Tag: natty bumpercar

  • Bumperpodcast #439 – Season 3 – Come On, Turkey

    Bumperpodcast #439 – Season 3 – Come On, Turkey

    In this uproarious episode, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and the hilariously unexpected Turkey—dive headfirst into the world of podcast management. As they engage in side-splitting conversations with a mysterious someone, listeners are treated to a delightful blend of quick-witted banter and comedic genius.

    The episode unfolds with the gang navigating the challenges of running their unconventional podcast, providing a unique behind-the-scenes peek into the hilarious happenings in Coffee-Can Alley. Whether you’re a longtime fan or a newcomer, the Bumperpodcast guarantees a comedy adventure like no other. Join Rufus, Producer, Aloysius, and Turkey in this episode that promises laughs, surprises, and an unforgettable glimpse into the whimsical world of podcast management in Coffee-Can Alley. Don’t miss the fun—hit play and let the laughter begin!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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    Bumperpodcast Turkey Episode Cover
    Transcription

    Aloysius J. Pig 0:04
    Yeah, so everybody is gonna come on in, watch your step. Try not to knock anything over. You. Come on in, come on in, come on in. We’ll get we can get more there’s more room in here in the studio. And we can look around a little bit.

    Rufus T. Rufus 0:18
    Now,

    everybody Aloysius J pig here, he’s given us a tour, and

    I Rufus T roof isn’t just here, you know, just as for more managerial perspective, and I just kinda, you know, just want to make things go smoothly as we move into this next phase of our project. Yes. And just make sure you avoid the wires. There’s a lot of wires everywhere, but you can see the part that stood here in the things the plugs in everything’s just, you know, just what we were saying. Just be very careful as you come into this space, this studio here, where we do make the recordings for the band

    Turkey, I admit it, but you do have a good point. Yeah, yeah, he

    Aloysius J. Pig 1:12
    does have a good point, you know, with the bumper podcast thing that we’re kind of moving on from that against, but for right now, it’s fine. You know, it doesn’t confuse anybody. This is a studio where we record a bumper podcast, we’re recording a podcast and we’re just trying to figure out what we’re doing here moving forward

    Manager 1:36
    maybe be your manager.

    Rufus T. Rufus 1:39
    Now hold on one second. Because I’m, I mean, I’m the lawyer but I’m also the manager of the podcast and the whole the whole headquarters here. Just

    Aloysius J. Pig 1:50
    let him Let him talk. Alright, this Hold on

    Rufus T. Rufus 2:03
    No, apologies. You just started to be over here, I suppose taking notes and making sure everything stays above the board and that nothing is going to impact the bottom line. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, I

    Aloysius J. Pig 2:17
    think everybody knows what you’re saying. All right. So back to the matter at hand. So this is the studio we used to record a bumper podcast here. I’m Aloysius jpg gets full press T Rufus over there is produced and obviously missing from the equation. He’s Natty Bumpercar We haven’t seen him in a long time. So that’s why we’ve reached out to you

    Manager 2:41
    because it’s nice to meet you. I’m glad that you called me and I’m looking around here and I can see

    Aloysius J. Pig 2:52
    all right that I mean that sounds good and a lot a lot of stuff we can do as soon as we can. I mean that makes sense to me. We want to get me well we do when we get started as soon as possible because we’ve been kind of languishing I think is the proper time

    Rufus T. Rufus 3:13
    again, Turkey is seeing things from a perspective that I feel like none of us even consider it well said Turkana Aloysius What do you think about that? That that that point there that took it just me When

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:28
    did you intend to become such good pals? This is a nice relationship friendship, whatever, that I had no idea. Yeah, Turkey yet. That does make sense. We don’t want to just like trash everything. Throw everything away. Maybe we can get some storage boxes, we can put things you know, I think there’s probably some room over in the shed.

    Producer 3:48
    Which which shed are we talking about? Are we talking about the the big shade or the or the Play Stick shade? Or this is a lot of shade around? You know,

    Rufus T. Rufus 3:58
    I mean, it could be you’re seeing the blue shed that’s out back? It could be the green shed, it’s out front?

    Producer 4:07
    I mean,

    Rufus T. Rufus 4:08
    I don’t understand what natty was doing. How do you collect shapes like it sheds is something that you’re going to store stuff in? So why would you just keep getting more and more sheds like we it looks if I look around at corners up there. It looks like we’re like a Mr. Shit like we’re gonna be selling shit at some point. You know? Like, come on down to guess bumper cars crazy shit Emporium. Where you can buy the best stop pointing

    Manager 4:49
    gonna stick around we’re not gonna do bird we’re not gonna do none of those. Well,

    Aloysius J. Pig 4:58
    no. Okay, well gonna know tangents that’s Wow, that is gonna be quite different because normally this show exists to just just to tangent like so like we look like instead of a road like uncooked spaghetti which is straight, we look like a bowl of spaghetti all twisted and mixed up and all around the dike that’s kind of you guys think of pasta for lunch? Maybe? Yeah,

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:29
    I could certainly go over some pasta. You know, this weekend, we got a big game. And so I want to Cabo row.

    Producer 5:37
    Right, exactly. She’s kind of loud. What do you what is he talking about?

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:45
    Turkey, you know, so? Yeah.

    So listen, so what we do before the big game, is we eat a lot of carbohydrates, because it makes it better have more energy mix was much more, you know, just more of a spark, you know, it gives us a good bit of fuel for when we can go out on the field and, you know, make moves and do what we do whatever them. So that’s what is carbo loading.

    And then you’re ready to go. Yeah.

    Aloysius J. Pig 6:18
    So I think producing is a little confused. What exactly is this big game that you’re playing? And who is playing in it? And what where is it? I don’t know. Just explain a little bit this this whole game thing that you’re talking about?

    Producer 6:37
    No, no, we didn’t get the email, I guess. I guess, maybe just you and the roof is we’re talking about these intramural sports that you’re doing between different podcasts. And I said, and I checked my email all the time. And I said, I’m looking now there’s no mercy from you. 30. I’m looking in my spam. Sorry, Emily. She’s looking out through everything and they don’t see any messages from any of you.

    Manager 7:12
    Red Line over there on the red line. Even me

    Aloysius J. Pig 7:15
    not a red light this mean check Tia, I think it means that the power is on. And I still with that? I

    Producer 7:22
    think that we’re recording I would think yes, yes, the red light. It doesn’t mean the powder is on it just means that we are recording the things that are transpiring here in the studio

    Manager 7:39
    recording on the podcast, everything you

    Rufus T. Rufus 7:48
    know, we got to do here is anytime anybody really goes into the studio, we start recording and the light The light is read over the you know, and that just means that we are recording the podcast and or recording something that you know, I guess well

    Aloysius J. Pig 8:12
    is we have a difficult time of keeping to a schedule. And you know, these people out there in the world, they want to live there, like hey, we want to know the day and the time that your pod gates is going to come out every single week and we don’t have that capability. And so what we do, a lot of the time is if we’re gonna have a conversation, it’s like hold on, let’s just go talk into studio producer came you know, turn on record and then bang, bang, boom, we got another podcast

    Manager 8:49
    this is going to be a podcast I don’t even know what kind of a situation I’ve gotten myself into. was gonna come in a few walls. And then be with

    Rufus T. Rufus 9:08
    I mean, I thought we were just hanging out lollygag and a bit just, you know, just talking to talk a little pod cast, team to podcast, Matt and Mr. We’re gonna knock down walls. I don’t doesn’t make no sense to me. Where’s the budget for that?

    Producer 9:30
    Yes. So ever reaches the budget is we don’t have any money right now. But what we started thinking about was doing some sort of fundraisers, or the podcast, you know, like, I think we were thinking of maybe doing a car wash,

    Aloysius J. Pig 9:47
    I will not be washing cars. Do you get me for no sir. I will not be doing that. Duly noted.

    Producer 9:56
    Then we were also thinking you No going around and sending cookies didn’t even like boxes of cookies, people love cookies.

    Rufus T. Rufus 10:08
    I do think to be honest, I love cookies and all that. And I think everyone here understands the legal ramifications. So the girls that don’t go around and they sell the cookies every year and we can’t begin that that tour tour is taken, we can’t jump in there, we’re gonna they’re very tough group we’re not gonna I don’t not want to tussle with looking at cookie girls. So I think that’s not a good idea either.

    Aloysius J. Pig 10:36
    I don’t want to fit. This is an EN tz no tassel endzone. Also, this is an I’m starvin zone because earlier we’re talking about pasta. And then now we’re talking about cookies all of a sudden, so it’s just like that sounds like an entree and a dessert to me, which is a meal and kind of where my mind is now I’ve kind of given up on this whole room thing this is this podcast managed to help or whatever and I think we should probably break for lunch or whatever what time is it whatever it was so whatever meal people eat at at 330 I don’t know

    Manager 11:28
    talk about you guys are just gonna go to 330 meals.

    Rufus T. Rufus 11:36
    I’m not concerned about what the meal is. But I don’t know if everybody else is here.

    I always don’t like to detract from people who are here especially people who are trying to help us but you’ll your voice is grading it. It’s I don’t know what it is about it. But I do feel like Allah which is if we’re gonna start having people on the show. Let’s talk to him a little bit before we come in the studio. We can tell producer like hey, do not record this. This is not gonna sound good, be pleasing to people

    Manager 12:16
    and you ain’t even one being I got a podcast and you want to stay

    Aloysius J. Pig 12:27
    turnkey come on

    Outro 12:42
    the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig and Rufus T. Rufus give a tour of their studio to potential new manager Doodle Poodle. With host Natty Bumpercar still missing, the crew discusses the future of the podcast while navigating cluttered wires, multiple storage sheds, and Turkey's confusing interjections. Doodle Poodle quickly becomes frustrated with the show's tangent-heavy format and questions why they're even recording. The conversation spirals through topics like carbo-loading for mysterious sports games, cookie fundraisers, and whether 3:30 is an appropriate meal time. Rufus eventually admits that Doodle Poodle's grating voice might not be suitable for podcasting, leading to an awkward confrontation.

    Memorable Quotes

    “When I take over as the manager of this podcast, we can't do all this talking like this. We're going to have a topic. We're going to have maybe a gift or two. We're going to stick to it. We're not going to diverge.”

    — Doodle Poodle

    “We look like, instead of a road, like uncooked spaghetti, which is straight, we look like a bowl of spaghetti. Spaghetti all twisted and mixed up and all around me.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “Your voice is so loud. I don't know what it is about it, but I do feel like we should talk to people before we come in the studio so we can tell producer, do not record this.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    Topics: #podcastmanagement #studiotour #food #tangents #missinghost #friendshipconflicts #fundraising

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Turkey, Doodle Poodle, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: yeah so everybody just come on in watch your step try not to knock anything over come on in come on in come on in uh we can get more there's more room in here in uh the studio and then we can look around a little bit yeah now uh so everybody

    Rufus T. Rufus: al oish is jay pig here he's giving us a tour and uh i rufus t rufus i'm just here you know just as from a more managerial uh perspective and i just kind of you know just want to make things go smoothly as we move into this uh next phase of our project yes and so just

    Turkey: make sure you avoid the wires there's a lot of wires everywhere but you know because he the studio and the things the plugs and everything so just you know i just what we were saying just be very careful as you come into the space the studio here where we do make the recordings for the

    Rufus T. Rufus: bumper podcast yeah turkey i hate to admit it but you do have a good point there yeah yeah he does

    Aloysious J. Pig: have a good point you know with the bumper podcast thing that we're kind of moving on from that i guess but for right now it's fine you know it doesn't confuse anybody this is a studio you where we record the bumper podcast recording the podcast you know we're just trying to figure out

    Doodle Poodle: what we're doing here moving forward yep yep yep well don't you mind me i'm on my way around the podcast studio you know that's why you guys called me in to maybe be your manager

    Rufus T. Rufus: well now hold on one second there because i'm i mean i'm the lawyer but i'm i'm also the manager of the podcast and the whole the whole uh headquarters here rufus just let him let

    Aloysious J. Pig: Let him talk, all right? Just hold on. Do I need to leave? Everything's going to be all right, all right?

    Doodle Poodle: Okay, because I can just go. If you guys don't know what you're doing, then I can just head on out right now. I don't mind doing it now.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I'll apologize. I'll just be over here, I suppose, taking notes and making sure everything stays above the board and that nothing is going to impact the bottom line. You know what I'm saying?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, I think everybody knows what you're saying. All right, so back to the matter at hand. So this is the studio. We used to record the Bumper Podcast here. I'm Aloysius J. Pig. That's Rufus T. Rufus over there as producer. And obviously, missing from the equation, he's Natty Bumpercar. We haven't seen him in a long time. So that's why we reached out to you.

    Doodle Poodle: Well, all I know is it's nice to meet you, and I'm glad that you called me. And I'm just looking around this room here, and I can see a lot of improvements that we can make as soon as possible.

    Aloysious J. Pig: All right, I mean, that sounds good. A lot of stuff we can do as soon as we can. I mean, that makes sense to me. I mean, we do want to get started as soon as possible, because we've been kind of languishing, I think is the proper term.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, again, Turkey is seeing things from a perspective that I feel like none of us are even considering. Well said, Turkey. Now, Aloysius, what do you think about that point there that Turkey just made?

    Aloysious J. Pig: When did you and Turkey become such good pals? This is a nice relationship, friendship, whatever, that I had no idea. Yeah, Turkey, yeah, that does make sense. We don't want to just, like, trash everything, throw everything away. Maybe we could get some storage boxes. We could put things, you know, I think there's probably some room over in the shed.

    Turkey: Now, which shed are we talking about? Are we talking about? The big shed, or the plastic shed, or there's a lot of sheds around, you know?

    Rufus T. Rufus: I mean, it could be, like you're saying, the blue shed that's out back. It could be the green shed that's out front. I mean, I don't understand what Natty was doing. How do you collect sheds? Like, sheds are something that you're going to store stuff in, so why would you just keep getting more and more sheds? It's like, it looks… If I look around headquarters out there, it looks like we're, like, a Mr. Shed. Like, we're going to be selling sheds at some point, you know? Like, come on down to, I guess, Bumper Car's Crazy Shed Emporium, where you can buy the best…

    Doodle Poodle: No, hold on a second. You've got to stop talking.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Point taken, point taken.

    Doodle Poodle: Yeah, because when I take over as the manager of this podcast, we can't do all this talking like this, okay? We're going to have a topic. We're going to have maybe a gift or two. And we're going to… Stick to it, all right? We're not going to diverge. We're not going to have tangents. We're not going to do none of that stuff, okay?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, no… Okay. We're going to… No tangents? That's… Wow. That is going to be quite the difference, because normally this show exists just to tangent. Like, we look like, instead of a road, like uncooked spaghetti, which is straight, we look like a bowl of spaghetti. Spaghetti all twisted and mixed up and all around me. Like, that's kind of… Oh. You guys thinking of pasta for lunch, maybe?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, I could certainly go for some pasta. You know, this weekend we've got a big game, and so I want a carbo-road.

    Turkey: Not exactly. It's just carbo-road. What is he talking about?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, turkey and turkey, you know. So, listen. So, what we… What we do before the big game is we eat a lot of carbohydrates, because it makes our body have more energy. It makes us have much more, you know, just more of a spark. You know, it gives us a good bit of fuel for when we can go out on the field and, you know, make our moves and do what we do and everything. So, that's just carbo-loading. You eat a lot of pasta, and then you're ready to go.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. So, I think… Producer and I are a little confused. What exactly is this big game that you're playing, and who is playing in it, and what… Where is it being… I don't know. Just explain a little bit this whole game thing that you're talking about.

    Doodle Poodle: Huh. No.

    Turkey: Yeah, no. We didn't get the email, I guess. I guess maybe just you and Rufus were talking about these intramural sports that you're doing between different podcasts, and I said, and I checked my email. All the time, and I said, I'm looking now. There's no message from you, Turkey. I'm looking in my spam. Sorry, Aloysius. I'm looking all through everything, and I don't see any messages from any of you.

    Doodle Poodle: Okay, so I just need all of y'all to stop talking, because here's what's happening. You're wasting my time, and why is that red light over there on? What does that red light even mean?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Ah, the red light just means that the, uh, I think it means that the power is on. And that, I guess, I think that we're recording, I would think.

    Turkey: Yes, yes. The red light, it doesn't mean the power is on. It just means that, uh, we are recording, uh, the things that are transpiring here in the, um, uh, studio.

    Doodle Poodle: Well, I don't understand even one thing. Why would you be recording this? You can't put this out. This isn't a podcast. You're just wasting power and wasting everything. You're wasting my time, and you're wasting your time. No.

    Rufus T. Rufus: See it? What we kind of do here is, uh, anytime anybody really goes into the studio, we start recording, and the light, the light is red over there, you know, and that just means that, uh, that we are recording the podcast, and, uh, we're recording something, you know, I guess.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, here's the thing, is we have a difficult time of keeping to a schedule, and, uh, you know, these people out there in the world, they want to live their life. Hey, we want to know the day and the time that your podcast is going to come out every single week, and we don't have that capability. And so what we do a lot of the time is, if we're going to have a conversation, uh, it's like, hold on, let's just go talk in the studio, producer can, you know, turn on record, and then, bing, bang, boom, we got another podcast.

    Doodle Poodle: So you're telling me that this is going to be a podcast? Yes, or this, that doesn't make any sense, this is just, I don't even know what kind of a situation I've gotten myself into. I thought I was going to come in here, knock down a few walls, put up a new sign, and then be ready to go, but that does not seem to be what we're doing here.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I don't, I, I mean, I thought we were just here hanging out, just lollygagging a bit, just, uh, you know, just talking the talk, a little podcaster team. Wait, a podcaster, ma, mister, uh, wait, I didn't, we're gonna knock down walls, I don't, that doesn't make no sense to me, I, where's the budget for that?

    Turkey: Yes, so, uh, Aloysius, the budget is, uh, we don't have any money right now, but what we started thinking about was doing some sort of fundraisers for the podcast, you know, like, uh, I think we were thinking of maybe doing a car wash? I.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Will. Not. A. Mission. Cause. Do you get me, producer? I will not be doing that.

    Turkey: Duly noted. Um, then we were also thinking of, you know, uh, uh, going around and selling, uh, cookies to people, like boxes of cookies, people love boxes of cookies.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, I, I, I do think that the, I, I love cookies, I know that, and I, I think everyone here, uh, understands, uh, the legal ramifications, uh, the, the, the, the, the girls, they don't go around and they sell the cookies every year, and then we can't, we can't, that, that tour-a-tour is taken. We can't jump in there, we're gonna, they're a very tough group, we're not gonna, I don't not wanna tussle with the cookie, cookie girls, so, uh, I think that's not a good idea either.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, I don't wanna, this is an NTZ, uh, no tussling zone. Also, this is a, an I'm starving zone, because earlier we was talking about pasta, and then now we're talking about cookies. We're talking about cookies all of a sudden, so it's just like, that sounds like an entree and a dessert to me, which is a meal, and, uh, kind of where my mind is now, I've kind of given up on this whole, uh, room thing, this, this, this, this podcast manager help or whatever, and, uh, I think we should probably, uh, break for, for lunch, or whatever, what time is it? It's like three, three thirty? Okay, whatever, whatever. Three thirty? Yeah. So, what time do you think, uh, what time do you think we should, uh, what time do you think we should, uh, what time do you think we should, uh, what time should meal people eat at, at, at three thirty? I, I don't know.

    Doodle Poodle: So, are you telling me that I came all the way down here to have a meal and, you know, talk about a new podcast, and now all of a sudden you guys are just gonna go and have lunch or whatever. Three thirty meal, well. Yeah. I'm not concerned about what the meal is, but I don't know if everybody else is here. I, I always don't like to detract from people who are here, especially people who are trying to help us. But your, your voice is so loud. Oh, you're so loud. I, I'm sorry. for a 3.30 meal.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, I'm not concerned about what the meal is, but I don't know if everybody else is here. I always don't like to detract from people who are here, especially people who are trying to help us, but your voice is grating. I don't know what it is about it, but I do feel like Aloysius, if we're going to start having people on the show, let's talk to them a little bit before we come in the studio so that we can tell producer, like, hey, do not record this. This is not going to sound good. He's pleasing to people's ears.

    Doodle Poodle: I know. I've got more podcasting experience and skill and talent in my pinkie toe than you have. I'm going to all gather together. I don't appreciate what y'all are saying. I've got awards for podcasting. You understand?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Turkey, come on!

    Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash WTPS.com. www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodlepoole, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    Robot: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com

    Doodle Poodle: … …

    Unknown: … …

  • Bumperpodcast #407 – Season 2 – Mystery

    Bumperpodcast #407 – Season 2 – Mystery


    Natty is thrilled to be in the studio — and is even more thrilled when a couple of his old pals show up!

    The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar.

    And – and – and — Natty Bumpercar is now an Ambassador for the Improv channel on Vurbl!! Here is a link to that page: https://vurbl.com/browse/comedy/improv/ go hang out — it’ll be fun!!

    Another story about saving baby animals!

    A feel good story!

    Previous episode!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe


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    Natty Bumpercar 0:03
    Well, well. Well, well, well, if it isn’t the bumper broadcast. There’s sirens outside. They’re coming to get me. For what? For not recording a podcast the last couple of weeks I’ve been busy. The holiday season, it’s holiday season it cetera, et cetera.

    Rufus T. Rufus 0:28
    Is that just gonna? Are you just gonna? You seem like you’re in good spirits, Natalie, but well, you know, what is holiday season? Sorry. It’s already Yeah, I

    Natty Bumpercar 0:41
    understand. No, Rufus. It’s I’m just happy to be here. And I’m thrilled. And I’m in the bumper barn. And you know what, we’ve made a lot of progress. I would say that we are about six 70% Done with the insulation, which means I can be in here. Well, it’s really I can be in here because it’s like 62 degrees, which in December is weird and scary. And but we’re just gonna roll with it and try to make lemons out of lemonade. Well, that’s not something we can do. Is that so? Is it. A big Do we have a recipe to turn lemons into lemonade? Lemonade? Lemonade in the lemon?

    Producer 1:24
    No, I don’t I don’t we she’s not here yet for these shots, right? But I don’t know if you need recipe bursting here in the lab where we make the bumper pad case. Okay, here and get quieter. Yep, sorry. I’m not really entirely sure if we have those.

    Natty Bumpercar 1:40
    You know what, you’re probably right. I usually they’re probably in the kitchen or maybe in the library, but it makes sense that they are not here in the studio because we don’t cook here. So why would we need

    Peanut Lou 1:52
    to hire me Pina loo? I haven’t been on the podcast. Yo. Yeah, I forgot what I’m supposed to do here. Anybody please tell me what I’m supposed to do on the

    Natty Bumpercar 2:05
    piano below. knows what’s going on kitty cat man

    Spot Elliot 2:16
    is going on. It’s me.

    Natty Bumpercar 2:22
    Yeah, what’s going on? For anyone who doesn’t know because they have not been on the show in a long time. Spot Elliot and peanut Lou. Were cats that I rescued a long time ago and they’re best friends. And they’re so sweet. And I love them to pieces.

    Peanut Lou 2:39
    So so so so so buttons we I keep wanting to find who I see you.

    Rufus T. Rufus 2:49
    You know it? I love talking to new people who has it? Who is it? I’m so excited. Why are you why are you so you’re very amped on this episode. Now there were two almost three minutes in it if your energy is F is too much if I’m to be honest, let’s Can we just tamp it down a little bit fine.

    Producer 3:06
    I was going to say something but you know cuz I’m producing the whole show. So my name is on the credit in so yeah, this it really impacts me if you are acting the little looky loo and you’re going out and people are like our producers on that chair. I don’t know if I want to hire him. And I’m like, oh, please hire me because just don’t ignore the horse. If you could just focus on the engineering but the producing

    Unknown Speaker 3:32
    anyway, so he special guest Okay, hold on. Here we go.

    Santa 3:37
    Well, Lou, it’s wonderful to see. I’m so happy to be here on this. DREW. Is everyone been nice to show I’ve been a bit naughty.

    Rufus T. Rufus 3:51
    I’d like to know you’re saying I don’t like you. And it’s nice to be here. Obviously everyone loves it when Santa Claus comes into town. However, you can’t just come in and immediately start asking people if they have been naughty or they have been nice it’s it’s they have the rights you understand as citizens of the United States of America. And so for you to start implying and infer and that maybe they haven’t been on the ice is a little bit too much

    Santa 4:21
    Now Rufus ervice it’s wonderful for you to be here. First and foremost, I have a couple of issues or a couple of bones to pick with you if you if you don’t mind. I have been keeping my eye on everyone but you in particular have have certainly caught my eye over the course of a year. What

    Natty Bumpercar 4:44
    did you do? What did you do? What did you do? Why are you sad? Oh, you’re in trouble. Oh,

    Rufus T. Rufus 4:53
    no, I will not have the spotlight of injustice turned upon me. As the light is so bright that when you shine it upon me, you will see that I have done nothing incorrect. Nothing, introspect, nothing that you would ever reject. I say to you that I’ve been wonderful this year, everybody knows that you can look at my Yelp reviews, up to a 3.5 star rating. That’s three and a half out of five. So I feel like this year I’ve really turned things around.

    Santa 5:31
    Of course, you’ve turned things around reviews, but it’s not all about the star ratings and star reviews you understand. It’s about did you help anyone? Were you kind to anyone? Did you give of yourself? Did you did you go out of your way to try to make someone feel better? Did you notice that someone was down and think to yourself, I couldn’t pick them up? I can help them out. Right? Did you do any of these?

    Producer 6:02
    I didn’t know that this one time that I was in the hallway. And I was working on some wiring systems and Rufus was trying to get through and he did he picked me Oh, okay, so he picked you up. So that’s what you’re talking about? Yes. But then he just moved me to design I don’t know if he’s the type of peeking you’re talking about you actually physically oh boy picked up and kind of he was really tossed to me didn’t really display down he could have just very busy lifted me and then we’re talking about

    Santa 6:40
    No No, obviously this is not the type of pick me up that we’re talking about when talking about emotionally picking people up when they’re down in despair when they’re in the dumps when they’re sad. This however, this feels like borderline assault if I’m to be completely honest, Rufus. For the moment I feel like you’re not on the nice list. You’re not on any list at all. You’re kind of in between lists if you will. I know most people don’t even realize that but I do have those the naughty list and there’s a nice list but there’s also kind of this in between list that will that we’re gonna sit you upon right now you’re on. You’re on the fence as it were.

    Unknown Speaker 7:24
    So I’m noticing something kind of strange. Yeah, I’m dying Santa Claus. Santa Wilbur like Well, first

    Natty Bumpercar 7:31
    off, I noticed that too. Peanut Lou and I it’s kind of strange. Because every time Santa comes in the room, Rufus leaves the room and every time Rufus is in the rooms, waiting, every time Sam is in the room, Rufus leaves the room and every time Rufus is in the room, Santa leaves. Yeah, you guys aren’t ever in the room at the same time right now. No roof is it’s just you what’s going

    Rufus T. Rufus 7:55
    on? You’re being a bit conspiratorial, and there’s nothing to see. I think you know, Sam is obviously a very busy man. I’m a very busy man myself. We’re in the time of year right now. People need lawyers more than they need. I don’t know fishing the sea or whatever that the phrase is. People need lawyers more than they need a honey bee now that just rhymed. It didn’t make any more sense. I did it people need lawyers more than wool socks. I use the phrase good No, you’re usually better off usually I am. But yeah, no, I’m not.

    Natty Bumpercar 8:34
    Are you a little You seem like you’re a little bit flustered. Maybe a little bit freaked out is that is what’s going on.

    Santa 8:41
    Now. Rufus has had to leave the room as he had a lot of things. He had other engagements to take care of. But now I sent him here to talk to everybody. Now, Rufus, I feel like again, you’re on the fence, but I know that you can probably pull it all together. I believe in you and you should also believe in yourself.

    Aloysius J. Pig 9:03
    Hi, everybody. It’s me Aloysius. JPEGs really weird energy in the room right now. I Santa’s I guess is here. Wow. Spawn le and Vina Lu What’s up kids? You guy What are you doing? Are you bad seniors so long. We’re

    Spot Elliot 9:21
    just hanging out here. So I used to do I do talk he does sing now what’s right and you give me honest, your voice seems to be a lot deeper.

    Peanut Lou 9:32
    Yes. He’s got some sort of a Trojan going on how it’s happening. Really? Yeah, he’s your wife. Oh, I do a lot deeper. Yeah, you’re right.

    Aloysius J. Pig 9:42
    But you sound just like you normally did so I but it’s anyway, it’s splendid to see you guys with an agenda room. Has anybody seen real fast?

    Natty Bumpercar 9:50

    No, but it’s weird because every time Rufus talks san is not here, and every time Santa talks, Rufus isn’t here. I think there’s something strange going on with your hours

    Producer 9:59
    so far. Just To say that it totes banoo because you say that this whole situation is taught.

    Natty Bumpercar 10:04
    Not only what I say it’s totes banoo, but I would say it’s a total mystery

    Outro 10:20
    the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs in hearts See you soon.

    NonPro 11:39
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
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  • Bumperpodcast #393 – Season 2 – Toe

    Bumperpodcast #393 – Season 2 – Toe

    It has been way too long. Let me explain why – oh – why. ❤️ The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    About This Episode

    In this personal episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares stories from his recent whirlwind trip to Georgia. Natty recounts helping his childhood best friend clean out his parents' house in Macon, Georgia, triggering waves of nostalgia from their friendship that began in traumatic swim lessons at age four. The episode features humorous tales of Southern food adventures including barbecue, Brunswick stew, and a leaky fried chicken restaurant, followed by a grueling 25-hour drive to Boulder, Colorado. Between managing his clumsy cone-wearing puppy Banjo, dealing with a broken trampoline, and hosting a virtual drawing session for schoolchildren, Natty ends the episode explaining how he broke his pinky toe by walking into a cabinet.

    Memorable Quotes

    “They put us at the deep end of the pool… walked up behind us and pushed. Sploosh. Down into the water. That's how we learned to swim… that's a scary way to learn how to swim.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “He's got this cone on his head and he hits me right in the back of the calf… he's very insistent like hey hey hey I'm gonna hit you I'm gonna hit you hard.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I stood up and I walked directly into a very heavy cabinet… I yelped I fell on the ground and I was just like rolling around… Banjo came over with his cone and he tried to love me to death.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #friendship #nostalgia #travel #southernfood #childhoodmemories #pets #injury

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Well now I went down to Georgia for a while for about four days and now I forgot how to talk because sometimes when I go back home I just start talking like I used to talk which was kind of like this. It wasn't exactly like this but it was kind of like this and I wait a minute no that's not did I? I mean I did go to Georgia. I was there for for three days two days. It was I had the craziest trip you guys. I know you probably like bumper car. You can't just put out an episode a month. I understand that. I know that but life has been coming at me crazy fast. So here's what's been going on. Step one I had to fly to Georgia to help my best friend out. We had to clean his pants. We had to clean his parents house out. We had a I flew to Georgia and then we drove to a place called Macon Georgia. Macon Bacon. Macon Trouble. Macon Macon. Yeah I don't know um and and we we got a 20 foot uh tall. No that'd be amazing. Do you do you know that you know the difference between tall and long? Uh probably right? Like your height that's how tall you are. Your arms if you stretch them out that's how long I don't know. Hard to explain but you know when you're driving down the road and you see a big truck and it's really long or a train that's really long that's that's that's long. That's not a good description is it? Huh that's fine too. Anyway it was a 20 foot long truck and I mean come to think of it it was probably like 12 or 13 feet tall. It was pretty tall and we emptied out the entire house and we were straightening and cleaning and going room by room. And and and getting rid of stuff um because his mom moved to where he lives and so they were getting rid of the house and it was there were emotions. I had emotions. There was a lot of nostalgia. We we drove around. I've known this friend since we were four years old. I used to say three years old but he contends that it was four or five years old and so now I'm like what? Oh so I did give a little bit of ground on the three so now I'll say four. We met when we were um in swim lessons and this is how the swim lessons used to go so just get ready kids. They put us at the deep end of the pool and our swim instructor was this woman and I can't remember her name but she walked up behind us in the deep end of the pool. A four year old. Several of us and put her hand on her back our backs and pushed. Sploosh. Down into the water. That's how we we learned to swim and then she had this thing that she would kind of reach out into the pool and pull us back and and that's not that's a scary way to learn how to swim. I'm just gonna tell you. And so it was through that trauma through that trial by fiery water that we we bonded and we became pals and so this house it I spent more time in this house growing up than in any other house and um so there were a lot of emotions involved with that just you know walking room to room and uh they have a a separate little room it's a bonus room is what they call it oh look at this your house has a bonus room and it's above the garage and it was never finished it was kind of like a big storage area and um it has this smell and it's not a bad smell it's just like when I open the door to look in and see how much stuff I have I'm like oh my god I'm so I was hit by this smell now smell is cool for memory um like you can walk into someplace or and you can smell something and and your mind will just get flooded with all these memories where you're like I remember you know this place and you can just close your eyes and you just know where you are and it's it's just so cool and so that's how it was and we uh so we were down there and we were in the pool and we were like oh my god I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so excited we're we're packing stuff we get the truck uh we're going to all these places like to eat like you know oh remember this place let's go get food there or whatever and um one of the places i went by myself well i had a big food day which i do not recommend because my tummy still hurts where we had um barbecue and we had something called brunswick stew which is made in brunswick georgia and it's it's this stewy thing that you get at barbecue places and it's so good and after that i went and i got curly fries seasoned curly fries from this place that i really like and then after that i went to another place a fried chicken place and i didn't get fried chicken but i did get a honey buttered biscuit oh it was so good and uh an order of fried okra which is um magical thing and really one of the only ways i'll eat okra because have you ever had okra it's it can be a little creepy if i'm gonna be completely honest um i do like pickled okra but only on very rare occasions uh stewed okra no thank you too slimy too creepy you keep that over there fried okra every day my friend but i'm standing there and well first when i walk into the uh the fried chicken place you know sometimes when you go to stores people will say something like how are you welcome to my store hello customer hello friend whatever it is uh all she said and she just yelled at she she said um what are you having and i was like ah that's a lot of pressure like i want i didn't get to acclimate i didn't get to get my my feet wet but i did almost get my feet wet because about five feet to the right of the register uh where you're you know where you're going to get your food and get your stuff and she's like oh you're an expert so he's like what just friends i'm like realized that we didn't know what it was and so then we had a sir cramp and i thought to myself that i was going to get my phone bill here you know buying the stuff there's a there was a giant hole in the ceiling um where there's all these exposed uh like air conditioner pipes and there was all this water falling not even just dripping but kind of raining and it wasn't raining outside this was internal raining and there was a giant puddle on the floor so there was a there was a big pan that was full of this sealing water and then there was a big puddle on the floor and the whole time i was i like experiences and to me this is an adventure and an experience i'm getting off so i'll very soon without the trip so i'm going to maybe come back so i'll take me there now if somebody's gonna buy me a little bit and to me this is an adventure and experience and I was just like this this is what I want in the world I want weird stuff like this um and what I ended up with uh not gonna lie again a stomach ache and then that night we went to uh downtown Macon which I mean it existed as a thing but it didn't exist like this and we saw a friend and we had dinner outside and there were lights and it was gorgeous and it was the best thing ever anyway loaded the truck and drove all the way to Boulder Colorado 25 hours so far unloaded the truck returned the truck flew back home so tired but good happy right yeah and then on top of that uh my little puppy dog Banjo who's a pointer he had to go get um a little medical procedure done because he's at that certain puppy dog age he's running around the house with a cone and he's already a pretty clumsy dog right he runs into stuff but now he's got this cone on his head and he hits me right in the back of the calf that's like the bottom back of your leg and it hurts so bad and he's very he's not aggressive about it but he's very insistent like hey hey hey I'm gonna hit you I'm gonna hit you hard I'm gonna continually hit you hey guess what I'm still hitting you and it hurts a lot um but that's okay because he just loves that much right and that's a sweet thing what else is going on well our trampoline broke so that's no good because the kids go on it every single day and our neighbor kids go on it too dun dun dun how did it break well trampolines have these cool poles that go around that have a net somehow they broke one of the poles that's broken cool can we fix that I don't know oh but wait hey look we also somehow managed to put a rip in the actual trampoline okay trampoline is gone then no more trampolines so I have to figure that out and then we're gonna have a yard sale in a couple weeks and then I'm doing all this fun stuff for the school I got to do a virtual it was like an hour long draw along with my kids uh school it was like first graders second graders third graders they were and uh we we drew something for the art teacher and it was really fun and it was really it was a great time and I want to do that more often speaking of that I'm going to show you a little bit of a video of me doing a little bit of a thing more often I want to thank Jessica Sager she is our first Patreon Patreoner Patreonee person who Patreons I don't know how it works but it's fun I didn't say her name last time because I wasn't sure if I was allowed to but then I saw she's at the level I'm supposed to talk about her up and down so Jessica Sager you're the best everybody go to patreon.com slash natty bumper car if you want I'd love it I mean I love you regardless but I would super love that it'd be cool um and then this episode is called toe why because I broke my toe today my little toe my pinky toe on my right foot is that nice no how did I do that I stood up and I walked directly into a very heavy cabinet and it I I was on the ground I yelped I fell on the ground and I was just like rolling around like and then you know what happened of course no Rufus T. Rufus didn't show up neither did Pig but Banjo my dog he came over with his cone and he tried to love me to death

    Producer: this has been a non-productive media presentation executive producer Frank Hablawi this has been a non-productive media presentation executive producer Frank Hablawi this program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a creative commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it for more information visit non-productive.com

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  • Bumperpodcast #368 – Spicy Socks

    Bumperpodcast #368 – Spicy Socks

    Popcorn the dog has been feasting on socks – which leads to a bit of a kerfuffle, and to a potential business opportunity!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In episode 368 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar faces a crisis when his dog Popcorn develops an insatiable appetite for socks. Aloysious J. Pig breaks the news that the puppy has destroyed every sock in the house, leading to a chaotic discussion about puppy behavior and responsibility. The situation escalates when a mysterious new lawyer named Frenchie appears on the scene, creating confusion and competition with the show's resident lawyer Rufus T. Rufus. With Producer possibly masquerading as the French attorney, the episode spirals into comedic chaos. Despite the sock-eating mayhem and legal shenanigans, Natty shares exciting news about new Bumperpodcast business cards and stickers for 2020.

    Memorable Quotes

    “The weirdest part was I went into her little dog house and found a stack of papers. She had actually written up a business plan for a kiosk in the mall called Spicy Socks.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Oh, hello. It's I'm Frenchie. It's a new lawyer in the neighborhood. And I am very good at the law, the American law.”

    — Producer/Frenchie

    “Don't let lawyers get involved with your dog's dreams. Don't let lawyers step all over your puppy's plans.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #dogs #puppies #lawyers #comedy #pets #businessplans #competition #chaos

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Frenchie (Producer), Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: good good good good good morning good afternoon good evening whatever time it is that you're listening to the bumper podcast we greatly appreciate you being here and why well because there's 18 bazillion other things that you could be doing with your time but you're choosing to spend it with me and i appreciate that because i miss you guys i miss you guys a lot every day that i don't record i end up missing you did you miss me too hi pig hey what's going on bumpsy so here's the thing uh uh your dog uh popcorn was uh down in the basement need a laundry room and i'd like for you just to take a guess at what she was doing down the uh the basement is where the laundry is where the laundry room where the laundry baskets where the laundry chute is it's also where things are folded please tell me that she did not get into the socks she got she got into the socks you told yeah well so here's the thing uh nobody has socks anymore we are now officially a sock free house i don't know what it is she i never seen they eat no paints i never seen they eat no shirts but uh socks she's all about them socks don't matter if it's uh pig socks if it's bumper car socks uh old socks new socks red socks blue socks you see what i'm doing there huh so all gone i mean the sock is mostly still there but the uh the foot part gone the toe part gone okay but it is tubes you have fabric tubes all right excuse me uh this is really annoying like guys have you ever had a puppy and uh when they eat stuff all the time i think i've mentioned it before when we first got popcorn uh she's a little beagle black lab kind of cute kind of smallish about 33 pounds uh um she people were like watch out she's gonna eat everything and i was like i've had a dog at irving brown socks he didn't eat anything he was wonderful oh no no no no no no it could not have been more off the mark this dog eats everything uh the sofa she ate that a sofa couch how does a dog do that remote controls two of them shoes one two three four pairs of shoes two pairs of flip-flops i mean the list is never ending the socks after socks after socks after socks it's it's just too much um hmm so how do i handle this oh now excuse me i do believe that we have a predicament here why some sort of liturgy liturgist liturgitude lawyer talk speak if you if you catch my drift if you understand what i'm saying okay so i do i hmm hey rufus i do understand what you're saying but i don't think we need a lawyer right now at this point for the dog who ate some socks that's exactly what someone who would say who in fact very much did require having the services of someone who is scholastically trained in such situations as sock eating hey bump akari didn't wait rufus you actually went to school for sock eating law i didn't even know that was a thing well hold on a second maybe we do need them bump I know he can be a bit much, but in this situation, maybe he's going to be able to guide us. Maybe they'll actually be worth something for once finally, right? I don't know. Well, no. I think the answer is no. She's a dog. She's a puppy. We have to be better about putting our things away and making sure she doesn't get into places where she can eat things. I know it's hard to believe, but she's just a puppy, and we're responsible for her. And so we have to help her to make better decisions and not be in situations where bad stuff can happen. Now, as I was flipping through my law books here, I did come across a precedent-setting case of SOC law in which… The perpetrator did actually have to re-encompensate the affiliated members of the action in which the perpetration was, in fact, perpetrated. So what I'm saying is, son, now what I'm saying is, the law has spoken. Safe bump? It's that easy? The law has spoken. The law has spoken. I mean, case closed? No. I don't know. No. So here's the thing. When people… We got the puppy, and people said, oh, she's going to eat things. She's going to eat things. And then she started eating things. I started doing some internet research, and it was one of those situations where it was just like, how to get your puppy to stop eating things it's not supposed to. And it said to actually add… There was like this, a powder, right? A little spray. And it was a spray, but it was kind of dry when it came out, like a powder. And it was like some sort of hot cayenne, like pepper. And I was like, ooh, is that going to hurt the puppy? And so I got it, and I tried it. And just on a couple of pairs of socks. And she ran over like a bolt of lightning and ate… Like almost the whole sock before I could get it away from her. And the look in her eye, she was just like, yes. Yes, I do like spicy socks. And the weirdest part of that was I went into her little dog house, into her little area, and I found a stack of papers. And she had actually written up a business plan for like a kiosk in the mall, like those little… If you're in a mall and have little restaurants or little things in the middle, like, oh, you can get a pretzel, you can get a drink, whatever. She made a business plan, and it was really well written for a place, a little restaurant called Spicy Socks. So I don't know if I should… I mean, if this is her passion, then maybe I should just let it happen. Maybe I'm the problem here. I don't know. Now, of course, you are the problem, Mr. Bumpercar, as you always tend to be. Now, as far as these documents that you discovered, who exactly was the person who put them together? Because I do not understand, according to my log, that I was ever approached for such things. Oh, yeah. Rufus, you ain't heard? There's a new lawyer dude in town setting up shop. I don't know what his name is. It's like… I forget what his name is. It's like Frenchie or… I don't know. Something like that. But he seems like really good, and his rates are really good. And maybe he took over? I don't know. There's just been a lot… I'm just saying there's a little competition up in your area right now. I should ask Popcorn about this.

    Frenchie (Producer): Who's… What? Oh, hello. It's… I'm Frenchie. It's a new lawyer in the neighborhood. And I am very good at the law, the American law. I went through all the schools, and I did all of the things. And believe me, you are in good hands with Frenchie, me lawyer. And I will protect you. And I understood the stock law. And I can do all of the things that is… Oh, hello. This is absolute.

    Natty Bumpercar: My name is Rufus T. Rufus. And I have a lot of letters after my name because I have so many degrees, and they had to make them into letters. And I am the lawyer, imperate, in trans…

    Producer: In trans-fu-ma-si-o-ne. Yes, in trans-fu-ma-si-o-ne. Don't you try to help me now. Well, I'm just trying to help.

    Natty Bumpercar: You ain't. You're hop-stepping on my lily pad here. I'm the lawyer. I am. I am the lawyer, sir.

    Producer: Now, sir, there are plenty of rooms everywhere around here for lawyers. And I am another lawyer, and I will be the helping man to the peoples. All of these peoples everywhere.

    Natty Bumpercar: Pig, do you notice anything about this lawyer? Yeah. He sounds a lot like producer does.

    Producer: Actually, I don't think that he sounds… …anything like me, even a little bit at all, and I bet he doesn't even seem… I would agree totally with this frog man that I don't sound anything like him. He clearly has his own accent, I clearly have my own accent, and they're very far apart. I am a lawyer, he is a frog. And I am a frog, and he is a lawyer, so he's very different. I don't think that it's happening here.

    Natty Bumpercar: You know, Bumpercar, I didn't want to get back into the fray, as it were, but I do feel like I hear similarities in the voice of patterns, if you will. Maybe something I can look into as a copyright infringement. I'm going to shut this new lawyer down. Too sweet. Oh, man. All right, so what do we talk about today? There's a dog eating socks, going to open up a stand called Spicy Socks, there's a new lawyer called Frenchie, this show is off the rails. Yeah, I agree. But, here's a cool thing. We're going to figure all this lawyer-y stuff out in the back room, but neat things are happening in 2020. It's 2020, y'all. 2020. And I, we got business cards made with the podcast, and they're really cool. I'll probably post those when I post this episode. We also were getting stickers made of the podcast, and my goal for those is, is if people will listen to the show, and will subscribe to it, and will write a little review, then, you know, like give it a little rating, then that's awesome. That helps us out so much. Because as much as we… We all love getting down here and making this for you, we want other people to hear it, too. And so that's the ultimate goal. So I will let people know how they can get these stickers as soon as I kind of figure it all out and put it onto the internet webs. But anyway, I want you to know, Popcorn's a good dog. She's just a hungry dog. And sometimes puppies are going to make business plans about eating. So… That's just something that's going to happen. But what I would say is, don't let lawyers get involved with your dog's dreams. Don't let lawyers step all over your puppy's plans. She's… My puppy is smart. She knows what she's doing. She goes down to the local library. She does her research. And I'm… I'm here for her. Whatever she needs, I'm here for. Bumps, have you tried the spicy sauce? They are, uh, not so good. Yeah, I actually did try these things and was in the hospital for several days. I do not want to be involved with this business unless it's people suing, litigating against it. This place is going to fold like a deck of cards.

    Producer: Haha, you have fallen into my trap. And that is, officially you have said bad things about my client's business. That you should not have said on the podcast. I will be suing you, Rufus T. Rufus. Get your papers ready because I'll be coming for you and taking you downtown.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay, now I'm officially confused. Was that the Frenchie lawyer or was that producer? I honestly can't tell anymore. It's officially the mystery of the week.

    Unknown: Okay, well, I don't like that. You're still young and you can still lose to the送 XX. Fine, I'll give you another chance. This can't be working. When has Mia been straightforwarded on? Now I have asked Maria over time. To confirm, you now personally have made a request for your son, but you still do not yet. Have you received a copy of the contract? What do we do? Yes, Music Video Coding program. We are the same agency as Rufus. And we love agenda cool. Where'sinas? This is Chris. This is Alex.

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  • Bumperpodcast #334 – The FLOOD

    Bumperpodcast #334 – The FLOOD

    Headquarters has flooded – and not with emotions – but, with disgusting water… Join for some lamenting from the crew – and see how well your empathy muscles are working.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    In this emotional episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar recounts the harrowing experience of catastrophic flooding at his house. After five inches of rain in 30 minutes, Natty, his wife, and the puppet crew including Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, and a newly voice-updated Robot battled rising water for hours. The episode details their desperate three-hour bucket brigade moving nearly 2,000 gallons of water, a failed sump pump, and the heartbreaking aftermath of losing possessions. Natty shares raw emotions about dealing with the disaster while offering humor through the puppet characters' reactions, from Pig's tiny bucket contributions to Rufus's obsession with legal documentation.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I actually grabbed a very tiny bucket because you know I'm just a little pig with little hooves and so I can't move a lot of water but I was there to offer support to everybody.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “You know what makes me keep going? I'm pointing at you Bumperpodcast caters because you're my pals you keep me dry except for my eyes because sometimes I do cry a little bit.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Hey everybody you want to go to my new restaurant? It's called Slop House and Stink Water.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #flooding #homedisaster #family #resilience #insurance #emergency #exhaustion

    Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig

    Full Transcript

    Unknown: Oh The floods the floods the floods the floods

    Rufus T. Rufus: I am your lawyer Rufus T Rufus I was been wondering if you have any Documentation maybe a stacks of paper stacks upon stacks upon stacks upon stacks that you might have put your pronometer on your signature at the bottom of which would indicate that there perhaps will be some coverage Situation as the one that we are currently finding ourselves in

    Doodle Poodle: I think I What in the what?

    Natty Bumpercar: Robot can help me No Okay, first things first Rufus I will get to you in a second I'm sorry that I'm crying, but I'm in an upsetting situation second thing more important thing Not really, but kind of robot you sound completely different. What happened to you?

    Doodle Poodle: Somebody completely

    Aloysious J. Pig: updated my vocal Chips and so long Kind of sound like this

    Natty Bumpercar: No Stop stop stop. Okay. Thanks. What no, oh my gosh Okay, I haven't heard you on the podcast in like two years and now you have a completely different voice and it freaks me out And I'm not a fan of it but more importantly I think we should talk about what happened in our house last week because it's a very sad thing and it keeps happening and why does it keep happening and I just

    Aloysious J. Pig: Hey everybody, it's me Aloysius J. Pig what bumper cars having a tough time talking about articulating Of course is that we had a flood in our house It was an epic flood out in front of our house The road was off what and a half deep like literally I couldn't even walk in it or it's over my belly button my piggy belly Button and no one wants to see that believe you me now the river It's not even a river There's a little stream of runoff stream across the road wind up 10 feet and it became part of the road Holy cannoli right

    Doodle Poodle: Did somebody say cannoli. err err err it's me dildo poodle And I was wondering if anybody knows where this water came from Because I don't like to do đil dildos water it's not a fun thing for me to draw okay thanks hi doodle poodle hi pig hi okay everybody

    Natty Bumpercar: everybody's here great listen i'm gonna need a list from all of you of the stuff that you had that got messed up in the flood so that i can i have to give it to the insurance guy and anyway here's what happened bumper podcast we had crazy storms last saturday night and we got like five inches of rain in like 30 minutes something's in just doesn't happen type of thing and there was all this water in front of the house i think pig was talking about the street it was like a foot and a half deep and then the backyard just started filling up with water filling up with water and then there was like a river to the side of our house like it was just like water everywhere and we were watching it and then i went downstairs and i was like okay sump pump's working we're okay if you don't know a sump pump is a little hole in the corner of your basement if you think you might get water and you try to divert the water there so that a little pump which is down in the hole and the hole is called a sump don't know why but that little pump will then pump the water out to wherever you want it to go our little pipe goes out to the street the street that was underwater so the little pump it couldn't do it it couldn't push the water out into the river out there and so it started to back up right okay that's terrifying and then you turn and you look to the back of the house and you see a little pipe and it's like a little pipe and it's like a little house and there are two sinks there right by our washer and dryer and those started to fill up and not slowly like they really they were like water and we were like okay what do we do so we all

    Aloysious J. Pig: grabbed buckets i actually grabbed a very tiny bucket because you know i'm just a little pig with little hooves and so i can't move a lot of water but i was there to offer support to everybody and to really cheer the team on you know and so i was there to offer support to everybody and to know because i didn't want all that water to go everywhere i get allergies i get mold affliction i

    Rufus T. Rufus: don't want none of that now excuse me aloysius i heard you get the mold affliction i believe in my briefcase that i have some sort of documentation that i might need you to sign which will go pro facto ipso facto into the folder the dossier if you will to the loyification to make sure that any of your ailments are prescribed and entraved in a legal fashion you understand what i'm saying he fine whatever uh so

    Natty Bumpercar: the water started coming up through the sink and we all like i had two big five gallon buckets and my wife had a five gallon and like we're just running them up the stairs as fast as we can but by the time it takes us to get upstairs which i'm talking maybe a minute maybe you know like whatever it's not not much time and we're throwing the water out into the yard and we run back down getting it throw the water like up and down up and down for three hours we did this and so we were trying to figure out if we were doing 10 gallons at a time and so she was doing five so i was probably doing let's say i did 40 buckets in an hour so three hours 40 80 120 so that's 1200 gallons of water that i moved and she probably moved about six five about 500 so we're almost at two thousand gallons seventeen hundred whatever a lot of water we were running out and like the floor was getting slippery so you you get so tired and exhausted and you're trying to move all this water you get to the top of the stairs and you slip and fall and then more water would go everywhere it was a nightmare and we couldn't keep up with all the water that was coming out of the sink and so then that's just pouring into the house and pouring into the house and then the sump was over overloaded right it couldn't do anything it was trying to push the water out and it couldn't and then i kind of i didn't know what i just kind of i said i don't know if this sump pump is working and so i just shoved my hand in there and all the stuff that had been coming in through the sink was clogging the sump so i had to like clean it out with my hand right then luckily we had a friend who's a fireman and i called him and i was just like do you have they have these submersible pumps that you can put in for stuff like this and he happened to have one it was a war zone outside of my house there's like just dirt and rocks everywhere and limbs and just fire department and police everywhere and it was a nightmare city right i got the pump i got it home and we put it in and we're still like you know pushing water out getting the water out just bone tired and then

    Rufus T. Rufus: you know finally we were good for the night now when you say you was good for the night is that good in quotations i'm assuming and i'm hoping that you were able to take some sort of a shower something i wouldn't want you getting into that bed of yours all full of stink water and yucky times like that what's

    Aloysious J. Pig: stink water i never heard of stink water i feel like that's something that i could really market and sell to the pig population like hey everybody you want to go to my uh my new restaurant it's called slop house and stink water i don't know it just sounds like something that we could probably you know market put a tag on put a price on put a shell on get it on get it on you know what i'm saying like that and that's our commercial now we got a commercial we got a brand name we got a product we're going to the top with

    Natty Bumpercar: this when i feel like huh well okay so whatever so we went to bed yes i was able to take a shower thank you very much for asking rufus even though it's kind of creepy uh because we were discussed i was disgusting i was so i was covered in just horrible nastiness and i passed out at like 10 30 so tired then 4 a.m comes and the uh i went downstairs at 1 30 just because i was kind of shell shocked and i was terrified i was like i'm gonna make sure that the water's gone water was fine no water some pump was working went back to sleep 4 a.m the wife's like it came back and so we run downstairs and i was like in a dream state i was so beat up tired and i got downstairs and we had another six inches so the first time we got like 15 inches right the second time we got six inches uh luckily we were able to save the water heater and the uh furnace barely like by an eighth of an inch which is not very much we had to have the firemen come the policemen they came and they checked it out to make sure the pilot light wasn't uh off or whatever because then you got just gas coming into your house and then your house can blow up which i didn't i don't want my house to blow up and um the policeman when he came i forgot i was on the top of my steps and it didn't even register in my brain but i was talking to him he was down on the on the sidewalk and i was talking to him eye to eye and then he got up on the steps next to me he was probably seven foot four he was very tall and i was so tired and my brain just didn't know and i went wow you're you're really tall huh and he was just like looked at me like what do you what do you what do you want what are you talking to me for and i was like i don't know you're in my house this is weird i'm tired anyway we come downstairs and he was like why did you call and i was like i thought i was supposed to call because i called 911 and he was just like is it an emergency and i was like yeah my basement's flooded and you know because the last time five years ago our basement flooded for completely different reasons we had an oil tank in the draw under the driveway when we bought the house and when they removed it they excavated which means take out a lot of dirt right because there was leaky oil so they had to fix it they filled all that in with uh gravel but they didn't cap it off they didn't put new uh driveway on top of it for like two months and the water came in that way so this is a completely different situation but we've had floods before and that time it was right after we moved in and so we were using the basement as kind of a staging area and it was really that time was so heartbreaking because we lost everything we lost like all of our wedding pictures and just old mementos and so so much art and stuff and it was it was terrible this time it was terrible also but just for different reasons just for the exhaustion of it like did we lose stuff yes you know we lost a big pile of stuff there was a crib there was a vacuum there was this there was that whatever just stuff um you know you just kind of take pictures of and throw away but it's just it's more the mental anguish of it and then i was talking to somebody and i joke you not this was his reaction to it and it was somebody in a position of power and he went well i don't understand why didn't you just fix it this is like this is not a question that you ask of someone when they're going through a tragedy and bumper podcast caters this was a tragedy this was a horrible miserable bear in mind there are people who have it much worse than we do that did not make it out like their whole houses are wrecked like we got off fairly easy fairly well thank goodness right but there are some people who didn't but he didn't know that and i was like so affected by that and i was like i was like i was like i was like i was like i was like i was like offended i was just like all right and i just had to walk away because i was just like i don't even want to have a conversation with this person because i'm already tired enough but you know what makes me keep going you know what makes me happy i got you know what i'm doing right now i'm pointing at you i'm pointing at you bumper podcast caters because you're my pals you keep me dry except for my eyes because sometimes sometimes i do cry a little bit thank you so much have the best day

    Unknown: and thank you for watching you

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