Ants 69

[update #25]

Have I told you about where I work lately?! I’m not sure that I have . . . so – here is a nice and quick description – before I even get in to the particular particulars of what I really want to tell you – right at this second.

I work in a petting zoo for penguins – where we are forced to wear tuxedos in order to maintain the “classiness” of the joint. It is a ridiculous place where everyone takes themselves waaaaaaay too seriously. I mean – the other day – and I am absolutely not going to give out names (but you know exactly who you are) – this one guy – who happens to have one of the upper-echelon-top-shelf type of managerial jobs started taking his part in the whole pageant a bit too far . . . Oh – I got ahead of myself there – the managers wear polar bear costumes – and chase all of the rest of us around during the big closing show that goes on before each group is escorted back to their busses . . . back to their dismal suburbia – where there are no penguins to pet – and no polar bear managers chasing people around (the brute actually knocked me down and kept his paw on my head – in a puddle – the other day – ugh).

So that is where I work (currently).

Recently we moved the whole show into a new and exciting building – actually pretty close to the old building – and actually actually into a building that isn’t even quite finished . . . but that is neither here – nor – there. The point is that there are all of these odd automated systems that do things for you. The elevator has no buttons on the inside – only on the outside (so don’t even think of changing where you want to go mid-trip), the blinds on the windows open and close all by themselves, toilets flush by themselves and sinks come on by themselves (if they feel like acknowledging that you are there) and for the topper – there isn’t any drinking water. Basically how the whole thing has turned out is that I have penguins that are stuck on elevators – who aren’t washing their flippers after “skipping to the loo” – that are totally worshiping whatever magic penguin deity that they have decided is responsible for the blinds going up and down by themselves – and who I constantly have to make sure have bottles of water to quench their thirst little penguin thirst.It is a big jumble of yarn (not unlike most aspects of my current life) . . . and don’t even get me started on the polar bears . . .

Ants 68

Friday Photo [#17]

[update #24]

Couple of quick quick quickies . . . that are coming in at the end of the day . . . and that are both center around the loo.

Thing (of the first):

I walked into a bathroom the other day – at a place – and there was a guy standing there. As soon as I walked in – he yelled “Yo! Come on chicken. We got(s) to go . . .” at one of the stalls.I froze in my tracks – obviously not prepared for the situation that I had stumbled into.

Then a squeaky/crackled voice (that of “chicken” I am to presume) came from the stall . . . “Yo . . . man . . . I’ll be there in a minute.”

I pulled an abrupt about face and scampered into the hall – with all my unfinished business.

Thing (of the second):

I had never had this happen to me . . . but there I was in the restroom – in another place – at the urinal that is usually considered the one for the younger gentlemen of the world. For a bit of clarification – this story is in no way creepy – at all – in the men’s lavoratory – there tends to be one urinal that is lower to the ground . . . it is usually the first one in . . . and in this case it was the only one open – and I was there. Anyway – what ended up happening – was that this kid had to wait to get to that urinal – and I thought it was hilarious that there were all of these open urinals that he just had to stare at – because he was too short – or something . . . Okay – evidently – not hilarious “ha-ha” in any sense of the meaning of either word – but most definitely a situation that leans more towards the whole hilarious “weird” end of the spectrum.On another look – I have decided to omit “hilarious” from the above sentence – and just leave the whole thing as a bit of nothing . . . until you read a tad further . . .

To dissect why I thought that hilarious could be there at all . . . goes like this – the kid had a look of pure frustration on his face when I walked by that clearly said “Seriously . . . You had to use that one?! Which was clearly designed for me . . . couldn’t wait for one of the others?? You old and tall people are the total lamertons . . . and I’m sick of this whole too tall world that I live in . . . next time – I bring the moon shoes – chicken.”

Kids (the look on their faces – at least) say the darnedest of things – they are crazy – and and and – so are chickens.

I’ve said too much.