Bumperpodcast #438 – Season 3 – Dogs and Cheese

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The Natty Bumpercar Bumperpodcast
The Natty Bumpercar Bumperpodcast
Natty Bumpercar

Every week, Natty Bumpercar presents a few ounces of ridiculousness with a dash or two of stupefaction. It's totes banoo!


Natty Bumpercar 0:08
All right. Hey, how does work for the podcast like in normal life? If you’re near someone and then they yawn, then for some reason, I don’t know what you but you yawn as well. I do. I don’t know if you do. I think you do. Do you? Why is that? It’s like a yawn response. Like, why are we why are we triggered? I’m just I’m glad doesn’t happen when we sneeze, like one person sneezes, and then the whole table sneezing? That’d be terrible. But yawning, that’s weird to like, why? Anyway, I apologize. I didn’t mean to yawn. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is a bumper podcast I I had been out and about and I, you know, I’m, I’m working on the show here. Go into the different the different countries where the bumper podcast is on the charts. It’s actually we were we’ve made it to the charts. And, you know, talking to people, oh, they said, you need a theme song. Gotta go get a theme song. I was just like, ah, we okay, we’ll get a theme song. And then they’re like, you know, you got to do everybody don’t have an opinion, you know what you got to do? And I was just like, I don’t know, what’s, what am I supposed to do? And then they tell me all these things. And I, at some point, while they’re speaking, my eyes kind of glaze over. And my brain goes to another place. And if I’m to be completely honest, I don’t know what they’ve said to me. But I’m sure they’ve given me great advice. And then I feel guilty, because these people have given their time to try to tell me, you know, get to help me to tell me what to do. And then I don’t even listen. How ungrateful is that? Tremendously ungrateful? Huh? Well, else is going on. I’ve been working on the railroad, like, Oh, my live long days. But mostly, I’ve been working on the railroad, just just to pass the time away. Because I’m not busy enough. I I like to I like to I have a therapist, I was talking to my therapist about. She said, You seem overwhelmed. seem like you’re taking too much stuff on I was just like, Yeah. And she’s like, but you I know you like to do that. And you told me that, you know, as long as you’re feeling okay, then that’s okay. Are you feeling okay? And I was like, No. And so then she was like, well, then you need to take some stuff off of your plate, and stop doing as much stuff. And I was just like, Okay, that sounds good. And practice, those are good words, have no idea how to actually make that happen. And then she said, Well, your session is over, and come back in a couple of weeks. And by that time, either, you will have figured it out. Or we can work on it then, or knowing you, you’re probably gonna start three more companies and take on 16 more impossible tasks. And I was just like, all right, that sounds like a challenge. That’s your it seems like you’re saying, Can you do these things? And I’m going to tell you right now, yes, I can. I can. I can do all those things. And I’m here to tell you a bumper podcast I’ve I’ve succeeded in doing that. I am quite proud of myself. And I feel like you should be quite proud of me as well. Because I have managed to, not only not complete, not finish any projects, but I have managed to actually take more projects on. It’s very impressive. It’s my superpower. Really, if I had to, you know, figure that I have a superpower I think it’s going to be that I just continually add on to the pile it’s almost like a weighted blanket. It’s not you know, it’s like oh, the world is so nice and calm it’s not but you know, just for the sake of this relaxing the world of this world. Oh spring its spring again. It’s not Oh, look out. The weather’s beautiful and my I’ve had a nice meal again. You don’t haven’t really eaten today, but that’s my fault. There’s not any reason other than me. Okay, Oh, perfect. Everything great. Oh, Ah, you know, and then you go, you know what I’m going to do? I’m not going to take on all a lot of projects, I’m going to take on the appropriate amount of projects, which is not because life itself is a project, taking care of the kids having the job taking care of the dogs, these are all projects, making sure that the car is working properly, making sure that you know, there’s just there’s in life, there’s this massive list, it seems of things you can’t get away from. And you know, those are big responsibility. And make sure the kids brush their teeth. Did they? Do they floss their teeth? Oh, I don’t know. Look, that one’s already asleep. How do I get him to brush his teeth when he’s already asleep? So then, why in the world? Would I go and look for more things, more responsibilities to add on to the file? Now? I don’t know. I don’t know. I mean, I’m, I’m, I’m asking you a question. Because I don’t know the answer. And I wish I did. Sometimes, I think that what I do, and maybe we’ve talked about this before, I honestly don’t remember, and I apologize for that. But what I like to do is if I just keep adding more stuff on to my weighted blanket of life, then well, I don’t know what I think is gonna happen with what ends up happening is the weighted blanket gets so heavy with all the responsibilities that I can’t move. And then you know what I do? I sleep under the weighted blanket, it’s very warm. I must say. The dogs love it, because I’m not moving so they can just curl right up to me. I had no idea like, I’ve had dogs before, but I had no idea how much the dogs that they’d like to sleep. Like, that’s all they do really asleep. All right, come for podcast. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in the middle of recording a really great episode of your podcast, which I understand is not what we were doing a second ago there. But let’s say that I was recording a really good episode of the podcast. And you know, you’re just really moving and you’re talking and you’re saying things and you’re like, Yeah, this feels great. And then your kid bursts in and says, Hey, stop talking to your computer. And I’m just like, oh, that really, really boils it down, doesn’t it? That really hurts. Stop talking to your computer, dad. Ouch. Ha. Because I mean, I mean, in essence, that’s all I’m doing really is I’m talking. I mean, I’m looking at a computer. I’m talking into a microphone. And, you know, I have I have headphones on so that, you know, there’s there’s, you know, there’s a few things that are going on. But I felt like he had gotten me good enough that there was no reason for me to, to try to retort to try to try to come back. He had beaten me down as only your children can. What was I talking about? It is that’s the thing. This was yesterday. And now it’s today. And I I don’t know. I? I wasn’t ready to you know, I yesterday, I ate oatmeal for breakfast. And today, I ate grits. grits are just little tiny bits of corn. And there were some cheese in it and some pepper and a little bit of garlic salt. If I’m to be completely honest, maybe maybe some cheese, maybe maybe more cheese than I intended. But you know, that’s how cheese works. And they say how much cheese would you like on this year, like, keep going and then it’s always just a little bit more than you anticipated or wanted. And that’s fine. It’s a good problem to have. It’s different than like gasoline in your car. Right with cheese. They say how much do you get like, fill it up? Keep going. Let’s go. And they’re like, What does fill it up mean with cheese? And you’re like, I don’t know, but we’re on this journey together. Let’s see what happens. So you know, if you do that at a gas station, you’re filling your car up and we’re like, what did you What do you want? You’re like, fill it up and they’re like, Okay, no problem and then they do and then you know the little gas handle thing goes click one because that means it’s full. It’s registered that the car is full and gas and you’re like, you know what, let’s keep going there. You can’t because then the gas spills everywhere and And then you know, it’s a fire hazard. Cheese, not so much. The only hazard that Jesus is a fun hazard

for maj hazard. I don’t know what it is. So anyway, you know, I think I was saying something about the dogs being lazy. I don’t know why I think that but I, this is kind of always on my mind how lazy the dogs are, the only time the dogs get up. And this is nice of them is when they have to use the restroom, which is what we call our back yard now because that’s, you know, what happens back there. It’s it’s, and they get up when they when they’re hungry. And they get up to, to bark, sometimes to shake, you know, a lot of shaking going on. Little ear scratching, that’s gonna it’s gonna happen probably two or three in the morning. Which is I think why they sleep all the time. I think the dogs sleep all the time, because they don’t just sleep through the night. And they don’t let me sleep through the night. And I think that the message they’re trying to tell me is, hey, you know what, why don’t you just hop on our schedule here and curl up into a ball, find one ray of sunshine, curl up in that little ray of sunshine, and pretend that it’s really warming you up? It’s not, but you can pretend it is. My assumption is that my dogs have very good imagination, and that they can really, you’re like, Yep, this is it’s woof, the sun is really giving it to me here. It’s kind of like when the door opens. And there’s a couple of birds in the backyard. And they run over to what I can only assume is to talk to the birds. Let them know hey, what’s going on? I haven’t seen in a while ah, spring is coming up. But then do the birds always fly off because they don’t want any part of that conversation. Right? I don’t know. I would love to have that conversation. I would love for spring to be here. Because you know what happens when when spring rolls around? Well, I get to sleep better because the time change is nice. There’s sun and there’s vitamins. And the most important thing of all, and I think you’re gonna agree with me then this thing here but Bob louder is that there’s a lot of cheese

Outro 12:42
the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

NonPro 14:01
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