Tag: Oddcast

  • Bumperpodcast #144 – Under Thumb

    Bumperpodcast #144 – Under Thumb

    Bumpercar kindly asks the Universe to “Step off, Back away and Move on.” – mostly because he is tired of being mushed under the Universes icky thumb.

    How you ever been mushed under a thumb? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we can help!

    We love to help!!!

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 144, host Natty Bumpercar shares his feelings about the week-long gap between podcast episodes, confessing that he pines away counting down the days. Natty gets emotional discussing how the universe feels like it's pushing down on him with its metaphorical thumb, leading to a heartfelt plea for personal space. To cope with feeling overwhelmed, he plans to eat Cinnamon the Horse's oats for extra oatiness and drink a beverage with awesome in it. This introspective and humorous episode showcases Natty's signature rambling comedy style as he contemplates running either the show or the ship after a recent promotion.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I sit in the corner and I look at the calendar and I just cross off days. There goes one day and then I sigh really loud and really long.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm gonna eat a bowl of cinnamon the horse's oats this morning because I need to be a little bit more oaty.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Step off back away move on. Personal space is what I'm saying universe.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #personalspace #emotions #breakfast #universe #missingfriends #self-care #comedy #introspection

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: holy beans and rice and other things that go with beans and rice ladies and gentlemen it's me natty bumper car and it's the bumper podcast what are you doing how's it going i missed you i mean i'm starting to think maybe daily maybe two three times a day we need to have bumper podcasts because here's the thing seven days in between them here's what starts to happen i start to pine i do i sit in the corner and i look at the calendar and i just cross off days there goes one day and then i sigh really loud and really long just like there goes two days and then by like day three or four i'm just a pile of uh mush just on the floor so sad you guys don't want to see a sad bumper car there's nothing going on

    Unknown: about a sad bumper car it's only sad i i hope i i i'm sorry i just it's really really emotional right now there's a lot of stuff going on

    Natty Bumpercar: feels like you ever wake up bumper podcast and feel like the entire universe has its thumb resting right down upon you kind of hard like it's pushing you down which is bad enough right you got a thumb on you you and then it starts to just mush you back and forth and back and forth come on thumb get up off me what are you doing you know you just write me a note put it on the fridge i always go to the fridge i gotta go to the fridge write me a note i'm gonna see the note maybe give me some bad news there i don't also need you pointing at me or thumbing me as as it were i don't need you mushing me i'm wush enough i'm mush fine by myself thank you so much you go over there personal space is what i'm saying universe like you've got everything all around you universe let me just have this little bumper car space right here step off back away move on step off back away move on am i right i feel like i'm right that's fine maybe i just need more sleep maybe i just need more fiber i'm actually gonna eat a bowl of uh cinnamon the horse's oats this morning why because i feel like it's gonna make me really oaty and i need to be a little bit more oaty maybe i'm also gonna have a beverage what kind of beverage i don't know something with awesome in it because i need a little bit more awesome to so that i can run the show the ship am i gonna run the show or the ship i forget i recently got a promotion and it's either that i'm gonna run the show or run the ship

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  • Bumperpodcast #143 – Bag of awesome!

    Bumperpodcast #143 – Bag of awesome!

    You just had a bag of awesome delivered directly to your doorstep … Can you even handle it? Yeah, today’s Bumperpodcast has numbers and bees and will rock your world.

    How many bags of awesome do you have? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we love to count!

    Bag of awesome!!!

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 143, host Natty Bumpercar delivers a chaotic and hilarious monologue about prime numbers, terrible math jokes, and an unexpected encounter with a friendly bumblebee. Natty stumbles through explaining what prime numbers are, admits to being terrible at math jokes like "why was six afraid of seven," and then shares a bizarre story about driving to a show. While jamming out to music with his hand out the window, Natty gets painfully "high-fived" by a high-speed bumblebee, nearly causing a wreck. The episode showcases Natty's signature rambling style and ability to find humor in the most random everyday moments.

    Memorable Quotes

    “it's the day that the bumper podcast rolls up into your town into your driveway knocks on your door and gives you a bag of awesome”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “i saw that what it was is there was a bumblebee who would try to give me a high speed high five which is so nice”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #math #primenumbers #driving #music #bumblebees #comedy #storytelling

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: it goes a one two three and what's up bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car it's your favorite day of your life it's your favorite day of the week it's your favorite day of the month it's the day that the bumper podcast rolls up into your town into your driveway knocks on your door and gives you a bag of awesome hey don't walk away you forgot your bag of awesome here it is open it up enjoy it love it live it love it wait that probably was gonna be a good catchphrase but then i kind of fell apart there towards the end love it live it uh enjoy it i don't know we gotta have the marketing department work on that probably we're doing really great right up until we had that flub we had the bag of awesome we're rolling up into your town we counted up to three wait one it goes to one it goes to one two three yeah okay we gotta get up all up to three which is good you know i think uh three is one and three are prime numbers i think i don't really even know what that is but in my head it feels like that's something that's a truth i just told you if you take anything at all away from the bumper podcast today uh then please take prime numbers one and three two might no two is not two is divisible by one obviously wait three is divisible by one so that anyone know what prime numbers are why am i talking about math i don't know anything about math i know that numbers are fun and funny yeah because seven eight nine i wait six oh i don't do good at math number jokes i don't do good at them at all last night i was driving to this show right and i was listening to some music i was like jamming out i had the radio up and they were playing twofers back to numbers i know and i was like singing and i was like i'm driving somewhere i don't know where and i had my hand out of the window and i was doing that like that wave thing where like you're you have your hand flat and it's like doing like a little wave motion like it was a snake in the river like and then all of a sudden it was like bam something hit my hand and i was i almost had a wreck because i was it hurt so bad and it caught me by such a surprise i didn't know what was going on and i was like what in the what just ow like what happened what possibly ow and i was looking around and then i got the i looked in my uh my rear view mirror my rear view to see if i could figure out what had just happened you know meanwhile my hand is like throbbing in pain and then i saw that what it was is there was a bumblebee who would try to give me a high speed high five which is so nice like the place where i was going they literally had the nicest bumblebees that you would ever want to meet ever

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  • Bumperpodcast #142 – Hooray, studio!

    Bumperpodcast #142 – Hooray, studio!

    We are back in the Bumperpodcast Worldwide Studios – today – and Natty Bumpercar couldn’t be happier about it!

    Have you ever come home after a long absence? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we want to help you get home!

    So that you can eat your cookies!!!

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast headquarters studio after 10,000 years away, promising moderately decent audio quality. In this solo episode, Natty displays his newly acquired certificate of expertise from the Mayor of Coffee Can Alley, which declares him an expert in "all things." He recounts a hilarious grocery store encounter where he attempts to use his general expertise certificate to explain produce organization to a confused shopper, with predictably awkward results. The episode showcases Natty's signature rambling humor and his tendency to confidently dispense questionable advice.

    Memorable Quotes

    “If we can strive every week to get even more moderately decent then I think that we are on the right track to go to the stars maybe to the moon.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I have a certificate here… says right here natty bumper car is hereby certified by the mayor of coffee can alley as an expert in all things.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “She said uh you really don't know what you're talking about do you i said me of course not.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #expertise #certificates #groceryshopping #confidence #comedy #soloepisode

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: are well welcome to the bumper podcast it's me a pirate and i'm here to say to you what are you huh what are you doing in here i heard yes get out are you sure yes i'm positive get okay then thank you toodaloo toodaloo pirate hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and for the first time in 10 000 years i'm back in the bumper podcast headquarters studio which means you get to hear something that actually sounds moderately decent moderately decent oh boy that's right robot moderately decent and you know what if we can strive every week to get even more moderately decent then i think that we are on the right track to go to the stars maybe to the moon i don't know which one is closer i'm kind of guessing that the moon is so we want to go further than that we're going to go to the stars i'm going to stick with what i said at first we have potential bumper podcast listeners to go straight past the moon to the stars who's with me who wants to go on this ride i think you do i could see you smiling you didn't have to actually say yes here's the thing bumper podcast i natty bumper car am an expert reader of people's um body language of their physiology i don't know what that is necessarily frenology is that the thing with the bumps on the head i don't know but i'm an expert at it is what i'm trying to tell you i have a certificate here it is right here came in the mail says right here natty bumper car uh is hereby certified by the mayor of coffee can alley as an expert in all things so it's kind of a general uh certificate but that's fine you know you kind of take it for what it is i i applied for uh some more specific certificates but i wasn't able to get them i didn't qualify for them i suppose so i i got this general one and i kind of use it in a lot of different aspects of my life for instance i was in the grocery store just yesterday and i was in the vegetable aisle and there was uh there was a there was a shelf and it had tomatoes and apples and i think it was like a squash uh all kind of mixed together and this woman was she was very confused why are these things together why are they all on the same shelf and i said hold on a second here ma'am i can handle this i am an expert and the reason that they've done this is that these uh fruits and vegetables are simpatico and that they live together nicely and that they will stay fresh longer if they're next to each other the uh the nice lady looked at me kind of askew kind of askance not impressed with my line of jibber jabber and she said uh you really don't know what you're talking about do you i said me of course not

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  • Bumperpodcast #141 – Waffle

    Bumperpodcast #141 – Waffle

    Today on the Bumperpodcast, we get to hear a story about Waffle going to the carnival and some of the silliness that went on there.

    Have you ever had a snack with a puppy? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we’d love the recipe …

    To serve at our party!!!

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 141, host Natty Bumpercar shares a whimsical story about his friend Waffle who goes to the carnival with Butter Pat and Dollop of Syrup. Their day takes an unexpected turn when a rainbow being chased by a puppy causes a chaotic collision on the midway. The mishap leads to an unlikely friendship formed over a shared snack cake, with the group becoming lifelong pen pals. Natty then pivots to discussing social media, proposing that Pinterest users should be called "pen pals" and fantasizing about making money from his brilliant ideas. This episode showcases Natty's signature storytelling style, blending absurdist humor with commentary on modern life and friendship.

    Memorable Quotes

    “The other day I was talking to my friend Waffle and Waffle was telling me that he went to the carnival with his friends Butter Pat and Dollop of Syrup.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “How about the people who you're friends with on Pinterest should be called your pen pals. Write it down, mail it to them, we'll get our back pretty soon.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “My mattress is going to be so far off the ground because of all the dough that's stuffed underneath it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #carnival #friendship #socialmedia #pinterest #storytelling #humor #money #puppies

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast it's natty bumper car me your pal in the place to be listening to the bumper podcast well wait i'm listening to it because i'm saying it i'm listening to myself say it and you're listening to me already having had said it say it what hey the other day i was talking to my friend waffle and waffle was telling me that he went to the carnival with his friends butter pat and dollop of syrup so waffle butter pat dollop of syrup go to the carnival right and they're wandering around the midway they're looking at all the rides they're deciding if they're going to get tickets or not they're doing what you do at a carnival they're getting themselves ready to have the best day ever then all of a sudden around the corner runs this rainbow a little rainbow you there's a rainbow running just running and he's being chased by a puppy you guys the puppy was chasing the rainbow bumped into waffle waffle slips on butter pat falls right into dollop of syrup oh you guys here's the thing the puppy stopped the uh the rainbow never even looked back uh the puppy had a delicious snack well because you asked me well because the puppy the puppy had a delicious snack well because the puppy had a delicious snack actually the reason he's chasing the rainbow is because the rainbow had uh had dropped his snack cake and so the puppy just went ahead and ate the snack cake what you were thinking that maybe the puppy had stopped and eaten waffle butter pat and dollop of syrup no way he actually shared some of the snack cake with those three so they all you know kind of became best of friends and they still to this day are all pen pals which is fun um hey here's look at why hey hey hey look at bumper carter's had an idea social media uh you guys have heard of this thing called pinterest pinterest uh how about the people who you're friends with on pinterest should be called your pen pals write it down mail it to them we'll get our back pretty soon i like it bumper podcast we're getting rich we're making money stacks of money stacks of dough stacks of cash pretty soon i mean my mattress is going to be so far off the ground because of all the dough that's stuffed underneath it what you don't stuff your money in the under your mattress what do you do the mason jar in the ground in the backyard well maybe some of us have backyards with a lot of roots and rocks in them so maybe we can't live the life of luxury that you have with the mason jars i would much rather sleep on a regular mattress with no money

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  • Bumperpodcast #140 – Birthday

    Bumperpodcast #140 – Birthday

    Natty Bumpercar is finally back with an all new Bumperpodcast – in which he talks excitedly about where he has been lately – and more importantly … His birthday!

    Have you ever had a birthday? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com

    Whoop! Whoop!

    About This Episode

    In this solo episode, Natty Bumpercar celebrates his birthday in characteristically chaotic fashion. He enthusiastically lists increasingly absurd birthday treats including cake soup, cake float, cake shake, and the tongue-twisting "cake cocktail." Natty reflects on his recent 850-mile road trip into "the belly of the beast," reveals he's recording on a new device that could send the show into space, and shares mundane yet hilarious life updates including eating four pieces of pizza and taking a shower that required removing an "exoskeleton of dirt" built up from fighting evil hordes. The episode showcases Natty's signature stream-of-consciousness comedy style as he invites listeners to join him on his metaphorical birthday cruise.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm gonna have a cake cocktail a cake cocktail is not going to defeat me no not today because it's my birthday and you won't win”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “It took me a half an hour just to get through the first layer of dirt. I had actually developed an exoskeleton of dirt which I used to fight off the evil hordes”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #birthday #cake #roadtrip #recordingequipment #streamofconsciousness #pizza #celebration

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: what is going on bumper podcast this is natty bumper car you're one you're only you're natty bumper car and i am talking to you on what day is it it's my birthday it's my birthday it's it's it's it's my birthday and i'm excited and i'm thrilled and i'm doing a dance and i'm eating a cupcake and i'm eating some cake and i'm eating some ice cream i'm eating a soda i'm having some juice and i'm gonna have some more cake and i might have cake soup and then i don't know i might have a cake float i might have a cake shake i'm gonna i'm just gonna have a cake gumbo i'm gonna have a cake cake a cake cake i'm gonna do that cakes jello like uh jello with some cake in it sounds gross i'm gonna do it uh parfait yeah uh cake cocktail cake cocktail i was trying to say like shrimp cocktail but then i said cake cake wow that is impossible to say cake cocktail i'm gonna have a cake cocktail a cake cocktail is not going to defeat me no not today because it's my birthday and you won't win you won't you won't do this to me cake cocktail wow that's so hard to say can you say it where have you been bumper podcast i'm so glad that you decided to show up on my birthday because i was sitting here all by myself all alone and no one was here where was i oh my gosh i've been so many places i went um on a drive and it was 850 miles and i was like oh my gosh i've been so many places and i was like into the middle of the country into the belly of the beast and um then i came back and now i'm here and i'm recording this bumper podcast on a new device so we're gonna see how it works out and see how it goes and where we will stop nobody knows but if it works and i am anticipating that it will be excited be very excited because um it could mean i don't know what it could mean the doors could just fly off this this rocket ship and we could be in space and we could run out of air and it might be the best thing that ever happened to us and who knows am i right so uh what else have i been doing i don't know i worked in my backyard that was not exciting i had a piece of pizza okay i had four pieces of pizza because pizza is delicious um i don't know i took a shower last week that was pretty exciting it took me and we're not even joking here a half an hour just to get through the first layer of uh of of dirt i had actually developed an exoskeleton of dirt uh which i used to fight off the evil hordes who were trying to do bad deeds the doers of bad deeds were put down by natty bumper car finally at last at once as forever birthday bumper car who's with me who's going on this cruise who's going on this ship please tell me it's you please

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