Tag: Dogs

  • Bumperpodcast #438 – Season 3 – Dogs and Cheese

    Bumperpodcast #438 – Season 3 – Dogs and Cheese

    Welcome to Coffee Can Alley! Welcome to the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproariously silly improvised comedy.

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    Transcription

    Natty Bumpercar 0:08
    All right. Hey, how does work for the podcast like in normal life? If you’re near someone and then they yawn, then for some reason, I don’t know what you but you yawn as well. I do. I don’t know if you do. I think you do. Do you? Why is that? It’s like a yawn response. Like, why are we why are we triggered? I’m just I’m glad doesn’t happen when we sneeze, like one person sneezes, and then the whole table sneezing? That’d be terrible. But yawning, that’s weird to like, why? Anyway, I apologize. I didn’t mean to yawn. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is a bumper podcast I I had been out and about and I, you know, I’m, I’m working on the show here. Go into the different the different countries where the bumper podcast is on the charts. It’s actually we were we’ve made it to the charts. And, you know, talking to people, oh, they said, you need a theme song. Gotta go get a theme song. I was just like, ah, we okay, we’ll get a theme song. And then they’re like, you know, you got to do everybody don’t have an opinion, you know what you got to do? And I was just like, I don’t know, what’s, what am I supposed to do? And then they tell me all these things. And I, at some point, while they’re speaking, my eyes kind of glaze over. And my brain goes to another place. And if I’m to be completely honest, I don’t know what they’ve said to me. But I’m sure they’ve given me great advice. And then I feel guilty, because these people have given their time to try to tell me, you know, get to help me to tell me what to do. And then I don’t even listen. How ungrateful is that? Tremendously ungrateful? Huh? Well, else is going on. I’ve been working on the railroad, like, Oh, my live long days. But mostly, I’ve been working on the railroad, just just to pass the time away. Because I’m not busy enough. I I like to I like to I have a therapist, I was talking to my therapist about. She said, You seem overwhelmed. seem like you’re taking too much stuff on I was just like, Yeah. And she’s like, but you I know you like to do that. And you told me that, you know, as long as you’re feeling okay, then that’s okay. Are you feeling okay? And I was like, No. And so then she was like, well, then you need to take some stuff off of your plate, and stop doing as much stuff. And I was just like, Okay, that sounds good. And practice, those are good words, have no idea how to actually make that happen. And then she said, Well, your session is over, and come back in a couple of weeks. And by that time, either, you will have figured it out. Or we can work on it then, or knowing you, you’re probably gonna start three more companies and take on 16 more impossible tasks. And I was just like, all right, that sounds like a challenge. That’s your it seems like you’re saying, Can you do these things? And I’m going to tell you right now, yes, I can. I can. I can do all those things. And I’m here to tell you a bumper podcast I’ve I’ve succeeded in doing that. I am quite proud of myself. And I feel like you should be quite proud of me as well. Because I have managed to, not only not complete, not finish any projects, but I have managed to actually take more projects on. It’s very impressive. It’s my superpower. Really, if I had to, you know, figure that I have a superpower I think it’s going to be that I just continually add on to the pile it’s almost like a weighted blanket. It’s not you know, it’s like oh, the world is so nice and calm it’s not but you know, just for the sake of this relaxing the world of this world. Oh spring its spring again. It’s not Oh, look out. The weather’s beautiful and my I’ve had a nice meal again. You don’t haven’t really eaten today, but that’s my fault. There’s not any reason other than me. Okay, Oh, perfect. Everything great. Oh, Ah, you know, and then you go, you know what I’m going to do? I’m not going to take on all a lot of projects, I’m going to take on the appropriate amount of projects, which is not because life itself is a project, taking care of the kids having the job taking care of the dogs, these are all projects, making sure that the car is working properly, making sure that you know, there’s just there’s in life, there’s this massive list, it seems of things you can’t get away from. And you know, those are big responsibility. And make sure the kids brush their teeth. Did they? Do they floss their teeth? Oh, I don’t know. Look, that one’s already asleep. How do I get him to brush his teeth when he’s already asleep? So then, why in the world? Would I go and look for more things, more responsibilities to add on to the file? Now? I don’t know. I don’t know. I mean, I’m, I’m, I’m asking you a question. Because I don’t know the answer. And I wish I did. Sometimes, I think that what I do, and maybe we’ve talked about this before, I honestly don’t remember, and I apologize for that. But what I like to do is if I just keep adding more stuff on to my weighted blanket of life, then well, I don’t know what I think is gonna happen with what ends up happening is the weighted blanket gets so heavy with all the responsibilities that I can’t move. And then you know what I do? I sleep under the weighted blanket, it’s very warm. I must say. The dogs love it, because I’m not moving so they can just curl right up to me. I had no idea like, I’ve had dogs before, but I had no idea how much the dogs that they’d like to sleep. Like, that’s all they do really asleep. All right, come for podcast. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in the middle of recording a really great episode of your podcast, which I understand is not what we were doing a second ago there. But let’s say that I was recording a really good episode of the podcast. And you know, you’re just really moving and you’re talking and you’re saying things and you’re like, Yeah, this feels great. And then your kid bursts in and says, Hey, stop talking to your computer. And I’m just like, oh, that really, really boils it down, doesn’t it? That really hurts. Stop talking to your computer, dad. Ouch. Ha. Because I mean, I mean, in essence, that’s all I’m doing really is I’m talking. I mean, I’m looking at a computer. I’m talking into a microphone. And, you know, I have I have headphones on so that, you know, there’s there’s, you know, there’s a few things that are going on. But I felt like he had gotten me good enough that there was no reason for me to, to try to retort to try to try to come back. He had beaten me down as only your children can. What was I talking about? It is that’s the thing. This was yesterday. And now it’s today. And I I don’t know. I? I wasn’t ready to you know, I yesterday, I ate oatmeal for breakfast. And today, I ate grits. grits are just little tiny bits of corn. And there were some cheese in it and some pepper and a little bit of garlic salt. If I’m to be completely honest, maybe maybe some cheese, maybe maybe more cheese than I intended. But you know, that’s how cheese works. And they say how much cheese would you like on this year, like, keep going and then it’s always just a little bit more than you anticipated or wanted. And that’s fine. It’s a good problem to have. It’s different than like gasoline in your car. Right with cheese. They say how much do you get like, fill it up? Keep going. Let’s go. And they’re like, What does fill it up mean with cheese? And you’re like, I don’t know, but we’re on this journey together. Let’s see what happens. So you know, if you do that at a gas station, you’re filling your car up and we’re like, what did you What do you want? You’re like, fill it up and they’re like, Okay, no problem and then they do and then you know the little gas handle thing goes click one because that means it’s full. It’s registered that the car is full and gas and you’re like, you know what, let’s keep going there. You can’t because then the gas spills everywhere and And then you know, it’s a fire hazard. Cheese, not so much. The only hazard that Jesus is a fun hazard

    for maj hazard. I don’t know what it is. So anyway, you know, I think I was saying something about the dogs being lazy. I don’t know why I think that but I, this is kind of always on my mind how lazy the dogs are, the only time the dogs get up. And this is nice of them is when they have to use the restroom, which is what we call our back yard now because that’s, you know, what happens back there. It’s it’s, and they get up when they when they’re hungry. And they get up to, to bark, sometimes to shake, you know, a lot of shaking going on. Little ear scratching, that’s gonna it’s gonna happen probably two or three in the morning. Which is I think why they sleep all the time. I think the dogs sleep all the time, because they don’t just sleep through the night. And they don’t let me sleep through the night. And I think that the message they’re trying to tell me is, hey, you know what, why don’t you just hop on our schedule here and curl up into a ball, find one ray of sunshine, curl up in that little ray of sunshine, and pretend that it’s really warming you up? It’s not, but you can pretend it is. My assumption is that my dogs have very good imagination, and that they can really, you’re like, Yep, this is it’s woof, the sun is really giving it to me here. It’s kind of like when the door opens. And there’s a couple of birds in the backyard. And they run over to what I can only assume is to talk to the birds. Let them know hey, what’s going on? I haven’t seen in a while ah, spring is coming up. But then do the birds always fly off because they don’t want any part of that conversation. Right? I don’t know. I would love to have that conversation. I would love for spring to be here. Because you know what happens when when spring rolls around? Well, I get to sleep better because the time change is nice. There’s sun and there’s vitamins. And the most important thing of all, and I think you’re gonna agree with me then this thing here but Bob louder is that there’s a lot of cheese

    Outro 12:42
    the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar reflects on the contagious nature of yawning and shares updates from his travels promoting the show, which has made it onto the charts in multiple countries. Natty hilariously recounts a therapy session about his habit of taking on too many projects and responsibilities, only to admit he's done the opposite of his therapist's advice. He muses about weighted blankets as a metaphor for life's mounting responsibilities, gets interrupted by his kid telling him to "stop talking to your computer," and contemplates the important differences between cheese and gasoline. The episode meanders through observations about lazy dogs, sleep schedules, and the promise of spring, all delivered in Natty's signature rambling, stream-of-consciousness style.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Your kid bursts in and says, Hey, stop talking to your computer. And I'm just like, Oh, that really, that really boils it down. Doesn't it? That really hurts.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “My superpower really if I had to figure that I have a superpower I think it's going to be that I just continually add on to my life.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “With cheese, they say, how much do you get? Like, fill it up, keep going, let's go. And they're like, what does fill it up mean with cheese?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #therapy #productivity #dogs #parenting #spring #cheese #sleep #self-reflection

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right i just keep on yawning i wonder how this works with a podcast like in normal life if you're near someone and then they yawn then for some reason i don't know what but you you yawn as well i do i don't know if you do i think you do do you why is that it's like a yawn response like why are we why are we triggered i'm just i'm glad it doesn't happen when we sneeze like one person sneezes and then the whole table sneezing that'd be terrible but yawning that's weird too like why anyway i apologize i didn't mean to yawn this is natty bumper car and uh this is bumper podcast i uh i've been out and about and i uh you know i'm i'm working on the show here uh going to the different uh the uh different countries uh where the bumper podcast is he's on the charts it's actually we we've made it to the charts and uh you know talking to people oh they said you need a theme song gotta go get a theme song and i was just like ah we okay we'll get a theme song and then they're like you know what you got to do and everybody they all have an opinion you know what you got to do and i was just like i don't know what what what am i supposed to do and then they tell me all these things and i i at some point while they're speaking my my eyes kind of glaze over and my brain goes to another place and uh if i'm to be completely honest i don't know what they've said to me uh but i'm sure they've given me great advice and and then i feel guilty because these people have given their time to try to tell me you know get to help me to tell me what to do and then i i don't even listen how how ungrateful is that tremendously ungrateful oh what else is going on i've been working on uh the railroad like all my live long days uh but mostly i've been working on the railroad uh just just to pass the time away um because i'm not busy enough i um i i like to i like to i have a therapist i was talking to my therapist about uh she said you seem overwhelmed seem like you're taking too much stuff on i was just like yeah and she's like but you i know you like to do that and you told me that you know as long as you're feeling okay then that's okay are you feeling okay and i was just like no and uh so then she was like well then you need to take some stuff off of your plate and stop doing as much stuff and i'm like well i'm just like i'm just like i'm just like i'm just i was just like okay that sounds good in practice those are good words i have no idea how to actually make that happen and um then she said uh well your session is over and come back in a couple weeks and uh by that time either you will have figured it out or we can work on it then or knowing you you're probably gonna start three more companies and take on 16 more uh impossible tasks and i was just like all right that sounds like a challenge that's it seems like you're saying can you do these things and i'm gonna tell you right now yes i can i can i can do all those things um and uh i'm here to tell you bumper podcast i've i've succeeded in doing that i am quite proud of myself and i feel like you should be quite proud of me as well because uh i have managed to uh not only not complete not finish uh any projects but i have managed to actually take more projects on it's very impressive uh it's my superpower really if i had to you know figure that i have a superpower i think it's going to be um that i just continually add on to my life and i'm going to keep doing it and i'm going to keep more projects uh i'm going to be able to continue to work heavy and reflect and improve more on myself and and i think that's probably what inspired me to want to remain open um and me with uh this نیس كلمن g wa无 سال i think generally vaccinations have the same implications as you as a entrepreneur although this is my trick so if i were to just do a cost on profit i could get a little low so let's get down to business from me so i'm going to say yes i garden for this all right i'm talking about residual 쓰기 all right Uh, oh, okay. Oh, look how perfect everything. Great. Ah, you know, and then you go, you know what I'm going to do? I'm not going to take on a lot of projects. I'm going to take on the appropriate amount of projects, which, uh, is none because life itself is a project. Taking care of the kids, having the job, taking care of the dogs. These are all projects. Making sure that the car is working properly, making sure that, you know, there's just, there's in life, there's this massive list. It seems of things that you can't get away from. And, and, you know, those are a big responsibility. And, uh, do I make sure the kids brush their teeth? Did they, did they floss their teeth? Oh, I don't know. Look, that one's already asleep. How do I get him to brush his teeth when he's already asleep? So then why in the world would I go and look for more things, more responsibilities to add onto the pile? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm asking you a question because I don't know the answer. And, uh, I wish I did. Sometimes I think that what I do, and maybe we've talked about this before. I honestly don't remember. And I apologize for that. But what I like to do is, uh, if I just keep adding more stuff onto my weighted blanket, of life, uh, then, uh, well, I don't know what I think is going to happen, but what ends up happening is the weighted blanket gets so heavy with all the responsibilities that I can't move. And then, you know what I do? Uh, I sleep under the weighted blanket. It's very warm. I must say, um, the dogs love it because I'm not moving so they can just curl right up to me. Uh, I had no idea. Like I've had, you know, dogs before, but, uh, I had no idea how much the dogs, they like to sleep. Like that's all they do really is sleep. All right. Bumper podcast. I don't know if you've ever been in the middle of recording a really great episode of your podcast, which I understand is not what we were doing, uh, a second ago there, but let's say that I was recording a really, really good episode of the podcast. And, uh, you know, you're just really moving and you're talking and you're saying things and you're like, yeah, this feels great. And then your, uh, kid bursts in and says, Hey, stop talking to your computer. And I'm just like, Oh, that really, that really boils it down. Doesn't it? That really hurts. Stop talking to your computer, dad. Ouch. Huh? Cause I mean, I mean, in essence, all I'm doing really is I'm talking, I mean, I'm looking at a computer, I'm talking into a microphone and, uh, you know, I have, I have headphones on so that, you know, there's, there's, uh, you know, there's a few things that are going on, but, uh, I felt like he had, um, gotten me good enough that there was no reason for me to, uh, to try to retort, to try to, to try to come back. Uh, he, he had beaten me down as, as only your children can. Uh, what was I talking about? It is. That's the thing. This was yesterday and now it's today. And I, uh, I don't know. I, I wasn't ready to, you know, I, yesterday I ate oatmeal for breakfast and, and today I ate grits. Grits are just little tiny bits of corn and there was some cheese in it and some pepper and a little bit of garlic salt. If I'm to be completely honest, uh, maybe, maybe some cheese, maybe, maybe more cheese than I intended, but you know, that's how cheese works. And they say, how much cheese would you like on this? And you're like, keep going. And then it's always just a little bit more than you anticipated or wanted. And that's fine. That's a good problem to have. Uh, it's different than like a gasoline in your car, right? With cheese, they say, how much do you get? Like, fill it up, keep going, let's go. And they're like, what does fill it up mean with cheese? And you're like, I don't know, but we're on this journey together. Let's see what happens. So, you know, if you do that at a gas station, you're filling your car up and they're like, what did you, what do you want? And you're like, ah, fill it up. And they're like, okay, no problem. And then they do. And then, you know, the little gas handle thing goes click because that means it's full. It's registered that the car is full of gas. And you're like, you know what? Let's keep going there. You can't because then the gas spills, uh, everywhere. And, and you know, it's a fire hazard cheese. Not so much. The only hazard that cheese is, is a fun hazard, uh, fromage hazard. I don't know what it is. Uh, so anyway, you know, I think I was saying something about the dogs being lazy. I don't know why I think that, but I, uh, this is kind of always, on my mind, how, how, how lazy the dogs, the only time the dogs get up, uh, and this is nice of them is when they have to use the, uh, the restroom, which is what we call our backyard now, because that's, you know, what happens back there. It's in, it's, and they, uh, get up when they, uh, when they're hungry and, uh, they get up to, uh, to bark sometimes to, to shake, you know, a lot of shaking going on, uh, a little, ear scratching. That's going to, that's going to happen probably at two or three in the morning. Um, which is, I think why they sleep all the time. I think the dogs sleep all the time because they don't just sleep through the night and they don't let me sleep through the night. And I think that the message they're trying to tell me is, Hey, you know what? Why don't you just hop onto our schedule here and, uh, curl up into a ball, find one ray of sunshine, curl up in that little ray of sunshine and, uh, pretend that it's really warming you up. It's not, but you can pretend it is. My assumption is that my dogs have very good, uh, imagination and that they can really, you're like, yep, this is, it's woof. The sun is really giving it to me here. It's kind of like when, uh, the door opens and there's a couple of birds in the backyard and they, they run over. What I can only assume is to talk to the birds, uh, let them know, Hey, what's going on? I haven't seen you in a while. Oh, spring is coming, huh? But the birds always fly off because they don't want any part of that conversation, right? I don't know. I, I would love to have that conversation. I would love for spring to be here because you know what happens, uh, when, when spring rolls around, well, uh, I get to sleep better because the time change is nice. There's sun and there's vitamins. And the most important thing of all, uh, is that the birds don't want to be in the And I think you're going to agree with me than this thing here is, is that there's a lot of cheese.

    Producer: The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty bumper car and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for watching. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at HTTPS colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty bumper car. Also pretty, please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley. It's recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig, Rufus T Rufus, doodle poodle, robot trunks, and a gag, all of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty bumper car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumper car.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty bumper car. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    Natty Bumpercar: Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

  • Bumperpodcast #368 – Spicy Socks

    Bumperpodcast #368 – Spicy Socks

    Popcorn the dog has been feasting on socks – which leads to a bit of a kerfuffle, and to a potential business opportunity!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In episode 368 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar faces a crisis when his dog Popcorn develops an insatiable appetite for socks. Aloysious J. Pig breaks the news that the puppy has destroyed every sock in the house, leading to a chaotic discussion about puppy behavior and responsibility. The situation escalates when a mysterious new lawyer named Frenchie appears on the scene, creating confusion and competition with the show's resident lawyer Rufus T. Rufus. With Producer possibly masquerading as the French attorney, the episode spirals into comedic chaos. Despite the sock-eating mayhem and legal shenanigans, Natty shares exciting news about new Bumperpodcast business cards and stickers for 2020.

    Memorable Quotes

    “The weirdest part was I went into her little dog house and found a stack of papers. She had actually written up a business plan for a kiosk in the mall called Spicy Socks.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Oh, hello. It's I'm Frenchie. It's a new lawyer in the neighborhood. And I am very good at the law, the American law.”

    — Producer/Frenchie

    “Don't let lawyers get involved with your dog's dreams. Don't let lawyers step all over your puppy's plans.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #dogs #puppies #lawyers #comedy #pets #businessplans #competition #chaos

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Frenchie (Producer), Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: good good good good good morning good afternoon good evening whatever time it is that you're listening to the bumper podcast we greatly appreciate you being here and why well because there's 18 bazillion other things that you could be doing with your time but you're choosing to spend it with me and i appreciate that because i miss you guys i miss you guys a lot every day that i don't record i end up missing you did you miss me too hi pig hey what's going on bumpsy so here's the thing uh uh your dog uh popcorn was uh down in the basement need a laundry room and i'd like for you just to take a guess at what she was doing down the uh the basement is where the laundry is where the laundry room where the laundry baskets where the laundry chute is it's also where things are folded please tell me that she did not get into the socks she got she got into the socks you told yeah well so here's the thing uh nobody has socks anymore we are now officially a sock free house i don't know what it is she i never seen they eat no paints i never seen they eat no shirts but uh socks she's all about them socks don't matter if it's uh pig socks if it's bumper car socks uh old socks new socks red socks blue socks you see what i'm doing there huh so all gone i mean the sock is mostly still there but the uh the foot part gone the toe part gone okay but it is tubes you have fabric tubes all right excuse me uh this is really annoying like guys have you ever had a puppy and uh when they eat stuff all the time i think i've mentioned it before when we first got popcorn uh she's a little beagle black lab kind of cute kind of smallish about 33 pounds uh um she people were like watch out she's gonna eat everything and i was like i've had a dog at irving brown socks he didn't eat anything he was wonderful oh no no no no no no it could not have been more off the mark this dog eats everything uh the sofa she ate that a sofa couch how does a dog do that remote controls two of them shoes one two three four pairs of shoes two pairs of flip-flops i mean the list is never ending the socks after socks after socks after socks it's it's just too much um hmm so how do i handle this oh now excuse me i do believe that we have a predicament here why some sort of liturgy liturgist liturgitude lawyer talk speak if you if you catch my drift if you understand what i'm saying okay so i do i hmm hey rufus i do understand what you're saying but i don't think we need a lawyer right now at this point for the dog who ate some socks that's exactly what someone who would say who in fact very much did require having the services of someone who is scholastically trained in such situations as sock eating hey bump akari didn't wait rufus you actually went to school for sock eating law i didn't even know that was a thing well hold on a second maybe we do need them bump I know he can be a bit much, but in this situation, maybe he's going to be able to guide us. Maybe they'll actually be worth something for once finally, right? I don't know. Well, no. I think the answer is no. She's a dog. She's a puppy. We have to be better about putting our things away and making sure she doesn't get into places where she can eat things. I know it's hard to believe, but she's just a puppy, and we're responsible for her. And so we have to help her to make better decisions and not be in situations where bad stuff can happen. Now, as I was flipping through my law books here, I did come across a precedent-setting case of SOC law in which… The perpetrator did actually have to re-encompensate the affiliated members of the action in which the perpetration was, in fact, perpetrated. So what I'm saying is, son, now what I'm saying is, the law has spoken. Safe bump? It's that easy? The law has spoken. The law has spoken. I mean, case closed? No. I don't know. No. So here's the thing. When people… We got the puppy, and people said, oh, she's going to eat things. She's going to eat things. And then she started eating things. I started doing some internet research, and it was one of those situations where it was just like, how to get your puppy to stop eating things it's not supposed to. And it said to actually add… There was like this, a powder, right? A little spray. And it was a spray, but it was kind of dry when it came out, like a powder. And it was like some sort of hot cayenne, like pepper. And I was like, ooh, is that going to hurt the puppy? And so I got it, and I tried it. And just on a couple of pairs of socks. And she ran over like a bolt of lightning and ate… Like almost the whole sock before I could get it away from her. And the look in her eye, she was just like, yes. Yes, I do like spicy socks. And the weirdest part of that was I went into her little dog house, into her little area, and I found a stack of papers. And she had actually written up a business plan for like a kiosk in the mall, like those little… If you're in a mall and have little restaurants or little things in the middle, like, oh, you can get a pretzel, you can get a drink, whatever. She made a business plan, and it was really well written for a place, a little restaurant called Spicy Socks. So I don't know if I should… I mean, if this is her passion, then maybe I should just let it happen. Maybe I'm the problem here. I don't know. Now, of course, you are the problem, Mr. Bumpercar, as you always tend to be. Now, as far as these documents that you discovered, who exactly was the person who put them together? Because I do not understand, according to my log, that I was ever approached for such things. Oh, yeah. Rufus, you ain't heard? There's a new lawyer dude in town setting up shop. I don't know what his name is. It's like… I forget what his name is. It's like Frenchie or… I don't know. Something like that. But he seems like really good, and his rates are really good. And maybe he took over? I don't know. There's just been a lot… I'm just saying there's a little competition up in your area right now. I should ask Popcorn about this.

    Frenchie (Producer): Who's… What? Oh, hello. It's… I'm Frenchie. It's a new lawyer in the neighborhood. And I am very good at the law, the American law. I went through all the schools, and I did all of the things. And believe me, you are in good hands with Frenchie, me lawyer. And I will protect you. And I understood the stock law. And I can do all of the things that is… Oh, hello. This is absolute.

    Natty Bumpercar: My name is Rufus T. Rufus. And I have a lot of letters after my name because I have so many degrees, and they had to make them into letters. And I am the lawyer, imperate, in trans…

    Producer: In trans-fu-ma-si-o-ne. Yes, in trans-fu-ma-si-o-ne. Don't you try to help me now. Well, I'm just trying to help.

    Natty Bumpercar: You ain't. You're hop-stepping on my lily pad here. I'm the lawyer. I am. I am the lawyer, sir.

    Producer: Now, sir, there are plenty of rooms everywhere around here for lawyers. And I am another lawyer, and I will be the helping man to the peoples. All of these peoples everywhere.

    Natty Bumpercar: Pig, do you notice anything about this lawyer? Yeah. He sounds a lot like producer does.

    Producer: Actually, I don't think that he sounds… …anything like me, even a little bit at all, and I bet he doesn't even seem… I would agree totally with this frog man that I don't sound anything like him. He clearly has his own accent, I clearly have my own accent, and they're very far apart. I am a lawyer, he is a frog. And I am a frog, and he is a lawyer, so he's very different. I don't think that it's happening here.

    Natty Bumpercar: You know, Bumpercar, I didn't want to get back into the fray, as it were, but I do feel like I hear similarities in the voice of patterns, if you will. Maybe something I can look into as a copyright infringement. I'm going to shut this new lawyer down. Too sweet. Oh, man. All right, so what do we talk about today? There's a dog eating socks, going to open up a stand called Spicy Socks, there's a new lawyer called Frenchie, this show is off the rails. Yeah, I agree. But, here's a cool thing. We're going to figure all this lawyer-y stuff out in the back room, but neat things are happening in 2020. It's 2020, y'all. 2020. And I, we got business cards made with the podcast, and they're really cool. I'll probably post those when I post this episode. We also were getting stickers made of the podcast, and my goal for those is, is if people will listen to the show, and will subscribe to it, and will write a little review, then, you know, like give it a little rating, then that's awesome. That helps us out so much. Because as much as we… We all love getting down here and making this for you, we want other people to hear it, too. And so that's the ultimate goal. So I will let people know how they can get these stickers as soon as I kind of figure it all out and put it onto the internet webs. But anyway, I want you to know, Popcorn's a good dog. She's just a hungry dog. And sometimes puppies are going to make business plans about eating. So… That's just something that's going to happen. But what I would say is, don't let lawyers get involved with your dog's dreams. Don't let lawyers step all over your puppy's plans. She's… My puppy is smart. She knows what she's doing. She goes down to the local library. She does her research. And I'm… I'm here for her. Whatever she needs, I'm here for. Bumps, have you tried the spicy sauce? They are, uh, not so good. Yeah, I actually did try these things and was in the hospital for several days. I do not want to be involved with this business unless it's people suing, litigating against it. This place is going to fold like a deck of cards.

    Producer: Haha, you have fallen into my trap. And that is, officially you have said bad things about my client's business. That you should not have said on the podcast. I will be suing you, Rufus T. Rufus. Get your papers ready because I'll be coming for you and taking you downtown.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay, now I'm officially confused. Was that the Frenchie lawyer or was that producer? I honestly can't tell anymore. It's officially the mystery of the week.

    Unknown: Okay, well, I don't like that. You're still young and you can still lose to the送 XX. Fine, I'll give you another chance. This can't be working. When has Mia been straightforwarded on? Now I have asked Maria over time. To confirm, you now personally have made a request for your son, but you still do not yet. Have you received a copy of the contract? What do we do? Yes, Music Video Coding program. We are the same agency as Rufus. And we love agenda cool. Where'sinas? This is Chris. This is Alex.

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #367 – Time is a flat circle

    Bumperpodcast #367 – Time is a flat circle

    Natty starts talking about time, and baubles, and then gets a bit nostalgic, and also a bit flustered. It’s almost like deja vu!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In episode 367 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar reflects on post-holiday blues and the passage of time after all the festive decorations come down. Host Natty explores deep concepts like "time is a flat circle" and nostalgia, sharing humorous stories about conflating memories of family dogs Popcorn and Irving Brown Socks. The episode takes listeners through Natty's personal experiences with déjà vu, cave crickets in a Georgia crawl space, and his children's nostalgia for "the good old days" at the brown house. Natty wraps up with motivational thoughts about using time wisely and the mysterious Tree Wolf who takes away Christmas trees each year, leaving pine needles everywhere.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Did you know in school in my yearbook I was labeled the one who likes fancy doodads the most? My middle name is sparkly doodad bumper car. It's not but…”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The tree wolf comes out of the forest and he takes our tree and he drags it back into the forest. The tree wolf is not a clean wolf, he's a dirty wolf.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Time is a flat circle and time is not linear. Your memories, the older you get they all build up and sometimes they start to get a little bit combined.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #time #nostalgia #post-holiday #memories #philosophy #family #dogs #motivation

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh woe is me woe is me woe is me it is that time of year when all of the beautiful sparkly baubles go away the lights the trees the ornaments all the fancy doodads and it makes me so sad because i love fancy doodads why did you know in school in my yearbook i was labeled the one who likes fancy doodads the most did you know that my middle name is sparkly doodad bumper car it's not but guys it's it's hard because we just went through all the big holidays you had your thanksgivings you had all this stuff in december we had new year's and now we're just in june january oh january it's this cold month that's just here and it's fine it's good i'm not gonna knock january why one of my sweet beautiful children was born in january but it's it's it's it's not the best month because i mean what do i yeah all the fun stuff just to happen now we gotta wait we gotta wait for what's the next thing valentine's day all right did you know i was at the grocery store the other day and uh they were taking all the christmas stuff down so this was december 26th and they were putting the valentine's day stuff up in december and i was just like no grocery store i will not buy your heart-shaped candies yet not until february 12th in a rush a mad rush that's when i get my cards and whatnot you know here's the thing it made me think of time and and i read i there was a cool uh little not slogan little saying call it says time is a flat circle and i was like what does that mean what is a flat what does that mean like a flat circle i guess if it was a 3d circle it would be a ball but time is a flat circle and so it was just kind of like the things that you have done will come back around and you'll do them again and again and again throughout your entire life i don't and i don't know really what the point of it is i guess it's just to say to pay attention you know also time is not linear what does linear mean it means like a straight line so time can fold back on you on itself and i know that doesn't make any sense but time is weird if you think about it you know you're born you live you do your life and then you're in you go away i guess i don't know i don't know what happens i haven't been there yet but you have memories and you have nostalgia and what that is is when the holidays come and maybe you smell a candle that smells like a tree and then you have another time that you smelled a candle that smelled like a tree and the time kind of folds in on itself and your memories and the older you get your memories they all build up right and so sometimes they start to get a little bit combined um especially my brain loves to conflate things what does conflate mean it means to just kind of squish things together a little bit sometimes unintended it's like how i uh you know i'll look at our dog popcorn who's uh 10 months old beagle black lab maybe you've met her i hope you have and uh just seeing her uh the way she'll run in the backyard sometimes will uh make me have little flashbacks to memories of irving brown socks my my puppy dog uh and then i start to think about things that socks did but things that popcorn did and then i can't remember which of the dogs actually did that thing and then i start to conflate them and then i just put them in the uh dog folder in my brain i'm like well that's a dog activity i'm just gonna put it in the dog box this is where the memories of dog things go and sometimes if it gets jostled or shaken up or moved around i'm just gonna put it in the dog box and then i start to think about then uh you know maybe one of the two of the thoughts will get a little confused um now that's a funny thing because it can get confusing have you ever had deja vu do you know what that is deja vu is super cool that's when you're doing something and then you kind of your brain goes wait a minute haven't i been here before haven't i done this thing before already wasn't i already in this exact spot or you know somebody will say to you like uh uh oh i'll have a fruit smoothie and you're like yeah you will how did i know you were gonna say that i feel like i've been in this very moment already and i don't know what deja vu is is it just your mind working quicker than the world around it is it just you know maybe you were kind of not focused not paying attention and then you come back to the world and it's kind of overwhelming and your brain is just like ah this is that okay here we are and this is what's happening i don't know is it is it uh shadows of whispers of memories of of things that are happening i don't know i don't know we're not learning i mean we're learning all kinds of fun stuff what we learned so far time is a flat circle time is not linear the one i just said deja vu that one conflation that was a big one to learn today um but so the older you get it's it's it's fun even my kids they uh you know 10 and 7 they they they will get nostalgic for things in their past i mean emerson's only 10 years old but he'll be like oh i remember the good old days remember the good old days i'm like what is the good old what does that mean to you what are the good old days you're 10 years old all your days have been pretty good what are the what are the good old days he's like ah the good old days where we lived in the brown house i'm like ah yes the brown house uh emerson has a a few touchstones uh that he likes to his memories go back to they flow back to and the brown house is one of them remember the brown house dad and i'm like yeah you were four how do you like what kind of foundational memories were you making at the brown house i remember the brown house was cold i remember the brown house was uh uh dark and it had um those cave crickets in the basement what are cave crickets they're horrifying monstrous little bugs that have these four legs and when they bounce they go boom like that and they're aggressive they'll come at you they're not bugs that are like i'm gonna scurry away i don't want to see people no they're bugs that are like like hey hey hey you hey hey you're like no no thank you i don't want no thank you please no go away bug not a fan not a fan when we used to live in georgia this was pre-children uh i had to do a lot of work under our house we had a crawl space a crawl space is a space under a house uh it's usually like three i think ours is maybe two and a half three feet so not not not a lot dirt you know it's the the ground is under the house dirt yucky dirt dirt dirt dirt and i had to go under there and clean out the whole space take everything that was out in there out and then i put in uh a new uh i put stuff called lime which is just some stuff you put in the dirt i don't know it changes the ph what does that mean i don't know so i was told to do and then i had to put this new liner on the ground to keep the moisture from the ground away from the house and as i'm doing all this work by myself in the dark these crickets would come at me constantly like boing boing boing what are you doing boing what are you doing boing what are you doing boing and i was just like please leave me alone i couldn't even sit up in there so i'd have to roll away from them and they would follow me and they were faster at hopping than i was at rolling and it was just not pleasant it was just not pleasant at all i'm hoping that that is not something if time is in fact a flat circle that is going to come around to me again and again i don't want to have any more confrontation i don't want to have any more confrontation i don't with cave crickets don't want to at all back to the point and time use it preciously use it wisely don't dawdle get as much stuff done as you can don't overextend yourself because if you do you might get sick and i don't want you to get tired okay i want you to live to your potential with and use your time as best you can and i don't want you to get tired okay i want you to live to your best as you can make yourself happy do good things for yourself do good things for other people use your time wisely right right this has become a motivational speech and i'm fine with that time is not infinite your your your time is finite finite finite finite infinite finite finite no finite uh what does that mean that means there's a beginning and there's an end so use all the time that you have as best as you can and and it'll be great it'll be great even if you have to rest a little bit that's still using your time just be cognizant be aware that you're using your time it'll be good it'll be good i uh i was reading all these quotes like famous people quotes and it was just they were all basically like um you know what was it uh this is uh charles darwin said a man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life okay so don't waste your time charles we got it charles darwin one day you should look him up he's cool he went to the galapagos islands there were turtles there there's more to them but that's that's that's just the high notes we're just hitting the high notes guy named uh let's see thomas jefferson you ever heard of him he's a big name says determined never to be idle no person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any it is wonderful how much can be done if we are always doing so just do stuff i mean these guys are much wordier than i am i'm basically like uh you should do some stuff maybe you should do some stuff like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know like that but um anyway guys you know what i'm gonna go be nostalgic about my my my baubles my tree my christmas lights i'm gonna go uh clean up the glitter that fell on the ground as i was moving things oh and i'm gonna tell you one one more quick story so in our house here at headquarters every year the uh when it's time to take the tree down we take we have to take everything off the tree we take all the ornaments we take the lights off and uh then the tree wolf comes out of the forest and he takes our tree and he drags it back into the forest and i don't know what happens after that do you guys have a tree wolf where does your tree go how did who how does your tree leave the house my kids they some of them they were like dad you take the tree out and i was just like that's not even possible i can't pick this tree up it's too big doesn't even fit through the door the tree wolf does it and the worst thing about the tree wolf is that when he drags the tree out of the house he leaves all the needles everywhere the tree wolf is not a clean wolf he's a dirty wolf but anyway collecting trees for all these years out in the forest out in the woods i don't know what his plan is i don't know what his angle is but i know the tree wolf means business and i do too and you do too you know why because you're the bumper podcast cateers and it's a new year new year what does that mean we're getting stickers made pretty soon i'll tell you how you can get a sticker so just keep listening keep being awesome i love you you're my best friend all right

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #352 – Whispering

    Bumperpodcast #352 – Whispering

    There is a LOT of whispering on today’s episode of the Bumperpodcast – and, why is that? Well – you’ll have to listen to find out. It’s quite the story!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In episode #352 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar explains why everyone needs to be quiet at headquarters – there's a new puppy! Natty recounts the emotional story of how the Bumpercar family spontaneously adopted a beagle-black lab mix puppy after an eventful Saturday that included buying a basketball goal, renting a truck, and visiting a pet store. The episode details the heartwarming moment when young Oliver broke down crying at the thought of not getting the puppy, leading to family interviews and the ultimate decision to bring her home. Natty hilariously compares puppy ownership to having a newborn baby, complete with sleepless nights, bathroom accidents, and the puppy trying to eat everything in sight – including Natty's nose.

    Memorable Quotes

    “If she keeps growing every ten days, doubling up on her puppyhood, then I would say we maybe have eight months until she's as big as the house.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The mommy dog stuck her nose onto the cage. And baby puppy stuck her nose onto her mommy's nose. And she let out a whimper. It was the saddest, cutest, saddest, saddest thing I've ever seen.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “She goes to the bathroom in the house constantly. Human babies did that, too. But they had diapers. She doesn't.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #puppies #petadoption #family #parenting #sleepdeprivation #dogs #petstore

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Everybody has to be super duper quiet on the bumper podcast today. Hi everybody, it's me, Maddie Bumpercar, and I'm sure you're wondering, why are we having to be so quiet? Are we playing a game of hide and seek? No. Did we just put a cake in the oven and we don't want to scare it and have it fall? No. I wish we would have done that, now that I think about it. I would love to have some cake right now. Does anybody have any cake out there? No? Alright. Alright. Well, listen. Here's the reason why we have to be super duper quiet right now. There's a new baby at headquarters. There's a new baby! Okay, it's not really a baby, if I'm to be completely honest. But it's very small. And it's kind of like a baby. It's a puppy! We got a new puppy! I'm so excited. I can't even tell you. I don't think she can hear me. But maybe she can. She's got really good ears. She's a beagle, black lab, and we got her when she was eight weeks old. She was so tiny, and we've already had her for ten days, and she's already doubled in size. What that means is where there was one puppy. There are now two. And if she keeps growing every ten days, doubling up on her puppyhood, then I would say we maybe have eight months until she's as big as the house. So, I'm kind of hoping that doesn't happen. She was the runt of her litter, which means she was the smallest one. I'll tell you the whole story, okay? So, we had a big Saturday. I had purchased a basketball goal. It was already put together. But there was no way for me to get it home. My original plan was to walk the basketball goal the one and a half miles back to my house. But everyone said that's the worst idea ever. And I wasn't allowed to do it, which is fine, because it probably would have been the end of me. So, I said, okay, I'll come back tomorrow with a truck. I don't have a truck. But I went to the tool store, and I got a truck, and I loaded it up with all kinds of topsoil and peat moss and cow manure and raised bed soil. And I got a truck. And I loaded it up with all kinds of topsoil and peat moss and cow manure and raised bed soil. And two raised beds and all kinds of stuff. I loaded the whole truck up, and then I drove to the basketball goal. And the man who had sold it to me said, hey, I hurt my back. I can't help you put this in there. So then I had to lift the entire basketball goal all by myself into the truck. So what's going on, muscle bumper car? And then I drove it home, and I unloaded the truck. And I picked the basketball goal. And I put it over our fence, and I set it up. And then I cleaned the truck out, and I said, okay, bumper family, we're all getting into this truck, and we're taking a trip. And the kids got very excited, because they'd never ridden in a truck before. This was a huge day. We got a basketball goal. We're riding in a truck. And then after that, we went and got Mexican food. And they love Mexican food. They eat guacamole more than anyone I've ever seen. I love guacamole. They're probably, if they did a DNA test, they would come back at least 28% avocado. So we went, and they were just having the best day. And then we went to a little store that they didn't really want to go to. And then Ollie said, hey, let's go to the pet store and look at dogs. And I said, okay, because that's something we do. We treat the pet store like the free zoo, where we go. And we look at all the fish, and the iguanas, and the chinchillas, and the birds. And they were having cat adoption day. So there was a whole section of kitty cats. And we went, and we talked to the kitty cats. And there was one named Bowman, who was super cute, and who I wanted a lot. But Ollie's very allergic to cats. But he likes cats. So he was touching them, and touching them, and then touching his eyes. And then his eyes got all big and puffy. So then we had to go wash his face and his hands. Fine. And then we turned the corner, and there were more kitty cats to adopt. And so we looked at them for a second. And then way down at the end of the hall, there was a little cage. And in that cage was a little puppy, a little black puppy. And so we went all the way over to it, and she was so adorably cute. So we sat down, and we're talking to her, and we're playing with her. And this man was talking about her. And you know, there were two pregnant moms. Mom dogs that we found. And these are the puppies of one of the moms. Her two brothers got adopted already today. And oh, hey, look. Here comes mom. And so this family comes out with this mommy dog. And the mommy dog, it was the saddest thing I've ever seen. It was so nice that she was being adopted. But as they were leaving, the family said, oh, we should let you say goodbye to your baby. And so the mommy went over to the cage. And stuck her nose onto the cage. And baby puppy stuck her nose onto her mommy's nose. And she let out a whimper. She went like that. It was the saddest, cutest, saddest, saddest thing I've ever seen. At that point, I was like, oh, no. We might be in trouble now. So then I said, well, hey, can we walk around with this puppy? Can we play with it a little bit? Just to kind of see, you know? And they were like, yeah, you just got to fill out this paperwork. And I was like, OK. And they were like, even if you don't get it, you know, it's in our records. So you're good to go if you ever want to adopt. And I was like, OK. That works. And so I fill everything out. You have to put down phone numbers of friends who will say nice things about you. I didn't think anything of it. So but we were in the corner playing. And I even told them, hey, we just want to play with the puppy. Not sure if we're getting the puppy. Just looking. Just looking at the puppy. And then we were in the corner. And we're playing with a puppy. And someone came over. And they said, hey, your references. The phone numbers. The phone numbers that you put down. The people aren't answering. And I was like, oh, I didn't know you were actually calling them. I thought that we were just kind of looking. But here, I'll text everyone and just let them know what's going on. OK, thanks, she said. Now Ollie heard me say, we're just looking at the puppy. And we might not get it. And he got sadder than I've ever seen him get in my life. He went over into a corner. And he had his knees towards the corner, all tucked up. And his arms were over his knees. And his head was on his arms. And he started crying so hard that he was doing little hyperventilation. So little, like that. Very, very, very sad. So I went and talked to him. And I said, what's the matter, buddy? And he said, you said we were getting the puppy. And now we're not getting the puppy. And I want the puppy. And just, oh, it was heartbreaking. So I said to my wife, we might be getting a dog. Today, you know? And so then we had a little conversation about it. And then what we did is we each took one of the kids. I took Oliver. She took Emerson. And we interviewed them. And I said, what are you most excited about with this puppy? And, you know, I got his answers. And he was excited just to have the puppy because it would be fun. And it would be sweet. And it would be cute. And he was worried that it would make messes, basically. And then I switched. And I took Emerson. And she took Oliver. And Emerson was also, he was worried that the puppy might bite people and that it might make messes in the house. And he was just excited because he really liked the puppy, basically. So then we all got together as a family. And we compared notes. And we kind of just decided. We had been at the pet store for over an hour, like an hour and a half, making this decision. And we went back over. And we said, we'll take the puppy. And so now we have a puppy. And here's what they didn't tell me, which I didn't know because I don't think I've ever had a puppy. Maybe. Maybe I have. I don't remember. But they don't sleep. She doesn't. It's like having a newborn baby in the house. That's why I stopped whispering. And now I'm talking because I realized she doesn't let me sleep. Maybe I shouldn't let her sleep, right? She goes to bed at around 8.30. And then wakes up at around 11, which is when I tend to go to bed. So I take her out. And then 11. Then like 1, then like 3. And then she's finally up at 5, 5.30. This is for the last 9, 10 days that I've been doing this. And I have never been, well, I was going to say never been more tired. But I waited. I've actually had human babies. And they do very similar things. She's also, she goes to the bathroom in the house constantly. Human babies did that, too. But they had diapers. She doesn't. The other thing she does, she eats everything, cords, papers. She gets into it all. And she even tried to eat me. That's right. She tried to eat my sweet little nose. And what's her name? Oh, we made a video about that. You should watch it. Or I guess I could just tell you, right? Her name is…

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #336 – Irving Brown Socks

    Bumperpodcast #336 – Irving Brown Socks

    Today we finally get to talk to one of our pals who hasn’t ever really been on the show, Irving Brown Socks. We get to hear his whole story and choke up a bit towards the end. Hug people in your lives, and hug your animals (unless they are fish). It’ll make your day that much better. Thanks for listening.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    In a deeply personal and touching episode, Natty Bumpercar breaks format by recording outside Bumperpodcast headquarters to introduce listeners to his beloved dog, Irving Brown Socks. Natty shares the 15-year journey of his black lab/border collie mix, from their first meeting at a pet adoption event in Georgia to their life together through multiple moves and the growth of Natty's family. The episode chronicles Sox's quirks, adventures, and the special bond between dog and family, while Natty grapples with his aging companion's declining health. This heartfelt departure from the usual comedy format offers a touching reflection on pet ownership, loss, and cherishing the time we have with those we love.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I do think it's kind of true where they choose you like i choose uh you pikachu like we're their pokemon essentially”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Be thankful for the time you have with stuff, with things, with people, whatever… Time doesn't come back.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We took him from a not great life. We gave him a great life. And that's all I could have done. That's all he wanted in the world.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #dogs #pets #family #loss #friendship #memories #lifelessons

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hey bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and this is this is a first this is a first for two different reasons the first first is that i'm recording this from outside the uh of headquarters outside we left the lab we took all the equipment we are outside uh so you might get to hear some nice environmental noises maybe a bird's gonna fly by i don't know maybe like uh maybe i'm gonna run and scream if a dragonfly tries to attack me these these are things that could happen uh and you're wondering well why are you outside it's that seems like a strange thing to do after 320 episodes well i'm outside because i wanted to be out here with my pal who really hasn't been on the show very much has never been interviewed that i can remember he is shaking his head no uh so i'd like to welcome to the show my friend mr irving brown socks hi buddy how are you oh those were such sweet little things blinks you just gave me now i'm gonna tell the story of irving and i will kind of relay his reaction to it because he did not want to get on mike he's uh embarrassed about his voice he's he feels like it's it's not podcast worthy and i said well clearly you've never been listening to the bumper podcast because anyone and anything hops on the mics on this show and he just said that's not for and i said okay i'm not gonna pressure you but i figured we would hang out kind of talk it out is that okay oh he's looking past me i see what's happening um so and if it's windy i apologize we do have wind screens on um irving brown socks it was born in i think atlanta georgia probably maybe decatur georgia or just a regular old downtown atlanta and um had a rough life he we adopted him uh and he uh we went to there was there was a grocery store and a target and a pet smart all right in a row whoosh and so we would go to this this shopping center on the weekends and they would have animals outside that you could go and meet and you know and hang out with all these animals take them home and we had two cats at the time and so we were like ah no more animals we got plenty of animals it was spot elliot and peanut loo i think i've told you about them before but you know who knows and uh one day we're walking and we look at this dog and he's a black lab and he's he's like all looking at us and his old tail's all wagging his butt's all moving around just just wagging his tail and uh we're like oh let's take that guy we'll take him for a walk it would give you leashes and they would let you walk him around the perimeter of the parking lot and uh you know it was we went for a walk and he's like looking back at us he's like hey guys it's me and you know whatever you're like all right cool and we took him back we were like thanks so much for letting us walk him you know we hope we had a nice time and uh that was it and then like a week or two later uh we ended up back at the shopping center and kind of went walked back by weren't even going to really look at the animals and there was this little border collie black lab same dude staring at us and like he was laying down and then when we walked by he he hopped up and he was like you i remember you remember me i remember you like it was like this real adorable connection and we had to go into a different store and i like and so it became this thing of like ah i feel like you know whatever they say this with animals but i do think it's kind of true where they choose you like i choose uh you pikachu like we're their pokemon essentially and um so that's how it all started and we took him home and he had gotten into a fight at the foster home that he was at and they the one of the dogs had had bitten his ear and actually had a little little cut a little rip in his ear and he was like oh my god really horrifying and uh so with ears dog ears there's not a lot of blood flow going through there so they it won't heal as quickly um because it can't scab up because of the properties of i don't know scabs i don't know how stuff works this isn't a medical show but he he came to our house and we kept we tried to put little band-aids on it little uh neosporin or whatever and it would never heal and he uh did something and reopened the the scrape and he started shaking his head just everywhere and this is in a our new house that we had bought in in in georgia this is a long time ago and he was just spraying spraying doggy blood everywhere it was horrifying and we were like we can't keep this this dog is crazy he was like you know doing normal dog stuff like eating stuff breaking stuff uh going to the bathroom in the house like it was it was a real real treat uh but we're like nope we got this dog he's he's our dog and we're gonna roll with it so uh eventually uh the the ear healed and he's fine he's running around the backyard having a great time he would escape every so often and it was kind of terrifying we had to go find him where'd he go and uh he's really fast and uh he had a dog next door his best friend was named chocolate and uh chocolate did not have the best of lives but he was he was a sweet dog he was kind of like a a pit bull lab mix and uh he would just kind of they just he kept they kept him outside all the time all the time and uh so i would have to sneak over and try to give chocolate some love but you know socks grew up with chocolate so it was kind of a a sad dog story but we still talk about him sometimes hey remember that chocolate and socks is he's looking at me right now he remembers uh so 15 years you know we we move uh from georgia we he moves into uh my in-law's house up in in in georgia and uh he's in in new york uh hudson valley and uh which he was so he was an inner city dog at that point kind of and we would go for big walks around the city and uh he he's very pulley when he would walk and we tried to train him we took him to doggy training classes and um then we went where did we go from there we went to uh we moved down to jersey to a little apartment in montclair and so he lived in there and it was it was that was his that was his best life i feel like uh because a school field right next to us where it was fenced in and so he could go and he would just just take off just sprint around this field like he was lightning lightning and um so he would go over there every day because it was right next door and um by the way we're gonna talk about this in another episode do you say next door next door n-e-x-t-d-o-o-r next door or next door like we're going to the next door i think it's next door but it sounds like next door anyway that's something that was bothering me last week so uh we we would go for walks and he would we he would he lived in this in this little two-bedroom apartment and um then we had uh emerson and uh you know emerson demands a lot of time and socks socks is very curious about this baby like what is what is this thing making all this noise right and uh he would go and he would look at it was sweet i don't i don't know if i have enough pictures of baby emerson with a teenage socks but um i wish i did um he didn't it was he was confused by snow because you know he's from georgia he's a georgia dog uh we moved around a couple times with the caldwell then we're now we're in uh cedar grove and i built him a i built him a nice fence which he immediately figured out how to get out of which is very sweet when you build a fence for someone just you know you see the fence see the boundaries finish the edges if you have to i never finish the edges so he's he's big on we have a family of deer who live here we have a fox we have a family of bunny rabbits and and he loves to uh interact with them that's what i'll say he loves to bark at him a lot um now he did have i'm giving you the story of my dog's life essentially it's what i'm doing here people um he's a wonderful dog you ever had a dog before dog or bad dog it was a good dog good bad dog i'm so sorry to hear that hey this this socks here he's a great dog he's a wonderful dog but he does he does do some bad things we uh we had a plumber come over once and uh here's the thing so he's a herding dog because of the border collie part so it seems to be his his move is people come in the house he might bark at him a little bit but it's not until they leave the house that he'll run up behind him and grab them all the way to the on their butt with his teeth uh which is not what you're supposed to do dog bad dog he uh he bit the plumber once yeah i bet a friend of mine once and uh and then one time i had a comedian a guy come over i was working on his website and socks is out on his he had a lead in the backyard so it's still there and um yeah he was i was like we'll take him off the lead and i was like no he's good over there i don't want him to he's weird with new people sometimes he's like ah he's fine great it's a bad idea he's like do it and i was like are you sure and i'm standing by socks he's like yeah do it and i unclick them and before the click is unclicked socks just takes off and uh knocked the guy over it was terrifying it was i was horrified um you know so he's very territorial which is you know he takes care of the house he must protect this house it's his house right he protects us and uh what was it a few years ago he got a weird condition on his nose it's so he's just he's this beautiful dog you know he's black he's got he's got white little socks he's got a little white belly a little white uh nose with a little starburst in his face a little bit a little white tip of the end of his tail and uh weighs about coming in weighs about 44 pounds irving brown socks um but he got this weird condition on his nose uh whereby it just kind of he kept rubbing it was like an ocd like a nervous thing where he would rub the edge of his nose off and uh we take him to the doctor they go hey try this cream all right that didn't work try this spray put this cone on his head but nothing was was taking right and um you know so but it wasn't causing him too much distress so we just kind of roll with it and he has as we call it he's got oh he's got the blood nose because look he it's really it's disgusting like he will rub his nose off and it's like you know what he's like oh we're gonna make it happen so why are we let's not please let's not do that that's not a good thing to do um what he does and we still love him love him to pieces smells ah you give the dog a bath and uh immediately like the the smells just linger it is still there he's like he's like pig pin from the peanuts but if he smelled he's he's smell pin i guess i don't know um but you know he he's he's a good old dog and then you know obviously in this weird thing where the kids didn't really latch on to the dog they knew there was a dog in the house was a concept of dog that's a dog uh but it wasn't until i'd say the last two years that they really were like hey you're our dog we love our dog and i was like yeah he's always been here he was here before you and they were like ah okay um and oliver super loves animals so he's it's what i'm saying is poor soxy he's not doing well and um so i'm not doing well i'm very sad about it and i realized that we'd never had a podcast together and i wanted to you know tell you guys about him i want to tell you his little story and so you could know so go rescue a dog right dogs are great if you if you have the means if you can take care of them they're they're fun to have around uh they it was it's all you know they all you got a dog what are you doing practicing to have a kid no kids are you much worse than dog dogs are much easier they just hang out with you they'll watch football whatever um so you know another weird thing is emerson is he's terrified of dogs i'm talking down from a teacup chihuahua all the way up to uh i was gonna say a mastodon but i think that's a an elephant but he's afraid of all dogs except for this dog this dog he's okay with and um every so often and well he feels like he's offended the dog you he's just like ah i think socks is mad at me i said i said something mean about him i'm like oh what did you say i said he smelled he's like he knows he smells he's got a nose everyone knows he smells it's okay and i just have to take emerson over to him and i'm like all right emerson say you're sorry to socks he's like i'm sorry dude and socks is just like i'm a dog and it's uh works out uh fine but it's it's a quirky cute little relationship they have um i did a lot of reading yesterday of articles and i'm like oh my god i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm too lost and because i i don't i don't have i don't know how to deal with you know if he if he passes away and so i was like oh man how do i deal with the the kiddos how do i talk to them about this and i read you know probably that's like 10 articles yesterday and a lot of them it's weird a lot of them they were fast reads because it was like oh there's a lot of copying and pasting happening here like you found this article and then you built off of that and you wrote your article good job you changed some words that's plagiarism um Anyway, that's, you know, that's, that's not my fight today. So, uh, but I got, I did get some, some nice things to do, um, some good ideas. And, um, one of them was, so we're going to have everyone in, uh, if, if, if you ever have an animal die, I will see how this works out, but I think it's, these are nice ideas. Uh, we're going to have everyone write out a list, five things, whatever, uh, of things that they loved about the dog. Um, just nice little things, right? And have those, everyone's going to have their little list and, and then we're going to have a ceremony. And now I've been planning here at headquarters to get a, uh, I want to have like a line of bird feeders, like nice bird feeders that look like little houses. Cause I think those are hilarious to think that there's birds that are living in houses. Uh, do they, you know, how's their wifi? Do they, do they go to work? Whatever. Um, and so we're going to, we're going to get them. We've got a nice bird feeder and I found one that it actually, it lights up at night, a little cling, a little light, which, and now I'm thinking the birds are going to hate that, but we'll see, you know, again, how that works out. But we said, we're going to put this bird feeder in and that's going to be like the, uh, the memorial spot, I guess. And, and we'll have a little ceremony because they all, all the articles say it's important not to just brush this stuff away. It's important not to just sweep it under the rug. You know, this is an event. This is an actual thing that happens in life. This is, this is a thing. It's a part of life. And so you want to acknowledge it and you want to, um, just, you know, you have, you have emotions, you have feelings. Let's, let's work through them. And I think that that makes sense. I think that's a good idea. So we'll have this little spot when we can tell our nice stories about the dog and, and, and maybe have a little bit of closure. Um, the heart, I'm having a couple of hard things. Uh, I think several hard things if I'm to be completely honest, but one of them is, um, uh, Emerson's birthday is on Monday and I, and I can't in any world, uh, bring this dog to the vet today or tomorrow, uh, and have this happen on his birthday. It just doesn't seem right or fair. So I'm, I'm, we're in a bit of a holdout pattern until Tuesday. Um, and you know, he's, he's not in pain. I'm going to say that he's, he seems, uh, moderately alert. His little tail wags. He's just not feeling good. So we're going to have a vet appointment set up for Tuesday. And, um, and that will be quite the day. I'm sure. Um, so I hope you enjoyed the story of Irving Brown Sox. I forgot. So he did live with Spot Elliott and Peanut Lou for a long time. He was in one of my cartoons, maybe two. Um, he, ah, now see now that's, this is where it's going to get sad. So, but now just, it goes with people. It goes with everything in your life. Be thankful for the time. You have with, with stuff, with things, with people, whatever, because you know, I, I, I try to, uh, I do a lot in life and I do a lot in life to, uh, keep moving. I'm like a shark. I want to keep moving or else I guess I, I don't know what happens. I keep, and I, but, and sometimes I don't slow down and enjoy, uh, the moments that I have. I've tried to get better at that recently. Um, to really to stop. And look at what, what's going on around you and acknowledge it. And, uh, is it's important, right? It's, it's time. Time doesn't come back. And, uh, uh-huh. I'm sad. And my little buddy here, he's, he's had a great life. We took him from a not great life. We gave him a great, oh, you can't even look at me. Look at you. You're embarrassed. Oh, look at you. But we gave him a great life. And that's all, that's all I could have done. That's all he wanted in the world. So he, he, he, he did, he had it all, right? And, uh, so that's good. So what I'm saying, so take care of yourself. Take care of people. Take care of animals. Animals are important. Uh, and, uh, just, just, you know, keep, keep moving forward day after day. And, um, did you, did you, at the end here, did you want to say anything? Or is that okay? Did I, did that encapsulate? No. You opened his mouth. Didn't it? He just, he licked his nose. So I think with that, we'll sign off. This is the Bumper Podcast. I am Natty Bumpercar, and I have been talking about and trying to interview my little pal, uh, Irving Brownsox, age 15, weight 44 pounds, beautiful eyes, smelly, fur coming out, even though he gets brushed all the time. Uh, okay. Bye, Sox. I love you.

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe