Tag: rain

Natty Bumpercar: whoa look at us bumper podcasting right here in the rain yes we are it's raining hard right

Oliver: yeah so it's been raining for days right uh yeah i'm pretty sure it has been raining for a day

Natty Bumpercar: wait how did you weren't here in the last episode who are you i'm oliver i'm your son i'm not so sure about that that seems very strange to me that you would be in here recording

Oliver: a podcast do you have stuff to talk about even uh yeah last time i was here i got hired here

Natty Bumpercar: as a bodyguard you got hired as a bodyguard yes by you in fact um okay okay i don't think i'm

Oliver: actually allowed to because there's why there's a law that's called uh child labor i don't know what that means but it says children under the age of 18 cannot work

Natty Bumpercar: children under the age of 18 cannot work wait you know hold on hey rufus get over here for a second rufus come here come here

Aloysious J. Pig: yeah yeah uh what's going on and oh the boy is back hello there uh how do you do today uh my name's oliver that's what i said i said hello there i don't think legally i'm allowed to work you're not what why why do you think that exactly

Oliver: i don't think that an 11 year old can work at some place

Aloysious J. Pig: ah i see so you you you decided what to do a little searching on the internet and you think you found some sort of a legal loophole which is going to keep you from uh participating in the activities here at the bumper podcast here in in in in in headquarters is that what you're thinking

Oliver: uh no i actually found that in a book i found at your desk about the laws

Aloysious J. Pig: okay now i didn't when did you start reading i didn't know you could read i thought we kept you away from book learning and whatnot uh i started to learn how to read one i think i was like one two three five child hold on that was you natty he said he started learning

Natty Bumpercar: at age of five come on buddy you weren't stop kicking your chair that's uh you started learning when you were like probably two like because i don't remember anything i know but so like five you're already in uh in kindergarten you're going into kindergarten and so like everything they did in uh pre-k or whatever uh that's where they were teaching you like what letters are and what numbers are and what uh colors are do you remember um what are your uh primary colors red blue yellow that's it there's only three of them yeah yeah i think you might be right i think you might be right do you know okay so what is your favorite color blue it is yes that's interesting guess what my favorite color is blue it's also blue yes you are correct uh and so you learned colors you're in shapes rattle off a few shapes for me if you could blue

Oliver: square

Natty Bumpercar: that's a shape that that checks out rectangle um rectangle is also a shape yeah you're two for two

Oliver: pyramid

Natty Bumpercar: pyramid is not a shape i am so sorry yes it is it's a 3d shape oh we're doing 2d we can't go 3d oh my goodness

Aloysious J. Pig: goodness okay what you doing shapes yeah what's your favorite shape circle my favorite shape is uh is uh i can't think of my favorite shape i came in here all excited and ready to go i thought i was gonna i thought i was gonna take over and then all of a sudden i got pressure you know i got nervous like it was a a quiz or a test or something where it's just like what's your favorite shape aloe it's just you know it's like oh boy i am not sure you know who's gonna know though get over here for a second

Oliver: hi who um what are we doing we're talking about shapes and colors oh um , i love shapes and colors

Doodle Poodle: i'm doodle poodle i'm a poodle who loves to doodle do you know what color this is well i'm a dog so i'm colorblind so i'm gonna say it's a light gray uh close enough okay you know what my favorite color is what it's light gray because that's one of the only colors i can see so aloe she said you wanted to know what my favorite shape is yeah well my favorite shape is a circle oh my favorite shape is also a circle oh we long lost brothers

Aloysious J. Pig: oh sorrry maddie oh his favorite color is a circle and uh i loooooove a appropriate number

Doodle Poodle: and his favorite color is blue

Oliver: just calm down we have two dogs we do have two dogs but neither of them are poodles aren't poodles

Natty Bumpercar: Or really know how to draw.

Oliver: Yeah, they do not know how to doodle.

Natty Bumpercar: No, they do not. So, did you figure… I heard your favorite color is blue. Your favorite shape is a circle?

Unknown: Yes.

Natty Bumpercar: How do you feel about cylinders? I know, I think they said we weren't going to do 3D shapes, but… If we're already here, we might as well.

Oliver: They're like circles.

Natty Bumpercar: They are a lot like circles.

Oliver: But long.

Natty Bumpercar: But long. They're long circles. Is a hot dog a cylinder?

Oliver: Yeah?

Natty Bumpercar: Ooh. Or is it? I think if you cut the two ends off, then maybe it would be a cylinder? Because, you know, like at the end, it kind of goes down to a curve? I guess, is it a curve? Then what shape do you say it is? I say it's hot dog shaped. I think that's a legitimate shape.

Oliver: Okay, then.

Natty Bumpercar: If you're out in nature, and you see something that's that shape, what are you going to call it? Oh, it looks like a hot dog.

Unknown: Yes.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, okay. So, we did colors, and we did shapes. What else is left? Do you have a favorite letter? Wait, real quick. How many letters… How many letters are there? Uh, 26. Hold on. 26?

Doodle Poodle: God, I don't know. I'm looking it up.

Aloysious J. Pig: Is he counting? Hold on. That doesn't count. If he's going to count… Q-Q-L-L-B-P-N-O-O-Z-Z. Uh, Aloysius A-B-C.

Oliver: Yeah, it's 26. 26?

Aloysious J. Pig: 26? Oh, hold on. He's forgetting the secret letters. The secret letters of the alphabet. The letters that we only learned in law school. That's right. Legal lawyers know about the secret letters that exist that other people don't even understand or believe in or know for certain. You know, it's how we are able to charge you extra money. Because they say, why does my lawyer cost me so much money? And it's because of the training that I've received. You understand? The training to understand things you could never understand.

Oliver: Okay, then what are the secret letters?

Aloysious J. Pig: Are you a lawyer?

Unknown: Yeah.

Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. Doodle Poodle, give me that piece of paper over there. I'm going to show him some of the secret letters.

Doodle Poodle: Okay. Here you go. Bringing you a piece of paper. Here you go.

Aloysious J. Pig: All right. Let's see here. Now, does anybody have a pen? Anybody got a rod and utensil that might work? Rufus, he's not a lawyer. He's an 11-year-old child who started the episode by saying that he couldn't even work here. Because? He's 11. You were part of that conversation. So now, at what point did you lose the thread? Did you get confused and you start thinking?

Oliver: Wait, Pig, how do you know that? You came up to the part where we were talking about shapes and colors.

Aloysious J. Pig: Bro, I'm over there in the studio with Producer. Can you tap in, Producer, to say something?

Producer: Yeah, I was interested in what's going on. I was listening to the episode. In the episode, the child's name was, he said, he just said, your name is Toby? What's your name? Wally, Wally, Willie, Willie, Wally, Toby? I don't know. Anyway, this child, he was talking and Aloysius was sitting next to me so he could hear everything. And he said, like, oh, you know, I'm 11. I can't work here. Meanwhile, I don't know. I'm a frog, man. I'm a frog and I work every day. You know, so it's like, for you to come in and start saying things like, I'm a, I'm just a baby child. It's just kind of, you know, whatever.

Aloysious J. Pig: Producer, be nice to him. Let's bump a guy's kid.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, thanks, Pig. Sorry about that, Ollie. Producer can get a little bit spicy sometimes.

Oliver: Okay. I'm going to go get a pen.

Natty Bumpercar: You're going to go get a pen? Yes. What for? You don't know? I was going to get a pen to write something. Okay. Well, don't walk too far because, you know, you are attached to everything. So I guess Bumper Podcast Couture is what we learned today. We learned that it's raining a lot. We learned, oh, I don't know if we learned this, but if you want to listen to the Bumper Podcast, you can go to Radio Free Montclair, which is a fun nonprofit radio station in the town next to me, and you can listen. And if you want to hire Oliver, I think you're pretty much out of luck because he is taking himself off the job market, and his job is just to be the most adorable sweet child ever.

Robot: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.