Tag: Santa Claus

  • Bumperpodcast #424 – Season 3 – How Are You

    Bumperpodcast #424 – Season 3 – How Are You


    “How are you?” is an episode from the hilarious and unpredictable improvised comedy podcast, Bumperpodcast, set in the quirky town of Coffee-Can Alley. This episode features the lovable and zany main character, Natty Bumpercar, as he navigates through his day-to-day life and all its absurdities.

    In this episode, Natty runs into a series of unlikely and humorous encounters as he attempts to answer the titular question, “How are you?” From interacting with eccentric town residents to getting into wacky situations, Natty’s unique perspective and quick wit never fail to bring laughter to the listener. The Bumperpodcast is a non-scripted and unplanned show, meaning each episode is fresh and full of unexpected twists and turns that will keep you entertained from start to finish.

    The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    Where to find us:

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    We have started adding the podcast to Youtube with ridiculous background videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzha2MH5Rf6T89JtRPNqbC0UOxRXxyU0v. Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Older Stuff:

    Another story about saving baby animals!

    A feel good story!

    Previous episode!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe


    [av_toggle_container faq_markup=’faq_markup’ initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” size-toggle=” av-desktop-font-size-toggle=” av-medium-font-size-toggle=” av-small-font-size-toggle=” av-mini-font-size-toggle=” size-content=” av-desktop-font-size-content=” av-medium-font-size-content=” av-small-font-size-content=” av-mini-font-size-content=” heading_tag=” heading_class=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-ldoxyvc4′ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”]
    [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-ldoxymij’ sc_version=’1.0′]
    Natty Bumpercar 0:04
    I actually had to come out to the studio today and defrost the microphone. And and the board because it’s so it’s cold. It’s so chilly out here. It’s 55 degrees currently in the studio, which is kind of insane to me, but fine. This is the bumper podcast. I am Natty Bumpercar It is wonderful to talk to you today. How are you? I’ve missed you so much. No, no, really, I have I, sometimes people say how are you? And they don’t actually want you to answer because it’s like a formality. Right? It’s like, oh, how are you doing? And then you have to make the mental societal calculation of, do I actually tell them how I’m doing? Do they really want to know how I’m doing? Or do I just go? Ah, I’m fine. Things are good. Like, right. But then sometimes they’ll press a little bit. They’ll go, ah, how’s the family? How’s the Giles’s of wife? And it’s like, oh, you’re opening the door, you’re really opening the door to do I’m gonna start talking, I’m gonna give you information. And then you’re gonna, you know, wish you hadn’t, you know, because a lot of times the how’s it going? Is pretty surface. Because the people that you’re saying, how’s it going to? That generally implies to me at least that you haven’t, you know, talked to them in a little while, and maybe you’re not up on the day to day. And so, you know, the people who do know how it’s actually going, they probably know for, you know, for the most part, so they don’t have to say how’s it going? Because they just know. So then the people who come up to you and say, How’s it going? They aren’t up on the news, right? They know they don’t get your they don’t subscribe to your newsletter. Right? They don’t read your, your, your blog, their your RSS feed, they’re not watching your tic TOCs. They don’t know how it’s going. And so when you’re like, Well, who actually there’s a lot going on, then you can see like their, their the skin on their face kind of tighten up a little bit. And they go Oh, no, what have I gotten myself into? Ah, all right, and then they try to what? Okay, there’s you Well, that’s great. See, I’m gonna No, no, no, no. Oh, friend. You just asked me how it was going. And I am going to do you have 45 minutes? Because I’d like to tell you how it’s going. I’d like to tell you every single bit of how it is going. And so that’s why it’s a very not transitional but just it’s a very transitory I don’t know what the word I’m going for. But it’s it’s not a real question. It’s not, you know, like, Hey, bud. Let’s hang out. Let’s sit down right now and hash this out. Let’s have a cup of hot liquid. Whatever. I don’t know what hot liquid you drink. I don’t like coffee. I should you know, we should let you know that. I don’t like coffee. I think coffee is yucky. I do like tea. Big fan of tea. Right? Not fruit fruity kind of teas. kind of freaked me out a little bit. But like black tea, like an earl grey, which is a black tea, but it’s gray. I don’t know. English breakfast. Now that’s a tea I can get behind. That’s a solid tea. Right? What other hot drinks cider? Oh, man, I will drink a cider. Like all day long. I will drink a cider. I will. I will take some cinnamon and I’ll put it in my cider. Yeah, that’s gonna make my day better. I’m just gonna tell you right now. A Chai now. That’s a tea though. So I don’t know if it really counts. What other kind of hot beverages are there? I don’t know. Do you consider like broth to be a hot beverage? Like a miso soup that you know maybe just has a couple of little scallions in there. Feels kind of soupy I don’t know. There’s like what kind of what kind of tea do you like? Oh, I’ll take the chicken tea today please. warms me up. fills me up makes me feel good about everything out there. Oh, sorry. We don’t have any chicken tea. But we do have these dried up leaves that you can put in hot water and then it’ll turn your water Brown. Oh, wow. That sounds delicious. My my youngest kid. He’s I don’t know how old he is. 710 43 I don’t know, but he’s adorable. And he said, I drink a lot of tea. And he recently, he was like, you know, I’m gonna, I’m gonna try some of that tea and I said, Oh, are you and I let them have a little sip of my tea, you know, not wanting to get the child caffeinated. Because he doesn’t need the energy for him. To be honest, I need I need all of the energy. I am a robot whose battery is always low. And so I need the energy. And but I let him have a little sip just to see if he liked it. And he did. And so I went out and I bought him a little box of decaffeinated tea. And now that I’m saying that I kind of wonder if there’s any caffeine in that because though, even though it says decaffeinated, I wonder if it’s just that means has less caffeine, or if it means there’s none, I don’t know, but I should. Now I’m thinking I should find that out. And he loves the whole process of making tea. And I think I like part of that too. Where are you, you have your your water the kettle, it’s on the fire and it’s it’s boiling, and it’s whistling while that whole thing is happening. You you go and you get your mug or whatever, you know, kind of thing. You’re putting your your your hot tea into, you put the tea bag and you’ve we we’ve discovered because I used to put sugar in my tea because I like a little sweet D because I’m from the south. That’s what we drink. But now I’ve discovered something called monk fruit, which is I don’t know what it is. I know nothing about it. I just know, I was in the store. And someone said, Would you like to try these strawberries? They’ve got a little monkfruit on them. And I was like, yeah, oh, sure. And this wasn’t even like someone who worked in the store. This was just like a random person. I think they pulled it out of their pocket. If I’m gonna be honest, I wasn’t like at a station. It wasn’t branded. It was just, yeah, wow. I don’t know, maybe. Maybe monkfruit is doing some guerilla marketing. Now they’re just going into stores, berries in their pocket, and trying to turn to turn the masses, or something like that real grass roots is what they’re doing. So no, I, I tried it. And it was it was I was like, Well, this is this tastes fine. This tastes yummy. This is good. And so then it took me two months for that thought to work its way through my brain and get to the point where I was like, I wonder if this monkfruit will be good and my tea. And then it took another month and a half for me to then go fight like be at the store. And remember that that was something that I was curious about. So it’s it’s a six month process at most. So any, any thought that comes into my brain anything that I’m like, you know, that’s a good idea. It doesn’t just then happen. It has to sit on the shelf for a little while, you know, like, actually what we do is we, we cook it with and then we put it in a mason jar and then we put it on the shelf and then you let it rest there and then we open it in. Oh, and it’s delicious. And then we put it back in the fridge. I mean, it’s a whole process is what I’m saying. And so I finally it happened though, I got it. And it’s delicious. It doesn’t in Thai it doesn’t 1,000% tastes like sugar. But I would say it’s a good 80% And it doesn’t taste like the I don’t like unnatural sweeteners, like the pink packet or the blue packet or the yellow packet. Those all kind of just leave a bad taste in my mouth don’t like diet sodas, either for the same reason. I just don’t think Yeah. But this stuff

    so far, so Okay, so, you know, keep drinking it, drinking it, no putting it in my tea and then drinking it. That’s what I’ll do. So the child he loves the process of we put the teabag into the mug while the water is boiling. I’ve started putting this monk fruit and it was tea and he doesn’t seem to notice which is nice. And then you know, you put the water in and he he enjoys watching it steep. And I would like to know the etymology of the word steep because it’s your, you know, just putting the teabag into the hot water and releasing the deliciousness from the leaves that have been dried. And I don’t know what steeping is. Hmm. But, you know, initially we were trying to teach him like alright, so you have a tea bag And then you put it in the water. And and you know, it has to sit in there for a certain amount of time the water should be a certain temperature, it should sit in the water for a certain amount of time and we’re not that scientific about it, if I’m to be honest, but you can look at it and you can see like, okay, that that water looks plenty dark to me. Like, I feel like it’s got enough tea flavor. And then also try to explain to them that if you leave the teabag in there for too long, if you forget it in there, it might turn bitter on you. You don’t want that No, no, no bitter, no bitter. Nope, no, buddy, no bitter. So you know, he’s caught. He’s like, has it steeped enough as it steeped in it, and I’m like, I think it is steeped enough. And so then he takes it out. And then what we do is we leave like an inch at the top of his mug. And we put some ice cubes in there just to cool it down. You know, I don’t want to burn them. I want them to enjoy his tea. And so then we have I have a tea buddy. Like we go to we go to the restaurant, and we get breakfast. And he’s like, she’s like, and what what will you have little man some chocolate milk. And he’s like, actually, I’d like some tea. decaffeinated, please. And I’m like, Oh, you’re so fancy. Look at you a little fancy man. And the waitress is always, you know, they’re always really amused by it, that he’s being so fancy. And he. And the last time we went, she was like, and would you like some cream? Or should he was like, no, no, no half and half for me. He knows what half and half is. I don’t even know what half and half is. I just know it’s kind of milky stuff. And it’s all a it comes in a little bowl type situation. And it’s put on the table. And then you put it in coffee and stuff. And it makes it look neat and cloudy and everything. I don’t really know if it if it changes anything, but you know, so she was asking him this. And so we go to the same diner every so often. And it was great because we went there just he and I the other day. And we’re at the table. It’s the same waitress that we normally get. And she comes up and she has all these, you know, big smiles and oh, how are you? When you look at you guys and we’re like, hey, and then she looks she goes. So how’s it going? And my younger son has picked up on this social cue, and he said, I’m not sure you really want to know how much time do you have

    Outro 12:42
    the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    Transcribed by https://otter.ai
    [/av_toggle]
    [/av_toggle_container]

  • Bumperpodcast #407 – Season 2 – Mystery

    Bumperpodcast #407 – Season 2 – Mystery


    Natty is thrilled to be in the studio — and is even more thrilled when a couple of his old pals show up!

    The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar.

    And – and – and — Natty Bumpercar is now an Ambassador for the Improv channel on Vurbl!! Here is a link to that page: https://vurbl.com/browse/comedy/improv/ go hang out — it’ll be fun!!

    Another story about saving baby animals!

    A feel good story!

    Previous episode!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe


    [av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-9q1l2j’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”]
    [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-6vzgjv’ sc_version=’1.0′]
    Natty Bumpercar 0:03
    Well, well. Well, well, well, if it isn’t the bumper broadcast. There’s sirens outside. They’re coming to get me. For what? For not recording a podcast the last couple of weeks I’ve been busy. The holiday season, it’s holiday season it cetera, et cetera.

    Rufus T. Rufus 0:28
    Is that just gonna? Are you just gonna? You seem like you’re in good spirits, Natalie, but well, you know, what is holiday season? Sorry. It’s already Yeah, I

    Natty Bumpercar 0:41
    understand. No, Rufus. It’s I’m just happy to be here. And I’m thrilled. And I’m in the bumper barn. And you know what, we’ve made a lot of progress. I would say that we are about six 70% Done with the insulation, which means I can be in here. Well, it’s really I can be in here because it’s like 62 degrees, which in December is weird and scary. And but we’re just gonna roll with it and try to make lemons out of lemonade. Well, that’s not something we can do. Is that so? Is it. A big Do we have a recipe to turn lemons into lemonade? Lemonade? Lemonade in the lemon?

    Producer 1:24
    No, I don’t I don’t we she’s not here yet for these shots, right? But I don’t know if you need recipe bursting here in the lab where we make the bumper pad case. Okay, here and get quieter. Yep, sorry. I’m not really entirely sure if we have those.

    Natty Bumpercar 1:40
    You know what, you’re probably right. I usually they’re probably in the kitchen or maybe in the library, but it makes sense that they are not here in the studio because we don’t cook here. So why would we need

    Peanut Lou 1:52
    to hire me Pina loo? I haven’t been on the podcast. Yo. Yeah, I forgot what I’m supposed to do here. Anybody please tell me what I’m supposed to do on the

    Natty Bumpercar 2:05
    piano below. knows what’s going on kitty cat man

    Spot Elliot 2:16
    is going on. It’s me.

    Natty Bumpercar 2:22
    Yeah, what’s going on? For anyone who doesn’t know because they have not been on the show in a long time. Spot Elliot and peanut Lou. Were cats that I rescued a long time ago and they’re best friends. And they’re so sweet. And I love them to pieces.

    Peanut Lou 2:39
    So so so so so buttons we I keep wanting to find who I see you.

    Rufus T. Rufus 2:49
    You know it? I love talking to new people who has it? Who is it? I’m so excited. Why are you why are you so you’re very amped on this episode. Now there were two almost three minutes in it if your energy is F is too much if I’m to be honest, let’s Can we just tamp it down a little bit fine.

    Producer 3:06
    I was going to say something but you know cuz I’m producing the whole show. So my name is on the credit in so yeah, this it really impacts me if you are acting the little looky loo and you’re going out and people are like our producers on that chair. I don’t know if I want to hire him. And I’m like, oh, please hire me because just don’t ignore the horse. If you could just focus on the engineering but the producing

    Unknown Speaker 3:32
    anyway, so he special guest Okay, hold on. Here we go.

    Santa 3:37
    Well, Lou, it’s wonderful to see. I’m so happy to be here on this. DREW. Is everyone been nice to show I’ve been a bit naughty.

    Rufus T. Rufus 3:51
    I’d like to know you’re saying I don’t like you. And it’s nice to be here. Obviously everyone loves it when Santa Claus comes into town. However, you can’t just come in and immediately start asking people if they have been naughty or they have been nice it’s it’s they have the rights you understand as citizens of the United States of America. And so for you to start implying and infer and that maybe they haven’t been on the ice is a little bit too much

    Santa 4:21
    Now Rufus ervice it’s wonderful for you to be here. First and foremost, I have a couple of issues or a couple of bones to pick with you if you if you don’t mind. I have been keeping my eye on everyone but you in particular have have certainly caught my eye over the course of a year. What

    Natty Bumpercar 4:44
    did you do? What did you do? What did you do? Why are you sad? Oh, you’re in trouble. Oh,

    Rufus T. Rufus 4:53
    no, I will not have the spotlight of injustice turned upon me. As the light is so bright that when you shine it upon me, you will see that I have done nothing incorrect. Nothing, introspect, nothing that you would ever reject. I say to you that I’ve been wonderful this year, everybody knows that you can look at my Yelp reviews, up to a 3.5 star rating. That’s three and a half out of five. So I feel like this year I’ve really turned things around.

    Santa 5:31
    Of course, you’ve turned things around reviews, but it’s not all about the star ratings and star reviews you understand. It’s about did you help anyone? Were you kind to anyone? Did you give of yourself? Did you did you go out of your way to try to make someone feel better? Did you notice that someone was down and think to yourself, I couldn’t pick them up? I can help them out. Right? Did you do any of these?

    Producer 6:02
    I didn’t know that this one time that I was in the hallway. And I was working on some wiring systems and Rufus was trying to get through and he did he picked me Oh, okay, so he picked you up. So that’s what you’re talking about? Yes. But then he just moved me to design I don’t know if he’s the type of peeking you’re talking about you actually physically oh boy picked up and kind of he was really tossed to me didn’t really display down he could have just very busy lifted me and then we’re talking about

    Santa 6:40
    No No, obviously this is not the type of pick me up that we’re talking about when talking about emotionally picking people up when they’re down in despair when they’re in the dumps when they’re sad. This however, this feels like borderline assault if I’m to be completely honest, Rufus. For the moment I feel like you’re not on the nice list. You’re not on any list at all. You’re kind of in between lists if you will. I know most people don’t even realize that but I do have those the naughty list and there’s a nice list but there’s also kind of this in between list that will that we’re gonna sit you upon right now you’re on. You’re on the fence as it were.

    Unknown Speaker 7:24
    So I’m noticing something kind of strange. Yeah, I’m dying Santa Claus. Santa Wilbur like Well, first

    Natty Bumpercar 7:31
    off, I noticed that too. Peanut Lou and I it’s kind of strange. Because every time Santa comes in the room, Rufus leaves the room and every time Rufus is in the rooms, waiting, every time Sam is in the room, Rufus leaves the room and every time Rufus is in the room, Santa leaves. Yeah, you guys aren’t ever in the room at the same time right now. No roof is it’s just you what’s going

    Rufus T. Rufus 7:55
    on? You’re being a bit conspiratorial, and there’s nothing to see. I think you know, Sam is obviously a very busy man. I’m a very busy man myself. We’re in the time of year right now. People need lawyers more than they need. I don’t know fishing the sea or whatever that the phrase is. People need lawyers more than they need a honey bee now that just rhymed. It didn’t make any more sense. I did it people need lawyers more than wool socks. I use the phrase good No, you’re usually better off usually I am. But yeah, no, I’m not.

    Natty Bumpercar 8:34
    Are you a little You seem like you’re a little bit flustered. Maybe a little bit freaked out is that is what’s going on.

    Santa 8:41
    Now. Rufus has had to leave the room as he had a lot of things. He had other engagements to take care of. But now I sent him here to talk to everybody. Now, Rufus, I feel like again, you’re on the fence, but I know that you can probably pull it all together. I believe in you and you should also believe in yourself.

    Aloysius J. Pig 9:03
    Hi, everybody. It’s me Aloysius. JPEGs really weird energy in the room right now. I Santa’s I guess is here. Wow. Spawn le and Vina Lu What’s up kids? You guy What are you doing? Are you bad seniors so long. We’re

    Spot Elliot 9:21
    just hanging out here. So I used to do I do talk he does sing now what’s right and you give me honest, your voice seems to be a lot deeper.

    Peanut Lou 9:32
    Yes. He’s got some sort of a Trojan going on how it’s happening. Really? Yeah, he’s your wife. Oh, I do a lot deeper. Yeah, you’re right.

    Aloysius J. Pig 9:42
    But you sound just like you normally did so I but it’s anyway, it’s splendid to see you guys with an agenda room. Has anybody seen real fast?

    Natty Bumpercar 9:50

    No, but it’s weird because every time Rufus talks san is not here, and every time Santa talks, Rufus isn’t here. I think there’s something strange going on with your hours

    Producer 9:59
    so far. Just To say that it totes banoo because you say that this whole situation is taught.

    Natty Bumpercar 10:04
    Not only what I say it’s totes banoo, but I would say it’s a total mystery

    Outro 10:20
    the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs in hearts See you soon.

    NonPro 11:39
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
    [/av_toggle]

    [/av_toggle_container]

  • Bumperpodcast #365 – Holiday Season

    Bumperpodcast #365 – Holiday Season

    Yay! The boys are back in town, and they are excited to talk – and sometimes scream – about the holidays!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this special holiday episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is joined by two young guests, Emerson and Oliver, for a delightful conversation about Christmas traditions. The trio discusses their family's Elf on the Shelf named "Elfie the Abominable Snow Monster," debates whether Christmas trees grow pine cones, and shares their holiday wish lists. Emerson reveals a preference for LEGOs while Oliver humorously asks for a kitty cat (despite allergies). Rufus T. Rufus makes a brief chaotic appearance when someone mentions "loop." The conversation meanders through topics like chimney cleaning costs, school delays due to ice, and the proper way to say holiday greetings, creating a charming and authentic glimpse into a family's Christmas preparations.

    Memorable Quotes

    “A baby sister? NO!”

    — Oliver

    “You can't touch him because he's… the magic is gone and then you no longer have an elf.”

    — Emerson

    “Did you know the plural form of lego is lego? You don't have to put an s on it. Just lego. It's like if you see one sheep, five sheep.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #christmas #elfontheshelf #holidaytraditions #family #legos #gifts #santaclaus #kids

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: well well well boys and girls ladies and gentlemen it's me natty bumper car and this is the bumper podcast but i can't do this episode by myself because it's a very special episode where i have my very special friends who i helped create in the headquarters studio with me let's introduce them hello there what is your name emerson your name is emerson that's fun what is your name oliver your name is oliver what are you guys here for do you think for the podcast well yes yes you are here for the podcast but what do you think we're gonna that's right it's a christmas podcast it's a christmas miracle and we're talking about our elfer stuff and our yeah you think okay so let's see we'll start off with the christmas stuff because that's what we were talking about for what emerson what's your favorite thing about christmas spending spending getting present oh that's a good answer i'm gonna look over this way um oliver same question what is your favorite thing about christmas like you got talking to the microphone can you say that again family and hanging up my stocking you like hanging up your stuff we haven't done that yet have we have do we even have a christmas tree yes do we we name our christmas no wait what i thought everybody named their christmas tree no it's not i'll say hi piney it's a pine tree yeah i get it hi uh i think i get it um what are they what it's called oh pine cone hi coney like pine cones i don't think i grow them they don't grow pine cones oh christmas trees don't grow pine cones nope man this and so we have

    Unknown: our elf so wait what's our elf's name elfi the snow monster elfi the snow monster elfi the

    Natty Bumpercar: abominable wait really and you've now we've had him for 10 years he's been around with us his name just changed elfi the abominable yes that's what you named him i didn't name him you did yeah okay how does the elf work what's the deal with that um so we good in our last day wow and does he come every day no oh no what happens oh no oh no oh no and then what happened he didn't come so do you think he goes back to the north pole and talks to santa claus and he's probably heading what no he's no i don't think our elf goes to the sewers it's not town hall town hall that's similar to the

    Unknown: sewer maybe maybe he goes maybe he goes back to the sewers

    Natty Bumpercar: to the pole yeah i think he goes to the north pole and like to the elf spa and gets like an elf pedicure and manic and like relaxes let's not do that with the trash can um so he brings you guys little presents every day which is very very nice oh you got when did you get that today oh that's cute uh cardinal is a bird oh um and so that's fun so christmas elf and our elf is currently so wait does he is he on the christmas tree every day where does he usually go like a yeah it's hard to keep up with this elf he moves around a lot um and so what else do we oh he got a little cough has he really i wonder what's drawing him no oh you i can't touch him because he's what happens to the elf he's gone magic the magic is gone and then you no longer have an elf you never longer have uh elfie the snowman what do you guys oh sorry elfie the abominable snow monster can't jinx me we're doing a podcast i had to think about it for a second and i'm like oh my god i'm a second but i'm not allowed to talk if you jinx me and this is a pod it's an audio medium yep that means talking talking yeah no one's gonna no one's gonna listen to a podcast if everyone's jinxed and not talking it sounds terrible it sounds better uh emerson what do you want for no i guess you don't uh but do you have stuff in mind for legos oh but now you are telling did you know the plural form of lego is so you don't have to put an s on it no just just lego it's like uh if you see uh one c five yeah so lego is singular and plural it's the same lego logo if you see one logo it's a logo see a lot of logos plural no it's l-o-g-o-s um ollie what do you think you want for a baby sister no oh my goodness that was a big yell uh a kitty cat a family he's allergic oh that's true wow i want i only want eight stuff oh did you really so i guess i wow i think we all win in the end now do you guys feel like have you been good enough this year for yes okay and do you have uh is the chimney been cleaned out nope i think it did get clean we had some gentlemen come out and uh clean our chimney so maybe that'll that's what the new pipe is oh yeah that's the the chimney pipe yeah we got a new pipe for santa claus it's crazy wrong it cost way too um yeah to fix all this stuff that's broken around here whoa a hundred dollars he wants a stack of cash wow that's just stacks on cash and what is it uh we're making money the pyramid mummy oh i got hit in the face that's not nice uh why are we still home guys why is there a delayed opening all the time but there's no snow ice ice ice baby baby ice ice ice baby uh so um yeah there's a lot there but not enough to delay the school opening uh and so we're we're doing this to occupy our time a little bit right yes and uh they are not a sponsor of this podcast so yeah we could just we could just say we're going right and actually i think they changed their name i think that their name is now duncan i don't know if it still has donuts yeah because yeah i don't know i thought i read um so what else is exciting for about the holiday it's the holiday songs and the loop what

    Unknown: did somebody say loop over here

    Rufus T. Rufus: rufus d rufus that is my name and i heard someone say i'm not gonna have to steal anything that i already own child this is my podcast this is my house and you are my children no and you also cannot yell into the microphone and it did because that's gonna cause legal issues where it was eardrums explode and i had to pay for it can't afford to do these disney fucking people this is excellent oh god this is awkward it looks had to arms to God I just hope he gets the best night out of me this morning I have to go to the martiness stage ouu ok が o ov that's

    Natty Bumpercar: so hey no no he didn't did you say loopy loop oh i think i might have been singing a song and i think it might have come um so wait emerson i'm curious that's interesting so you don't say happy holidays what do you say oh merry holidays and you said merry christmas so do you know something really oh well it's merry christmas but i i usually just say i go happy holidays because there's a lot of different holidays that are happening around this and so i want to make sure everybody feels there's uh it's christmas wanza there's hanukkah it is uh a holiday i don't really i don't know a lot about it but well here's a good thing i think i'm going to uh do some research and come back and tell you guys about all the holidays the next time there's also tuesday that's a good holiday

    Unknown: yeah isn't it a holiday taco tuesday christmas oh is that day and christmas eve is on that's true

    Natty Bumpercar: and what happens on christmas eve yeah it goes away right i know i know what's going on well guys thank you so much that's true thank you so much for being on this show did you have fun today uh are you guys hungry let's go get some food in your belly but listen just throw the food in your belly i'm not gonna do that no way um all right bumper god bumper podcast this is natty bumper car with my little pals emerson and oliver and you guys are amazing

    Unknown: you you

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #339 – Santa Claus?!

    Bumperpodcast #339 – Santa Claus?!

    Holy cow! Holy cow! Holy cow!! We have a tremendously awesome guest on the show today. It’s – Santa Claus!!! Hooray!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #311 – A story about Santa…

    Bumperpodcast #311 – A story about Santa…

    Sorry that I’ve been gone. I’ve missed you.

    I hope this story about Santa makes up for it. (I cry a bit towards the end…)

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    Send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

     

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    In this heartfelt holiday episode, Natty Bumpercar shares a deeply personal story about his seven-year tradition of playing Santa Claus at his children's daycare. After apologizing for his absence following the big Thanksgiving episode, Natty opens up about the emotional final year of this beloved tradition, as his youngest son Oliver prepares to move on to kindergarten. He describes the elaborate lengths he goes to maintain the magic, including shaving his beard and adopting a special voice to avoid detection by his own children. The episode takes an emotional turn as Natty reflects on watching the kids grow up and the bittersweet nature of keeping childhood wonder alive, culminating in a touching moment when Oliver almost recognizes his father behind the Santa suit.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It's my favorite day of the year by far, by far my favorite day because I get nerves, I get kind of terrified just because every year when they get older, I'm just like, all right, I got to really amp up the show.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You have kids and you're watching them grow up and they're getting older and it's just like, ah. Where's my little baby? Oh, and I'm crying. I'm full of crying.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Oliver goes, oh, dad, Santa sounded a little bit like you. And I was like, no.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #santaclaus #parenting #christmas #childhoodmagic #familytraditions #growingup #holidays

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car did you forget my name did you forget who i am did you forget about me i got so exhausted after the big turkey episode that i just kind of crawled into my hole and i put a little blanket on and i made sure that i had my socks on because i didn't want my feet to get cold because if my feet are cold then i'm probably gonna catch some sort of a cold wait a minute i'm gonna catch a cold from my feet being cold sure that's fine uh but i've been gone for a long time and i apologize it's just a lot of life going on um just to give you a super quick update we passed inspection for electric and for plumbing and for build on the bathroom that i'm building hooray bumper car and um you know the kids have been kind of in and out of school because of holiday stuff and we've been going to parties and holiday parties and birthday parties and parties Parties and parties and parties and family parties and all sorts of stuff. And it's just been really busy. And shows, so many shows. So it's been good. It's been great. But I've missed you. I always miss you when I don't talk to you. I get kind of freaked out. Kind of about freaked out how freaked I am that I don't know currently. Pig is hiding from me, as he does sometimes. And that freaks me out. You know this. But more importantly, all that being said, here's a story that I want to tell you today. And it's a super, super, super, super awesome story to me. And I wanted to record it. And I'm thinking that my kids probably won't listen to it. And I'll give you a little warning that your kids, I don't know if they want to listen to it. It's about Santa Claus. And basically, you know, obviously Santa Claus is real. Correct? We know this. Right? Yes. But. But for the last seven years at my kids' school, at their daycare, first for Emerson and then for Oliver, when Emerson went to kindergarten and then Oliver went there, every year they have a big Christmas party, a huge Christmas party. And one year they said, it was like the first year I was there, they were like, hey, do you want to be Santa Claus at our party? Do you want to? We have a costume. You can dress up. You can be Santa Claus. And I was like, yeah, I've never considered doing that, but I would love to do it. Right. And so I got the costume and the first year I was, I was like, you know, whatever. This is fun. But they were like tiny babies. And so I just put on a little show, put on a big voice and everything. And, um, and then, and then as the years went on and the kids were getting older, I would get a little bit more freaked out that I was like, oh no, I, I don't want them to figure out it's me. I don't want the kids to know that. I'm playing the part of Santa Claus today, not the real Santa Claus, like a Santa Claus helper. And, um, and so I, I would have them put makeup on me or I would do this thing where I would actually shave my beard. I have a beard usually. And on this day, this is the day of the year that I shave it all off. And the reason I do it is so that when I pick the kids up, when they see me, I'm hoping for some sort of like a cognitive dissonance, like, like, whoa, daddy looks different. So that. If there's any thought that I'm Santa Claus playing Santa Claus, that they won't realize it. Right. So that's my logic there. Uh, the first time I did it, I think it was like, Emerson was just like, nope, I don't, I do not know who that man is. I am not going to go over to that man. I do not know. I'm not familiar with whoever this person is. And I would talk to him. I was like, Hey, it's me, dad. And he was just like, ah, I don't know. Nah, nah. But anyway, and Oliver, I think just cried, which is, you know, this happens, but so I would go through these links. To try to make sure that I was putting on as good of a, uh, ruse as I could. And then they started, they would put like blush on me and they would put the head, like eyeliner pencils. So they would get rid of my eye, my eyebrows, whatever. And the voice that I would put on was kind of like this. It was a little bit like I was trying to do a Sean Connery, but someone yesterday said I was a little bit like David Attenborough. So it's a little bit. British and they actually at the daycare, they thought it was hilarious. They were like, oh, you sound like you're from England. And I was just like, all right, I'll take it. I don't mind. And then somebody was just like, oh, you sound like Mrs. Doubtfire. And I was just like, that's completely different. Cause that's like, which is like, there's high pitched and I was not doing any high pitch things as all, uh, but anyway, and I would sing songs and ho, ho, ho, ho. You understand my soul thing. So every year I would do it. And it's my favorite day of the year by far, by far my favorite day because I get nerves, I get, uh, kind of terrified just because every year when they get older, I'm just like, all right, I got to really amp up the show and, and, and just like seeing the kids and we have pictures of Oliver and I think of Emerson too. I need to find them sitting in my lap, like looking at me, not knowing it's their dad. And it's just like, ah, it's heartbreaking. So yesterday was the last time that I'm going to get to do it because Oliver's going to kindergarten next year and you know, it's the, I mean, the people at the daycare, they're kind of freaked out too. I'm super freaked out, but they're kind of freaked out because they're like, oh, we got to find a new Santa. And I'm like, oh, my heart's breaking. Um, but yesterday I went in and I did it. And, um, I, I, I get very, I get, I cry sometimes, but yesterday I managed not to cry. Uh, I went in and I did it and it was great and it didn't hit me until, so after I'm in the room with all the kids, probably like 70 people or so, I don't know. And you're talking and you're doing all the different classes and you're taking all the different pictures and I'm asking them what they want for Christmas. And I have the teachers write the kids names and the names if they have elves at home so that I can kind of call it out and be like, oh, you know, Adrian, how are you doing over there? Whatever, blah, blah, blah. And how is sprinkles your elf? And they're like, oh man, this dude knows my elf. Like this is, how's this happening? Or if I know parents' names, I'll throw parents' names. And I did that a couple of times yesterday too. Um, just, you know, anything to create a connection with a kid. Cause it just like, it kind of deepens the magic of the whole thing to my, to my mind. And so it was, it was great. And we sang songs and I tell silly little jokes. Um, and it's a lot of call and response and a lot, I mean, there's a lot of screaming, uh, a lot of excitement, a lot of screaming from tears. Also kids get freaked out by Santa. And then I have to shut it down a little bit and say, oh, it's okay, dear. You're perfectly fine. It's going to be Santa's here to say hello to you. I didn't mean to scare you or whatever, stuff like that. And, um, so then I go around to each of each room individually say goodbye, babies. Thank you for having me. Bye one or twos threes. And at the threes was where it started. It hit me because they gave me a bag of candy canes, like a stocking full of candy canes. And so I took a class picture. I thanked them. I got them all to stand in a line. And then I was giving out the candy canes and individually one by one by one. And they would say, thank you, Santa. Thank you, Santa. And it's, oh, it's getting me now. And just so much, so many emotions and so much joy. But. Sadness. And it's, oh, now I'm getting sad. OK, hold on. Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths. It's my favorite day. So I think, you know, then I got over to Ali's room and the kids are a little bit bigger and they, you know, they're they're they're sweet and they they they're much more rambunctious because, you know, they're almost they're almost kindergartners. And I think that's part of it, too, is you have kids and you're watching them grow up and they're getting older and it's just like, ah. Where's my little baby? Oh, and I'm crying. I'm full of crying. But it's just. And so when when I was talking to Ali, he was in my lap and took the picture with him and then I asked him what he wanted for Christmas. And he said a remote control dinosaur, no, a remote control dragon, which it's it's December 21st at that point. Never have I heard him mention a remote control dragon, but that's fine. We'll figure that out. But as he was walking away. I said, I said, I said, hello, you know, Oliver, I want you to make sure you have a brother. Correct. And he was just like, yeah. And I was like, his name is is Emerson J. Emerson. Is that right? And he was like, yeah. I was like, I want you to tell him that I'm keeping an extra special eye on him. And I did like a little thing. And I and I then I mentioned Elf. I was just like, and and also your your elf, Elfie the snow monster. He's a he's a he's one of my favorite elves. He does a great job every year. Just tell him I said hello or whatever. And he was totally freaked out. Right. And it wasn't until so I was walking out to the car and the women who run the daycare, I was like, oh, my gosh, you almost had emotions. And they're like, stop. And then I got in the car and I put on Christmas music, waterworks, bawling tears. Right. I picked the kids up and Emerson Oliver's telling Emerson that Santa was asking about. And then all he goes a few minutes later, he goes, oh, dad, Santa sounded a little bit like you. And I was like, no. And Emerson was like, you have a Santa suit. And I was like, no, I don't have a Santa suit. He was like, yes, you do. And I was like, I do not have a Santa suit, because at that point I didn't. I had returned it. But it was I guess we came close. I guess we ended it at the right time. But seriously, I love it. And I love you guys. Happy holidays from the Bumper podcast.

    Unknown: Happy holidays from the Bumper podcast.

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe