Tag: halloween

Bumperpodcast #465 – Season 3 – Tomato Soup Can

Natty Bumpercar discusses his frequent distractions, likening himself to a squirrel chasing shiny objects. Rufus T. Rufus humorously corrects him and shares nostalgic stories about using tomato soup cans, contrasting with modern conveniences. The producer mentions technical issues with new equipment. They debate the timing of holiday-themed episodes, with Rufus criticizing early Christmas displays. Natty suggests making their Thanksgiving episode late, mimicking stores’ early holiday promotions. The conversation meanders into a humorous tale about a classmate named Artie Doyle, who aspired to be an author, and the absurdity of his nickname “Tomato Soup Can.”

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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About This Episode

In episode 465 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar admits he's been distracted again, leading to another delayed episode. Aloysious J. Pig calls out Natty for trying to do a Thanksgiving episode a week after the holiday, just like their belated Halloween episode. Meanwhile, Rufus T. Rufus launches into an increasingly absurd story about tomato soup cans from "back in the day," claiming they contained just one whole tomato and required opening with a goat's horn. The rambling tale somehow connects to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, whom Rufus claims to have known as "Artie Tomato Soup Can" in school. Producer struggles with the new podcasting equipment while the characters debate holiday timing and question whether any of Rufus's stories are remotely based in reality.

Memorable Quotes

“What is the bumper podcast about? It's about me being distracted, it's about me forgetting I have a podcast, it's about me seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“We're gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday. It's the opposite of stores when you go in and it's November and they got July 4th stuff out.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“We would take a can, tomato soup, because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time. We would use the goat and his horn and pop that can of soup open.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #distraction #thanksgiving #halloween #nostalgia #tomatosoup #storytelling #holidays #podcasting

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Robot

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so i've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often i think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the bumper podcast about and i say it's about me being distracted it's about me forgetting i have a podcast it's about me uh seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there and and they all require me to uh you know at least give them some of my attention which then does take away from everything else in my life and and that's fine right that's how life it's

Aloysious J. Pig: how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro bro hey it's me aloysius jpeg uh you're not a squirrel okay you're like a uh i'm gonna guess middle age probably past middle age uh person who uh talks into a microphone and uh it's a squirrel thing you know like let the squirrels be the squirrels let you do you sorry my voice is a little off today i might i might have caught a cold or something i noticed that um hey everyone it's

Producer: me i'm producer uh so i think part of the problem this week is it's my fault because we have this really fancy um do that uh technical term that we have on the board we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has um uh slide slidey do's you know the slidey do's and um a screen and uh well i keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on uh not not working not working at all

Aloysious J. Pig: now wouldn't you hear everybody this is uh myself rufus to rufus aloysius i think whatever you got i might have caught as well oh that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at i'm sweating all the time it's too hot i wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so uh you said that this new system it's got some slidey do's now and i told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey do's and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when i was originally doing podcasts back in the day uh i don't you know i don't i know you youngins don't like to hear when i say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we were in podcast what we would do is we would we would uh we would take a can uh tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time uh chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and and we would eat it you know for supper uh one can per family per week and uh we would save up our cans and uh clean them out all good uh and here's the thing when i when i was when i was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you can just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of riley is what we're living we actually had to take a a rock or maybe a a knife sometimes we could take if if if the goat would let us we take the the goat and we'd use his his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open pop like that and then but the edges it'd be very jagged right so we couldn't use them for our projects until you're on okay sorry you're on a real roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what you what's going on and i do want to come back i want to circle back i want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the the goat all these things sounds very interesting i'm sure it's gonna really draw in the uh the listenership but uh let's focus back over here real quick on on on natty yeah what what has been so distracting to you that you uh have have uh yet again

Natty Bumpercar: forgotten what you're supposed to be doing i um well i i also i i want to i think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know uh i was thinking about it and you know we had i think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the uh we should make this our thanksgiving episode and no uh producer i don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but i um

Aloysious J. Pig: producer don't answer that so listen up natty the the halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after halloween and now we are again a week after thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know because in a way i was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh i kind of had fun on halloween i kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's november and they got july 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's i don't want to say what's wrong with the world today because there's a couple of things but i think one of the things is putting out christmas stuff um on february okay that's way it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait i was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in november oh well i i should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in april in may right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and the it's all it's all messed up yeah now now you're talking about it start living in the past you know we just was kind of back in my day uh so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it wasn't the way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't i still had the green thing on top right the core i guess it's called they say it says on the can it says uh uh there's tomato soup ready to make or something like i forgot what it was but it was you know right now they used to have these pre-planned meals people get on these uh plans and then and then the box will come over to the house and i guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like uh almost like uh what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that

Producer: we had yeah yeah hold on rufus so i think we're going to we're trying to this year's again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but i think we're still trying to fuck but i think we should oh okay no we're gonna stick with the soup yeah perfect perfect perfect

Natty Bumpercar: okay my bad i'm sorry no not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getting off the soup but now the soup has become a tomato in a can um so the precursor to these uh home delivered homemade meals or whatever they're called so wait so rufus tomato got it in a can one tomato any specific kind of tomato did it have like uh like a season packet like anything like that you know like sometimes when you get ramen soup it'll have like the the flavorings are actually there in a packet uh in in the can in the well it's like wrapping cellophane or whatever no um no no was that was that in there no no it was it was nothing

Aloysious J. Pig: in the can except for the for the tomato right and here's the funniest thing that we that was like a philosophical question we always had y'all y'all heard about the chicken and the egg i assume right which came first nobody cares but what we want in school we were trying to figure out is how did that tomato get into that can that's okay you're following me that's what you were trying to figure out sorry natty uh i mean the the tomato was put into the can before the can was closed and then the can was closed i mean that's how much how much time we spent in school trying to figure out this big mystery out uh uh oh sir off the conan doyle i am assuming you guys were not what you just made a

Natty Bumpercar: okay uh for anyone who doesn't know that's a weird pull aloysius i didn't know that you sir arthur wait sir r arthur arthur that's a hard word to say sir arthur author author arthur wait no i can't do it sir conan doyle sir

Aloysious J. Pig: jc doyle what is that so his his name so you can cut off the sir right because when i when i when i grew up with him his name was arty so a r t i don't know a r t y r t i e arty arty doyle uh he you know before he got all fancy and hoity-toity but he he stood up one day in class and it was it was not the day that we were discussing the tomato in the can but i remember arty he said you know one day when i grow up when i grows up that's what he said when i grows up because that's how we talked back then we added s's on things you know like we say like look at all those sheeps which we didn't have to do because it's just one sheep anyway arty stood up one day in front of the whole class and he said listen up y'all my name's arty doyle when i grow up i'm gonna be an author and i remember somebody in the back classroom they yelled out you're gonna call yourself arthur and he got so flustered so so red in the face that believe now it comes back oh everything comes back somebody said hey look at old uh look at old arty tomato soup can red in the face that stuck with him his whole life arty tomato here he comes here comes arty tomato soup can oh man the way i look back i can't wait to see him at the reunion no arty it's just tomato soup can whatever happened to him anyway he's you're talking about him over there it is anything that you say based in any kind of reality that you have ever talked about real in any form, in any fashion, in any way? You're telling us that you went to school with Arthur Conan Doyle, who was a very famous Arthur. Wait, now I messed it up too. Arthur. Arthur was an author. Okay. Yeah, got it. You went to school with Artie Doyle. Somebody named Artie Doyle. I can give you that. That part I can accept. But now you're telling me that he stood up, this Artie Doyle, in front of the class, completely separated from the fact that there's a famous Arthur who made up Sherlock Holmes, and he said that he was going to be an Arthur? No. Yeah, it's Artie Tomato Soup Can Head Feast. I forgot. Artie Tomato Coop Sam Mace Place. I got confused.

Robot: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Unknown: Bye.

December 2, 2025
Bumperpodcast #464 – Season 3 – Halloween

The Bumperpodcast episode revolves around the hosts’ reflections on missing Halloween due to busy schedules and the subsequent confusion about the current date. Natty Bumpercar expresses his love for Halloween, while Aloysius J Pig and Rufus T. Rufus discuss the logistics of returning Halloween decorations and candy. They reminisce about a group costume theme and the challenges of dealing with return policies. The discussion also touches on the transient nature of seasonal stores and the idea for a podcast exploring the history and disappearance of such stores.

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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About This Episode

In Bumperpodcast episode 464, Natty Bumpercar discovers he's completely missed Halloween after getting too caught up in organizing a comedy festival. Rufus T. Rufus reveals that while Natty was busy, the gang went to a Halloween party as a "country breakfast" costume group—with Rufus as a biscuit, Aloysious as orange juice, and someone as eggs and bacon. They even won the costume contest! Now Natty is left with a room full of Halloween decorations, bobbing-for-apples equipment, and no way to return them since the pop-up Halloween store has mysteriously vanished. The episode features hilarious discussions about the ephemeral nature of seasonal Halloween stores, the stress of return desk interactions, and GPS robots with attitudes. Producer suggests they move on to planning the next holiday: Thanksgiving.

Memorable Quotes

“I was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween. I've never been gravy. I've never been a condiment.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“We did a group costume. I was eggs and bacon and Aloysious was orange juice… you were supposed to be gravy but you never showed up to the party.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“I went back to the Halloween store and it was gone. Like tumbleweeds in the store. Gone. They just appear out of night.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #halloween #holidays #costumes #timemanagement #shopping #seasonalstores #comedyfestival #thanksgiving

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: well happy halloween it is halloween finally man my favorite holiday of the year bar none i i love everything about it i love the candy i love going out and finding pumpkins and and carving up the pumpkins and turning them into jack-o'-lanterns and and what what how what really how did oh come on hold on sorry hold on natty it's uh actually almost middle of november at this point i i know i yeah i know i know i understand i like halloween a lot too but it was weeks ago it was like a long time ago i don't know if you fell asleep i don't know what happened i know you've been really busy because you're always telling everybody just how busy you are but uh yeah i hope i got the receipts for all these costumes and i'm looking around the room here we got uh uh decorations we got is that a bobbin for apples we got we got to return all this stuff we can't sell if we ain't having a uh what is a halloween episode right now then what am i what why did i go to the store and and purchase all this yeah how is it how is it middle of november we should probably could have somewhere in here have any kind of indication as to what day it is i yeah no i see the calendar on the wall over there that's from 1987 so that that's not helping me right now okay that doesn't do anything good at all man two weeks ago i completely missed everything i missed halloween

Rufus T. Rufus: yes yes it was a long time ago i um we actually we did a group costume right and um i was um it was i was eggs and bacon and aloesius was um orange juice it was and then uh the rufus what were you a scone or an oh no yes you were a biscuit that's right that's right and so we were like a we called ourselves a country breakfast you were supposed to be gravy but you you never showed up to the party and so we we missed it and it's yeah but we we it was a lot of fun yeah i think that's right well we can't do a halloween episode now okay we gotta move on to the future there's a lot of other holidays that are coming up that we need to acknowledge and represent and you know do everything for so uh yeah we let's just we have a lot of episodes left so let's just put the halloween on the shelf and sorry i hurt my back there for a second uh and then we can uh move on to maybe the types of giving or something we can invite turkey to come

Natty Bumpercar: and he loves to talk on the podcasts and you hit some story and everything right seven an entire holiday i don't even care that i missed two weeks of life but i did i missed i missed i missed halloween what have i been so busy doing what why have i completely managed to miss and ignore and miss not really ignore but i missed halloween how did that even happen somebody got it in the head that somebody had to have a comedy festival they were like oh look at me out of nowhere i'm just gonna invent it inventicate invent invent them uh invent just invent i think a comedy festival and and and you did that and now it's it's you know coming up really soon and it might have already happened i don't even know because i have completely removed myself from that situation and uh yeah maybe you started to miss a lot of things in life because you're doing such a giant ridiculous thing it's like you know uh hey wait you guys went and played uh putt-putt mini golf without me what where was i you were building a rocket ship you know it's like you got bigger things on your plate right now and we didn't want to bother you so you missed country breakfast halloween kind of amazing won the costume contest that's right everybody high five in the air high five there you go never won it i've never even been like in the rankings of a costume contest and i i was i was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween i've never been gravy i've never been a condiment i've just been you know it's whatever i can find but rufus i got i got so wait we have all this stuff around all these like decorations and all this can't like can you i guess if it's if we've missed it and if we're not going to do halloween for this episode if we're going to just move on to something completely different what um can we return the stuff it's like do you have all the stuff is that something that can you yeah i do i do have receipts um however we got

Rufus T. Rufus: everything you know when there's a uh a building it was maybe a business and maybe it was just like um you know uh just like a lean through with some sticks and then people aren't there anymore and then the second you blink and it's um september and then all of a sudden it's a halloween store you know it's like there was a hospital over there oh my goodness the hospital close the halloween store like that you know hey remember when we used to go to the park and there was that fun little ice cream place down the corner that's a halloween store we went to one of those right but the thing is once you go to the halloween store you buy the things if you ever try to go

Natty Bumpercar: i was wondering about that because i put it up in my maps on my telephone here and i said uh halloween store and it was trying to send me to sacramento that's far away and i said uh halloween store uh close to me and it didn't understand what that so i said uh halloween store near my location and then the phone had had the gall the guff to say to me uh would you like me to use your current location i said well of course i do i said i what i said was i was looking near my local of course i want you to use my current location i'm not gonna just inventify some place that i'm gonna be in the next hour and 37 minutes like i want to know right now if i wanted to know then then i would i would be asking you then little little map little little map robot i don't even know what his name is but he needs he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude i don't know if you have been driving around with this this little robot and he's always like turn left and i'm like i'm in the right lane i can't turn left right now little robot and he's like you missed just you missed your chance mister your your your new nickname is mr chance because you missed your chance and now you're gonna recalculate why are we still using 2020 whatever this is using the term recalculate you ain't recalculating nothing you just going back into the map and and fixing my flub why don't you call it uh flub refixing or something like that all right because now i'm getting heated i'm getting angry anyway i tried to go back to that halloween store the one where i bought all this stuff because i i forgot i forgot to get the little wax uh vampire teeth that we were gonna have we're gonna have a little game and then i went back it was gone like tumbleweeds in the store gone i think that maybe not this podcast clearly because we can't we can't do this but some podcast needs to do some research do a deep dive maybe one season is where do all these stores go and then where do they come from you know they just appear out of night it's like oh empty shopping center it's a halloween store yeah and then uh whenever i don't know the strike of midnight on november you know i don't know the day because i don't know if they're open like a day after i don't know but where do all these things go where do the employees go are they sucked back down into like some hole in the ground or do they go to like a warehouse in caucasus something like that that is new jersey uh that sounds like a terrible podcast it sounds like it would be maybe one maybe one episode it would couldn't just consist i guess you could pad it out a little bit you know do the when i was growing up we always read a lot of stories and heard a lot of stories and heard a lot of tales about stuff you know and then like you know when i was you could do the everybody meet everybody in town and how they could talk about when i was here this was a lot of stories and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry skippers store we used to go to skippers all the time whatever it is and then uh you know and then like and then and you know like the first episode is just like the build-up to what the town used to be and you know what now i'm seeing it you can make an entire season out of this that's fine you know and then the halloween store came but no one knew you know it's okay i'm gonna give it that but anyway so uh rufus did you went back to get the wax teeth but they weren't there i think it's my understanding that we do have receipts for a lot of this stuff i don't does anybody who's if we're not going to do a halloween episode who's going to be in charge of of returning all i think as long as you understand it's not going to be me because i'm not comfortable uh going to the return desk because i just feel like i'm being judged you know they've got like several different lines but the lines aren't aren't labeled as anything and so you you get in the wrong line and sometimes maybe there's other people in the lines and you go hey you try to clean up buddy up buddy system hey what are you in here for you know what what are you in for and they're like i have an online order to pick up and you're like oh oh oh i'm trying to return something do you know do you know if it matters if i'm standing and they're like i don't i can't say anything i don't want to get in trouble all right i don't want to lose my spot in line because i'm trying to explain to you something that i don't even know the answer to okay so there's that kind of stress then you get to the front of the line and it doesn't even matter if there's nobody else there they'll say what do you want and you say i have a return and they say you're in the wrong line and you look around there's no other lines there's there's places for lines and they just stare at you until you move out this line you go to that line you walk through the thing and then bing bang boom you're up at the front but look at that somehow there's a it's just 16 people in the line where you just were and now you're back in the back of the line and you're in the front of the back of the back and if you ever even make it to the front you know if you're ever lucky enough to make it to the front then they uh why you know they real they really why are you here huh you know and you're like i gotta return all this stuff okay got a receipt i actually don't have a receipt well do you have an account with us i don't know let's try this phone number that didn't work perfect um what do i have the credit card that i used i don't know what credit card i used i don't know let's try this one that didn't work perfect yeah i've got other credit card you know it's just this ordeal to the point where i just keep the stuff okay then i put it all in the yard sale next year and then it's someone else's problem or gift or whatever you will have i do like to keep receipts because those are legally binding uh documents and uh legally binding uh documents that we got legally binding right and so i keep a record of them i keep boxes of them and then i store the box i put the dates on the box and so i got all these receipts i got all these records but you know i i twisted my toe the other day so i can't i'm not as mobile as i once was so i will uh i will have to i can find the the the the paper trail but i'm gonna have to defer to someone else and i assume aloysius if you ain't going to go in then uh i guess it's all right maybe it's up to you natty maybe oh maybe you producer seems like something you might enjoy going to talking to

Rufus T. Rufus: people and whatnot i'm actually very busy you know uh we're getting ready for the next holiday show's a big holiday coming up uh thanksgiving and everything so yeah i'm gonna give this one over to pass the buck to you natty you can take care of it you're the one who slept through

Natty Bumpercar: halloween anyway right wait no i will not accept the nickname is gravy that is a terrible nickname and that is not fair and i won't take it but i will take the stuff back because we do yeah we do gravy

Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for the money listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

November 11, 2025
Bumperpodcast #405 – Season 2 – Halloween

It’s a scarifying (scary and terrifying) Halloween episode where all of the calls are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!
The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!
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[av_toggle_container faq_markup=” initial=’0′ mode=’accordion’ sort=” styling=” colors=” font_color=” background_color=” border_color=” toggle_icon_color=” colors_current=” font_color_current=” toggle_icon_color_current=” background_current=” background_color_current=” background_gradient_current_direction=’vertical’ background_gradient_current_color1=” background_gradient_current_color2=” background_gradient_current_color3=” hover_colors=” hover_font_color=” hover_background_color=” hover_toggle_icon_color=” alb_description=” id=” custom_class=” template_class=” av_uid=’av-kve16v7s’ sc_version=’1.0′ admin_preview_bg=”] [av_toggle title=’Show Transcript:’ tags=” custom_id=” av_uid=’av-kve16tl4′ sc_version=’1.0′] Natty Bumpercar 0:04 What’s that? You said the calls coming from inside the house but doesn’t even make sense. It’s not how phones work. I mean, we don’t even have a landline so if there’s a phone call that’s happening and I’m inside the house and then the people have their cell phones and I guess the call can be coming from inside the house, but I don’t know if they can pinpoint it. That exact do they know where exactly where phone calls are coming from and so they can see on some sort of a map or something that the calls are coming from inside the house. Hmm, ah, is it an intercom maybe Is that what’s happening? No, Rufus T. Rufus 0:41 no, no, no, no, I believe we had signed some sort of paperwork and we got a telephone utensils that Sam but we would have to disclose and just quantify exactly where we were located. When we were making the telephone call. I’m looking around I don’t know if you can hear me I’m but I am looking around. I did hear the phone ring. And I heard the call. But I mean, could it possibly be coming from inside of the house? Producer 1:11 Hey, everybody, it’s me producer. I do normally know how the television works is you make a telephone call with the buttons in the Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing and if them the numbers is Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing and you can make the phone calling and your thing allow you have the conversation and everything but I don’t know exactly the technically speaking. Natty Bumpercar 1:33 Pretty. Producer, producer. Stop. Do you? No, no. What are you talking? Yeah, no. Producer 1:37 Okay. Yeah, no, I don’t I am saying I don’t know. Natty Bumpercar 1:41 Yeah, you went through all of that to say you don’t know. You’ll be like that’s that’s not even how people dial phones because no one knows any numbers are just like search for and then they push one it’s like beep and then they call the person call producer beep like it’s not Beep beep beep beep beep i don’t know phone number. I don’t even know my phone number. I had to fill out a form the other day and it said what’s your phone number? And I said no, I wish you would tell me is what I said to that form. And you know what that form said to me Aloysius J. Pig 2:12 and Bing nothing is that what the exactly Yeah, nothing makes sense because it’s a form forms don’t talk forms I like buckets that we take our information too. And we bring it to the bucket the bucket says name I’m going to bring my name to that bucket phone number I’m going to bring my phone number to that bucket you understand show if we can set it it forms I like buckets and we know that bucket actually do not talk then we know that forms will then not talk Am I Am I right Rufus T. Rufus 2:54 now when I had to take all the quizzes or tests whatever they offer to get into law school now there was one in particular that would say something like go banana is to a red panda as a lemonade is to eliminate stand and so you see that they’re making comparisons a con contrast and compare yeah contrast and compare Okay, Natty Bumpercar 3:30 do you understand no I mean I don’t I mean a banana to a What was it again? Producer 3:40 There’s a rat Natty Bumpercar 3:42 All right, it was a red panda got it wow you guys are both you guys both get your good listener badges today Rufus T. Rufus 3:50 Hold on a second I didn’t realize that we were still doing the badges I had donated those done some police buy was a box it said insert your badges and leave them tomorrow and the whole box it was a crate really a badges Natty Bumpercar 4:05 we had those in storage those huh? All right, guys. So you’re not going to get badges and I apologize. Because we don’t have me I’m not gonna order badges just for this. I don’t have any badges. I was supposed to incentivize you guys if I don’t have any badges. Rufus T. Rufus 4:21 I do apologize. However, I will point out that we did have a meeting whereby we were told to purge the extras the extra stuff because it were and we’ll let you know what let’s always I thought we talked about that. That bucket thing again. That was that was really interesting to me with the bucket Aloysius J. Pig 4:46 and I don’t want to talk about the bucket thing because I think I totally forgot that we were all obsessed and freaking out at the beginning of the episode. Yeah, it was a phone call. Yeah, it was coming from and cy da how good call Natty Bumpercar 4:58 pig because We never really figured that out. We got off track a few. We got off on several different tracks. And yeah, there was a phone call that is coming from inside the house, everybody. And I think it’s very serious because you know, what, to what tomorrow is? Does anybody do you know, what Has anyone had looked at the calendar? I Producer 5:17 haven’t looked at the calendar. But I know it’s not garbage dial recycling, because it’s a weekend that we don’t they don’t don’t pick up on the it’s not easy, like a leaf kind of day. You’re gonna put pick up some some ground ground. Ground three, nothing. Still sitting the bundle round. No, no. Okay. No, that, Rufus T. Rufus 5:39 let’s see, I believe the post office is closed on the weekend. I don’t really know where it is no court open on the weekend. I’m PHARMAC. Those are really the places that I go to. I like to go to the post office sometimes. And then some other days. I’ll go to the court of law, obviously, fallen papers, mail and paid ticket papers up now. It’s not I can’t I can’t wrap my mind around what it might be Bumpercar I Aloysius J. Pig 6:10 don’t know why you let them on the microphone. Obviously. It’s Halloween tomorrow, everybody. It’s Halloween. That’s why we’re freaking out. Because there’s a scary phone call that came from inside the house. It’s a it’s a thing that happens in Halloween type movies, scary movies. And people are like, Oh my god. Yep. There’s a phone call. Yep. And it’s coming from inside of the house. Yeah. Natty Bumpercar 6:31 So thank you, pig for getting us back on track and letting everyone know how serious his situation is. Because we’re all sitting in this room together. So we’re not calling each other. So that means that somebody else some random person is calling us and it’s right next to Halloween, which makes it extra scary because we don’t know who it is. And it could just be could be anyone in there if they’re already inside the house. Like why are they calling us? Why aren’t they just coming in? Or I don’t know what Rufus T. Rufus 7:02 movie? Am I telling him to start drinking? I don’t know we answer none. Aloysius J. Pig 7:05 Now you shouldn’t you know, whoever answers the phone is usually the one who goes so you should I don’t think you should. My phone is ringing Producer 7:14 our phones are ringing back same time. Even possible. who’s calling us from you? Natty Bumpercar 7:20 Guys, I want everyone to put your phone down right now. I’m I’m going to answer the phone. This is the bumper podcast. This is the I’m I’m this is my responsibility. And I’m going to answer the phone. Take a deep breath. Wish me luck. Hello. Oh, okay. I am so sorry. I am I know. I am so sorry. Yeah, pick. Pickle. Pickle come and get you I am Yes, I know. It. Okay. I everyone I know you call. Yeah, you were caught. Okay. This is a I’m a pig. Yeah. Monster was stuck in the bathroom. The door got jammed. He was stuck. We all evidently forgot that he was here. Record a Halloween episode with us. Oh, you could? Aloysius J. Pig 8:21 Yeah, well Oh, Natty Bumpercar 8:23 he is really mad. Aloysius J. Pig 8:25 I don’t blame us this whole time. Okay, I’m gonna go I’m gonna scoot over and see oh man, it is hilarious. Rufus T. Rufus 8:33 Now you might think it’s funny I’ll always just pick a loo but there could be some serious troubles here we could be under some some scrutiny and some some some some eyes people that we don’t want looking at us because we did just unintentionally or intentionally I do not know lock someone in the restroom for an extended period of time. And they claim that we did that on purpose and that we was playing I don’t know what but we could this is kind of funny. Natty Bumpercar 9:12 I am so incredibly sorry. We that bathroom door has been have it’s been a problem for a while and we had somebody come in and work on it. And now it’s actually worse than it was before we had come out Aloysius J. Pig 9:32 all right. There’s no need to threaten anybody was a mistake. It was an accident. All right. We apologize. We as he said we had somebody come and look at the door. We know that he was going to be stalking Rufus T. Rufus 9:49 you well he does have a good point that we did know he was here. We all let him in the house. So we probably checked on that might have been a good thing to do as a host Natty Bumpercar 10:00 Call I agree. And again, I’m terribly sorry. And I’m even more sorry because we’re out of time on the episode so we don’t even get a chance to talk to. Outro 10:20 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs in hearts See you soon. NonPro 11:39 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the non productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com [/av_toggle] [/av_toggle_container]

October 30, 2021
Bumperpodcast #361 – Lil’ Monsta

Today, we have a very special guest to bring in the season on the right foot. It’s Lil’ Monsta – and, Natty has absolutely no idea how to handle him. Listen to the fun, and – you’ll see!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this special Halloween episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is surprised by the annual visit of Lil Monster, a recurring guest who only speaks in monster language. Aloysius J. Pig explains that Lil Monster appears every year for their Halloween episode, much to Natty's confusion. Rufus T. Rufus makes his typical disruptive entrance with legal concerns, while Producer briefly pops in hoping for beverages. Despite the language barrier and chaos, the gang manages to interview Lil Monster about his busy year. Natty shares his excitement about suburban Halloween traditions like "ghosting" neighbors with treat bags, and reveals his plans for three different Halloween costumes including a gorilla and Super Mario. Aloysius keeps it simple with his classic "pig in a blanket" costume.

Memorable Quotes

“I'm going to be what I am every year, which is the easiest and best costume in the whole wide world. I wear a blanket because it's kind of chilly, and I'm a pig in a blanket.”
— Aloysius J. Pig

“Please do not refer to me as a monster. I am not furry. I have, my nose is not big and orange. I do not have any horns.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“Here's a scary thing, though. When you're out there, you're ghosting people left and right. But then what happens if no one ghosts you? What happens, my friend, when the ghost is un-ghosted?”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #halloween #costumes #lilmonster #holidays #trickortreating #suburbanlife #ghostingtradition

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Lil Monster, Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: Well, well, well, hello there everybody. It's me, Natty Bumpercart. I get- What?

Lil Monster: What is this? Who are you? Okay. Okay. There's a monster in the room. There's a monster in the studio. There's a monster in here with me right now. Ka-do, ka-do, ka-da, ka-da, ka-do, ka-do, ka-da.

Aloysius J. Pig: Hey, hey, uh, hey, Natty. It's me, Aloysius J. Pig, and I see you met my friend. His name is Lil Monster. Okay, like L-A-L.

Lil Monster: Like L-A-L? I don't- How do you spell it? Sorry. I don't speak monster. I'm so sorry.

Natty Bumpercar: I don't know what you're saying to me. You seem very- You seem very emphatic about whatever it is that you're trying to say to me, though.

Aloysius J. Pig: Yeah, so it's L-I-L apostrophe M-O-N-S-T-A. Lil Monster. So that's his name, Lil Monster.

Natty Bumpercar: Okay, Lil Monster. Nice to meet you. My name is Natty Bumpercart, and this is my house, and you're in my studio, and I was just reporting- Reporting. I'm kind of nervous. Recording a podcast. So it's called the Bumper Podcast.

Aloysius J. Pig: It's a bumper podcast. He knows. He's here every year. This is your big Halloween episode, because Halloween's going to be this upcoming week, and so we always like to, you know, have Lil Monster in, so he can talk about what he's been doing, his gigs he's been up to, kind of shenanigans, whatnot. You'll understand. A lot of what- Okay.

Natty Bumpercar: What's up? What? What? What? So is this really something that we do every single year, because it doesn't- I mean, like, it's great that you're here, but I don't- No, I was looking at our podcast analytics, which is, like, how many people listen, and I don't know how many people listen that can speak monster, so I don't want to-

Aloysius J. Pig: Don't segregate your audience, okay? Don't just assume that nobody out there speaks monster, because a lot more people speak monster than you know about these days. You look- There's stories out there, there's monster-speaking people everywhere. Door lingo? Yeah, that's- yeah. They got a monster speech. All right. So you can learn to speak monster. What I'm saying is, he's been on the show for years and years and years, and you gotta respect him, okay? Okay? He brings something to the table. He brings a niche audience that is very fervent, and very excited about the show, and he shares it on social media, and so you gotta have- He's a little monster.

Rufus T. Rufus: Well, well, well. Hello, everyone, on this bumper podcast, bumper car, bumper, bumper car podcast Halloween. I don't understand if we have the branding down exactly. It's our Rufus T. Rufus, the lawyer of the bumper podcast, and-

Natty Bumpercar: Speaking of monsters, everybody, here's Rufus T. Rufus, the lawyer, to come and try to steal my show again, I suppose.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, we're fine. I understand. Now, you need to settle down, little monster, because I have in my possession some paperwork that was not signed by you, and so you are not authorized to even be in the building. I do not believe you have a badge on. I don't know how you made it past security. But you- Sir, I'm not authorized legally, authorized legally to be in here. So, I will ask you, sir- Rufus. To settle, settle it down. No use, Rufus. Settle it down a bit. And, uh, Mr. Bumper Car- Relax. Please do not refer to me as a monster. I am not furry. I have, my nose is not big and orange. I do not have any horns.

Aloysius J. Pig: Okay, Rufus.

Rufus T. Rufus: So, I would appreciate, sir, if you digressed.

Aloysius J. Pig: Hey, Rufus. Listen, uh, I'll get whatever paperwork you guys, uh, with you. I'll get all that settled, but we gotta do the Halloween package. We gotta talk to little monster. He's very busy. He's supposed to be on some other shows, uh, very soon. And so, I don't wanna hold him up, and I don't wanna hold up other people. Because that's how we get a big reputation, okay? Now, can you bring me a- So, we'll be with you. We'll come by your office.

Rufus T. Rufus: Bring me a beverage of my choice. All right? Fine, we'll bring that. Thank you. Now, let's just get going. Okay, I'm gonna- I'll skidoo, absolutely. But I just want you to know that I would like for my beverage to be, uh, silky smooth, cold, and righteous. So, that's what I'll be drinking today. All right, can you go- Everyone, this has been Rufus, T. Rufus, and I do apologize for taking your time.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, so- Toodaloodin'. Toodaloodin'. Uh, oh boy. Um, just glad he's gone. So, monster, I suppose- I should, uh- Little monster.

Unknown: Little.

Natty Bumpercar: Little monster. Yeah, sorry about that. It's okay.

Unknown: Uh, now that it's me, producer, and I was saying that the levels for me, monster, are perfect, and I have everything working out very well for you, and I hope that everything on the show is to your satisfaction. Okay. It's very good. And also-

Natty Bumpercar: Thanks, producer.

Unknown: If you guys are getting a drink for Rufus- No. And I would also like to have some sort of a drink or beverage, because I'm going to be thirsty, too. Yeah, we're not going out- If that's okay with you, then that's okay with me. Yeah, we're not going out. Um- We're not going out for drinks. Oh. Yeah. We just said that to- We're not taking drink orders? No, we just said that to get rid of Rufus. No one's making a run? No. No. Okay.

Natty Bumpercar: No one's making a run. Okay. Okay.

Unknown: I'll go back into the booth. Okay. The producer booth, and I will just turn a thing to doing. You're doing a great job. Bye. Okay. Okay. Okay. Thanks, producer. Good job, little monster. See you next year.

Natty Bumpercar: He's still here. He's here for the rest of the episode, so you- And you can actually say hi to him after we finish recording. I'm sorry about that, everyone. Normally, producer doesn't just pop into the show like that, but I guess he heard that we were going to make a run for some beverages, and he decided that it was his time to jump in to the fray. Anyway, okay. So, um- I'm woefully unprepared, because I didn't even know we were having little monster as a guest today. But maybe you could tell us a little bit about yourself and a little bit about what you do, little monster, or how your last year was, because evidently you've been here every year, so that'll be kind of fun. Wow.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah. Serious business. We're looking forward to seeing you again. Let's see if I could talk about some of the little monsters he calls a little monster, but also a little monster. Or who knows? A little monster of like coammum versus a big monster, no matter what.

Lil Monster: Yeah, I should know.

Rufus T. Rufus: I should know. Yo man, let's see. You're such a Norris Toddy.

Aloysius J. Pig: That was fun. That really happened? Okay? What? All right, that seems like he had a pretty busy year. Listen, Natty. He said he's got to go. He said we held him up with all that other stuff. It's always a pleasure to see you, bro. I'll see you on the flip side. Maybe at the Halloween party. There's a Halloween party? What are you going to be dressed as?

Natty Bumpercar: Wait, there's a Halloween party? Where is it? Can I come? No one told me there's a Halloween party. Can I please come to the… I like parties, and I like Halloween,

Lil Monster: and I have a cool costume.

Rufus T. Rufus: I don't speak monster.

Natty Bumpercar: See you later. Thanks, little monster. Well, maybe somebody will invite me to the Halloween party. I would love to go. I have a really cool costume. Pig, what do you think you're going to be for Halloween?

Aloysius J. Pig: I'm going to be what I am every year, which is the easiest and best costume in the whole wide world. I wear a blanket because it's kind of chilly, and I'm a pig in a blanket. It's like, what? Bam. That's my costume. Everybody sees it. Everybody's like, look at Pig. Aloysius. Yeah. Pairing it up again.

Natty Bumpercar: Pig in a blanket. That's a lot more on the nose than I was expecting from you. Cool. So, here's a fun thing that I didn't know about until we moved out here to the suburbs. There's a thing called ghosting. You've been ghosted. They also say you've been booed. Booed. But not like that. I get booed all the time when I'm on stage. No. What? Yeah. No. Oh. What it is, is you take like a little baggie. You make a little gift bag, basically. We use brown paper bags, and we draw ghosts on them. And you put treats in there. Either some Halloween candy or some little doodads or whatever. And you go to your friend's house, and you put it on their doorstep, and you ring the doorbell, and you run. So your car is waiting for you, and then your person, your friend, comes out, and they're like, Oh, there's a treat on my front porch. I've been booed. I've been ghosted. Look at me. Ghosted with a mosted. And you don't put your name on there or anything. And so it's a big mystery. Who did this to me? Who could have possibly? It's a fun little thing that I really enjoy doing with the kids. And so we're going to do that, I think, tonight, actually. I've got to get my bags all packed because they're kicking me out. No. I've got to get the bags packed so we can go out ghosting. Um, here's a scary thing, though. When you're out there, you're ghosting people left and right. But then what happens if no one ghosts you? What happens, my friend, when the ghost is un-ghosted? Muahahaha! No, I honestly don't know. That hasn't happened. And it'll probably be a sad and bad scene if it does. Anyway, I've got to go exercise because I've got to fit into my gorilla costume that I'm wearing for Halloween. It's a little thing I got and I'm pretty excited about it. And I have three costumes this year because I'm hosting three different Halloween shows. So I figure I wanted to mix it up a little bit. Maybe I'll be a gorilla one day, maybe I'll be Mario another day, like Super Mario. And then another day I might be a gorilla wearing a Mario hat. Who knows? Or a gorilla wearing a Mario costume. It really it's it can go. It can go all kinds of different ways. So you go out this weekend, ghost your friends, have a blast, take care of yourself. We'll see you on on the flip side, I think is what we said to Lil Monsta. Oh, don't forget to follow Lil Monsta on all of his. I don't know if he has really anything. But anyway, this has been Natty Bumpercar. And this has been the Nattie Bumpercar Show. And this has been The Bumper Podcast. And you have been the best, booooo.

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October 25, 2019
Bumperpodcast #337 – Happy Halloween

Natty is cleaning in the recording booth – when he looks over to realize that the microphone is on and recording. So – he talks a bit about the Halloween party that is about to happen at Headquarters. Then – a bunch of other stuff happens…

We have missed you a bunch. I hope you have missed us, too.

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar accidentally starts recording while preparing for a Halloween party in the basement studio. In this emotional return episode, he shares the sad news that Irving Brown Socks, the beloved 15-year-old border collie/black lab mix who served as the show's marketing manager, has passed away. The crew discusses their Halloween costume plans, with Aloysious J. Pig planning to dress as an angel, while Rufus T. Rufus threatens legal action over improper moving procedures and musical improv violations. Doodle Poodle offers to take over social media duties, and the gang explains why they've been absent from podcasting lately.

Memorable Quotes

“There's dust bunnies nerfing around. I had to feed them some dust carrots because that's what they eat.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Just because you have talent doesn't mean you're gonna make it because maybe you ain't so professional with your silly name Natty Bumpercar.”

— Aloysious J. Pig

“All the candy has been checked for perfection because nothing that ain't perfect ain't eating going through my lips.”

— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #halloween #petloss #costumes #returningfromhiatus #grief #partyplanning #tribute

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: all right let's see here move that and okay and oh did somebody turn this on no it's recording right now the fight okay hey uh everyone i guess i'm sorry hey this is natty bumper car and uh i was actually moving some stuff around here in the basement because we're getting ready for our big halloween party and i didn't notice but i looked over the computer and the bumper podcast is recording um let me just move some more of this stuff around here and okay uh sorry uh we haven't recorded in a long time and so we i you know the the studio has spider webs and cobwebs and uh and what is the difference between a spider web and a cobweb who cares uh and there's dust bunnies nerfing around i had to feed them some uh some dust carrots because that's what they eat uh but i hey i guess while you're here you know let's let's catch up let's see what's going on with you i'll tell you what's going on with me uh a lot has been going on where have we been i know you're asking that well yeah hey bro

Aloysious J. Pig: it's uh me aloysius jpeg hey pig what's going on yeah hi uh so anyway i was carrying around these marshmallow uh jack-o'-lanterns uh-huh and for the party yep and i was

Natty Bumpercar: wondering i have a question huh what are you going to be for the party that's an excellent

Aloysious J. Pig: question well my friend let me tell you let me tell you please do you have to do that big

Rufus T. Rufus: well now excuse me everyone that's right it's me your lawyer mr rufus i'm happy to be here today for a hollows eve party all the candy has been checked for perfection because you know nothing that ain't perfect ain't eating going through my uh lips now however i do have a question for you okay uh-huh now if you're moving all this stuff around yeah i am am i to understand that you have filled out all the proper paperwork for moving such because you are the talent mr and i not want you slipping a disc throwing something out or hither or hother or wither or weather if you understand what i am

Natty Bumpercar: talking about honestly i very rarely understand much of what you're saying or what you're talking about but no i haven't filled out any paperwork i'm just cleaning up a little bit i'm moving some stuff around um and you know i was and then i looked over and the microphone was on and so i was like oh my goodness we must be recording a podcast right now and so i just kind of started talking about it and i was like oh my goodness we must be recording a podcast right now and so i again because you are the talent sir exactly talent but then pig came over and he was going to tell us what his costume was going to be so i'm well i'll talk to you in a second rufus but

Aloysious J. Pig: let me talk back to pig for just a second one second yeah uh so anyway before i was so rudely in a row oh my god why does it happen every time i try to talk hi i'm sorry everybody it's

Doodle Poodle: me me I hope i'm not opening myself up to any kind of criminal court a case or what have you in public

Rufus T. Rufus: determination but Mr. Bumpercar there is something wrong with that dog right there

Natty Bumpercar: all right okay listen rufus there's nothing wrong with doodle poodle he just that's just who he is that's how he's always been he's a he's a poodle and he likes to draw and it's kind of he's a little bit one-dimensional but you understand that's what he is that's what he does that's what he loves doodle poodle poodle who likes to make doodles uh anyway pig i'm so sorry you're being interrupted

Aloysious J. Pig: um so let's talk about uh your costume i suppose well uh i apologize a bit but i'm gonna i'm gonna go off on a bit of a uh swerve here doodle poodle reminded me of um so your your your boy uh irving brown socks oh he's gonna be coming i suppose as a ghost pig that's

Natty Bumpercar: it's horrible that's mean uh so hey everybody listen to the bumper podcast i'm not trying to bring this party down at all um but i should let you know that we did have a bit of a change here at headquarters not a change an event i suppose it's called um our sweet little pupperdew irving brown socks uh is no longer with us he was a very sick sweet old dog he was 15 years old and he was he was a very sick sweet old dog he was 15 years old and he was a very sick sweet old dog and he was he was a border collie black lab you know him you saw him um and he got very sick and so he passed away and hopefully in an uh an upcoming episode we're going to do a tribute to him which will be very nice and i'm sure based on the way that everything seems to go here uh very respectful right um you know and just something just to uh to remember him by it's been a tough month i'm not the only reason we haven't recorded but it's certainly a large reason why we haven't recorded um and while i have missed you tremendously and i have missed the bumper podcast tremendously um it's been an interesting month for me and for everyone here at headquarters trying to put ourselves back together a little bit um so yeah sure pig if that's how you want to play it irving will be here at our halloween party which i'm actually kind of cool with because that just means he's still here which makes me happy so thanks thanks for thanks well thanks nice transition yeah i'm a professional in the

Aloysious J. Pig: business i mean uh rufus is saying you're the talent but uh listen bro cool it's your talents and everything i'm the professional if you understand what i'm saying so i'm the one who's getting the jobs and whatever the what have you the whatnot the one with a career or whatever you are talented that you grew up you were born with this innate talent uh but here's the thing in the industry i know a lot about the industry uh just because you have talent doesn't mean you're gonna make it because maybe you ain't so professional maybe with your silly name natty bumper car maybe people are gonna look at you and be like uh whatever bro you ain't coming into my place your name is too silly i'll get going move on but me aloysius j pig people hear that name and they're like that's a professional right

Rufus T. Rufus: there that's a pig who knows what he's doing who knows the industry who's gonna get things done natty uh to the pig's point i do have some forms some requisitions for potential new names for you if you would ever uh like to update your imdb perhaps your wikipedia and uh change your name so that people don't uh poo you as much as they uh do if you understand what i'm saying however i have been sticking around in this podcast currently i'm late for a probate court uh appearance but i was wondering if we are ever going to find out what the pig is wearing and while i'm talking about the pig it reminds me that i should send my condolences i did send you an edible arrangement uh in lieu of uh flowers for mr irving he was a wonderful dog i know that he was your uh he was uh uh what was it called again he was my marketing manager so he

Natty Bumpercar: did all the social media he wrote all the press releases he uh he didn't build the websites but he would write a lot of the content for it um so we were kind of trying to figure out who's going to do all that stuff another reason why we haven't had a podcast is i didn't have the infrastructure to do all that stuff so um maybe it's something

Doodle Poodle: that i would be able to handle moving forward you know one dog moves out one dog moves in

Aloysious J. Pig: yeah maybe just yeah he's got a good point there bumps yeah let the silly dog do it okay yeah yeah i'm kidding yeah okay i'm joking anyway spotlight back on me back where it should always be look at me and you will see what am i going to be tonight for halloween would you like to take a guess no just look at how i'm dressed okay and you will be impressed oh this is

Rufus T. Rufus: dangerously close to musical improv i was just gonna step in yeah uh we have an explicit there's a sign over there that says no musical improv on the bumper podcast or in any affiliations involved revolving or being around natty bumper car i am so sorry you know how the industry feels about improvisation don't you of course they're not appreciative of it um what's going to be next are you going to fall into a an improv duo i almost oh excuse me i have a little bit of a little bit of hot burn oh i do not feel good at all what was in that punch bowl over there it was on rancid i believe my stomach is telling me some things oh my word okay listen we're not okay pig

Natty Bumpercar: i i i don't mind you making up cute little songs um and i'm not gonna call it musical improv because i know how you feel about that um but listen hey it's been great coming back i've missed you guys so much i'm so excited that we're having a big halloween party um and we'll just go around the horn and we'll all sit down and we'll all sit down and we'll all sit down and we'll all sit down what halloween costume we're going to be and i will rapid fire start off with uh doodle foodle i'm gonna be a can of soup that's terrifying um rufus d i'm gonna be a man in a suit with a brief case and some intentions that's just not no no it's not okay now uh me i'm gonna be a um dumb dumb lollipop all right settle down

Aloysious J. Pig: and uh aloesha's jay pig i'm gonna be an angel pig i like i got these angel wings and a little halo that i like to put on and it's multi-purpose because i get it now and then i get to break it out again in a couple seasons so and it's really my best look people get to see my little twistly little tail and everything and they're like oh check out that little angel pig over there any of the cutest and then i got uh angel dust that i draw around like glitter and whatnot so it's really pretty uh pretty tight

Natty Bumpercar: okay well awesome well thank you guys so much for coming to the bumper podcast uh maybe next year you're gonna come to our halloween party we we will put some invitations together we hope to be back again next week we hope to get back on schedule we hope to do a lot of things we have a lot of hope right now and uh we hope you have an awesome halloween and that you're tremendous and that you're fabulous and that you're our favorite and that you're the best bumper bumper podcast kateers and uh hugs and hearts bro hugs and hugs you

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October 31, 2018