Tag: podcasting

Bumperpodcast #453 – Season 3 – Oil & Water

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty and the crew try a song and realize why they haven’t been recording as much Tune in for laughs, lessons, and lots of laughs as they navigate the paperwork jungle!

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About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar reunites with Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, and Producer after a long hiatus from recording the Bumperpodcast. The gang struggles with technical issues including microphone popping sounds and missing equipment, leading to humorous discussions about "paschetti" pronunciation and cooking oils. Aloysius attempts an impromptu rap song that goes hilariously wrong, prompting the crew to question whether they still have chemistry together. The episode devolves into playful arguments about offensive language, workplace safety, and whether they're like "oil and water" as a team. Despite the chaos and rust from their time away, the characters' signature banter and absurd humor shine through.

Memorable Quotes

“Everything's good. Everything's fine. We made a terrible song. And that's gonna happen. We haven't made a song in a long time, and the one we just did was terrible.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“I'm starting to wonder if this is why we hadn't recorded a bumper podcast in a long time. Maybe we just don't gel anymore. Maybe we're like oil and water.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“Is there such a thing as soy oil? Can we start soil? What'd you cook your food in? I cooked it in soil! Million dollar plan!”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #podcasting #music #friendship #comedy #cooking #workplacehumor #improvisation

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so i have an idea i have several ideas but only one idea that really pertains to you guys at this moment and so what i've been doing is listen i've been listening to so many podcasts like upwards of four five podcasts and um not all the way through i have to say that just partially um because who has the time honestly uh i would understand it if you if you are about to turn this one off you ever no one has time no one has time to listen to things to bibble babble to jibber jabber no so i i had i had an idea and my idea was um i just before you say your idea

Aloysious J. Pig: uh i just wanted you to know that the uh listening numbers have come in and uh it won't Don't be an issue because it looks like everybody gave up on this podcast because you stopped making it. So it kind of makes a little bit of sense. So right now you're just talking into the void. You're talking into the ether. You're talking into, I don't know, like somewhere where no one is. The, the, the, Mari, Marin, what is it? Marinara? I think it's Marinara. Mariana, right? Not Marin, yeah. No. Mariana Trench.

Rufus T. Rufus: Is it, did we decide here? No, this is Rufus. T. Rufus. And did we actually decide on if it's Marinara Trench? Now, hold on a second. I believe the Marinara Trench is when you make a pot of spaghetti and you just family style, you put it down the middle of the table. Oh. Hold that paschetti. And then you come along.

Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, are you saying paschetti? Because I, the first time I think you actually said spaghetti, which I appreciate. But then the second time you, you just went on with paschetti. Paschetti.

Producer: Yeah. Right? Yes. Paschetti. But Natalie, it's me, producer, and ye, I heard it as well. I was going to, you know, I, I like to mark things on notepads so that at the end of the episode, if I'm, you know, if I have to go back in and, you know, edit anything or whatever, but I, I wrote in there this exact time stamp that these men said, a paschetti like that, you know?

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Okay. Thank you very much, producer. Wow. You, your accent got a little bit, what's happening today? This is, this is very strange. You got, you got, you got very, I would say Italian, but I don't really know. I don't, you know, accents are weird to me. Everything kind of sounds dissimilar. Oh.

Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, you Sophie. Fancy. Yo, look at me. I'm Natty Bumpercar. I got so much wit. I got so much, uh, like whatever, but, uh, I gotta say, paschetti, Rufus, you sound like, you know, like you're a three-year-old or seven, uh, three-year-old or seven. Not, not four, not five, not six. You're either a three-year-old or you're seven. And, and that's who I understand is it's in their, their language. It's in what they say. They say paschetti, like that.

Producer: I wanted to thank you, Aloysius, for, because everybody who is saying the paschetti, they're really going into the microphone and they're saying it very loud. So they're getting that, that, that, that noise, that pop noise that you get because we don't have a pop, uh, uh, uh, barrier anymore, like a pop screen. And so I do appreciate, uh, if everyone else could follow Aloysius. Aloysius. Aloysius, hey, sample, and then we, it'll make everybody happy because, you know, I agree that no one is probably listening at this point anymore, but if they were, uh, we just want to give them a high quality, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, product to, did I just do it? Yeah. Oh, man. Okay. This is very difficult. It's very difficult.

Rufus T. Rufus: I was listening to my, my headphones here. Do you know we used to call headphones cans? Like that. We said, what? I can't hear you through the cans. That's when we were back on the radio long time ago, long, long time ago for you, uh, Piggy Lou before you even born. Now here's the thing. I think what we got to do until we get ourselves a, uh, a pop God is, uh, just avoid any words that might be, uh, associated or, uh, integrated or, uh, reverberated, uh, through the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. the microphone with the issues that are associated with not having a pop filter.

Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. Yeah, that works for me. It's going to be very difficult because we don't have a script like some of these odd casts. I mean, that has a P at the beginning but I didn't want to say it. So now, that's all I'm thinking about now. Hold on. You're good.

Unknown: Do you hear this? Pig, I think that there's some music happening. Do you think there's going to be a song?

Producer: There could be. Drop the beat, pretty please. Oh. Okay.

Aloysious J. Pig: Sounds like we're doing something. Let's go. Ready? I'm rolling. Riding. Sitting. Poseidon. Looking for Poseidon. Okay, that's rhymed. I'm chasing. You're hiding. I'm barely even trying. So clean off your face. You're in last place. The geese. The gaggle. The geese will never haggle. A wiggle. A waggle. Alright, I'm

Rufus T. Rufus: jumping in here. I don't know if you're just like, out of practice. If you forgot how to do this. Or what the problem is right now. Can you cut that music? Can you cut it off, please?

Producer: Producer, I'm talking to you. Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't know if you were like, doing part of this song. You know, like a spoken word kind of thing where you come in and you're like, Mr. Top Guy or whatever. You know, I noticed that you were not paying attention to the music or the beat or anything that was said before, so I was guessing that you weren't doing that, but… Yes, yes. Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's okay.

Natty Bumpercar: Wow. I mean, you just cut it. It wasn't even like, we're gonna fade it out or anything. It was just like, and gone. Music just gone. It's fine. I'm sorry. It's fine.

Producer: I just thought I was supposed to do it. The lawyer man here, Rufus D. Rufus, says, you got to get rid of the music. You're not doing a great job. I just pushed the button and it's gone. It's fine. It's just my job. It's just my life. It's just my dream.

Aloysious J. Pig: But that's fine. That's fine. Listen, producer, it is okay. I don't want anybody to get worried. I don't want anybody to get worked up. Alright? Everything's good. Everything's fine. We made a terrible song. And that's gonna happen. We haven't made a song in a long time, and the one we just did was terrible. And that's, again, it's okay. We're gonna move on. Probably. Do we have anything else planned for this episode? Was that it? I don't know.

Natty Bumpercar: No, we didn't even plan for that. Come on. It's okay. Everybody calm down.

Rufus T. Rufus: Now, I'm starting to wonder if this is why we hadn't recorded a bumper podcast in a long time. Maybe we just don't gel anymore. Maybe we're like oil and water. There's several. Now, you can be the water, and then we can be different kinds of oil. Myself, I think I'm gonna be an avocado oil. Uh, Aloysius, what are you thinking over there? What are your thoughts?

Aloysious J. Pig: Well, you know, it's a good point. Oil and water. Yeah, he is absolutely water over there. Uh, your avocado. I'm gonna, you know, I wanna stay away from seed oils, because as I understand, those are out of uh, out of vogue at the moment. Is there anything like a… I know they do milk, but is there like a an almond oil? Or a soil? Oh, soy oil? Soil! Let's start that business! Is there such a thing as soy oil? Can we start soil? What'd you cook your food in? I cooked it in soil! There we go! Ho-ho! Million dollar plan!

Producer: Yeah, I don't really want to be, uh, oil, necessarily, but, here's a thing I could be, is, um, I could be uh, butter, maybe? You know, just, it tastes good, you can still cook in it, it doesn't have as high of a um, burned temperature, as the other ones, and especially the avocado oil, you know, you can really get that pan hot. Uh, soil, I don't, I'm not too overly familiar with, um… We? Yeah, we're gonna… Are we determining if that's a real thing, or… Yeah, I think

Natty Bumpercar: we should get an intern for the podcast, because a lot of the shows that I was watching or listening to, whatever you do, um, they had people off to the side who were actually like, um, they would say stuff, and then the people over on the side would look it up, and so, like, you know, they're sitting here like how you're just talking about soy oil, soil, they would be able to just, like, put it up in front of you, so you would know right then if, if it was actually a real thing or something that could be done, as opposed to how we seem to do it, which is, something is mentioned, we have no idea if it's valid or if it's real, and then we're supposed to remember the next week, uh, what we said, and to have actually looked it up, and how many times has that actually happened, and do you think we can count it on one hand?

Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, here we go, here we go, here we go, count it on one hand, very, very, very, very insensitive, Natty, I don't have hands, I've got little hooves, look, look, look at me, look at me, little hooves, alright, and, and producer, why don't you jump in here? Oh, hey, come on, man, I didn't mean

Producer: that. Yeah, but it wasn't necessary, you're like, you could have said anything really, but now you're just like, oh, hey, frog, why don't you jump into the conversation, I mean, like, what are we doing, are we just going around the room now, and and, and, and, and

Rufus T. Rufus: picking things out, I guess? Oh, so now you, so I don't, I'm not trying to, uh, I don't want to say P-I-L-E, pile on, but you, uh, producer just did the, the, the P, the pop thing, so I guess it's, it's gotten everybody, and I also wanted to point out that, uh, Aloysius, if you, and, uh, if you, producer, want to have a meeting after, uh, this session, um, then we could maybe come up, uh, draw up some diagrams, draw up some, uh, I don't know, little, you know, good old-fashioned litigation to, uh, address the situation which I myself just saw, I myself was hurt by, I myself was quite offended by. I'm not sure, if I actually feel safe

Natty Bumpercar: in this place of work. What? Really? You don't feel safe? Okay. You know what? I don't even remember who it was at this point who said, like, oh, maybe we all, it's oil and, it was you, wasn't it, Rufus? Oil and water. Yeah, that's it. I'm water. Maybe this is why we haven't recorded the podcast in a long time because, because it's, it's hard. It's walking on eggshells. It's walking on, walking on broken glass.

Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, that was, actually, that was a pretty good pull in the middle of everything. That was good. Good job to

Rufus T. Rufus: your brain, one point bumper car's brain. Now, yeah, I can see why you're giving them compliments. You know, I understand the creative process, but now I gotta deal with the legal paper probably from that. I got, I got, I got people breathing down my necks. I got letters in my mailbox filling up. I can't even close my mailbox, which means all of my catalogs are getting wet and musty and moldy. And I, you know, I can't even look at that. I don't even, what is the summer fair this year? I don't know, because I can't look at it. All right? So, now Natty, that's what you got me in. You got me in the situation where you're talking about hands, and we're talking about jump right in. And now, I gotta deal with the legalese of this whole, this whole, this whole, conflagration.

Producer: I'm actually okay with the whole thing, now that I think about it. It was a, it was a, it was an accident. I'm good. Oh, I'm glad you're good. Pig, are you good? No! Oil and water! The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at nattybumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

May 6, 2025
Bumperpodcast #450 – Season 3 – Okay

In this episode of the Natty Bumpercar Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar addresses the long delay between episodes, sharing insights with Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, and Aloysious. Don’t miss out — listen, subscribe, and share the laughter today!

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About This Episode

After a long hiatus following episode 449 titled 'The End,' Natty Bumpercar returns to explain why the Bumperpodcast went dark for months. Joined by Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, and Producer, Natty candidly discusses getting overwhelmed by ambitions to add theme music and new features, ultimately flying too close to the sun like Icarus. The gang debates the who-what-when-where-why-how of proper questioning, discovers their listener numbers have plummeted to zero, and hilariously contemplates pivoting to a 'how-to-fail' podcast. This self-aware episode captures the struggles of podcast burnout while maintaining the show's signature improvisational comedy style.

Memorable Quotes

“I flew too close to the sun… it was a metaphorical fall, an allegorical fall.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“We used to be like, oh, wow, look at all these people. And now it's like, oh, okay, some guy named Bob listened to it last Thursday… Nope. No, that's another zero.”
— Producer

“Is there a podcast that's specifically how to fail at everything? Because I think, number one, we'd go right there.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #podcasting #burnout #comeback #failure #overwhelm #comedy #meta-humor #timemanagement

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: okay okay okay so i apologize i am sorry and i apologize and the reason that i am apologizing is i put out an episode it was number what is it 449 and i titled it the end and then i proceeded to not make any more episodes for a long long time wait so are we back to doing this

Aloysious J. Pig: because i i was enjoying the break i was enjoying not having to talk to you every week i was enjoying you know just living my life just being me yeah it's just j pig over here okay yeah

Natty Bumpercar: well i get that and i totally agree i kind of enjoyed the time off as well but what tends to happen is if i'm not doing the bumper project if i'm not making drawings if i'm

Unknown: no and not to be impolite but no i i need to focus today because it's been a long time

Natty Bumpercar: and i have to explain what's going on and and why you know yeah well uh excuse me

Rufus T. Rufus: you i just want to jump in here because i got some some question as to the when the where the what and the why you understand yes so you don't have any questions about about the who i don't i don't think i understand what you're getting out there aloysius i said uh let me think here i said the what the where the when and the why um i think i said everything there no i'm pretty sure you did

Natty Bumpercar: you skip you skipped who who what when where how why i don't even know if you did how

Aloysious J. Pig: yeah so what he said traditionally you start with a who who who where all right when yep what how and why who when where what yeah who where when what how and when why that's all the bases

Rufus T. Rufus: yeah well i'm just i feel like i did say all of those things we're not recording this are we because I don't want anyone to go back and listen to tell me if I said something incorrect or incomplete or incoherent because I don't I got kind of used to not being recorded every time I talk and yeah Aloysius I got to say something to you as well it seems like you're used to not talking too you weren't on mic I couldn't hear you there for a second gotta talk into the mic there son come on

Natty Bumpercar: I hate to be on his side but Rufus is right you kind of looked over to the side there for a second and we kind of I don't know producer are you able to hear him when he looked over to the side yes I did

Producer: deep down a little bit but I think I was able to fix everything and if not I can fix it in post and I can go in and I can sweeten it and I can add a little bit of this and a little bit of that and it's going to be perfect and you'll just see you'll see but with all of that being said it is easier if you just talk right into the microphone and then my job is a little bit easier

Natty Bumpercar: if I'm to be honest well I guess that's what it's all about making everybody's jobs easier I um forgot why I said that why i was apologizing oh yeah made an episode months ago the end then no episodes after why why why no i think you're the who the what the why you can't just say why why why you gotta

Rufus T. Rufus: have some how maybe some win yeah definitely uh where okay no so i was just kind of emphasizing

Natty Bumpercar: you know the why because i feel like we we owe an explanation people deserve an explanation we were pumping out episodes once a week new cover art we were doing all kinds of stuff and we were getting to this magical 450th episode and we were talking about getting uh theme music and pig interviews is going to start up and all kinds of cool fun stuff and then i mean it broke me is what happened i got overwhelmed i flew too close to the sun

Aloysious J. Pig: oh you pulled an icarus is that what you're saying you have your icarus you know the wax the wax and your wings uh melted from the sun and then you you fell really far yep i don't know how

Natty Bumpercar: far it was probably really far it was it was it was really far but it was a metaphorical fall an allegorical fall we always have this problem how many episodes have there been when i can't remember the difference between yeah homily and the simile and a metaphor and an allegory and a pastry and a baguette

Rufus T. Rufus: yeah i'm hoping that you didn't break us out of the you know the the storage shed over there just to uh go into this tired old uh adage again uh by the way i i did hear that you fell now when you fail do you feel like it was anyone else's fault did you feel like maybe there was a step that was a little bit off maybe uh the curb had been uprooted or something like that maybe somebody no deliberately uh maybe your shoe exploded and then you kind of fell from anything i mean anything i'm just trying to figure out if we have a case here yeah

Natty Bumpercar: no there's there's there's no case um but here's the thing here's the thing the thing of the thing is i like to try to have a philosophy where if there's a big project like i always use a wedding cake if i have to make a wedding cake and i tell my brain make a wedding cake then my brain is going to shut down it's going to it's just going to freeze up and uh you know if i keep pressing it then the whole engine up there might just break and it's because i'm approaching this monumental thing and it's it's overwhelming and it's too much and so what i like to try to do is to break it down into digestible bits like um okay i need to find a recipe okay i need to find the ingredients okay i need to find the equipment okay what's the temperature like things that are easily achievable and then just kind of go from there now that's how i normally do things and things happen and things work out but a lot of times when there's abstract things like i'm gonna make a new theme song my brain is just like i'm gonna make a like there's no there's no recipe there's no you know ingredients and so i just kind of stare at the computer and um and i'm like okay go do something yeah you do it and and then i get overwhelmed and then i stop and i it's really frustrating and um it does a fun thing where when i get overwhelmed and then i stop working on one thing then it starts to cascade it starts to flow over to other things and after a little while it's it seems so insurmountable that i can't even conceive of how to start over again of how to like okay i'm gonna go do the uh podcast great here we go uh i'm gonna set aside a little bit of time to do you know this project here we go and it's all about time management and trying to figure out a structure and i i just i don't do well with that i just start to uh i start to clam up i start to pull into my uh turtle shell i start you know i hide under a rock and uh then i put on noise canceling headphones and uh that's it i'm gone so that's it

Aloysious J. Pig: that's what happened that is what happened so there was there was no fall uh who the whole icarus thing that's that's nothing is what i'm reading into this and you're telling me we had a podcast that was like ranking it was actually people people were listening we were getting numbers remember we almost got i think it was a hundred thousand listens or something crazy and then you saw that and you were like i've got to meet the moment i've got to do all this stuff i gotta get a theme song you're always wanting to get a theme song and and then you that's why we stopped and and how many listens have we been getting lately i'm just curious to see if two months of non-activity is going to

Natty Bumpercar: affect the bottom line of listens so yeah producer i think you probably have all those numbers in front of you can you i guess read them out or whatever yes so

Producer: um here's the thing we were doing very well and we were growing up the mountain up the mountain here we go here we go and uh so now um we don't it's like is this what's like the lowest number

Rufus T. Rufus: that you can even think of now hold on is this like a riddle or something are we gonna i need i need a scantron i need a number two pencil and i i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't and I'm going to need probably a lot of erases. I like to erase a lot as I write out my notes.

Producer: Nope, nope. It's not a math equation. It's just a zero was the answer. It's a pretty simple, you know, it's like we used to be like, oh, wow, look at all these people. They're listening. Oh, on Monday, they liked it. On Tuesday, oh, my goodness. And now it's like, oh, okay, some guy named Bob listened to it last Thursday, and Tuesday, Wednesday, not so much. Okay. Oh, Friday. Friday looks like one person. Nope. No, no, that's another zero. Another zero.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. So, zero. That's a lot of zeros. That's okay. And it's okay. It's okay. You know, it's going to, we just, I got to rein it all in, get back into the flow. I love doing this. I'm hoping that you like listening to it, maybe. And if not, then I'm hoping that you're listening to it and getting something out of it, like how not to do a podcast, you know, how to almost get moderately successful and then stop doing your podcast. Like, these are things that I feel like I could speak on.

Rufus T. Rufus: Now, hold on. Hold on a second. We were supposed to be like, I think we were in the comedy section, but are we going to be a how-to section now? Like how to fail at everything?

Aloysious J. Pig: That's actually not a terrible idea. We should look into that. Is there a podcast that's specifically how to fail at everything? Because I think, number one, we'd go right there.

Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar, We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Hugs and hearts. See you soon. Bye.

February 12, 2025
Bumperpodcast #449 – Season 3 – The end?

In this episode, Natty Bumpercar is woken up by Santa Claus. You won’t want to miss this episode of the Bumperpodcast as it may be the last…

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About This Episode

In episode 449, Natty Bumpercar wakes up from a months-long sleep at his desk to discover everything has changed. Santa visits to deliver some shocking news: Producer now has a successful morning show and seven tadpoles, Aloysius J. Pig is touring with his one-man show called "The Swine and I," and Rufus T. Rufus is in jail. As Natty processes missing the big 450th episode celebration he had planned, he grapples with feelings of abandonment and the realization that his grand plans for interviews and show expansion led to complete burnout. This melancholic yet absurdly funny episode finds Natty covered in dust, missing Turkey's Thanksgiving visit, and spiraling over the lack of background music.

Memorable Quotes

“I get so much momentum in my brain. Brain momentum, I'll call it. Brain-mentum is not what I'm going to call it. And then everything just shuts down.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I'm so sorry to tell you this nutty… producer is now actually producing a monday through friday morning show, he's married, he has several children. Several yes, it's well you know it's only been a couple of months but frogs they you know it's all very fast.”
— Santa

“I don't like it when there's no background music. That's really starting to freak me out. More so even than the months of no episodes.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #burnout #friendship #thanksgiving #podcasting #lifechanges #nostalgia #planningvsreality

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Santa, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: nat natty yeah natty are you natty wake up natty wake up natty yeah i santa i was i was asleep i i don't what day is it i don't even i don't even know yes it's it's towards the end of

Santa: november and from the looks of it you've got a covering of dust oh you've been here for quite

Natty Bumpercar: some time i i don't understand the last thing i remember i was i was here i was reporting the uh bumper podcast and we were um about to have our big 450th episode and yes and i was so excited because i had all these cool things that i wanted

Santa: to do and i was so excited because i had all these cool things that i wanted to do and i to do and and i was gonna have a a theme song and we were gonna have like interviews and um maybe an intern and the the numbers people were listening and it was great all over the world yes i i'm so sorry to tell you this nutty i i apologize i feel like i should have almost just left you sleeping but i think you overwhelmed yourself a bit and probably just fell asleep but that doesn't i was no i was we were making so much progress and now there's there's not even music in the background and there's nobody else here where's producer where's aloesius where's rufus his name is rufus yeah yeah rufus rufus that's his name i i oh i forgot his name it's it's been quite a long time and i i'm sorry to say this but producer is is now actually producing a monday through friday morning show oh um it's both televised as well as simulcast on the radio and he's doing good for him he's doing very well he's married he has several children several yes it's well you know it's only been a couple of months but frogs they you know it's all very fast and aloesius he's he's decided to go back on tour with his one-man show it's uh something called the swine and i oh and uh rufus is great well i feel terrible telling you this but rufus is in jail oh well okay yes i think we all knew that it was going to happen sooner or later okay well i guess huh things make more sense i mean i'm thrilled for producer he has a family he's doing i guess he's still producing so he's doing what he always wanted to do and uh aloesius you know he always loved to travel and he had a story and he wanted to get it out in front of people and i'm happy for him but i'm i mean i'm gonna miss those guys and rufus well if i'm to be honest i guess i'm just glad that he's physically okay even well even if he's in jail um he's not great you know it's he he he lived a tough life rufus and uh i guess it finally caught up to him and he's still alive i guess i'm you know i need i don't know what i don't even know what my next steps are i guess i need to get in touch with rufus to see why he's in jail you don't want to know it's terrible okay yes ah perhaps it's it's horrid yeah i can't even repeat it i don't want to i don't want to hear no um and producer i guess i mean i got a lot of work to do i got a lot of work to do i got a lot of work to do i got a lot of to reach out to all of these these guys you really should i guess i got to send him some some baby presents tadpole yes tadpoles yes tadpole okay yes tadpole presents how many tadpoles how many baby frogs tadpoles i lost baby tadpoles does he have seven i think who's his wife the name is patricia

Natty Bumpercar: and producer and who's who's directing pig's show like how do i even get in touch with him

Santa: i don't i feel like i've lost everything yes it does feel that way and as i was saying you should probably start off by bathing you've been laying here on this desk filthy it's a whole room just needs to be fumigated there should be some windows that are opened the door certainly and yes let's get yourself together before you go reaching out and potentially ruining the lives of well two of them one of them already kind of ruined his own life uh but yes i think that's going to be my recommendation okay that's a good recommendation but i so i'm wondering i mean so i guess this is like the 449th episode of the bumper podcast um which is crazy there i i was looking at it before i guess when i got overwhelmed and not very many podcasts get to this many episodes um especially you know with no one listening and um as far as listening you know i guess we started doing this for a while this like 14 years ago and we're at like 98 000 listens 98 000 that's instead blows my mind why anyone would listen to this that long and and that's why i was so excited to like really like we're gonna step it up a level and and it was the interviews that were gonna be pig interviews which i don't know if you even remember but we used to do pig interviews and he would go out and interview people and we were like oh my god this is so awesome and i'm like oh my god this is We were going to, like, double the length of the show. And then there was going to be, like, whole other just pig interview shows, which, I mean, like, there were plans being made. And, you know, sometimes I get myself so worked up and so excited with these ideas. And then what ends up happening is I just stop. Like, I get so much momentum in my brain. Brain momentum, I'll call it. Brain-mentum is not what I'm going to call it. And then everything just shuts down. And I guess even I just shut down. And I kind of can't believe that they all just left me here asleep on the desk in the studio and all by myself for months. Like, do you even know when the last episode was? Like, I'm looking at the calendar. It says. August. That can't be possible. That's, like, two months ago. Is that how long I've been asleep? God, this dust is terrible. It's making me cough. I'm going to make an admission here, Natty. Yeah? I haven't listened to the show in years. So I don't. But it's just news to me that it's been going on so long. There's so many episodes. Everything. And, you know, as to your friends leaving you, I would argue that perhaps, maybe, potentially, possibly, you actually left them first by falling asleep here at your desk. Oh, okay. I mean, you're not right. I did fall asleep. And, you know, I guess they could have just. . . They could have just tapped me on their way out. Maybe. . . All right. I don't know. Like, anything. Slam the door so that I would have woken up that way. Anything. Anything at all. You know? Because now it's been months. They basically have other lives. I'm sitting here. Why are you even here? It's November. All right. In theory, this is the week episode that. . . The turkey comes in and he gobbles and makes all of the chaos, you know, because of Thanksgiving. Oh, Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Like, a lot of times we do that this week. And now I'm waking up and it's Santa, which is great. I love that you're visiting. But also, there's. . . I don't like it when there's no. . . Background music. Like, I think that's really starting to freak me out. More so even than the months of no episodes. The everybody has left the show. That no one is listening probably anymore. That turkey's not here. I just don't like it when there's not a music bed. Yes. Well, I. . . My. . . Hmm. The first thing. . . I'm going. . . I'm going to try to pass all of this is not, not. Now, when you say not, that's a negative. And when you say not, not, then it cancels it out, which means it becomes a positive. So that means it is. So it's. . . It's. . . If I said it's not, then it's not happening. If I say it's not, not. . . Then it is happening. But let's say I really get into the mood and I say it's not, not, not. Not, not, not. Then that goes back, I would assume, to the negative. I don't know. That makes sense. It's a real conundrum, a grammatical conundrum that you've given us, Natty. I didn't mean to. Now, as to the rest. Yes, yes, yes. I think you should be. . . I'm so happy that anyone ever did listen to this show. Okay. You should be proud of yourself, of your past. What you've. . . What is that? What do you. . . What is happening? What is that? That's a. . . Yeah. If you make a word or if you say anything that begins with a P, we don't. . . I guess we don't even have that anymore. We used to have a little screen that would go. . . Over the microphone and it would catch the. . . The. . . The. . . What do you. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . And we had them a lot because of Aloysius J. Pig. I understand. So, we don't have that anymore either, I guess. Yeah, so, again, Natty. It feels like you're. . . Phoning in on the negative. Here are the things we don't have. We don't have a show anymore. We don't have a life anymore. We don't have friends. Man, hey. We don't have listeners. We don't have turkey. Turkey. Really, there's not a lot left. Oh.

Producer: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe to our channel. Please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talkers are Natty Bumpercar, Natty Bumpercar, and Natty Bumpercar. Natty Bumpercar is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

November 26, 2024
Bumperpodcast #441 – Season 3 – Better than better

Natty Bumpercar is finally feeling better. So tune in for an unforgettable comedic experience that will leave you in stitches and craving more. Don’t miss out—hit play and join Natty Bumpercar on his comedic journey through the ups and downs of life in Coffee-Can Alley!

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Transcription

Natty Bumpercar 0:00
I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.

And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.

Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

About This Episode

In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar addresses listener concerns about his mysterious absence after an episode titled "I Died a Little Bit." Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, and Producer reveal their original plan for a confusing series of episodes that never quite materialized. The conversation takes a wild turn when Aloysious proposes the concept of an "upside-down dentist," which the gang decides could be their million-dollar idea. Natty shares stories from his recent comedy shows, including a disastrous performance after eating a stack of pancakes and climbing 60 steps, contrasted with other shows where audiences couldn't stop laughing. The episode perfectly captures the improvisational chaos and genuine friendship that makes Bumperpodcast a unique comedy experience.

Memorable Quotes

“You listen to this podcast, and you're immediately like, hell, I understand. You know what? I can't be worse than that.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I've heard people say that they'd rather go to the upside-down dentist. Then listen to the show, which I didn't even know an upside dentist was a thing.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“Do not eat a giant stack of pancakes before trying to go on stage at a big show and try to entertain people.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #comedy #podcasting #dentistry #pancakes #performancestories #friendship #entrepreneurship #behindthescenes

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Robot

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: it was pointed out to me by someone who listens to the show that you're not allowed i'm not allowed to record and put out an episode that said the title was i died a little bit and then not put out another episode for a long long time they were like what are you doing you can't put out there that you died a little bit and then disappear it's not right it's not fair i mean you know like all your silly characters they haven't even been on the show with you and you know who knows how long who knows how many episodes is this is this whole thing just

Aloysious J. Pig: falling apart or like what is even going on let me tell you what is going on hello everybody it's me aloicious jay pig hey i i missed you it's good to see you and hear you and see you hi yeah hi hi okay here's the thing bumper guy and everybody i'm just gonna pull the curtain back a little bit bump we've seen each other okay you know we had a whole plan with the with the show well you know where's bumper guy you know we've done it a few times i guess but this was a little bit different you know and then uh so me and rufus and producer we got together and we we're talking you know and we're like all right bubble guy you're gonna go over there we're gonna record our own episodes and then you'll come in and you'll do yours and back and forth until it gets closer and closer and more confusing and uh then um you know it would all it would culminate

Rufus T. Rufus: i believe the word now yeah i believe that's the word that we used uh when we were kind of uh building out a schedule it's kind of a little bit of a skeleton idea of uh a team of people who worked together and everything that was going on at the time you're not talking about race crimes science and the trend of racing you know there was you knowเว isto is there's a template of what we were trying to think about doing is you know uh so little confusion have a little fun where you know he's not his daddy's where's everybody and we're like where's natty and back and forth and you know how we do and then there was something i don't know so we hadn't really figured it out because you know we like to play it off the cuff a little bit but it was gonna be funny that i can guarantee you ま

Natty Bumpercar: Well, I mean, if not funny, then at least ridiculous. I think that's the one thing that this podcast can always guarantee that it's going to deliver. I was recently at a meeting for a bunch of radio people, and we were talking about the different stuff, and somebody was nervous. They were like, oh, I don't know what to put out. I don't know what to make. What will people think? And I kind of raised my hand, and I was like, hey, I've been doing a podcast for a million years at this point. You should listen to it, and it will immediately assuage any fears that you may have about recording something or doing something or structure or, you know, desire to be good. And, you know, any of these things, you listen to this podcast, and you're immediately like, hell, I understand. You know what? I can't be worse than that.

Producer: Yes, Natalie, I hope that you're referring to not really the show production, because I am the producer, and it makes me kind of nervous when you're saying, oh, it's a bad show. Oh, it's unlistenable. Oh, everybody doesn't like it. Like, no one has ever made it through an entire episode. You know what I'm saying. But it hurts my feelings. It hurts my feelings. It hurts my feelings.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, oh, I got stuck there for a second. I agree, producer. You know, I've heard people say things like, this podcast is unlistenable. It's unattractive. Ungood is a word that I heard. I said, I'm not even sure if that is a word that you're using. I've heard people say it's despicable, which I don't know if I agree with. Uh, one bit. Uh, just, I've heard people say a lot of things.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, I, I, hold on, I do. Exactly. Yeah, so I, I, I mean, I listen. I got my ears to the street so that I can hear the beats of what everybody's saying, if it's nice or if it's sweet. If it ain't, that's okay. That's, I'm just, all right. Sometimes I bust into rhymes. I do that. It's what I, that's what I do. But, like, I've heard people say that they'd rather, uh, go to the upside-down dentist. Then, then, then, then listen to the show, which I didn't even know an upside dentist was a thing. But it does, I guess, it might be easier to get to the teeth that are on the top. Like, I never understand when the dentist is in there, and they're cleaning and cleaning. You know, it's gonna be easier to hit the teeth on the bottom. So, why don't they just, like, flip your chair upside down, and then they can clean the top ones as if they were the bottom ones. Yeah. And, and, and, you know, I think it would just be a better situation. I agree.

Natty Bumpercar: I don't agree. Well, hold on. I don't agree with all of the mean things that you were all saying, that other people were saying about the podcast. That, that I do not agree with. But I, I do like your idea about the upside-down dentist. I think the problem being, it might make people uncomfortable or dizzy if they're flipped upside-down. Um, so that's gonna be an issue that we'll have to work through. But I think, you know, just for a basic idea, just for the beginning of an idea, Uh, Rufus, if you could possibly go and file the paperwork, I think that this is probably going to be our bazillion-dollar idea.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, well, Natty, uh, I, you know what, for once, I actually agree with you. Like, I, I didn't agree with the whole shenanigans of disappearing and then, uh, you know, that. Because it, it's been done before and done much better, if I may say so myself. But, but, but, uh, what I do agree with you on. Of course, is the prospect, is the idea, is the inclination of making a little bit of a donation into my wallet. That's a cash donation, if you catch my drift. So I'm just gonna scoot on out of here. It's fun talking with everybody. And I'm gonna make my way, uh, to my office. And, well, I got the papers, and I'm gonna file the papers. And, uh, well, you know, hopefully, we'll, we'll hear, we'll hear the cash register start, uh, jingling. All right. Uh, hold on. All right, then. Oh, okay.

Aloysious J. Pig: You know what's always strange to me? Thanks, thanks, Rufus. Just, if you want to go, you can just, you can stand up and walk out of the room. Now, I don't know if anyone's really even gonna notice. Uh, I, I know, I get it. It's polite to, to tell everybody. But he, he, he, he was, he left the podcast like he was leaving a voicemail. Like, he's just kind of like, all right, I guess I'll be seeing you soon. You know, that kind of thing. I guess that's. Part of his, uh, his hospitality, or whatever it is. Um, anyway, all right, yeah, go file those papers, buddy. We're gonna do this. This is, we haven't done a podcast episode in a long time, and it seems like pretty soon we ain't gonna even need to. We ain't gonna have time to do it, because we're gonna be diving into our pool of upside dentist money. Can't wait. Oh, boy. Money, money, money.

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, it's just, like. I do think it's a good idea, and I think maybe I did this, too, and I apologize to everyone who's listening. We, we don't do things just for money. Money is not the end-all, be-all. Okay? Like, I think a lot of people might be helped by the upside dentist. I think, you know, it's gonna do some good in the world. And, you know, we're not completely driven by, by money. Like, the other day, I had a show, and I've been having so many shows lately. I figured it out. I've had eight shows in the last two weeks. That's a lot of shows, and it's phenomenal, and I love it, and it's wonderful. And I hope that it continues, because I've been having a really good time. Well, I had a really good time at, let me think. The first four shows were all wonderful. The next two shows, they hurt me. They made, they made me feel pain, because I didn't connect with the crowd. And, uh. So, that's kind of my fault. Also, this, the one of those shows, this, I think it was the first one, I had gone out to eat before, right before the show, and had eaten a stack of pancakes. I really have been loving pancakes lately. Don't know what it is about the pancakes, but they're just so good, and they're everything that my little body wants. But, I learned very quickly, and very real, do not eat a giant stack of pancakes. Before trying to go on stage, uh, at a, at a big show, and try to entertain people. Because, all your body's going to be doing is trying to metabolize, and trying to, um, just absorb the brick of, of batter that you have, uh, put inside yourself. And, not even that, not even just the brick of batter, but there's also all the sugar from the, uh, the syrup. And, uh. Just come on. I, I actually, I started to go into a, um, not a sugar coma, but it, I mean, I, I could feel myself nodding off. I started to fall asleep a little, and I was like, I, I gotta, I gotta go, I gotta go get me a Coke. And, so I had to go down, and when I went down, I found out this venue, this place, there were 60 steps. There were, like, several stairwells for me to get from where the show was, down to the concession bar, and then… Uh, on the way back up, well, on the way down, I noticed, I was just like, this is insane. How many steps is this? And, so on the way up, I, I counted them, and it was 60. And, um, you know, I like to, a lot of times, try to talk about things that are happening right there. Try to talk about things that are in the room. It just, it makes my brain happy. And, uh, so, and it helps me to get into material. And, that night, I tried to do that, and, uh, I think I started my set off, and I was just like, 60 steps? You know? We're gonna have to carry you back down. I don't know. It was silly. It was silly. 60 steps, I kept saying. No one, they didn't care. They were like, why are you counting steps? Who are you? The, the, the head step counter?

Producer: I, I'm just amazed that you were able to count the steps. This is counter 60. That's more than I ever assumed. I don't know you in math, but it's more than I thought that you'd be able to count.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, me too, Bumper Guy. You just got zinged by a frog named a producer. How does that feel? Well, anyway, but who cares about this story? You were telling us about how you had fun at a show. Why are you telling us about the bad show? Get over the bad show. Talk about the fun show. It makes more sense, right? Okay.

Natty Bumpercar: Yes, fine, fine, fine. But, it's a weird thing, because with comedy, I mean, a lot of things in life, I try not to focus on the highs, and I try not to focus on the lows, because I don't have super control over which one is happening wherever. I, well, maybe I do, if I just am funnier and nicer, and people like me more. No, no, no, hold on. So, I did a show the other day, and I just sometimes, I was just walking around the room, and I was just writing down keywords, like weird things that I saw, whatever. And when I got on stage, from the second I started talking, from the get-go, there was just no material. There was just that stuff, bouncing off of this, off of that, talking to these people, going over to those people. And, like, I had people come in, and they were like, I couldn't breathe. I, you know, I was just like, whoa, you, I don't know, I don't want to hurt anybody. You know, and people were like, you made me cry. And I was like, I don't want you to cry, I want you to have a good time. So, I guess that's good, right?

Unknown: Subtitles by the Amara.org community

Robot: Subtitles by the Amara.org community The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar Also, pretty please subscribe. Wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at nattybumpercar.com

April 22, 2024
Bumperpodcast #434 – Season 3 – Believe

Step into the comedic chaos of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, an uproarious improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners in stitches. In this ridiculous episode, the gang, including Santa, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and Doodle Poodle, finds themselves in a rib-tickling predicament—Natty is nowhere to be found! The episode unfolds with unexpected twists and turns, showcasing the cast’s penchant for tomfoolery.

Listeners are in for a treat as the search for Natty takes the gang through the whimsical landscapes of Coffee-Can Alley, filled with laughter and merriment. Whether you’re a long-time fan or a newcomer, this episode of the Bumperpodcast is a delightful journey into the world of improvised comedy, where every moment is as unpredictable as it is uproarious. Don’t miss out on the laughter; tune in to discover the comedic magic that unfolds when Santa and the gang wonder, “Where is Natty?” in this entertaining installment of the Bumperpodcast.

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

Podcast: Download | Embed
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About This Episode

In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, the gang discovers that host Natty Bumpercar has been mysteriously absent for months. Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Santa Claus, Aloysius J. Pig, and Doodle Poodle gather to figure out where Natty has gone, as his usual August vacation has extended far longer than expected. The episode features chaotic moments including Doodle Poodle's persistent doodle pitches, an obscene phone call that terrifies Santa, Turkey's brief unwelcome appearance, and Producer accidentally calling the show the "Pump Cast." Just when the group seems stumped, Natty finally arrives with promises of a crazy story to explain his absence.

Memorable Quotes

“Every year it seems to be the same thing, he goes on vacation around August and then he just disappears and this year it's particularly long.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“I like to listen to podcasts and this happens to be one that is in my feed and I can't seem to delete.”
— Santa Claus

“I was trying to say bumper podcast but for some reason it just came out the perkard cast… the pump cast.”
— Producer

Topics: #missinghost #mystery #chaos #phonecalls #friendship #podcasting #comedy #reunion

Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Turkey, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

Full Transcript

Rufus T. Rufus: you know that's that is what i am saying is every year it seems to be the same thing he he around august he goes on vacation and then he just disappears and this year it's particularly long and you know i've got people saying well where's natty natty bumper car who where did he go you know and i don't know what to tell them so yeah i don't know but that's the thing is you see saying uh i we ain't seen him in like a few months and and so it becomes difficult for us too because normally producer won't turn on the podcast equipment without bumper car here because i don't know i guess he got in trouble or whatever no no that's not what it is i didn't get in trouble it's just we have a sign-up sheet it's been there for years and no one ever puts their name on it if you put your name on the sign-up sheet then you can come in and you can record the bump cast you did you just say pump cast what is what is the pump cast is that a new thing that i haven't heard of hello everybody it's me uh rufus to rufus now if i'm hearing proper we have a new show it's title the pump cast now i don't know what it's about necessarily santa how you doing it's good to see you aloysius as always i just know i was trying to say bumper podcast but for some reason it just came out the perkard cast i don't know whatever you say i say i don't know you know i'm behind the scenes i'm just a producer so sometimes it's hard for me to you know get on the mic and talk especially when we haven't done it in so long all right all right relax producer all right you know we were it's fine whatever you said we were just we were just having a little fun all right we're in a little bit of an uncomfortable weird situation here and i think we're all just trying to uh figure out what our

Doodle Poodle: next step is you know hi everybody it's me doodle poodle i think i have a great idea for maybe something that we can do no all right that's fine but you're missing out on all the fun anyone want to take i guess

Rufus T. Rufus: i'll handle this one everybody you're gonna doodle all right that's what you say every time your name is doodle poodle and you come in and you say hey everybody let's make a doodle or like i just made a doodle and then you bark a little bit and then you kind of just disappear you know we all we get it all right doodle poodle but we let we're talking right now we're trying to figure a few things out okay so just you go and do your thing all right i was just gonna say that i was gonna doodle all right everyone don't worry i've turned the microphone off to the poodle boy man over there and we can now get back through the business square one we're going to blue sky a few things maybe you know just uh chitter chatter just kind of see what sticks to the board whatever you know what this real business type stuff really gonna be really serious about everything yes well as i was saying you know i i flew down from the north pole just to check in because you know i go around the world all the time and i i like to listen to podcasts and this happens to be one that you know is in my feed and i can't seem to delete and so i just listen to it all the time but it's it's been empty it hasn't been no updates there's been nothing at all and you know i i i i know natty and i felt like it was important for me just to come and check in and evidently none of you know where he is either yeah i mean when you came in i was like oh this is gonna solve it this is gonna we're gonna solve it and i'm gonna solve it and i'm gonna solve it and to figure it out i mean because usually okay like you said august bumper guy he goes away on vacation he comes back he's all like loosey-goosey look at me i got some sun and you know he takes a couple of weeks off fine fine we've been doing that for a decade now but usually september bing bang boom he's back in but i i what are we in now well now as i understand it i don't have a calendar on me but i think we're right in the middle of rocktober what did he say he said rocktober you know that that's not even a month is it no it's not i'm sorry no i don't know if i blame natty for leaving here wait a minute oh you know we we make a little fun sometimes we say the wrong month but we're pretty okay nice okay people so okay you know sometimes speak for yourself uh so let's let's reset here let's i listen to a podcast and they kept every episode they're like okay point a point b point c and then the next episode they're like well you remember we talked about point a point b and point c and in the next episode they're like we're gonna do a deeper dive on point a and if we get a chance talk a little bit about point b and in every single and it's just like could this have been just one episode like yeah could you dad why are you doing a 10 episode episode podcast when you're saying the same thing over and over and over like and sometimes they say the same thing but they just change a word or two and you're just like what are we doing you know i got i got other things i can be doing i can i could be doing a saduko or a crossword well you know whatever but you know if you only got a couple episodes in you then do that make those two episodes phenomenal okay oh i got off track yes we're trying to do something here we're i came in haven't heard the podcast in a long time and i i look around no natchy bumper car anywhere that i can find and then you all start traipsing in and none of you seem to know where he is either it's been months since we've heard a a fresh brand new podcast and so that's where we are right now now i gotta say santa that was a mighty fine recap that you just did there you know somebody just tuned in and i'm like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry at minute six uh six and a half uh then they're gonna understand exactly where we are in this podcast they're gonna know that uh you came in and then uh you saw that natty bumper car wasn't here and there was no podcast and uh yeah okay i can't remember the rest honestly but i was just having a little fun i'm just having a little fun you just ran out of steam there i mean i you know i gotta say i gotta give you credit that was pretty good but if anyone does the same joke now you're out i can't do it again but very funny rufus i'm i'm i'm dare i say a little bit impressed what whoa who's that answer the phone answer the phone that could be him i don't see where's the telephone at i can hear the ring but i can't see the telephone where is it at exactly everybody calm down i've got it i've got it uh hello bumper podcast let me try again hello bumper podcast there we go you've got the producer here how may i help you um one second i'm going to put you on hold for just a just one moment um yeah so guys i don't know if you heard that in the speakerphone but it's definitely not natty i don't i don't think you know if i was a betting frog i would say all of my money is gone i'm out of here that is not the natty over there any advice what should i ask questions i don't know who this is maybe you should ask who it is does does that make any sense yeah okay sure does to me all right good call good call hold on hold on uh yes uh sorry to have you on hold um thank you again for calling the bumper podcast this is producer and i have the pleasure of knowing who i am speaking to teacher i can't speak to this person this person maybe is, oh, you know, I should, Santa, you should talk to these persons, because you know all the languages, and you know all this stuff, and you're going to have a good conversation, a good rapport, and you're going to be able to talk. Okay. Hold on. I'm going to put it over to you, and. If you could not, I'd appreciate it. Yes, I understand. Yes. Which I don't want. No, I think you'll do fine. I don't want. Okay, one second. Okay, yes, Bumper Podcast again, producer. Sorry for having you on hold twice in one call. I'm just going to patch you through over to someone who will be able to help you. Yes, hello there. It's me, Santa Claus. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you for giving us a call right in the middle of some very important. Oh, I didn't know it was going to be that kind of a show. Is this still a children's show, isn't it? My word. Just hold. What's that? I just have to put you on hold for just one second. Thank you so much for. Yes. Oh, my word. That was absolutely obscene. That was too much for me. I'm sweating a little bit. Can producer have a good idea? If you want to, perhaps you just. Just hang up the phone. That's what you do. I didn't want to say it, but yes. Just go ahead and hang it up. And next. We'll let it go to voicemail. Next time. Okay. I think this is a very good plan that we have. All right. Now, I feel like I can breathe again. As a lawyer, I didn't want to say anything untoward. You were scared, huh? Yes, you are correct. I was terrified of that phone call. I'm not going to lie, Aloysius. You know, on that note, and this is just for everybody else in the room, because I'm fine now, obviously. Can you just maybe just pick up the line? Let's just make sure it's clear. Let's just make sure we get a good dial tone. Okay. It's here. Clean line. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Turkey: Hey everybody. It's me.

Rufus T. Rufus: Ah boy.

Turkey: Hi, Aloysius. Wait, are we all gathered here? To figure out where the bumper podcast has been? Where do all these bumper cars sit? Get out, get out.

Rufus T. Rufus: Get out, get out, get out. Well, try, try again. You don't open it. What if it's Mr. Phone Call? Hello? No, open the door quickly. I believe that to be Natty.

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, hey, everybody. I'm so glad you're all here, all together. I'm so sorry that I've been gone for so long and we haven't had any podcast episodes, but holy cow, do I ever have a crazy story to tell you? The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded on the podcast's YouTube channel, and is supported, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Robot: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the Non-Productive Network is distributed under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial no-derivatives license. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

Doodle Poodle: Thank you for listening to the Non-Productive Network.

November 27, 2023