Author: natty bumpercar

  • Bumperpodcast #439 – Season 3 – Come On, Turkey

    Bumperpodcast #439 – Season 3 – Come On, Turkey

    In this uproarious episode, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and the hilariously unexpected Turkey—dive headfirst into the world of podcast management. As they engage in side-splitting conversations with a mysterious someone, listeners are treated to a delightful blend of quick-witted banter and comedic genius.

    The episode unfolds with the gang navigating the challenges of running their unconventional podcast, providing a unique behind-the-scenes peek into the hilarious happenings in Coffee-Can Alley. Whether you’re a longtime fan or a newcomer, the Bumperpodcast guarantees a comedy adventure like no other. Join Rufus, Producer, Aloysius, and Turkey in this episode that promises laughs, surprises, and an unforgettable glimpse into the whimsical world of podcast management in Coffee-Can Alley. Don’t miss the fun—hit play and let the laughter begin!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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    Bumperpodcast Turkey Episode Cover
    Transcription

    Aloysius J. Pig 0:04
    Yeah, so everybody is gonna come on in, watch your step. Try not to knock anything over. You. Come on in, come on in, come on in. We’ll get we can get more there’s more room in here in the studio. And we can look around a little bit.

    Rufus T. Rufus 0:18
    Now,

    everybody Aloysius J pig here, he’s given us a tour, and

    I Rufus T roof isn’t just here, you know, just as for more managerial perspective, and I just kinda, you know, just want to make things go smoothly as we move into this next phase of our project. Yes. And just make sure you avoid the wires. There’s a lot of wires everywhere, but you can see the part that stood here in the things the plugs in everything’s just, you know, just what we were saying. Just be very careful as you come into this space, this studio here, where we do make the recordings for the band

    Turkey, I admit it, but you do have a good point. Yeah, yeah, he

    Aloysius J. Pig 1:12
    does have a good point, you know, with the bumper podcast thing that we’re kind of moving on from that against, but for right now, it’s fine. You know, it doesn’t confuse anybody. This is a studio where we record a bumper podcast, we’re recording a podcast and we’re just trying to figure out what we’re doing here moving forward

    Manager 1:36
    maybe be your manager.

    Rufus T. Rufus 1:39
    Now hold on one second. Because I’m, I mean, I’m the lawyer but I’m also the manager of the podcast and the whole the whole headquarters here. Just

    Aloysius J. Pig 1:50
    let him Let him talk. Alright, this Hold on

    Rufus T. Rufus 2:03
    No, apologies. You just started to be over here, I suppose taking notes and making sure everything stays above the board and that nothing is going to impact the bottom line. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, I

    Aloysius J. Pig 2:17
    think everybody knows what you’re saying. All right. So back to the matter at hand. So this is the studio we used to record a bumper podcast here. I’m Aloysius jpg gets full press T Rufus over there is produced and obviously missing from the equation. He’s Natty Bumpercar We haven’t seen him in a long time. So that’s why we’ve reached out to you

    Manager 2:41
    because it’s nice to meet you. I’m glad that you called me and I’m looking around here and I can see

    Aloysius J. Pig 2:52
    all right that I mean that sounds good and a lot a lot of stuff we can do as soon as we can. I mean that makes sense to me. We want to get me well we do when we get started as soon as possible because we’ve been kind of languishing I think is the proper time

    Rufus T. Rufus 3:13
    again, Turkey is seeing things from a perspective that I feel like none of us even consider it well said Turkana Aloysius What do you think about that? That that that point there that took it just me When

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:28
    did you intend to become such good pals? This is a nice relationship friendship, whatever, that I had no idea. Yeah, Turkey yet. That does make sense. We don’t want to just like trash everything. Throw everything away. Maybe we can get some storage boxes, we can put things you know, I think there’s probably some room over in the shed.

    Producer 3:48
    Which which shed are we talking about? Are we talking about the the big shade or the or the Play Stick shade? Or this is a lot of shade around? You know,

    Rufus T. Rufus 3:58
    I mean, it could be you’re seeing the blue shed that’s out back? It could be the green shed, it’s out front?

    Producer 4:07
    I mean,

    Rufus T. Rufus 4:08
    I don’t understand what natty was doing. How do you collect shapes like it sheds is something that you’re going to store stuff in? So why would you just keep getting more and more sheds like we it looks if I look around at corners up there. It looks like we’re like a Mr. Shit like we’re gonna be selling shit at some point. You know? Like, come on down to guess bumper cars crazy shit Emporium. Where you can buy the best stop pointing

    Manager 4:49
    gonna stick around we’re not gonna do bird we’re not gonna do none of those. Well,

    Aloysius J. Pig 4:58
    no. Okay, well gonna know tangents that’s Wow, that is gonna be quite different because normally this show exists to just just to tangent like so like we look like instead of a road like uncooked spaghetti which is straight, we look like a bowl of spaghetti all twisted and mixed up and all around the dike that’s kind of you guys think of pasta for lunch? Maybe? Yeah,

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:29
    I could certainly go over some pasta. You know, this weekend, we got a big game. And so I want to Cabo row.

    Producer 5:37
    Right, exactly. She’s kind of loud. What do you what is he talking about?

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:45
    Turkey, you know, so? Yeah.

    So listen, so what we do before the big game, is we eat a lot of carbohydrates, because it makes it better have more energy mix was much more, you know, just more of a spark, you know, it gives us a good bit of fuel for when we can go out on the field and, you know, make moves and do what we do whatever them. So that’s what is carbo loading.

    And then you’re ready to go. Yeah.

    Aloysius J. Pig 6:18
    So I think producing is a little confused. What exactly is this big game that you’re playing? And who is playing in it? And what where is it? I don’t know. Just explain a little bit this this whole game thing that you’re talking about?

    Producer 6:37
    No, no, we didn’t get the email, I guess. I guess, maybe just you and the roof is we’re talking about these intramural sports that you’re doing between different podcasts. And I said, and I checked my email all the time. And I said, I’m looking now there’s no mercy from you. 30. I’m looking in my spam. Sorry, Emily. She’s looking out through everything and they don’t see any messages from any of you.

    Manager 7:12
    Red Line over there on the red line. Even me

    Aloysius J. Pig 7:15
    not a red light this mean check Tia, I think it means that the power is on. And I still with that? I

    Producer 7:22
    think that we’re recording I would think yes, yes, the red light. It doesn’t mean the powder is on it just means that we are recording the things that are transpiring here in the studio

    Manager 7:39
    recording on the podcast, everything you

    Rufus T. Rufus 7:48
    know, we got to do here is anytime anybody really goes into the studio, we start recording and the light The light is read over the you know, and that just means that we are recording the podcast and or recording something that you know, I guess well

    Aloysius J. Pig 8:12
    is we have a difficult time of keeping to a schedule. And you know, these people out there in the world, they want to live there, like hey, we want to know the day and the time that your pod gates is going to come out every single week and we don’t have that capability. And so what we do, a lot of the time is if we’re gonna have a conversation, it’s like hold on, let’s just go talk into studio producer came you know, turn on record and then bang, bang, boom, we got another podcast

    Manager 8:49
    this is going to be a podcast I don’t even know what kind of a situation I’ve gotten myself into. was gonna come in a few walls. And then be with

    Rufus T. Rufus 9:08
    I mean, I thought we were just hanging out lollygag and a bit just, you know, just talking to talk a little pod cast, team to podcast, Matt and Mr. We’re gonna knock down walls. I don’t doesn’t make no sense to me. Where’s the budget for that?

    Producer 9:30
    Yes. So ever reaches the budget is we don’t have any money right now. But what we started thinking about was doing some sort of fundraisers, or the podcast, you know, like, I think we were thinking of maybe doing a car wash,

    Aloysius J. Pig 9:47
    I will not be washing cars. Do you get me for no sir. I will not be doing that. Duly noted.

    Producer 9:56
    Then we were also thinking you No going around and sending cookies didn’t even like boxes of cookies, people love cookies.

    Rufus T. Rufus 10:08
    I do think to be honest, I love cookies and all that. And I think everyone here understands the legal ramifications. So the girls that don’t go around and they sell the cookies every year and we can’t begin that that tour tour is taken, we can’t jump in there, we’re gonna they’re very tough group we’re not gonna I don’t not want to tussle with looking at cookie girls. So I think that’s not a good idea either.

    Aloysius J. Pig 10:36
    I don’t want to fit. This is an EN tz no tassel endzone. Also, this is an I’m starvin zone because earlier we’re talking about pasta. And then now we’re talking about cookies all of a sudden, so it’s just like that sounds like an entree and a dessert to me, which is a meal and kind of where my mind is now I’ve kind of given up on this whole room thing this is this podcast managed to help or whatever and I think we should probably break for lunch or whatever what time is it whatever it was so whatever meal people eat at at 330 I don’t know

    Manager 11:28
    talk about you guys are just gonna go to 330 meals.

    Rufus T. Rufus 11:36
    I’m not concerned about what the meal is. But I don’t know if everybody else is here.

    I always don’t like to detract from people who are here especially people who are trying to help us but you’ll your voice is grading it. It’s I don’t know what it is about it. But I do feel like Allah which is if we’re gonna start having people on the show. Let’s talk to him a little bit before we come in the studio. We can tell producer like hey, do not record this. This is not gonna sound good, be pleasing to people

    Manager 12:16
    and you ain’t even one being I got a podcast and you want to stay

    Aloysius J. Pig 12:27
    turnkey come on

    Outro 12:42
    the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig and Rufus T. Rufus give a tour of their studio to potential new manager Doodle Poodle. With host Natty Bumpercar still missing, the crew discusses the future of the podcast while navigating cluttered wires, multiple storage sheds, and Turkey's confusing interjections. Doodle Poodle quickly becomes frustrated with the show's tangent-heavy format and questions why they're even recording. The conversation spirals through topics like carbo-loading for mysterious sports games, cookie fundraisers, and whether 3:30 is an appropriate meal time. Rufus eventually admits that Doodle Poodle's grating voice might not be suitable for podcasting, leading to an awkward confrontation.

    Memorable Quotes

    “When I take over as the manager of this podcast, we can't do all this talking like this. We're going to have a topic. We're going to have maybe a gift or two. We're going to stick to it. We're not going to diverge.”

    — Doodle Poodle

    “We look like, instead of a road, like uncooked spaghetti, which is straight, we look like a bowl of spaghetti. Spaghetti all twisted and mixed up and all around me.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “Your voice is so loud. I don't know what it is about it, but I do feel like we should talk to people before we come in the studio so we can tell producer, do not record this.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    Topics: #podcastmanagement #studiotour #food #tangents #missinghost #friendshipconflicts #fundraising

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Turkey, Doodle Poodle, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: yeah so everybody just come on in watch your step try not to knock anything over come on in come on in come on in uh we can get more there's more room in here in uh the studio and then we can look around a little bit yeah now uh so everybody

    Rufus T. Rufus: al oish is jay pig here he's giving us a tour and uh i rufus t rufus i'm just here you know just as from a more managerial uh perspective and i just kind of you know just want to make things go smoothly as we move into this uh next phase of our project yes and so just

    Turkey: make sure you avoid the wires there's a lot of wires everywhere but you know because he the studio and the things the plugs and everything so just you know i just what we were saying just be very careful as you come into the space the studio here where we do make the recordings for the

    Rufus T. Rufus: bumper podcast yeah turkey i hate to admit it but you do have a good point there yeah yeah he does

    Aloysious J. Pig: have a good point you know with the bumper podcast thing that we're kind of moving on from that i guess but for right now it's fine you know it doesn't confuse anybody this is a studio you where we record the bumper podcast recording the podcast you know we're just trying to figure out

    Doodle Poodle: what we're doing here moving forward yep yep yep well don't you mind me i'm on my way around the podcast studio you know that's why you guys called me in to maybe be your manager

    Rufus T. Rufus: well now hold on one second there because i'm i mean i'm the lawyer but i'm i'm also the manager of the podcast and the whole the whole uh headquarters here rufus just let him let

    Aloysious J. Pig: Let him talk, all right? Just hold on. Do I need to leave? Everything's going to be all right, all right?

    Doodle Poodle: Okay, because I can just go. If you guys don't know what you're doing, then I can just head on out right now. I don't mind doing it now.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I'll apologize. I'll just be over here, I suppose, taking notes and making sure everything stays above the board and that nothing is going to impact the bottom line. You know what I'm saying?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, I think everybody knows what you're saying. All right, so back to the matter at hand. So this is the studio. We used to record the Bumper Podcast here. I'm Aloysius J. Pig. That's Rufus T. Rufus over there as producer. And obviously, missing from the equation, he's Natty Bumpercar. We haven't seen him in a long time. So that's why we reached out to you.

    Doodle Poodle: Well, all I know is it's nice to meet you, and I'm glad that you called me. And I'm just looking around this room here, and I can see a lot of improvements that we can make as soon as possible.

    Aloysious J. Pig: All right, I mean, that sounds good. A lot of stuff we can do as soon as we can. I mean, that makes sense to me. I mean, we do want to get started as soon as possible, because we've been kind of languishing, I think is the proper term.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, again, Turkey is seeing things from a perspective that I feel like none of us are even considering. Well said, Turkey. Now, Aloysius, what do you think about that point there that Turkey just made?

    Aloysious J. Pig: When did you and Turkey become such good pals? This is a nice relationship, friendship, whatever, that I had no idea. Yeah, Turkey, yeah, that does make sense. We don't want to just, like, trash everything, throw everything away. Maybe we could get some storage boxes. We could put things, you know, I think there's probably some room over in the shed.

    Turkey: Now, which shed are we talking about? Are we talking about? The big shed, or the plastic shed, or there's a lot of sheds around, you know?

    Rufus T. Rufus: I mean, it could be, like you're saying, the blue shed that's out back. It could be the green shed that's out front. I mean, I don't understand what Natty was doing. How do you collect sheds? Like, sheds are something that you're going to store stuff in, so why would you just keep getting more and more sheds? It's like, it looks… If I look around headquarters out there, it looks like we're, like, a Mr. Shed. Like, we're going to be selling sheds at some point, you know? Like, come on down to, I guess, Bumper Car's Crazy Shed Emporium, where you can buy the best…

    Doodle Poodle: No, hold on a second. You've got to stop talking.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Point taken, point taken.

    Doodle Poodle: Yeah, because when I take over as the manager of this podcast, we can't do all this talking like this, okay? We're going to have a topic. We're going to have maybe a gift or two. And we're going to… Stick to it, all right? We're not going to diverge. We're not going to have tangents. We're not going to do none of that stuff, okay?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, no… Okay. We're going to… No tangents? That's… Wow. That is going to be quite the difference, because normally this show exists just to tangent. Like, we look like, instead of a road, like uncooked spaghetti, which is straight, we look like a bowl of spaghetti. Spaghetti all twisted and mixed up and all around me. Like, that's kind of… Oh. You guys thinking of pasta for lunch, maybe?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, I could certainly go for some pasta. You know, this weekend we've got a big game, and so I want a carbo-road.

    Turkey: Not exactly. It's just carbo-road. What is he talking about?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, turkey and turkey, you know. So, listen. So, what we… What we do before the big game is we eat a lot of carbohydrates, because it makes our body have more energy. It makes us have much more, you know, just more of a spark. You know, it gives us a good bit of fuel for when we can go out on the field and, you know, make our moves and do what we do and everything. So, that's just carbo-loading. You eat a lot of pasta, and then you're ready to go.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. So, I think… Producer and I are a little confused. What exactly is this big game that you're playing, and who is playing in it, and what… Where is it being… I don't know. Just explain a little bit this whole game thing that you're talking about.

    Doodle Poodle: Huh. No.

    Turkey: Yeah, no. We didn't get the email, I guess. I guess maybe just you and Rufus were talking about these intramural sports that you're doing between different podcasts, and I said, and I checked my email. All the time, and I said, I'm looking now. There's no message from you, Turkey. I'm looking in my spam. Sorry, Aloysius. I'm looking all through everything, and I don't see any messages from any of you.

    Doodle Poodle: Okay, so I just need all of y'all to stop talking, because here's what's happening. You're wasting my time, and why is that red light over there on? What does that red light even mean?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Ah, the red light just means that the, uh, I think it means that the power is on. And that, I guess, I think that we're recording, I would think.

    Turkey: Yes, yes. The red light, it doesn't mean the power is on. It just means that, uh, we are recording, uh, the things that are transpiring here in the, um, uh, studio.

    Doodle Poodle: Well, I don't understand even one thing. Why would you be recording this? You can't put this out. This isn't a podcast. You're just wasting power and wasting everything. You're wasting my time, and you're wasting your time. No.

    Rufus T. Rufus: See it? What we kind of do here is, uh, anytime anybody really goes into the studio, we start recording, and the light, the light is red over there, you know, and that just means that, uh, that we are recording the podcast, and, uh, we're recording something, you know, I guess.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, here's the thing, is we have a difficult time of keeping to a schedule, and, uh, you know, these people out there in the world, they want to live their life. Hey, we want to know the day and the time that your podcast is going to come out every single week, and we don't have that capability. And so what we do a lot of the time is, if we're going to have a conversation, uh, it's like, hold on, let's just go talk in the studio, producer can, you know, turn on record, and then, bing, bang, boom, we got another podcast.

    Doodle Poodle: So you're telling me that this is going to be a podcast? Yes, or this, that doesn't make any sense, this is just, I don't even know what kind of a situation I've gotten myself into. I thought I was going to come in here, knock down a few walls, put up a new sign, and then be ready to go, but that does not seem to be what we're doing here.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I don't, I, I mean, I thought we were just here hanging out, just lollygagging a bit, just, uh, you know, just talking the talk, a little podcaster team. Wait, a podcaster, ma, mister, uh, wait, I didn't, we're gonna knock down walls, I don't, that doesn't make no sense to me, I, where's the budget for that?

    Turkey: Yes, so, uh, Aloysius, the budget is, uh, we don't have any money right now, but what we started thinking about was doing some sort of fundraisers for the podcast, you know, like, uh, I think we were thinking of maybe doing a car wash? I.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Will. Not. A. Mission. Cause. Do you get me, producer? I will not be doing that.

    Turkey: Duly noted. Um, then we were also thinking of, you know, uh, uh, going around and selling, uh, cookies to people, like boxes of cookies, people love boxes of cookies.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, I, I, I do think that the, I, I love cookies, I know that, and I, I think everyone here, uh, understands, uh, the legal ramifications, uh, the, the, the, the, the girls, they don't go around and they sell the cookies every year, and then we can't, we can't, that, that tour-a-tour is taken. We can't jump in there, we're gonna, they're a very tough group, we're not gonna, I don't not wanna tussle with the cookie, cookie girls, so, uh, I think that's not a good idea either.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, I don't wanna, this is an NTZ, uh, no tussling zone. Also, this is a, an I'm starving zone, because earlier we was talking about pasta, and then now we're talking about cookies. We're talking about cookies all of a sudden, so it's just like, that sounds like an entree and a dessert to me, which is a meal, and, uh, kind of where my mind is now, I've kind of given up on this whole, uh, room thing, this, this, this, this podcast manager help or whatever, and, uh, I think we should probably, uh, break for, for lunch, or whatever, what time is it? It's like three, three thirty? Okay, whatever, whatever. Three thirty? Yeah. So, what time do you think, uh, what time do you think we should, uh, what time do you think we should, uh, what time do you think we should, uh, what time should meal people eat at, at, at three thirty? I, I don't know.

    Doodle Poodle: So, are you telling me that I came all the way down here to have a meal and, you know, talk about a new podcast, and now all of a sudden you guys are just gonna go and have lunch or whatever. Three thirty meal, well. Yeah. I'm not concerned about what the meal is, but I don't know if everybody else is here. I, I always don't like to detract from people who are here, especially people who are trying to help us. But your, your voice is so loud. Oh, you're so loud. I, I'm sorry. for a 3.30 meal.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, I'm not concerned about what the meal is, but I don't know if everybody else is here. I always don't like to detract from people who are here, especially people who are trying to help us, but your voice is grating. I don't know what it is about it, but I do feel like Aloysius, if we're going to start having people on the show, let's talk to them a little bit before we come in the studio so that we can tell producer, like, hey, do not record this. This is not going to sound good. He's pleasing to people's ears.

    Doodle Poodle: I know. I've got more podcasting experience and skill and talent in my pinkie toe than you have. I'm going to all gather together. I don't appreciate what y'all are saying. I've got awards for podcasting. You understand?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Turkey, come on!

    Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash WTPS.com. www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodlepoole, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    Robot: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com

    Doodle Poodle: … …

    Unknown: … …

  • Bumperpodcast #438 – Season 3 – Dogs and Cheese

    Bumperpodcast #438 – Season 3 – Dogs and Cheese

    Welcome to Coffee Can Alley! Welcome to the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproariously silly improvised comedy.

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    Transcription

    Natty Bumpercar 0:08
    All right. Hey, how does work for the podcast like in normal life? If you’re near someone and then they yawn, then for some reason, I don’t know what you but you yawn as well. I do. I don’t know if you do. I think you do. Do you? Why is that? It’s like a yawn response. Like, why are we why are we triggered? I’m just I’m glad doesn’t happen when we sneeze, like one person sneezes, and then the whole table sneezing? That’d be terrible. But yawning, that’s weird to like, why? Anyway, I apologize. I didn’t mean to yawn. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is a bumper podcast I I had been out and about and I, you know, I’m, I’m working on the show here. Go into the different the different countries where the bumper podcast is on the charts. It’s actually we were we’ve made it to the charts. And, you know, talking to people, oh, they said, you need a theme song. Gotta go get a theme song. I was just like, ah, we okay, we’ll get a theme song. And then they’re like, you know, you got to do everybody don’t have an opinion, you know what you got to do? And I was just like, I don’t know, what’s, what am I supposed to do? And then they tell me all these things. And I, at some point, while they’re speaking, my eyes kind of glaze over. And my brain goes to another place. And if I’m to be completely honest, I don’t know what they’ve said to me. But I’m sure they’ve given me great advice. And then I feel guilty, because these people have given their time to try to tell me, you know, get to help me to tell me what to do. And then I don’t even listen. How ungrateful is that? Tremendously ungrateful? Huh? Well, else is going on. I’ve been working on the railroad, like, Oh, my live long days. But mostly, I’ve been working on the railroad, just just to pass the time away. Because I’m not busy enough. I I like to I like to I have a therapist, I was talking to my therapist about. She said, You seem overwhelmed. seem like you’re taking too much stuff on I was just like, Yeah. And she’s like, but you I know you like to do that. And you told me that, you know, as long as you’re feeling okay, then that’s okay. Are you feeling okay? And I was like, No. And so then she was like, well, then you need to take some stuff off of your plate, and stop doing as much stuff. And I was just like, Okay, that sounds good. And practice, those are good words, have no idea how to actually make that happen. And then she said, Well, your session is over, and come back in a couple of weeks. And by that time, either, you will have figured it out. Or we can work on it then, or knowing you, you’re probably gonna start three more companies and take on 16 more impossible tasks. And I was just like, all right, that sounds like a challenge. That’s your it seems like you’re saying, Can you do these things? And I’m going to tell you right now, yes, I can. I can. I can do all those things. And I’m here to tell you a bumper podcast I’ve I’ve succeeded in doing that. I am quite proud of myself. And I feel like you should be quite proud of me as well. Because I have managed to, not only not complete, not finish any projects, but I have managed to actually take more projects on. It’s very impressive. It’s my superpower. Really, if I had to, you know, figure that I have a superpower I think it’s going to be that I just continually add on to the pile it’s almost like a weighted blanket. It’s not you know, it’s like oh, the world is so nice and calm it’s not but you know, just for the sake of this relaxing the world of this world. Oh spring its spring again. It’s not Oh, look out. The weather’s beautiful and my I’ve had a nice meal again. You don’t haven’t really eaten today, but that’s my fault. There’s not any reason other than me. Okay, Oh, perfect. Everything great. Oh, Ah, you know, and then you go, you know what I’m going to do? I’m not going to take on all a lot of projects, I’m going to take on the appropriate amount of projects, which is not because life itself is a project, taking care of the kids having the job taking care of the dogs, these are all projects, making sure that the car is working properly, making sure that you know, there’s just there’s in life, there’s this massive list, it seems of things you can’t get away from. And you know, those are big responsibility. And make sure the kids brush their teeth. Did they? Do they floss their teeth? Oh, I don’t know. Look, that one’s already asleep. How do I get him to brush his teeth when he’s already asleep? So then, why in the world? Would I go and look for more things, more responsibilities to add on to the file? Now? I don’t know. I don’t know. I mean, I’m, I’m, I’m asking you a question. Because I don’t know the answer. And I wish I did. Sometimes, I think that what I do, and maybe we’ve talked about this before, I honestly don’t remember, and I apologize for that. But what I like to do is if I just keep adding more stuff on to my weighted blanket of life, then well, I don’t know what I think is gonna happen with what ends up happening is the weighted blanket gets so heavy with all the responsibilities that I can’t move. And then you know what I do? I sleep under the weighted blanket, it’s very warm. I must say. The dogs love it, because I’m not moving so they can just curl right up to me. I had no idea like, I’ve had dogs before, but I had no idea how much the dogs that they’d like to sleep. Like, that’s all they do really asleep. All right, come for podcast. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in the middle of recording a really great episode of your podcast, which I understand is not what we were doing a second ago there. But let’s say that I was recording a really good episode of the podcast. And you know, you’re just really moving and you’re talking and you’re saying things and you’re like, Yeah, this feels great. And then your kid bursts in and says, Hey, stop talking to your computer. And I’m just like, oh, that really, really boils it down, doesn’t it? That really hurts. Stop talking to your computer, dad. Ouch. Ha. Because I mean, I mean, in essence, that’s all I’m doing really is I’m talking. I mean, I’m looking at a computer. I’m talking into a microphone. And, you know, I have I have headphones on so that, you know, there’s there’s, you know, there’s a few things that are going on. But I felt like he had gotten me good enough that there was no reason for me to, to try to retort to try to try to come back. He had beaten me down as only your children can. What was I talking about? It is that’s the thing. This was yesterday. And now it’s today. And I I don’t know. I? I wasn’t ready to you know, I yesterday, I ate oatmeal for breakfast. And today, I ate grits. grits are just little tiny bits of corn. And there were some cheese in it and some pepper and a little bit of garlic salt. If I’m to be completely honest, maybe maybe some cheese, maybe maybe more cheese than I intended. But you know, that’s how cheese works. And they say how much cheese would you like on this year, like, keep going and then it’s always just a little bit more than you anticipated or wanted. And that’s fine. It’s a good problem to have. It’s different than like gasoline in your car. Right with cheese. They say how much do you get like, fill it up? Keep going. Let’s go. And they’re like, What does fill it up mean with cheese? And you’re like, I don’t know, but we’re on this journey together. Let’s see what happens. So you know, if you do that at a gas station, you’re filling your car up and we’re like, what did you What do you want? You’re like, fill it up and they’re like, Okay, no problem and then they do and then you know the little gas handle thing goes click one because that means it’s full. It’s registered that the car is full and gas and you’re like, you know what, let’s keep going there. You can’t because then the gas spills everywhere and And then you know, it’s a fire hazard. Cheese, not so much. The only hazard that Jesus is a fun hazard

    for maj hazard. I don’t know what it is. So anyway, you know, I think I was saying something about the dogs being lazy. I don’t know why I think that but I, this is kind of always on my mind how lazy the dogs are, the only time the dogs get up. And this is nice of them is when they have to use the restroom, which is what we call our back yard now because that’s, you know, what happens back there. It’s it’s, and they get up when they when they’re hungry. And they get up to, to bark, sometimes to shake, you know, a lot of shaking going on. Little ear scratching, that’s gonna it’s gonna happen probably two or three in the morning. Which is I think why they sleep all the time. I think the dogs sleep all the time, because they don’t just sleep through the night. And they don’t let me sleep through the night. And I think that the message they’re trying to tell me is, hey, you know what, why don’t you just hop on our schedule here and curl up into a ball, find one ray of sunshine, curl up in that little ray of sunshine, and pretend that it’s really warming you up? It’s not, but you can pretend it is. My assumption is that my dogs have very good imagination, and that they can really, you’re like, Yep, this is it’s woof, the sun is really giving it to me here. It’s kind of like when the door opens. And there’s a couple of birds in the backyard. And they run over to what I can only assume is to talk to the birds. Let them know hey, what’s going on? I haven’t seen in a while ah, spring is coming up. But then do the birds always fly off because they don’t want any part of that conversation. Right? I don’t know. I would love to have that conversation. I would love for spring to be here. Because you know what happens when when spring rolls around? Well, I get to sleep better because the time change is nice. There’s sun and there’s vitamins. And the most important thing of all, and I think you’re gonna agree with me then this thing here but Bob louder is that there’s a lot of cheese

    Outro 12:42
    the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar reflects on the contagious nature of yawning and shares updates from his travels promoting the show, which has made it onto the charts in multiple countries. Natty hilariously recounts a therapy session about his habit of taking on too many projects and responsibilities, only to admit he's done the opposite of his therapist's advice. He muses about weighted blankets as a metaphor for life's mounting responsibilities, gets interrupted by his kid telling him to "stop talking to your computer," and contemplates the important differences between cheese and gasoline. The episode meanders through observations about lazy dogs, sleep schedules, and the promise of spring, all delivered in Natty's signature rambling, stream-of-consciousness style.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Your kid bursts in and says, Hey, stop talking to your computer. And I'm just like, Oh, that really, that really boils it down. Doesn't it? That really hurts.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “My superpower really if I had to figure that I have a superpower I think it's going to be that I just continually add on to my life.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “With cheese, they say, how much do you get? Like, fill it up, keep going, let's go. And they're like, what does fill it up mean with cheese?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #therapy #productivity #dogs #parenting #spring #cheese #sleep #self-reflection

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right i just keep on yawning i wonder how this works with a podcast like in normal life if you're near someone and then they yawn then for some reason i don't know what but you you yawn as well i do i don't know if you do i think you do do you why is that it's like a yawn response like why are we why are we triggered i'm just i'm glad it doesn't happen when we sneeze like one person sneezes and then the whole table sneezing that'd be terrible but yawning that's weird too like why anyway i apologize i didn't mean to yawn this is natty bumper car and uh this is bumper podcast i uh i've been out and about and i uh you know i'm i'm working on the show here uh going to the different uh the uh different countries uh where the bumper podcast is he's on the charts it's actually we we've made it to the charts and uh you know talking to people oh they said you need a theme song gotta go get a theme song and i was just like ah we okay we'll get a theme song and then they're like you know what you got to do and everybody they all have an opinion you know what you got to do and i was just like i don't know what what what am i supposed to do and then they tell me all these things and i i at some point while they're speaking my my eyes kind of glaze over and my brain goes to another place and uh if i'm to be completely honest i don't know what they've said to me uh but i'm sure they've given me great advice and and then i feel guilty because these people have given their time to try to tell me you know get to help me to tell me what to do and then i i don't even listen how how ungrateful is that tremendously ungrateful oh what else is going on i've been working on uh the railroad like all my live long days uh but mostly i've been working on the railroad uh just just to pass the time away um because i'm not busy enough i um i i like to i like to i have a therapist i was talking to my therapist about uh she said you seem overwhelmed seem like you're taking too much stuff on i was just like yeah and she's like but you i know you like to do that and you told me that you know as long as you're feeling okay then that's okay are you feeling okay and i was just like no and uh so then she was like well then you need to take some stuff off of your plate and stop doing as much stuff and i'm like well i'm just like i'm just like i'm just like i'm just i was just like okay that sounds good in practice those are good words i have no idea how to actually make that happen and um then she said uh well your session is over and come back in a couple weeks and uh by that time either you will have figured it out or we can work on it then or knowing you you're probably gonna start three more companies and take on 16 more uh impossible tasks and i was just like all right that sounds like a challenge that's it seems like you're saying can you do these things and i'm gonna tell you right now yes i can i can i can do all those things um and uh i'm here to tell you bumper podcast i've i've succeeded in doing that i am quite proud of myself and i feel like you should be quite proud of me as well because uh i have managed to uh not only not complete not finish uh any projects but i have managed to actually take more projects on it's very impressive uh it's my superpower really if i had to you know figure that i have a superpower i think it's going to be um that i just continually add on to my life and i'm going to keep doing it and i'm going to keep more projects uh i'm going to be able to continue to work heavy and reflect and improve more on myself and and i think that's probably what inspired me to want to remain open um and me with uh this نیس كلمن g wa无 سال i think generally vaccinations have the same implications as you as a entrepreneur although this is my trick so if i were to just do a cost on profit i could get a little low so let's get down to business from me so i'm going to say yes i garden for this all right i'm talking about residual 쓰기 all right Uh, oh, okay. Oh, look how perfect everything. Great. Ah, you know, and then you go, you know what I'm going to do? I'm not going to take on a lot of projects. I'm going to take on the appropriate amount of projects, which, uh, is none because life itself is a project. Taking care of the kids, having the job, taking care of the dogs. These are all projects. Making sure that the car is working properly, making sure that, you know, there's just, there's in life, there's this massive list. It seems of things that you can't get away from. And, and, you know, those are a big responsibility. And, uh, do I make sure the kids brush their teeth? Did they, did they floss their teeth? Oh, I don't know. Look, that one's already asleep. How do I get him to brush his teeth when he's already asleep? So then why in the world would I go and look for more things, more responsibilities to add onto the pile? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm asking you a question because I don't know the answer. And, uh, I wish I did. Sometimes I think that what I do, and maybe we've talked about this before. I honestly don't remember. And I apologize for that. But what I like to do is, uh, if I just keep adding more stuff onto my weighted blanket, of life, uh, then, uh, well, I don't know what I think is going to happen, but what ends up happening is the weighted blanket gets so heavy with all the responsibilities that I can't move. And then, you know what I do? Uh, I sleep under the weighted blanket. It's very warm. I must say, um, the dogs love it because I'm not moving so they can just curl right up to me. Uh, I had no idea. Like I've had, you know, dogs before, but, uh, I had no idea how much the dogs, they like to sleep. Like that's all they do really is sleep. All right. Bumper podcast. I don't know if you've ever been in the middle of recording a really great episode of your podcast, which I understand is not what we were doing, uh, a second ago there, but let's say that I was recording a really, really good episode of the podcast. And, uh, you know, you're just really moving and you're talking and you're saying things and you're like, yeah, this feels great. And then your, uh, kid bursts in and says, Hey, stop talking to your computer. And I'm just like, Oh, that really, that really boils it down. Doesn't it? That really hurts. Stop talking to your computer, dad. Ouch. Huh? Cause I mean, I mean, in essence, all I'm doing really is I'm talking, I mean, I'm looking at a computer, I'm talking into a microphone and, uh, you know, I have, I have headphones on so that, you know, there's, there's, uh, you know, there's a few things that are going on, but, uh, I felt like he had, um, gotten me good enough that there was no reason for me to, uh, to try to retort, to try to, to try to come back. Uh, he, he had beaten me down as, as only your children can. Uh, what was I talking about? It is. That's the thing. This was yesterday and now it's today. And I, uh, I don't know. I, I wasn't ready to, you know, I, yesterday I ate oatmeal for breakfast and, and today I ate grits. Grits are just little tiny bits of corn and there was some cheese in it and some pepper and a little bit of garlic salt. If I'm to be completely honest, uh, maybe, maybe some cheese, maybe, maybe more cheese than I intended, but you know, that's how cheese works. And they say, how much cheese would you like on this? And you're like, keep going. And then it's always just a little bit more than you anticipated or wanted. And that's fine. That's a good problem to have. Uh, it's different than like a gasoline in your car, right? With cheese, they say, how much do you get? Like, fill it up, keep going, let's go. And they're like, what does fill it up mean with cheese? And you're like, I don't know, but we're on this journey together. Let's see what happens. So, you know, if you do that at a gas station, you're filling your car up and they're like, what did you, what do you want? And you're like, ah, fill it up. And they're like, okay, no problem. And then they do. And then, you know, the little gas handle thing goes click because that means it's full. It's registered that the car is full of gas. And you're like, you know what? Let's keep going there. You can't because then the gas spills, uh, everywhere. And, and you know, it's a fire hazard cheese. Not so much. The only hazard that cheese is, is a fun hazard, uh, fromage hazard. I don't know what it is. Uh, so anyway, you know, I think I was saying something about the dogs being lazy. I don't know why I think that, but I, uh, this is kind of always, on my mind, how, how, how lazy the dogs, the only time the dogs get up, uh, and this is nice of them is when they have to use the, uh, the restroom, which is what we call our backyard now, because that's, you know, what happens back there. It's in, it's, and they, uh, get up when they, uh, when they're hungry and, uh, they get up to, uh, to bark sometimes to, to shake, you know, a lot of shaking going on, uh, a little, ear scratching. That's going to, that's going to happen probably at two or three in the morning. Um, which is, I think why they sleep all the time. I think the dogs sleep all the time because they don't just sleep through the night and they don't let me sleep through the night. And I think that the message they're trying to tell me is, Hey, you know what? Why don't you just hop onto our schedule here and, uh, curl up into a ball, find one ray of sunshine, curl up in that little ray of sunshine and, uh, pretend that it's really warming you up. It's not, but you can pretend it is. My assumption is that my dogs have very good, uh, imagination and that they can really, you're like, yep, this is, it's woof. The sun is really giving it to me here. It's kind of like when, uh, the door opens and there's a couple of birds in the backyard and they, they run over. What I can only assume is to talk to the birds, uh, let them know, Hey, what's going on? I haven't seen you in a while. Oh, spring is coming, huh? But the birds always fly off because they don't want any part of that conversation, right? I don't know. I, I would love to have that conversation. I would love for spring to be here because you know what happens, uh, when, when spring rolls around, well, uh, I get to sleep better because the time change is nice. There's sun and there's vitamins. And the most important thing of all, uh, is that the birds don't want to be in the And I think you're going to agree with me than this thing here is, is that there's a lot of cheese.

    Producer: The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty bumper car and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for watching. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at HTTPS colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty bumper car. Also pretty, please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley. It's recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J pig, Rufus T Rufus, doodle poodle, robot trunks, and a gag, all of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty bumper car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumper car.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty bumper car. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    Natty Bumpercar: Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

  • Bumperpodcast #437 – Season 3 – Help

    Bumperpodcast #437 – Season 3 – Help

    Welcome to Coffee Can Alley! Welcome to the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproariously silly improvised comedy. In this episode, Pig tries to get to the bottom of some things while Producer and Rufus T. Rufus do anything but figure anything out!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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    About This Episode

    In this hilariously chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig tries to address an important issue but gets completely derailed by Rufus T. Rufus's nostalgic tale about Jack's Snack Shack down by the creek. The conversation spirals into debates about double negatives, food preferences, and whether Rufus might actually be a horse based on his love of oats and carrots. Producer joins in with confusing grading systems and his sensitivity about eating flies, while Aloysious struggles to keep everyone on track. The episode showcases the show's trademark improvisational comedy as the characters bicker, joke, and ultimately forget what they were even trying to discuss in the first place.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Jack's Snack Shack way out back is a hack, all right?”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “I don't want to get personal, but are you a horse? Because what you just described is basically the snack of a horse.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “Jack's Snack from way out back does not have any kind of a lack for giving smacks, in fact, he has a knack for giving stacks upon stacks upon stacks upon smacks.”

    — Producer

    Topics: #food #snacks #nostalgia #communication #jack'ssnackshack #workplacecomedy #grammar

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: now yes so all i'm saying is he's a problem right so if he's gonna be a problem and then we gotta change the name of the show or something yeah well so you know it's not

    Producer: like i don't not disagree hold on don't not disagree don't not this yes it's like i don't

    Rufus T. Rufus: not disagree however you know yeah now so i this is rufus t rufus now as a lawyer around here once we start throwing out double negatives and triple negatives as it were you understand with uh don't being the first one there not being the second one there so the don't and the not are going to cancel each other out and then the disagree i would i think is going to be your third negative so that's your triple negative which i think is going to bring it back into the fold of

    Aloysious J. Pig: being negative and um now i just think we gotta stick to the matter at hand no i understand i'm

    Rufus T. Rufus: just trying to keep it straight from a legalese point of view yeah well nobody really cares about

    Aloysious J. Pig: the legalese point of view at the moment because i think what we're trying to figure out is a bigger

    Producer: issue here all right yes so i totally don't not agree with you oh come on

    Aloysious J. Pig: I don't get paid unless I make the podcast, so I'm around, right? And I need to eat. I'm a pig who likes to eat food, okay? Yeah.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, it's interesting, Aloysius. I'm not a pig, you understand, but I am someone who does enjoy the food, enjoys eating, you know? And I have been reminiscing a little bit about when I was young, before I was ever a lawyer, you understand, when I was just in short pants and I was walking around by the creek, you understand? And there was a little shack there, and it was a snack shack, they called it. And I would go on up to the snack shack, and to the manager's name was Jack. I think it was called Jack's Snack Shack. And I would go in, and I would… Peruse the aisles. There's really only one aisle, but I would peruse it up and down, left and right, and I would pick out my favorite food in the whole wide world.

    Aloysious J. Pig: All right, you got me hooked. I want to know what your favorite food in the whole wide world is, but then we got to get back to the real thing, but I'm intrigued by the whole creek and whatever you got going on there. Tell me, tell me, tell me.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, well, okay, wow. Well, what I would find is that Jack's Snack Shack, Jack's Snack Shack is they had, it was dry rolled oats, and they would come in a little packet, and a little sack there, and then I'd get a little apple juice, so some oats and some apple juice, and sometimes I might eat a carrot or two as well.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Now, Rufus, I don't want to get personal, I don't want to get into your business, but are you a horse? Because what you just described is basically the snack, of a horse, like you're going to go in, horse love, they love eating oats, they love eating carrots, and they love apples, so that's who, I don't know if they drink apple juice, or if they're those things, it's like, oh, I'll eat an apple, but I won't eat apple sauce,

    Rufus T. Rufus: or they won't eat apple juice, but I will eat apples, and you're like, buddy, it's the same thing. All right, it's just in a different package, all right?

    Producer: So, hold on a second, so I'm looking it up on all of the, all of the internets, every single one, and I am not finding Jack's Snack Shack, done by the creek, but I am finding a Jack's Snack Shack that's way out back, you understand, I don't, that's this other part of town, I think, and it's got wonderful reviews, maybe we should take a field trip out there one day.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, now, you know, not to burst your bubble there, producer, and I do appreciate you doing research on the fly like that.

    Producer: Oh, how do I love eating flies, they're our mice, my favorite food, you know, if we're talking about it.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, we're not talking about it, we just want to figure out whatever Rufus is talking about, but, okay, thanks for the info.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, now, as I was saying, now, the Jack's Snack Shack that they have listed there that's way out back, that is not actually affiliated with Jack's Snack Shack that's done by the creek, that, so that one is closer to the tracks, you understand, so it's Jack's Snack Shack that's done by the tracks, and what had happened was Jack, the proprietor, had opened up his Snack Shack down by the tracks near the creek, and that's the one that everybody went to, that's the one everybody knows, that's where the reputation was built, and lo and behold, Jack had a cousin, also, watch this, he named John, but they called himself Jack, so Jack, number two, moves into town, sees how well Jack's Snack Shack is doing, and he's like, oh, well, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what the hell Jack's Snack Shack is doing, and the good reputation it has, and proceeds to go out back and open himself up his own Snack Shack, so what I'm saying is that Jack's Snack Shack way out back is a hack, all right?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you don't want to detract from Jack's Snack Shack way out back, or else he might come on over here and give you a smack, is what I've heard about that guy, okay?

    Producer: Yeah, no, I've heard the same thing, where Jack's Snack, Jack's Snack from way out back does not have any kind of a lack for giving smacks, in fact, he has a knack for giving stacks upon stacks upon stacks upon smacks, and you might have to get out of town on your, um, Jack?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, yeah, this took a terrible turn, there's everything since doing this podcast, but, you know, we're just chitin', chattin', and having a little bit of fun, and then out of nowhere, everything goes loop-de-loo, and I, I, producer, I just felt like you were forcing there, you were, you know, just pushing a little bit harder than you needed to, I thought we had a good, uh, uh, uh, premise, and we, you know, we could have ridden it home, but, and you start, I don't know, I don't even know what you were doing.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, I agree that it was terrible, but what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna give producer an A for effort, or is it E for effort? Is E even a, that's not a letter, Greg? Is it E for effort, and T for nice try? E for effort? How does that, and T's not, I don't know what we're doing, because that's, these aren't letter grades, it's A, B, C, D, E, F. Wait, but E's not in there. A, B, C, I got a D, oh, no, I got an F on my test. What's in E? Is that in between, I'm like, where does, how do I get an E? I would like to get an E, I think it's better than an F. It's one better than an F. One letter. That's better than a D.

    Producer: Yeah, so when I was in frog school, we didn't have all of those letters, the A's and the B's or whatever. We had an S, which was for satisfactory, and we have an N, which was for needs to be more satisfactory, I think. Needs improvement. What are we talking about that needs improvement? The sound, can you not hear? What are you talking about?

    Aloysious J. Pig: No, no, no, I think he was saying your S was better than a D. S was satisfactory, and then your N, it was an N, was for needs improvement, as opposed to needs more, you know, I don't, can we not, this has got my head all in a jumble here. I got this dude over here, who's eating like a horse lunch, oats and carrots and applesauce, juice, sorry, but he had not, I know, you don't like applesauce.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, no, but that's fine. Well, what was it, you had some sort of a bug in your bonnet before when we first started talking, when we all came into the room, and I don't have, I don't remember, that was minutes ago, and I don't have any idea what we was talking about initially, and so if anybody wants to refresh my memory, if I'm to be honest, my blood sugar's a little bit low because I hadn't had a chance to have a snack or even really a little bit of a lunch today. I'm feeling a little bit peckish, which, if you know, if you know what that means.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Now, I'm worried because when you said peckish, that you were like, I think chickens, they peck, right? They peck, peck, peck, peck, peck their food, so does peckish have anything to do with, do you want to eat some bird seed? Do you want, I don't know what else birds eat. Do birds eat other things? Oh, yes, absolutely. Birds eat bugs and worms. Really? Yeah, worms. Two. I had no idea. It's a lot. I find that to be unsettling. Huh?

    Producer: Rather disgusting. I mean, I don't know why, you know, you don't have to eat it. If the bird says that he wants to eat it, if that's the meal that the bird wants to have, then the bird should be able to have that, I think, you know? What does it even impact you, what the bird is eating? Why don't you just eat whatever you want to eat? I assume it's trash or slop or whatever it is, you know, because you're a pig. Yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I, I, I don't eat. I don't eat trash. Uh, thank you, though, for, for falling into that pig stereotype. Uh, I, I eat, uh, you know, delicious things is what I, I'm going to say, and I don't want to get into it. I don't want to go any deeper, but I eat delicious things. Thank you very much.

    Rufus T. Rufus: You know, now I'm feeling like this is a little bit strange, Aloysius, because you're over there making fun of my snack, which is a very healthy snack, my doctor. Uh, agrees and approves. He says, uh, this, he's never seen anyone eat quite as, as healthy a food as I do. And, and, and, and, yeah, we're making fun of a little bit of, uh, the frog over here, uh, producer for eating flies. I mean, what else is he going to eat, you know? And then, uh, me saying I'm peckish, and then you're saying, oh, what are you, some sort of bird or something? Come on now, Aloysius. Now you're not even going to tell us what you eat? Like, how is that supposed to make us feel? This isn't a team. This isn't us coming together and learning about each other. This is just you making fun of everybody and making us feel bad about ourselves, which just doesn't feel, uh, appropriate. Or, or, or right, you know, you see?

    Producer: Yeah, I don't want to, you know, jump onto Rufus's curtails or anything, but, you know, this whole time, it's like I, I don't not disagree with him about him saying these things about the food, and about the making fun of, and about all these, uh, you know, stuff. So, because I'm sensitive about the flies, I am. You know, people look at me, and they're like, oh, bro, he eats flies? And I'm like, I'm a frog. What am I supposed to do, okay? So, hold on.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, nobody cares. Okay, thank you, producer. I apologize if I made fun of anybody, made anybody feel bad. I feel terrible. Um, but I remember when you said the don't not thing, that brought me all the way back to the beginning of the episode when we were, oh, don't not, not, whatever. And I had a whole point. I had a whole point that I was trying to bring up with this episode. And, um, we got sidetracked, as we often do. So, here's what I actually wanted to talk about, okay?

    Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced by The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can find us on Twitter at Natty Bumpercar.com. And follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    Robot: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the Non-Productive Network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives License. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

  • Bumperpodcast #436 – Season 3 – Problem

    Bumperpodcast #436 – Season 3 – Problem

    Step into the whimsical world of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproarious improvised comedy. In this episode, Natty Bumpercar does some lamenting. A whole lot of lamenting.

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In this introspective episode of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar opens up about his recent absence from recording. He candidly discusses his struggle with prioritizing creative work when life gets overwhelming, describing his tendency to take on multiple projects while pushing aside the things he truly loves—like making the podcast. Natty introduces his "rock tumbler" theory of creativity, explaining how he mentally processes ideas while juggling responsibilities. He reflects on the challenge of seeking validation, doing things for others versus himself, and finding happiness in chaotic times. Despite feeling overwhelmed, Natty reaffirms his love for the show and his commitment to returning, ending on an optimistic note about eating tiny seedless oranges and declaring that the Bumperpodcast is back.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I like to push away the things that I care about that I really want to do and that are meaningful to me and uh slotting in some silly stuff that I know I can accomplish.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The joy at finishing the thing is nowhere near the depths of uh of depression and annoyance in myself at not doing the thing that I really want to be doing.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I miss doing the podcast and and i don't know where everybody is right now i hope they didn't give up on me.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #creativity #mentalhealth #procrastination #work-lifebalance #self-reflection #podcasthiatus #creativeprocess #happiness

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: so i'm not saying that like i have a problem or anything necessarily but i will say that something weird is going on where i haven't had the will or i will i was going to say the desire but i've really had the desire i just haven't had the will to come and record i don't know what's going on like every day i'm like i really want to go in and make a new bumper podcast i miss doing the bumper podcast and then invariably inevitably indubitably something else would come up and say hey i'm a bigger priority right now you gotta take care of me or else everything's fall apart and i don't know necessarily if that's the case or if my brain is just so overwhelmed by this this cacophony of other priorities in life and responsibilities that for some reason it uh it just kind of swept the podcast into the corner i don't like that because you i think i've told you before i love making the bumper podcast it's my it's one of my favorite things to do it's high on the list of favorite things to do like like very high i don't know what else is on the list but i know that this is very high i don't feel like i know i've been overwhelmed and i feel like i've been a little bit down maybe a little bit depressed um just with life you know sometimes you you just it gets to be a bit too much and um i i don't like to admit it but but sometimes normally okay well normally what i like to do when life gets to be too much and i get to be too stressed is i just kind of keep pushing forward and adding more to my plate because that's a great idea right it's like hey i'm about to fall to pieces why don't i take on six more projects oh those have deadlines oh great and they're all oh great like so i should just never sleep again perfect oh wait i'm also gonna be doing a lot of shows and you know just like thing on top of thing on top of thing um which even by themselves feel like they're kind of a a large undertaking and you know i'm not like well that large undertaking is going to be enough for me for right now no no i'm like let's spin the die and see how many other things that i can take on and i was i was talking to somebody about it and they said well you you must enjoy that and i was like why they're like well you always enjoy that and i was like why you're always seem to do it you always seem to be really busy you always seem to be doing a lot of stuff and i said yeah i don't know if i enjoy it because i think what i'm doing and uh you can call me out on this if you want to but i like to push away the things that i care about that i really want to do and that are meaningful to me and uh slotting in some silly stuff that i know i can accomplish um and i know i can kind of you know feel great because i finished something and then the stuff that i really want to do is still sitting over there uh like hey what about me i'm like oh yeah yeah okay you're next and i start making my way over to that thing i want to do and i'm like oh you know what i gotta do i gotta do this other thing make that appointment go to this thing do that thing and for the most part I'm pretty on top of that stuff but just just because I'm moderately organized doesn't mean that I'm getting done the stuff that I want to get done and it's it becomes a really annoying loop because what happens is I push off the thing that I want to do for instance making a podcast and then even though I feel good that maybe I finished this other thing I feel bad and I feel guilt that I didn't do the podcast or whatever it is and so and it doesn't even like even each other out right the uh the joy at finishing the thing is nowhere near the depths of uh of depression and annoyance in myself at not doing the thing that I really want to be doing and um so like even though I'm getting stuff done I'm I'm coming in at a feel-good negative is what I'm going to call it um the the bank has been depleted of good feelings and we've actually we're we're in debt from feeling good wise um so it's weird I need to stop doing that um and every so often what I like to do because I used to really beat myself up about this like I would and because I've done this forever is I would have the thing I want to do but then I do other stuff but I would have the thing that I want to do in my mind kind of rolling around and I always try to make it like a uh a rock tumbler if that makes sense where the things I really want to do I put them in the rock tumbler of my brain and even though I you know I'm not looking at the rocks because they're in the rock tumbler but they're they're just spinning and rolling and going and doing their thing and becoming like you know pretty little rocks and the hope is that when I finally get to do those things I'm going to be able to do them that it's weird because sometimes I will just knock out five or six things and then then whoa I feel amazing I feel like look at me look at natty bumper car and people are like how did you do where'd all this stuff come from and I was like it came from my rock tumbler and they're like I don't know what that means and I don't know if I want to know what that means and I'm like I gotcha so I just have to kind of accept that things are in my rock tumbler and try not to force them because when I force stuff out it never turns out the way I really want it to and it feels like even though if it's done and it doesn't turn out the way I want it to it feels underwhelming and that's kind of pointless so it's a real juggling act for me mentally to have stuff I want to do and I want to do it and I want to do it and I want to do it and I want to do have stuff I have to do get stuff done get the stuff done I want to and not drive myself bananas doing all that so you know and I I'm not complaining I said I think there's a lot of life going on there is but everybody's got a lot of life going on right but sometimes I have stuff in life that like I don't know I would like to be better and I put a lot of energy and effort and emotion and time into trying to make things better uh for other people um and it doesn't always translate it doesn't always work out and so then you have the thing where it's like all right I've poured all this energy into helping this situation or trying to make this thing better or whatever it is and it didn't work out and it didn't work out and it didn't work out and it didn't work out and it didn't work out and it's hard to reconcile with myself that that that's okay you know like you gave it you gave it your best shot there bumper car you really tried you really went in there and and you gave it your all and that's all you can do it's not always going to work out in your favor it's not always going to be uh you know end up great but even if it doesn't end up great that's okay because you still went through it and so you still have to acknowledge the experience and I don't know a lot of times it feels like I'm doing smoke and mirrors with my brain where I'm like you you got through it you made it that was a good experience you learned from it next time's gonna be better but you don't I don't know that next time could be worse you know like but I do like to try to come at things with a little bit of a silver lining and hope that you know you're putting all this effort in or trying to do all these things and what are you doing them for are you doing them for yourself are you doing them for other people you know and then why would you do it for other people like are you trying to gain their acceptance or their love or you know their appreciation and you know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't and there's zero you know percent you know positive chance that that's gonna happen because they're their own people and they're going through all these other things by themselves so you can't look to other people to make yourself feel good that's you know to get validated by other people that's that's hard so you just gotta like do things for the sake of doing things that make you happy right and i don't know i'm just mostly i'm just saying i miss doing the podcast and and i don't know where everybody is right now i hope they didn't give up on me and um hopefully you know the next episode won't just be me uh bibbling and babbling as it were about not doing stuff and doing stuff and you know being happy and satisfied i i certainly don't know the answer to being happy anymore feels like the world's on its ear and so yeah i kind of you have to live life and look for all the positives and look for all the happy things because if you don't oh boy it weighs you down right oh i think i need to go eat i don't know what i want to eat maybe like oh you know what i want to eat we have some of those little oranges in the house those tiny little oranges that don't have seeds that are delicious and you can eat like five in a sitting i think maybe it's time for me to go and peel an orange or two and then i'll have energy we don't have vitamins and i'll be ready to hit the ground running and take the world by storm because can i tell you what the bumper podcast is back

    Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon you

    Robot: this has been a non-productive media presentation executive producer frank hablawi this program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a creative commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it for more information visit non-productive.com

  • Bumperpodcast #435 – Season 3 – Top Ten

    Bumperpodcast #435 – Season 3 – Top Ten

    Step into the whimsical world of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproarious improvised comedy. In this side-splitting episode, join the eccentric gang, including Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and the ever-baffled Natty Bumpercar. Things take a hilarious turn as Natty finds himself utterly confused about the mysterious events of the last episode. As the gang attempts to unravel the comedic chaos, listeners are in for a rollercoaster ride of laughter and unpredictable moments.

    But the confusion doesn’t end there—Producer takes the reins and rolls out an end-of-the-year top ten list that will leave you in stitches. With their signature blend of quick wit and offbeat humor, the Bumperpodcast delivers a one-of-a-kind comedy experience that keeps you entertained from start to finish. Tune in for the laughs, stay for the camaraderie, and join the gang as they navigate the comedic mysteries of Coffee-Can Alley in this unforgettable episode. Don’t miss the fun; hit play and dive into the laughter-filled world of the Bumperpodcast!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In this meta episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar discovers that last week's episode has mysteriously vanished from the podcast feed. Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, and Aloysious J. Pig all act suspiciously evasive about the missing episode, leading to mounting frustration from Natty. To distract him, Producer unveils his year-end countdown of the top ten mammals of last year, featuring entries like the giant panda, California sea lion, and hedgehog. However, when Producer declares a tie between the narwhal and platypus, Pig has had enough and walks out, leaving the year-end recap in typical Bumperpodcast chaos.

    Memorable Quotes

    “i'm super excited because this of course is like our end of the year recap everybody's doing it especially us because it means we don't have to make up new content so it's perfect”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “It's the top ten mammals of last year.”

    — Producer

    “You can't have a tie. Happy New Year, bumper car.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #missingepisode #year-endrecap #mammals #comedy #podcastmeta-humor #animals #countdownlists

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: i know so i'm super excited because this of course is like our end of the year recap everybody's doing it especially us because it means we don't have to make up new content so it's perfect yeah

    Natty Bumpercar: um hey everybody it's me natty bumper car here in the bumper podcast and i'm confused because speaking of making new content what happened to our episode from last week i does any does

    Producer: anybody know yes i hello everyone it's me producer and um i think that i i will field this this question um i will i will answer this question i'm going to take the question that you have given me i'm going to uh figure out what do you what do you um

    Natty Bumpercar: What are you doing, producer? Just tell me the answer, please.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, so, Natty, I think what producer is trying to say right now, I think what he's trying to impress upon you to elucidate you to with an answer is probably that you, well, I mean, well, come on, you know. I mean, right? Yeah, you know the answer. We're good. Can we just move on? We're going to move along.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wow. What is going on? You guys are both being like extra, extra, extra, like strange, even more so than normally. Remember, so a couple of weeks ago, Santa Claus was here and we were talking about stuff. I guess you guys were talking about stuff because I went back and listened and I wasn't around. And then I came in at the last second and then said, oh, I got a huge story to tell everybody. And then, of course, the show ended because that's how it seems to work. And then last week we all got together and I was just telling my whole story, the whole big thing. All the stuff that happened, the reason why we haven't been recording as much, all that stuff. Yeah.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, Natty, hi, everyone. It's me, Rufus, T. Rufus. That episode was, of course, recorded. You can just look in the logs here of the studio and you can see the time stamp, the signatures, the signatories of the signatures, the signatories of the jurors of the time, special time. And with all that information given, I think that we can all agree that that episode was, in fact, recorded. Yes. It was made. Yes. Made in the shade. I know. Yeah, you know. So it was a great episode, Natty. I listened to it over and over again. It might be one of my favorite episodes. One of the best episodes that I ever had listened to.

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't think I believe you. It was a kind of depressing episode because there's been so much rough stuff going on. And I can't imagine that anyone was going to go back and listen to it multiple times. And that's not even the point. The point is I'm looking on, you know, through the feed, which is where all the podcasts live, and it's just it's not there. There's the episode, Santa Claus. Yeah. Yeah. There's a break. And then now we're here. And so you're saying that you remember recording it. Evidently, there's some sort of a log here in the studio where we can see it, but it doesn't seem to exist anywhere that I can find, at least.

    Producer: So now I think that comes back to me as the producer of the show. And, you know, we record stuff. Then what happens is I go through and I make the edits and I edit the music. And I do all of the things that I do as my job as a producer. And then I upload it. And I do all the back behind the scenes type of work that, you know, doesn't get appreciated most times, which is fine. But I put the transcript of the words and I make the picture. Oh, boy. And I try to, you know, I just do all the things. Can you just move on? And then people can come and they can listen to the episode. So, yeah. All perfect.

    Aloysious J. Pig: What was that? All perfect? Have you been doing more of those online language learning courses? How many accents do you have now, producer? That didn't even make no sense.

    Rufus T. Rufus: You know, I heard it as well. It was his voice that went upsy-downsy. That's what we call that in the business. Upsy-downsy. And I hope you're not still, producer, you can answer. My question, I hope you're not still using any of those courses because, you know, we canceled them after the trial period. And if you're still getting access to one, that means we're paying for one, which is going to come right out of the bottom line. And, you know, we can't have that because we have budgetary issues. We have, you know, the book here has all the expenditures and all the earnings and all the… Can you stop?

    Natty Bumpercar: Can we just stop, please? Well, all right.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, calm down.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, no, I'm not going to calm down because you guys are doing the thing you always do where I come in and you act like the thing that I'm talking about doesn't make any sense. And I don't understand. Like, we recorded an episode and you're acting like you know it was recorded and you're saying you listened to it several times. Pig, I don't even know what you're talking about. And, producer, you just started to get into the… I got some bolts of making podcasts, which nobody cares about. Especially nobody on this show. Good one. That was a good one, Aloysius. It wasn't a good one, okay? I'm just trying to figure out what happened to the episode from last week and I guess I'm just not going to find out. I guess maybe there was some sort of mishap, some sort of shenanigan, something that now the episode is gone. We've recorded it, obviously, and now it's… I suppose that it just got eaten up by the internet.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, hold on a second there, Natty. Now, as the lawyer of the Bumper Podcast, can I tell you that if it was, in fact, eaten up by the internets, as you are postulating, then we might have a case against said internets. So, we might have something and we got to file… I'm going to go file some stuff. So, I'm going to head out. Okay. But you guys are great and I'm going to go figure this thing out, all right?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Okay.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Sueing the internet.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Check you later, Rufus. So, yeah, Natty, looks like Rufus is on the case and it looks like… It feels to me like we can just button this issue up. Okay, we can just move on… No buttoning up. …with the rest of our day. No. And what a glorious day it is. It is a nice day. Don't you know that we're going to do a year-end countdown?

    Natty Bumpercar: No, we're not going to… If we're going to do a year-end countdown, here's what it's going to be. The top one show that just disappeared. And you know which one is going to win? It's going to be last week's episode. That's the one that's going to win the whole thing. So, I give up. Do you guys want… Now, I don't even care about the last week's episode and I really don't want to do, like, any kind of year… Year-end review countdown. I'm not into that right now because I'm kind of frustrated. But if you guys want to record something else today, then let's do it. It'll be, I guess, the last episode of the year, probably. But I did so much research

    Producer: and I did a lot of… You know, I went and I read things and I made a chart and I made an infographic. Yeah, Natty.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Let the guy… He made all this work. Yes. Yeah, can we just see what he's doing?

    Producer: Can I just… I'll show you and maybe it'll spark some interest. I… It's the top ten mammals of last year.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Listen to that, Natty. That sounds like some real choice episode material there. Can we just… You know what? I would love it if we just could… If we could just listen to what producers put together. Top ten mammals of last year.

    Natty Bumpercar: I hate to admit it. I am not a fan to admit it. But listen, you actually got me. I'm actually interested. Can… Can I please hear, producer, whatever you've come up with, whatever it is about the top ten mammals of last year, I guess.

    Producer: All right. Great, great. I'm so happy that you're into it. I'm just going to jump right in. And at number ten…

    Aloysious J. Pig: Bro, bro, hold on. Hold on. I know this… I know you're behind the booth, but listen, you got to build it up a little bit. You got to give your crew… Criteria, right? You got to tell people why they're here. You can't just run through the list. That's going to drive people crazy. They're going to be like, well, how did it get to be number seven or whatever, all right? So you got to ease us into it a little bit, all right? All right? You know, pique our interest.

    Producer: All right. Well, you know, I suppose I could do that. I have no problem with that. So, you know, mammals, they are… Let's see. To be a mammal, you have to be warm-blooded and have a… a backbone, you know, like a ver… ver… vertebrae? I don't know how to say it, but a backbone, you know? And I think, you know, when they feed their young, their babies, a milk. So that's kind of… You know, that's kind of the criteria. And they have to have gone above and beyond what's expected of them in the last year. So that's my list.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. So you've got your list of ten mammals from last year. That went above and beyond. Let's hear it, producer.

    Producer: Okay. I'm so excited that I'm going to get to do this. So coming in at number ten, everybody, I hope you like this, is the giant panda who just barely edged out the finnick fox. All right. Well, my list is already…

    Aloysious J. Pig: is already blown. I had giant panda much higher, but I guess we'll see how this goes.

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm sad because I had… finnick fox way up there. So, yeah, keep going, producer. Okay, okay, great.

    Producer: So the next one on our list, number nine coming in, is, of course, the California sea lion, which is, you know, they did a great job last year, I think.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I don't… Are you just… I know we're only on number nine, but I… Mike, are you sure? Yes. California sea lions? Yes. What do they even do?

    Producer: Oh, the California sea lions are excellent entrepreneurs, and they do all kinds of things for the community. They do. So they are on the list, you know? They do. Yeah, I agree. Right. So now I'm just going to go into the next one. Number eight is, of course, the hedgehog. Okay. Everybody clap it up for the hedgehog.

    Natty Bumpercar: I was having some issues with the list as well, Pig, but now that we're into hedgehog territory, sign me up. Hedgehog at number eight. Let's go.

    Producer: Okay, number eight. So number six and number seven, we're actually a tie between the narwhal and the platypus. So they're both a tie, you know?

    Aloysious J. Pig: I'm out. You can't have a tie. Happy New Year, bumper car.

    Unknown: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon. This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.