody stop. Okay, this is incorrigible. I can’t even believe I’m being treated today. I’m home grown song.

    Room studio,

    y’all quit mass think and I don’t appreciate none of this. Oh,

    Natty Bumpercar 6:06
    I’m happy that you stopped by and that you’re here. You know, but this is we’re making a podcast and so I it’s kind of it says, you know, I’m sorry about Rufus owing you money. I wish you were nicer to pig. But

    Producer 6:28
    naughty, it’s me, our producer. And I noticed that we have the grand the grand man here. And I don’t Is Is he on the podcast today as he levels? Are we should we just I don’t what are we doing? And he stopped the outline for the show. Or anything? Yeah,

    Natty Bumpercar 6:49
    I I didn’t see the outline.

    Gramps 6:53
    Tell me that this thing is is recording right now. You’ve had this whole conversation for the last 10 minutes. And it’s being recorded. That’s what I talk about this. There’s cameras everywhere. There’s microphones everywhere there. You’re, you’re out to get us your your generation, your younger generation is out to get us and I don’t appreciate it. I didn’t sign anything. And I don’t want to be recorded.

    Producer 7:24
    I was wondering if Rufus maybe could help with

    Gramps 7:30
    roofers, your

    Producer 7:32
    car seat, sir. Yeah, of course. I know. He does. Take your money from time to time for me that’s been the back No. Well, anyway, I’m so sorry that they confusion I. Normally when people come in, I just start recording because I don’t know when we’re going to, you know, make the podcast or when we’re not. And so I say okay, this looks like my chance. And then I hit the bathroom. And I’m very, you know, apologetic. But I think we’ve done a wonderful job so far. If I’m to be honest,

    Gramps 8:07
    I am sorry to pop my head back in here. So I don’t mean to interrupt twice now. But did I hit something about scripts? Like our outlines? I didn’t know we were starting to do that kind of stuff. Are we going to start having scripts? Because that actually seems like it might be work. And I don’t know if I’m into that is what I’m trying to. I have my hands up and I’m rolling them out. I’m saying I am pointing at myself. I don’t know both hands pointing at you. If I both again, it may am into that. And that’s me putting my hands up like whoa, I don’t that’s if this is just me showing up and saying jibber jabber up on it. You know this. If this is me, having to sit down with you guys at a writers table

    Aloysius J. Pig 8:51
    who’s you don’t know about

    Gramps 8:53
    me like

    maybe friend is just a layabout. He doesn’t even want to work for anything. He just expects the world to come to him and I say that’s not how it works. In my day, if I wanted to eat, I had to walk up a mountain, cross a river and then into a valley and then wrestle a bear and then get the map to where the food was from the bear and then go to the frozen tundra because the food was there because that’s where it was kept cold it makes sense and I put it in my satchel and then we’ll go all the way back okay give a little bit to the bear because I feel bad that’s wrestling with a very nice and then heated up it would I would go three weeks in between my meal three weeks, really three four times a year I would eat.

    Natty Bumpercar 9:54
    I I don’t want to question you, but I don’t know think that that the stories that I’ve heard this aren’t, this isn’t true, maybe I mean, like, you can’t go three weeks without eating. I don’t know what you would do you wouldn’t do well, and then just say you only ate three or four times a year, even four times a year that would that would say at that three weeks a clip that’s 12 weeks. So that’s that’s that’s only full. Let’s do the math. Three months. I I again, I’m not questioning you. You have you. i Oh, I don’t

    Gramps 10:38
    that eats me doodle total. Time. Who makes drawings? Hey, doodle. Hey, Grant was

    talking dog. You’re talking frog? Talking ping? It

    is played? It’s like the Berenstein No,

    I can’t remember what it’s called.

    Natty Bumpercar 11:03
    The Bremen Town Musicians, which was a favorite book of mine growing up and there was Davis chicken and there’s cat and there was a dog and maybe trying to think a goat. Maybe a horse. I don’t remember. But yeah, I know what you’re talking about. But there was a lot of animals in that good catch. Hey, Judo poodle. Thanks so much for stopping by. That’s very weirdly well timed for you. Could you maybe do me a favor and see if gramps wants to go with you to your studio to maybe you could show him some of your some of your doodles some of your artwork

    Doodle Poodle 11:38
    just sounds like the best idea that I’ve ever heard in my life. Would you be interested in baby going away studio checking out some of my amazing

    Gramps 11:57
    genius gonna send me away with this talk and dog high pitched voice to his art studio.

    Sees doodles.

    Natty Bumpercar 12:09
    I think that’d be nice.

    Gramps 12:11
    I don’t know about this. Well, I

    Natty Bumpercar 12:13
    just I want you to if you’re gonna be hanging around, I want you to meet some of the other people here at headquarters. And I mean, it’s not like you have a lot on your schedule. Anyway, isn’t.

    Gramps 12:23
    That reminds me my schedule is so JAM PACKED again do anything.

    Outro 12:42
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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  • Bumperpodcast #190: Running and Food

    Bumperpodcast #190: Running and Food

    The guests have been booted away from the Bumperpodcast – and given satchels of food for their travels. Natty Bumpercar doesn’t like eating – or – running.

    Do you like to get to the bottom of things? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.


    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 190, Natty Bumpercar kicks the children out of headquarters after receiving feedback from listeners. Flying solo, Natty rambles about his complicated relationship with food, from his brief obsession with superfood smoothies to his current dilemma of eating making him feel sluggish. He muses about running marathons, the logistics of exercise, and the unfortunate fact that Bumpercar headquarters sits in a valley where every direction is uphill. The episode showcases Natty's signature stream-of-consciousness comedy as he flip-flops between liking and disliking food, accidentally creates a song about getting up to get down, and admits he'll never be a politician due to his wishy-washy stance on eating.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I gave each of them a knapsack with a pear and a pickle and some popcorn because my children only eat things that begin with the letter p.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You got to get up to get down, you got to get up to get down, you got to get up to get down you clown.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm so wishy-washy on these issues this is why I'll never be a politician because I flip-flop back and forth.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #food #eating #health #exercise #running #smoothies #parenting

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car it's the bumper podcast it's whatever day today is and hey look at this no children on this week's episode why natty bumper car oh well because we actually got mail email uh messages where the people were just like no no no no more of that that was not no we can't no no so we kicked the children out and not even just out of the studio out of out of the house out of headquarters they are wandering around i gave each of them a knapsack with a pear and a pickle and uh some popcorn because my children only eat things that begin with the letter p they eat persimmons they eat peanuts and of course they will occasionally eat you know uh plum that's another thing that they eat really there's a lot of foods that begin with the letter p and speaking of foods i feel like i'm at a point in my life right now where i don't i don't like food i don't like to eat it doesn't make me feel good it makes me feel sluggish and tired and not so good well maybe that's the kind of food you're eating natty maybe it is i don't know i was on a kick for a few months where i was making these smoothie things with like oh look i'm just gonna throw some kale in here and some carrots and some uh apples and some berries and some yogurt and some uh oatmeal like i'm just making spirulina bee pollen like all this stuff was going into my uh my smoothie thing and i am depressed to admit that i actually felt that way when i was doing this and i don't know why i've stopped all of a sudden um i think my brain was just like got sick of i think i started missing chewing or something like that where i was just like i remember chewing that was fun but then here's the thing i chew i go and i eat that kind of food and uh guess what i don't feel so good like i just want to take a nap i eat and then i want to take a nap that's not how you want to feel you want to eat and feel better and then go run a marathon or whatever it is people do do people do that can you eat and then run a marathon or is it like swimming where you can't run a marathon for like an hour after you eat because you'll get cramps i don't know i don't run marathons i barely run at all because running to me is just it just sounds like so much work like what i'm supposed to do i i gotta put i gotta find my shoes i don't gotta put them on i gotta find my shoes i gotta find some socks i you know i gotta some basically i gotta get dressed if i gotta tie my shoes probably gotta tie them properly there's probably a way that you have to tie your shoes that enables you to run more better i don't know and the thing is everywhere around headquarters is uphill we're in a gully we're in a gulch we're in a valley so if i'm gonna run anywhere it's gonna be running straight up no thanks thank you and you could think to yourself well the run back is gonna be easier you're just gonna you know you could just lay down and roll back to roll back to the headquarters and i'm like well yeah but i gotta get up before i can get down hold on a second did you hear what just happened because i did because you got to get up to get down you got to get up to get down you got to get up to get down you got to get up to get down you clown is not the song i don't know why i said clown at the end there i mean it rhymed sure but i think if you look at linearly at the whole conversation it doesn't make a ton of sense so what have we talked about today no children uh they do eat foods that came with the letter p which turned this into a weird sesame street episode all of a sudden uh i myself natty bumper guard do not like to eat you know i would i might go on a hunger strike i did just have some cereal though it was pretty delicious oh maybe i do like to eat i'm so wishy-washy on these issues this is why i'll never be a politician because i flip-flop back and forth so what is it bumper guard do you like to eat do you not like to eat why don't you tell me why don't you make a stand and i'm like i don't know i guess when i'm hungry i like to eat you know i do like to do i like to drink tea but that's not food it's not sustenance it's just caffeine really which is there anything better in the world than caffeine there is why won't you tell me what it is please

  • Bumperpodcast 66 – Moving!

    Bumperpodcast 66 – Moving!

    It’s all about Headquarters . . .  why?! Because – Headquarters is getting moved from over here to over there.

    Moving. Moving. Moving. All of the world is moving all around and all about.

    We also learn that putting Cranberry juice into the morning cup of tea is a delicious treat that gets a Bumpercar’s day started out super-duper right!

    Listen today to here all of that and a whole lot more – today – on the Bumperpodcast!

    Don’t forget to email me your questions, musings and whatnot at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Hooray!


    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar returns after a week-long absence to explain the chaos at headquarters. The show is in the midst of moving to a new location, with everything being packed up and moved. Natty is clearly frazzled by the relocation process, admitting he doesn't even know the new address yet beyond that it starts with the letter C. The episode captures Natty's energetic, stream-of-consciousness style as he discusses packing up elephants' trunks, drinking cranberry juice tea that turns into rocket fuel, and the general confusion that comes with moving too much. It's a short but amusing glimpse into the behind-the-scenes upheaval of the podcast's production.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Too much moving equals confused bumper car. I mean, I just learned my address for headquarters this.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I put a little cranberry juice in my tea this morning. Oh, that's a good trick for me to find out about. Evidently, cranberry juice makes my tea in the morning rocket fuel.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #moving #headquarters #behindthescenes #cranberryjuice #confusion #anxiety

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Where in the world, where in the beans, where in the hill of beans have you been, Daddy Bumpercar? We've been missing you. You weren't here last week and the website hasn't been updated except for all those Mott the Sheep pictures, which don't even really seem like updates because it just seems like you're putting pictures of a sheep on the website. Where have you been? Well, calm down, everybody. There's crazy stuff going on over here in headquarters. Yeah, in headquarters, around headquarters, all about headquarters because you know what's going on? We're pulling up the tent stakes, pulling up the tent poles, the elephants are all around. They're gathering up their belongings. They're gathering up their peanuts and their, um, their, their, their, their things. Wait a minute. Their trunks. That's what I was trying to say. They're packing their trunks. I wish I would have said that just like I just said it. And not like I had to think about it. Hello, everyone. We're moving headquarters. We're in the midst of moving headquarters. Everything's going into boxes. Everything's getting wrapped up tightly and nicely because we don't want to break anything. Even though, unfortunately, sometimes when we move, things get broken. Sometimes hearts get broken when you move. I know. It's so sad. What have you guys been doing? Like, I know I could just sit here and talk about myself. Sometimes I worry about you guys, too, especially when I haven't talked to you for a whole week. Am I going too fast? Wow. What was in my tea that I drank? Oh, that's right. I put a little cranberry juice in my tea this morning. Oh, that's a good trick for me to find out about. Evidently, cranberry juice makes my tea in the morning rocket fuel. It really just winds me up. Well, not only the tea, but the whole fact that headquarters is moving. I'm not going to lie to you guys. I was freaked out. I don't like to move. I move too much. Too much moving equals confused bumper car. I mean, I just learned my address for headquarters this. We call this place headquarters this. We're calling new headquarters headquarters that. I don't even know where it is. People say to me, well, bumper car, where's your new headquarters? And I say to them. I don't know. And I'm not even being like obtuse. I honestly genuinely don't know. It's in. I say it's in a place that begins with the letter C. And that's not enough for people. People want more. People want a letter C. You're moving to the letter C bumper car. That doesn't make any sense. Why are you being so like that? And I said like this.

    Unknown: She's going to. I said you're pushing the collaborative. You're pushing the collaborative. We're gonna make sure everybody's back up next year. Keep it up. Be ahuman. We're not gonna let it hurt our friends. We're not gonna let anybody make you out on campus unless you take over. No! You gotta come back over next year, bitches. But we did it anyways. I know, didn't we? Always. I'm out. I'm out. Bye guys. Bye guys. I wanna kiss. Take a while. I don't know. Could get all these things over with. Bye.