Tag: friendship

Bumperpodcast #396 – Season 2 – The Lake

Natty wants to talk about perspective – so, the gang all talk about a trip that they took to the lake – and how they all perceived their shared experiences.

The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

Show Transcript:

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June 10, 2021
Bumperpodcast #393 – Season 2 – Toe

It has been way too long. Let me explain why – oh – why. ❤️ The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

About This Episode

In this personal episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares stories from his recent whirlwind trip to Georgia. Natty recounts helping his childhood best friend clean out his parents' house in Macon, Georgia, triggering waves of nostalgia from their friendship that began in traumatic swim lessons at age four. The episode features humorous tales of Southern food adventures including barbecue, Brunswick stew, and a leaky fried chicken restaurant, followed by a grueling 25-hour drive to Boulder, Colorado. Between managing his clumsy cone-wearing puppy Banjo, dealing with a broken trampoline, and hosting a virtual drawing session for schoolchildren, Natty ends the episode explaining how he broke his pinky toe by walking into a cabinet.

Memorable Quotes

“They put us at the deep end of the pool… walked up behind us and pushed. Sploosh. Down into the water. That's how we learned to swim… that's a scary way to learn how to swim.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“He's got this cone on his head and he hits me right in the back of the calf… he's very insistent like hey hey hey I'm gonna hit you I'm gonna hit you hard.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I stood up and I walked directly into a very heavy cabinet… I yelped I fell on the ground and I was just like rolling around… Banjo came over with his cone and he tried to love me to death.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #friendship #nostalgia #travel #southernfood #childhoodmemories #pets #injury

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: Well now I went down to Georgia for a while for about four days and now I forgot how to talk because sometimes when I go back home I just start talking like I used to talk which was kind of like this. It wasn't exactly like this but it was kind of like this and I wait a minute no that's not did I? I mean I did go to Georgia. I was there for for three days two days. It was I had the craziest trip you guys. I know you probably like bumper car. You can't just put out an episode a month. I understand that. I know that but life has been coming at me crazy fast. So here's what's been going on. Step one I had to fly to Georgia to help my best friend out. We had to clean his pants. We had to clean his parents house out. We had a I flew to Georgia and then we drove to a place called Macon Georgia. Macon Bacon. Macon Trouble. Macon Macon. Yeah I don't know um and and we we got a 20 foot uh tall. No that'd be amazing. Do you do you know that you know the difference between tall and long? Uh probably right? Like your height that's how tall you are. Your arms if you stretch them out that's how long I don't know. Hard to explain but you know when you're driving down the road and you see a big truck and it's really long or a train that's really long that's that's that's long. That's not a good description is it? Huh that's fine too. Anyway it was a 20 foot long truck and I mean come to think of it it was probably like 12 or 13 feet tall. It was pretty tall and we emptied out the entire house and we were straightening and cleaning and going room by room. And and and getting rid of stuff um because his mom moved to where he lives and so they were getting rid of the house and it was there were emotions. I had emotions. There was a lot of nostalgia. We we drove around. I've known this friend since we were four years old. I used to say three years old but he contends that it was four or five years old and so now I'm like what? Oh so I did give a little bit of ground on the three so now I'll say four. We met when we were um in swim lessons and this is how the swim lessons used to go so just get ready kids. They put us at the deep end of the pool and our swim instructor was this woman and I can't remember her name but she walked up behind us in the deep end of the pool. A four year old. Several of us and put her hand on her back our backs and pushed. Sploosh. Down into the water. That's how we we learned to swim and then she had this thing that she would kind of reach out into the pool and pull us back and and that's not that's a scary way to learn how to swim. I'm just gonna tell you. And so it was through that trauma through that trial by fiery water that we we bonded and we became pals and so this house it I spent more time in this house growing up than in any other house and um so there were a lot of emotions involved with that just you know walking room to room and uh they have a a separate little room it's a bonus room is what they call it oh look at this your house has a bonus room and it's above the garage and it was never finished it was kind of like a big storage area and um it has this smell and it's not a bad smell it's just like when I open the door to look in and see how much stuff I have I'm like oh my god I'm so I was hit by this smell now smell is cool for memory um like you can walk into someplace or and you can smell something and and your mind will just get flooded with all these memories where you're like I remember you know this place and you can just close your eyes and you just know where you are and it's it's just so cool and so that's how it was and we uh so we were down there and we were in the pool and we were like oh my god I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so excited we're we're packing stuff we get the truck uh we're going to all these places like to eat like you know oh remember this place let's go get food there or whatever and um one of the places i went by myself well i had a big food day which i do not recommend because my tummy still hurts where we had um barbecue and we had something called brunswick stew which is made in brunswick georgia and it's it's this stewy thing that you get at barbecue places and it's so good and after that i went and i got curly fries seasoned curly fries from this place that i really like and then after that i went to another place a fried chicken place and i didn't get fried chicken but i did get a honey buttered biscuit oh it was so good and uh an order of fried okra which is um magical thing and really one of the only ways i'll eat okra because have you ever had okra it's it can be a little creepy if i'm gonna be completely honest um i do like pickled okra but only on very rare occasions uh stewed okra no thank you too slimy too creepy you keep that over there fried okra every day my friend but i'm standing there and well first when i walk into the uh the fried chicken place you know sometimes when you go to stores people will say something like how are you welcome to my store hello customer hello friend whatever it is uh all she said and she just yelled at she she said um what are you having and i was like ah that's a lot of pressure like i want i didn't get to acclimate i didn't get to get my my feet wet but i did almost get my feet wet because about five feet to the right of the register uh where you're you know where you're going to get your food and get your stuff and she's like oh you're an expert so he's like what just friends i'm like realized that we didn't know what it was and so then we had a sir cramp and i thought to myself that i was going to get my phone bill here you know buying the stuff there's a there was a giant hole in the ceiling um where there's all these exposed uh like air conditioner pipes and there was all this water falling not even just dripping but kind of raining and it wasn't raining outside this was internal raining and there was a giant puddle on the floor so there was a there was a big pan that was full of this sealing water and then there was a big puddle on the floor and the whole time i was i like experiences and to me this is an adventure and an experience i'm getting off so i'll very soon without the trip so i'm going to maybe come back so i'll take me there now if somebody's gonna buy me a little bit and to me this is an adventure and experience and I was just like this this is what I want in the world I want weird stuff like this um and what I ended up with uh not gonna lie again a stomach ache and then that night we went to uh downtown Macon which I mean it existed as a thing but it didn't exist like this and we saw a friend and we had dinner outside and there were lights and it was gorgeous and it was the best thing ever anyway loaded the truck and drove all the way to Boulder Colorado 25 hours so far unloaded the truck returned the truck flew back home so tired but good happy right yeah and then on top of that uh my little puppy dog Banjo who's a pointer he had to go get um a little medical procedure done because he's at that certain puppy dog age he's running around the house with a cone and he's already a pretty clumsy dog right he runs into stuff but now he's got this cone on his head and he hits me right in the back of the calf that's like the bottom back of your leg and it hurts so bad and he's very he's not aggressive about it but he's very insistent like hey hey hey I'm gonna hit you I'm gonna hit you hard I'm gonna continually hit you hey guess what I'm still hitting you and it hurts a lot um but that's okay because he just loves that much right and that's a sweet thing what else is going on well our trampoline broke so that's no good because the kids go on it every single day and our neighbor kids go on it too dun dun dun how did it break well trampolines have these cool poles that go around that have a net somehow they broke one of the poles that's broken cool can we fix that I don't know oh but wait hey look we also somehow managed to put a rip in the actual trampoline okay trampoline is gone then no more trampolines so I have to figure that out and then we're gonna have a yard sale in a couple weeks and then I'm doing all this fun stuff for the school I got to do a virtual it was like an hour long draw along with my kids uh school it was like first graders second graders third graders they were and uh we we drew something for the art teacher and it was really fun and it was really it was a great time and I want to do that more often speaking of that I'm going to show you a little bit of a video of me doing a little bit of a thing more often I want to thank Jessica Sager she is our first Patreon Patreoner Patreonee person who Patreons I don't know how it works but it's fun I didn't say her name last time because I wasn't sure if I was allowed to but then I saw she's at the level I'm supposed to talk about her up and down so Jessica Sager you're the best everybody go to patreon.com slash natty bumper car if you want I'd love it I mean I love you regardless but I would super love that it'd be cool um and then this episode is called toe why because I broke my toe today my little toe my pinky toe on my right foot is that nice no how did I do that I stood up and I walked directly into a very heavy cabinet and it I I was on the ground I yelped I fell on the ground and I was just like rolling around like and then you know what happened of course no Rufus T. Rufus didn't show up neither did Pig but Banjo my dog he came over with his cone and he tried to love me to death

Producer: this has been a non-productive media presentation executive producer Frank Hablawi this has been a non-productive media presentation executive producer Frank Hablawi this program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a creative commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it for more information visit non-productive.com

Podcast: Download | Embed
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May 19, 2021
Bumperpodcast #391 – Season 2 – Money

Natty is back to his old tricks. Monster shows up, as do a bunch of other people – and, they all want their money!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

About This Episode

In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar discovers he's in serious financial trouble. What starts as a casual conversation with Monster quickly escalates when Rufus T. Rufus arrives to settle a debt—by making Natty pay it. Things spiral out of control as Reginald reveals contractual obligations, Doodle Poodle mentions unpaid commissions, and even Producer refuses to work until he's paid. By the end, Natty realizes he owes money to practically everyone in the studio. The episode features witty wordplay about character names and a running gag about Reginald being a "classically trained actor" who's actually a pipe fitter.

Memorable Quotes

“Let me get this straight, I owe Rufus money, Rufus owes Monster money, I owe Reginald money and I owe Pig money. So it feels like other than you Monster, I owe everyone in this room money.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“The more plays, the more pays you know.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“I can't come in right now because Natty owes me too much money and so I'm not going to do any work.”
— Producer

Topics: #money #debt #friendship #deception #contracts #employment #chaos #misunderstandings

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: Hey monster, what's going on? What a surprise. I wasn't expecting you here today you don't say that's crazy I didn't know about that are you serious hey are we really so this we're just gonna go back to the with the month monsters here now I get it I get it but I had no issue with you monster you're great you're great a guest you're very clean you're very punctual however we were trying to take the podcast into a completely different direction that they got you know like to have to have it make sense it's season two now we've grown up and we we wanted to have a plan and yeah I just didn't know that we were already well at uh monster level yeah well I I was I I was trying to take things back like old school you know like really bring it back and because right for a long time right now it's been like me you Rufus uh Reginald yeah Reginald do you know him

Doodle Poodle: really I had no idea

Natty Bumpercar: so you guys went to the same school together that's that's that's are you a classically trained actor the way he is I can't believe we're doing this really he's not even a classically trained actor you guys went to trade school you're you're you're a pipe fitter I had no I this is my mind is blown I hired him uh or you like see whatever a couple episodes ago to play future me and because he said he was a classically trained actor and now I find out that that he's not and the trades obviously are a great way to go to school and great thing to learn and uh you know to have a future but he's it could completely lie to me he pulled the wool over my eyes ears he pulled the wool over my head how does that work he pulled the wool over your eyes and ears

Doodle Poodle: well actually actually I'm not it's me and sometimes people say that I I look like a little bit like a uh a lamb who has wool because I have a poodle and I have curly hair

Natty Bumpercar: that's actually a good point yeah yeah well of course and I think people understand that but yeah you're right doodle poodle you do look a little bit like a lamb because of the curly hair but you know your name is doodle poodle and so it kind of throws off the whole game like people know that you're a poodle who likes to do

Doodle Poodle: it's very little people know that you're a pig because your name is right so um uh so doodle

Natty Bumpercar: poodle I think what he was saying is you actually have what you are a poodle and what you like to do to doodle in your name uh his name is Aloysius J Pig so I mean yeah there is that defining he's a pig in his name but Aloysius isn't really uh yeah exactly everyone so my name is uh Rufus T Rufus and that would be like if my name was uh expert something like that you understand so doodle poodle you are a doodle who poodles and uh excuse me I gotta flip that on its side you are a poodle who doodles uh Aloysius you are of course the star of the show the big man of the hour loving it up loving the power yeah dude wait I got confused sorry I messed my rhyme that's okay no I thought you were really you were you sound like you're about to really uh bust out some jams as the kids are saying these days hey Rufus nice to see you what have you been up to well as a point of contention as a point of bonafide uh monster over here uh I owe him uh of some money and I decided to stop on by normally I would stop on by the other way by not stopping on by but today I decided to uh to rectify to uh reconfigure to you know to do hard jobs uh uh obloviate a bit uh on the facts in the matter at hand ipso facto and and and and pay the man back you're actually gonna pay him back you've never paid me back you've owed me money for like uh decades like millennia like a long time mighty long time and i don't feel like i've ever even seen a penny from you like you you make we've been out to dinner where you had the opportunity just to pick up my tab to pay me back and you still you wouldn't even do that you you you you snuck out the back and left me with a bill which then made you owe me more money all right okay okay okay let's all just calm down a little bit here uh whoo so holy cow um i lost my train of thought that growl was very intense uh uh uh monster um but i'm glad rufus that you came by to to settle up your debt i think that's a great thing for you to do it's it's like an all-new rufus paying off debts so um speaking of paying off uh debts natty uh you actually uh here's my bill for services rendered and uh if you could just pay me in cash right now that what i'm gonna do is just slide those stacks over the monster and uh you're gonna be clear then i'm gonna be clear and then we're all gonna be clear understand okay now i now i kind of see what's happening wait okay so i i don't i owe you money i don't think i owe you what service is rendered what are we talking about well i looked over the patreon uh patreon.com natty bumper car and there was some legal issues i had to attend to uh and then there was the contract of uh rosenkrantz or guildenstern whatever his name was wait you just made me forget his name when you did that you're rufus rosen how did you just did you just messed up my brain now i can't remember his name hello everyone it's me reginald it's very happy to see everyone here and monsters what it's i can't believe i haven't seen you since university meow meow meow well yes indubitably indeed i i understand that yes there is some uh money some funds that are owed to me and i'd greatly appreciate if i could get my hands on wait so who owes you money reginald well see now natty that's what i came to discuss with you so according to these contracts which have your uh uh uh signature on the bottom uh he he was due to be paid a significant amount of money some funds you understand so wait so i owe him money well yeah so it's it's a little confusing but actually anytime the episode is played he's supposed to get a cut you understand so you got his flat fee and then every time an episode is played he gets some uh a little bit of money and uh i didn't want to you know it's good news but the the podcast is is doing well and it's charting around the world around the planet people are listening to it's australia how you doing i got south korea i think it was how you're doing all right so we're doing wonderfully uh however the bad side the downside is the more plays the more pays you know let me get this straight i've been on this show for 390 to 91 episodes i never got any money and all of a sudden this dude who uh came in and and tricked us he's getting money for every time somebody listens it doesn't make any sense rufus you're my lawyer and you're taking care of this

Doodle Poodle: guy not me right so i feel like i need a little bit of money too is what i'm saying i literally

Natty Bumpercar: don't even know why we do this podcast anymore so let me get this straight uh i owe rufus money rufus owes monster money i owe reginald money and i owe pig money so it feels like other than you monster i owe everyone in this room money which is just ridiculous wait are you serious i thought i paid you back for that so i owe you for that too come on this is for a timeshare deal that monster and i went on so now i owe everyone does anyone owe me any money uh no natty no no no uh no one owes you anything all right you're just you're lucky to have us here you're lucky that we're uh even engaged because you know with the uh financial situation as it is and you being uh out of pocket quite a bit let's just say it's not a ideal situation can we delete that that that whole channel every time somebody records on that layer it does we can only get one channel i don't understand what's happening there but we got to fix that producer can you come in and can you can you work on this

Producer: thing i can't come in right now because natty owes me too much money and so i'm not going to do any work it's a work of sin i'm not going to do any work it's a work of sin i'm not going to do any work it's a work of sin

Natty Bumpercar: so now i owe producer money too awesome doodle poodle how are we are we pretty uh pretty square

Doodle Poodle: we pretty good actually i wasn't gonna bring it up but i was working on a commission of a portrait that you were you hired me for and you said you were gonna pay me part of it up front so i could

Natty Bumpercar: get materials and you never did and cool cool cool uh all right well then you know what i'm gonna go get a second job and i'm gonna go get a second job and i'm gonna go get a second job or if you guys want to go to patreon.com slash natty bumper car and join that'd be amazing because evidently i've got bills to pay hey it's good to see everyone thrilled we're doing the podcast i'm natty bumper car and you my little bumper pod casketeers are the best things in the world

Unknown: this has been a non-productive media presentation executive producer frank hablaui this program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a creative commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it for more information visit non-productive.com

Doodle Poodle: you

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April 7, 2021
Bumperpodcast #388 – Season 2

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A future version of Natty appears and sends the crew into a real mystery. What is the ‘everything that happened before everything happened’? Is Doodle Poodle a seer of the future? And – what is that odd smell?? Stay tuned as we dig in to the what not!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!!

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Bumperpodcast #388 Season 2

Well we would. What year is this place. What decade. I don’t i don’t. I’m very confused right now. Don’t understand what’s happening very leery. Everything is going very blurry who hi. I’m Aloysius j. pig who you haven’t seen you in a lifetime. It’s been so very very long. Wait a minute. I you Natty bubbas. It’s me. I don osteen yelich show show old in your voice. Sounds on your friend and you kind of smell ovid funding and what. I always just. I was sitting in a cave. The bright lad flashed. I was here. i don’t recognize this place. I recognized you. Of course. But i don’t know when i am old. Okay so when you is is twenty. Twenty twenty twenty one twenty. What twenty twenty one. Twenty two hundred twenty one years you. You’re we’re still in age or accounting the us in one by one. Yeah ervin’s of course we were gonna count the as i don’t mean no same. Come from we count. The is based on quadra dramatic equation variable relations still understand with that we sell a bunch of gibberish and it sounded like you took the biggest words pop the squish them altogether to nine. Now you count us one by one. It’s like twenty twenty twenty twenty one twenty two twenty three tetra. I twenty five twenty four. I don’t know but you know what i’m saying. Like one zero one two one two one. That’s one two one two one two. Guess you talking in code now. Have we every crossed that rubicon talking in code. Now now i ain’t never cross no rubicon that is I always just counted awaited. I count one two one toe. One two set a fine foods. Twenty twenty one. Do you want some water. You have water stills his grasp we got one oh tweet from to sink from the test refrigerator still refrigeration and water in this time wonderful wonderful. I think i’ve i’ve made it back to where. I’m supposed to be back to where i can fix everything before. Everything happens. everything everything happened in. I ain’t understand skew them everybody. It’s myself and myself and myself. Mr rufus t rufus in charge and large and in the room. And say hello to you real soon. So i’m wondering Aloysius j. pig lou. Who just man is right over here. Who is he and why is he in here. What is he talking about fixing any way in any who and how rufus it’s me it’s not a bumper the future. I suppose i’ve been told. I was in a cave cave. There was a very bright light. And i can’t breathe just talking to me. You have your own lawyer representation. Your lawyer from the future of hasn’t were because he can’t just come in here and start spouting and giving me words and spinning yong’s and tell them stories because all of this can be used as a court of law. You understand sir after understand that you all my lawyer you were my lawyer before everything happened and then everything happened. you understand. You guided me up until you’re very very end. What are you saying. Rufus rufus t rufus went to someway. I heard that as well. And i’m back in a way little bit here because i sounded a little bit like a threat that sounded a little bit aggressive. If you will. And i of course don’t appreciate a man such a jew telling me anything about all as it were and i think it’s all rufus you know. It’s it’s wonderful to hear your jibber-jabber. It’s been so long it’s been so lonely. I’ve been by myself for a long time with nothing. No one to speak to know under speak of.

It’s been very difficult like it was very difficult. So when you say no one does that. Include like no peixe. What are we talking about. Pig pig to be found neria pig to be heard. It was the worst times now does sound pretty to church it. I’m getting a little uncomfortable. Telling me a little bit more about this cave in which you were was. It’s a regulated caves. Should you have been with. A handrails. Was at slipper. It’s all was the any kind of batson thing and vermins. When i’m asking any kind of dangerous issue because we might be able to build this up into aches against the caves it’d be not a bumper gop Guided by rufus st rufus versus caves. A cave. money goes real sand could be a real windfall for us. My friend rufus i understand and i appreciate your trying to toe the line in and find your loyally lawyer loyally in this as you do. You’re an expert at all of these things i declared. The players is much larger than litigation against holes in the ground. This is something much larger than all of us. This is everything that happened. And then everything that food house on a confusion. A lot of talk about kiva. If maybe i could make some drawings piece of your shins and then we could figure out exactly what happened. Maybe some hampshire’s nice okay. yes. I don’t know how to pursue i’m flummoxed i i’m fading i need some rest. I haven’t talked many many many times. Okay so i mean we can give you some place to rest until we figure this stuff out of course but i think you’re gonna wanna take a shower because you also it’s i’m this is coming from a pig. I am pig aloe issues. Of course i’m going to say it’s it smells like you. Also having bathed in many a time time at times as potentially possible. We have no water to sip. We have no water to drink rehab at all. So there’s the only way we are able to bay this much like a baby where we find a nice dry patch and we just powder all cells down with it and so if just hopes to keep the flies off. There’s a lot of flies or i come from. And it helps to keep us protected from some of the things that are out there now. This is a lot of vagaries. You’re putting out the everything that happened with everything. The things that out there. That has a cave blue line. We don’t know anything about anything. Big wiz Natty Bumpercar again. My friend alex com name. I have not heard in a long time spoken allow. Yeah we understand. Grandpa the whatever we’re gonna say future bumper car or whatever dystopia in bumper car bumper car from the in time i dunno Bumpercar after the everything is everything. That’s we got it. I think roe v is asking way than Natty familiar with is is currently aims precisely correct alloway says thank you sir for stepping in good clarifying and quantifying and explaining what i was trying to think if we can get natty over here maybe this dog can make some drawings as he does and can we can introduce track to can bring him on understand. The space time continuum willocks for in the same room together. We can’t see we can’t be near each other. It’s just a possible. Can you talk on the phone to send a letter what we’re trying to. We’re playing this by all right. Adorable little pig is and we’re trying to figure it out and you’re not super helping on if i’m to be honest from the be real. I saw harry.

Why you’re talking. Nice look looks like you did an excellent. this is a wonderful i. i wasn’t bad but to me. I expert as it. Tears looked like a cave to me. Blue light right. That’s one of this dog drool. This out wasn’t there. He’s he’s captured the moment perfectly. This dog is some sort of a into the future. I’ve come from. We have to work. We have to figure this out. We have to solve this mystery and ladies and gentlemen. I think that’s why it makes sense to call this. The official start of season to- of the bumper pod cased three hundred eighty eight episodes in the making. What is the everything that happened. After everything happened what is future pump whereas regular bumper doro portal into the future and win. Am i going to get some lunch very very hunger right now. I would also like some lingerie. I haven’t eaten and yeah in a time. That’s what time we get it. We understand it’s a rough place. Came from someone is going gonna stay here and to pick me up an you know i’d love. This has been a nonproductive presentation executive producer. Frank qablawi this program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a creative commons attribution noncommercial notary but its license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it for more information visit. Non dash productive dot com.
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About This Episode

In episode 388, the Bumperpodcast launches Season 2 with a mysterious twist as a confused, older version of Natty Bumpercar emerges from a cave claiming to be from the future. Rufus T. Rufus and Aloysious J. Pig struggle to understand this disheveled time traveler who speaks of 'everything that happened' and warns that the space-time continuum will explode if he meets his present-day self. Doodle Poodle mysteriously draws an accurate picture of the cave despite never having been there, suggesting he might be a seer. The episode ends with our heroes deciding to solve this mystery while the dystopian Bumpercar desperately needs a shower and lunch.

Memorable Quotes

“We count the years based on quadradramatic, equational, variable relations.”
— Rufus T. Rufus (Future Natty)

“It smells like you also haven't bathed in many a time, a time, a time. And this is coming from a pig. I am a pig.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“Cave money goes deep. It could be a real windfall for us, my friend.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #timetravel #sciencefiction #mystery #seasonpremiere #alternatetimeline #caves #friendship #comedy

Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle

Full Transcript

Rufus T. Rufus: I don't understand. Where are we? What year is it? Where is this place? What decade? I don't understand. I'm very confused right now. I don't understand what's happening. It's very bleary. Everything has gone very bleary.

Aloysious J. Pig: Hey there. Who? Hi. I'm Aloysius J. Pig. Who are you?

Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, Aloysius J. Pig. I haven't seen you in a lifetime. It's been so very, very long.

Aloysious J. Pig: Wait a minute. Are you Natty Bubbica? Yes. It is me. I don't understand. You look so old, and your voice sounds all different, and you kind of smell a little bit funny.

Rufus T. Rufus: I don't know what's going on. Aloysius, I was sitting in a cave, and then a bright light flashed, and then all of a sudden I was here. I don't recognize this place. I recognize… You, of course, but I don't know when I am or where I am.

Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. So, when you is, is it 2020, 2021, 2021, 2021?

Rufus T. Rufus: 2021. So we're still in an age where we're counting the years one by one.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Of course we are. How else are we going to count the years? I don't mean no sense.

Rufus T. Rufus: Well, I come from… We count the years based on quadradramatic, equational, variable relations. I do understand what that means.

Aloysious J. Pig: That was all a bunch of gibberish. It sounded like you took the biggest words that popped into your head, and you squished them all together. No, no. You count years one by one. It's like 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, etc. That's just 25. 25. 24. I don't know, but you know what I'm saying. No. It's just like one-two, one-two, one-two, one-two.

Rufus T. Rufus: It's one-two, one-two, one-two, and you're talking in code now. Have we crossed that Rubicon, and we're all talking in code now?

Aloysious J. Pig: No. No. I ain't never crossed no Rubicon. I don't know what that is, even. I was just counting the way that I count. One-two, one-two, one-two, etc.

Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, okay. Oh, fine, fine. So it's 2021.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Do you want some, uh, water? Oh! What? You have water still in this time. You sounded raspy. I was… I'm very… Yeah, of course we got water. No! We got it from the sink, from the tap. The sink?

Rufus T. Rufus: Or from the refrigerator. You still have refrigeration and water in this time. Wonderful. Wonderful. I think I've made it back to where I'm supposed to be. Back to where I was. Back to where I'm supposed to be. Back to where I can fix everything before… What do you mean?

Aloysious J. Pig: Everything happens. What is everything and everything happening? I… I ain't understand.

Rufus T. Rufus: Now, excuse me, everybody. Uh, it's, uh, myself and myself and myself, Mr. Rufus T. Rufus in charge and large and in the room and saying hello to you real soon. Hello. So, I'm wondering, Aloysius J. Pigaloo, who this man is right over here. Rufus. Who is he and why is he in here and what is he talking about fixing anyway and any who and any how? Rufus, it's, it's, it's, it's me. It's Natty Bumpercar from the future, I suppose, is what I've been told. I was in a cave. You see, I was in a cave and there was a very bright light and I… He can't be just talking to me. Do you have your own lawyer representation? Your lawyer from the future, as it were? Because he can't just come in here and start… Spouting off and giving me words and spinning yarns and telling stories because all of this can be used in a court of law, you understand, sir? You have to understand that you are my lawyer. You, you, you were my lawyer before everything happened and then everything happened. You understand? You guided me up until your very end.

Aloysious J. Pig: His very end? What are you saying? Rufus. Rufus, Rufus T. Rufus went away somewhere?

Rufus T. Rufus: No, I heard that as well, Aloysius, and I'm backing away a little bit here because I sounded a little bit like a threat. It sounded a little bit aggressive, if you will, and I, of course, don't appreciate a man such as you telling me anything about anything or, as it were, anything at all. Rufus, you, you don't know, it's, it's wonderful to hear your jibber-jerk. It's been so long. I've been so lonely. I've been by myself for a long time with nothing, no one to speak to, no one to speak of. It's been very difficult.

Aloysious J. Pig: Sounds like it was very difficult. So when you say no one, does that include, like, no pigs? No. What are we talking about here?

Rufus T. Rufus: Nary a pig to be seen. Nary a pig to be found. Nary a pig to be heard. It was the worst of times. Now, it does sound pretty tragic, and I'm getting a little bit uncomfortable, so tell me a little bit more about this cave in which you were. Was it a regulated cave? Should you have been with the handrails? Was it slippery at all? Was there any kind of bats or anything, any vermin is what I'm asking, any kind of dangerous issue? Because we might be able to build this up into a cave. We might be able to build this up into a case against the caves. It'd be Natty Bumper Cop, guided by Rufus T. Rufus, versus caves. No. Cave money goes deep. Rufus. It could be a real windfall for us, my friend. Rufus, I understand and I appreciate you trying to toe the line and find your loyally, loyally, loyally angle in this as you do. You're an expert at all of these things. I declare, I do declare. Of course. This is much larger than litigation against holes in the ground. This is something much larger than all of us. This is everything that happened and then everything that happened.

Doodle Poodle: Um, hey everybody, it's me, Doodle Poodle. Hello. I was hearing a lot of confusion and a lot of talk about caves. And I was wondering if maybe I could make some drawings based off of your descriptions. And then we could figure out exactly what happened. And then maybe that could give us some answers.

Rufus T. Rufus: And then I… Doodle Poodle, you're still here?

Doodle Poodle: Yeah.

Rufus T. Rufus: Okay. Yes. I don't know how to proceed. I'm flummoxed. I'm fading. I need some rest. I haven't slept in many, many, many times. Okay. So, I mean, we can give you some place to rest until we figure this stuff out, of course. But I think first you're going to want to take a shower because you also, it's, and I'm, this is coming from a pig.

Aloysious J. Pig: I am a pig. Aloysius, of course. I'm going to say it's, it's, it smells like you also haven't bathed in many a time, a time, a time. Is this, is this potentially possible? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Is this possibly possible?

Rufus T. Rufus: We have no water to sip. We have no water to drink. We have no water at all. So there is the only way we are able to bathe is much like a baby bird where we find a nice dry patch and we just powder ourselves down with it. And so it just helps to keep the flies off. There's a lot of flies where I come from. And it helps. It helps to keep us protected from some of the things that are out there. Now this is a lot of vagaries that you're putting out. Everything that happened with the everything, the things that are out there. There's a cave. There's a blue light. We don't know anything about anything. Pig, where's Natty Bumpercar? Again, my friend, I am Natty Bumpercar. It's a name I have not heard before. I have not heard in a long time spoken aloud, though.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, we understand, Grandpa, that you're whatever. We're going to say future Bumpercar or whatever, dystopian Bumpercar, Bumpercar from the end time. I don't know. Bumpercar after the everything is everything. That's, we got it. I think Rufus is asking where the Natty that we're more familiar with is currently at.

Rufus T. Rufus: Precisely correct, Aloysius. Thank you, sir, for stepping in. Thank you. And clarifying and quantifying and, you know, explaining what I was trying to do. I think if we could get Natty over here, maybe this dog can make some drawings as he does. And Natty can, we can introduce him. No. And we can try to. You can't bring him here. Don't you understand? The space time continuum will explode if we're in the same room together. We can't see each other. We can't be near each other. But. It's just impossible.

Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. Can you talk on the phone or send a letter? I don't know. I mean, we're trying to figure, we're playing this by ear. All right. Adorable little pig ears. And we're trying to figure it out. And you're not super helping on, if I'm to be honest, if I'm to be real. So. Hey, everybody.

Doodle Poodle: While you're all talking, I drew this nice little doodle of what maybe the cave looks like. And I don't know. Did I do a good job?

Rufus T. Rufus: You did an excellent, this is a wonderful cave drawing. I mean, I wasn't there, but to me, to my eye, expert as it tears, it looked like a cave to me. So with the blue, I see the blue light right there. That's wonderful. How did this dog draw this? It's, he wasn't there. He's, he's captured the moment perfectly. This dog is some sort of a seer into the future where I've come from. We have to work. We have to figure this out.

Aloysious J. Pig: We have to solve this mystery. And ladies and gentlemen, I think that's why it makes sense to call this the official start of season two of the bumper podcast, 388 episodes in the making. What is the everything that happened after everything happened? What is future bumper car? And where's our regular bumper car?

Rufus T. Rufus: Is doodle poodle really a seer into the future? And when am I going to get some lunch? I'm very, very hungry right now.

Aloysious J. Pig: I would also like some lunch. I haven't eaten in. Yeah. In a time that for a time that we get it. We understand. It's a rough place where you came from. We'll get you some lunch.

Doodle Poodle: I'm just going to stay here and doodle. But if you're going to pick me up a banana, you know, I'd love one.

Unknown: Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt.

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January 21, 2021
Bumperpodcast #386 – A new microphone

Natty is still stuck in a car – but, now he has a new microphone. He also has no lunch …. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!!

About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar and Aloysious J. Pig discuss the podcast's irregular recording schedule in this hilariously chaotic episode. Pig discovers he's been getting paid while Natty works for mere 'exposure,' leading to a debate about artist compensation featuring negotiated payment in tacos and quesadillas. Rufus T. Rufus weighs in on contracts and accounting while managing to mangle the names of Pig's other show's characters. The gang touches on missed episodes, Halloween stories that are now too old to tell, and lost computers before wrapping up with detailed nacho orders and pandemic safety reminders.

Memorable Quotes

“Exposure doesn't buy me any tacos”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“We're paying you with experience. This is a high profile gig, which means you're getting a lot of eyeballs, a lot of ears on your product.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“You gotta pay the talent and everybody knows that I'm the talent. I can make a little song, I could do a little dance, I could tell a couple jokes.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #comedy #podcasting #artistcompensation #contracts #food #recordingschedules #friendship

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: well well well if it isn't the bumper podcast the uh once every uh three or four weeks uh podcast that happens sometimes exciting news uh we got a little microphone that plugs into the computer so that as i'm sitting in the car i don't know if you listened to the last episode it was so long ago i barely remember it myself but i can i can sit in the car and and try to record these things because uh the issue being uh i'm sitting in my car a lot i don't have access to uh the studio back at headquarters and uh so i um hey bumper car what's going on everybody everybody it's my friend pig aloesius jay pig what's going on aloesius jay pig that's a great song and everything uh i was wondering about this new recording schedule do i still get paid the same amount wait wait what you get paid to do the bumper i didn't know that who's signing those checks well as you can imagine netty uh it's our rufus t rufus actually comes in and signs the ledger the signs the does the accounting that does the uh balance into the books as it were and i haven't charge of uh human resources well we have human resources accounting uh-huh let's see the legal department yeah that makes sense as i do that as well and uh got my i got my uh fingers in a lot of pies as as as it were oh cool so i mean i guess that begs the question if if pig is getting does that mean that like i get paid as well well that's that's a terrific question uh for you to ask uh i don't know if you've looked at your contract lately but uh what we're paying you with is experience we're paying you this is a high profile uh gig uh as as they say and that means you're getting a lot of eyeballs a lot of ears on your product which means you get to promote yourself you understand so are you getting paid yes insofacto you are getting paid long term this is a long game of getting your uh name out there uh for people to go and then purchase whatever products you have or whatever it is i honestly natty it's you you got the best of both worlds you get to come on the bubba podcast you get to do your thing and then people everybody out there everybody in the world did like oh natty bumper car i gotta go get me some of that bumper car whatever you know your uh what is it your uh yogurt whatever yum yum sure sure yeah uh yeah so it's really getting getting your name out there and that's that's worth more than any money you could ever buy you i would think i i i kind of disagree i mean i kind of see what you guys are saying um that seems to happen a lot with uh artists and uh comedian whatever kind of you know like entrepreneur like not opportune uh entertainers where people are like hey you want to come do my show and you're like yeah sure uh you know what's what does it pay and they say oh this is a non-paying gig but just think of all the exposure you're gonna get and you're like exposure doesn't buy me any tacos now hold on a second as i just heard you say if you'd like to be paid in tacos then we can certainly cut back on some of the exposure because you know we do promote this and uh maybe work that out with a chimichanga a chalupa something like that a little taco action a burrito uh maybe a i don't know a chalupa a quesadilla i know we could do that as well i know we had a uh a uh an entertainer uh that we used to pay in uh in in in in in quesadilla and he was very happy with the deal uh and my uh contract that uh lunch is actually provided and you're talking about all this food if i could get just a plate of nachos today wait i would very much appreciate it are you kidding me you have you get lunch and you get paid this is how how who who is who did your contract this doesn't make any sense to me like i it's the bumper podcast i am natty bumper car and so it's named after me me and here we go always comes back to the name listen natty you gotta pay the talent and everybody knows that i'm the talent i can make a little song i could do a little dance i could tell a couple jokes okay i do jokes everybody's here for pig well yeah but um i mean i guess a lot of people are here for me too probably i mean like for instance we've been recording so infrequently that i have all kinds of cool fun stories like i could talk about halloween yeah so halloween already happened and uh some people aren't gonna be interested because it was a while it was you know it's last week so it's like that's old news so you gotta maybe uh think of something else um what about oh ah what about i don't think i told anybody about when we lost the computer and what a big you know deal that turned into and and and how crazy that was for a few days right i uh again it was like it was it feels like that was like a year ago and maybe more i don't know it was a long time ago i think we can agree on that right i don't well i don't think it was it was quite that long ago but i mean i guess it was a little while ago but it was such a crazy story that i thought that people might want to hear it or i don't know i could talk about like the outdoor comedy shows that you know i've done a few i don't want to step on your toes but it's kind of like a whatever floats your boat type of situation uh bumper car uh me you know i like uh to take every opportunity every show to kind of uh you know i i call it i say kick out the jams raise the roof i don't like to rehash i don't like to go back in time i like to look forward in time if you understand okay a little bit of time i don't like to go back in time i like to look forward in time little pig progress is what i'm all about okay um yeah you really have deflated you've deflated me taking the wind out of my sails here aloysius um oh i forgot to tell you too there are some people who have missed you uh and or are asking me how you have been doing uh yeah who's somebody's asking you about me yeah i hope you're not telling you don't talk to you what do you say because i know i'm interested in in that which we're in a whole new world right now who exactly is asking you about me i mean based on your current reaction i don't think i feel like giving out any names but just people who are concerned they haven't seen you you you just abruptly stopped doing uh hanging out with pig and pals and you know because we haven't been recording the podcast as often like people are just kind of just like where's where's pig haven't seen pig and uh that's really all they asked me that it's not anything beyond that it's just like where is pig is pig okay we miss pig now i believe i can step in here uh pig is currently under contract contractual uh re-mitigation for hanging out with pig and pals and we're trying to figure out how to bring the show back because we understand that it was beloved as in the community in the whole world somebody once said it brings a light to the day in the darkness and especially now that you know it's dark when you wake up and it's dark when you go to bed we need more light we need more aloes we need more uh i don't know all the other little friends that come along there's i don't know uh timmy maybe uh zippy phil i don't know the names necessarily but you know there's like a horse a frog whoever it is but uh a lot of dinosaurs i remember that but anyway we're we're we're working behind the scenes to see what we can get done okay i i love uh rufus the names i don't think you even got one right you're like oh you know we got marshmallow we got uh an animal cracker we got uh um uh shampoo random things i love shampoo i like i like zippy and skippy no it's a good one i think uh oh well okay well then that makes me happy and i think maybe that and also people missed you because you were doing the uh open mic you were sneaking in at the end of the open mic when it was virtual and to the cedar beans show and and that hasn't been happening virtually lately and so uh people have been missing you there too so i mean i you know you were really out there and you were there for a while pig and uh feels like you've kind of pulled back a little bit which is totally understandable you got a lot on your plate yes she's like an eating thing like you say i eat too much food no that's not what it was at all i was just saying you you have a lot that you're responsible for maybe i guess that's what i'm trying to say um anyway cool uh yeah so listen bumper car i'm glad you're here i'm glad you got this this cool new microphone that we can try to do shows with so hopefully you'll be able to hear me you can start doing more shows then people will get more pig which will make more people happy um and again uh i don't know who's responsible for getting my lunch today rufus but nachos would be nice with some black olives some cheese i don't no sour cream please it makes the chips kind of yucky uh guacamole do it like that a couple of onions you know uh and uh tomatoes some uh uh uh what's that it called picante no it's uh it's uh it's salsa picante what am i thinking what's picante i don't know i don't know you know how i like it just my my normal order so i'm uh i guess if we're doing lunch orders that i'm actually pretty hungry as well so i would love to get in on this pig it was great talking to you and i uh no no so natty you actually remember you don't get lunch on your contract you don't get nothing you get no zero okay zilch okay nada all right all right so you maybe you can share off a pig's plate or get something else okay so i guess no lunch for me but i'm glad we just recorded an episode i hope you're doing well we've missed you tremendously please stay safe um keep social distancing keep wearing masks wash your paws wash your claws wash your hands woman and man we got to get through this and the only way we're going to get through this is together bumper podcast this has been a non-productive media presentation executive producer frank

Producer: hablaui this program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a creative commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license please share it but ask before trying to change it or not or sell it for more information visit non-productive.com

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November 5, 2020