Tag: miscommunication

Bumperpodcast #452 – Season 3 – Invoices

Join Natty Bumpercar, Pig, Rufus, and Producer in this hilarious Bumperpodcast episode all about invoices! From chaotic billing to quirky misunderstandings, the gang tackles the world of invoices in their signature absurd style. Tune in for laughs, lessons, and lots of laughs as they navigate the paperwork jungle!

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About This Episode

In episode 452 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and his puppet friends attempt their first musical episode in ages with hilariously chaotic results. Producer kicks things off with a song about bees, but Aloysious J. Pig and the crew struggle to keep the rhythm. What starts as an improvised musical number quickly derails into a discussion about libraries, with Rufus T. Rufus sharing his love of reading and the stacks. The episode takes an unexpected turn when the gang discovers a shocking financial reality: none of them have been sending invoices or getting paid for their work on the show for the past 15-20 years. The revelation leads to comedic accusations and stammering explanations as everyone realizes they've been working for free.

Memorable Quotes

“if i could be a bee i don't really know let's see what kind of bee would i be would i be an a b or c or d or e what all these letters they all rhyme”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“gonna learn gonna learn gonna learn in a library gonna learn gonna learn i love to read books”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“you hear him stammering everybody's getting nervous you hear him stammering he doesn't even know what he's saying at this point yeah nobody stammers quite like a guilty man”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #music #improvisation #libraries #books #business #money #workplacecomedy #miscommunication

Featuring: Producer, Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

Full Transcript

Producer: if you could be a bee what kind of bee would you be if you could be a bee what kind of bee would

Aloysious J. Pig: you be i guess if i could be a bee i don't really know let's see what kind of bee would i be would i be an a b or c or d or e what all these letters they all rhyme i could just be like e d g c e whatever t m doesn't rhyme though no okay hold on i'll get back okay yeah uh weird

Natty Bumpercar: uh we haven't had music like a music bed a music background in so long and evidently we've forgotten how to do it because that we started off pretty rough off beat uh we went with producer i thought was a pretty brilliant because it was nice and simple um rhyme scheme um and and really i thought kind of a nice idea for a song and then leave me out of this okay i couldn't figure it out i was close yeah yes you and i know normally you you don't like feedback and you don't want to hear this no i don't i don't yeah you we oh that was not great i listen i how was i supposed to know that we were going to jump

Aloysious J. Pig: right into a song we haven't had a song in in a long time and so you know you hear this the the podcast start it's got the squeak squeak squeak squeak and then all of a sudden boom bang we're in a song with producers starting yeah i don't know if that's ever happened producer never starts a show

Producer: yeah i'm sure that at some point in the show that i've probably started it but i i can't recall i don't keep notes or anything but it's nice to have a song it's nice to have a beat so i can dance along and i can sing along let's go let's go let's all party down let's go let's go let's party

Aloysious J. Pig: all around so you start you you listen i like that you're committed to the bit and you're like you're like we're gonna have music we're gonna i'm gonna sing a song and i hope that everybody just ignores uh how everything started that's great that's listen you're you are committed you are all in and i appreciate that and i appreciate you producer this is a fat beat i love to listen to this beat as i'm sitting on my seat no no you know it's

Natty Bumpercar: i remember yeah i don't know that was i i don't i think we could probably you we don't have to sing i mean it's nice to have a music bed underneath this um i feel like it adds a little layer of texture and fun but um i don't think that it it forces us into a position where we actually you know have to have to have to sing yeah hey nutty it's me

Aloysious J. Pig: rufus t rufus and i listen to that we ain't had music in a long time i guess the court paper the filings went through and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna sing a song and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna in the office and all the wheels that were greased and everything so that we can lift the embargo and put on a track or two of of of rapitude drum drum drums i got some drums i don't say no this is why i don't really usually take over here drum drum drum drum i i yeah again i tried it again and i and i failed again but that's okay that's okay we're learning we're learning we're learning yeah we're learning oh everybody's learning here we go over here and here we go over there okay to do what i don't learn to do what to learn in a book in a book i love libraries

Natty Bumpercar: i'm listen everyone i think that rufus who never comes in and sings might have had the best singing part so far the gonna learn gonna learn gonna learn in a library gonna learn gonna learn i love to read books gonna learn but yeah yeah no that was that's a catchy one and i think it's it's very much needed at this point um that we lift up uh our our local public libraries and um you know tell people tell people what's up i love the library i like to just walk into a library and all the books they're called they're called the stacks because there's their shelves and they're back in the stacks okay i'm gonna go back in the stacks and and but you second you walk into a library it just has a feeling about it i i always think it just like it it's it feels like you're in a different world almost in a different time and and the smell of the books has always been so intoxicating to me and just wandering around and and looking at all the different titles and all the different sizes of the books and all the different colors of the book like the the spines and everything

Aloysious J. Pig: is is is is wonderful yeah um did are we is this all just library stuff now because i i mean i can i can do that i uh went to a library once and they said that they they wanted a show and they hired me and uh they stuck me in a room with what i don't know it must have been two three hundred kids and uh i was like okay what do we what do we have a plan and they're like well we hired you you have the plan and i was like okay uh how long how long do i need to stay in here for and they they they said forever and then they shut the door kind of in a menacing way and uh the second the door shut all the kids their heads just turned slowly and locked on to me and then then and hold on a second don't say anything don't say anything all right good point good point good point yeah i i feel like the litigation on that whole situation is still uh pending it might you know still we're just awaiting a decision um did you ever get a uh uh paid for that for that event uh no i don't know hey uh i don't usually do the money stuff hey natty do you know if uh if i got any checks coming in anything you know a pig needs new shoes

Natty Bumpercar: all right well first off you i've never seen you wear shoes um so that's important uh secondly no i don't see any checks do you know um did you send in like the invoice after the show did you email it or mail it or drop it off

Aloysious J. Pig: or anything what do you what i don't know what's that uh what's that word in a voice like an inside like an inside voice what i don't know how does that how does that pertain let me take this and that is sir aloysius uh the invoice um now that's where you're going to uh line item uh put everything on it that your time you know you had to buy some uh crops maybe some water uh you know uh as the case and i can't get into it but you know higher security um because of uh people getting a little bit too uh interested in our business you know there's a few different uh but you put all that on the invoice give them a total and then they know what to pay you wait what is this why i've never been paid is this why i've never seen it in i thought that you you just had some sort of a savings account for me so that i could one day i don't know go to college uh get my own place or you know start my life with with a with a so never we've never never gotten paid

Natty Bumpercar: anything no i this is a bad miscommunication i thought that you guys were handling a like rufus you usually handle the invoices so now hold on a second hold on a second before you start

Aloysious J. Pig: shining the light on me i i i'd appreciate if you if you kept me in the dark if it's as it were now listen i invoice you uh constantly still haven't seen a lick of cash from that yeah but i don't i don't invoice for everything else for everybody else so

Natty Bumpercar: yeah you definitely invoice me constantly i have a stack of papers that just seems to keep growing constantly like all the time all the time those papers they grow all the time um okay wow so if aloysius if you're not sending out invoices i haven't been sending out invoices for stuff either um has anyone gotten paid for anything well so what i do is i've been keeping a tally

Producer: of all the hours that i've worked and then i went on the internet and i said um you know what is a reasonable amount of salary for for for my position and so i'm just kind of keeping track and i was hoping to settle up with you at some point you know when when we can maybe we sell the bumper podcast and we're just rolling in all the money wait so i guess you're playing like the really

Aloysious J. Pig: long game we've been doing this for like i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't know i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't know 20 years or something like that i don't i don't you know what you cut you keep on with your notebook and your tally and keeping track you do that you do that uh uh producer i think it's all gonna work out for you oh boy no let's see here hold on uh i i know i've been paid for some outside services i outvoiced those but the insert internal invoices i don't believe uh i've ever uh collected on on anything uh i have to think about i you know what i'm gonna go talk to my financier and and finance see if i have any finances yeah i hope i do yep it's gonna be a bad day if it if if there's not i'll tell you that okay so it's gonna be a bad

Natty Bumpercar: day but a bad day for who like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know are we saying a bad day for me i so we're all in the same boat i've never gotten paid for anything sounds like none of you have ever gotten paid for anything how do we get paid all right sir

Aloysious J. Pig: who's supposed to be paying us well i don't want to uh you know single anybody out um but your name is on on on the shingle your name is it's the bumper podcast naughty bumper car you live in headquarters coffee can alley all that you know there's a lot of stuff there so uh i'll take it over here uh so ipso facto i believe that means that all all all of the funds need to be coming out of out of your wallet natty so i guess when can we expect this situation to be rectified i wait i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know

Natty Bumpercar: i'm rectified i'm just now finding about this the same time you are right so how i not a good topic for the podcast but something that we should definitely figure out and something that we should definitely look into because i think we all just thought that something was happening that wasn't happening and so now we have to get to the root of that the of the problem

Aloysious J. Pig: and i um you're stammering you hear him stammering everybody's getting nervous you hear him stammering he doesn't even know what he's saying at this point yeah nobody stammers quite like a

Natty Bumpercar: guilty man natty are you a guilty man what no i'm not guilty i'm i feel like i'm a victim in this whole thing too how am i guilty what did i didn't do anything except maybe mismanage all the money for the last 15 years so wait a minute

Producer: am i ever going to be able to buy a lily pad in paradise or am i just stuck here pushing knobs and buttons for the rest of my life

Robot: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and fun to watch and i'm so excited to be here with you and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced by natty bumper car and is produced by natty bumper car at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow us on social media at natty bumper car dot com follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

March 20, 2025
Bumperpodcast #448 – Season 3 – Apples

In this episode, Natty Bumpercar, Pig, Producer, and Rufus dive into the wild world of apple picking, only to get hilariously sidetracked by the challenge of cracking the mystery of metaphors versus analogies. You won’t want to miss this laugh-out-loud episode, brimming with the unique humor and charm that makes the Bumperpodcast a must-listen!

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About This Episode

In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig complains about the indignities of apple picking, from overpriced cider donuts to being directed to eat slop from a trough. Doodle Poodle shares his nightmarish farm experience involving an impossibly long port-a-potty line, while Natty Bumpercar tries to mediate. Rufus T. Rufus jumps in to defend his friends and accuses Natty of victim-blaming, before confusing everyone with the phrase "hotter than a bucket of rice." The gang debates whether this strange expression is an analogy, metaphor, or idiom, and Rufus storms off after mishearing "idiom" as an insult. Despite the terrible farm stories, Pig inexplicably announces a team pumpkin-picking outing, leaving everyone baffled.

Memorable Quotes

“hotter than a bucket of rice”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“I stood in line for like 45 minutes to get some apple cider donuts and as soon as I got to the front of the line they said sorry sir but you're gonna have to go over there to that trough”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“wait the whole episode was about how the apple picking and you hated it and the bad things happened… this is pumpkin picking totally different”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #applepicking #fallactivities #farms #teambuilding #grammar #miscommunication #pumpkins #autumn

Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer

Full Transcript

Aloysious J. Pig: so then i was like apple picking why are we gonna go apple picking we're gonna pay somebody to go to the to their field right and and and and they got trees and and there's a lot of families around and they're like posing and they're wearing the flannel and uh we're gonna pick up some apples we're gonna what pull them off the tree oh look this aisle here this is the crab apple aisle oh what's that one over there oh it's the pink lady aisle i don't well what why why am i gonna

Natty Bumpercar: do that well but it's like it's fall and it's a wonderful like team building exercise type of

Doodle Poodle: thing where i actually do not want to go as well on the last time that i was on a farm um bad things happened to me you know it was like a bad situation like all the way around

Aloysious J. Pig: yeah okay so you're a frog okay i'm a pig and you want to talk about bad situations at farms do you know what they tried to feed me the last time i went to one of these things slop okay it's just slop i went i was i stood in line for like 45 minutes to get some uh apple cider donuts and as soon as i got to the front of the line they said sorry sir but you're gonna have to go over there to

Natty Bumpercar: that trough well what are you kidding me so that was a bad situation and i i agree now in in defense of the person you didn't speak like you were just staring at them holding a bag of donuts and i think that you

Rufus T. Rufus: confused them maybe scared them now hold on aloysius hey everybody it's me uh rufus t rufus and aloysius you don't have to say another word because what mr bumper car over here has decided to do is victim blame you see he sits up there on a high perch looking down at the rest of us and just casting his judgment oh you did it wrong you know it wasn't a bad situation you did it wrong and so aloysius if you would like

Natty Bumpercar: i can handle this whole situation hi rufus and i hope i wasn't doing that i if i if i did if i was i'm very sorry it wasn't intentional i was just trying to add a little bit of perspective a little bit of background to the story because i was you know there and i ended up actually having to purchase the bag of donuts after uh aloysius threw them on the ground and stomped on them and walked away so i spent five minutes in line spent eighteen dollars on a bag of donuts and then um they were ruined and the thing is they wouldn't even let me go back out and grab another bag so i would have bought two you know the ruined ones fine i'll pay for that but then i would have gone out and gotten you know some that i could eat but they would not let me and

Doodle Poodle: anyway anyway okay bad situation bad situation yeah yeah okay so if we're all telling our bad situation stories then i want to tell mine as well you know because um the one i went to and i'm obviously really heated right now i'm very angry but it was this giant farm and they had inflatables and they had a corn maze and they had all kinds of fine stuff oh look at that look there's face painting everything and they only had one port-a-potty and i had the goal and the lime just stretched the entire way through the corn maze and over to this snack stand no it's just not not fun it was a bad situation for me

Aloysious J. Pig: sounds like it was a terrible situation it sounds like uh it was a poorly managed uh festival or whatever you know you was at i mean one port-a-potty oh you're lucky though you're lucky you didn't stand in line the whole time and you get up to the actual port-a-potty and somebody's like oh sorry frog you gotta go over there you know find yourself a swamp maybe a little bit of a trip but i'm not going to go over there i'm going to go over to the

Rufus T. Rufus: lily pad or something like that yeah now we are really creeping into uh kind of a territory that i call you know you could say it's a bias like people are biased against uh pigs or frogs or you know whatever it may be and uh there's there's actual now laws in the books of laws about such things and uh you know i'm not going to go over there i'm not going to go over there i'm not going you know if you ever run against any of this stuff you gotta let me know because i will be there

Natty Bumpercar: hotter than a bucket of rice okay yes that is what it kind of sounds like and it sounds like a terrible situation but also and i agree that you should go to rufus or myself or somebody and we can try to help but also you really threw me off at the end when you said hotter than a bucket

Aloysious J. Pig: of rice is that what we went with yeah i never heard hotter than a bucket of rice i heard uh as confused as uh three little mice but i don't think i think that's probably for a different situation

Doodle Poodle: yeah yeah i've never i've how do you get is there a bucket hot or is the rice hot and if so is it like cooked rice or how do you get the rice to be hot and is it like steaming hot or is it just like you know is it like a stir fry kind of situation or did you go somewhere with your bucket and maybe they put hot rice in it like what is what exactly are we doing with this here

Rufus T. Rufus: the more i hear you talking about it the more confused i'm getting because i you know hotter than a bucket of rice i don't know if that's exactly the uh the simile or the homily or the analogy or the metaphor or the whatnot or the what for or the whatever that i wanted to say and i'm not even sure that it did the job that i needed it to do and i'm not even sure that it did the job that i needed it to do of conveying exactly what i was trying to get across yeah i don't if you if you catch my drift

Natty Bumpercar: well i think that is actually i'm honestly very proud of you that you were able to let us know that maybe the thing that you said the random confusing thing that you said watch it now yeah sorry sorry sorry uh but the thing that you said that maybe it didn't make sense i think we need more of that on this podcast i think and we have to figure out a system not that we like call everybody out on everything but at least acknowledge that sometimes random stuff comes out that derails the episodes and and doesn't entirely make sense even a tiny bit um and also um i'm trying to figure out how to do this i'm trying to figure out how to do this i'm trying to think is it an analogy a metaphor uh hotter than a bucket of rice yeah i don't know uh yeah i

Aloysious J. Pig: weren't trying to think were you were we gonna hire whatever happened to you were gonna hire that uh grandma wizard i think it was he came and he put in his application the best application i've ever seen it was like perfect but whatever it's

Natty Bumpercar: is that still just floating through hr or something it's we're trying to figure out compensation just all this stuff but yeah we would very much love to have a grammar wizard here to um because i know like an analogy is like a comparison of things i think like uh i don't know i can't think of an analogy this is like that no and a metaphor is uh like if i'm like uh pig you have a heart of gold i think it's a metaphorical i think

Doodle Poodle: i uh i mean i don't know i'm really confused i i i don't want to step in here because i know it's not usually my part but um i think that the bucket of hot rice is more of like an idiom

Rufus T. Rufus: what what did you just call me i will not accept it not even not on air not on the podcast not even if we was just sitting across the table from one another mr frog you take it back he said idiot yeah well i got ears and i'm sitting right here now you're gonna come come come jumping in i offered to help both of y'all earlier with your situations at these these farms and now all of a sudden you're throwing around uh you know insults i i i i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm

Natty Bumpercar: what i'm gonna do good day to you all all right bye bye no he's already gone all right that was just confusion you were saying idiom which i think you might be right producer um but you know again i don't really know i'm gonna go just out on a limb and say uh that that i have no idea really whatsoever

Aloysious J. Pig: uh anyway uh so did everybody uh to see the the flyer that i i put one up in the uh in the kitchen i put one up next to the door to the bathroom and i and i you know i i sent it around in the uh into headquarters uh messaging and but i didn't get any response so did everybody get the get the

Doodle Poodle: get the flyer that i made i i haven't checked my inbox but i i will and let's see here recording recording and okay oh look at this what is what is this it was it's a

Aloysious J. Pig: thing i'm putting together it's like a team building episode size but we're gonna actually go pumpkin picking we're gonna go to a a field we're gonna get pumpkins so that we can put them

Natty Bumpercar: out for fall wait the whole episode was about how the apple picking and you hated it and the bad things happened no no no i don't understand it's it's a bad thing i don't understand i don't understand

Aloysious J. Pig: it's a completely different situation from apple picking all right this is pumpkin picking totally

Doodle Poodle: different totally totally totally oh my brains

Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloe vicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

September 25, 2024
Bumperpodcast #444 – Season 3 – Characters

Join the uproarious fun in Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, the top-rated improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners in stitches. In this laugh-out-loud episode, A bunch of random people sneak into the studio and record a whole bunch of nothing. As the gang navigates this confusing and comical conundrum, their quick wit and dynamic interactions deliver endless entertainment.

Listeners are in for a treat as the characters dive into absurd scenarios, blending the sweet and the surgical in ways only the Bumperpodcast can. The episode promises a delightful mix of spontaneity and humor, showcasing the unique charm and chemistry of Coffee-Can Alley’s most beloved residents. Tune in to this side-splitting episode and join the fun as Natty and the crew bring their trademark humor to the most unexpected topics. Don’t miss out on the comedy gold—hit play and enjoy the Bumperpodcast!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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Transcription

Natty Bumpercar 0:00
I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.

And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.

Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

About This Episode

In episode #444 of the Bumperpodcast, chaos erupts when Natty Bumpercar and his friends apparently break into the studio and start recording without permission. Security guard Rufus T. Rufus (nicknamed "Lighthouse") discovers them mid-recording and demands to know who they are and why they're there. What follows is a hilariously circular conversation involving Doodle Poodle, Aloysius J. Pig, and Natty as they try to explain themselves while simultaneously getting distracted by grammatical debates, the origin of nicknames, and whether certain words are appropriate to use. The episode showcases the show's signature improvisational style as the characters talk in circles, interrupt each other, and turn a simple confrontation into a absurdist comedy of miscommunication.

Memorable Quotes

“I'm also not sure why you decided to hit record and start recording, however, this is the studio inside of Hellfire Headquarters inside of Coffee Can Alley, where Natty Bumpercar lives and records the Bumper Podcast. So, again, I ask you, why are you here?”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“I've never had a nickname growing up, you know. I always wanted one, but I kind of knew that you can't just, like, give yourself a nickname. You, people have to give it to you.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“The reason we call you Lighthouse is cause you're big and tall, right? And you're always flashing your flashlight all around… And we know that if we see Lighthouse that we're like a safe harbor.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #miscommunication #nicknames #security #studiointrusion #grammar #improvisation #confusion

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysius J. Pig, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so here's the the thing here's the the thing here's the thing that i've been wanting to talk about for a long time why don't you just get on in there and talk about it then because it seems like it's your chance to talk about it so why don't you just get on in there and just start talking about it if you want to talk about it well if you insist i guess i will talk about it because to me it's been something i've been thinking about for my long time and this is something i just want to get off my mind and off of my chest and off my ass because i just been caring about for so long yes exactly here's the thing everybody out here is looking to you now to drive this episode you see you're the first one who talked and so you've laid the groundwork as it were for the whole episode so whatever it is that you want to say please get on what we're supposed to talk about what we're not supposed to talk about it's just like it just appeared it came in here stop telling us what to do but i don't know what you're supposed to do either so i'm not going to tell you what you're supposed to do listen here my clitter clatter little friend i'm the one who's in here to give it a little bit of structure a little bit of control so are you in or are you out are you with me or are you again me

Doodle Poodle: no i'm not so sure exactly if i'm would You mean again, again, you, over you, or to you, or from, from, from, from, from, from, from to you, or either or, or either and, or, please don't get mad at us, we're just trying to figure this whole thing out.

Natty Bumpercar: So, neither, neither, nor, we, I don't tell you the truth, I don't remember what I was wanting to talk about, you know, with everything, and so if that screws everything up, I don't feel like I should be the one having to take responsibility for everything, because I don't, you know, I just sat down here and started talking, you know, all y'all been talking about. You're more than me, so am I the one who all of a sudden has to take control of this?

Rufus T. Rufus: Now, I'm the one who's going to actually be taking control of this, um, I'm not sure how you got into the studio, I'm also not sure why you decided to hit record and start recording, however, this is the studio inside of Hellfire. Headquarters inside of Coffee Can Alley, where Natty Bumpercar lives and records the Bumper Podcast. So, again, I ask you, why are you here?

Natty Bumpercar: Well, now, I don't feel like I need to answer to you, because I don't even know who you are, but this is, we came into this room on an internet… …computation, and I was just going to sit and sit, come in here and do your thing, and so we came in, we pushed play and record, and then we started doing our thing, but, you know, I don't, we don't really have a thing as a problem, and so we just kind of jibber-jabbered a little bit, and I don't, you know, I just don't know what's going on. Speak for yourself, sir, I came in here with a plan, an absolute plan, and I know exactly how to achieve… …my plan, and I know exactly what I will be doing each step incrementally, moving my plan forward, if not for this giant oaf, my plan probably would have already begun.

Rufus T. Rufus: All right, sir, I don't know who you're calling an oaf.

Natty Bumpercar: Yes, I was, I was speaking about you, Egg, when I, uh…

Rufus T. Rufus: Okay, I kind of figured that you were talking about… …me, because you seem to know everyone else in the room, and you did look at me when you said it, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure, and, um, just, you know, I am a tall guy, like, I, you know, I'm large, but that's why I'm running security here, and just, just because I'm big doesn't mean that I'm thick-skinned, or invulnerable to insults, all right, I'm just a person here doing my job, and, you know, I walk into a room… room there's people in there that i've never seen and and and i feel like i'm just being uh objectified and mocked and i'm just trying to put food on the table for my family and and and i i did not come here to be treated like that well i didn't come in here to see nobody like that either

Natty Bumpercar: because i didn't want nobody to feel bad i was just following along here with all these friends of mine we just came in here and we just wanted to hear of course we wanted to do some recording to just make a podcast so i apologize myself because you're just a family man you're just coming in here you're just trying your hardest you don't know us we don't know you you don't know how we got in here and so i understand completely when you're like who are you you know so i'm just okay with that okay i hope you're okay now too and i hope i'm okay because i don't want any scuffles and duffles and ruffles boys boys boys oh and who exactly are you

Rufus T. Rufus: yeah i'm the security guard i i saw the light was on and so i came to investigate and then i don't the all these people were here and recording and you know messing with the equipment and uh who exactly are are you is should be my question because i'm uh you know theoretically in charge,eno

Aloysius J. Pig: okay well i'm do you have a name first off

Rufus T. Rufus: Pretty sure that i don't have to give you any of my information as i'm the one who works here and you're with these people who have broken in to the studio

Aloysius J. Pig: Now now now Ha I don't want to start throwing around words like broke into the studio.

Natty Bumpercar: Now, my English is not as perfect as everyone else's in here. However, when you say throw around a word like I thought it was just going to be break-in or something, but you used the entire sentence. Is that something that is allowed grammatically? If I'm saying if you're going to throw around words like robbery, burglary, what you understand, cheese or whatever, those are words that can be thrown around. But if we're going to come in here and say, oh, this entire cohort of people has come in and are going to be rummaging through the waste bin and probably having some sort of a silly party and using all of the equipment. It's because they got locked out of their, I don't, you know, I just, it's, I just need a clarification on that if you could.

Aloysius J. Pig: Oh, I can. So here's the thing. You're being, um, what's the word? Pedantic. And that's where you're just kind of focusing in and honing in on the wrong parts of what I'm saying. Which is strange. Which is strange. Because we're supposed to be on the same side. So why would you decide to take time out of my conversation with this gorilla of a gentleman and try to pick apart what I'm, I'm trying to say? I just, in my mind, I just don't understand. If you get my drift.

Natty Bumpercar: Well, I understand what you're saying and what you're putting down. And so I agree with you. And, you know, I'm, I'm thinking, uh, these old things, there's just so much understanding. And I'm just going to scoot on out of here and just, you know, go back to where I went from whence I came. So, uh, it was wonderful seeing everybody. I'm glad I got to talk to everybody. And, uh. Um, uh, hi there, everybody. Hey, Lighthouse, I got your message. What's going on? What's your situation? Who are all these people? This is very strange. You called him Lighthouse, as if that's his name.

Rufus T. Rufus: Well, it's more of a nickname. I don't know where it came from. I don't know why they started calling me Lighthouse. But, you know, I just kind of sounded cool. And so I just kind of ran with it. I've never had a nickname growing up, you know. I always wanted one, but I kind of knew that you can't just, like, give yourself a nickname. You, people have to give it to you. Um, problem being, I guess, if it's a, if it's a cool, nice nickname, well, then good for you, right? But if it's kind of not a nice, kind of a mean, uh, nickname, then how do you get rid of it then, you know? Because you can't just walk around and say, like, oh, hey, don't call me that. Because then they're just going to call you that even more. It's just, uh. Guys. It's just. It's just, society is difficult. Can we agree on that? Can we all come together and just agree on that one thing?

Natty Bumpercar: Bro, how long have you been waiting to get that out? Um, yeah, let's, let's all agree to come together. Okay. Um, the reason we call you Lighthouse is, is cause you're big and tall, right? And you're always, you're flashing your flashlight all around, right? Like a, like a, like a lighthouse. Cause you're looking around, I guess. And, um. And you, you, you, we, we know that if we see Lighthouse that we're like a safe harbor, right? We're in a safe space that you, you know, you're going to be there and around to, uh, protect us and everything. So it's, it's a term of infect, of infect. I didn't say, it's not a term of infection. It's a term of affection, uh, that we call, we call you Lighthouse, you know? So just, I hope you don't mind it. I hope you like it, uh, regardless. Yeah. As you just said. You're kind of stuck with it. So just keep rolling. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Who in the heck are all of these people in here? Well, I'm pretty sure you can't just go around screaming by. You can't say that. I don't think you can say it. Can he say all of these?

Aloysius J. Pig: I don't, I'm just gonna, I don't know. No, actually, I do not feel like it is appropriate. I do not feel it is nice. It is an old term for people from the hills of like the Appalachian Mountains. And I don't think that you can just walk around and start saying that about people.

Natty Bumpercar: Actually. That's rude. Well, it's, it's, I understand where you're coming from, but you might not know this, that the word actually is Scotch. He's a Scottish in origin. Wait, are you supposed to be Scottish?

Producer: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon. . . .

Unknown: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

June 7, 2024
Bumperpodcast #433 – Season 3 – Bagel

Welcome to the Bumperpodcast, the uproarious improvised comedy podcast set in the whimsical world of Coffee-Can Alley! In this hilarious episode, beloved characters Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and Doodle Poodle are in for a wild ride as they welcome the quirky and tech-savvy cousin of Producer, Engineer. Brace yourself for laughter as Robot makes a memorable return, adding to the comedic chaos that unfolds.

Just when you think things can’t get any wackier, the confusion reaches a new level when Natty unexpectedly stops by at the end of the episode. As the gang navigates through a series of unpredictable and humorous situations, you’re in for an entertaining rollercoaster of laughter and confusion. Don’t miss out on the fun and adventure in this unscripted and laugh-out-loud episode of the Bumperpodcast!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

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About This Episode

In this chaotic episode of the Bumperpodcast, Producer brings in his cousin Engineer to help fix the podcast equipment that hasn't worked since being recovered. Things get hilariously complicated when Aloysious J. Pig demands to understand the bizarre frog naming convention system in Producer's swamp, leading to an absurd argument about bagels. Engineer accidentally plugs in Robot, who had been intentionally unplugged, and Rufus T. Rufus inadvertently makes Robot cry when explaining the situation. Meanwhile, Doodle Poodle tries to make sense of everyone's strange behavior, and Pig keeps threatening to call Rufus "Mr. Bagel" despite his heated protests. The episode showcases the show's signature improvisational chaos and character dynamics.

Memorable Quotes

“Well, it kind of depends because as an engineer is just telling you, like when he was born, he was called a producer, but then they had to look and they found they'd produced, I was already a producer.”
— Producer

“You can call me bagel one more time, producer. I'm going to talk. We're going to have a talk.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“I haven't been here in a long, long, long time. But I heard you were talking about bagels.”
— Robot

Topics: #equipmentmalfunction #family #namingconventions #bagels #workplacecomedy #technology #miscommunication #frogs

Featuring: Producer, Doodle Poodle, Aloysious J. Pig, Robot, Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Producer: so you know i don't want to talk about it too much but we do have a bit of a situation here you know it's kind of serious and i feel you know it's kind of uh hey producer it's me doodle poodle

Doodle Poodle: i just wanted to talk to you let's see what's going on because everybody's acting kind of weird

Producer: yeah i guess i do agree with everybody's second first round you know what is going on and how everybody's acting and it's it's i don't i don't really have much of the background but you know it's kind of a little bit yeah what do you do producer you know you can't say that word you

Aloysious J. Pig: know it's gonna oh come on a second oh it's like it's like bees to honey somebody you okay so just forget forget you heard forget you heard anything okay we're just trying to i don't know we're getting the equipment back set up we're trying to figure these things out because all the you know the the plugs and the dials and the bells and the the the the the the belts there's bells and there's belts and uh nothing's working it seems yeah so ever since we got the equipment back

Producer: nothing is a is a has been uh working and so i actually uh if you don't mind i apologize but i brought my cousin in and he's gonna i think maybe do a little bit of help with us

Aloysious J. Pig: we're getting everything i said well now i hope we don't do we have a contract with this cousin of yours do we have to pay any kind of uh anything you know because i don't know if we have uh any money in the coffers and not to be uh hiring outside help is what i'm trying to say yeah you

Doodle Poodle: know i don't think we're supposed to hire any because we don't nobody does anybody get paid here nobody gets paid here do they please to please tell me nobody gets paid i i've never gotten paid

Producer: hi everybody it's me i am a engineer i am a producer's cousin it's wonderful to meet all of

Aloysious J. Pig: you what in the world is going on in that swamp is everybody just like uh you're a producer so you're gonna be a producer you're an engineer so you're gonna be an engineer and how does that because it seems like it gets confusing because somebody says oh hey hey it's you your name is engineer and then you don't get confused are you gonna be like uh a choo-choo uh on the train engineer are you going to be you know how does this all work well you know these a lot of frogs

Producer: you know the ted pose and every season there's a there's really a big number of us frogs that they're kind of coming to the world and so the only way they figured out how to make it make any scenes at all was if they were like okay you know what this this one's going to be a baker so we're going to call him baker and then this one over here is going to be um really good at the drums and so we're going to call him drum drummer drummer i guess drummer yeah and so you know just to kind of keep everything up okay okay hell what what producer said is true um so i um was was born and was called producer wait a minute and uh it didn't work out because my cousin yeah he was already producing and so then they changed me over to be an engineer what can i help you with uh

Aloysious J. Pig: wow your your speech patterns have they are they're very interesting now uh what i'm trying to figure out here so if i was a little tadpole and i was a frog and i was i was i was i was born i sit Y'all are born, is that how it works?

Producer: Yeah, of course we're born, of course, yes. You know, that works, okay?

Aloysious J. Pig: So if I'm born, do I already have my hat on? Do I already know all the legalese? Are they just going to call, you know, Frog Rufus? Are they just going to call me a lawyer or something like that?

Producer: Well, it kind of depends because as an engineer is just telling you, like when he was born, he was called a producer, but then they had to look and they found they'd produced, I was already a producer. So what we do is, you know, if you were born and there's no lawyer, then, you know, you could be the lawyer. But if there's a lawyer, then you're not the lawyer, okay? You could become, I don't know, like Mr. Bagel. You make the bagel. They go, I love bagel. You go, okay, I guess I'm going to make the bagel.

Aloysious J. Pig: That don't make no sense. I don't even, I don't even, I don't even, I don't understand bagels. I don't like bagels and I just, I refuse. I don't want to be bagel. You ain't going to call me bagel. You can call me bagel one more time, producer. I'm going to talk. We're going to have a talk. Settle down, big guy. Settle down, okay? Nobody's calling you bagel. And that was just a scenario that producer was trying to explain to you that if there was already a lawyer, then he just kind of came up with a random thing. Also, what is your problem with bagels? I don't understand. What's your beef, huh? What's your damage, huh? What's getting your blood hot, huh? I can't think of any other answer.

Producer: That's all I got. I was just looking. I was looking because I was communicating and evidently we don't currently have a bagel man. So, you know, if you do want to be a bagel, then you can be a bagel, I suppose.

Aloysious J. Pig: I don't, why are we even still talking about that? I was told that that was a scenario that was made up just to expose, a situation, structure that is inevitable and equitable in frog land. And I'm not a frog. And I am, I'm Rufus, T. Rufus. I'm a lawyer, clearly, a man of the law. I am a book learned and ready to go into a courtroom and assert myself. But I, again, I do not like bagels. Oh, come on. And I would not appreciate. Y'all calling me a bagel. All right. And I just do not do it. All right. Cool. So I guess we're not going to call you bagel. Okay. But what I don't, what I've never heard anyone get so agitated, so angry about a bagel. Like, what is your problem? Bagels are delicious. Do you know how many flavors they come in and how much stuff you can put on those flavors? I mean, it's, it's, it's limitless is what I'm saying. And, oh, whoa. There's like crisps. They're kind of, you know, hot on the outside where they boil them. And then on the inside, they're just so warm and just delicious. And are you kidding me?

Robot: Hey, everybody. It's me, Robot. I haven't been here in a long, long, long time. But I heard you were talking about bagels.

Producer: Wait, wait. No, no. Stop. Somebody likes a bagel. You're a specialist. You're supposed to be unplugged, Robot. Who, who, who, who de-unplugged you? Who plugged you in and who, why, who, who woke the robot up is what I'm saying. Now, I may have, might have, could have been the one to plug him back in, you know? But why would, you can't just go, you're, why you can't just go around plugging robots in and all this random stuff. You know, we have a set list of things. We have a set list of things that we do need help with, all the podcast equipment. But I, why are you, you can't just plug in all this, like a robot, and you don't even know anything about these robots, right? All I know is that I'm an engineer, and I saw a piece of machinery right over there, and it was evidently not working. And so I said, you know, I think I see how to fix this. And then I just plugged it in, and look at this, all of a sudden. We have ourselves a little robot now, don't we?

Robot: Oh, we sure do. Thank you so much, engineer. I wish you were here the whole time. Because then, I would have been working this whole time, and I would have been on the podcast.

Aloysious J. Pig: Now listen, I'm not saying we're, like, on a strike system, or demerit, or whatever. But that has to be one strike. Against your cousin, producer, because… Well, I, hold on, I can, uh… With all due respect, robot, uh, we, I don't, I can't even say it. No, that's not a, that's not an issue, that's not a problem for me, because I can say it. As the steward of this headquarters here in Coffee Can Alley, as the, uh, the lawyer here at Bumper Podcast, you know, I'm… Here to tell you, robot, that, uh, well, um, you were unplugged intentionally, and, uh, you know, without this engineer frog coming in, I don't know if you would have been plugged back in. I, I don't even understand.

Robot: Why, why would you do that? I thought everybody liked me. I thought that the Bumper Podcast was a nice place where everybody…

Aloysious J. Pig: Great job, Rufus. Great, great, great, great, great job. That's like six greats. You made the robot cry. And you know what happens when robots cry? Now I gotta go get the oil can so it doesn't rust up. So, I, I'll be back, but this is… Okay. You know what? It is what it is. Okay. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. Um, what's going on? Pig? Where, where are you headed? It's a long story. Robot's back. Uh, this is engineer, producer's cousin or something, and, uh, Rufus made robot cry, and then there's tears, which means… That you have to go get the oil can. I totally understand.

Unknown: Hi, daddy.

Aloysious J. Pig: Hi, robot. How's it going?

Doodle Poodle: Oh, if we're saying hi, it's, hi, daddy. It's me, the little fool. I haven't seen you in a long time. What'd you like for me to make you… Hi, doodle poodle.

Aloysious J. Pig: Wow, we have, uh, everyone here, huh? We've got doodle poodle. We've got robot there. Hi, Rufus. Yeah, I don't think it's in my best interest to say hello, to say anything anymore in this, this particular hanging out episode, whatever we're doing, because, uh, you know, uh, oh, the robot's crying. Oh, Rufus is, you know, he's a, he's a, he's a Mr. Bagel. What? I don't even want to be part of nothing, okay? Wow. Oh, well, okay. Um, wait. We're, we're calling you Mr. Bagel now?

Producer: No, you know, under frog law, you know, he is, he's already a lawyer, and so, you know, we're gonna be, he's gonna officially be Mr. Bagel. Who are, who are you again? Ah, nothing. This is my, uh, cousin. He's an engineer. He's going to help me with some of his equipment and whatnot.

Aloysious J. Pig: Now, did somebody say something about frog law? I don't know nothing about no frog law. Well, great. It looks like we're in another predicament, and all this talk about bagels has me starving.

Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded. Mixed and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. And hearts. See you soon.

Unknown: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the Non-Productive Network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives License. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

Robot: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Bumper Podcast. We hope you enjoyed it. If you enjoyed it, please subscribe to our channel, like us on Facebook, and leave a comment. And if you want to see more of our past episodes, visit our website, nattybumpercar.com.

Unknown: We'll see you next time. Bye for now.

July 28, 2023
Bumperpodcast #415 – Season 2 – Field Day

Natty reminisces about field day. Rufus and Pig reminisce about food!

The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

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Aloysius J. Pig 0:04
Okay, first things first, I really got to say hello, radio Fremont class today, we’re really happy you’re here and we’re happy that you’re gonna stay, and yada yada yada that you hit a play hip hop array, right? It’s me. I was just jpg.

Natty Bumpercar 0:22
Okay, yeah, sorry. It’s me. Natty Bumpercar started to start to step on you like that big no problem. How was Did you practice it before? Because it doesn’t sound like you did.

Aloysius J. Pig 0:32
I? Well, I was freestyle. And that’s what you do. And it’s what you in the bass. It’s what you do. You know, you you come up onto a hot mic and you’re like, Oh, I’m gonna spit some bass. I’m gonna say I’m gonna, you know, I got some rhymes. I got some bars. Bars. I’m gonna. I’m gonna give it to the people right now. Gift. I’m gonna give you the gift of my words.

Natty Bumpercar 0:54
The gift of gab from Okay. Well, great. Thanks. Hi, radio. Fremont glare. It’s me Natty Bumpercar Here. This is the bumper podcast. It’s a weekly podcast, but we are lovingly working with radio free Montclair and giving you guys first dibs at the episodes. So if you ever want to go back and listen to any of the other hundreds of episodes, just look up Natty Bumpercar and the bumper podcast. And you’ll have you will have things in your ears for a long time, which is a good thing.

Aloysius J. Pig 1:29
I don’t know. I

Rufus T. Rufus 1:30
know not. I decided everyone. This is me. Rufus to Rufus. I’m a lawyer here for the bumper podcast and I don’t really dip my toe into marketing because I feel like that’s the dark arts. I feel like it’s mystical, magical stuff that I don’t want to be involved with. But I think probably seeing people you will have stuff in your ears is not the best

Aloysius J. Pig 1:55
tagline. Yeah, well, I did go to a restaurant once. And on the front it said welcome to this restaurant. When you leave, you’ll have food in you.

Natty Bumpercar 2:07
Okay, so it wasn’t even like we’re friends meat or anything. It was just your you are gonna have food in you. At least it was food. It wasn’t just like your belly. Oh, have something some something.

Rufus T. Rufus 2:19
I just I used to eat when I was a boy child I used to eat at a restaurant called something something and whenever you go in, they’d have a special of the day. And I’d have to say is it’s a young man, what would you like to eat today? And I’d say you want to order the spreadsheet you just say add like little salt and salt. Yeah. And then you’d get it they’d bring it out to you or whatever it was for the day.

Aloysius J. Pig 2:43
I can’t believe you used to go to some some I’d ever do ever have to some some SassaFrass souffle. Oh, it was some magical stuff. Well, okay,

Natty Bumpercar 2:53
before we start, this is great. You guys are going down memory lane. But before this is actually an episode kind of about memory lane. Not restaurants. But about field day because this week it’s Field Day at the kids school

Rufus T. Rufus 3:08
Aloysius. I’ll talk to you on the side about something some I really feel like we could probably open a franchise around here. Can you imagine the lines? People I think people be nervous at first but then once they get a taste Yeah, they do. They’d be right in they have some some special all day all day long Swan songs on special running song some special with extra gravy.

Aloysius J. Pig 3:31
I mean, yeah, I think maybe we could do that. Put our focus on some some and move away from this old podcasting because this is a guy you go ahead and talk about your field day.

Natty Bumpercar 3:44
Okay, cool. Um, I love that I’m the backup plan now. So anyway, I remember growing up with field day, and you know, it was we used to do things like three three legged race and I don’t know like water balloon toss, and there was like a giant jump rope and everybody that would be spinning and you’d have to jump the rope and whatever. And it was a tug of war. I remember very specifically in tug of war it was it was on an asphalt blacktop and my team last but not only last, but like we I don’t know how the people pulled us and drugged us across the blacktop is what I remember. And

Rufus T. Rufus 4:30
I remember the tug of war now. So remember, at my school, when I went back to the schoolhouse, the school mom would say, everybody, it’s time for Field Day, and we’d all get very excited. But you understand I’m a little bit older than you and I grew up in a more rural area, aggregate farmers whatnot, and for fun for us Field Day was and they would just send us out into the field. You know, go on out into the field. Now

Aloysius J. Pig 5:02
that’s so funny because where I grew up, I grew up on a farm because I’m a pig and all you know, and for us, everyday was field day the way they’d say, We they’d feed us they still eat. So we like to say, Okay, I’ve got to the field and we had just one sheep. She would say, oh, it’s field day, you get all excited. I’m like it yesterday was good. Like, tomorrow is gonna be field day. Every day is field day. We’re on a farm.

Natty Bumpercar 5:33
Okay. So obviously, you guys, your experiences are very different from my experience, like because I was a kid in school.

Rufus T. Rufus 5:42
I’m pretty sure I indicated that I was also a young young living child in a school. I mentioned my school mom. Yeah.

Natty Bumpercar 5:51
I agree. So but the so the difference is, so we had like, you know, a playground and we would play like dodgeball, which was super fun. And there was we played like, capture the flag, and just all kinds of silly races, like, egg on a spoon.

Aloysius J. Pig 6:10
I know, I know, we’re not supposed to talk about something, something you already told me that. But they had this thing on the weekends, it was called the egg on a spoon. It was delicious. It was like this deviled egg. And it was right on the spoon. Right. So you didn’t have to like pick it up and get you know, that egg goop on you. It was just right down around the spoon. And so you’d say like, Hey, can we get an appetizer of egg on a spoon and then they bring you out I think there was six or eight or whatever. And on a on a little platter. And all the eggs are on different spoons. And so then everybody could just reach in grade the spoon, an egg on the spoon, but sometimes the egg would actually fall off and you’d lose it so that’s that’s so funny because that’s exactly what the egg on the spoon race is given deviled eggs to children who are outside that sounds like a good recipe for for some some stomach

Rufus T. Rufus 7:08
issues. No, no, no,

Natty Bumpercar 7:09
no sorry. So they’re not even they’re not real eggs. They’re just like plastic eggs like, like you find it Easter or whatever. And but they go on on spoons, and so they’re kind of slippery. And it’s a relay so the kids have to run back and forth with the egg on the spoon. The spoon drops you have to bend down, pick the egg up, put it back on the spoon and keep going until your team wins. There’s a lot of there’s a lot of team activities that feel

Aloysius J. Pig 7:34
it sounds like a it’s like a team building exercise or their trust falls and stuff like that. I think Hey, Rufus, do you think we should have a field day for the for the bumper podcast? Like maybe get everybody together and have I mean wouldn’t be many people obviously yeah, we could I don’t know we could try

Natty Bumpercar 7:51
so there’s no trust falls in grade school. I don’t and that’s the saddest thing is like field day pretty much in grade school like it doesn’t happen I don’t think maybe it does in middle school and stuff but it’s why why not just keep having field days everybody loves Field Day kids freak out for field day because it’s so much fun because it’s very low stakes but there’s also competition and and and who wins everybody wins because it’s Field Day

Rufus T. Rufus 8:24
sorry Aloysius I was over here looking through our contracts and what actually it is this is page 14 section eight subset F which I guess could stand for field day where it says that we are actually not allowed to participate in sporting activities as a group that’s no good. Yes and No of course unfortunately you know that this what this came from correct

Aloysius J. Pig 8:55
Ah wow, I didn’t even think about it. It’s just because in a time that Doodle Poodle Okay, everybody let somebody say

Doodle Poodle 9:05
hi, it’s me. I was just over in my studio making say to every party her podcast what

Producer 9:27
do the Buddha Nature me i producer and nothing as stepped out. I don’t know where he went exactly. But every day the gang here was talking about Field Day. And then reverse suggested that perhaps we should have a bumper podcast Field Day and but then he was looking through some papers and evidently there was

Aloysius J. Pig 9:51
it was an episode there was a thing that happened and we tried feel that’s such a section If I can’t remember exactly who was not sure Okay

listen, doodle poodle everybody has put it behind you. Everybody has forgotten and we’re gonna move on and I’m sorry that you were even brought into this this was actually you know this is honestly a mistake obviously. And you go back and do your totals and everything is gonna be okay

Doodle Poodle 10:25
I just want to make sure that everybody’s not mad at me or nothing though guys I’m still pretty sad about everything that happened and I want everybody to forgive me but I’m not gonna

Producer 10:42
send you some kind of upset don’t ever you should come down do you don’t need all everything is going to be a girl Hi

Natty Bumpercar 10:50
natty hey did I do to poodle just walk past me in the hall and he seemed a little bit upset is everything okay?

Aloysius J. Pig 10:57
Yeah, we were talking about field day and somebody said his name and then he came in but then he seemed like he got kind of upset and yeah,

Rufus T. Rufus 11:06
I saw him as well. Where you got to do to someone referred to the incident because you know we were contractually we’re not supposed to talk about the incident

Producer 11:15
i May I might I may I might have said something but I tried not to be specific at all. I didn’t want to upset him I am feel bad now that if he’s upset we were having such a nice episode talking about the restaurant restaurant and the fate of day memories. By the way in the swamp school where I went because I’m a frog we had a beautiful field. Oh, that’s good. Lily. Lily pad from toss

Natty Bumpercar 11:44
you play frog toss but your frogs what?

Aloysius J. Pig 11:46
None of this makes any sense to me. Hey, we’re a real fish you want to get out of here.

Rufus T. Rufus 11:51
Let’s go talk about something some French Ah, all

Natty Bumpercar 11:55
right. Well have fun it Field Day.

Outro 12:09
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

NonPro 13:29
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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June 11, 2022