Tag: podcast

  • Bumperpodcast #444 – Season 3 – Characters

    Bumperpodcast #444 – Season 3 – Characters

    Join the uproarious fun in Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, the top-rated improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners in stitches. In this laugh-out-loud episode, A bunch of random people sneak into the studio and record a whole bunch of nothing. As the gang navigates this confusing and comical conundrum, their quick wit and dynamic interactions deliver endless entertainment.

    Listeners are in for a treat as the characters dive into absurd scenarios, blending the sweet and the surgical in ways only the Bumperpodcast can. The episode promises a delightful mix of spontaneity and humor, showcasing the unique charm and chemistry of Coffee-Can Alley’s most beloved residents. Tune in to this side-splitting episode and join the fun as Natty and the crew bring their trademark humor to the most unexpected topics. Don’t miss out on the comedy gold—hit play and enjoy the Bumperpodcast!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

    Podcast: Download | Embed

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    Transcription

    Natty Bumpercar 0:00
    I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.

    And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.

    Outro 12:42
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    About This Episode

    In episode #444 of the Bumperpodcast, chaos erupts when Natty Bumpercar and his friends apparently break into the studio and start recording without permission. Security guard Rufus T. Rufus (nicknamed "Lighthouse") discovers them mid-recording and demands to know who they are and why they're there. What follows is a hilariously circular conversation involving Doodle Poodle, Aloysius J. Pig, and Natty as they try to explain themselves while simultaneously getting distracted by grammatical debates, the origin of nicknames, and whether certain words are appropriate to use. The episode showcases the show's signature improvisational style as the characters talk in circles, interrupt each other, and turn a simple confrontation into a absurdist comedy of miscommunication.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm also not sure why you decided to hit record and start recording, however, this is the studio inside of Hellfire Headquarters inside of Coffee Can Alley, where Natty Bumpercar lives and records the Bumper Podcast. So, again, I ask you, why are you here?”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “I've never had a nickname growing up, you know. I always wanted one, but I kind of knew that you can't just, like, give yourself a nickname. You, people have to give it to you.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “The reason we call you Lighthouse is cause you're big and tall, right? And you're always flashing your flashlight all around… And we know that if we see Lighthouse that we're like a safe harbor.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #miscommunication #nicknames #security #studiointrusion #grammar #improvisation #confusion

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysius J. Pig, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: so here's the the thing here's the the thing here's the thing that i've been wanting to talk about for a long time why don't you just get on in there and talk about it then because it seems like it's your chance to talk about it so why don't you just get on in there and just start talking about it if you want to talk about it well if you insist i guess i will talk about it because to me it's been something i've been thinking about for my long time and this is something i just want to get off my mind and off of my chest and off my ass because i just been caring about for so long yes exactly here's the thing everybody out here is looking to you now to drive this episode you see you're the first one who talked and so you've laid the groundwork as it were for the whole episode so whatever it is that you want to say please get on what we're supposed to talk about what we're not supposed to talk about it's just like it just appeared it came in here stop telling us what to do but i don't know what you're supposed to do either so i'm not going to tell you what you're supposed to do listen here my clitter clatter little friend i'm the one who's in here to give it a little bit of structure a little bit of control so are you in or are you out are you with me or are you again me

    Doodle Poodle: no i'm not so sure exactly if i'm would You mean again, again, you, over you, or to you, or from, from, from, from, from, from, from to you, or either or, or either and, or, please don't get mad at us, we're just trying to figure this whole thing out.

    Natty Bumpercar: So, neither, neither, nor, we, I don't tell you the truth, I don't remember what I was wanting to talk about, you know, with everything, and so if that screws everything up, I don't feel like I should be the one having to take responsibility for everything, because I don't, you know, I just sat down here and started talking, you know, all y'all been talking about. You're more than me, so am I the one who all of a sudden has to take control of this?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, I'm the one who's going to actually be taking control of this, um, I'm not sure how you got into the studio, I'm also not sure why you decided to hit record and start recording, however, this is the studio inside of Hellfire. Headquarters inside of Coffee Can Alley, where Natty Bumpercar lives and records the Bumper Podcast. So, again, I ask you, why are you here?

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, now, I don't feel like I need to answer to you, because I don't even know who you are, but this is, we came into this room on an internet… …computation, and I was just going to sit and sit, come in here and do your thing, and so we came in, we pushed play and record, and then we started doing our thing, but, you know, I don't, we don't really have a thing as a problem, and so we just kind of jibber-jabbered a little bit, and I don't, you know, I just don't know what's going on. Speak for yourself, sir, I came in here with a plan, an absolute plan, and I know exactly how to achieve… …my plan, and I know exactly what I will be doing each step incrementally, moving my plan forward, if not for this giant oaf, my plan probably would have already begun.

    Rufus T. Rufus: All right, sir, I don't know who you're calling an oaf.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yes, I was, I was speaking about you, Egg, when I, uh…

    Rufus T. Rufus: Okay, I kind of figured that you were talking about… …me, because you seem to know everyone else in the room, and you did look at me when you said it, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure, and, um, just, you know, I am a tall guy, like, I, you know, I'm large, but that's why I'm running security here, and just, just because I'm big doesn't mean that I'm thick-skinned, or invulnerable to insults, all right, I'm just a person here doing my job, and, you know, I walk into a room… room there's people in there that i've never seen and and and i feel like i'm just being uh objectified and mocked and i'm just trying to put food on the table for my family and and and i i did not come here to be treated like that well i didn't come in here to see nobody like that either

    Natty Bumpercar: because i didn't want nobody to feel bad i was just following along here with all these friends of mine we just came in here and we just wanted to hear of course we wanted to do some recording to just make a podcast so i apologize myself because you're just a family man you're just coming in here you're just trying your hardest you don't know us we don't know you you don't know how we got in here and so i understand completely when you're like who are you you know so i'm just okay with that okay i hope you're okay now too and i hope i'm okay because i don't want any scuffles and duffles and ruffles boys boys boys oh and who exactly are you

    Rufus T. Rufus: yeah i'm the security guard i i saw the light was on and so i came to investigate and then i don't the all these people were here and recording and you know messing with the equipment and uh who exactly are are you is should be my question because i'm uh you know theoretically in charge,eno

    Aloysius J. Pig: okay well i'm do you have a name first off

    Rufus T. Rufus: Pretty sure that i don't have to give you any of my information as i'm the one who works here and you're with these people who have broken in to the studio

    Aloysius J. Pig: Now now now Ha I don't want to start throwing around words like broke into the studio.

    Natty Bumpercar: Now, my English is not as perfect as everyone else's in here. However, when you say throw around a word like I thought it was just going to be break-in or something, but you used the entire sentence. Is that something that is allowed grammatically? If I'm saying if you're going to throw around words like robbery, burglary, what you understand, cheese or whatever, those are words that can be thrown around. But if we're going to come in here and say, oh, this entire cohort of people has come in and are going to be rummaging through the waste bin and probably having some sort of a silly party and using all of the equipment. It's because they got locked out of their, I don't, you know, I just, it's, I just need a clarification on that if you could.

    Aloysius J. Pig: Oh, I can. So here's the thing. You're being, um, what's the word? Pedantic. And that's where you're just kind of focusing in and honing in on the wrong parts of what I'm saying. Which is strange. Which is strange. Because we're supposed to be on the same side. So why would you decide to take time out of my conversation with this gorilla of a gentleman and try to pick apart what I'm, I'm trying to say? I just, in my mind, I just don't understand. If you get my drift.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, I understand what you're saying and what you're putting down. And so I agree with you. And, you know, I'm, I'm thinking, uh, these old things, there's just so much understanding. And I'm just going to scoot on out of here and just, you know, go back to where I went from whence I came. So, uh, it was wonderful seeing everybody. I'm glad I got to talk to everybody. And, uh. Um, uh, hi there, everybody. Hey, Lighthouse, I got your message. What's going on? What's your situation? Who are all these people? This is very strange. You called him Lighthouse, as if that's his name.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, it's more of a nickname. I don't know where it came from. I don't know why they started calling me Lighthouse. But, you know, I just kind of sounded cool. And so I just kind of ran with it. I've never had a nickname growing up, you know. I always wanted one, but I kind of knew that you can't just, like, give yourself a nickname. You, people have to give it to you. Um, problem being, I guess, if it's a, if it's a cool, nice nickname, well, then good for you, right? But if it's kind of not a nice, kind of a mean, uh, nickname, then how do you get rid of it then, you know? Because you can't just walk around and say, like, oh, hey, don't call me that. Because then they're just going to call you that even more. It's just, uh. Guys. It's just. It's just, society is difficult. Can we agree on that? Can we all come together and just agree on that one thing?

    Natty Bumpercar: Bro, how long have you been waiting to get that out? Um, yeah, let's, let's all agree to come together. Okay. Um, the reason we call you Lighthouse is, is cause you're big and tall, right? And you're always, you're flashing your flashlight all around, right? Like a, like a, like a lighthouse. Cause you're looking around, I guess. And, um. And you, you, you, we, we know that if we see Lighthouse that we're like a safe harbor, right? We're in a safe space that you, you know, you're going to be there and around to, uh, protect us and everything. So it's, it's a term of infect, of infect. I didn't say, it's not a term of infection. It's a term of affection, uh, that we call, we call you Lighthouse, you know? So just, I hope you don't mind it. I hope you like it, uh, regardless. Yeah. As you just said. You're kind of stuck with it. So just keep rolling. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Who in the heck are all of these people in here? Well, I'm pretty sure you can't just go around screaming by. You can't say that. I don't think you can say it. Can he say all of these?

    Aloysius J. Pig: I don't, I'm just gonna, I don't know. No, actually, I do not feel like it is appropriate. I do not feel it is nice. It is an old term for people from the hills of like the Appalachian Mountains. And I don't think that you can just walk around and start saying that about people.

    Natty Bumpercar: Actually. That's rude. Well, it's, it's, I understand where you're coming from, but you might not know this, that the word actually is Scotch. He's a Scottish in origin. Wait, are you supposed to be Scottish?

    Producer: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon. . . .

    Unknown: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

  • Bumperpodcast #443 – Season 3 – Sugary

    Bumperpodcast #443 – Season 3 – Sugary

    Join the uproarious fun in Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, the top-rated improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners in stitches. In this laugh-out-loud episode, Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle find themselves in a hilarious debate, trying to figure out whether the show is supposed to be about sugar or surgery. As the gang navigates this confusing and comical conundrum, their quick wit and dynamic interactions deliver endless entertainment.

    Listeners are in for a treat as the characters dive into absurd scenarios, blending the sweet and the surgical in ways only the Bumperpodcast can. The episode promises a delightful mix of spontaneity and humor, showcasing the unique charm and chemistry of Coffee-Can Alley’s most beloved residents. Tune in to this side-splitting episode and join the fun as Natty and the crew bring their trademark humor to the most unexpected topics. Don’t miss out on the comedy gold—hit play and enjoy the Bumperpodcast!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    Transcription

    Natty Bumpercar 0:00
    I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.

    And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.

    Outro 12:42
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    About This Episode

    In episode 443 of the Bumperpodcast, confusion reigns supreme as Rufus T. Rufus questions how Natty Bumpercar can name an episode before recording it. The crew debates whether the show is about "sugary" or "surgery," leading to a hilarious spelling lesson from Aloysious J. Pig. Each character denies needing surgery—Rufus fears hospitals due to generational trauma, Producer explains frogs don't use hospitals, and Doodle Poodle pops in briefly to discuss worms. Robot makes an appearance claiming influencer status. Eventually, Natty reveals the truth: he's having arthroscopic knee surgery, explaining that hope and dreams are the only things holding his knee together. This improvisational comedy showcases the signature chaos and wordplay that makes the Bumperpodcast a delightfully absurd listen.

    Memorable Quotes

    “This is the team that you handpicked? This is the team that you went around the world and you gathered together your squad to make a podcast?”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “I don't have anything holding my knee together. The doctor's like, well, you don't have one of these, you don't have one of those. I said, well, what's keeping me up? He said, hope, dreams. I said, oh, no! I lost those a long time ago!”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We're 11 minutes into this, and we still ain't got no idea about nothing, so could you educate us a little bit?”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    Topics: #surgery #hospitals #medicalprocedures #improvisation #wordplay #healthcare #friendship #podcastmeta-humor

    Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Rufus T. Rufus: well now uh i was looking at the title of the podcast and i found it very interesting that you came up with the title before you even you know record the show and so it makes me wonder like i thought this whole thing was supposed to be uh organic i thought this whole thing was supposed to be improvised but so how do you come up with the name of the show before you even recorded the show if the whole thing is supposed to be made up on the spot now is what i'm at is what i'm at excuse me is what i'm asking you yeah no that makes uh yes so the yes the whole thing is made up on the spot but today um we have a big event happening and so i thought what would be nice would be fun is if we talked about the main event and so i was i was gonna kind of steer it towards that and so normally i don't name the shows before but today i was just like well i know what it's kind of gonna be about so i might as well just go ahead and name it that right yeah so what what i don't know what is it named does anybody it's called sugary what sugary it's gone this episode whatever it is and it just says sugary so i didn't know if it was talking about like uh cereal or you know uh what you know what kind of uh honey and like alternative sweetness maybe for for my iced tea i i know i natty take it away i suppose i just wow you know we're gonna talk about sugar i guess no no no people come on to me and they say you know rufus you don't even need any sugar because it's sweet enough yeah no we're not talking about sugar that's fun that's nice put some more sugar in my teeth yeah okay great it's not we're not talking about sugar but it's in the title there it's hard it's but that's not the title is what i'm saying it's not sugary it's exactly what it says sugary

    Aloysious J. Pig: s-u-g no sorry i'm reading the title i'm sorry don't talk it's s-u-r-g-e-r-y sugary right natty did you like you you went around and you this is the team that you handpicked

    Rufus T. Rufus: this is the team that you went around the world and you you you gathered together your squad to make a podcast a bumper podcast uh and uh i am aloysius jay pig i don't know if we did are we introducing ourselves anymore is that something we still do okay perfect you can call me pig so um s s-u-r-g-e-r-y is uh surgery is what is that's that's what you spelled surgery right let's break it down like the door that clamps surgery okay surgery yeah wait a minute who's who's having surgery am i having surgery i don't i don't know if you're having surgery i don't know if you're having surgery i don't know i certainly hope that i'm not having any kind of surgery i'm afraid of uh of hospitals i don't even like to go to the doctor there's a certain way that it smells in there the lighting is just terrible for me uh and you know there's just a lot of stuff that you know could happen you could you could get lost you know you could uh eat some sort of something you could get lost you know you some bad food you could they could you could get forgotten you can get left there forever that happened to somebody in my family it was my uncle great great great uncle but he went to the hospital and somebody misplaced him and we never ever saw him again and you know that's one of the things i i fear it's way um it's a generational trauma is is is as i anytime i go to the hospital i think that i hope i hold on to the person's hand that i'm with and i said now don't you leave me this is the buddy system and i'm gonna need you to keep me uh in sight at all times and keep me wait a minute now who you al cyrus is so good if you're not having surgery and i certainly

    Aloysious J. Pig: uh hospital studies there's really not a hospital for frogs so much you know you kind of you you're born in the swamp you don't go anywhere to get born and if you get sick you know you just kind of go into the water a little bit and then you come out you feel better and you know if you get hurt you just kind of take a nap and then you you're a frog and so you just kind of wake up and you're like well you know yeah sure i got hurt and everything but uh i feel a lot better you know you just go on a bachelor's day uh i did want to know he was a toad another frog but he had um um wisdom teeth surgery um which he went in for but the the only bad thing that happened to him was that his insurance did not cover any of it and so it put him into a dire financial situation and the whole thing was just

    Rufus T. Rufus: different than just regular tooth law like you got your dentist law obviously you got your orthodontist law which is a whole other subset of the other uh subcategory but uh wisdom teeth are their own kind of special law that i i did dip my toe into a little bit back in in my uh scholar lady days so you just send that toad on over to me and i i i will i will do my best to to make everything all right as i do as i do so now hold on we've eliminated uh myself uh rufus t rufus from getting uh surgery and aloysius you're saying that you're not you're not getting it either perfect all right and uh producer you're saying you also your frogs there's no frog surgery who is at leave anyway well uh so none of us are getting it uh maybe you know i'm i'm hesitant to say their names because sometimes when i say the names they just show up but uh maybe it's doodle poodle or robot i guess it could be hi hi hi everybody it's

    Doodle Poodle: it's me doodle poodle and this is gogtrasil but I haven't been in the podcast studio in so long. I've been busy, though, making some doodles. Hup, hup. So, anyway, no, I haven't been. And last time I went to the doctor, it's because I had worms. Oh, oh. So, I don't think I'm going to go to the hospital for any surgery for any kind of nitty thing. So, it's not me. But thanks for asking about me, and I'm glad to be on the show. And I'm going to go and make some doodles. Maybe I'll doodle a hospital, and I'll doodle some surgery, and I'll doodle some worms, and it'll be the best thing I'll ever doodle.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I am so incredibly sorry that I mentioned, that I said your name. Oh, he's already gone. Okay. Well, lesson learned. Oh, that was a lot to contend with. I think we missed out, though. I think the other one must not have heard his. Oh, for the love of Pete.

    Robot: It's me, honey, everybody. It's me. I'm a robot, and, wow, two weeks in a row, and I am on the Bumper Podcast. I feel like an influencer. I feel like a superstar. I feel like my career is popping off as careers do.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, Aloysius, this is all your fault. Obviously, but no, robot, we … no, you're not an influencer. We were just trying to figure out who's going to be getting surgery. There was some confusion earlier on if the show was about sugary, and it's not. It's about surgery. We went around the horn. We went around the table here. Okay. Okay. everybody, really. We talked to, you know, Aloysius, we talked to a producer, and then we talked to Doodleboodle came by, and now, you know, we talked to you, and you know, I guess we're just not sure exactly. I'm not, and none of us are, so I kind of wonder, Natty, are you going to come back in the room? No, yeah, come on. I know it's crowded in here, but you can come on back in. Is it a typo? Is this the whole show supposed to be about sugar? I know we were saying that it was surgery, and somebody was spelling it, and everything. I think I was, maybe it was at you, Aloysius, and it just don't make no sense. We're 11 minutes into this, and we still ain't got no idea about nothing, so could you educate us a little bit? Can you shed a little bit of your light on the subject? As it were. Yeah, yes. I was waiting for anybody to ask me, because you were all talking to each other. I actually got up and walked out at a point there because nobody even looked my way, and it's me. It's me. It's me. I get to have surgery today. I, um, knee surgery. It's what I thought was orthoscopic surgery, but it's arthroscopic surgery. Arthroscopic surgery? Yes. Where they put a camera in, I don't want to get too graphic, but they put a camera into my knee, and they see what's going on. Um, I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm old. A million years ago, I had knee surgery, because I don't have anything holding my knee together, and the doctor's like, well, you don't have one of these, you don't have one of those. I said, well, what's keeping me up? He said, hope, listen, dreams. I said, oh, no! I lost those a long time ago!

    Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts! See you soon!

    Unknown: Natty Bumpercar. Natty Bumpercar.

  • Bumperpodcast #442 – Season 3 – The Future

    Bumperpodcast #442 – Season 3 – The Future

    Get ready for a laughter-packed adventure in Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, the ultimate improvised comedy podcast that promises non-stop hilarity. Join the beloved characters Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, and Aloysius J. Pig as they tackle the daunting task of managing their podcast. In this uproarious episode, the gang finds themselves grappling with the excitement of new equipment that promises to revolutionize their show, only to discover that no one knows how to use it. Chaos ensues as calamity befalls the crew, and just when things couldn’t get any crazier, Robot makes a surprise appearance, adding to the comedic mayhem. Don’t miss out on the fun—tune in for an unforgettable ride filled with laughter, mishaps, and unexpected twists and turns.

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    Transcription

    Natty Bumpercar 0:00
    I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.

    And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.

    Outro 12:42
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig and the crew struggle to figure out their brand new recording equipment. Producer becomes increasingly flustered as the gang demands he master the shiny new machine on the fly, complete with moving lines, touch screens, and mysterious buttons. Robot makes a surprise return, announcing an upgrade that allows him to charge wirelessly and produce his own power. The conversation spirals into talk about The Court Sandwich Shop and whether they should order lunch during recording. With uneven audio levels, missing pop shields, and everyone getting hungry, this episode captures the hilarious dysfunction of learning new technology while trying to produce a podcast.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It was super crazy quiet. Did you push a button to make that happen? Natty, it sounds like you're in a shoebox now. Is this torturous to the people listening?”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “You come into this studio to record the Bumper Podcast, and you just sit me down, and there's this new thing. Why do we do this? Just let me learn before we record an episode, please.”

    — Producer

    “I can actually just be charged from sitting near a charging station. I guess you could say that I'm the new producer here at the Bumper Podcast.”

    — Robot

    Topics: #technology #newequipment #chaos #sandwiches #food #robots #recording #behindthescenes

    Featuring: Producer, Aloysious J. Pig, Robot, Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Producer: Oh!

    Aloysious J. Pig: Listen to that! Yeah! We have new music! Finally! Makes me happy. Not much makes me happy these days, but that makes me very happy. And also what makes me happy is that you're here and that I'm here. And I have new equipment! Yeah, just… Oh, you told him about the new equipment. Oh, it's like… It's new, it's shiny, it's got all these colors on it, it's got a touch screen, I don't know what we're doing with it, we don't really deserve it, but it's neat, and it's there, and I'm staring at it, and I can't stop staring at it, because there's lines that are moving, there's lines that are going this way, and that way. I mean, this machine, it's got lines that are going this way and that way. Who knew? I never knew, I never thought we'd ever be quite this advanced, you know? I'm looking at… I'm looking at the machine across the way there, and I don't really, I don't trust it so much, but normally we was recording in sort of, I don't know, it seemed like a shoebox that we would just kind of talk at, and I don't know how it worked either, but, you know, I was more comfortable with the kind of, you know, cardboard look of it all, kind of a wood grain, if you will, and now this thing is all shiny and plastic, and I just, I don't know about it. One thing, I just, I don't… Producer, what do you all think about it?

    Producer: Yeah, well, you know, I really like it a lot, but there's, you know, when we don't… I don't know how to work it entirely, and so I can see that I can hear the voices are coming through, and so that it's good, but then I can… I've been listening back, and I can't really… The levels are different, you know, and so I'm trying to, on the fly, learn a little bit, like, on the job, and I'm also trying to kind of, you know, I don't figure this thing out. Like, there's buttons and everything, and it's just a little bit more than I was ready for, you know? Like, yes, like that, for instance. I was not ready for that even a little bit, but then, you know, sound effects, that's great. It's great for me, okay? Yeah, there it is again. There it is again. Perfect, perfect.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I heard the sound effect, but it was super crazy quiet. Like, it was definitely there. I don't know where it came from. Did you push a button to make that happen, or how did it happen exactly? Natty, it sounds like you're in a shoebox now. Now, I mean, like, I know that we're just trying to learn this thing, but is this torturous to the people listening? Oh, yeah, it's like, oh, cool, we got new equipment, and it's just like, well, this is unlistenable. Yeah, now… Aloysius, I think you can agree with me that unlistenable is a very hurtful term. I think it's, you know, very listenable. I mean, you can put it in your ear, ear pods, ear buds, whatever the ear things are, headphones, I'm gonna guess. But, you know, and you can listen to it. It just maybe not sounds so good, but it's still, by the letter of the law, listenable, I would think. I'm not sure if it is listenable, because it's like, I… I can, in my headphones, when I talk, I can hear myself, and I sound great, and I'm like, whoa, this is gonna sound like the greatest thing ever. But then whenever you guys talk, it sounds like you're in a pipe that's in a tunnel that's under a whale. Like, you're very far away, but… But I can hear myself when I talk, so can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you, I can hear me,

    Producer: but everything's just very… You know, guys, this is Producer, by the way. It's a very difficult situation for you to put me into. You come into this studio to record the Bumper Podcast, and then you just sit me down, and there's this new thing. I don't even know what it's gonna do. It's got the cords coming in, it's got the lights going, it's got the little lines going, and it's plugged into the main thing over there, and I see this thing is doing that, and I'm trying to do this thing over there, and it's completely different from anything that I've ever… You know, we don't… This is… Why do we do this? We could have done this so long ago. We could have done it a week ago, two weeks. I don't know. Just let me learn before we record an episode, please.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Listen, yeah, I agree with Producer. I mean, it is kind of fun to see him kind of freak out, because I've never really seen that before. He normally produces over there behind, you know, the buttons and the knobs and everything, and he's, like, making everything do whatever it's supposed to do, and now today, all of a sudden, I think we've finally… We've pushed him over the edge, and I feel a little bit guilty. Not entirely, because, uh, Bumperguy, you were the one who brought this thing in, and, uh, you know, it's kind of your fault, but, uh… Still, I mean, it's got sound effects, so what are we gonna do? Exactly. I think you just made that one work, so good job, Producer. Is there anybody in here that we could ask that would maybe know how this new technology works?

    Robot: Ooh, hi, everybody. It's me, Robot. I heard that there's some new technology. I'm so excited.

    Aloysious J. Pig: No, wait. Who? I thought… Hi… Mm, let's see. Hi, Robot. It's nice to see you. You actually sound like yourself again for the first time in a few years, and that's my first thing. My second thing. Hi, Robot. How did you get here? I was told that you were unplugged. Uh, Producer? Is it… Can we have a sidebar conversation? Can you do that with the new equipment, where maybe just you and I are having a conversation? Is that possible? You know, if you're gonna start talking about sidebar conversations, Natty, that's more of a legal roya type of thing. You know, we have sidebars with the judge. We have sidebars with the prosecution or the defense. You know, whoever it is, a bailiff. I've had a sidebar with a bailiff. One time, I actually went to a sandwich shop to get a sandwich, and, uh… I said, Can y'all put some pickles on my sandwich? And they said, That's over there on the sidebar. And I said, Excuse me? And they said, You know, the fixin's bar. And I said, Wait, before you just said sidebar. And then I looked up, and the sandwich place was actually called The Court. And The Court Sandwich Shop, and the people making the sandwiches, you know, sometimes the sandwich artists, well, these… They said, We'll be the judge of that. That's what the little thing said. How's your sandwich? And I said, Oh, I like… And they said, Hold on a second. We'll be the judge of that. You love your sandwich. And I was just like… I object. It was a whole thing. You know, we gotta go back to that. You ever been down to The Court Sandwich Shop? Yeah, no. I've been there. But I think Natty was trying to… Yes, it's good. I agree. It's fun. It's a great concept. But I think Natty was trying to figure out how to… Why robots here? And he was gonna talk to producer. But it's good to see that even with this new equipment, we can still spiral. We can still spiral into nonsense and not making any sense and lunchtime talk. Because, you know, it's lunchtime somewhere in the universe, I'm assuming. And I am definitely here for it. I'm… We should… Can we call in? Is that something we can do? Can we, like, order first? Order online? Is that something… Producer, can you get the website up?

    Producer: No, I can't. No, I actually cannot get the website up because I'm struggling with this new equipment that you have dropped onto me. No, not… Not literally dropped on me, but just, you know, it's on my desk here. And you said, okay, new equipment, now go. And so I can't do the equipment and also do the website for the sandwich place. And, you know, and also nothing to go back to it. I don't know how robot is here, okay? The plug, I don't even know where the plug is. So it can't be plugged in because I lost the plug a long time ago, okay? This is a lot of my blood right now, you guys. You're really pressuring me a lot, okay?

    Robot: Yeah. So there's no power cord anymore because I got an upgrade. And I can actually just be charged from sitting near a charging station. It just cut the power. It just froze into me. And the more that I walk and I move and I talk, it produces more power. So I'm using energy right now, but I'm also producing power. So I guess, you could say that I'm the new producer here at the Bumper Podcast.

    Aloysious J. Pig: No, no, no, robot. I get it. You can make power somehow. I don't really actually understand that, but it's great to see you. Maybe producer is the producer. I get it. You're making power. Good for you. I guess we don't have a pop shield anymore because I'm hearing a lot of puh, puh, puh, puh, puh is happening. But I think that's the least of our problems. I think the main problem right now is what we're going to have for lunch. That's always really the top of the problem. And then also, did this episode even record? Like, do you know, producer?

    Producer: I don't know. Not you. Producer, producer. No, he's talking to me, robot. So you are still robot. I am still producer. That is still Natty. That is Aloysius J. Pig over there. And then I think we have Rufus T. Rufus. Rufus, that is Natty. You can't get to our website from that. That's just a newspaper. Oh, my goodness. This is just really all falling apart. I think maybe everyone's getting a little hungry. We should have the food delivered, I think, before the show, but then it would be a distraction, maybe just during or after, because during they would ring the bell and it would be very confusing for everyone. We just have a lot of stuff to figure out, I think.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, I agree, because… Well, the problem is I think everybody's a little hungry, so maybe everyone should have a nice little snack before we come into the studio, before we start recording the Bumper Podcast. That should be the first thing. Have a little snack. You know, whatever it is. An apple, that's a great snack. An orange? No, I can't. I don't know if you heard, Robot, but I can't eat oranges anymore, or else I will explode.

    Robot: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Do you worry that you're going to get scurvy?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Natty, am I allowed to quit this show? Is that something I can do, just walk away? Believe me, Aloysius, I've been trying for years and it's in the contract. We're locked in forever.

    Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    Unknown: Bye-bye.

  • Bumperpodcast #441 – Season 3 – Better than better

    Bumperpodcast #441 – Season 3 – Better than better

    Natty Bumpercar is finally feeling better. So tune in for an unforgettable comedic experience that will leave you in stitches and craving more. Don’t miss out—hit play and join Natty Bumpercar on his comedic journey through the ups and downs of life in Coffee-Can Alley!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    Transcription

    Natty Bumpercar 0:00
    I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.

    And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.

    Outro 12:42
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    About This Episode

    In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar addresses listener concerns about his mysterious absence after an episode titled "I Died a Little Bit." Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, and Producer reveal their original plan for a confusing series of episodes that never quite materialized. The conversation takes a wild turn when Aloysious proposes the concept of an "upside-down dentist," which the gang decides could be their million-dollar idea. Natty shares stories from his recent comedy shows, including a disastrous performance after eating a stack of pancakes and climbing 60 steps, contrasted with other shows where audiences couldn't stop laughing. The episode perfectly captures the improvisational chaos and genuine friendship that makes Bumperpodcast a unique comedy experience.

    Memorable Quotes

    “You listen to this podcast, and you're immediately like, hell, I understand. You know what? I can't be worse than that.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I've heard people say that they'd rather go to the upside-down dentist. Then listen to the show, which I didn't even know an upside dentist was a thing.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “Do not eat a giant stack of pancakes before trying to go on stage at a big show and try to entertain people.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #comedy #podcasting #dentistry #pancakes #performancestories #friendship #entrepreneurship #behindthescenes

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: it was pointed out to me by someone who listens to the show that you're not allowed i'm not allowed to record and put out an episode that said the title was i died a little bit and then not put out another episode for a long long time they were like what are you doing you can't put out there that you died a little bit and then disappear it's not right it's not fair i mean you know like all your silly characters they haven't even been on the show with you and you know who knows how long who knows how many episodes is this is this whole thing just

    Aloysious J. Pig: falling apart or like what is even going on let me tell you what is going on hello everybody it's me aloicious jay pig hey i i missed you it's good to see you and hear you and see you hi yeah hi hi okay here's the thing bumper guy and everybody i'm just gonna pull the curtain back a little bit bump we've seen each other okay you know we had a whole plan with the with the show well you know where's bumper guy you know we've done it a few times i guess but this was a little bit different you know and then uh so me and rufus and producer we got together and we we're talking you know and we're like all right bubble guy you're gonna go over there we're gonna record our own episodes and then you'll come in and you'll do yours and back and forth until it gets closer and closer and more confusing and uh then um you know it would all it would culminate

    Rufus T. Rufus: i believe the word now yeah i believe that's the word that we used uh when we were kind of uh building out a schedule it's kind of a little bit of a skeleton idea of uh a team of people who worked together and everything that was going on at the time you're not talking about race crimes science and the trend of racing you know there was you knowเว isto is there's a template of what we were trying to think about doing is you know uh so little confusion have a little fun where you know he's not his daddy's where's everybody and we're like where's natty and back and forth and you know how we do and then there was something i don't know so we hadn't really figured it out because you know we like to play it off the cuff a little bit but it was gonna be funny that i can guarantee you ま

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, I mean, if not funny, then at least ridiculous. I think that's the one thing that this podcast can always guarantee that it's going to deliver. I was recently at a meeting for a bunch of radio people, and we were talking about the different stuff, and somebody was nervous. They were like, oh, I don't know what to put out. I don't know what to make. What will people think? And I kind of raised my hand, and I was like, hey, I've been doing a podcast for a million years at this point. You should listen to it, and it will immediately assuage any fears that you may have about recording something or doing something or structure or, you know, desire to be good. And, you know, any of these things, you listen to this podcast, and you're immediately like, hell, I understand. You know what? I can't be worse than that.

    Producer: Yes, Natalie, I hope that you're referring to not really the show production, because I am the producer, and it makes me kind of nervous when you're saying, oh, it's a bad show. Oh, it's unlistenable. Oh, everybody doesn't like it. Like, no one has ever made it through an entire episode. You know what I'm saying. But it hurts my feelings. It hurts my feelings. It hurts my feelings.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, oh, I got stuck there for a second. I agree, producer. You know, I've heard people say things like, this podcast is unlistenable. It's unattractive. Ungood is a word that I heard. I said, I'm not even sure if that is a word that you're using. I've heard people say it's despicable, which I don't know if I agree with. Uh, one bit. Uh, just, I've heard people say a lot of things.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, I, I, hold on, I do. Exactly. Yeah, so I, I, I mean, I listen. I got my ears to the street so that I can hear the beats of what everybody's saying, if it's nice or if it's sweet. If it ain't, that's okay. That's, I'm just, all right. Sometimes I bust into rhymes. I do that. It's what I, that's what I do. But, like, I've heard people say that they'd rather, uh, go to the upside-down dentist. Then, then, then, then listen to the show, which I didn't even know an upside dentist was a thing. But it does, I guess, it might be easier to get to the teeth that are on the top. Like, I never understand when the dentist is in there, and they're cleaning and cleaning. You know, it's gonna be easier to hit the teeth on the bottom. So, why don't they just, like, flip your chair upside down, and then they can clean the top ones as if they were the bottom ones. Yeah. And, and, and, you know, I think it would just be a better situation. I agree.

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't agree. Well, hold on. I don't agree with all of the mean things that you were all saying, that other people were saying about the podcast. That, that I do not agree with. But I, I do like your idea about the upside-down dentist. I think the problem being, it might make people uncomfortable or dizzy if they're flipped upside-down. Um, so that's gonna be an issue that we'll have to work through. But I think, you know, just for a basic idea, just for the beginning of an idea, Uh, Rufus, if you could possibly go and file the paperwork, I think that this is probably going to be our bazillion-dollar idea.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, well, Natty, uh, I, you know what, for once, I actually agree with you. Like, I, I didn't agree with the whole shenanigans of disappearing and then, uh, you know, that. Because it, it's been done before and done much better, if I may say so myself. But, but, but, uh, what I do agree with you on. Of course, is the prospect, is the idea, is the inclination of making a little bit of a donation into my wallet. That's a cash donation, if you catch my drift. So I'm just gonna scoot on out of here. It's fun talking with everybody. And I'm gonna make my way, uh, to my office. And, well, I got the papers, and I'm gonna file the papers. And, uh, well, you know, hopefully, we'll, we'll hear, we'll hear the cash register start, uh, jingling. All right. Uh, hold on. All right, then. Oh, okay.

    Aloysious J. Pig: You know what's always strange to me? Thanks, thanks, Rufus. Just, if you want to go, you can just, you can stand up and walk out of the room. Now, I don't know if anyone's really even gonna notice. Uh, I, I know, I get it. It's polite to, to tell everybody. But he, he, he, he was, he left the podcast like he was leaving a voicemail. Like, he's just kind of like, all right, I guess I'll be seeing you soon. You know, that kind of thing. I guess that's. Part of his, uh, his hospitality, or whatever it is. Um, anyway, all right, yeah, go file those papers, buddy. We're gonna do this. This is, we haven't done a podcast episode in a long time, and it seems like pretty soon we ain't gonna even need to. We ain't gonna have time to do it, because we're gonna be diving into our pool of upside dentist money. Can't wait. Oh, boy. Money, money, money.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, it's just, like. I do think it's a good idea, and I think maybe I did this, too, and I apologize to everyone who's listening. We, we don't do things just for money. Money is not the end-all, be-all. Okay? Like, I think a lot of people might be helped by the upside dentist. I think, you know, it's gonna do some good in the world. And, you know, we're not completely driven by, by money. Like, the other day, I had a show, and I've been having so many shows lately. I figured it out. I've had eight shows in the last two weeks. That's a lot of shows, and it's phenomenal, and I love it, and it's wonderful. And I hope that it continues, because I've been having a really good time. Well, I had a really good time at, let me think. The first four shows were all wonderful. The next two shows, they hurt me. They made, they made me feel pain, because I didn't connect with the crowd. And, uh. So, that's kind of my fault. Also, this, the one of those shows, this, I think it was the first one, I had gone out to eat before, right before the show, and had eaten a stack of pancakes. I really have been loving pancakes lately. Don't know what it is about the pancakes, but they're just so good, and they're everything that my little body wants. But, I learned very quickly, and very real, do not eat a giant stack of pancakes. Before trying to go on stage, uh, at a, at a big show, and try to entertain people. Because, all your body's going to be doing is trying to metabolize, and trying to, um, just absorb the brick of, of batter that you have, uh, put inside yourself. And, not even that, not even just the brick of batter, but there's also all the sugar from the, uh, the syrup. And, uh. Just come on. I, I actually, I started to go into a, um, not a sugar coma, but it, I mean, I, I could feel myself nodding off. I started to fall asleep a little, and I was like, I, I gotta, I gotta go, I gotta go get me a Coke. And, so I had to go down, and when I went down, I found out this venue, this place, there were 60 steps. There were, like, several stairwells for me to get from where the show was, down to the concession bar, and then… Uh, on the way back up, well, on the way down, I noticed, I was just like, this is insane. How many steps is this? And, so on the way up, I, I counted them, and it was 60. And, um, you know, I like to, a lot of times, try to talk about things that are happening right there. Try to talk about things that are in the room. It just, it makes my brain happy. And, uh, so, and it helps me to get into material. And, that night, I tried to do that, and, uh, I think I started my set off, and I was just like, 60 steps? You know? We're gonna have to carry you back down. I don't know. It was silly. It was silly. 60 steps, I kept saying. No one, they didn't care. They were like, why are you counting steps? Who are you? The, the, the head step counter?

    Producer: I, I'm just amazed that you were able to count the steps. This is counter 60. That's more than I ever assumed. I don't know you in math, but it's more than I thought that you'd be able to count.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, me too, Bumper Guy. You just got zinged by a frog named a producer. How does that feel? Well, anyway, but who cares about this story? You were telling us about how you had fun at a show. Why are you telling us about the bad show? Get over the bad show. Talk about the fun show. It makes more sense, right? Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yes, fine, fine, fine. But, it's a weird thing, because with comedy, I mean, a lot of things in life, I try not to focus on the highs, and I try not to focus on the lows, because I don't have super control over which one is happening wherever. I, well, maybe I do, if I just am funnier and nicer, and people like me more. No, no, no, hold on. So, I did a show the other day, and I just sometimes, I was just walking around the room, and I was just writing down keywords, like weird things that I saw, whatever. And when I got on stage, from the second I started talking, from the get-go, there was just no material. There was just that stuff, bouncing off of this, off of that, talking to these people, going over to those people. And, like, I had people come in, and they were like, I couldn't breathe. I, you know, I was just like, whoa, you, I don't know, I don't want to hurt anybody. You know, and people were like, you made me cry. And I was like, I don't want you to cry, I want you to have a good time. So, I guess that's good, right?

    Unknown: Subtitles by the Amara.org community

    Robot: Subtitles by the Amara.org community The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar Also, pretty please subscribe. Wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at nattybumpercar.com

  • Bumperpodcast #440 – Season 3 – I DIED A LITTLE BIT

    Bumperpodcast #440 – Season 3 – I DIED A LITTLE BIT

    Dive into the quirky world of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, a side-splitting improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners on the edge of their seats. Join the irrepressible Natty Bumpercar as he shares a hilariously harrowing tale of a scary medical mishap. With his trademark wit and charm, Natty takes you on a rollercoaster ride of laughter and absurdity, offering a unique blend of humor and heart in every episode. Tune in for an unforgettable comedic experience that will leave you in stitches and craving more. Don’t miss out—hit play and join Natty Bumpercar on his comedic journey through the ups and downs of life in Coffee-Can Alley!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

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    Transcription

    Natty Bumpercar 0:00
    I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.

    And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.

    Outro 12:42
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    About This Episode

    In this intense and dramatic episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares a harrowing real-life experience from the previous day. After drinking leftover orange juice, Natty suffers a severe allergic reaction that sends him rushing to urgent care and then the emergency room. With his face swollen, breathing compromised, and unable to speak, Natty recounts the frightening 10-hour ordeal with his characteristic humor despite the serious circumstances. He describes the emergency response, medical treatment, and his fears about intubation affecting his voice. The episode takes a personal turn as Natty reflects on being alone at podcast headquarters without his usual cast of characters like Rufus, Producer, Pig, and Doodle Poodle, and ends with plans to see an allergist to determine the exact cause of the reaction.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I saw my face and my lip was gigantic and purple. And my eyes were swollen almost to being shut. And they were bright red.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “My main fear was that they were going to intubate me. What does my voice sound like? Which I use my voice for a lot of things. Talking being one of them.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I used to love weekends. Now it's just like, oh, no, no. Parent, the weekend's coming. Oh, no.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #allergicreaction #emergencyroom #health #personalstory #orangejuice #hospital #medicalemergency #parenting

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: so strange so strange so strange yesterday i kind of died a little bit which is i know a strange way to start a podcast especially the bumper podcast by the way hello everyone this is natty bumper car and this is the bumper podcast um your weekly jump into fun hooray and so let's start it off with uh with that yesterday well first off also i don't know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast i haven't seen pig i haven't seen uh rufus i haven't seen producer and doodle poodle anybody for weeks and i come in ged Kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, do I even need producer? I don't know. I honestly don't know. But that is not the question for today. The question for today is, what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up and I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then one of the kids had left like a little glass of orange juice on the table. And not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I'll just finish that because as a parent, I'm a vulture. And I just go and I finish off whatever the food is that's left around. And then I went upstairs and I was going to go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays, sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That's what it is. I'm so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends. Growing up, I remember, man, I'd be like, oh, I can't wait for the weekend. Everybody's working for the weekend. Here we go. It's Saturday morning. Woo. I'm going to sleep in and then I'm going to do fun stuff. And now it's just like, oh, no, no. Parent, the weekend's coming. The weekend's here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes and I'm tired. But so I got into bed and my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, what is going on, hands? Why are you so itchy? And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, all right, I'll just go, you know, like put some lotion on them. And that'll fix it. It'll fix that. And then I started to feel, and this was happening pretty rapidly. My lip was feeling kind of weird. And I was like, oh, all right, well, let's go check and see. And so I went to the bathroom and I was looking for the lotion. And then I shut the mirror. That's where it is. And I saw my face and my lip was gigantic and purple. And my eyes, like, were swollen almost to being shut. And they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face very swollen, but I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen, and the breathing, the breathing was not good. And so I grabbed my rescue inhaler. And I did that. Just hopefully, I was like, all right, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, all right, calmly, calmly. Let's find the shoes. Let's make sure we have all the stuff, the wallet, the phone, the keys. All right. Where's a jacket? Perfect. Let's go downstairs. Let's get to the car. Let's go to the closest urgent care. And I was doing this all as the everything was getting. Much worse. Like, the breathing was just like. And the, like, the tongue. It was, I don't like tongues. I don't like to talk about tongues. I think they're weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it's supposed to be. And I also, I couldn't talk. And so. Really, just around the corner. I would say maybe three-quarters of a mile away from the house is an urgent care. There's one that's closer, which is a CVS. But I looked on the thing, and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there's two lights in between my house and this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife, and I was just like, hi. Hey, having an allergic reaction. We're going to urgent care. Period. That's all I had time. Then the light turned green. Send. Light green. Off we go to the urgent care. Get to the urgent care. Park. Can't breathe. Like, really can't breathe. Stumble into the place. Lumber into the place. There's no one there. And I look around, and I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, because I couldn't talk. I couldn't speak at all. Like, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who, there's another woman who kind of looked in, and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there, sat me in a chair, and started taking, doing my blood, what is it? Oxygen? Oxygen levels. And the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure and all these things. And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles. Like, ah, what do we do? What do we do? It's Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in. Ah, this is not a good way to start a week. Call the ambulance. Call the ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes. But it tipped them about, I want to say, eight minutes. I don't know. Pretty sure I could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there, and they were like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do an EpiPen? And they were like, get him on the stretcher. It was all very like, bah, do this, got to do this, got to do that. And they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions, and they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn't say it. And I wrote mine, and then I wrote my wife's number. And then I said, I was trying to say, hold on, do you want me to call my wife? But they couldn't understand it because it came out like this. And so I took my phone. And they were like, we don't know what you're saying. So I took my phone, and I pressed the, you know, I was like, call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And, you know, when you get that call, it's scary. And so she, you know, was talking to him about the situation, what was going on. Should she come back? And I was like, no, I got this, you know. And then I get whisked. And then I went to the ambulance, and they put an IV in me, and then it's Benadryl. And then things start to calm down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the EpiPen or not. And an EpiPen is like, the guy was telling me about it, and I wish he wouldn't have. It's a tube with a giant needle. He said giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like whatever. And it's what they do when, I guess, you're going into anaphylaxis. Which is not a good thing. So they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room, because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I still somehow was getting oxygen, even though the breathing was just like very rapid. And we got to the emergency room. I'm on the thing, and then they get me in there, and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And, you know, I have all this oxygen. I'm plugged in. I've got tubes. I've got things on my fingers. It was just a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. Because the swelling wouldn't go down. Like it was very slow. Like my face would get a little bit better. And I realized at about like 3 o'clock that I hadn't eaten anything since. It was pretty much 5 o'clock the last day. And I was just like, please have some food. And they were like, what? And that's because everybody was like, what? What are you saying? What? And I was like, give me some food. And they were like, oh, food. We have tuna sandwiches. And I was like, no. Nothing is happening. And then I was just like, I didn't want apple pie or pudding or yogurt. And they were like, ah, applesauce. We can give you applesauce. And I was like, . And I'm texting people updates. This is what's happening. This is where I am. This is what's going on. Yada, yada. I'll give you updates as I have them. Yeah. And one of the annoying things was I couldn't go to the bathroom because I had all these things tied into me. But eventually, I was just like, I hurt myself. I have to use the bathroom. And they were like, OK, hold on. We'll unclick you. Unclick, unclick, unclick. And she's like, OK, the door's right down there. And I started to walk out of the room. And they asked me if I could. And I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room. They had forgotten to unplug a major thing. And it knocked me back. And the equipment almost fell over. So everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp? Is everything OK? And I was just like . And they were like, oh, we're sorry. And then I used the bathroom. And then a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was OK. And I could talk . And they were like, OK, you seem good. I was like, OK. Called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I, yeah. I was better now. I was given all kinds of medicine. I'm going to see an allergist to see what happened. And because it was very random. And the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice. Because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle. And it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching. And it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate are some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day. Pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe. Because then my fear was, well, what does my voice sound like? Like how is this going to impact how my voice sounds? Which I use my voice for a lot of things. Talking being one of them. But now it's all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.

    Producer: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias. Or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at Headquarters in Coffee Camp. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/. Also, you can follow me on Instagram. You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon. This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive Producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the Non-Productive Network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives License. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com/. For more information, visit non-productive.com/.

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    Unknown: Thank you