Tag: Food

Bumperpodcast 116 – Fluffy stuff holidays

Here come holidays … Here come holidays … Right down manic Bumpercar lane! Natty is pretty excited today … perhaps it’s because he has been eating is vitamins?!

What kinds of holidays do you celebrate? Please tell us by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then – maybe we’ll celebrate it too.

Holiday!

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About This Episode

In episode 116 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares his unique holiday observations from Coffee Can Alley headquarters. Natty discusses his unusual holiday celebration involving an entire bag of strawberry cotton candy marketed as "fluffy stuff" that turned out to be one giant lump instead of individual snowballs. He goes on a hilarious tangent about vitamins, proposing that vitamin manufacturers should make cotton candy-flavored vitamins instead of gummies. Natty also ponders why holidays are scheduled during cold weather and theorizes that summer itself is essentially one long holiday because of the nice weather, while winter holidays exist to give people something to look forward to during terrible weather.

Memorable Quotes

“In the olden times everyone thought that bells every time that you heard a bell it meant that you would get a nickel and the crazy thing was is this was before nickels were even invented yet.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Why don't we just have vitamins that are in the shape or the form of fluffy stuff? Hey welcome to the midway kid what are you up to today you look like you have a vitamin d deficiency.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Summer itself pretty much a holiday because it's nice out so we're gonna keep summer where it is.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #holidays #cottoncandy #vitamins #winter #weather #food #health #seasonaltraditions

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: ho ho holidays ho ho holidays hum hum hum hum hum hey everybody it's me netty bumper car and it's a great exciting fun thrilling here day here in uh coffee can alley and headquarters and why is that well i don't know what kind of holidays you have what do you do do you like are you like hey it's banana friday or whatever or like are you like hey in the olden times everyone thought that bells every time that you heard a bell it meant that you would get a nickel and the crazy thing was is this was before nickels were even invented yet so people would hear bells and think that they were going to get nickels but not even know what nickels were but they were excited because people love holidays and people love bells last year last night me what i did to celebrate was i ate an entire bag of cotton candy by myself and it was on the box in the bag it said it said uh snowballs and it said fluffy stuff and i thought that it was going to be like little snowballs that i'd be able to individually eat like a gentleman but no in the company i mean it was in mixed company i was with other people but here's what happened is i opened the bag it was just a giant lump of white white not so fluffy stuff kind of tightly compacted uh any less delicious no clearly not obviously not because my holidays consist of eating delicious stuff delicious fluffy stuff what was the flavor bumper car the flavor was strawberry so at least i know it was healthy for me because you know i need my vitamins i need my fluffy stuff vitamins here's a weird thing i'm supposed to be talking about holidays but i'm gonna go on a tangent can you believe that around headquarters we've been taking vitamins lately a lot of vitamins and i prefer my you know the gummy vitamins so why can't i have vitamins that are in the shape or the form of fluffy stuff fluffy stuff vitamins hey welcome to the midway kid what are you up to today you look like you have a vitamin d deficiency why don't you try some of this fluffy stuff what's that feel better already of course you do because kids love cotton candy they don't love vitamins they love gummies why don't we just stick with gummies let's talk about holidays are you excited about the holidays is it cold where you are a lot of times during the holidays it gets cold i don't know why that happens i don't know why they plan it that way feels like maybe it'd be nice to have you know wait wait a minute i was gonna say it would be nice to have a holiday in a summer but here's the thing uh summer itself pretty much a holiday because it's nice out so we're gonna keep summer where it is i think they put the holidays in the summer because it's nice out so we're gonna keep summer where it is in the middle of this winter stuff even though it's not the middle we've just started it because winter is so terrible and people need something to look forward to and so they're like hey you know summer's not gonna be around for a while so why don't we give them a holiday right now love it

December 23, 2011
Bumperpodcast 112 – I’m swooning!

It is episode one tweezie – that is 112 for all of you not in the know … but – you are now in the know – because – you – know – me!

Then – we have a guest – then we talk about food and food and food …

I’m starting to swoon just thinking about it!

Listen to the Bumperpodcast and get your fill of awesome!

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November 30, 2011
Bumperpodcast 111 – Do you eat?

Does anyone eat a meal while lisening to the Bumperpodcast? How quick of an eater are you – anyways? I want to make sure that we don’t promote upset tummys … Because – I am anti-upset-tummy.

Yes I am.

Also – where in the world is Turkey hiding?! You’ll only know if you sit down, pull up a plate and listen to the Bumperpodcast!

Nom, nom, nom!

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About This Episode

In Bumperpodcast episode 111, host Natty Bumpercar celebrates cooking day at headquarters after shelling carrots, shucking eggs, and making fresh butter. Natty shares his philosophy about sweet potatoes maintaining his sweetness level and offers listeners a unique challenge: try eating an entire restaurant meal during the podcast's short runtime. He addresses listener mail asking about Turkey's whereabouts after last week's appearance, though the mysterious character seems to be hiding. This episode features Natty's signature rambling humor and his struggle to pronounce "restaurant," settling on "red turon" instead.

Memorable Quotes

“People come up to me and they say hey bumper car you don't seem sweet enough to me and I say well well well that's why I eat a sweet potato every single day.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“If you go to a red turon and you order your meal… when that plate hits the table then is when you're gonna press play and then just have at it.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I appreciate that I've never been called a shenanigan meister… it's shenanigan dash meister.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #cooking #food #sweetpotatoes #restaurants #listenermail #turkey #humor

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hello bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and i am having a tremendous day why because i just shelled 10 pounds of carrots and i shucked 10 eggs and i milked four cows and made butter and because i'm cooking it's cooking day here at the bumper podcast here at headquarters and uh everyone is getting involved we've got the brine ready we've got the sweet potatoes ready because hey we're not sweet enough around here you know what i'm saying people come up to me and they say hey bumper car you don't seem sweet enough to me and i say well well well that's why i eat a sweet potato every single day it's to maintain this certain level of uh zuccar that i have that's sugar sugar is sweet just like me just like sweet potatoes what are you eating right now are you eating anything i don't even know do people eat when they listen to the bumper podcast it would be a very quick meal like if you went to a red restaurant a red a red turon is what i was trying to say there but my i stopped if you go to a red turon uh and you order your meal and you're listening to the bumper podcast probably by the time the meal comes out you're gonna be way done you're gonna be finished listening and then you're gonna be sitting there so what i'm recommending is if you go to a restaurant order your meal right and when you see the waiter waitress coming over carrying your food as soon as that plate hits the table then is when you're gonna press play and then just have at it see how far you get you've got three minutes and sometimes eight seconds or something like that i mean that seems like plenty of time to eat to me to enjoy a meal you know what hold on if your meal involves cutting if it's like a steak or anything like that or even a big potato like go ahead and prepare it you know if you if you need to put ketchup on the plate do that beforehand uh i'm saying any prep work you do do that otherwise you're not going to be able to enjoy the bumper podcast and i want you to enjoy it it's so important to me it's it's what i live for so last week i got all these uh these letters hold on yeah there's uh there's one a bumper car what is going on with turkey we heard him last week we know that we know the deal we know what it is we know what you're up to we know your shenanigans you're a shenanigan meister well i appreciate that i've never been called a shenanigan meister uh it's shenanigan dash meister but you know what i don't know what's happening with turkey maybe you should ask him uh where is he i don't see him is he around hmm maybe he's hiding

November 23, 2011
Bumperpodcast 103 – Country Time

It’s a deep south day at Headquarters with Natty Bumpercar on the Bumperpodcast. We talk about sweet tea made by angels down at the bbq stand. Sweet tea made by angels – who live in the sky – and make sweet tea.

A story is also told about being tackled by a dog who is hungry and looking for a tasty treat …

There is really a lot to take in on today’s episode of the Bumperpodcast!

Yee-haw!

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About This Episode

In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar calls listeners on the telephone to share his exciting weekend plans. Natty enthusiastically describes his love for a local barbecue stand that serves sweet tea so good it tastes like it's made by angels in heaven. He details his Saturday routine of sleeping in, then heading out for pulled pork or beef brisket sandwiches. Natty shares a funny story about his dog Irving Brown Socks knocking him over in excitement for leftovers, resulting in a spilled sweet tea tragedy that ruined his entire weekend. This solo episode showcases Natty's rambling, stream-of-consciousness comedy style as he invites listeners to join him for barbecue.

Memorable Quotes

“I said if I ever do die and I hope I don't but if I do I hope that all I do all day is sit around and drink sweet tea that's made by angels.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“One time I was holding the food knocked me over you know what happened I knocked my sweet tea down I lost it I didn't have anything to drink for the rest of the day.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #food #barbecue #weekendplans #sweettea #dogs #southerncuisine #saturdayroutine

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me natty bumper car calling you up on the telephone to say what are you doing this weekend because i'll tell you what i'm doing because i bet you all are looking at your devices just wondering what is he gonna be doing this weekend what is natty bumper car the guy that i'm listening to who sounds like he's uh a right good fella what's he gonna be doing this weekend well ladies and gentlemen who are listening to the bumper podcast this is number 100 and i'm gonna say two i might go ahead and say 102 103 you know somewhere in there might be 102.5 i once had a temperature 102.5 had to go see the doctor it was a rough trip evidently when i went down to the barbecue stand you know which one i'm talking about the one with the sweet tea it's like it's made by angels that's how much i love that sweet tea it's like it's made by angels in heaven and they just sit around they i said one day i said if i ever do die and i hope i don't but if i do i hope that all i do all day is sit around and drink sweet tea that's made by angels but you know what i don't even have to because what i can do is i can go down to this barbecue stand and do it right here on this planet with you who wants to meet me that's what i'm doing for lunch tomorrow what am i gonna do for breakfast sleep in hey it's saturday what do you do on saturdays not sleeping are you crazy saturday's a sleep in day so then after i get up and get all dressed and gussied up and out on the town i'm gonna go have some barbecue preferably the pulled pork if it's not sold out if it is however i'll have the beef brisket thank you so much because it's delicious too i sometimes i go there i get four or five sandwiches that's how hungry i am i leave with leftovers obviously i take a dog eat bag home to headquarters and i say irving irving brown socks irving brown socks my dog come and get it and you know what he does lickety split down the stairs here he comes woof woof woof i'm gonna eat some food one time i was holding the food knocked me over you know what happened i knocked my sweet tea down i lost it i didn't have anything to drink for the rest of the day you guys my weekend was ruined by that but you know what i hope you're going to enjoy it your weekend isn't ruined because you deserve the best weekend ever because you're the bumper podcast and i'm the bumper podcast and i'm netty bumper car and yee-haw

September 30, 2011
Dunkin’ Donuts – Mountain Dew Coolatta – Review

If you ask my inner circle … they would be thrilled to let you know that one of my most noticeable flaws – among the smorgasbord of flaws that I have – would be my love, devotion and addiction to Mountain Dew. I drink it often and I drink it well. Sit with me for awhile – and it is entirely possible that I’ll try to convince you that your heart should be beating for the cool, crisp, refreshingly smooth and delicious neon green delight that has had me in its clutches oh-these-many-years. I’m serious.

So – when we moved Headquarters into the direct fiefdom of a Dunkin’ Donuts – and then the ads and banners and commercials started tooting their own horn about this new concoction that they had concotonated in their labs – labs which are traditionally used for breakfast pastries and an odd assortment of sandwich doo-hickeys – they had me hook, line and sinker.

I need to point out that I am abundantly clear that this drink fabrication isn’t entirely new … there have been Mountain Dew Slushies and Mountain Dew Icees in the land – and that is all well and good. Those drinks are also probably perfectly delicious – but for the sake of a moment of focus (which can be a difficult state to master when under the spell of one of these Coolattas) – let’s just stick to the matter at hand.

The day was warm – but not oppressive. It was the perfect kind of day for an icy treat!

I ordered a medium (24 fl. oz. – 290 calories) and then ran to the end of the counter so that I could watch the magic happen. Basically – the magic consists of filling the clear plastic cup about 1/3 of the way with what seemed to be Mountain Dew syrup (concentrated!), popping a domed top on the cup, going to a machine that dispensed an opaque white slurry and then using a wand mixer to make sure that everything was perfectly blended.

The next step for me was to hold it and count to 1-2-3-4-5 to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming … I would have pinched myself – but didn’t want to drop my treasure. The I grabbed a straw and bingo-blammo-boom! It was every bit as delicious and yummy and wonderful as I could have imagined it would be. It wasn’t overly cold, the taste was spot on and I think that I heard my teeth singing out in unison with my liver that they were both absolutely fine with what I was doing to them by drinking this manufactured green glomp – because in the end – it was all going to be worth it.

My super-favorite thing about the Coolatta was that it never fell into the trap that Slushies and Icees seem to have – where they just turn into lifeless blocks of flavorless ice bits when there is about 18% of the drink to go. This thing was a trooper! I made it 98% of the way through before the ice bits took over.

Hold on a tick … I think that I have to change what my super-favorite thing is … So – now – super-favorite thing is that the Mountain Dew Coolatta actually looks like it is glowing … it is as if Dunkin Donuts has harnessed the power of the stars, nuclear fission and lightning bugs and captured it all in a plastic cup. I can’t say whether if it has the power to glow in the dark – or not … but – I do know that it lit up my life with it’s little light … I definitely do know that.

I’ll even say that I had to leave my drink for about 10 solid minutes – which would have been a death knell for a lot of frozen beverages – but – whatever chemicals were kicking around under the hood of this fantasm kept the consistency as perfect as a marshmallow dream.

So – Dunkin’ Donuts – I would like to aggressively shake your hand and shower you with thanks. Your Mountain Dew Coolatta is an achievement among achievements … a wonder among wonders and I can’t wait to slip into your sweet slurry slumber again and again and again. On one quick side note – I’m none too sure if I am going to be tasting your Blue Raspberry, Tropicana, Coffee, Vanilla Bean or Strawberry Coolatta varieties – mostly because they all look very unnatural to me … and at this point – I consider my body to be a temple – a Mountain Dew Coolatta temple that is …. Whoop-Whoop!

Here is their website – if you feel the need to stare at it – like I do … sometimes.

Dunkin’ Donuts

June 23, 2011