So, I am on a bit of a kick to clean up the house . . . One bit of ridiculous at a time. While doing that . . . I figured that I can also help out the world a tiny bit by offering up reviews of some of the fun stuff that I – sometimes to my chagrin – have ended up buying. Today I’m going to blab about mouthwash. Next week – who knows . . . it could be almost anything. I really do have a lot to get rid of.

I tend to walk through stores and quickly gravitate towards displays of new products – or – variations of products that I already have strong opinions (both good and bad) of. One day – I came across a shelf of Listerine Whitening Pre-Brush Rinse. It was in the flavor of “Clean Mint.” It was different from the other mouthwashes, in that, it was in an opaque white bottle. I was definitely interested.

I had never bought any kind of “Whitening” product – but this one was – as I already mentioned – in a white bottle. It had mystery! And a cursory glance at the ingredients informed me that it also had hydrogen peroxide as an ingredient . . . I had to try it.

So – years ago – it came home, was used a few times and was soon replaced by the old standby (Listerine “Vanilla Mint”). I didn’t think much of it . . . It was clear out of the bottle, had a taste like a cough drop and bubbled and fizzed. So what?!

Wait. What? It bubbled and fizzed?

Yes.

Then why was it just pushed to the back of the mouthwash line?

I’m not really sure . . . the only thing that I can think of is that it is better used on every fourth mouthwash – and not every time . . . I mean – who wants bubbles every day?!

I do.

Fine. Here is the odd thing. I was kind of dismissive of the whole experience . . . but – I have carried the bottle around for years. Through three different moves it has made the trip. It was even in a storage facility for awhile. I think I may have enjoyed it more than I’m admitting . . . I had to test it out again to see what was going on.

I went to my little corner of unused items, rooted around for a second and picked it up. There was a fair amount of dust on the bottle. Yes, there was dust on the bottle. I then moved to the bathroom sink, opened the bottle, looked inside to make sure nothing was growing, and poured some out. The whole sink started to fizzle! I then poured some onto a splinter that was in my thumb – and it started to fizzle as well! I was really getting excited about this.

I took a meager swig and started to do that whole mouthwash thing that people do. According to the bottle, I was supposed to go for 60 seconds. The problem with that was that my mouth was filling up with the gas from the bubbles. Even with my mouth closed and my lips pursed, bubbles were starting to escape. I couldn’t keep it up . . . it had to get out of my mouth – and so I spit it all out . . . and then the sink started to bubble again.

One important point that I should make is that if you are a gargler – then this is absolutely not the product for you. There is no physical way that you will be able to keep the precocious bubbles at bay. Be content with just swishing it around. Be content with the bubbles that you’ve got.

The end result is that initially my mouth felt stupendous. It was all kinds of clean feeling and sparkly. However, now, an hour later, my mouth feels kind of dry and spent. It is almost like the initial thought that I must have had years ago . . . My mouth simply can’t handle the daily rigors of being bubbled every single day – but maybe it is a nice alternative to regular Listerine – which – like boot camp feels the need to break my mouth down in order to make it all better – or something.

And now – I’m not even sure if I can get rid of it. It just stands there in it’s white bottle proclaiming that it is the “EASY WAY TO BRIGHTEN TEETH” . . . Promising bubbles. And who am I to deny the world of my mouth that kind of fun?

If you are thinking that you want to try it out – then try to find a travel size . . . That is my best advice. Then you won’t live your life hauling a bottle of secondary mouthwash around for years to come.

Alright –  I should probably go. I have to wash all of the dust off the bottle . . . Because that part really – really – does skeeve me out.