Tag: nature

  • Bumperpodcast #397 – Season 2 – Lucky Ducks

    Bumperpodcast #397 – Season 2 – Lucky Ducks



    Natty saves some baby ducklings. It’s truly the sweetest story on the block!

    The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Another story about saving baby animals!

    A feel good story!

    Previous episode!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

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    Natty Bumpercar 0:03
    Hey everybody, it’s me Natty Bumpercar. And and and I want to let you know that we’re only three episodes away from our 400th episode, wait, including today, it might be 297 9899 and then 400 Whoa. And so we want to do something super special for the 400th episode. So what I’ve done is I’ve written a an intro, and it’s like a song type of thing. And I sent it out to a bunch of people. And I was just like, hey, just you can read this or you can sing it or whatever. And here’s the thing. I was wondering if you would want to be part of the intro to if you do, just find me at Natty Bumpercar on Twitter and send me a message. And then I’ll send you the script for the intro. And then I’ll put it all together. And then maybe you can be part of something that’s pretty cool. At least I think it’s pretty cool. I think it’s pretty special. Pretty super special. Just like you. Come on. Let’s do it.

    What’s going on everybody? It’s me. Natty. Natty. Natty. He is Natty Bumpercar. And I’m thrilled to be with you here today because I’ve got an amazing story. A phenomenal story. Something that same

    Aloysius J. Pig 1:23
    Natty, What’s your story? Well, you can get to it soon, I’m sure. But before you get to it, I had a pretty cool story is well,

    Natty Bumpercar 1:31
    that’s great pig. But this like, I really want to share this story. And I kind of thought this was just going to be one of those like Bumpercar tells a story kind of episode.

    Rufus T. Rufus 1:40
    That would be unfortunate and indiscriminate as I also have a couple I actually have several 123 if you have two now that’s a couple. Right? And three, what is that several as several stories that I wanted to impart upon two days. Okay, my podcast.

    Natty Bumpercar 2:00
    I don’t think that I really don’t think we have time because I wanted to help my I have one story and I was super excited about telling it and so maybe can we can I can I just tell my story?

    Aloysius J. Pig 2:13
    Yes. So wait. So now you’re saying that nobody else gets to tell a story. It’s gonna be all you the whole time.

    Rufus T. Rufus 2:20
    You know, I had three scores, and I wanted to tell it as all the truth, truth and if so facto. Okay, think of the word.

    Natty Bumpercar 2:34
    But guys, you’re just speaking gibberish. I just, we’re already, like, almost three minutes in and I want to tell my story. And so how about I’ll tell my story, then pig, you can tell your story. And then Rufus, if we can, you can tell as many stories as you want with the time that we have left.

    Aloysius J. Pig 2:51
    I mean, that seems okay to me is whatever I don’t want even I don’t even want to fire energy.

    Rufus T. Rufus 2:56
    I’m gaining the fuel gauge. Okay, so let’s, let’s proceed.

    Natty Bumpercar 3:00
    Okay, great. So in taking care of time, we had a yard sale last weekend. In the morning, I got up and I moved the car around the corner so that there’ll be more room in the driveway for the stuff. And when I moved the car was like 730 in the morning. There was a mama duck. And she was gray. And she had this bright blue stripe on her. And she was standing there with with with five little ducklings, right right on the corner. And so I got out, but Lily said it was a mother’s a duck. She’s like a mom. There was a mama and five little ducklings and they were standing on the corner.

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:39
    And so your story’s about ducks.

    Natty Bumpercar 3:41
    Yeah, why I don’t like that’s the name of the episode is lucky ducks and so yeah.

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:47
    Okay, whatever I don’t care about and I’ve never read the title. But the thing is, my story is also about ducks.

    Natty Bumpercar 3:54
    Really? Okay, what is yours?

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:56
    Yeah. So I’m walking down by Dr. stream. And there’s some ducks around doing duck things. quacking swimming, whatnot. And all of a sudden this mama doc runs over. She’s got some little baby ducks winner. Right. And she’s freaked out. Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar 4:16
    Oh, okay. Well, this is interesting, because I think I know why she was

    Rufus T. Rufus 4:20
    now hold on one second as your legal representation here not a Rufus T. Rufus and telling you not to say another word. I believe that this is being recorded somehow, somewhere some ways somehow. I did that twice. But so I would say do not implicate yourself if you if you consider yourself happy as a free man,

    Natty Bumpercar 4:43
    obviously happy as a free man. But I’m not going to implicate myself because I didn’t do anything wrong. So pig. I think what happened was, so I saw the ducks, I took their picture, and I was gonna show it to the kids. And then she wandered off right and the little ducklings followed Her but then I still heard this like,

    all around me. It was baby ducks. And I was looking around everywhere. And,

    Aloysius J. Pig 5:13
    and I know and they had fallen into the sewer great Is this what is this true? This is what she was saying she was saying to all the ducks, she was like, ducks, ducks, we gotta go save my babies they fell down into. She didn’t say super great because she said metal hole is what she said.

    Natty Bumpercar 5:31
    Yeah, so that’s exactly what happened. I looked down. And there were I think I counted like six baby tiny little ducklings. And they were stuck down in the sewer. And then I lay down. And I saw I tried to see if I could get my arm in there to get them but there wasn’t enough space. And so then I

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:48
    hold on one second because this was right around when I would have received a phone call woke me up out of my slumber, my beauty sleep. And it was a mama duck and she was honking and squawking about the greats, the metal holes. She said, this town, my babies, I need help. I need representation. And I said, Ma’am, I will be there. Sweet.

    Aloysius J. Pig 6:15
    So I saw her on the phone. When she was she was talking all the ducks to get them to help but nobody could help because you know, where’s it gonna go? And then she said she was on the telephone. And so she must have been talking to you because then she scooped up all her babies. And she ran off. She said, I gotta I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go.

    Natty Bumpercar 6:34
    Don’t go. No, I’m just kidding. So here’s the thing. I called home because I was about a block and a half away. And I was like, here’s a situation. It’s a very serious situation, get over here with the kids. And then while they were coming over, actually called the police. And they sent over three cars to help.

    Rufus T. Rufus 6:58
    That’s interesting to me because I actually met mama duck at the police station and there were no cars there. There wasn’t there was no one that to help us. They said they also said they are often very important business and they would not tell me what was going on.

    Aloysius J. Pig 7:14
    So in and I’m still over by the string with the ducks. And we actually got out some we were going to we were drawn up on paper some plans to see how we could figure out how to get the dogs out and there was we thought your ducks are not great planets. Okay, don’t I’m not besmirching. But from my experience my own personal experience, ducks. Not so great.

    Natty Bumpercar 7:37
    Okay, well, so what I said the police came, and I had, I was able to lift the great, like, maybe a half an inch up, but it was really heavy. And so these guys, they were giant, they were really big. And they came and they, you know, they’re looking at it, they’re like, oh, we’re gonna call the town that you know, they’re gonna have to bring over a tractor to lift this and also and I was just like, Guys, I’m scrawny, I was able to lift it a bit, I think that you can do it. And they got these tools out. And we figured out the physics of where the fulcrum where you should put the thing to pull the things you can get down in there. And it was like a 45 minute ordeal. And the thing was, there were two pipes under the street. There’s one under the whole street, and then one smaller one. And what they would do is they would run back and forth so we had to take off two grades, and they would just ppppp in there would you get him get quieter as they were going under the street. And you’re like oh the ran over that way. And and we even like that we put like a something into the great to kind of like make them make the decision to come closer towards and they finally did. And while we were getting the ducks, we realized, wait, we gotta have somewhere to put these ducks. So I ran home and I got a little container. And it was so funny because my kid he grabbed like, like, a little sauce pot like small and I was like what do you that’s, that’s big enough for one duck. We got 767 ducks over there.

    Rufus T. Rufus 9:09
    I want to make sure he was not grabbing a sauce bought for any other reason. I’m just gonna make a notation here. Okay,

    Aloysius J. Pig 9:17
    real fancy doing okay, your voice got a little grizzled.

    Rufus T. Rufus 9:20
    I’m just worried about the duck lenses all you understand.

    Natty Bumpercar 9:25
    He wasn’t gonna do anything the ducks. But we brought a bigger container. We put them in there. I brought a towel because they kept hopping out Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop. And we eventually got all the ducklings Hooray. It was a big deal. In the process, one of the ducklings had jumped out and run under a bush. And so that was a big deal. And I thought that they had gotten that duck. So then I carried all of them over. The police and I we made a parade across the street. And I went to where I had seen the mama duck kind of go early exit down by the Double string riveting, huh? Yeah, yeah. And so we went there was this house that someone had bought and they were doing work on it so there was no one there. So we went down that driveway and at the end of the driveway It was like this crazy hedge that someone had cut a an entrance into it but it was all it wasn’t like a nice It was like all the draggled and scary and like Narnia and bad times and then we got back there and there’s this like dilapidated shed house and a tree and fall and there was a bridge over the steel was a lot to take this

    Rufus T. Rufus 10:34
    and there was a tree that had fallen. I wonder if I can litigate that situation for them. Did you get the no address for me? Sir?

    Natty Bumpercar 10:42
    Of course I didn’t. I didn’t. That’s not the first thing that I think of it’s not even like the fifth thing I think of if I’m gonna be completely

    Aloysius J. Pig 10:48
    alright settled down bump a guy that’s you don’t need to be mean. All right, just tell you that story.

    Natty Bumpercar 10:52
    Yeah. So all ducks saved. And we I walked over the bridge around ended up getting poison ivy Ray, and went to the edge of the of the little stream. And to the right of us into the leftover series. There was a lot of ducks, I would say about 2030 ducks. And my my family were worried they were like, well, I don’t see the mom do you? And I was like, Listen, I’m sure one of these ducks knows mama duck. And she’s gonna relay the information to where they are to her that you know the babies are here. So we just kind of took the container over and all the ducklings they just hopped out.

    And it was the cute like it was so and then here’s the fun thing. Like they could walk right? But they also they just hopped right in the water and they started swimming. And it was like, just like, I was like, look at you guys with your swimming.

    Aloysius J. Pig 11:49
    All right. So any Did you have any other like, debts your whole story?

    Natty Bumpercar 11:54
    You know? No. So then later in the day after the yard sale, our neighbor had somebody who bought something from us was a blender and she didn’t know how to use a blender and she was asking me how to use the blender. And so I went over and I was trying to show her Now bear in mind she had bought this blender for $3 which in my mind at a yard sale. If you buy something for $3 and you take it away, the transaction is done. I’m not I’m not your tech support. I’m not I don’t have to explain how the blender works. It’s a blender, but I went over to show her. I’m standing on the stairs and I looked down I heard PPP. I looked down and went Oh, and then she looked down and screamed. It was one it was a baby duckling. And when she yelled he ran around the house to move and baby ducklings gonna run really quick and the dogs barking Can you contain them?

    Rufus T. Rufus 12:43
    I am not on doggy duty I cannot those dogs, they are more than I can handle back to you Bumpercar

    Natty Bumpercar 12:51
    So I ran around he kind of fell into this little hole like some stairs so I was able to wrangle him and then I held them close to my heart and he calmed down and then we walked back over across the street through the same place and and I just kind of gently had put him down on the ground and he went PPP down some rocks and then he hopped into the stream and then he just swam away. It was the cutest seller.

    Aloysius J. Pig 13:20
    I think in between those times duck save in one and duck save the dough. I was no longer down at the creek I go 100 take a nap if I’m to be completely honest. And huh so odds are two stories were the same story just from different perspectives

    Rufus T. Rufus 13:36
    here now and and sounds like one of my stores was also tied up as mama duck. And just so you know, we did come back she and I to the correct and we found no babies so she was reunited and I but she was still missing that one. So I hope that he got back to you because that’s that’s that sounds like a beautiful story.

    Natty Bumpercar 14:00
    See, at the beginning of the episode, we were all fighting over who’s gonna tell our stories and it sounds like my story and pig story and Rufus. His story. were all the same. So they were all tied together.

    Aloysius J. Pig 14:09
    I think he had three stories.

    Natty Bumpercar 14:12
    Yeah, yep. Yep. Yep. I was kind of hoping that we managed to avoid that. But sure. Rufus. Do you have other stories?

    Rufus T. Rufus 14:18
    I do. I do. I do. Both of my other stories they really rely on circumnavigate around the grocery store where I went and I was looking for some peanut butter. But I have since discovered that I’ve got a bit of a peanut butter allergy. And then but I do miss very much peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And then I cannot tell you that they have invented a peanut free peanut butter is what it’s called, is it could just be called butter I suppose. But I got it and it’s delicious and just thrilled to be here. back in the saddle back in the peanut butter and jelly sandwich said all right,

    Natty Bumpercar 15:04
    well, I’m thrilled at you. Good job. Um, that makes me happy. So that’s two stories. We’re already running late. So what’s your last story?

    Rufus T. Rufus 15:13
    Well, it all began when I was a child growing up in the woods

    Aloysius J. Pig 15:19
    now the mount can’t do it. Nope, nope. Nope. Any story that starts off when I when I was a kid, I am out maybe other episodes. Yeah, kid.

    Natty Bumpercar 15:28
    We can’t sorry. Rufus That’s weird. Yeah, maybe maybe you can have your own episode coming up at some point, but probably not. We’ll see. Alright, everybody. I hope the little ducklings are listening. We save your lives. Yay.

    Outro 15:56
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous things a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius JPG Rufus t Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar we also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar comm slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    NonPro 17:19
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license please share it but asked before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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  • Bumperpodcast #373 – Count On Me

    Bumperpodcast #373 – Count On Me

    On today’s Bumperpodcast, Natty tries to sing a song, and then he and pig discuss habitats …

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and Aloysius J. Pig discuss the concept of habitats after Pig reveals he's been taking four or five bubble baths a day. Their conversation about whether habitats apply only to animals or also to inanimate objects like cheese and socks gets hilariously derailed when Rufus T. Rufus bursts in to promote his new counting business, "Count On Me." The gang workshops Rufus's questionable theme song before eventually giving up on their original habitat debate. This lighthearted episode features the characters' trademark improvisational humor and tangential conversations that somehow circle back to environmental awareness.

    Memorable Quotes

    “The habitat for cheese is my belly. You do love cheese you do love cheese a lot huh.”

    — Aloysius J. Pig

    “You can count on me, but you can't count on yourself. That's terrible.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “We're polluting our waters. Why would we do that? That's the animal's habitat. Oh, wait a minute. Now we're getting a thing where the habitats are fighting each other.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #habitats #environment #animals #bathing #businessideas #counting #songwriting #nature

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey Aloysius what what are you doing what you doing I'm not whatever you're doing I'm not doing you're singing a song you're singing why are you singing a song that's what we do now but it's not we just talk remember come on man no I'm not gonna because that's not how we operate sing your part I don't have a part fine okay to just talk to the people the way you normally talk to the people okay this hand clapping thing it's weird I don't it's not I mean it was a good beat thanks I'm not gonna lie to you I like it so anything new Aloysius anything you're up to any uh any anything at all nothing I can think of off the top of my head um you know I did I did walk around the uh the yard the other day and I saw um some flowers coming up oh that means spring is gonna happen yeah it means spring is gonna happen yeah I saw some bumblebees oh the sun was up in the sky I took a nap in the hammock haha hammock good one yeah like because you're a pig and it's like a hammock like hey what is what did the pig take a nap in it was a hammock I get it yeah I guess you get it yeah get it so uh that's what I've been up to you know a lot of sleeping a lot of napping uh a bath like four or five times a day bubble bath uh moisturize I don't want to get dry skin uh drinking a lot of water yeah it's good that's healthy you gotta drink you gotta hydrate you gotta stay hydrated you gotta you gotta drink a lot of water I like that you're taking a lot of baths um I was wondering though why our water bill was so high but now I know here's the thing pig if you um just you can just wash your your little hooves your hooves your hooves your hooves no they're hooves your hooves they are hooves come on look at them look at them look at these what are these what are these my hooves those are your hooves um I think maybe that I mean taking a bath once a day is great uh but maybe four times a day that's we're gonna use up all the bubbles uh and it's you know it's not great for the environment the fish needs somewhere to sleep and if you're taking all your baths then the fish aren't gonna have a home so that's that's not nice kind of like the people next to us we had a nice wooded lot and uh somebody came and where all the deer lived there were families and families of deer who would wave at us every morning on their way to work I remember one time the daddy deer he went out he was holding his a cup of deer coffee and he was buying he was picking up his deer newspaper he's he was still wearing his little deer robe and uh I was I was in the driveway and he looked over at me and he just kind of raised his little mug as if to say good morning good morning and then uh but then they took all the woods away and now the deer they've moved on to somewhere else they didn't even leave like a forwarding address so if we get their mail we can we don't even know where to send it so I don't what's the I don't understand the connection okay well yeah the point is I'm saying the deer had a habitat which is where animals live like habitat is is is what you would call an area where things live so for instance uh the habitat for rhinoceros might be uh in Africa right or the habitat for um I'm trying to think of a good example mosquitoes is Florida um the habitat for cheese is my belly ah you do love cheese you do love cheese a lot huh uh so that's like hay's habitat is in my because that's where hay lives right yeah I mean I yes yes yes uh no I think habitat is more for animals and not as much for things so like for instance my sock drawer is not the habitat for my socks I don't think but maybe we should find some sort of an expert that could uh could tell us all this stuff oh no well I say I say I say I heard that you was looking for an expert in something and anytime I hear the word expert I realize that I Rufus T. Rufus am being called to answer some sort of a question because I don't know if you know this but I am not just a lawyer but I am also a whiz at knowledge of things and I'm not just a lawyer but I am also a whiz at knowledge of things and I'm don't know if you wouldn't believe a buncha more easy things than this you know the first thing I do is I talk about you know STEEL and esta and stuff I know all sorts of things if you understand what I'm saying you know he's got a good point there Nattie uh Rufus he one time he I dropped a whole uh box of toothpicks and he looked down and he said 7 14 and I said what is that and he said that's how many toothpicks no are on the floor that's so it's a guess he guessed it doesn't mean okay but he's an expert like counter is what I'm saying he's good at counting no and count on him No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, I… He's not an expert. Did you actually count the toothpicks when you picked them up, or did you just take his word for it? Because he's been known to fib every so often, or all the time. I regret that indubitably, because I never make stuff up. I may twist the truth from here to yonder, but I would never, ever make up a facsimile of the truth. And I do remember that day, Aloysius, that the toothpicks fell, and I counted them immediately on the floor, and I started up a new business on top of my law firm, and it's called Count On Me, because I can count things quickly. So if you have, let's say, a stack of nails, I can look at it, and I'll tell you how many nails you have. So if you have a job, and you know you need 173 nails, I can tell you if you've got 173 nails, or maybe you have 145 nails. That's not enough. You need 173. You can count on me. We have a theme song, too. Hold on one second. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Because you can't count on yourself. But wait. No, you can't. That's terrible. But you can always count. Count on me. Okay. I'm trying to be nice. I'm thrilled that you have your own business, and it's a very specific business where you count things for people. And I'm amazed that people pay you for it. And I'm really impressed that you came up with a theme song, but I don't like in a theme song where you say you can't count on yourself. That doesn't seem very nice at all. I don't like how it… What that says. I think it's just, I think he was just trying to be catchy. Cause it's just like, you can count on me. You can count on, but you can't count on yourself. Yeah. I don't like it either. It's not nice. How about we could switch it up? Let's make that our exercise for today. Let's think of a better way to frame the argument. Not, not that it's an argument. We're not fighting or nothing. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. But you can't count on yourself. Count on yourself. I was going right back to the same thing. Yeah, see, you was going right back cause it's just a natural progression. You can count on me, but why do you need to count on me? Why can't you do it yourself? Maybe you're too busy. Ooh. Busy. Busy. That's it, that's it. Hold on one second. See, you can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Because, or when. It's when you. Aren't too busy. So, you can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. When you get too busy, you can count on me. That sounds much nicer. You know what? I'm glad we workshopped this. I'm glad that we talked this through. I appreciate you guys. And if you ever need to count anything, you know what? You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. See you later, Rufus. Thanks for stopping by. Head on out. We'll see you later. Okay. We'll count on you. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. See you later. That was exciting. He didn't answer. The more exciting part. He didn't answer the question. You like said something and he appeared to give you some sort of knowledge and then he just disappeared, which means he's just kind of gone, which means we don't have to put up with him, which is amazing. Okay. That was a win-win for everything. What were we talking about before he came in here? I don't even remember. I don't even remember. I don't even remember. I don't even know. I think it had something to do with socks, environment, habitats. We were talking about habitats. That's what we were talking about. We were trying to figure out if habitats are just for living things like bears or pigeons, I guess, or if they can be for other things. Like, because I said cheese and then I said socks and you said hay for your sty. So he came, but he was talking about something completely different. And we never got even to ask him a question, and he left. So you know what? I think that we're just going to have to do some research and figure that out ourselves. What is a habitat? Who does it mean? Like, who does it stand for? Does it stand for animate objects, which are like living things or inanimate objects, too, which are like non-living things? Like, for instance, is the habitat for garbage? The, the, the, the landfill? I don't know. I know one place that is definitely not the habitat for garbage. That's the ocean. That's a big problem. We're polluting our waters. Why would we do that? That's the animal's habitat. Oh, wait a minute. Now we're getting a thing where the habitats are fighting each other. The garbage habitat versus the animal habitat. My mind is officially blown. Yeah, I'm going to go take a nap. My head hurts. This is too much thinking. We normally don't think quite this much on the Bumper Podcast. By the way, Natty, tell everybody who's new here, the Bumper Podcast-cateers, to go subscribe and like and rate the podcast because we love doing it, but we love to hear your feedback. And we take all your words very seriously, probably. That's me, Aloysius J. Pig. If you get bored on Facebook. If you go to Facebook. If you go to the official Natty Bumper Car Facebook page, we're going to be doing videos for the time being every day, little 15-minute videos, just to ease your boredom a little bit because, you know, we are kind of stuck inside, and so that'll be a fun thing to do. Maybe we'll learn something. I doubt it. Thanks, Pig. But maybe. It'll be fun. I promise. Good night, everybody. Night, Pig. So, yeah, I'm Natty Bumper Car. I'm a comedian. We make a family-friendly, fun podcast, and we want you to listen to it. You guys who listen, you're the Bumper Podcast Cateers, and I love you. You're awesome. Stay safe. Keep your hands clean. Get a lot of sleep. Drink a lot of water. Only take one bath a day. Okay? Okay. Perfecto. See you on the other side.

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  • Bumperpodcast #351 – Owly

    Bumperpodcast #351 – Owly

    Our house has turned into a zoo! There are so many animals around that I have to call upon help to tell you all about them. One guest gets a bit out of control. That guest

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar attempts to record with some very unconventional guests – including Owly the Owl, Brownie the Rabbit, and special appearance by Emerson. What starts as a discussion about crazy happenings at Natty's house quickly devolves into delightful mayhem as the animals peck at microphones, chase snowballs, and interrupt constantly. Between the interruptions, Natty manages to share stories about the amazing wildlife visiting their backyard, including a baby deer with its mother, a three-foot garden snake dubbed "Snacky Snake," groundhogs, chipmunks, squirrels, and a protective mama robin guarding her nest of blue eggs. It's a hilariously out-of-control episode that proves why people say "never work with kids or animals."

    Memorable Quotes

    “Don't work with kids or animals, they told me. Look at what I do. Kids and animals all day.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Can the snake's name be Snacky? Snacky Snake? Yeah. Oh, buddy, I'm Snacky Snake.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I eat squirrels and bird seed… We should open a restaurant up called uh snb squirrels and birdseed.”

    — Owly

    Topics: #animals #nature #wildlife #backyard #chaos #spring #family

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh well well well hello there bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and i have been gone for a little while because there's been crazy stuff happening here no not a lazy river like the last episode would make you think but extra super duper crazy stuff but i don't feel like i could tell you all about it myself i need somebody to help me tell you about it um oh hi owl how are you good you're good it's so sweet to see you are you enjoying the spring weather yes oh that's so nice what have you been doing all day sleeping you've been sleeping all day wait do you sleep during the day isn't that when people

    Unknown: get stuff done yes but i kind of wake up when it's 10 o'clock at 10 o'clock in the morning or

    Natty Bumpercar: 10 o'clock at night um

    Unknown: um um

    Natty Bumpercar: eight o'clock eight eight o'clock all right all right so you are awake during the day see i had always heard and you can tell me if i'm wrong because you would know that owls are nocturnal is that true but i am not nocturnal you're on not you're de-nocturnal yeah you're oh oh un-nocturnal well so do you sleep at night then yes oh that's cool um where do you sleep you sleep with who who's oliver i'm oliver dad oh oh you're oliver yeah and who's the uh who's the owl his name is owie owly the owl he's a very sweet little owl i wasn't expecting him to be here today are you pecking at the microphone owie yes that's not appropriate at all this is very expensive equipment this is going to come out of your money owlie go get your wallet i don't have any you don't you don't have a wallet well then you're in big trouble you know what i am not taking bird seed to pay for this stuff hey what what owls eat anyway i eat bird seeds oh you do eat bird seed okay well it's good that what was it two weeks ago or last week we we put the bird feeders out and we started putting a lot of stop eating the cord that's gonna wreck the whole pot you are not good guest owlie oh my goodness what are you looking at what are you doing over there you stop looking over there that's not your stuff oh my goodness you're worse than the kids are anyway owlie i'm so glad that you're here because it's a good um way for us to talk about some other crazy things that have been happening around our house for instance have we had some guests at the house recently yes like in the backyard yes who did we see in the backyard uh a baby deer

    Unknown: with his mom and the groundhog oh he saw a groundhog today i only i only saw a squirrel

    Natty Bumpercar: oh you didn't see you didn't what did you see a squirrel oh you saw a squirrel i wanted to get out and eat you wanted to eat the squirrel owlie relax slow your roll buddy i eat squirrels and bird seed squirrels and bird seed all day we should open a restaurant up called uh snb squirrels and birdseed and then when people walk in we'll be like welcome to squirrels and birdseed come um so we had a baby deer and it was maybe like two days old it was a brand new baby deer and uh remember it was laying down in the grass and it couldn't even stand up where are you going you stay over here you don't have to fly away for owlie um and but then we were worried but then its mommy showed up and what did his mommy do um take care yeah she took care of that little baby it was the sweetest thing i've ever seen oh owlie would you stop it focus on the microphone we're only here for a few minutes um and then oh what did we see what was it three days after the baby deer it was long it was skinny it was terrifying remember mommy saw it in the back by the wall oh and then emerson's oh hey emerson's here too emmer well actually what did we see in the backyard a garden snake so i looked it up and i didn't know if it was a garter snake or a garden snake

    Unknown: garden snake

    Natty Bumpercar: listen evidently there's the same there's the same ones there's a gartner g-a-t-n-e-r gart gardener garter i don't know and a garden snake gardener snake i don't know i don't know what kind of snake it was But it was long, and it was brown, and it had little yellow stripes. And I'm originally from Georgia. Don't you turn that off, Allie. I need that on. We have dirty, dirty clothes. Don't work with kids or animals, they told me. Look at what I do. Kids and animals all day. Would you stop pecking? That's Mommy's sweater. Allie, you're not a moth. Good gravy. So we had, Emerson, come talk about the snake, because I feel like you can talk about that.

    Unknown: The snake was skinny and long.

    Natty Bumpercar: But how big was it, do you think?

    Unknown: It was, like, probably three feet.

    Natty Bumpercar: You think it was that big? Yeah. What are you? Oh, hi, bunny rabbit. Let's not stand on the computer.

    Unknown: My name is Brownie.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, your name is Brownie? Hi, Brownie. How are you? Good. You know what? We've seen bunny rabbits in our backyard, too, haven't we? 50 million. 50 million bunny rabbits?

    Unknown: No, 2,000.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. So where did the snake end up going?

    Unknown: In our shed.

    Natty Bumpercar: In the shed. It was very scary. So what did Daddy do to get rid of the snake? Cut the weeds so it can hide. Yep, I got rid of all of the weeds, all of the…

    Unknown: And, hey, there's something where you can, like, just kill them.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, but, see, I wasn't sure if I wanted to kill the snake, because I've read that snakes eat bad pests. Of course, it's this weird thing where, like, it's good to leave, you know, this stuff in the backyard to make a little ecological system.

    Unknown: Does he eat chipmunks?

    Natty Bumpercar: Does he eat chipmunks?

    Unknown: Well, no. No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Who? Who are you talking about, Owly or the snake? I feel like you're talking about Owly. Nah. The snack? Snake! You said snack. Can the snake's name be Snacky? Snacky Snake? Yeah. Oh, buddy, I'm Snacky Snake. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, there is a chipmunk in that. Hey.

    Unknown: Owly is going to stay roundy because he's falling.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, no. Brownie the rabbit is falling, and Owly the owl is racing down to catch him right now. Wonderful of you. So we saw a baby deer. We saw a mama deer. We saw bunny rabbits. We saw a groundhog. We saw chipmunks, squirrels, a snake. We have all kinds. We have robins, blue jays. Cardinals. Cardinals, yeah. Woodpeckers. Those little ones. I don't know what the little good.

    Unknown: Ooh, something's happening to them. Oh, that's a good one. It just turned off.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, it's doing good. Owly's keeping track of the washing machine that's going on right now. We also, in the front of the house, there's a bush, and we have, and I was kind of trimming the bush, trying to make it look nice, and a robin flew out at me, rah, really aggressively. And I looked in the bush, and there was, hold on, let me finish this quick. There was a bird's nest inside. There was a bird's nest inside the bush, and I looked in, and there were three baby blue robin's eggs. So, she was just protecting her nest, which I totally understand, and there were like two or three of them that were flying around. They were angry at me. They were going, squawk, squawk, squawk. Oh, Ollie, can you, what did the baby deer sound like? Because this is so important to me. Can you do it? It's very good. I thought it sounded like this. Ready? Like that? Like that?

    Unknown: Like that? Like that? Like that?

    Natty Bumpercar: It sounds like a steer. It sounds kind of like a steer, doesn't it? I don't know anything about his stairs, though. Uh-oh, what is the, uh, Ollie is now chasing a, uh, so Ollie was attacking a snowball and paused the podcast. You know what? I think, are we done for today? Because this owl is driving me crazy. This owl is driving me bananas. I don't think I can handle this. Would you stop trying to kiss me? you, Owl. I would not like to be kissed by… Are you eating my arm? Jeez, relax, bro.

    Unknown: I'm not a snowball.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, we don't have to throw any snowballs. Okay, well, a snowball was still thrown. Hey, this has been the Bumper Podcast, Talking Baby Animals. Emerson, go upstairs. She's here. It's like we live in a zoo. Would you stop it, Owl? You're disgusting. I was pooping you. Okay, end of story. Say goodbye, Owly. Oh my goodness. Okay.

    Unknown: …

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  • Bumperpodcast #225 – Poison Ivy

    Bumperpodcast #225 – Poison Ivy

    Bumpercar has poison ivy – and – he isn’t dealing with it all that well. As a matter of fact, he’s kind of a basket case about the whole thing.

    How do you do under pressure? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares his miserable experience battling a severe case of poison ivy. After doing yard work, Natty finds himself covered in itchy, painful rashes and desperately tries every remedy he can find online. From Epsom salt baths and oatmeal treatments to joining poison ivy Facebook groups, Natty chronicles his futile attempts to find relief. He educates listeners about urushiol oil, debunks common poison ivy myths, and warns everyone to avoid the three-leaved menace at all costs. This comedic solo episode captures Natty's journey through the stages of grief while dealing with nature's most irritating plant.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It's like a chemical burn is what the internet told me is this uracil chemical has burned my skin and I Always thought that if you pop the blisters that you were gonna spread it, but no evidently That's one of the big myths about poison ivy”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “There were maybe two plants and two plants did this to me who invented poison ivy. Why is it even there? What does it do is it just worthless?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm going through all sorts of stages right now anger denial I don't have it but I do fear please don't get me near the poison ivy anger I hate you poison ivy”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #poisonivy #yardwork #homeremedies #healthstruggles #gardeningmishaps #nature #comedyrant

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Unknown: Oh

    Natty Bumpercar: Guys I've got poison ivy help me. I don't like it. It's the worst thing ever poison ivy poison ivy poison ivy Go away poison ivy poison ivy poison ivy I got it last weekend. I was outside. I was doing yard work and stuff, and it's it's just so unbearable Have you ever had poison ivy? It's so stupid. I just itch everywhere I'm not supposed to scratch the itches and so I just walk around all day I'm in a bad mood, and I can't touch my stupid legs because they itch But my pants are touching my legs and my socks are touching my legs and they make it itch Every time I move and now oh look it's on my elbow. Oh look now. It's next to my hand Take it you can't take it at all Don't get poison ivy Learn from me learn from my mistakes It's the worst there's three leaves. It's urasol. I looked it up on the internet That's the oil that's on the leaves that gets on you, and it could be on your clothes or on your Shoes for like Why don't know where I'm coughing it doesn't affect me coughing. I'm just so I'm so freaked out huh, so this stuff urasol is the oil that's on the plants on the on the leaves of the of the poison ivy plant and It can get on your clothes for three to five years Which then made me freak out cuz I was like wait am I gonna have this for three to five years because I can't do it I can't handle it. I went out I started researching everything I could do I got I took Epsom salt baths Which hey it tasted good, but no it doesn't do anything I took oatmeal baths, but not yummy regular oatmeal like you would think it's called like coagulated or Qualogen or koala koala Steve. I don't know what it is, but it's I maybe it helped I don't know cuz that's the thing you're supposed to take a super super hot bath like as hot as you can take Like you're a lobster going into a pot and I wish I showed I might cuz I put my leg in and I took my Leg out my leg was bright red where it was in the water cuz it was so hot But that makes it itch more that makes it hurt more right so then okay you take your bath with your oatmeal and your Epsom salts or whatever and then you get out and you have to pat dry cuz you can't rub dry because if you rub dry then You might pop the little blisters. It's a bit It's like a chemical burn is what the internet told me is this uracil chemical has burned my skin and I Always thought that if you pop the blisters that you were gonna spread it, but no evidently That's one of the big myths about poison ivy because I'm part of all sorts of poison ivy message boards now And I joined the poison ivy Facebook, and I listened to the song poison ivy Constantly because I need to be reminded of the the True the terrible place that I'm in right now You guys ever had poison ivy. What did you do? I heard if you go to the ocean and you hang out in the water That's good for it because it dries your skin out because that's really all you want to do is dry the skin out So all I've been drinking is diuretics Constantly, I'm just like hey. I'll have some more tea. I guess Give me some more tea over here Hey, give me some soda pop so that I can dry myself out internally and externally I heard you can take you can take baking soda and then I put vinegar on Towels and the first couple of nights I slept with that on my legs and it smelled like Easter everywhere Now we're how many days we're like five days in and it's still all there, and it's bright red. It's like I got stung by a jellyfish I which I've heard you guys Can pee on to make that plane go away? I'm not doing that I can't bring myself to pee on my leg bumper podcast kateers I worry about you because I don't want you to go through what I'm going through right now, which is not pleasant It's poison ivy and the thing is I was in the backyard There were maybe two plants and two plants did this to me who invented poison ivy. Why is it even there? What does it do is it just worthless? I don't like it. I'm going through all sorts of stages right now anger denial I don't have it but I do fear please don't get me near the poison ivy anger I hate you poison ivy there's no joy there I haven't made it there yet except for this I do love this

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  • Bumperpodcast #205: A real ba-noo situation up on the docks.

    Bumperpodcast #205: A real ba-noo situation up on the docks.

    This is by far the most ‘ba-noo’ episode of the Bumperpodcast, ever. There is a dock, a monster, a lottery, winners and losers and much more. There could potentially be a call to the Better Business Bureau, as well. Natty Bumpercar is off.

    Have you ever gone ‘ba-noo’? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar recounts a disastrous vacation experience on a pier where he believes he's being stalked by a terrifying water monster. After waiting four years and winning a lottery for his coveted dock spot, Natty's peaceful meditation plans are derailed by what he's convinced is a crocodile or alligator swimming directly toward him. As his panic escalates and his heart races, he frantically questions why no other pier-goers are reacting to the imminent threat. The episode builds to a comedic reveal that puts Natty's overreaction into perspective.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Look at that dude, he's going banu, that means he's crazy, and that's you right now! Me, my friend, I'm keeping it real, I'm keeping it steady, I'm keeping it 100!”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I saved up for four years! To get this spot on this pier, I wanted some inner peace, some sanctity, I wanted to meditate, I wanted to be one with the nature, the universe.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Yo, that's just a log?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #vacation #panic #overreacting #monsters #nature #meditation #comedy #misunderstanding

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: So there I was, so there I was, so there I was, so there I was, so there I was, just sitting there on the edge of the pier, when all of a sudden, what comes up, is it a boat? No, it's not a boat, it's some sort of crocodile, alligator, some sort of snakey, but whatever, a reptile, coming right down to water, right towards where I'm sitting, at the edge of the dock, and so I'm like, what am I supposed to do here? I paid good money to sit on this dock, I paid all the proper fees to rent my spot, and all of a sudden, you're telling me that this is the kind of place I should be? This is the kind of situation where you're gonna have monsters, basically? Monsters? Actual, live monsters, coming down the water, at me? I mean, who am I gonna talk to? Who's your supervisor? Who works here anyway? Where are you guys? And then I look around, I'm at the edge of a dock, there's nobody working down here, it's just a bunch of people sitting. Down, fishing, looking at the water, there's a dude over there, with binoculars, looking at the ocean, thinking he's gonna see some sort of a whale. Good job, beluga, good luck seeing your whale, hope that monster doesn't come and get you, because he's right there! Oh my god, this is like the worst vacation I ever took in my life! I saved up for four years! To get this spot on this pier, I wanted some inner peace, some sanctity, I wanted to meditate, I wanted to be one with the nature, the universe, and all of a sudden, what am I doing? My heart is beating out of my chest, I think I'm starting to hyperventilate a little bit. Oh what, you think I'm overreacting? You think I'm going a little bit crazy? You think that maybe, perhaps? Perhaps? That I'm going over the edge? Oh my friend, oh my friend, oh my friend, I'd say that you are the one who's going a bit bonkers, a bit nuts, a bit banu, that's what we say in my town! Look at that dude, he's going banu, that means he's crazy, and that's you right now! Me, my friend, I'm keeping it real, I'm keeping it steady, I'm keeping it 100! There is a monster! He's floating up at me, right next to the dock now, he's close, he's closer than he was when I started, that's for sure, I don't know if he's in the, uh, I don't know if the water's pushing him my way, I don't know if the tides are shifting maybe, but what I do know, what I do definitely know, is that probably in the next, oh I don't know, two seconds, one, two, boom, monster's gonna come and get me! Eat my foot! I don't know, it's hanging off the dock, he could certainly reach up and grab it if he wanted to, uh, cool, is he gonna pull me under, is he gonna do a crocodile roll, a death roll, I mean that's what they do, this is not a relaxing vacation! I mean, I want my money back, and then what am I gonna do, am I gonna go, if I leave this spot to go and talk to whoever owns this dock, am I gonna lose my spot, is somebody else gonna come and sit in my spot, which I paid for, and then I'm not gonna have my spot anymore? I do not know, but what I do know, is if I don't have a place to sit, after all this time of waiting on the waiting list, and putting my name in, and there was a lottery, and I had to win it, and I did, and I'm sitting here, and now you're gonna take it away from me? This is crazy, it's Banu, this whole thing is Banu, this whole situation, why is nobody else reacting to this thing? Do you guys not see it? Everybody else on the dock, do you not see this thing coming out my neck? Out of the boat? Do you see that thing right over there, it's right in the water, it's gonna come over here, it's looking at us, sniffing in the air, I see him sniffing in the air, trying to come over here, you, with that chum bucket, he's gonna be your chum in just a second, he's gonna come chum up with you real quick, he's gonna eat you, he's gonna eat your baby, he's gonna have babies sit next to you, he's gonna eat it, if that's what they do, what? What are you talking about? I'm looking at the monster right over there, alligator crocodile! He's gonna come over here and take it all down, probably gonna take the whole dock down if we don't watch out, what? You kidding me? Yo, that's just a log?

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