Tag: self-care

Bumperpodcast #451 – Season 3 – Turtles

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar talks about turning over a new leaf and not double and triple booking himself. Also, there are turtles! Don’t miss out — listen, subscribe, and share the laughter today!

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About This Episode

In this solo episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar finds himself alone in the studio after accidentally breaking all the recording equipment while fiddling with settings that were working perfectly fine. With Producer and the rest of the gang mysteriously gone, Natty reflects on his tendency to quadruple-book himself and the resulting chaos in his life. He shares hilarious stories about therapy sessions without couches, attempting to organize his time by making endless lists, and his recent adventure caring for two hatchling red-eared slider turtles named by his kids. Through self-deprecating humor and rambling observations, Natty explores themes of self-care, overwhelm, and the simple joy of watching turtles eat their floating food pellets.

Memorable Quotes

“I can do two or three things at the same time and be in different places at the exact same time, I've mastered that, but once you get up into like four it's I really I can't do it.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“Self-care? Doc didn't you hear I'm double triple quad booked how could I there's no time for self-care who's got time for self-care?”
— Natty Bumpercar

“That one's a buster. He kind of just like sees you coming and he'll jump into the water and swim around and I used to think he was terrified but I think he expects food.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #self-care #therapy #timemanagement #turtles #pets #parenting #technologytroubles #overwhelm

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: i can't even express how annoyed i am right now i sat down to record the bumper podcast which you're listening to because you're amazing and i super appreciate it and i started fiddling why we started fiddling with the software started fiddling with the knobs which were working before so why fiddle there's no reason to fiddle and then everything broke and i didn't know how to get back there there were there were uh restarts of the computer restarts of the software um there was there were some searches there were some internet searches and uh finally i mean it's not the same as it was before but at least i can see that it's recording something which you know to me is as much of a win as i expected at this point i uh it here's the thing when i was recording i was like oh you know it sounds like there's a little bit of an echo huh oh i wonder how to fix that huh and then i started i was like maybe this will get rid of it oh oh wait what oh what just happened oh no and and so that's what uh that's what i've been doing for the last hour so it's pretty exciting uh i know you're all uh sitting on the edge of your seat saying well where's where's producer is it doesn't he normally handle this stuff doesn't he normally take care of the the the software and the bells and the whistles and whatnot yes but everyone is out right now uh i they i don't know where they don't tell me where they go um they just kind of pig took the car keys and uh they didn't even really say goodbye i the way they say goodbye is kind of sweet though they um you can just hear the door shut behind them and then you're like oh okay bye see you later okay bye i'm just gonna stay here and fiddle um yeah so i i probably should have let producer handle the uh the the the fiddling and the tweaking and the turning of the knobs and the pushing of the buttons because uh what i got myself into was a real calamity at a point i said this is a real calamity to myself out loud because um it was and that was the only way i knew how to express the frustration that i was going through i um speaking of being frustrated have tried to get better at not uh doing as many things as i was doing before so not uh not double booking double booking everyone can handle that not uh triple and quadruple booking uh that's where i seem to get into trouble i i can do uh two or three things at the same time and be in different places at the exact same time time i've i've mastered that uh but once you get up into like four it's i it really i can't do it and uh you know people get frustrated you know oh why do you why do you double triple book why are you quad booking and i'm like i don't know my brain thinks i can do everything all the time for everybody and um uh i was i was told that that's not the case not that's not how it works you know if you're if you're gonna commit to doing something then you should go do that thing and and be there like have your mind present and i was like wait so just having my my body here or just you know while i'm on the call that's in my ear and while i'm also uh walking the dog that's that's uh it's not okay and they're like no you're distracted you're you're in several different places at the same time and i'm like exactly and they're like exactly you see the tone difference there i thought i was i had it that i had figured it out and they were more uh uh frustrated so that you know that happens and that's that's fine you know i uh i don't know if any of you have ever been to a therapist it's super fun uh because they have to listen to you for however long it is and um it's a weird thing all the television shows cartoons they uh they make it seem like oh there's a couch there's there's no couch in mine at least i don't know i assume some must have a couch depending on how much space they have mine has a chair there's like two different kinds of chairs and you know sometimes you know when i'm going in and i'm chatting uh they're like well how are you feeling and i'm like i'd feel a lot better if there was a couch in here you know just because it would give me the sense uh that this was this was real that what we were doing you know i was like doc if you can't even commit to you know the proper piece of furniture then what what are we even doing here right what what do we what am i are we wasting our time i hope not but the funny thing is at the end you know after you've discussed things and talked about billing or whatever you do uh yeah they say uh so what do you uh before we you know see each other again what do you plan to do for yourself what do you you know plan to do for self-care self-care and the first time i heard that i uh actually i actually fell on the floor i you know i i couldn't catch my breath i was laughing so hard catch self-care doc didn't you hear i'm double triple quad booked how could i there's no time for self-care who's got time for self-care i gotta keep that boat afloat over there i've got to keep uh that that fire over there at bay uh and i have to keep you know i've got to keep that boat afloat over there i've got to keep that that fire over there you know the roof from leaking and i have to keep uh all the the chickens fed and uh you know on and on and on so so self-care for me is um just waking up the next day to start it all again which um evidently not sustainable not something you can just keep doing forever um you uh you get tired you get cranky you uh you might get some uh really i think wonderful bags under your eyes little dark circles right uh and might get sick more often so that's you know that's something that's going to probably happen and then you might run into the situation that i did where people get frustrated with you because you've double you've triple and you've quadruple booked yourself so i'm working on not doing more but the way my brain approached not doing more was by taking on a few different tasks uh like one being you know organizing myself in my time it's like if i organize myself in my time then i can prioritize and if i can prioritize and i won't be double and triple booked and uh i um now i spend a lot of time making notes making lists and uh prioritizing on top of everything else that i was so people were like hey you didn't make it to the meeting where were you and i'm like oh yeah yeah and that's okay i was i was organizing my time all right i was prioritizing and they're like well you you don't seem like you you know you're committed to this and i'm like but that's exactly what i'm doing i'm you know i had i had like i had to make a note with a to-do list that was broken out with different times and different days different goals right otherwise i'm not going to just flying by the seat of my pants and they're like well you maybe you should have done that when you're not supposed to be meeting with us i'm like whoa whoa whoa baby steps all right baby steps you everybody just take a deep breath and uh understand what's what's happening here and they took a deep breath and they said i well what is happening here and i said i really don't know i just i was hoping that was going to end the conversation hoping by kind of leaving that out there that that was going to be the end of it and um you know i wasn't i wasn't expecting you to keep going so honestly this is kind of on you right read the room um i was throwing up facades and i was throwing up uh you know fake fronts and i was throwing up uh all kinds of subterfuge and smoke and mirrors and and you just kind of kept on walking down the street and uh and tagged me so now i'm it and i i didn't even want to be playing tag i um yesterday i was in a reptile store i know that's hold on i hope you didn't get whiplash from that but i was in i was in a reptile store with my kids because um someone gave us uh two what are they called hatchling red-eared slider turtles and they're i don't know how big they are like i'm trying to show you but i know this is audio but they're about that big no um hmm trying to give a a good uh a racquetball they're about the the size of a racquetball around not tall because that would be weird to have a circular turtle but they're you know round and flat like turtles are supposed to be and uh the kids have named them we have spent all the money buying a new habitat and setting all of that up with filters and heaters and uh you know all the things little lights for the turtles um little uh dock that they can rest on really they're living their best little turtle lives but one of them is has been a little bit um lethargic which is a funny way to describe a turtle but it's it's true he's he's kind of just like he's there he's hanging out but he's not moving around as much and you're probably like yeah that sounds like what a turtle's supposed to do that's what i used to think too but the other turtle who i keep saying that one's a buster like that i think i've said that almost every day since we've had the turtles oh that one that one there that's a buster and what i mean by that is he kind of just like he's he seems like he's gotten a little bit bigger and he will see you coming and he'll jump into the water and swim around and uh and i used to think he was terrified but i don't feel like he's got a little bit bigger he is i feel like he's uh kind of playing with with i don't know i mean he's he's looking out of the tank sees you coming jumps and then i think what it is is he expects when i come for there to be food and so maybe he's like all right i gotta get into my eating position i gotta get into my my eating you know spot and and it's so fun because the uh the food they're these little tiny pebbles and they float and not not pebbles not rocks but uh because that's that's not something anyone could eat um but little pellets of uh pellets of turtle food that float and so he'll like he's swimming underneath it he can see his little head he's looking around and then he zooms up and he does this like his little head pops out further and his mouth just grabs on to it and it's kind of amazing to watch it's much more fun than you than what i'm describing it's uh a shockingly good time like i've found myself on multiple occasions just sitting and watching the turtles like oh look what they're look at that look what he's doing look at that one he's oh you know you know he's over there but then one of the turtles was being lethargic and and and i was just like oh no i i don't want my turtles to get hurt the children have become attached so we went to a um a reptile shop and uh we're looking around and this tiny kid comes up to my kids and he's like oh no i don't want my turtles to get hurt and he's like oh no i don't want my turtles to get hurt and she's probably like three i'll say and she goes hey hey you want to play tag and my kid's like uh no and i was like good good on you all right that's a good decision child oh mine

Unknown: you it's just sometimes like it's funny how you can do something a little wrong to your kids if you've been with them a very long time they will kind of blame you and say oh well you're about to be merciva and they're like you know uh yourself i'm gonna blame you it's fine i'm gonna blame every single one of you but then you'd kind of get a bit of nerve by being produced by them and i know that translate a little bit 날스 процент

March 6, 2025
Bumperpodcast #418 – Season 2 – Hot Money Bag

There is a crash, and a heat wave. Who knows if and how those things are related … The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!
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[av_toggle_container faq_markup=’faq_markup’ initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” size-toggle=” av-medium-font-size-toggle=” av-small-font-size-toggle=” av-mini-font-size-toggle=” size-content=” av-medium-font-size-content=” av-small-font-size-content=” av-mini-font-size-content=” heading_tag=” heading_class=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-l60ubls9′ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-l60ub4u4′ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:04 I want to say hello to all my guides all my girls and all my non binary pals. This is the bumper pod guys broadcasting live from the surface of the sun, because that’s just how hot it is. Right? Aloysius J. Pig 0:26 I actually gave you $10 If you can maintain that Natty Bumpercar 0:31 what was that? What does something just fell and I don’t know what it was but it was big I am so sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt your ears. Hi. Aloysius J. Pig 0:41 This is lost the voice you lost a voice Natty Bumpercar 0:44 Yeah, okay, I lost the voice Fine. Fine. Fine. Aloysius J. Pig 0:46 Yeah. All this is not a safe work environment. I’m not sure how I needed to talk to. But I mean, we got that something fell off the shelf and it was it was lot Rufus T. Rufus 0:58 I just heard a commotion in here ever whatever wanted me Rufus Tim Rufus. And just wondering if anyone needs in the legal action or authority to be taken charge taken a hold because I didn’t know and get injured in the calamity. Natty Bumpercar 1:19 No, no one got hurt. Just something fell off a shelf while we were recording. And it was it was loud, but I still don’t even really know what it was. But everyone’s okay, Rufus. Thanks for checking in. Well, Aloysius J. Pig 1:33 actually, I just wanted to jump in physically, obviously, I’m okay. Emotionally, I might be a little bit scarred. I might. So I’m just saying that. I don’t know if there’s any illegal legal ramifications or repercussions for something like that. But, you know, I do feel like this is going to impact me for quite some time. So roof is no sidebar. Maybe we should No, no, no, no, no, Natty Bumpercar 2:03 you don’t need to talk to Rufus. Everything’s fine reversed. You can you can skidooed or Skadoodle or skedaddle, or whatever it is you do Rufus T. Rufus 2:11 is I recently have taken to school Watlington which is your water but just scooting at the school bottle you understand but now you can’t kick me out but it’s Aloysius here he is asked me for some representation in what I can tell was a very stressful situation. What’s a Natty Bumpercar 2:31 fit? uation? Are you trying to say situation? Trying to say a situation that fits and so becomes a bit junction you see, I’m pretty sure you’re just making that up. I think you were trying to say situation and for some reason, you said fit and then you just are now trying to make it into a whole other word. Maybe just admit that you find you don’t even have to admit anything. You know what? People say things sometimes aren’t the right words. And you don’t even have to admit it. You know, I’m gonna let it fly. I’m gonna let it pass. Because we have actual things to talk about on this episode of the bumper podcast and we haven’t even gotten to anything Aloysius J. Pig 3:13 No, I think we’ve really have gotten to something is is you evidently now policing the words that are coming out of our mouths and how they are coming out of our mouths. And is this going to be a new thing? So like in the podcast, so if you’re like, Oh, I’m totes bunu then am I gonna go and look it up and be like oh, but no isn’t even really aware you know Rufus T. Rufus 3:39 I’m agreeing with Allah wishes I feel like this has become a toxic work environment will of course the come visit Google dangers No, no. And now we have this you coming in and calling us out on words that was saying and things that was saying? I don’t feel like I can perform here anymore. I don’t feel like I we belong I don’t feel like welcome and I don’t feel like I shouldn’t you know continue. Natty Bumpercar 4:10 I well. I just want to point out Rufus that you were never supposed to be on the podcast as you know a personality you are the lawyer and so you’re supposed to be more kind of back of the house like behind the scenes type of stuff. But you do seem to find your way to a microphone almost every time we record and I don’t want to say uninvited because you’re you are more than welcome to pop in and say things from time to time. But you know, I was really Aloysius is the talent. I’m just here to run the show producers over there producing Yeah, I do. And you you just come in, but you listen, you offer a very different way. What am I looking for kind of view on the world and so it’s it’s fun to have you in, but not a toxic work environment. Not a dangerous work environment. Just a podcast studio where something fell off a shelf so we’re okay natty Aloysius J. Pig 5:19 I just went and checked that whatever fell it was it was a bag and it was a bag full of money. I’m claiming it as my bag of money. I know. No. Wow, what a treat the universities have not Natty Bumpercar 5:33 well so know if there’s a bet there was a bag of money like real actual money. Rufus T. Rufus 5:40 You know, I actually I realized now that I did leave a bag of money in here in the studio. Was the bag. Brown now Aloysius J. Pig 5:51 it’s not proud. Rufus T. Rufus 5:52 Of course it wasn’t. I was just testing you to see if you knew what color the bag was is what the bag? I mean, the bag was obviously black bag, correct? Aloysius J. Pig 6:03 Yeah, the bag is not black. I’m not gonna leave like you can keep on guessing either. Natty Bumpercar 6:08 So we do we have like a lost and found is this something that we should put in? Or do we have like, is there a place where we can put up fliers and we can be like last bag found if yours? Come claim it or something like that? Well Rufus T. Rufus 6:22 hold on a second, because I seem to remember that. Maybe it was my antique bag that I left here that was polka dotted many colors on the bag. polka dotted bags. That’s the one isn’t it? Of course. Wow. Aloysius J. Pig 6:38 There’s no polka dots on the back. And you please stop trying to guess. Because we all know now that this is not your bag, and you’re just trying to get the bag because of what’s inside. Rufus T. Rufus 6:48 Do declare, I cannot believe that even my friend. I will always just J pig is turning this place into just a horrible place. Whatever the opposite of a safe place is safe space safe space. Thank you got this. That’s what this is. Natty Bumpercar 7:08 No, no, it’s not. We just don’t want to give away bags of money that were found to people who they don’t belong to. So kind of is a safe space. If you look at it that way, right. Anyway, let’s talk about can we get back into the episode or can we start the episode Producer 7:27 near? If I start the app? Are we going to start it now? We’re going to edit in clip all of this stuff out? Are we going to do the normal and just have all these jibber jabber eating up all of the time? Natty Bumpercar 7:41 Whatever is easiest for you. Honestly, I don’t I don’t want to put more burden or work onto your shoulders producer. Thank you. Aloysius J. Pig 7:48 Speaking of putting a burden on some shoulders this bag is actually pretty heavy. I don’t know how much money is in here. But it’s Wow, it is it is full of Rufus T. Rufus 8:00 dough. Yeah, obviously. I was gonna save dough. But you said it too. So now. I can’t remember what the out the bag looks like. But I do remember distinctly that it was a heavy bag that was very full of money. Maybe is that the? Is that the bag? You found? I think that might be my bag. Aloysius J. Pig 8:22 Seriously. Bumpercar I think we’re gonna have to get security to take him away because he’s being very he’s very focused on getting this bag and it’s not his bag. And we all notice and so I don’t know what to do. Am I gonna be able to make it to the parking lot safe? I don’t know. Natty Bumpercar 8:38 I don’t even know if we we don’t have security is that I don’t remember us ever having security so I can I can help you. I mean, honestly, we’re gonna put the bag into safe place and we’re gonna lock it up. See if anybody says they lost the bag. Try to get it to the rightful owner. And then we can kind of go from there. I think that’s that’s the plan. Okay. Yeah, but Aloysius J. Pig 9:02 did you did you want to look at do you wanna see should we count how much money it is? You want it? Like Should we open it? Yeah, Natty Bumpercar 9:08 I’m, I’m, I’m fine with that. Can we do it after the podcast though? Producer 9:11 Yeah, Natty. I never actually answered my question. If you wanted to start that over at the beginning or for discont I mean, you kind of said whatever is easiest on me, but I just want to kind of little more direction. If you want to start now or start at the beginning. Natty Bumpercar 9:27 I am so sorry. I forgot. Again, I think let’s just roll from here and we’ll finish the podcast out and then we can figure out whatever’s going on with this bag and honestly figure out why things are just falling off the shelves randomly. Maybe Maybe it’s it’s the heat Aloysius J. Pig 9:46 and is sow incredibly hot. I mean, I’m a pig obviously. I was walking out just from from the headquarters over here to the studio. And I smelled bacon and I was just like no What is this? This is a new what is Why does it smell like this? And then I lifted my arm up and smelled it it’s and I was just like well this is stupid it’s too hot we did we move closer to the Sun Producer 10:15 you’re now we were talking about getting the air conditioned in the studio but I don’t obviously hasn’t happened because I’m a frog and I am sweating. Have you ever seen if sweating frog is not a pretty sight? Natty Bumpercar 10:29 i Yeah, it is remarkably hot. We’re in a heat wave. Not really a fan of it. But we are in the middle of summer and we’re this hopefully I guess is going to be the hottest week I read a news report that it was like record breaking temperatures around the world. So it’s cats, you know, kind of kind of terrible. No, Rufus T. Rufus 10:50 I did look into it. And we do not have any hair conditioner but we do have a mixed judge hair shampoo and conditioner. So I mean, I could bring that over if you had out to help you guys this Aloysius J. Pig 11:04 guy even serious you saying hey, air conditioner. We’re not trying to take showers out here, bro. We’re trying to make it nice and cool and comfortable. Rufus T. Rufus 11:14 So wait, now you’re gonna start trying to listen to what I say and correct me. Yeah, this is too much too far too fast. I cannot stand Natty Bumpercar 11:24 well, to be fair, Rufus and I, I know we did have the issue earlier in the episode but you did say hair conditioner and hair shampoo when we were clearly talking about air conditioning. So it’s something we got to call that out. Right? Aloysius J. Pig 11:42 I think I had an idea. It’s we don’t have the money for air conditioning. And it’s so hot, but I did just find his bag of money. Maybe that’s Natty Bumpercar 11:53 for now that we’re not gonna we’re gonna hide it. We’re gonna lock it away. Right that’s so hot Outro 12:09 the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon. NonPro 13:29 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]

July 25, 2022
Bumperpodcast #375 – Bunny

On today’s Bumperpodcast, we have a very special guest. The Easter Bunny hops by to discuss basket regulations and his height. He’s 6’7″ – which is HUGE!!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this special Easter episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar and Aloysious J. Pig receive an unexpected visit from the Easter Bunny himself, who stands six foot seven (with two-foot ears). The six-foot-seven rabbit discusses Easter basket delivery protocols during quarantine, including proper safety measures and social distancing on the bunny trail. Rufus T. Rufus briefly interrupts to discuss contractual loopholes before being dismissed. Natty performs an original parody song called "Peter Cleaning Tail" about practicing safe hygiene during the holiday. The episode wraps with heartfelt advice about self-care, structure, and kindness during challenging times, plus a reminder to leave carrots for the Easter Bunny on his long journey.

Memorable Quotes

“I am the Easter bunny, and I am watching, and I am seeing, and I'm hearing, and what I've seen and what I have heard is that everyone here is very nice to each other.”
— Easter Bunny

“I'm not a basket kind of pig. I don't need baskets all over my house. I'm not going to store stuff in baskets.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“You start small at your house. You take care of yourself and everyone there and then you expand it out and you don't leave your house and so you're not going to spread this thing around.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #easter #holidays #quarantine #socialdistancing #hygiene #self-care #parodysongs #easterbunny

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and this is the bumper podcast your very favorite family friendly silly podcast that happens every so often weekly maybe i don't know time has gotten very strange these days but can i tell you what i'm excited about something that is very time sensitive something that is happening this weekend yes you should absolutely just tell everybody you're doing all this build up and and you should tell them because they're gonna then they don't know what you're talking about they hear you're excited but they ain't know what you're excited about correctamundo pig my friend everybody that's aloysius j pig you may know him you may love him if you don't then you should you should you should because he's pretty swell i'm pretty thank you natty you're in a really good mood today like i've listened to a few in a podcast lately and you seem a little bit dour a little bit down a little bit sour with all of your frowns you're saying i sound good you my friend also sound good um that was a good rhyme looking bit what was it sour looking kind of down looking kind of dour with all your frowns oh go pig go pig i'm going go you stopped i thought you were gonna keep going yeah that's not how i'm no i'm sorry i got confused we need to work on yeah i'm sorry anyway sorry about that hey aloysius um i am in a good mood and it's because of what's happening this weekend we're gonna get a very special visitor this weekend i'm hoping i don't know but do you know that this weekend is easter for everyone in this house maybe you celebrate something different and that's 100 cool you do you but here we have a giant rabbit who hops down a bunny trail hippity hopping and and then you know what he does he drops off baskets and i i know a lot of crazy things happen here at headquarters on the podcast but if we ever had a giant i don't know with the ears i'm gonna guess seven foot rabbit in the building i'm actually i'm actually six six foot six foot seven the ears alone are two feet tall i am a four foot seven the ears, but with the ears, I am six foot seven. Okay. He's a six foot, he's, the Easter bunny is here, everybody. I'm so excited. He's right there, and he's looking at you, so he hears you talking about him. He's also got very large ears. I believe he said they were two feet tall. Exactly. They were two feet tall, and I am the Easter bunny, and it's one little seal, and it's a beautiful spring day out here, and I'm hoping everyone is very healthy and very well. And I'm hoping I never received any kind of a list from you, or a letter, or anything. I'm so sorry we didn't send the Easter bunny a letter this year, but it's because we, you know, we're quarantined, we're at home, and we couldn't go to the post office, and we couldn't mail you a letter, and I'm hoping that this doesn't ruin all of Easter. You see how it works, man? There's loopholes. There's all these rules, and they're going to try to take your holiday away, your Easter basket, just because you didn't follow some rule and send this bunny dude a letter? I never said that. I said that I never received a letter. I didn't say you were not going to get an Easter basket, and listen to me, Mr. Aloysius J. Pig. I am the Easter bunny, and I am watching, and I am seeing, and I'm hearing, and what I've seen and what I have heard is that everyone here is very nice to each other, and I do appreciate that very much, and so we shall see come Sunday morning if there's any kind of basket or anything around your house, eh?

Rufus T. Rufus: Uh, excuse me, I didn't mean to put myself into the fray, but, uh, I am Rufus T. Rufus, and my understanding is that someone was referring to some sort of loopholes, and any time you bring up contractual entities with loopholes and such whatnots and et ceteras I like to be part of the conversation ipso facto where in two fro I can relegate, and of course I can bill for hours, if you understand what I'm saying. Times are tough. Times are real tough around here.

Natty Bumpercar: Uh, thank you, Rufus. I appreciate you. Uh, you did, thanks for coming in, but I think we have this all handled, and I, uh…

Rufus T. Rufus: What in the net is that? A seven foot tall rabbit in the building? What in the world is happening? I've never seen such a crazy thing. I mean, I've seen all sorts of things here at the Bumper Podcast at the headquarters, but I have never seen a seven foot tall, uh, uh, uh, bunny, right, like this one

Natty Bumpercar: right there. Actually, he said he's not… I'm six foot seven. The ears, I'm six foot seven. Yeah, six foot seven. Okay. But the ears, again, if you took the ears off, and then I'm four foot seven, the ears are tall for you. I'm very tall, and I'm just, and I'm very tall.

Rufus T. Rufus: Well, I do declare, uh, if I ain't seen everything, I do believe I've seen almost all of it now. But, uh, Natty, if I'm also correct, you're not gonna be allowing me to bill for this time?

Natty Bumpercar: No, there was nothing to bill for. So go ahead and go. Well, then, I shall, uh, go my

Rufus T. Rufus: separate ways. Thanks. Uh, Mr. Easter Bunny, I do hope to see you, uh, or not see you, but I hope you, I hope you understand. I would appreciate it. I think I understand. Exactly. Exactly. Thank you, sir. Everyone have a wonderful weekend, and, uh, enjoy your spring day. Alright. Thank you

Natty Bumpercar: so much, Rufus. Um, wow. So, Easter Bunny, I'm, again, I'm sorry that we didn't send you a letter, but there was obvious and very serious reasons why we didn't. We didn't, it wasn't safe. Um, I hope that you guys along the bunny trail are practicing all of the, uh, paw washing, and, uh, masks and gloves and everything, because, you know, if you are going to be dropping off baskets all around the world, all around the country, everywhere, I want to make sure that they're safe for everybody that you drop them off with. We're following all the rules, the regulations, of course, and we're going to make, you know, all the baskets are safe, of course, and we, uh, we're wearing gloves, and we're wearing masks and everything. It's wonderful. It's going to be a great Easter. I'm very excited about Easter. It's going to be a big, big, big, big, big time. That's what I'm talking about. Safety first. Uh, you know, my favorite thing about the Easter, it's not the basket, it's not the grass in the basket, because that just really makes a mess. If we could get rid of the, you know, the fake grass in the basket, I'd love that. I really, I don't even need a basket. If you could just give me a pile of stuff, I'm fine with a pile. Because here's the thing with the baskets, is after Easter, I got this basket. I'm not a basket kind of pig. I don't need baskets all over my house. I'm not going to store stuff in baskets. I'm not going to put stuff in baskets. I'm not going to test it. I'm not going to test it. I am not the pig who needs a basket. You're really on point with your rhymes today, pig. I'm very impressed. Thanks, bro. Nothing but time. Nothing but time here, sitting here, working on the rhymes, if you get it. Actually, we can't just leave a pile of stuff that we, Easter basket. It's the Easter rule. We give a basket and then you have your gifts and your chocolates and everything inside of the basket, and it's very it's very nice. All right. Well, that, I mean, that makes sense to me. I mean, if you're going to bend the rules on us not having to send you a letter, then if you have to stick to the rules of having a basket, I'm totally cool with that. And I'll bet it's a lot easier for you to carry everything around the bunny trail to everybody's house if there's a basket involved because you can just hold the handle, zip in, hide the basket, run out. Yep. Yep. Yep. That makes sense. Exactly. It's very difficult to carry the baskets and everything around everywhere, and we have to visit all the children around the world who celebrate Easter, and we give them baskets. If I just had piles and piles and piles, things would get mixed and people would get confused, and no one would know what was going on, and it would just be absolute chaos, and we can't have it. Yep. We cannot have anarchy on Christmas. Christmas? Excuse me. Easter. I got confused. I'm very… A lot on my mind. A lot on my mind right now. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on in the world. Well, listen, Easter Bunny, I know, I don't even, I appreciate you coming by and spending some time with us. It's super awesome and super sweet, and before you leave, I hope you don't mind if I… You don't have to do this, Ned. You don't have to show him. No, I just wanted to please… He doesn't… No, he doesn't need to… Fine, go ahead. Thank you. Yeah, alright, go ahead. So, I wrote this thing, you know, because everyone is so concerned about the cleaning and what I was saying about the bunnies and the… Not the bunnies, the masks and the gloves and everything. Proper protocol. We have to follow it, right? Yep. And so I wrote this thing, it's called Peter Cleaning Tail. Nope, my name is actually Cottontail. Cottontail. I know you're Cottontail, but I was making a little joke. It's very funny. Awesome. So, it's, you know the old Peter Cottontail, like, here comes Peter Cottontail, that one. So, this is Peter Cleaning Tail, so it's kind of a, you know, whatever. But it's, so it's to that tune. So, I wrote this, we'll see how it works out, but here, I'll try to, you know, sing-song it, I guess. Here comes Peter Cleaning Tail. Wearing a mask on the bunny trail. Practicing social distancing the whole way. Bringing every girl and boy baskets full of antibacterial joy. And things to make your Easter clean and safe. Oh, here comes Peter Cleaning Tail. Did he just cough on the bunny trail? How many times did he wash his paws today? Here comes Peter Cleaning Tail, hopping down the bunny trail. Hippity-hoppiting with disinfecting spray. Try to do the things you should. Make sure to sanitize. Extra good and heel roll gloves and toilet paper your way. Oh, wow. Natty, you wrote that? I did, I did. It's cute, huh? Nice. And you've been taking singing lessons? No, I really, I haven't been taking singing lessons. I was just messing with you. I knew you hadn't. Bro, maybe

Rufus T. Rufus: you should have warmed up first.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, thanks. Appreciate that. It was just on the spot. Easter Bunny's here. I didn't know I was going to have to sing today. But listen, everyone, I hope you are safe and well and sound at home. I hope you're taking care of yourselves. I hope that you are practicing social distancing. I hope you're taking, washing your hands and showering and, you know, doing all the things that you need to do to keep yourself together. Make some sort of structure in your life because right now everyone's structure is just so completely out of whack. So, kind of get up in the morning, brush your teeth, maybe make your bed, change out of your pajamas every so often. Not every day. Listen, I'm not asking much here. You know, make sure to take showers. Showers are really nice to get you clean and get you refreshed and get you ready for the day. Eat your meals. Eat good food, healthy food. Don't just eat junk or else you're going to feel kind of terrible. And most of all, be nice to everybody who's in the house with you because they love you. Right? And they want you to be as good as you can be and you want them to be as good as they can be because you're all in this together. And ultimately we're all in this together. Right? So you start small at your house. You take care of yourself and everyone there and then you expand it out and you don't leave your house and so you're not going to spread this thing around and then we'll get to go out and all hang out and high five very soon. I mean air high five. I'm not actually going to high five anyone ever again. Ladies and gentlemen this has been the Bumper Podcast and I want to thank our guest today, the Easter Bunny. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it, of course. Thanks. I forgot, did you like the thing that I wrote? It was very funny. Thanks. It was very wonderful. I want to add in everything you just said that everyone take care of yourself and be wonderful and don't forget maybe leave me a carrot if you can on Sunday because it's a very long trip and I want you to have a wonderful day and I need to keep some carrot in my belly so I can keep it going. Wait, did the Easter Bunny seriously just use the Bumper Podcast to ask people for carrots? Hey, crazy things that happen. Alright, see you later seven foot tall bunny. Again, I'm actually six foot seven. Yeah, four foot. Two foot years. Four foot seven. Alright, everybody. Thank you so much. Have a great time. We'll see you next week. Whoa! I'm Natty Bumper Car.

Unknown: .

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April 10, 2020
Bumperpodcast #331 – Birthday Blues

Socks had a birthday, and so did Natty – and no one in Headquarters seems to have noticed. At least he got to eat a lot of delicious foods…

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this bittersweet episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar shares his disappointing birthday experience on July 11th, which he shares with his beloved rescue dog Irving Brown Socks, who turned 15. Despite trying to make the best of his day with tres leches donuts, Slurpees, and a rainbow foam car wash, Natty finds himself forgotten by his own family—even his son Emerson doesn't remember it's his birthday during a doctor's appointment. The episode takes a touching turn when Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysious J. Pig, and Producer finally track down the dejected host to surprise him with cake and candles. A heartfelt reminder about self-care and the importance of celebrating life's milestones.

Memorable Quotes

“You got to take care of yourself, Bumper Podcast. Because if you don't, you know, maybe other people aren't going to take care of you.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“The most exciting thing was I went through a car wash. And it had like rainbow foam. So, I mean, that was kind of like a party. That was as close to a candle as I got.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Did somebody actually do something for my birthday? I can't understand it's the nicest thing I've ever seen.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #birthdays #family #dogs #self-care #disappointment #rescueanimals #aging

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: i mean you know what this week was right you know how this is an important week how this is a big week how this something cool happened this week right you're looking at me strange do you not know do you do you not have any idea at all because if you don't it's okay i'm i'm not i'm gonna be a little bit hurt i'm not gonna be that hurt i'm gonna be kind of hurt this week um my sweet sweet dog irving brown socks turned 15 years old he's a border collie black lab he was a rescue dog from atlanta georgia we uh we walked past him once and he was outside the pet smart and like they were doing the puppy thing and he wasn't quite a puppy he was like a year old i guess and we looked down and we're like oh look at this puppy let's take him for a walk how fun how cute and he was all springy and excited and like look at me look at me look at me and we're like all right puppy we can't get a puppy we can't get a puppy we can't get a puppy we can't get a puppy now see you later puppy and then we went back the next week and uh we walked past we were i think we were buying something for the cats we had two cats at that time we had spot elliot and peanut lou they were best friends they were from brooklyn they were rescues also but whatever and uh so we were going to pet smart and i uh this this dog he remembered us and i was like oh heartstrings he remembers us that's the sweetest thing ever and and so you know like he immediately he like perked up he was like basically pointing at it he was like you you guys i remember you what's up you guys remember me i remember you look at me look at you i'm looking at me and you're looking at you let's do this and i was like okay so i guess we're gonna try to get a dog and we did and that was a long time ago but his birthday was this wednesday july 11th and how do i know it's his birthday well because it's my birthday too that's right this week was my birthday happy birthday to me right yeah pretty cool right right right and but then something weird happens when you get a little bit older i suppose and and you have a family or whatever um no no one did anything for my birthday and it's miserable and here's why i grew up as an only child so i was the center of the universe and kind of like you know you get your birthday some people are like oh it's just another day what do you care no it's a special day it's your birthday it's the it's the anniversary of the day you were born that's pretty neat you made it another trip around the sun good for you you did it way to go you don't know how many you're gonna get it's a special important day so it you know it's i don't want to complain i'm not complaining i'm just sad i'm sad i'm sad uh but i do appreciate on social media a lot of people said happy birthday and i don't care that they remembered because facebook was like hey it's natty bumper car's birthday that's fine i appreciate that because people who took the time out to write me a note you melt my heart it makes me feel super great um you know i woke up and uh my wife was leaving for work she's like happy birthday and she's gone i was like all right cool thanks and uh and that was it and then i i took the kids to camp and and then i was just like all right i don't want to go to work today i want to i want to have a fun day i want to make a fun day for me and so i did and i went and i got a uh a tres leches donut i've talked about it before montclair bread looking at you you're delicious and i appreciate it thank you now from there you know 7 11 is my birthday and so pig and i love to go to 7 11 and get slurpees but we went at 10 like 35 and the guy was like nope no slurpees until 11 and i was like bro it's my birthday and he was like sorry big shrug and i was like okay so then i i i was like i'll get some other stuff done so i went to home depot and picked up my broken lawnmower good and then i uh and then i went and i got the car washed and then uh in between there i did go get a slurpee and pig ate it the whole thing did not share at all which is fine and uh then i went and got some delicious mexican food and then i um what did i do then i had to go pick emerson up and he had a doctor's appointment and this kind of was but so we're at the doctor we're talking about you know how are things going what's going on blah blah blah and we had been to a big family reunion in new hampshire last week i don't know if i told you about that but it was huge and the drive back almost killed all of us because it was too long and it was nine hours oh why but we're at the doctor and oh and so emerson was around all kinds of family all you know ages all generations and he got kind of freaked out he's like oh no people might die yeah people eventually maybe in theory yes people will but it's going to be okay and then he's like oh and my dog's old socks is old so i was telling all this to the doctor you know oh he's you know he's worried about the dog dying because he's 15 and emerson turns and he looks at me and he goes he's not 15 what are you talking about and i was he's 14 i was like no no no no no no no dude you know today is today is socks his birthday he turned 15 the same way it's it's my birthday today and he was like what today's your birthday and it was so uncomfortable and so awkward that the doctor actually gasped she went like like that and i was just like i don't even want to talk about it it was so depressing like i made this person he has no idea it's my birthday Let's do this. Let's go to the pool. And we did. And it was fun. It was nice. And we were there for like a nice 40 minutes. Perfect. Perfect amount of pool time. Did a couple of flips. Did a couple of dives. Good for me. Got home. And oh, and I forgot. So when I got home from the movie theater, Ollie, Ollie did make me a card, which was very sweet. And then he wrote like, happy birthday, dad. I love you. And then which, that's, so you know what? When I say I didn't get anything for my, that's what I got for my birthday, which is super cool. And super awesome. And he gave me a big hug. So that's wonderful. But, you know, it's, it's depressing. And like nobody on the show did anything. Like, I'm talking about the Bumper Podcast. Oh, my other podcast. They were very nice. They said a lot of things to me. And sent me a lot of weird pictures. And then I got home. And earlier in the day, I had stopped by. There's a pie shop here. Near my house. And I had a little tiny key lime pie. And so I ate the tiny key lime pie. Watched a little TV. And then just kind of hung out on the couch. And that was, that was my big day. Woo! Whose big day is it? I guess it's, I suppose, I guess it's mine. I don't know. I don't know. The most, one of the most exciting things was I went through a car wash. And it had like rainbow foam. It was pretty cool. And it had like LED lights. So, I mean, that was kind of like a party. I mean, that was as close to a candle as I got. So, you know. Anyway. I guess the point of all of this is, is you got to take care of yourself, Bumper Podcast. Because if you don't, you know, maybe other people aren't going to take care of you. So you take care of yourself. Hopefully other people will take care of you too. But if they don't, just be ready. Because you got to be the most important to you. Right? You got to be the most important to you. Right? Right? Right? Right? Right?

Unknown: Right? Right?

Natty Bumpercar: Then chances are you're not going to be as important to anybody else. So take care of yourself. And hopefully other people will help you take care of yourself as well. But if not, then at least you're taking care of yourself. Right? This is a bit of a downer. This is more of a downer than I was anticipating. Kind of bummed. This was the birthday episode I was expecting. Started off with socks. Went through my whole day. I mean, really, it was the most delicious birthday that I've ever had in my entire life. i i'll take it i'll take it i'll take it did he no one sang no one sang there was zero singing at all man you know what i uh i think i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna cut this one a little bit short um a little bit sad so you know i'm gonna go take a little nap i think crawl up under socks has a nice burrow dug under the uh the deck it's shady it's cool the the dirt is nice and packed down i'm gonna maybe throw some hay in there pig has some hay and uh let's take a little break so listen thank you for listening if you reached out thank you if you didn't it's okay don't you worry about it don't you mess up your pretty head i'm good you're good this has been the bumper podcast i will talk to you next week

Rufus T. Rufus: okay come in come in come in come in everybody come in come in come in all right

Aloysious J. Pig: where's bumper car well listen first off i don't know where he is normally he's recording the podcast in this time uh frame it's on the calendar over there but i don't know if i was supposed to be singing that song because i do believe it's on the cup of rotten

Rufus T. Rufus: me talking about that listen mumbles uh i don't know where bumper car is we got this cake we got these candles we got these presents we got this everything but we ain't got no bumper car they don't they don't they don't make no sense whatsoever um huh maybe hey uh producer you

Producer: in the boat yeah i'm right over here uh natty was in the booth a little while ago and he was lamenting his um lack of a birthday um acknowledgement and uh he was talking about his food intake and whatnot and i do not know where he went but he slammed the door on his way wait a minute

Rufus T. Rufus: when did we get a door on the studio that's a new thing i also do not recall there better not

Aloysious J. Pig: be any locks on this door that's gonna go against the regulations it's gonna be breaking the fire cold and whatnot and what i have you and i will have to rectify that situation that's going to be on an hourly scale this is why he goes crazy give my time as i have been okay doing for these situations stop talking stop talking because we

Rufus T. Rufus: gotta find bumper car we gotta sing him a song or else this show's gonna run out and he's it's it's

Natty Bumpercar: gonna be a very sad scene okay oh hey guys what are you doing in here what's what what are you all doing i don't understand what you're doing i don't understand what you're doing i don't understand what are you is that a cake do you have a candle for me did somebody actually do something for my birthday i can't understand it's the nicest thing i've ever seen

Rufus T. Rufus: nobody understands bro you gotta stop crying it's two bananas we're just happy to see you we're happy you're here we're happy you had a big old birthday

Unknown: you

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July 13, 2018
Bumperpodcast #322 – Days Off

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

Natty gets a couple of days off – and decides to try to make the most of it. There is a doughnut involved!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares stories from his eventful days off that turned into work-from-home days. Between work calls, Natty tackled DIY projects including installing a tow hitch on his Tiguan and re-screening his back door, indulged in delicious treats from his favorite donut shop (featuring a tres leches donut), and enjoyed an Indian buffet. The episode takes a poignant turn when Natty recounts the passing of Glassy the Pleco fish and his son's surprisingly casual reaction, leading to humorous reflections on mortality. After all his productivity, Natty ultimately spent his second day off simply watching TV, embracing the importance of rest and not running out of 'you.'

Memorable Quotes

“If you do too much you run out of you and if you run out of you you what have you got then you've got nothing you've got the zip you've got bupkis.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I was like laying on a little my little blanket on the ground trying to do this stuff above my head because it wasn't on like a lift rack so it was way up high.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Buddy, I'm sorry, Glassy didn't make it. Glassy moved on to a different place. And he just shrugged his shoulders.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #diyprojects #food #work-lifebalance #pets #mortality #homeimprovement #self-care #parenting

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: oh hi bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and this is my favorite time of the day and i'm hoping that it at least ranks somewhere among your top 10 favorite parts of your day i'm you know i just want to crack the top 10 i'm not saying this is your favorite part of the day because that's way too much pressure for you and it's so much pressure for me i can't just please please please top 10 that's all i'm asking for but for me number one this is number one right up there at the top boom bumper podcast here i am there you are you're looking very nice today did you know that i was gonna be here you look like did you take a shower good for you i haven't i haven't taken a shower i took a couple of days off of work and um i've been i've had these clothes on now for this is my third day so i do need to change because i am going to the office today uh but here's the thing when sometimes when you like I have a job and I took days off and that was supposed to be exciting but you know what I ended up doing on those days off working that's right working so I in essence actually I just worked from home so days off turn into work from home days which is pretty fun except not so much uh but what I would do so I had a lot of end up having meetings I was trying to get some stuff fixed and so I was on a lot of calls um and actually doing some work myself as well um but what I would do is in between each of these things I was I had this huge list of projects and I was like I'm gonna get so much stuff done in these two days and and I had my list and I had checked it twice to find out which of my projects was naughty and which one of my projects was nice uh none of them were nice they were just annoying projects but I would go through my list and I would try to squeeze in a couple of things here and there so that uh you know I could get something done um the first day the first day started off really good my first day was there's a donut place near my house and it's my favorite donut place in the world on the planet and it's called Montclair Bread Montclair Bakery Montclair I think it's Montclair Bread and they have oh the donuts are so good I think I've talked about them before but I haven't talked about them I had a tres leches donut what does that mean three leches what does that mean three milks how does that work I don't know I know one is whipped cream so that's milk and then there's kind of like this sweetened condensed milk like bit to it so that's two milks the third milk I don't know I it's in there I mean it's not it's not dos leches cake no it's tres tres leches it's tres leches cake and you're gonna eat it and you're gonna love it and it's got it's got a cherry on top and it's just donut oh it's so good so that's how my day started right that was actually before I knew that I was gonna have to work for the day so and then after that I don't really remember what I did because I think I had so much sugar in my system that I passed out no I went to the tool store and I got some tool stuff so that I could do my tool project and then I came home and I did my first project my first was I put a a tow hitch it's called a tow hitch on the back of my Tiguan my little car and so I had to actually I watched the YouTube video like a hundred times for this because I was getting very much more nervous every single time I had to take a utility knife and cut into the bottom of my bumper there was a pre scored square rectangle there that like from the manufacturer from Volkswagen so I had to take a utility knife and cut into the bottom of my bumper there was a pre scored square rectangle there that like from the manufacturer from Volkswagen but i had to actually cut through it it was so scary i was afraid i was like i'm ruining my car i'm cutting into my car i'm destroying my poor car but i got that off and then i put the the tow hitch in and there were four bolts and i was like laying on a little my little blanket on the ground trying to do this stuff above my head because it wasn't on like a uh like in the video they're like they had the car in a lift rack so it was way up high so that it was easier for them to do these things but me uh i i didn't get i didn't get that i was on the ground so that's fine i got it done got it all in there and um i was very excited it's very cool it actually looks nice and it looks right and it looks like it's like i didn't do it then i found out i had to do some work so i got on a call after that call i what did i do oh i did i went to uh i went on my second project and my second project was i had to re-screen the back door my back storm door and so that was pretty cool because like i had to watch another video and learn how to do more like doodad thing and um there's like this thing called a spline which is like a cord that goes around this little channel on the screen door she had to pull the spline out and then pull the old um screen out and then clean it all up really nice and put the new screen on and then uh get it cut into the corners and put the new spline in with a spline roller it's called i had to do all this stuff and uh my mother-in-law she was like why not just take that screen to the screen place and have them re-screen it and i was like because i'm learning a cool new skill and instead of it being you know like a 50 project for them to do it or maybe more i don't know it's and now it's a 15 project so i feel like i won in that one at least and then i had i'm trying to think what else i had um i did some other projects i don't know i oh oh oh oh after i did the second project i went and i had i went to an indian buffet and it was so good and i ate so much food so part of my day off was like i'm gonna eat some good food so i had my donut and then i had indian buffet indian buffet, all you can eat it was ten dollars and fifty bucks it's 20 bucks only, 10 dollars and 15 cents $10.50, $10.47 if I'm to be exact, and you know I am. I had two plates of food. And so what I did, the first plate, I went around and I had little tastes of everything. Little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, right? Oh God, it was so good. And my mouth was actually watering from it. And they gave me a little basket of naan, which is this kind of bread. And then on my second plate back, what you do is like, you're like, all right, I sampled everything. Now I'm going all in on the things that I really like. But there was some chicken, well, there's some tikka masala, which I put on some biryani rice. And then I had some tandoori chicken. Oh, it was so much chicken goodness. And then some, what else was it? I don't know, man. There was so much, there was just a lot of food. Let me just be clear with you that a lot of food was eaten. And then I went back and I had like this tiny little bowl of this rice stuff that was vanilla-y and yummy and just amazing. And then I came home and then I did another project. My brain is not telling me what that other project was, so it must not have been that important. And then I got everything kind of, the house kind of cleaned, did a little bit more work. And then that night, after I got everything good, I went and I saw the Avengers movie, which was a big movie, a big crazy movie, a big what, what in the what, what, what, what, what, what, what in the what movie. So that was my night. And then I came home that night, and guys, it was a little bit sad. Glassy, our Pleco, our Fish, the fish who keeps everything clean, he moved on to another fish world. He said, I can't take this anymore. I'm not gonna be in here with these snails and this shrimp. And then he died. And the sad thing is, is I feel like I might be responsible, because he was a big hardy fish he was like i was like this fish is good look at this fish i think that the snails might have eaten whatever he used to be eaten is my is my thinking so and which makes me feel like a horrible fish parent um but we you know what you move on you move on you move on and so when i had to get him out of the tank at the little fish net and everything and it was like 12 30 at night and so it was late i was kind of tired and uh one of the kids has this little robot dog this little very frustrating robot dog and i guess he was on the kitchen table which is where the fish tank is and my motion of getting the fish out was enough that uh and it's you know it's quiet in the house because it's so late i'm focused on getting the fish out i don't want to disturb any of the other fish and i'm i'm contemplating uh death because of the fish and then this is this robot dog just goes and i like flung the fish the fish just ah i threw everything because i didn't i thought i was being attacked by an adorable robot dog uh thankfully though i was not being attacked so but it took the kids uh two days two days to figure out that the biggest most giant fish uh was no longer in the tank and by the kids i mean only one of them he was going around he was doing like an inventory he was like oh there's snail there's that fish the shrimp is the shrimp gone I was like no the shrimp is right here he's not moving it's like no his little his little antenna are moving he's fine okay there's another fit wait dad where's that other fit where's the where's where's glassy and I had to break it down I was like buddy buddy buddy buddy I'm sorry glassy didn't glassy didn't make it you know glassy moved on to a different place glassy's no longer with us and he I was that I kind of I was just like does that make you sad does he was just like man he shrugged his shoulders so all right you know our dog is 15 at this point at some point he's probably gonna go to a farm or dog college or wherever dogs go and I'm wondering if it's gonna be a similar reaction and then I'm wondering if it's gonna be a similar reaction and then I'm wondering after that at some point in life I might die I don't know I hope not but as I from my understanding it it's it's it's an inevitability and is it gonna be the same reaction oh where's dad he's I see Ollie is he mommy I see the snails I see the oh he's did he die and shrug his shoulders yeah oh it's not a natural reaction it's a weird reaction anyway ah what are you gonna do so then you know reaction anyway ah what are you gonna do so then you know gonna do so then you know really hot here yesterday it was it was tanVI tanVI 92 degrees which is warm for it's spring we kind of skipped spring went straight to summer and i uh i got the list out and i started looking at it and i was just like i uh i think today i'm going to uh watch tv and that's what i did i just watched i watched tv from the beginning of the day until the end of the day i got nothing done but i felt fine about it i felt great about it and and because you know what i do too much and if you do too much you run out of you and if you run out of you you what have you got then you've got nothing you've got the zip you've got you've got but but bupkis what's bupkis what's a bupkis i don't know but i know what you are you're the bumper podcast kateers and i know what i am i am natty bumper car and i know what this is this is a bumper podcast and again this is my favorite time of the day i hope it's your favorite time of the day you go and make all that magic happen why don't you make

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May 4, 2018