Tag: comedy

Bumperpodcast #327 – Is This Podcast Scripted?

Natty Bumpercar and Pig get into a real row over the mailroom, and why people aren’t checking their mail slots. This bickering brings Rufus T. Rufus back to the show – where he lets everyone in on some secret learning that he’s been up to.

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In Bumperpodcast episode 327, Natty Bumpercar makes a shocking revelation that throws the entire show into chaos: the podcast has been scripted all along! Aloysious J. Pig is stunned to discover there's a mail room with scripts he's never checked, leading to a heated debate about unpaid rent and missing cable channels. Rufus T. Rufus arrives as the show's lawyer and newly certified IT overlord, threatening legal action over contract violations. The episode devolves into arguments about lease agreements, allowances, and whether anyone actually listens to the show. Natty shares a heartwarming story about helping a lost stranger, pleading for everyone to just be nice to each other. The chaos concludes with promises of newsletters, wiki pages, and mail chimp subscriptions to finally get the show organized.

Memorable Quotes

“It is 100% scripted and if you check your cubby in the mail room that's where all the scripts have been for every single episode and if you're not checking them then I'm assuming there's just a huge pile.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Nobody listens to this show. I mean we've been looking at the numbers, the downloads, all of your analytic metrics. I know a few more words now because I took class at the mall.”

— Rufus T. Rufus

“You got to help people, you got to help strangers because you don't know what situation they're in and you don't know if one day you're going to be in a situation where you need help too.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #scriptedvsimprovised #rentdispute #legalcontracts #mailroom #kindness #helpingstrangers #behindthescenes #showbusiness

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: uh so hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and this is well you know what this is this is the bumper podcast because you can hear me lisping so you obviously automatically are like oh this is the show where the host and every person on it lisps even if they're a robot or a pig cool well i'm a little bit uh i have a kerfuffle i was uh i was going through the uh the script for today

Aloysious J. Pig: and bro did you just say there's a script hey pig yeah hey it's me aloysius j pig um did you just say that there was a script for this show this is just what what are you talking about there's no

Natty Bumpercar: way this is scripted bro it is 100 scripted and if you check your cubby uh that's where in the mail room that's where all the scripts have been for every single episode and if you're not checking them then i'm assuming there's just a huge pile i don't know wait is this why you haven't been paying your rent you've never actually even paid your rent this doesn't make any come on dude there's a mail room

Aloysious J. Pig: you've got a mail slot it goes into a cubby okay first things first no one ever told me that i was gonna have to pay for this and if they did i probably would have lived somewhere else okay because let's be honest the accommodations

Natty Bumpercar: maybe ain't as up to snuff as you think today is and by the way if i were to pay rent i would expect some things some frivolities if you will i would expect a stocked refrigerator i would expect the bathroom to be caked in mud because you know what pigs like a little bit of a mud bath and uh there's some other things too okay i don't think i get all the channels what do you mean you'll get all the channels we get all the channels we get the big package are you sure yes i'm positive i check seriously all you should you want to go through it right now no not right now well when do you want to do this because if we're going to do this like if we're going to be complaining about everything here at headquarters then i don't maybe that we start there we start with the channels and we work our way from uh zero there ain't no zero that's just okay fine yeah well we start from wherever the channels start and we go all the way through them well if you ain't got zero today at all yeah i see see how it works bumper car you said you got to go through it all the channels and then i caught you in a loophole and now your contract is expired and now not only did i not pay rent but i will be seeing you in a court of law whereby i believe you will owe me some sort of restitution for the pain and suffering that i have experienced since i have been living here so wait just because you don't have the zeros exactly that doesn't come on got the double o channel zero okay no it's not okay and i i don't i'm oh no this is not how i wanted my i hello rufus rufus lawyer to headquarters for all of our legal woes that is exactly correct it is i rufus t rufus and i've jumped into the fray this morning i am uh if i can stand the heat and so i will be staying in the kitchen the pot is on the stove and the burner is on high and there is oil in the pan with a little bit of butter so that it doesn't uh smoke and so you'll get your flavor and i'm gonna hop in to that hot pan in that hot oil on that hot stove in that hot kitchen because again oh rufus t rufus can take the heat and now what i understand first things first stop stop stop how come i never got a script for this show huh what are you talking about if i'm the lawyer i feel like i should be reading and resuscitating the words that are going to be spoken on a weekly basis are you supposed to be checking your uh mail slot evidently have you been to the mail i didn't even know it was a mail room evidently there's some sort of uh money that's to someone i'm not entirely sure okay listen both of you just stop there's no legal issues pig i will go to the mail room we'll go through the scripts we can organize them and then you can actually check them out and look and see what's there and what's kind of what i mean every week i send you guys stuff i always wonder why things go off the rails and now i know ah completely scripted from the first episode the bumper podcast i had it's uh you know it's got everyone's name who's supposed to be on it it's got like the synopsis of the beginning of the episode and you know it ah this is so i put in so much work i type those out manually individual every single one i type out manually on a typewriter because i don't want there to be a digital copy because then that's going to leak out on the internet and everyone's going to know what the episode is all about and you know if you spoilers but if you put that stuff out then people aren't going to listen because they're like why would i bother listening to your episode if i already know exactly what's going on and i'm not going to be able to listen to it what's going to happen give it give it give it give it hold on son now son now son now say listen to me uh nobody listens to this show i mean we've been looking at the numbers we've been looking at the downloads we've been looking at all of your analytic metrics i know a few more words now than i used to know because i took class at the mall where they told me i am now officially certified not only to be your lawyer but also to be your lawyer also to be your information technology overlord so i can what i can do is i can boot up a server for you i can boost your ram i can change the batteries in your mouth i can do all of these things on top of providing with you the best lawyering in this town in this whole place so back to square one when this show started i was under the interpretation that this was an improvised show and that there would be no scripting because you see that requires a completely different contract from the players now that would be mr doodle pooter that would be mr robot that would be whatever that uh that that that that that pirate man was called i believe there was other cat anyway anyone who's been on this show will have to sign this on the dotted line you understand that it's not exactly a dotted line it's a straight line very thin looks a little bit dotted in the right light but you understand i will put a post-it note with an arrow pointing to where they need to sign you understand and if they don't sign my friend every single episode is

Aloysious J. Pig: gonna have to go ah bah bah now you say now that sounds like a threat like he's gonna take every single episode of the bubba podcast away

Natty Bumpercar: but to me it sounds like you're doing a service to the community it sounds like you're helping people out you're like i'm gonna there's this flotsam there's this jetsam uh floating around the ocean i'm gonna take it out and we're gonna clean it up so that the whales don't eat uh whatever you're putting out okay so that's environmentally friendly it's environmentally safe and i like it i appreciate it rupes not only are you our it overlord not only are you our employer but evidently you're also our uh environmental wizard so thank you so much for keeping the planet fresh and safe for me and mine no totally in the time okay if you say me and mine that's putting on an assumption that there's more than there's just you there's just you there's you don't go out of the house i mean which is cool it's fine i'm just saying and i don't know why i'm sticking on that it's my sticking point because i'm kind of freaking out rufus you can't keep coming into the show and threatening to take the whole show away that makes you the villain of the show which is fine i guess because people seem to like villains these days why do people like why do people have to be mean to people we don't need villains the world is tough enough i always say that everyone should be nice to each other why just the other day i had to drop my car off at the shop because it had a hole in the tire and i said the guy well how long do you think this will take he said well there's a lot of cars in front of you probably a couple hours and i was like whoa until you can even see it he was like yeah and so i walked two miles home good for me right uphill both ways but on the walk home uh there was a woman who was kind of lost seeming and kind of she was and i was like hey how can i help you and she had ridden the bus and the bus dropped her off at the wrong place and she was like how do i get to and she told me the name of the place and so i found it on the map and i was like see this blue dot here that's you you're i'm a blue dot and i was like i know i'm a blue dot too maybe we're both blue dots i don't know and i was like but see this red dot and she's like yeah and i was like that's where you gotta go and she's like that looks far and i was like it is 2.14 miles and she was like nope but here's the thing i took her back to the bus stop because she had an hour and a half and i said just wait here when the bus comes make sure you get off i told her where to get off and i made her day because why because you got to help people you got to help strangers because you know you don't know what situation they're in and you don't know if one day you're going to be in a situation where you need help too and so then what do you do you're going to look for somebody to help you and hopefully the world's going to be a nice place and it's going to help you out as opposed to somebody coming in and threatening to take away my podcast which is this episode 327 and i haven't even gotten to i'm riled i'm a little bit riled now i haven't even gotten to the whole paying rent thing listen um i was looking through i went back down to the mail room while you was yipping and yapping and i found some papers and i found there was a lease agreement that was never signed i never saw that and so my assumption is and also i thought i was supposed to be getting an allowance to help you out with all these escapades that you put forth see none of that so what i propose is clean slate wipe it clean tabula rasa and then we move forward i don't owe you nothing you don't currently owe me nothing but that will you know it's going to build up the more i talk on the show and then we just go from there now gentlemen i understand i'm listening and it makes sense to me what i've done is i have uh signed up for mail chimp and i'm going to start a newsletter that's going to have a full list of people that are going to be in the i will send it to both of you you will fill out this form and this will act as a contract which i will store in the cloud and my documents in the cloud i will send you the password protected excel spreadsheet file and i believe that that's going to clarify everything and if you check my wiki page and you understand that's going to be all on there for y'all to read now if you need to and then you could move that forward as well i'm very nimble might you understand i gotta be quick and be ready to move i'm actually astounded that you knew all those words those are very technical words you really that mall class really did you right fine all right we're going to figure all this out you're going to send the form i'm going to read your wiki we're going to do all that we're going to push it on get whatever all that stuff is right and um next week though i would very much appreciate it if you guys could check your mail slots because we'll have the script and we'll have in there it's usually there by wednesday or thursday so that you guys can get into character and figure out what you're supposed to be talking about and if you have to research anything i don't know how method you are for your uh podcasting but i feel like we're on the right track now finally and moving forward i'm pretty sure that things are gonna be amazing

Unknown: you

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June 15, 2018
Bumperpodcast #325 – Invisalign

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

Holy cow! It is episode number 325. What a milestone! But – wait. Does everyone sound a little bit odd to you?! Listen to see!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In episode 325 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and the entire cast grapple with an unexpected side effect of their new Invisalign aligners. What was supposed to be an invisible teeth-straightening solution becomes a comedy of dental denial as Natty, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, and Robot all insist they sound exactly the same while clearly struggling to speak normally. Natty shares the trials of constant teeth brushing, living on water, and the horror of discovering that "buttons" are actually sharp epoxy spikes attached to your teeth. The episode celebrates the show's milestone 325th episode while the cast navigates lisps, extra spittle, and the realization that their voices have definitely changed, despite what the dentist promised.

Memorable Quotes

“They call them buttons which sounds adorable I would love to have buttons on my teeth… what buttons turn out to be are these little stalactites stalagmite sharp pointy just spikes of epoxy on your teeth.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“This will be known as the period of the Bumper Podcast where everybody sounded a little bit off. A little bit interesting.”

— Rufus T. Rufus

“Robot, you sound like you're from either the future or space or robot heaven… It sounds like your mouth is full of angel horns.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #invisalign #dentalhealth #self-consciousness #podcastmilestone #comedy #contracts #voiceacting

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: uh hey hey everybody it's me it's me nary bumper car and um so this is episode this is episode 325 and um that's huge that's a big episode what yeah no i i don't think i'm i'm not talking different at all why would you ask that what well listen no it's just that guys i got um braces invisalign i got invisalign they're not braces i guess they're like plastic trays that go onto my mouth and um i got it last well three days ago and um everything is weird and everything is different and i don't eat food and i only drink water and um now i'm super self-conscious about how i talk and um yeah it's pretty awesome you know it's good why why would i get it well because i had some teeth that were cracked because something like the way that my jaw was setting or sitting or something and uh it was also there's some weird gum stuff happening i don't really understand it i just kind of go to the dentist and i they say things and i shake my head sure sure but i was like hey guys this isn't gonna make me sound any different is it and they were like no of course it's not gonna make you sound any different and i was like good because i you know what i talk i talk for a living i just kind of i do i love talking talking so i just wanted to make sure i didn't i didn't sound any

Producer: different but um i was worried about because i got the invisalign too if it would make me sound any different than it uh but they said it doesn't affect your voice at all so it's good you know it's good it's a little bit tight on my teeth but uh it's overall i think it's a pretty good experience so uh yeah you know do you think i sound different my teeth are gonna be nice and straight no i don't think i sound different i think you sound exactly the same okay okay i wasn't sure all right am i right come on yeah i think you sound

Natty Bumpercar: exactly the same too like i don't hear any difference in how you're speaking at all so this is working oh

Rufus T. Rufus: hello there boom this is very difficult hold on a second let me just uh adjust my my jill but here everyone this is Rofresh teeth Rofresh and uh according to the contract i was able to get uh five invisaligns for the price of one and i made them sign and seal and deliver a piece of paper understand because i am the lawyer for here at headquarters for the bumper podcast i made them sign a letter that stated that no one's voice would sound different because of course we are in the business of making noises with our mouths you understand podcasting you understand standoff comedy you understand comedy you understand comedy you understand comedy you cartoons, and whatnot, such as that. There's a lot more spittle in my mouth, is what I've noticed. There's a lot more jumble, you know, just jumbles and jambles and such as that. Episode, excuse me, I do not like to pucker up on the microphone like that. Episode 325, Natty Bumpergut, congratulations for making it to episode 325. We have brought you this, hold on a second, gift that I will purchase, that I will find, hold on one second.

Natty Bumpercar: Guys, I can't even believe you guys got me a gift that I, I do think, I mean, like, to my ear, it sounds a little, a little bit different.

Producer: I mean, maybe it's just ghosts. Yeah, right? Just like a little,

Natty Bumpercar: just a tiny bit different. I don't know. It might just be, I might be stuffed up or something.

Producer: Well, it's terrible. Problems are ceasing outside right now. So it could be dead, of course. But, you know, what Rufus was talking about with the present, we, you know, all came together. We all gathered together in the break room and we were like, that's a lot of episodes, 325 episodes. And so, you know, we thought, oh, hey, we're saved by the door.

Doodle Poodle: It's a big little problem. It's a little problem. Oh, I can't, I don't know. I can't. I also got a universal life. So it's in my mouth. And they're not a sponsor. So I don't think we should keep saying their name. But I'm very excited, you said, to have straight teeth. That look like little pearls in my mouth. And I just wonder, I can't even talk. You know what I'm gonna do? Is I'm gonna go over, it's me, doodle poodle. I couldn't say it before. But now I'm able to say it a little bit easier. So anyway, I'm gonna probably make a doodle. Something exciting. Like somebody who has pearls in their mouth instead of teeth. I don't think you, I think you guys sound not this, I think you guys sound totally the same. So anyway. Thanks TP. This is kind of cool.

Natty Bumpercar: Alright, he sounded more down than I think I've ever heard him. He sounded kind of confused. and I get a little bit worried and like a little bit so like listen Invisalign right what do they do they take molds of your see it hurts I don't think it's supposed to hurt they take um they took molds of my mouth with this goo stuff and then they sent the goo to the place and I guess they made um little they call them trays and these trays are the shape of your teeth and so then um they uh make they make they put they say hey we're gonna put some buttons on your teeth they call them buttons which sounds adorable I would love to have buttons on my teeth that sounds like the coolest new trend hey did you get your buttons on your teeth oh man I don't do those until spring okay whatever but that's what they said they said all right time to put the buttons on you I'm like yay buttons and so what buttons turn out to be are these little stalactites stalagmite sharp pointy just spikes of enamel on your teeth and maybe not enamel epoxy epoxy is what I was trying to say and so they they put them on certain spots and then they flash this blue light and then the blue light goes in and it makes them hard like super hard you stuck your tooth so then the trays can hold on and adjust your how your uh your your teeth uh but so you had to pop them in you got to pop them out and I don't it's done something cool where I don't eat anymore like I eat once really in a day and I don't like to snack because I have to take them out whenever you eat snacks and then you have to brush your teeth and it's just constant tooth brushing I uh I drink a lot more water than I used to and I don't like to eat a lot of water

Rufus T. Rufus: I was going to say that you do look a little bit blue there, Aloysius J. Peters. For me, I'm extremely self-conscious about how I look. You can understand by the way I dress, by the way I walk, by the way I move, by the way I talk. So this is a big change for me. Maybe I can make it through. It's only 10 weeks, 10 episodes of the Bumper Podcast where you guys are going to… This will be known as the period of the Bumper Podcast where everybody sounded a little bit off. A little bit interesting.

Natty Bumpercar: Well, so, as far as the whole sounding different thing, honestly, I do. I know I do. But if I focus on it, then I can kind of get it better. But I actually have to do mental gymnastics and make my mouth move a little bit differently to sound the way it normally sounds. And it's kind of, there's an imperceptible, like, there's a lisp. There's a little bit of a… A drag on how I speak. And there's a little bit more air in it. I listen to these things. That's how I figure out how to make silly voices. But my wife was like, the first night, she was like, Oh, you don't sound different. You don't sound different at all. And I was like, but I do. I know I do. And I have to, like, shape my mouth differently. Like, these are interesting, weird things that I have to do. And then the next day, I was talking to her on the phone. And she's like, oh, I was watching this show. And there's a comment. A commentator. One of the guys on the show. And he must have had Invisalign. And I was like, wait, why? What do you mean? She was like, well, he sounded like you. And I was just like, but you said yesterday that I don't sound different. And now you said I do. It's all lies. It's a house of lies. So, you know, it's fine. It sounds different. That part, I'm not worried about. The annoyance of the constantly popping mouth. Not constantly. Twice. Twice a day. Like, I ate lunch. I ate lunch. And then maybe I'm going to eat a snack later. That's it. Water. All the time. Because I just don't. They're like, the trays are going to capture the bad stuff. And I'm like, I don't want bad stuff on my teeth. Oh, hey.

Robot: Hey, everybody. It's me, Robot. And I also received I was the fifth member of the Invisalign Club. So, I don't think I sound different at all. Do you?

Natty Bumpercar: Robot, you sound like you're from either the future or space or robot heaven. You sound completely like I listen to a pig and I listen to Rufus and I listen to Doodle Poodle and myself, obviously. We all understand what's going on with our mouths. But you, I feel like there's a lack of self-aware. You sound like a celestial robot being right now. Right. That's how you sound. It sounds like your mouth is full of angel horns. No, no, no. Or something like that.

Robot: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was told that I would sound exactly the same. Why, I have a commercial gig coming up very soon. A voiceover commercial gig where I'm in a robot sausage factory and I have to speak to the camera. I can't sound different. I have a contract.

Rufus T. Rufus: Now, did somebody say something about a contract? Because as I said. I have it in writing and it is stamped. It is annotated and it is authorized that we will not sound different. So I suppose I'm going to have to sound it up to somebody and say a few words.

Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, that time you didn't sound anything like yourself whatsoever. I think that the invisible line is messing with everyone. Hey, we made it to 325 episodes.

Doodle Poodle: Woo-hoo. Yeah, we did it. Woo-hoo.

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May 24, 2018
Bumperpodcast #318 – Spring

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

We are back, and feeling better, and ever-so-apologetic that we left you hanging for so ding-dang long!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast after a three-week hiatus to reassure listeners he's doing much better. He shares a hilarious story about rescuing a rabbit stuck in his backyard soccer net just before Easter, with his kids convinced they'd caught the actual Easter bunny. Natty also updates listeners on his home renovation project—building a new bathroom complete with wainscoting and a pocket door—and discusses his recent comedy show experiences. He reflects on the differences between performing at rowdy venues versus city comedy clubs, revealing his preference for fast-paced, tangential humor over structured joke formats. The episode showcases Natty's signature storytelling style as he navigates family life, home improvement, and the comedy circuit.

Memorable Quotes

“While I'm doing this one of my children was like 'I'm so sorry Easter Bunny' and the other kid was screaming out 'I want Lego, I want Minecraft, you know I want a big chocolate bunny!'”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I don't take compliments well. Are you guys good at taking compliments? If somebody's like 'hey Bumperpodcasteer you're really good at listening to the Bumperpodcast' are you like 'ah I'm all right at it'?”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I was like bro maybe you should have asked him for a new soccer net because this one is now trashed.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #easter #rabbits #homeimprovement #comedy #stand-up #parenting #weather #animals

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: all right mental note to everyone who's starting a podcast uh from someone who's been doing it for a long long time and should know better do not record an episode uh about how sad you are and then inadvertently take three months three months three weeks off uh don't take three months off either because that's longer than three weeks because uh then people are gonna worry about you which is nice and they reach out and they want to see are you okay which is so sweet and i appreciate that and i am uh i've been so busy you guys and uh and and i'm not sad anymore i don't think maybe i'm a little bit sad but i'm not i'm much better and i think part of that has to do with spring considering happening uh it hasn't happened yet uh uh last weekend was easter sunday easter bunny came and uh and it was a gorgeous day beautiful day kids running around outside the next day six inches of snow what and then the next day after that fog fog so thick you couldn't see your hand in front of your face uh and then last night last night was the windiest night ever it's so we're living in uh some sort of crazy uh weather world where people just spin a wheel and it's just like oh now you're in a desert that's not weather is it you know uh but i gotta tell you a story here's a funny story speaking of easter we uh last week we had we was on a thursday the thursday before easter and you know every morning i let irving brown socks our uh resident border collie black lab i opened the back door there's a fenced in yard and i let him go out into the yard to do whatever he's gonna do i don't ask him what he does he just goes out there and does stuff and uh but when i opened the door i heard a commotion down on the edge of the of the deck and uh we have a groundhog who lives under our deck i don't know if it's the groundhog i don't know if he sees his shadow he's uh not very receptive to me trying to form a relationship with him a friendship uh but i definitely did not want the dog to go out because that is a kerfuffle that i did not feel like dealing with at that time so i grabbed the dog i said go back inside and i went to check to see what was going on what was the hubbub what was the commotion and i get to the edge of the deck and i look and it was not the groundhog in our soccer net we have like a one of those little soccer nets for the kids uh there was there was a bunny rabbit there was a giant i mean like he was really big too like he was all stretched out and end of tips of toes to tips of toes uh you know ears to nose everything he was probably like 14 inches like it was a pig it was big it was kind of intimidating large but he had gotten caught in this in the soccer net i guess his big idea was i'm gonna run through i'm gonna run through that net and it did not work out for him and uh so i was like oh no oh no oh no oh no okay trapped bunny so i went back inside and i was like hey guys we caught the easter bunny we got we got the easter bunny we got the easter bunny come check out he and they were like what because there has been some you know talk around around the house that oh easter bunny's not real easter bunny's nah easter bunny's not real and i'm like bro easter bunny's real and he's like easter bunny's not real i'm like you wrote him a letter asking for certain things he's real and uh and he's like so and so at school says he's not real says he's a fake and i was just like why are you gonna listen to that kid listen to me which is probably setting up you know some horrible thing in the future because there's a bunny trail there's a peter cottontail you know easter baskets how else am i getting easter baskets in my house i ask you uh anyway so i grabbed the kids we went outside they check out they were like oh my god it's easter bunny and i was like listen i don't know if that's the actual easter bunny or if he's just like a friend of the easter bunny if he's like uh if he's spying on us if he's taking notes to take back to the easter bunny and they were just like so i was like all right life lesson here's how we save this animal i went inside and i got some gloves and i got a towel and i got some scissors and uh so i go out and you know you you're gentle you'd calm you go up to the bunny and i put the towel over his head and i was kind of uh with my let me think left hand i just held him down right right there at his neck uh kind of on his head gentle little hold down and the right hand i had the scissors and i start to uh gently cut the net in between him and the net so that he can escape now while i'm doing this one of my children uh was like i'm so sorry easter bunny i'm so sorry and the other kid at the same time was screaming out he was just like so i want uh lego i want minecraft you know i want a big chocolate bunny and like he's just listing all the stuff that he wants to this poor rabbit and uh the rabbit he escapes he gets out he runs away and i was just like bro maybe you should have asked him for a new soccer net because this one is now trashed and he was just like oh good point good point uh uh so then we had easter easter bunny saved i'm a hero uh easter bunny saved and then uh then you know we had easter i just said that wow but we had 18 people at our house and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i don't know if i think i've talked about it i've been building a bathroom in my house like there's a room it's it's their toy room it's like the back room of the house and it used to be i think it might it used to be a uh a porch and they turned it into a closed-in room and that's where the toy room but i carved out a little bit of that and i and i had to build two walls i had to close up a wall on the window on the wall and all sorts of stuff but and i built a bathroom and i had the the electricians in the summers do their stuff because i don't have any time to learn that or to figure out how to do code stuff but and i put in tile and uh put in a chair rail and wainscoting and wainscotting i don't know how to say that and even the people at home depot don't know how to say it which is interesting wainscotting wainscoting i don't know you don't know who cares then uh and you know uh put in a pocket door so it's a little door that goes inside the wall and i had to put in a neat little handle for that uh and so uh the goal i had it all finished not finished i had it all in there by the time easter came so we had an extra bathroom and i put a coat of primer on it so it's all white but now i have to go back in and do some finish work a little bit of caulking a little bit of spackling a little bit of sanding uh but then it's gonna be done and i've died and then it's done there's so much pressure off it that was one of the things so much pressure pressure pressure pressure um and i think what else i've been doing a lot of shows it's another reason i've been so tired because i've been doing so many shows which is awesome it's phenomenal it's great it makes me happy and then people are like you're doing so good at the shows and i'm like ah thanks i don't take compliments well i'm not good are you guys good at taking compliments if somebody's like hey bumper podcast kateer you're for not you're really good at listening to the bumper podcast do you think are you like ah i'm all right at it i don't know i try i mean i try to listen i i do i do a lot of things i do a lot of things i do a lot of things all right that's how i was at the shows i was like ah thanks i said words that's what i always say i said some words i said i said them in order some of them some of them i said too fast and they weren't in order and they didn't understand them that's fine um but route i've had rowdy crowds and i've done well with the rowdy crowds uh because i move quick here's something that i i don't know if i'm learning i'm trying to figure out what i'm learning uh but if you have structured jokes a structured joke is set up and then punchline so uh set up punchline uh uh why did the uh oh yeah why did the pony go to the doctor that's your setup why did the pony go to the doctor because he was a little horse that's your punchline it's it's terrible i get it but why did the pony go to the doctor because he was a little horse uh so those kind of jokes sometimes the crowd is rowdy they're they don't want to listen they're like we don't care about your your funny little story so what i end up doing is just like exploding on them and just like this thing oh that thing crazy thing and moving really fast and quick which sometimes you're not going to get sustained laughter you're not going to get it like all the way through but you're going to get like pockets of laughter and bursts of laughter uh they're like what is happening this is crazy this guy is crazy like that and uh but it's been working and then i can still dip into material if i need to and um it's fun i've had a lot of fun now the weird thing is is is that's how i used to do stand-up was just this tangential just hitting everything i could as quick as i could uh and then i was like oh my god i'm gonna do this and i used to not give any any room for laughs i figured out that uh they're since they're supposed to laugh that i i pause every so often and i do let them laugh and then and then i'll go into material but the thing is is that that's working at elks lodge and vfws in pennsylvania and new jersey and delaware and all these places over here uh but if you go into into the city it's a different animal entirely because they don't really care so much about i mean they want hey you got you know seven minutes four minutes whatever five seven uh and they want you to be like boom joke boom joke boom joke boom joke and they want you to prove that you can do that and then i think they maybe will take the uh reins off a little bit and let you play around a little bit but it's it's that hitting that sweet spot because for me i don't enjoy doing uh boom joke boom joke boom joke it doesn't work well with my brain it never has uh and so it's it's something i gotta kind of rectify and figure out but i'm having fun so i gotta keep doing it right doing a bumper podcast talking you guys i've been drawing flyers for comedy shows have you seen them i don't know how i don't know i'll figure out how to link to them but uh i've done like i don't know one seven maybe like eight or something at this point where people like hi they're like hey we're gonna give you money and you're going to draw things and i'm like yes you're gonna give me money and then i'm like all right cool and then they don't even they're just like they don't tell me what to draw they just let me draw anything and they put the flyer information on it and then it comes out you know something ridiculous like i had one there were these two comedians and there was a guy sitting on an eagle jousting another guy who was sitting on a kitten like it's how much fun is that it's great and then uh for the elk slot there was uh i drew an elk on this on stage telling a joke and then uh two elks at the table making fun of that elk and then the comedians i drew their little heads like mounted on the wall and it was so it's like this is what i this is this is what i want to do i just want to do more of it and i want to uh sleep sometimes too one of the children got up at 5 15 today not nice child not nice at all anyway bumper podcast i'm sorry i left you saying that i was sad i'm happier now it's better now the world's a good place and you're awesome and it's even better because you're in it so hugs and hearts you

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April 5, 2018
Bumperpodcast #316 – Breathless catch-up

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

Holy cow. There has been so much going on in our world. We breathlessly go through it all! And, it’s our last little ad for an app called ‘Picniic’ – (sad face – definitely go get the app, though) on today’s episode of the Bumperpodcast!

Picniic is a nifty organization app for families who have way too much going on. I started playing with it last week, and was immediately shocked at how many times I have triple-booked myself over the next two months.

To check it out, yourself, go to picniic.com/getstarted to set up your account and use promo code: PODPIC for 30 days of Picniic Premium free! (Repeat with emphasis on URL and promo code and SPELL P-I-C-N-I-I-C)

Send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this hilarious episode of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares his disastrous week filled with mishaps and mayhem. After learning he's been doing podcast intros wrong, Natty recounts battling a brutal case of strep throat that required an emergency visit to a minute clinic. Things spiral further when he loses his wallet and spends days frantically searching his house, car, and various locations before having to cancel credit cards and get a new driver's license. The chaos continues as Natty leaves his credit card at a restaurant and nearly loses his car key at a parking garage during a nerve-wracking audition in New York City. Through it all, Natty maintains his signature humor while learning hard lessons about organization and keeping track of his belongings.

Memorable Quotes

“I had strep throat. It was the worst. It hurts so bad, like my throat was made of broken glass. Broken glass everywhere, your throat hurts so bad.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“The guy's like 'Can I just ask what's going on with your buttons? Is that part of your bit?' And in my head I was just like, oh how fun, if Pig was here.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I started hyperventilating because I'm like why am I losing everything at this point, everything is getting lost.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #strepthroat #lostwallet #auditions #organization #comedy #mishaps #podcasthosting #newyorkcity

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hey i so i found out that i've been podcasting wrong the whole time i'm supposed to do an intro at the beginning of the show to let you know where you like i'm supposed to be like hey you're listening to the bumper podcast and i'm your host natty bumper car and today we're going to talk about blah blah blah of course you know because you've listened to the bumper podcast before that's not even possible because random stuff happens here ridiculous random stuff so if i'm going to be like today we're going to talk about geodes well i don't know if we're going to talk about geodes that might be my plan but then pig's going to show up or rufus t rufus or some other that pirate guy who doesn't even really have a name i don't think and and ruin everything anyway i'm natty bumper car i'm your host on this week's edition of the bumper podcast your favorite podcast to find out everything that's going on in coffee can alley and in your world there does that work i don't know uh i wasn't here last week why oh well i had one of the worst weeks ever how did you have one of the worst weeks ever i had strep throat oh oh oh it was the worst holy cow it hurts so bad like it was like my my throat was made of broken glass broken glass everywhere your throat hurts so bad and i don't care but i do care i was gonna go to my doctor but there was so much flu stuff going around that the doctor was like all right i can see you in may and i was like may and she's like yes of 2027 and i was like i can't wait that long my throat hurts and so she sent me to a minute clinic and i went over there and uh i ended up i mean i thought i was done i was i waited for two hours just sitting in this little chair and uh and i had to pick the kids up i had i had until 5 30 they called me at 5 14 and i was just like went back and i was like i have to be somewhere at 5 30 because that was how i was talking because i couldn't talk and then she was like well what seems to be the problem what seems to be wrong with you today and because she was very happy and chipper and very apologetic for making me wait so long but i didn't mind because you know what there's people in front of me and that's fine some of them did online check-in that's soul-crushing when you're standing in line waiting for people to come in and you're like oh like it's strapped and have you ever been tested to see if you have strapped throat let's just say it's not a pleasant test so what they do is they take essentially they take cotton swabs like q-tips but they're really long and like they're on the end of uh chopsticks and they shove them down your throat and they swab the back of your throat and then they they run that swab over a culture like in a little petri dish and uh no that's not true they took the swab oh she just dipped it into uh little tubes like test tube type things with some sort of liquid in them and uh within three minutes she had a timer and she the whole time she's like so i don't i don't know if you have strapped about no when she when she did the swab she said oh no your throat is very raw and i was just like and then she she she dipped it and she's like listen i don't know if you're gonna have strep but uh if you if you don't if this comes back negative then we can always send it away to find out and i was like i need to know right now not now but right now i need you right now and here's the thing she i have strep head strep so she gave me a little antibiotics i started taking them and within two days my throat felt better yay i'm human again uh on top of that you know i had a slew of shows and and those were fun uh especially because i didn't have strep anymore and then uh what is it monday was president's day oh and i was supposed to send submit uh a thing for an audition for this thing and uh which i i don't know who knows i don't know and uh but they wanted it monday night by midnight and i i found out about it on monday and so i just i didn't get a chance to do it so i sent it in on tuesday morning you know all apologies here's the doodad here's the tape here's my resume whatever and uh and i think they called me back within seven minutes i was just like whoa all right and then they're like can you come in i had to go into the city i was gonna take a day off from work and go into the city and do an audition and uh and i ended up having to work on time and and i went to the audition and they were like my my work was just like oh are you in the are you in the city interviewing like like i was like no i want my keep my job i like my job please don't take my job please oh please oh please oh that's yeah i knew my brain was trying to tell me something uh but you know what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna take a take a minute for my word for my sponsor and then we're gonna come back i'm gonna tell you the other like it was a crazy week all right you with me you still there awesome okay and now a quick word from one of our sponsors so busy but luckily i discovered picnic it is an organizational app for my family i can enter events into a shared calendars we have to-do lists shopping lists and even recipes so you should totally go do it go get organized just go to picnic.com slash get started to set up your account and use promo code pod pick for 30 days of picnic premium for free that's picnic p-i-c-n-i-i-c.com slash get started and promo code pod pick so go and get organized today now return you to whatever in the world it was that you were listening to just before the commercial here on the bumper podcast good luck you're probably going to need it see organization organization organization that's the key organization for you and me the thing is i was so sick last week and so i was at a here's i think i got sick i was at a birthday party on sunday at a movie theater and i think that's probably where i got strep but the thing that happened to me at that party was i lost my wallet i lost my wallet my wallet with everything in it and you know when i found out so that was sunday that monday i was at a show in the city and it was like 10 o'clock at night and i was gonna get a a tea or something and i went to pat my wallet back pocket front pocket front pocket jacket pocket jacket pocket under jacket pocket under because i had two jackets on because i was so cold uh everything went through my bag went to my car no wallet i was in the city i was in the whole different state i live in new jersey it was in new york and i was just like i don't have a wallet i have to get home i don't know where my wallet is i don't know where my wallet is and i texted my wife and i was just like do you have hey have you seen my wallet no wallet no wallet right and so then the next day the strep like hit me like a bulldozer and so i was kind of out for a couple of days and then you know at that point i'm like three days away from the wallet so i start cleaning the house but here's what i do when i lose something is i straighten the house and then after i straighten everything then i go through and i try to room by room it and i just i deep clean it and uh usually things pop up this time no i went through both cars i went through when i got back to work i went through my desk and everything no wallet and i went to all the places that i had been i went to the movie theater i went to a starbucks and i went to uh my gym and no wallet no wallet no wallet so then i have to uh don't lose your wallet because you know what you have to do you have to call your credit card companies you have to cancel your credit card you have to remember everything that was in your wallet to make sure that you get all the credit cards i then had to go to the dmv and i had to have like a birth certificate and a whatever that a social security card all these little forms of id get a new uh license and um had to pay for that had to get a new wallet um and what else i mean like it's just such a pain in the butt it's not fun so don't lose your wallet take care of your wallet take care of your things all right but now i'm like hyper freaked out because i lost my wallet and um the other night my wife and i went to dinner restaurant that's nearby but we had to meet there because i was coming from one place she was coming from another and she so i paid and i had to stop and get gas on the way back and she was kind of following me because we don't want to get home too soon because the babysitter was going to be there and we wanted the kids to be asleep so i stopped the gas station i had left the credit card it was like my spare credit card i didn't have a wallet at that point i didn't have a driver's license i left my spare credit card at the restaurant my wife was like what's going on i don't know i'm losing things so it was not pleasant but i went back and i got it and i called the restaurant i was like hey i left my id there it's a small restaurant they were like nope no ids found and i was just like yes it was and they were like nope and i was like go talk to the waitress and she was like nope but then she i was just like i need you to go back and then she did and she found it hooray so this is now the third that's the second one the third one when i went to the city to do this audition i ended up having to drive into the city to do this audition and i didn't want to do i wanted to take a bus or train but i had to be on the phone for a meeting yada yada so i had to park in a parking deck and i did the audition and the audition was amazing so i went in and they called my name and i went and i had to stand on the x and i was like hi how's everybody doing i was in a pretty great mood and uh because it was a nice day and i was in the city you know it was you know it was fun and uh they were like okay you're gonna say your name and uh say non-union and then and then you're gonna go and i so i said my name and then i kind of stared at him and they stared at me there was like five of them and then they said okay and go and i didn't i was confused and i said i said go where and then then they looked at me and i went oh you wanted me to say your word the word you the words you wrote and they were like yep that's yep and i was like i just got these yesterday can i i'm just gonna put them on this bench this stool in front of me please and uh they're like well you don't have to know all the words and i was just like i know i just want them there just for comfort's sake so and then the guy's like can i just ask what's going on with all you with your buttons your buttons are not buttoned sir and is that part of your bit and i was just like i don't he's like you're gonna pull a prop out of there or something and in my head i was just like oh how fun to be a pig was here but uh then i was just like yeah chicken out of my shirt and i don't know and it was a storage facility and i was like i don't know what chickens have to do with store and they started laughing and i was like all right i got them i made them laugh that's all i care about so then i get back to the car i drive back to jersey i stopped to get a little sandwich and then i realized that the the parking detect guy detective no the parking attendant i he hadn't handed me my key back because you have to give him just the key to the car so i had my house keys but i didn't have the key to the car but i was like but the car is working and then in my head i was super freaked out so i was like wait did he start the car and he's holding the key and he didn't give it to me so now i can't restart my car but no it actually ended up that the car would start and so i didn't know what i looked everywhere in the car i looked in the bag and i started hyperventilating because i'm like why am i losing everything at this point everything is getting lost and then um i had to figure out which parking i was parked in because it was in the city and there were like six on that block and i called and i was like hi i think you have my key and the guy was just like nope and i was like well where would you put it because i had gone through the glove box i went through this the middle panel like the whatever i went to every nook and cranny in the car and he's like did you try the dashboard and i was like no why would it be on the there it is so i had my key so strep throat losing everything crazy week how about you how you doing love you to pieces thanks for listening to the bumper podcast

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February 23, 2018
Bumperpodcast #315 – Headaches

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

Oh no! We are all full of headaches, and it isn’t very fun. But – you know what is fun? Our little ad for an app called ‘Picniic’ on today’s episode of the Bumperpodcast!

Picniic is a nifty organization app for families who have way too much going on. I started playing with it last week, and was immediately shocked at how many times I have triple-booked myself over the next two months.

To check it out, yourself, go to picniic.com/getstarted to set up your account and use promo code: PODPIC for 30 days of Picniic Premium free! (Repeat with emphasis on URL and promo code and SPELL P-I-C-N-I-I-C)

Send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar finds himself discombobulated after someone mysteriously steals his chair, forcing him to stand while recording. He discusses the challenges of shoveling giant snowflakes and shares a harrowing personal story about migraines affecting both himself and his son. Natty recounts an emergency room visit with his son and his own intense migraine experience that left him incapacitated for an entire day. Despite the pain, he reflects on the realities of parenting and how parents put their children's needs first. The episode offers both humor and genuine vulnerability as Natty navigates family health challenges while maintaining his signature comedic perspective.

Memorable Quotes

“Here's the thing with snowflakes so once they fall they're pretty much just like i'm just gonna stay here bro and you're like oh sorry bro but i need you to leave bro and they're like sorry bro but i'm here bro.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“When you have kids you're not even priority number you're not one you're probably not two you're probably not three you're as long as you can stand and blink your eyes then that's what you get.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“He was like i'm available friday night if you need to go to the hospital. That's very sweet like that he's scheduling his time out.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #parenting #health #migraines #winter #familylife #hospitalvisits #comedy

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: completely and totally discombobulated that is how i am today hello bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and why am i so flummoxed well somebody took my chair that's i'm just gonna put it out there i don't know who it was i'm not gonna point any fingers i'm not gonna like name names but my chair is gone i'm now i'm currently i'm standing and i'm talking into the microphone which is fine i feel like it's giving me a little bit of a different energy i feel like this is kind of a slightly different whoa this dude's just standing up while doing a podcast what is this stand up podcast come what i don't know stand up comp pod podmody comedy we ha wait a minute why don't we make a word we'll squish together comedy and podcasts com com comcast wait that's that's a company uh podmody it doesn't sound good it's that's you know what i'm gonna need your help with this because i can't figure out a good way i'm usually pretty good at making these uh these mashup words pod com anyway what else is going on well it's snowing outside right now those and it's those snowflakes that are so big like giant enormous snowflakes and they're kind of beautiful to look at because they fall really slowly i can see them out of my window but i'd rather they not happen because i have to then go out and gently ask them to leave my sidewalk and my uh driveway so that i can leave so that people don't fall and uh and ask me for money um here's the thing with snowflakes so once they fall they're pretty much just like i'm just gonna stay here bro and you're like oh sorry bro but i need you to leave bro and they're like sorry bro but i'm here bro and you're like bro and they're like bro it's a good conversation but they don't they don't move so then you got to get a broom or uh you got to get a shovel do you do any have you any any have you ever shoveled snow it's not fun it hurts it hurts your back me my lower back my my especially uh i've seen people if it's a dry snow they'll go out with a uh a leaf blower and they'll blow the stuff off i i'm not skilled enough to do that i don't think um so that's happening more importantly we've been struck by dun dun dun migraines really yeah poor m he's been having headaches and to the point where we uh we went to uh the emergency room we went to the doctor last week and then friday we ended up at the emergency room when we were there for so long hey guys if you ever noticed when you go to the hospital time seems to go slower yes yes i have um and he had to get a shot and here's the thing the doctor was just like how much does it hurt and he was like it hurts a lot and they were like well does it how much does it hurt enough we could fix it but we need to give you a shot so you can either you know whatever or we can give you a shot he's like give me the shot and i was like whoa the kid's asking for a shot that that means serious business is happening but that you know we got some uh some uh prescription stuff and he's been taking it and it seems to get better but then it comes back and it's back and it's back and it's back poor kid i feel terrible for him and then randomly uh monday night uh i so sometimes here's the thing guys a little bit about me i get migraines too not all the time but sometimes they run in my family uh which is great um it's a wonderful thing to pass down to people and it's a wonderful thing to pass down to people and it's a wonderful thing to pass down to people and i was like oh my head hurts a little bit and then this is when i got uh m and then by the time i got to ollie's school i was like oh no i'm in big trouble here this is not gonna be pleasant right and by the time i got into ollie's school so that was in the parking lot then by the time i got into the school i was just like the pain the pain is down oh i can't like i couldn't move it could hurt to move it hurt to breathe it hurt to my eyes everything and so i had to have the teacher help him put his jacket i was just like help him jacket please and then i got got him and i held his little hand i got him to the car and i had to sit there for a solid two minutes eyes shut like palms pushing against eyes to uh right myself so that i could then uh drive back home uh it was it was it was not a pleasant experience by the time i got home luckily and randomly my wife had left her car and i was like oh my god i'm gonna die and so she uh she was in the driveway and so i was just like help children me and so she's like go upstairs and that's where i was for the rest of the night it was but it was the most pain it was so much it was phenomenal how much pain i was in and um you know what i i'm gonna tell you i i don't this is fun i'm gonna tell you about it uh as soon as we get a word from our sponsor and now a quick word from one of our sponsors i'm so busy but luckily i discovered picnic it is an organizational app for my family i can enter events into a shared calendars we have to-do lists shopping lists and even recipes so you should totally go do it go get organized just go to picnic.com slash get started to set up your account and use promo code pod pick for 30 days of picnic premium for free that's picnic p-i-c-n-i-i-c.com slash get started and promo code pod pick so go and get organized today now return you to whatever in the world it was that you were listening to just before the commercial here on the bumper podcast good luck you're probably going to need it yay so picnic thank you again so much and real quick i wanted to say so we have been using picnic that was just a little commercial but uh sponsored by whatever but the thing is it's changed my life as far as i can put all my shows into it i put everything in there right but it's a little bit because now my wife looks at the calendar which is now a shared calendar so she can see and she's like oh you're you got a lot of you've got a lot of shows coming up you you're not you're gonna be gone a lot and i'm like i know it's great right and she's like and i'm like oh what picnic oh so you know but then it's also like if somebody's like hey do you guys want to have go to this birthday party on this day i'm like one second please and i go and i go to the party and i'm like wait i'm going to meet my friends there and i'm like why didn't I maybe i was going to the party because something's there so whatever it's great i love it i love it i love it we haven't done shopping lists yet because we're not that organized in life but maybe at some point we will morph into our next forms and uh our super saiyan organized forms and we can we can utilize that um and then once the kids have phones maybe we use it because you can whatever it's great try it if you have if you if you have kids especially do it because otherwise you'll go crazy um so So here's something this is me. This is me being fun at a party. So back to my headache It was it was really cool In a horrible way because I was in so much pain that I I was telling someone I was having like this out-of-body experience where I Was kind of I was it was we this is my it was my business how my brain was coping with it It was my brain was looking at my body and it was trying to It was me it was like visually trying to move things around to make it stop and like I they were like I would see like these little pegs and and my body my brain would push a peg Which and it was like and this is what was happening and then like sometimes and not even joking They would push a button or pull a lever or whatever and then there would be like an explosion of more pain And so it was like my body was playing this game To try to fix it or whatever it was brutal and You know all through the night It was kind of off and on and I'm up and I'm down and I got up late in the night at some point And had a bowl of cereal because I was also it made me kind of nauseous and my tummy hurt But I was just like I think I have to eat some sort of food or else. This is just gonna Exacerbate the situation make it worse. So I had the cereal And and yeah, whatever I woke up the next morning and it was still there, but it was dull and it was kind of over to the side So, you know, we we move on and move on but it was it was like losing an entire day It was how it was how it felt like by the time Tuesday rolled around I was you know, it's like what Pat? What was that? I don't want I would rather not have that anymore. Have you guys ever had these things there? It's yuck yuck It's a straight one-way ticket to yuck town. So don't do them So with poor M we got to go we got to get he's got to get an MRI And I was thinking I was like, can I sit next to him in the MRI maybe cuz I my brain is hurting too they said no and then he's got a Visit with a neurologist too. So I mean it's so funny when you have kids like I'm having the same stuff He's having I would go so far as to say worse, but it's not a competition competition but you take care of the kid and you know if you can still stand if you can still get from point a to point b then hey guess what dada mama you're just deal with it you got to deal with it so much like that's when you have kids you're not even priority number you're not one you're probably not two you're probably not three you're as long as you can stand and blink your eyes and uh sign the homework's done form or whatever then then that's that's what that's what you get so and i mean it's it's fun it's fun barely existing no but you know it's he uh emerson did come in that night uh on monday and he he you know he had been to the hospital on friday and he was like hey and i was like i couldn't even talk i was just like you and he was just like i'm available uh friday night friday night if you need to go to the hospital i'm i'm available and it was i was like that's very sweet like that he's scheduling his time out you know that he's not like um tuesday wednesday i'm pretty slammed but it looks like friday i do have an opening if you need to go to the hospital dada and uh the next morning ollie uh ollie was up first and so i went downstairs is this like oh that's so that's that's why you guys are the priority okay because when i get really old i'm gonna need to make sure that you you know spare your fridays to take me to that to the hospital or to the doctor and uh and give me sweet hugs so all right that is this has been your headache update episode of the bumper podcast i hope it didn't give you a headache aha a waka a waka waka uh but anyway thank you so much for listening have a great day watch out for the snow and you know as always you gots to do it

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February 9, 2018