Category: Bumperpodcast

So here I sit. In my castle. Whiling my time away. I can get a mite bored – so I talk to my dog – but he usually doesn’t have much to say. So now I talk to a mic – because that’s less crazy – and it’s easy to convince myself that I am just procrastinating . . . and not being lazy. So – thanks for the listen – you get a gold star. Hopefully you will enjoy what you hear. Hardy-har-har-har.

  • Bumperpodcast #14 – Spooky Scary

    Bumperpodcast #14 – Spooky Scary

    Spooky Scary!

    I’m probably not afraid – But Maybe you should make sure to listen to this Bumperpodcast in a well lit room – during the day – surrounded by loved ones – because otherwise you may get a bit twitchy and itchy and nervous.

    It’s our Bumperpodcast October frightener. Hold onto your tour guide!

    Boo!

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    About This Episode

    In this spooky October episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares a chilling ghost story from his former house in Decatur, Georgia. Natty recounts the mysterious appearance of messages scratched into his bedroom door and wood paneling, including the eerie warning "stay out my room" signed by someone named Lachisha, and the cryptic phrase "Bobby Brown is in the house." The terrifying tale leaves Natty so frightened that he pleads with listeners to come over for a sleepover. This short Halloween-themed episode blends Natty's signature storytelling style with supernatural comedy and nostalgic references.

    Memorable Quotes

    “scratched into the door is scrawled into the door it was a message stay out my room well that was my room at this point so i was horrified”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “on that wood paneling it said this message which was moderately less terrifying than stay out my room it was bobby brown is in the house”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “i'm all a shiver i'm all a quiver i'm all a quaking i don't know if i'll be able to sleep tonight”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #halloween #ghoststories #hauntedhouse #georgia #bobbybrown #spookytales #october

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: what did i promise you guys a couple of weeks ago i promised you that it was about to be ghost story time and since it's october i think now is a good time did you guys ever go to my house the one in georgia the one in decatur georgia well i lived there and so i have a tale to tell i used to when people came by the house give them the tour give them the nickel tour where they would give me a nickel and i would give them the tour and sometimes things would happen here is one of those things after this some people had a hard time staying in my house and i've been told through other people because the original people aren't talking to me anymore that it had nothing to do with me or the fact that at a party i made avocado dip guacamole dip we'll call it with bacon here's the story about the ghost one night i was walking around my house and the bedroom door was slightly ajar there was nothing there a few nights later i walked by that same door and what did i see scratched into the door is scrawled into the door it was a message stay out my room well that was my room at this point so i was horrified where did this come from it wasn't there before i you know i ran in i grabbed uh i grabbed my roommate little bird i said look at this and by the time i had done that in pink lettering lachisha who was this lachisha why was she telling me to stay out her room it was my room i bought the what i was party and parcel of buying the house and and it was terrifying and then i went upstairs where we had a wood panel and on that wood paneling it said this message which was moderately less terrifying than stay out my room it was bobby brown is in the house now i don't know about you bumper podcast but i'm all a shiver i'm all a quiver i'm all a quaking i don't know if i'll be able to sleep tonight what does anybody out there want to come i let's have a sleepover a slumber party because i am afraid of the ghosts

  • Bumperpodcast #13 – Apologetic & Apoplectic

    Bumperpodcast #13 – Apologetic & Apoplectic

    We get into some moderadelty hot waters with listeners – after some ill advised money grubbing schemes are brought to light.

    Apologetic and Apopleptic.

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    About This Episode

    In episode 13 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar addresses a major crisis after last week's episode apparently crossed some serious lines. His lawyer, Mott the Sheep, has informed him that asking listeners for credit card information was completely inappropriate, and now Natty is in full damage control mode. Angry emails written in ALL CAPS have been flooding in from furious listeners who thought they were just being pals with the show. A flustered and apologetic Natty attempts to walk back his requests for credit cards and lakefront property schemes, admitting he didn't understand he was breaking the law. This hilarious episode captures Natty's innocent confusion about basic legal boundaries and his earnest attempts to make things right.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I thought we were all being pals I thought we were gonna get on the ground floor and all of those dreams have gone kapoofing”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “According to my lawyer Mott the Sheep that was totally and completely inappropriate”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Something that I also that I was I just learned this week is when people type in capitals that means that they're yelling”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #apology #creditcards #legaltroubles #crisismanagement #scams #misunderstandings #comedy

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: it has been brought to the bumper podcast's attention i am the bumper podcast well i mean i've you know natty bumper car but this is my bumper podcast that last week maybe we crossed some lines maybe we started asking people for money maybe we started asking for credit cards to be sent to us or credit card information and evidently according to my lawyer mott the sheep that was totally and completely inappropriate so what i'd like for us all to do is back up off the ledge calm down a little bit and don't send me your credit card information i didn't know that i was doing something terribly wrong but mott thankfully has my back and he says that we what we are in right now is crisis mode we're at code because things have gotten that bad people are people are emailing me furious they're writing things in all capital letters capital capital capital capital capital capital capital and they're they're evidently something that i also that i was i just learned this week is when people type in capitals that means that they're yelling it's if if i could yell at you through this email i'd be doing it in capital letters and so sir who asks me for my do you know that i feed my family with this credit card do you know that i put vacations on this credit card and sometimes the occasional uh dry goods i don't know you know beans um rice uh whole i don't uh granola mate i don't know if that's a granola like these things are the things that i put on my credit card not sir some sort of lakefront property where someone's gonna be staring at sheep uh goats on a mountain no sir i say well i again you can tell i'm bristled i am i am uh i am apologizing and i am apoplectic at myself for not knowing the lay of the land for not knowing the law the lay of the law the lay of the land the law of the law i didn't know i thought we were all being pals i thought we were gonna get on the ground floor and all of those dreams have gone kapoofing

    Unknown: you

  • Bumperpodcast #12 – Inventions

    Bumperpodcast #12 – Inventions

    Ooh! It’s invention time . . . But – do we actually ever get to talk about the inventions?!

    Listen to find out.

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    About This Episode

    In episode 12 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar excitedly announces plans to share groundbreaking invention ideas with listeners, promising to get them in on the ground floor of these opportunities. The episode takes a humorous turn as Natty gets sidetracked discussing the frustrations of buying too many hot dog and hamburger buns for barbecues, pondering the impracticality of grilled cheese on hot dog buns. The conversation meanders further into discussion of investment properties near a lake and mountain where goats frolic, which apparently helps Natty think better and develop inventions. Despite promising to reveal these amazing inventions, Natty never actually describes any of them, instead focusing on requesting listeners' credit card information and praising their productive "blue sky-in" and "spitball-in" session.

    Memorable Quotes

    “What are you going to do with a hot dog bun if you're not eating a hot dog on it? You can't do anything with it, is what I'm telling you.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “There's goats who live on the mountain. They like to watch the goats frolic. They'll start at the bottom of the mountain. And then they'll frolic up the mountain.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I mean, it can only get better from here, right?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #inventions #businessideas #barbecue #rambling #investment #comedy #picnics #entrepreneurship

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hello there bumper podcast how do you do today pretty well i'm hoping well you should be well because today we here these papers are gonna do what we were gonna do last week i'm gonna tell you about some inventions i'm gonna get you guys in on the ground floor these are opportunities that you cannot miss out on because i'm well because i'm because i'm gonna tell you about them but what i'm saying is you're gonna know about them before anybody knows about them so let's talk about number one right here you're gonna go to a picnic maybe you pick you have a barbecue grill at your house that you like to barbecue on and you're sent out to the store go get some buns okay well we're eating hot dogs and hamburgers i but i don't want two packages of buns i don't it's too many buns and they're gonna go bad And, you know, what are you going to do with a hot dog bun if you're not eating a hot dog on it? You can't do anything with it, is what I'm telling you. You can't have a grilled cheese on a hot dog. Well, I guess you could. I wouldn't recommend it. Cheese could be everywhere. So what I'm going to be selling to you… No, wait. I'm not selling you anything. I feel… Okay. That's my fault. We're not selling things. Getting you in on the ground floor here. What I'm doing is just telling you about things. But if you… I mean, at the end of the episode, if you want to email me your credit card information, then that would be fine. And, you know, we were looking at some investment property at the lake. There's a mountain. We're looking at some investment properties where there's a lake. And there's a mountain near it. And there's goats who live on the mountain. And, you know… They like to watch the goats frolic. They'll start at the bottom of the mountain. And then they'll frolic up the mountain. And then they'll go to sleep in the sun. And… So it's not even just the lake that's making me want to go to this place and get this house. This investment property for the business. No. Well, yes. It is. And it's because I do better thinking there. And then I can come up with better inventions to bring your way to get you in what we're doing right now. We're spreading the wealth. So don't forget. What I need you to do is send me your credit card information. BumperPodcast at NattyBumperCar.com And really, I think with what we've talked about today, I think we're on the same page. You know, we did a little blue sky-in. A little spitball-in. And, uh… Wow. I mean, it can only get better from here, right?

  • Bumperpodcast #11 – Off the Rails

    Bumperpodcast #11 – Off the Rails

    Not only were we off the rails in this episode – but – to my knowledge – I’m honestly not even sure if rails were even seen at any point.

    Better luck next time?!

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    About This Episode

    In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is completely exhausted from life with his new "roommate" – his code word for his new baby. Natty struggles through the episode, rambling about accidentally having a metronome on during recording and trying to stay coherent despite severe sleep deprivation. He mentions he had planned to talk about world-changing inventions, but his bone-deep exhaustion derails those plans. Between references to dust having dust and his bone marrow being tired, Natty delivers a relatable and funny take on new parenthood while trying to maintain his hosting duties.

    Memorable Quotes

    “My bone marrow was tired, the crust on my eyes has crust, the dust on my dust has dust. I don't know what that even means, I just know I'm so sleepy all the time.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I have a code word for my baby, it's that he's my roommate and I didn't know if I was being explicit enough.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #parenting #sleepdeprivation #newbaby #exhaustion #podcasthosting #improvisation

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: can i can i tell you guys wait i think i was normally when you can i you say like can i get a witness wait i have the metronome on man i'm dying here one second please all right i'm back now for you that was no time at all but for me there was i had to find metronome and turn it off because what i was hearing in my my ear was my babbling the music and so i was keeping i was i was i was babbling to a four four time and well we are off the rails today uh and i and i have to tell you why and i'm not blaming it on anyone but it's my new roommate you and he uh he i talked about him last week it's very exciting it was it still is it's tremendously exciting stuff uh he doesn't like i mean he doesn't like to sleep and uh i i can't sleep because i'm constantly um is the new roommate breathing what's the new roommate doing over there at 4 a.m when he he's gurgling he's making some funny noises let's go see what he's doing sleep no who needs to sleep sleep is for the week and for the people who don't have uh roommates i have a code word for my baby it's that he's my roommate and i didn't know if i was being explicit enough but i needed you to know i was supposed to this week talk about things i had topics i i i'd been i've been inventing things that i think are going to change the world that we live in today to make it a better place not one of those inventions that uh a slippery slope that takes us to badville bad time bad bad hold on bad sylvania that's what i was trying to say but my my uh my my lips kind of went oh i I gotta let you guys know the baby we had a code word my roommate he's awesome he's great i just have to figure out how to sleep again because my i was my bone marrow was tired the crust on my eyes has crust the dust on my dust has dust i don't know what that even means i just know i'm so sleepy all the time and i don't want to bring that to the bumper podcast so i shan't well maybe i shan i don't know we're gonna try to shan not but we might shan yes so it could shan either way and i just need to know i just need to make sure that you kids are with me solidarity

    Unknown: i'll keep on to the Wolverine see my childhood hi oh hi hi hey hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

  • Bumperpodcast #10

    Bumperpodcast #10

    A baby is born . . . and sometimes he makes some noises – I try to figure out some of the noises.

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    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar announces exciting news that's been spreading through all communication channels: there's a baby! After encouraging the studio audience to clap loudly enough, Natty brings out the baby who promptly begins crying. The episode features Natty's humorous observations about the constantly crying newborn, including jokes about the baby's New York origins affecting his sounds ("gaga goo goo") versus Natty's Southern baby babble. Throughout the segment, Natty attempts to soothe the dancing, crying baby while reflecting on the challenges and sweetness of caring for an adorable but vocal infant. The episode ends with Natty trying to get the baby to sleep.

    Memorable Quotes

    “he was born in new york so he's like gaga goo goo hey you know because that's what he sounds like”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “as long as he's doing his baby dance crying his baby dance crying i think that everything's going to work out for the world”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #babies #parenting #crying #newyork #regionalhumor #infantcare #comedy

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: bumper podcast news this is news this is news you don't know or maybe you know it's been all over the emails it's been all over the texts it's been all over the cell phones and the landlines and snail mail there's a baby that's right there's a baby you guys want to meet him i bet we could if if you clap loud enough we can bring him out let's hear it yeah that's a good clap a good cheer for the studio audience here at the bumper podcast let's bring that baby out everybody let's see what he has to say oh nice music baby coming out oh oh no oh you guys the baby cries he cries all the time how do i mean he's really cute he's adorable he's so sweet but yeah you see he cries a lot and it's sad when he cries a lot because you don't know what to do for him because he's just a teeny tiny little baby you know what let's let's drop the music and then yeah we can have just a a nice little crying baby in the background just to let us all just put us all in the same mindset right and that's a lot of crying let's put a little bit of music in the background a little there a little more dancing dancing baby crying dancing baby crying dancing baby crying yeah okay i got it okay so he doesn't only cry i've heard him make other noises before he uh at one point he was like gaga goo goo or you know like gaga gaga goo goo because he's he was born in new york so he's like gaga goo goo hey you know because that's what he sounds like uh when i was a baby i was born in the south and so i was like gaga wait i was like gaga goo goo no that doesn't sound like it but he i don't know what i sounded like i was like and he's like oh like i don't even he doesn't sound like that either he sounds you know a lot more let's be honest like you know like this and holy beans is that depressing but it's you know it's fine that's the noise he has he's got little lungs he's got to work them out he's gotta do a little bit of work in that and as long as he's doing his baby dance crying his baby dance crying i think that everything's going to work out for the world so Baby, you should go to sleep. It's time to go to sleep. Alright, I am the Bumper Podcast. You guys are great, but I have a baby, and he is even greater.