OOOHHH – GUACAMOLE!

Hey there mister style (which is a name of no one in particular – who may/maynot exist)! You want to know how I make the guacamole?! The best guacamole in the whole world (at least my little world) . . . well the alright – here we go.

This is the stuff that you will be needing (in no particular order):

  • avocado
  • tomato
  • onion (red)
  • garlic (fresh minced)
  • hot sauce (I prefer cholula)
  • cilantro
  • lemon
  • lime
  • salt
  • pepper

There is an odd kind of alchemy that seems to happen when all of the ingredients get all kinds of mixed . . . oh – blah – blah – blah . . . here is how it all gets thrown together.

Start with a nice big bowl and then put all of the ingredients in . . .

  1. Maybe 2-3 nice ripe avocados (ripe means slightly squishy – unripe means not so tasty – and hard to mash up).
  2. Probably 1 tomato (I like those tomatoes on the vine – but that is probably just marketing – the only ones that I stay away from are the cherry tomatoes [ they are way too small – and require a lot of cutting up] and heirloom tomatoes [they kind of creep me out with their odd colors and shapes].)
  3. 1/4 to 1/2 of a red onion diced up nice and small (sometimes I use vidalia “sweet” onions to mix the world up a bit)
  4. 2 cloves of garlic smashed with the flat side of your knife and then minced.
  5. The rest of it (salt, pepper, cilantro, hot sauce, lemon and lime) are totally to taste – so you will have to experiment.)

I seem to use a good bit of lemon and lime and am under the impression that it keeps the guacamole a brighter green for a longer amount of time (ooh – here is a fun fact – I was under the (false) impression that if you left the seeds from the avocados into the bowl after the guacamole was made it would “magically” keep it fresh – but evidently that was all a lie to make me look lame (like I needed that).)

Still with me? Alright then – squish it all together – and sooooooo good . . .

Ant 83

Friday Photo [#21]

Update #30 [Where are we?]

Where am I living these days anyway?! Bloomer Town? Undy-ville?? Panty Lane???

While litterally in life I barely know where my head rests at night . . . this event threw me steadfastly into the I obviously have absolutely no clue anymore anymore anymore at all . . . the other day as I was standing at the kitchen sink washing the freshly walked dog (Irving Brown Socks) off of my hands when something odd caught my eye. [Here – I’ll set the scene for you real quick – like] It was a beautiful sunny day outside – and there were clothes hanging on the line – thinking about whatever it is that clothes think about as they dry off in the breeze . . . and then there were . . . and then there were . . .

Holy moly! Those are my unmentionables hanging out there on the line – for the entire town to see . . . 2 (two) pair of my boxers – for reasons completely unknown to me – had made the treck from the washing machine to the great/grand out-of-doors to hang in all of their should-maybe-have-just-gone-in-the-dryer glory. There may as well have been big spotlights on my mostest inner-mostestitudes . . . a billboard of my measly thoughts that I think all of the time . . . a guy in a sandwich-board advertising stuff about me that could possibly end up on a sandwich-board . . .

My world flashed in front of me for a couple of more seconds – and then I washed my hands of the whole situation and moved on to my next ridiculous thing to sweat bullets about – and then forget about almost immediately.

And if you need to reach me – I’ll be in Boxer Station in Boxer Station in Boxer Station – huzzah!

Update #29 [Who has ‘em?!]

Well – I do of course!

The other day I went to the dentist – it had been something like 5 (five) years since I had darkened the toothy doorstep of anyone who leaned into the more – ah – dental areas of –uhm – practical medicinery-ism – and I was moderately nervous.

The worst part of going into any kind of office is the clip-board full of paperwork that I have to fill out . . . and – honestly – this may be tied to something slightly more broken in my brain – because I just can’t fill in the miserable little blanks on the forms with any coherent thing that makes any sense – this is a pleasant “condition” that also happened all during school . . . put a test in front of me – and I start trying to figure out what the angle is – what exactly question number 10 (ten) is even getting at – and how it applies to the malarkey that question 27 (twenty-seven) is screaming over there anyway – anyway – anyway . . .

Well – some – of those blanks got filled in (I know my name!) – and then the dentistry really got cracking in earnest. There was scraping and polishing and sucking and – most importantly – a dentist’s assistant that decided to (through a plastic shield – and all of the noise of power tools in my head) have a complete conversation. It was all very pleasant.

The best part came when the actual dentist flew into the room, shook my hand (as he was already looking at some charts) and proclaimed that I had perfect teeth – and that I should take extra special care of them. The assistant concurred. They both ran out of the room and I was left – basically – sitting on top of tooth-mountain – the king of all teeth.

Some of the joy evaporated when the assistant came back into the room to give me an old song and dance routine (minus the singing and dancing) called “How to Brush Your Teeth!” – which included – for the record – a technique that is much easier to manage when holding a set of plastic teeth out in the air . . . I happen to have gums – and a cheek. Next up – was a demonstration of how to floss where she – no joke – tied a knot in the floss and yanked it (multiple times) through all of my back teeth . . . all while gleefully saying “Oh! That bleeding will go away soon enough!”

Then I (old bloody gums) was told that I had more paperwork to fill out . . . and the day was done.