Tag: n.bumpercar

  • Bumperpodcast 124 – Missed Opportunity

    Bumperpodcast 124 – Missed Opportunity

    This is officially the first “What could have been” Bumperpodcast of the year … You see – we were going to talk about kittens and squirrels – and then the big computer broke – and then the little computer wouldn’t accept the audio doo-hickey – and then I went and took a long bath.

    I think that something was recorded … I am considering just making vinyl records of all of these and mailing them to listeners …. Or – writing everything out with ghost ink.

    Have you ever made a vinyl record or written in ghost ink? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and maybe we’ll hire you.

    You could live in a cave!!

     

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar battles technical difficulties after recording what he claims was a phenomenal episode about kittens that was lost to corrupted audio. The recording sounded like garbled computer noises instead of his stories about kittens playing with rainbows and eating honey. After witnessing the magical performance, Robot, Reindeer, and others left depressed when the recording failed. Natty desperately troubleshoots by unplugging wires and switching computers, eventually recording on a laptop in his lap. He laments missing the chance to share his kitten and squirrel stories, joking about mobile podcast recording and police officers becoming unwitting stars of the show.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I literally i took the headphones off and i said it's gold and i walked out of the room and everyone just stared at me and they were just like we just witnessed something that was magical”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I was like oh kittens are awesome kittens play with rainbows kittens love to eat honey i don't know you know i was just talking about kittens”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The police pulled me over several times to tell me hey no more recording your mobile bumper podcast and then I say but officer now you're a star”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #technicaldifficulties #kittens #recordingproblems #comedy #metahumor #technology #podcasting

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right so this is supposed to be the dawn of a new age remember we were having audio problems a couple of weeks ago and so then today i went to record the bumper podcast and i actually recorded this phenomenal one about kittens so you're missing that and i feel bad because i recorded it and i literally i took the headphones off and i said it's gold and i walked out of the room and everyone robot was here at the time reindeer was here uh the baby was here like everyone they just stared at me and they were just like he we just witnessed something that was magical like i was effervescent i was on i was on top of my game i was over the top it was phenomenal and so then i went back to listen to it and here's how it sounded me

    Robot: me me me and i was like

    Natty Bumpercar: i'm pretty sure that i because i have a memory that lasts for at least five minutes and i remembered that when i recorded the podcast that it didn't sound like that that i wasn't speaking in computer ease i don't i don't speak it i can understand i you know it's one of those things where if i'm like oh and then i can be like oh no that's on a computer i know what they're you know i know they're at least oh they're talking about me because i can tell because they're pointing and laughing but i don't necessarily know what they're saying but i know i don't yarn are saying but i didn't sound like that i was like oh kittens are awesome kittens play with rainbows kittens love to eat honey i don't know you know i was just talking about kittens like me was the saddest thing ever me that's why no one's here right now because everyone left because they were so depressed so i know they couldn't do it right now i'm like i'm like yeah i'm loves a can軍 straight as fuck well so i'm not going to give up the song because army is deadindi on the egy dragon just to say all right there was going to german and then they all're gone but for me so then I go and I start messing with wires and unplugging and plugging and all that stuff and then I don't even think my computer can do it anymore I think it's so sad and old that it can't even record the bumper podcast so then I moved this other computer and it's in my lap and that's weird it's a it's a whole it's a different thing that we're doing I guess with this lap computer so I don't know it's a little different it's certainly not a it's not the kitten day it was supposed to be and not only that there was a story about squirrels I was literally talking about kittens and squirrels and now all I've done for the past two and a half minutes is meank about uh wires and microphones I thought I was gonna go have to buy new stuff I can't buy new stuff new stuff is expensive and then we would have just had uh mobile bumper podcasts for a while and nobody likes those especially the police you they've pulled me over several times to tell me hey you no more recording your mobile bumper podcast and then I say but officer now you're you know you're a star

  • Bumperpodcast 89

    Bumperpodcast 89

    Robot is the new assistant around Headquarters and Natty Bumpercar is putting him to work printing and marking on pieces of paper. Today is spent looking through letters and emails and letting you – the Bumperaudience – in on the stuff that people have sent in.

    If you would like to potentially have your words read and edited by Robot, then please send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and we may just oblige!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In episode 89 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shuffles through a massive stack of papers prepared by his new office intern, Robot. The papers contain listener emails and letters covered in confusing highlighter marks and annotations. Natty attempts to read feedback from the Bumper Podcast audience, starting with a harsh note demanding he "make it shorter," which hurts his feelings despite the show only being three minutes long. The episode humorously explores Natty's relationship with his overeager robotic assistant and his attempts to connect with listeners, ending with a bizarre email consisting only of the word "hippos" repeated.

    Memorable Quotes

    “What i've done is i've made a robot my office uh he's my like he's my intern… he prints things out he goes through with markers a lot of the times the marks don't make sense he just marks things.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Make it shorter? Three minutes not that long, not that big of a commitment, and from what i've heard we bring the funny. Make it shorter really kind of hurts my feelings.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #robot #listenerfeedback #officehumor #emails #podcastmeta #hippos

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: finally finally finally finally finally finally how's it going everybody i am natty bumper car what you hear me playing with there is a big stack of papers papers that have been printed out papers that have uh uh lines in them red lines on this one this one has some orange things highlighted green highlights and i don't i mean like honestly what i've done is i've made a robot my office uh he's my like he's my intern he's the new intern really is what he is he helps me out he prints things out he goes through with markers a lot of the times the marks don't make sense he just marks things he just puts marks on wherever he wants to and that's fine a couple of things it does it keeps him really busy so he is nowhere near the uh the studio what did you just hear my voice it just did something crazy all right like this i don't know what's going on uh it also gives me things to look at like so for instance this pile of papers these are emails i suppose yeah there's a couple of emails and oh some regular old letters i'm just going to that these have just been piling up and i i never remember to bring them to you or if i do then some sort of shenanigans happen and i'm not i don't have i'm not allowed to uh actually uh relay them to you and i feel like part of the bumper podcast the most important part i'm gonna say uh is you that's right the bumper audience is that is that your name do you need a name i'm gonna let you guys figure out the name i don't know that bumper audience is really what we should stick with obviously this is the bumper podcast i'm natty bumper car this is headquarters make something up send it in that's fine what's it uh bumper podcast at natty bumper car.com so right off the bat here this little email and i'm just gonna i'm gonna go by what robot's done i'm gonna read the highlighted part it says uh show is too long make it shorter um all right and robot has actually written a black line through the name so i don't even know who this is from uh make it shorter you know uh three minutes not that long not that long not that big of a commitment uh and from what i've heard we bring the funny make it shorter really kind of hurts my feelings uh if this one's on top i'm kind of nervous about what is on the inside i'm just gonna skip a few because make it shorter uh kind of threw me for a loop i wasn't expecting it right off the bat like that uh this one right here it's just the word hippos over and over

  • Bumperpodcast 88 – Reading Pirate

    Bumperpodcast 88 – Reading Pirate

    Pirate takes over the Bumperpodcast and is about to have a jolly old time – at least until Robot shows up to give a lecture on the importance of reading.

    Hopefully someone else will come in to moderate this fierce debte … on today’s Bumperpodcast!

    Don’t forget to email us at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com with your rigamarole!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast 64 – Rude Bears . . .

    Bumperpodcast 64 – Rude Bears . . .

    There is someone at the door banging away . . . could it be a rude polar bear? Why would I even think that was a possibility?
    Listen to find out today – on the Bumperpodcast!
    Don’t forget to email me your questions, musings and whatnot at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.
    Hooray!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar deals with an unusual cold snap at Coffee Can Alley headquarters. A mysterious vortex of cold has attracted polar bears who keep knocking on the door, causing Socks the dog to bark incessantly. Natty recounts a bizarre encounter with a particularly rude polar bear visitor wearing boots who engaged in some truly disgusting behavior. This short comedy episode features Natty's trademark storytelling style and absurd humor about arctic wildlife with questionable manners.

    Memorable Quotes

    “this polar bear was wearing a pair of boots which i thought to be interesting but you know maybe it was because it was so cold”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “he started chewing on his nails right in front of my face how gross is that”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “he took off his boot pulled up his foot and started chewing on his toenails”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #polarbears #coldweather #coffeecanalley #dogs #neighbors #manners #absurdcomedy #headquarters

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car your best friend in coffee can alley and other places if you'll have me we gotta turn this music off though really quick somebody's at the door shut the music off we don't want them nowhere here shut them off come on robot come on oh thank you this is much nicer and quieter you guys it's been really really cold around coffee can alley especially around headquarters i feel like there's a vortex of cold that is surrounding headquarters right now what we've been getting is a bunch of polar bears that just come up to headquarters and they just knock on the door like that repeatedly i don't know if you can hear them but that makes socks the dog bark that's right irving brown socks the dog he barks when somebody knocks at the door especially if it's a polar bear did you hear him he doesn't like it when people knock especially polar bears can i tell you why well here's the story bumper podcast by the way it's nice to see you i should tell you that i actually broke away from other important things i'm supposed to be doing right now to talk to you you don't have to say thanks or anything but i do hope that you appreciate it because we certainly appreciate you anyway back to the story at hand one day this polar bear comes knocking on our headquarters door just like that knock knock knock knock knock and i didn't know at the time and so i went and i answered the door because you know maybe he was a neighbor in need of some sugar or some milk or something or whatever polar bears need i didn't know i did look out of the peephole though you should always look out of your peephole bumper podcast if someone knocking at your door because you don't know who it is me i answered the door when it was a polar bear which doesn't make a whole bunch of sense but you know that's fine so this polar bear was wearing a pair of boots which i thought to be interesting but i guess it was because it was so cold that he was wearing boots so it made a little bit of sense and while he was talking to me can i tell you what this polar bear did he started chewing on his nails right in front of my face how gross is that right in front of my face you come to headquarters knock on my door make my dog bark and then you start chewing your nails your polar bear nails right in front of my face that's ridiculous bumper podcast you should never do that and so i said excuse me could you stop that you know what he did he took off his boot pulled up his foot and started chewing on his toenails

    Unknown: and then he took off his foot and started chewing his toenails

  • Bumperpodcast 63 – Meetings . . .

    Bumperpodcast 63 – Meetings . . .

    Meetings and meetings and electronic mails and video chats and face to faces and telephone calls . . . Man! Life around Headquarters has gotten nutty-busy!

    But – then – there is a glitch in the show when I realize that I can no longer say my own name . . . Was it one of the meetings that I had? Was it something that I ate?

    Listen to find out today – on the Bumperpodcast!

    Don’t forget to email me your questions, musings and whatnot at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Hooray!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In episode 63 of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar finds himself in a bizarre predicament when he suddenly can't say his own name properly. After a series of business meetings involving press kits and website changes, Natty discovers the surprising culprit: his name is in the process of being trademarked. The episode features Natty's hilarious confusion as he tries to figure out what's happening, while also revealing that fan-favorite character Pig continues to steal the spotlight at live shows. This short comedic episode showcases the absurdist humor that makes Bumperpodcast a unique comedy experience.

    Memorable Quotes

    “People come up to me at shows and they say, is pig here? Will we be seeing pig tonight? Some nights I say yes and they're very happy.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “My name is in the process of being trademarked. What?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #trademark #identitycrisis #businessmeetings #liveshows #pig #website #presskit

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: well well well if it isn't the bumper podcast it's so great to see you like i'm really thrilled i'm also really tired i'm not gonna lie to you it's been a busy busy few days busy doing what well i had some meetings and i talked to some people on the telephone and i sent some people some electronic mail you know all the normal stuff that a bumper does wait a bumper why can't i say it anymore my name is this is the bumper podcast okay i was able to say that i talked for a while and then it's uh me me Wow that is strange i evidently can't say my name anymore let's go back over those meetings that i was having and see if maybe one of them could have possibly messed with how i say my name is that even possible is that something that can happen i don't know let's see i uh i had a meeting you With someone who said, you know, he said, hey, here's what you need to do. Hey, here's what you need to do, my friend. He said, press kit. Make a press kit. That's fine. Makes sense. Make a video press kit type explaining thing. That also makes sense and seems like great advice. Change your website. Your website isn't doing it, which is depressing because that makes me tired. Having to think about changing my website. It exhausts me. But I don't think that has anything to do with my name either. We also talked about pig. Everyone loves pig. I'm not going to lie to you. People come up to me at shows and they say, is pig here? Will we be seeing pig tonight? Some nights I say yes and they're very happy. Some nights I have to say no. Cinnamon the horse is here. Maybe he's going to. Have you met my friend Yitkin the moose? Maybe he's going to entertain you. What other meeting did I have that would have messed with my name? Going through my papers here, shuffling through. Ah, here it is. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, bumper podcast. My name is in the process of being trademarked. What?

    Unknown: Thrill the opening of Yeng . . . .