Tag: stand-up

Natty Bumpercar: all right mental note to everyone who's starting a podcast uh from someone who's been doing it for a long long time and should know better do not record an episode uh about how sad you are and then inadvertently take three months three months three weeks off uh don't take three months off either because that's longer than three weeks because uh then people are gonna worry about you which is nice and they reach out and they want to see are you okay which is so sweet and i appreciate that and i am uh i've been so busy you guys and uh and and i'm not sad anymore i don't think maybe i'm a little bit sad but i'm not i'm much better and i think part of that has to do with spring considering happening uh it hasn't happened yet uh uh last weekend was easter sunday easter bunny came and uh and it was a gorgeous day beautiful day kids running around outside the next day six inches of snow what and then the next day after that fog fog so thick you couldn't see your hand in front of your face uh and then last night last night was the windiest night ever it's so we're living in uh some sort of crazy uh weather world where people just spin a wheel and it's just like oh now you're in a desert that's not weather is it you know uh but i gotta tell you a story here's a funny story speaking of easter we uh last week we had we was on a thursday the thursday before easter and you know every morning i let irving brown socks our uh resident border collie black lab i opened the back door there's a fenced in yard and i let him go out into the yard to do whatever he's gonna do i don't ask him what he does he just goes out there and does stuff and uh but when i opened the door i heard a commotion down on the edge of the of the deck and uh we have a groundhog who lives under our deck i don't know if it's the groundhog i don't know if he sees his shadow he's uh not very receptive to me trying to form a relationship with him a friendship uh but i definitely did not want the dog to go out because that is a kerfuffle that i did not feel like dealing with at that time so i grabbed the dog i said go back inside and i went to check to see what was going on what was the hubbub what was the commotion and i get to the edge of the deck and i look and it was not the groundhog in our soccer net we have like a one of those little soccer nets for the kids uh there was there was a bunny rabbit there was a giant i mean like he was really big too like he was all stretched out and end of tips of toes to tips of toes uh you know ears to nose everything he was probably like 14 inches like it was a pig it was big it was kind of intimidating large but he had gotten caught in this in the soccer net i guess his big idea was i'm gonna run through i'm gonna run through that net and it did not work out for him and uh so i was like oh no oh no oh no oh no okay trapped bunny so i went back inside and i was like hey guys we caught the easter bunny we got we got the easter bunny we got the easter bunny come check out he and they were like what because there has been some you know talk around around the house that oh easter bunny's not real easter bunny's nah easter bunny's not real and i'm like bro easter bunny's real and he's like easter bunny's not real i'm like you wrote him a letter asking for certain things he's real and uh and he's like so and so at school says he's not real says he's a fake and i was just like why are you gonna listen to that kid listen to me which is probably setting up you know some horrible thing in the future because there's a bunny trail there's a peter cottontail you know easter baskets how else am i getting easter baskets in my house i ask you uh anyway so i grabbed the kids we went outside they check out they were like oh my god it's easter bunny and i was like listen i don't know if that's the actual easter bunny or if he's just like a friend of the easter bunny if he's like uh if he's spying on us if he's taking notes to take back to the easter bunny and they were just like so i was like all right life lesson here's how we save this animal i went inside and i got some gloves and i got a towel and i got some scissors and uh so i go out and you know you you're gentle you'd calm you go up to the bunny and i put the towel over his head and i was kind of uh with my let me think left hand i just held him down right right there at his neck uh kind of on his head gentle little hold down and the right hand i had the scissors and i start to uh gently cut the net in between him and the net so that he can escape now while i'm doing this one of my children uh was like i'm so sorry easter bunny i'm so sorry and the other kid at the same time was screaming out he was just like so i want uh lego i want minecraft you know i want a big chocolate bunny and like he's just listing all the stuff that he wants to this poor rabbit and uh the rabbit he escapes he gets out he runs away and i was just like bro maybe you should have asked him for a new soccer net because this one is now trashed and he was just like oh good point good point uh uh so then we had easter easter bunny saved i'm a hero uh easter bunny saved and then uh then you know we had easter i just said that wow but we had 18 people at our house and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i don't know if i think i've talked about it i've been building a bathroom in my house like there's a room it's it's their toy room it's like the back room of the house and it used to be i think it might it used to be a uh a porch and they turned it into a closed-in room and that's where the toy room but i carved out a little bit of that and i and i had to build two walls i had to close up a wall on the window on the wall and all sorts of stuff but and i built a bathroom and i had the the electricians in the summers do their stuff because i don't have any time to learn that or to figure out how to do code stuff but and i put in tile and uh put in a chair rail and wainscoting and wainscotting i don't know how to say that and even the people at home depot don't know how to say it which is interesting wainscotting wainscoting i don't know you don't know who cares then uh and you know uh put in a pocket door so it's a little door that goes inside the wall and i had to put in a neat little handle for that uh and so uh the goal i had it all finished not finished i had it all in there by the time easter came so we had an extra bathroom and i put a coat of primer on it so it's all white but now i have to go back in and do some finish work a little bit of caulking a little bit of spackling a little bit of sanding uh but then it's gonna be done and i've died and then it's done there's so much pressure off it that was one of the things so much pressure pressure pressure pressure um and i think what else i've been doing a lot of shows it's another reason i've been so tired because i've been doing so many shows which is awesome it's phenomenal it's great it makes me happy and then people are like you're doing so good at the shows and i'm like ah thanks i don't take compliments well i'm not good are you guys good at taking compliments if somebody's like hey bumper podcast kateer you're for not you're really good at listening to the bumper podcast do you think are you like ah i'm all right at it i don't know i try i mean i try to listen i i do i do a lot of things i do a lot of things i do a lot of things all right that's how i was at the shows i was like ah thanks i said words that's what i always say i said some words i said i said them in order some of them some of them i said too fast and they weren't in order and they didn't understand them that's fine um but route i've had rowdy crowds and i've done well with the rowdy crowds uh because i move quick here's something that i i don't know if i'm learning i'm trying to figure out what i'm learning uh but if you have structured jokes a structured joke is set up and then punchline so uh set up punchline uh uh why did the uh oh yeah why did the pony go to the doctor that's your setup why did the pony go to the doctor because he was a little horse that's your punchline it's it's terrible i get it but why did the pony go to the doctor because he was a little horse uh so those kind of jokes sometimes the crowd is rowdy they're they don't want to listen they're like we don't care about your your funny little story so what i end up doing is just like exploding on them and just like this thing oh that thing crazy thing and moving really fast and quick which sometimes you're not going to get sustained laughter you're not going to get it like all the way through but you're going to get like pockets of laughter and bursts of laughter uh they're like what is happening this is crazy this guy is crazy like that and uh but it's been working and then i can still dip into material if i need to and um it's fun i've had a lot of fun now the weird thing is is is that's how i used to do stand-up was just this tangential just hitting everything i could as quick as i could uh and then i was like oh my god i'm gonna do this and i used to not give any any room for laughs i figured out that uh they're since they're supposed to laugh that i i pause every so often and i do let them laugh and then and then i'll go into material but the thing is is that that's working at elks lodge and vfws in pennsylvania and new jersey and delaware and all these places over here uh but if you go into into the city it's a different animal entirely because they don't really care so much about i mean they want hey you got you know seven minutes four minutes whatever five seven uh and they want you to be like boom joke boom joke boom joke boom joke and they want you to prove that you can do that and then i think they maybe will take the uh reins off a little bit and let you play around a little bit but it's it's that hitting that sweet spot because for me i don't enjoy doing uh boom joke boom joke boom joke it doesn't work well with my brain it never has uh and so it's it's something i gotta kind of rectify and figure out but i'm having fun so i gotta keep doing it right doing a bumper podcast talking you guys i've been drawing flyers for comedy shows have you seen them i don't know how i don't know i'll figure out how to link to them but uh i've done like i don't know one seven maybe like eight or something at this point where people like hi they're like hey we're gonna give you money and you're going to draw things and i'm like yes you're gonna give me money and then i'm like all right cool and then they don't even they're just like they don't tell me what to draw they just let me draw anything and they put the flyer information on it and then it comes out you know something ridiculous like i had one there were these two comedians and there was a guy sitting on an eagle jousting another guy who was sitting on a kitten like it's how much fun is that it's great and then uh for the elk slot there was uh i drew an elk on this on stage telling a joke and then uh two elks at the table making fun of that elk and then the comedians i drew their little heads like mounted on the wall and it was so it's like this is what i this is this is what i want to do i just want to do more of it and i want to uh sleep sometimes too one of the children got up at 5 15 today not nice child not nice at all anyway bumper podcast i'm sorry i left you saying that i was sad i'm happier now it's better now the world's a good place and you're awesome and it's even better because you're in it so hugs and hearts you